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Chapter Text

Natasha was spaced out for about thirty minutes now. Research class was boring, truthfully she wasn't even sure why it was a major subject if it wasn't related to her future college course. She was snapped out of her thoughts when their teacher— Sir Fury— calls out her last name,

“Last pair will be Romanoff and... Hill.”

That nearly made the redhead fall out of her seat. Lucky for her, she was able to hide her surprise. In contrast, Maria didn't hide her reaction at all. The furrow in her eyebrows and light frown would tell her enough. The two had been academic rivals since who knows how long, and Maria seemed to have an additional hatred for Natasha and that was all the younger girl knew.

Maria Hill was the “no nonsense” class president who seemed to move like she was a robot. She was practical, and militarized in a certain way. She always finished things before or exactly on the due date, with a quality nothing less than perfect. Natasha was the complete opposite.

The redhead was more of a “due tomorrow, do tomorrow” type of student. Yet, she always seemed to keep up and — if not — excell in other subjects better than Maria. Probably why the taller girl hated her, if she wasn't so great at procrastinating, she'd hate herself too. In addition to that, she was the Class Vice President, everybody knew about their rivalry.

“Remember, this is your only project for this last quarter, if you fail here, you will retake this entire year's Resear Class, everyone dismissed.” Fury says as he packs up his laptop.

As Natasha stands from her seat, she's greeted by the icy blue eyes of their class president. “I'll do the project” She says, her voice monotonous yet commanding. Natasha raises an eyebrow at that, frowning. “You really think I'm a slacker?” Natasha says, exaggerating offense.

Maria had to surpress a rising eyeroll, “Do you really want to spend two months together everyday after school for a good two to three hours?” She says as she crosses her arms.

The redhead adjusts her stance to stand taller (even though there is no way that she'd ever be taller than Maria in a physical sense), she doesn't know why she's so offended by Maria's assumption. “If it's for my grades, I'll do it.” She explains.

Maria shrugs, “I'll email you on possible topics then.” The brunette leaves the classroom, leaving Natasha all alone. Then, and only then, did Natasha let out an audible groan. The two-month forced proximity between them could either go so right or so wrong, and Natasha wasn't willing to bet on it.

____

“And she just left! Just like that! Like, I don't understand why she hates me so much.” Natasha grumbled as she picks on her sandwich. Clint was unbothered, Natasha complaining about Maria wasn't anything new.

“You should know by now that she dislikes everyone here.”

Natasha sighs before angrily taking a bite out of her food. “Dislike and hate aren't the same, she hates me.”

Clint sat there with a monotonous expression, “Look, you can worry about your weird situationship enemies thing with Hill later. Go eat your food, and let's meet up with the others.”

The redhead grumbles as she munches, she was probably over reacting. There was nothing different with the way Hill acted, right? They just never talked regularly before, so it was a new feeling.

____

Tony, Steve, Thor, Bruce, Wanda, and Bucky were all waiting for Clint and Natasha on the bleachers. Once Wanda saw sight of the two, she waves to them to catch their attention.

“Thank God you're finally here, I was about to die of testosterone overload if Tony gloated one more time.” Wanda says as she taps the empty seat beside her to let Natasha sit.

Tony rolls his eyes, “You guys just can't handle my greatness.” Natasha liked this, she loved the familiar banter with her friend group. She hadn't really been particularly close with her adoptive family. Natasha was twelve when Alexei and Melina adopted her and her younger sister— Yelena— in Russia. Melina was great, she was the mother she dreamt of.

But, she was already practically a teenager when she was adopted, it wasn't easy to open up fully. Alexei was alright, he was never really there because he was always at work. Whenever he wasn't, he'd occasionally celebrate the achievements of his daughters, but overall, he'd just sit on the on the couch and whatever brainrotting media was on the T.V.

With her friends though, they always noticed the little things about her. Her shifts in behavior, her likes and dislikes, she was way beyond her achievements to them and these group of people felt more like family sometimes.

“Earth to Nat?” Clint says, snapping his fingers in front of her to grab her attention. Only then did Natasha realize she was spacing out, “Yeah?”

“Are you OK?” Steve asked.

Natasha nods and shrugs it off, “Yeah, just lack sleep a bit, why?” The others didn't believe her, but they knew better than to push. “We were going to go to Tony's later, you wanna come with?” Wanda explains to her.

Surprisingly, Natasha found herself shaking her head, “No, I've got a project to do with Hill. If she finds out that I'm out at a hangout that will most likely include alcohol knowing Tony, she'd probably hate me so much that she'd get a witch from Etsy to voodoo me or something.” She jokes.

The group lets out a collective laughter at that, except for Steve who seems to take a little longer to process the jokes. They call him the ‘grandpa’ between them, he was the eldest, and he acted like it as well. Well, Bucky was the eldest, but at least he caught on quick.

“Alright, just don't die because of that project.” Tony sarcastically says, which earned a chuckle from Natasha. “No promises there,” She says, pressing her lips together and shrugging, “Hey, who are you guys paired with for Research?”

“I'm paired with Morse, Bucky is paired with Coulson, Thor and Bruce are paired together I'm pretty sure, Wanda is paired with Danvers, and Steve and Sam are paired together.” Tony answerd for them.

Natasha sulks, “Does Sir. Fury have something against me? You guys all have your own rivals but I get paired with mine!” Wanda giggles at the complaint, enjoying the image of Natasha being stuck with Maria for the next two months.

Steve pipes up, “Hey, if it makes you feel better I'm paired with Sam,” He says. Steve was Bucky's ex-.... Ex-something, and Sam was Bucky's current something (He apparently cannot commit to proper relationships, based on observation). Though Steve and Bucky are now good friends, he was still walking a tight rope of awkwardness with Sam.

Natasha was amused at that, suddenly being paired with Hill wasn't so bad. “Oh, it does make me feel better.” She says with sarcasm in her tone; everybody knew it was the truth, though, and it made it even funnier to everyone— specifically Tony.

Stark laughed way too much at that, “I'm praying on your downfall.” Bucky says. All the man did was brush it off, “Pray all you want, I've never been more entertained in my life.”

The friend group continues their banter for the rest of the lunch break until the bell had to break their bonding time.

____

As soon as Natasha got home from school, she collapsed on her bed. Everyday was so draining, she wondered who thought of going to school at seven in the morning, and she wished she could tell them to go to the mental asylum. Considering the fact that they're probably already dead, Natasha just stares at her ceiling. Letting her mind go blank.

It wasn't until she got a notification that she finally remembered that she was living. She checked to see what it was, and it ended up being Hill's email. Sometimes Natasha wondered how the girl was so punctual.

To: Natasha Romanoff
From: Maria Hill

Romanoff,

Here are possible topics we could use for our research. I've included pre-existing research papers on the topic so you may revise it on your own.

https://docs.google.com/document/

Have a wonderful rest of your day.

Even as her ‘rival’, Natasha must admit, Maria was smart. She was well-organized and she thinks through everything, it was a quality that Natasha admired.

She quickly wrote a response and threw her phone somewhere on the bed, she felt her eyes become heavier by the moment. So, she gives in to the much deserved rest.

Chapter Text

Natasha woke up sweaty, and feeling like she was drugged in a pitch black room. She feels for her phone somewhere on her mattress to check the time, 21:48, this definitely woke her up.

She nearly jumps out of her bed to turn on the light, rummaging through her school bag for her laptop. There were piles of homework to do today, and she wasn't expecting to sleep for more than thirty minutes. She really should've set an alarm.

Her inbox was filled with messages from friends, and classmates asking for help for their own tasks. She goes in between replying to them, and doing her own assignments. She finishes off her Homeroom first, then Science and Math, English, and lastly, Research.

She replies to Maria's e-mail with the information she has gathered all compiled into one google doc.

To: Maria Hill
From: Natasha Romanoff
Subject: Final Research Project

Apologies for my late reply,

Here is a link to a google doc where I've compiled all of my research with proper citation in APA style:
https://docs.google.com/

I've researched “AI Ethics in Healthcare.” Let me know if you want to change topics and/or if you have any questions about my paper.

Natasha

She wasn't usually this formal with everything, normally, she'd screenshot parts of an article, copy the link and paste it on her notes app. But, she had to try and prove herself to Maria. To prove to her that she wasn't a slacker, and that she's willing to work with her.

Natasha wasn't sure why she wanted to prove herself so bad, maybe it's for the ego boost it'll give when your presumably “enemy” admits they were wrong about you. She finishes everything by 1:30 AM, and her stomach growls to remind her that she hasn't eaten dinner yet.

Dragging her feet downstairs to the kitchen, she dives into the fridge and looks for something edible. Ultimately, she decides on the cold Chinese take-out they had yesterday and popped them in the microwave. The silence was deafening, Natasha could only hear the beeping of the machine and her own breathing. Who knew it'd be so quiet in the middle of the night?

This silence was broken by a notification on her phone from Clint. Natasha wonders what he's doing up so late, immediately replying.

Clint: nat
Nat: why are u up??
Clint: why are YOU up...
Clint: anyways, i texted u cause i lowk forgot to ask u earlier if i could borrow ur laptop tmr
Nat: don't you have ur own
Clint: well yea but it crashed bc of a virus 🤷‍♂️
Nat: 😭😭 sure, but don't crash mine
Clint: ok thx spyder
Nat: np
Nat: wait when am i getting it back
Clint: the day after tmr
Nat: ok

Natasha sighs, Clint was always losing or breaking stuff. And Natasha always fell victim to it. She takes out the re-heated take-out from the microwave and a spoon from a drawer and begins to eat.

Sitting on the kitchen island, eating her food and watching Rotten Mango on YouTube, Natasha lets herself relax again.

___

The next morning, the redhead was dreading waking up. She went to bed at around 4:00 AM, and it was only 7:00 in the morning now. Running on three hours of sleep for seven hours of school filled with mentally and physically draining activities would not pair well. She lays on her bed, staring at the ceiling for awhile before Yelena barges into her room,

“Get up, if I'm late because of you, I'm going to kill you.”

“Good morning to you too,” Natasha murmurs as she finally gets the energy to rise. She takes a quick shower and grabs the first clothes she sees in her wardrobe. Drying her hair quickly, she decides that she has no time to braid it today and moves on to simple make-up.

Natasha stuffs everything she needed in her backpack and runs down to the living room, skipping breakfast. “Natasha, aren't you going to eat first?” Melina asked as she lifts the plate in her hands.

She shakes her head in response, “Yelena and I are going to be late if I ate.” Melina sighed at that and hands her a ziplock with a simple sandwich in it instead, Natasha was really making a habit of waking up late.

The girl thanks Melina and puts on her shoes to see Yelena and Alexei already waiting in the car for her. Luckily, the ride to school was quick, she had just finished her sandwich when they had to go down. Natasha checks the time, 8:27 AM, three minutes left before class starts. Finally, she let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.

Her first period, Madame B, was strict and scary. She was pretty sure the ‘discipline’ techniques their teacher used was illegal. Speed-walking to her classroom, she makes it just in time.

First period was boring, but she was Madame B's favorite. She had a reputation to uphold— so she tried to keep herself awake as she takes down notes and actively participated in class to avoid being one of her victims of discipline.

Once it was over, she meets up with Clint in the hallway and hands over her laptop, “Take care of it. I swear, if you-”

Clint cuts her off before she could finish, “I promise, I won't do anything to break it or lose it or something, you can trust me! When have I ever done that?” He says with an unnecessarily high pitch.

Natasha just looks at him dead in the eyes, her expression giving more of an answer than any words.

“Alright, alright, see you at lunch, Nat.” He says, admitting defeat. The two then separate to go to their own classes with a hug.

____

Up next was research, Sir Fury had them sit next to their partners, and the lack of sleep plus all of this was making Natasha suicidal.

“I'll give you my time to collaborate with your partners now, tomorrow we will have a discussion.” He says as he types away on his laptop. Great, she actually had to talk to Hill now.

Natasha knew it was bound to happen soon, but it was way too soon. There was awkward silence stretching between them before Maria clears her throat.

“I liked the topic you picked, and I must say, your research was impressive. AI on Health Care is a great topic as it discusses the two biggest problems in our generation. I was thinking we could...” Whatever Maria said next, Natasha did not hear at all.

She knew Maria got serious when she truly engaged in doing something, but she never really saw their Class President in action like this before. It was an interesting sight to see, Natasha admired the way she so easily dismissed distractions and heavily focused on what she was doing.

Suddenly, Maria was calling out her name, “Romanoff?” The redhead finally snaps back into the real world at that. “Did you listen to anything I said?” Maria asked accusingly.

Natasha didn't try to pretend, and she shook her head lightly, “Truthfully, no, but in my defense I lack more sleep than usual. What were you saying?”

“I was saying,” Maria says with an eyeroll, “that we should formulate our Research title and Statement of the Problem now, the sooner we get things done, the better.”

“Alright,” The redhead complies. “Clint is borrowing my laptop right now though, so is it alright with you if I use it to search a bit?” She asks.

Maria nods, nudging her laptop towards Natasha. It was surprising how Maria agreed so easily, considering the fact that the laptop was probably also a personal laptop outside of a school-use one. Did Maria trust her, or is Maria just a saint and has nothing to hide?

Whatever, that was unimportant, she begins to type away on the keyboard, sharing with the brunette.

Time flew by quickly, and before Natasha knew it, it was the end of the class and they had only done the draft for a research title so far.

“We need to work together outside of school.” Maria said as she packed.

Agreeing, Natasha nods, “Yeah, you can come by my place, just text me when you're free.”

“How's later after school?”

“Mm, I'll text my mom to see if it's fine.” Natasha answered as she cleans up her table, “I'll tell you what she says before English class later.”

The brunette hums in agreement and bids goodbye to Natasha. The annoyance and resentment was still there and Natasha could see it, but it seemed that Maria has finally accepted the fact that they were partners and learned how to tolerate it.

___

English class came around and Maria was the first to approach. Folder in hand, she gives it to Natasha, “I found this research paper on our topic from last year's batch. We can revise this learn from it.”

As Natasha was about to take the folder from Maria's hands, their fingers brushed together. This was their first physical contact, and Natasha wasn't sure why, but it felt different. It felt like the air suddenly shifted around them. Truthfully, they shouldn't have even touched, the folder was long enough to keep distance between them.

Natasha's brain short-circuits for a moment before her braincells had finally regathered. “Yeah, great idea,” She says, completely forgetting what she was about to say next. The two stare at each other, unsure of what to do next. Maria was about to turn on her heel to end the conversation until Natasha called out her name, “Hill, uhm- my mom said that it was fine. You can come over, but Yelena will have her friend also come over by around six if that's fine with you.”

Maria shrugs, “Yeah, it's fine.”

The silence grew again, Natasha spoke, “Yeah,”

“Yeah,” Maria repeated. Finally turning around this time. Natasha was unsure of what actually happened, that was new. It didn't come from an emotion of loathing, hatred, jealousy, or anything in that lane at all. It was something else entirely, and it was foreign.

Their other classmates started to pour in and she got to her seat. She opens her lecture notebook which was mostly just useless doodles and incoherent words only she could understand.

____

“And I was like, boom! You looking for this?” Rhodey spoke. Their entire lunch table was silent, “Boom! You looking for- you know what? Why am I even telling you guys this.” He sighed hopelessly.

“That's it?” Thor asked.

“Yeah! It's a great story! A War Machine story!” Rhodey exclaimed. He didn't eat lunch with them often as he was a Senior and the rest of them were Juniors. Their schedules just didn't match up, it was always a delight when he could join, though.

The rest of them just agreed with Rhodey even though they didn't really understand his story. They were joking around as they all ate the cafeteria food that Natasha was sure was basically poison. Speaking of, the redhead was unusually quiet today as she thought of her interactions with Hill again.

Of course, Clint would notice. As loud and obnoxious he was, he was also terrifying observant. “Hey, Nat, are you alright?” He asked.

“Yeah, I just lack sleep.”

“Oh, I get you, I haven't been getting any sleep since training season started.” Steve complained. Wanda pipes up excitedly, “Good luck! Pietro is going to participate in a match for the first time, I'm so proud of him.”

Steve appreciates Wanda's enthusiasm, “He's a good kid, great player.”

“I know, but never let him hear that,” Wanda says in a warning tone, “I can't handle another ego boost for him, he's getting a little too Tony Stark.”

The group lets out a huff of laughter at Wanda's playful jab towards Tony, “Hey! What did I do?” He pouted.

Natasha finally snapped back into the conversation with their playful banter. She didn't know what was happening to her, or what Hill was doing to her, but the brunette won't leave her mind.

In addition to that, she'll have to spend extra time around the girl after school for their project. Screw Sir Fury, screw research, and screw Maria Hill and her devastatingly beautiful blue eyes; this was messing with her brain.

Chapter Text

After an exhausting day at school, Maria had to go to Natasha's place and then her work. She knew she was signing herself up for a mentally draining life, but if she wanted to escape her household, she should suck it up.

Packing up her bags, she moves to get out of the school— waiting for the redhead on the sidewalk. Maria doesn't wait for long before she sees Natasha walking up to her,

“Hey, is it alright to you if we walk? My dad is taking Yelena to ballet class.” Natasha asks as she replies to someone on her phone.

Maria nods, “Yeah”

“Great, come on.” Says Natasha as she starts to walk, Maria quickly catching up to her. They stay in an uncomfortable silence for the rest of the walk, Maria making mental notes of what to talk about when they start studying, and Natasha trying not to die from the awkwardness.

Once they reach Natasha's house, the younger girl knocks on the door to be met by someone who Maria assumes is her mother.

“Natasha!” The woman greets with a smile, “Is this your friend?”

Natasha nods, “Yeah, my project partner for research. The one I told you was coming today.” She explained.

Maria bows her head in respect for the elder, “Hi, I'm Maria.” She introduced herself.

The woman reaches out for a handshake, “I am Melina, Natasha's mother.”

“Nice to meet you, miss.” Returning the handshake with a polite smile. Melina smiles at Maria's well mannered behavior, “Please, just call me Melina.”

Natasha cuts off their conversation to avoid losing more time, “Alright, introduction's over. Mom, we really need to go work on our research.”

“OK. Go do your studies, girls.”

With that, Natasha motions towards Maria to follow her as they start to move upstairs to her bedroom. When Maria enters her room, it wasn't what she expected. The walls were covered with posters from different bands, it was messy but organized in certain way, she had vinyls and a guitar sitting in one corner, it surprised Maria.

Maria didn't even know what she was expecting, this was certainly an astonishing discovery. She must've been standing there for too long as Natasha had to pull her back to reality.

“Hill?”

“Hm?” She hummed as she finally starts to move.

Natasha shrugs it off, “You can sit anywhere you want, let's get to work.”

Maria nods in agreement as she sits on the floor space beside the bed. At first, Natasha insisted that she sits on the bed with her or a chair at least. After a long debate, Natasha realizes she can't convince Maria to do something she doesn't want to do. Instead, the girl gives her a pillow to support her back while she held her ground— quite literally as she sits on the floor.

They work together quite cohesively to both of their surprise, discussing their topic, sharing ideas, exchanging feedback, it all seemed normal. Except for the fact that Natasha could tell that Maria had her guard up. How the person she was talking to was wearing a faux personality and emotion, that she wasn't really being her authentic self.

But, Natasha dismisses this because, why should she care? It wasn't like had the right to worry about it since they weren't even friends, and barely even acquaintances. They tolerated each other at best.

Around an hour or so passes by, and Natasha's brain was going blank. She was re-reading the same paragraph for about the twentieth time now.

“Can we please take a break? My brain isn't braining anymore.” She pleaded to Maria.

“Sure”

“Wait, seriously?” She asked in surprise. She wasn't sure why she was so shocked Maria agreed so easily.

“Yeah?” Maria said as she raises an eyebrow.

Natasha nearly slams her laptop shut as she lays down on her bed. The redhead was taking a break, she wasn't sure about Maria, though. She was still typing on her laptop, “You know, using your gadget too much can give you bad eyesight.”

“I have bad eyesight.” Maria admits. Natasha was taken back by that, she really didn't notice.

Noticing the surprise on her face, Maria immediately explains, “I wear clear contacts. I don't really like wearing glasses because I don't like the way they're on my face.”

Something about the brunette talking about what she didn't like felt... Actually, Natasha didn't know how to describe it. Much like any other emotion she felt around the other woman, there were no cohesive words to explain it. But one thing she does know is that she saw Maria in a different lighting. She finally realizes that Maria is a human as well, and that made her curious just a tiny bit.

Much like any other person on this Earth, Maria had her own story, one that would explain all her behaviors. Why she's so stoic and reserved, why she would pick on the fingers beside her fingernails as a way to fidget, why she was so avoidant about physical touch, or why she would keep away from having any human interaction that meant vulnerability.

It wasn't that Natasha purposely noticed all of this, it was just something that came naturally. For the past few years thst they've been classmates, Natasha found herself observing Maria's movements and habits from afar because, she was so weary of showing feelings that Natasha just unintentionally noticed these things.

Definitely.

“Do you do anything outside of studying?” Natasha gives in to her curiousity.

Maria looks at her with an unreadable expression, “Yes, why?”

“What do you do? What do you like?"

Suddenly, Maria had trouble recalling everything she did and took interest in. She must've been silent for too long as she hears Natasha speak, “Sorry, forget it.”

“No, it's fine. Well, I work a part-time job from eight to eleven at night throughout the week, I tutor on Saturdays and Sundays, and I like watching movies.” Maria said, trying to give Natasha a plausible answer without giving away too much of herself.

Natasha looks at her for a moment, “Do you not get mentally exhausted?” She asked in wonder.”

“No”

“You're really damn good then, I applaud you.” She says, gazing at Maria for a few seconds with a softened expression.

“Thanks,”

______

They finish at about 7:30, Maria begins to stuff her things in her bag in an organized way.

“Hey, why don't you stay for dinner?” Natasha offered.

Maria shakes her head, “No, I have work, and I still have to do a couple of things back home.”

“OK. Stay safe, it's pretty late.” said the shorter girl as she accompanies Maria on her way outside. Kate and Yelena were watching on the T.V. together as Maria and Natasha walked by.

“Maria?” Kate spoke up.

“Oh, Kate I didn't recognize you!” Maria says, Natasha was lost.

Kate jumps from the sofa to high-five Maria, which she returns— again, Natasha was lost.

Natasha finally gets her thoughts together, “Wait, wait, wait, pause- how do two know each other? Kate is from an entirely different school!”

“We lifeguard the community pool together in the summer” Maria explained, Kate nods in confirmation.

Yelena stares at the mundane interaction, “Wow, I did not know that.” She turns to Kate with a frown, “I didn't even know you lifeguarded!”

The woman shrugs, “What can I say, I'm full of surprises.”

Maria shakes her head in fond amusement of the two's interaction, “I have to go, I have work.”

“Oh! Right, goodbye, stay safe, a lot of violent people nowadays.”

Hill nods, waving the two goodbye as she and Natasha exits the house. “Same time tomorrow?” Natasha asked.

“Yeah”

The redhead smiles, bidding farewell to Maria as she turns to leave. But before she could go far, Natasha runs up to her, “Hey, can I get your number? It's easier to communicate that way when we want to meet up or if there's a change of plans than e-mailing.”

Maria takes her phone out of her pocket and hands it over to Natasha, “Give me yours.”

With way too much enthusiasm for someone who's supposed to be her enemy. Natasha takes the phone and adds her contact. Then and only then did Maria actually leave.

Natasha waits until Maria is a few blocks away before going inside; they might've been enemies in academics, but Natasha still wanted to make sure she was safe.

On the way back, she's immediately met by Yelena's teasing, “Is that your new girlfriend?”

“Shut up.”

____

Maria clocks into work ten minutes early, the only co-worker she didn't want to rip her hair out when talking to hasn't arrived yet. It was a slow evening at the café she worked at, so she killed some time by studying her notes for their Math quiz tomorrow.

A few minutes later, her co-worker— Bobbi— finally arrives. “Hey, what's up?” She says as she stations herself to the cash register.

“Studying, I have a quiz.”

“I don't know how you do it, you're so well thought out, you know what I mean?” Bobbi says in awe as she stares at the brunette.

Maria takes a moment to look up from her notes to meet Bobbi's eyes, “Thanks, you gotta do what you gotta do.”

Bobbi hums in agreement, letting their conversation die out so Maria could focus. When the brunette was done studying, they chatted as customers very occasionally came in. Maria never told anything about her personal life towards Bobbi or anyone really, but she could admit that she's felt closer to the blonde than anyone in her life so far.

After their shift, Bobbi offers Maria a ride home in her motorcycle, which Maria accepts because you could never go wrong with free ride. Besides, she'd probably be safer this way, Bobbi was someone she could trust to a certain extent.

“Stay safe, thank you.” Maria says as she gets down from the back of her motorcycle. Bobbi nods at her and waves goodbye.

Taking a deep breath before entering her house, Maria drags her feet. Not really wanting to meet her father again. She hoped that he was black out drunk this time, it was more convenient. It was getting harder and harder to pretend to be alright these past few weeks as he got more violent. Her mother's birthday was approaching, and the closer it was to the date, the worse he got.

It's always been like that since she could remember, it's why she hated staying in the house and instead threw herself into her studies. Unfortunately, her father was awake, and drunk.

“Where have you been?” He says in the voice that always made Maria's heartbeat race. That tone meant that he was exceptionally angry, and being exceptionally angry meant that he was going to take it out on her.

“At work.” She tries to stabilize her voice.

He gets up from the couch and grabs her wrist hard enough to bruise and throws her on the floor. Maria stayed there, unmoving and unresponsive. The more reaction she showed, the more it would hurt. She closes her eyes and accepts it.

“You worthless peace of fucking shit. It should've been you, what did you do to deserve to live?”

The belt buckle was cold against her skin, but she barely even felt it because he was quick with his hits. She holds back her tears, biting her tongue. His words start to ring in her ears, it was getting harder and harder to ignore the pain.

Not the physical pain, the emotional one. Maria's father hates her for simply existing, for living. She tried not to fall into his poison, but it's hard because, after everything she's done to live up to her mother's name, he doesn't see it. He continues to throw around those words that runs around her brain throughout the day constantly.

Maria fully believed that she was undeserving of anything good that happened to her, but she also believed that she didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve to be hit until she was bleeding and crying.

When it was over, he yells at her to get off the floor and go inside her room, “Go, you little bitch! I don't want to see your fucking face.”

With that, she takes her school bag and locks herself in her room. She goes inside her bathroom and collapses to the cold tiles, too exhausted to even cry, so the tears just pour out.

Tomorrow, she'd go to school and act fine in front of everyone.

Chapter Text

It wasn't that Natasha was noticing it, but Maria was awfully snappy and looked extra tired today. She was silent, and whenever she spoke to one of their classmates, she raised her voice. Natasha felt that something was wrong.

However, who was she to assume things? She barely knew Maria, she had no reason to care. But she still did, and this confused her.

“I don't know, she's very off today. There's something wrong, Clint.” She says, picking on the logo of her water bottle.

Clint narrows his eyes at her, “And how would you know that?”

“I don't know, gut feeling?”

“I swear if you say “I don't know” one time in this entire conversation, I'm going to lose it.” He says as he give Natasha a look.

Natasha groans, rolling her eyes, “I'm worried for her.” Genuine concerning written in her eyes. Which was odd, because why is she expressing so much concern for Maria?

“If you care so much, ask her instead of talking to me!” Said Clint with a shrug.

The redhead stayed silent, Clint wasn't really helping. But he was right, she should ask Maria. Though, she wasn't going to do it anyway, they weren't friends. She isn't in the position to care.

____

During Research class, Natasha and Maria worked together like always. This time though, Maria made sure to leave a space between them. Natasha always noticed how the brunette was weary of physical touch, but she's never been bothered to this extent.

She shrugs it off, maybe she was overthinking it. Then, she notices Maria pinching her thigh to stay awake. Again, she shrugs it off, because Maria had her reasons and she didn't need to tell Natasha.

This was a constant in every class they shared, and it was starting to get to the redhead.

Natasha was in her literature class, one of the very few classes she didn't share with Maria. She asks for permission to go the bathroom and leaves. Once she enters, she sees the familiar brunette pushed against the wall with her knees hugged tightly against her chest.

Natasha was unsure of what to do at first, but she approaches in a slow manner. Calling out Maria's name in almost a whisper.

“Hill?”

Nothing.

She tries again, “Hill?”

Nothing again. It is then that Natasha realizes that Maria wasn't just crying, she was having a panic attack. Clearly struggling to breath, and shaking. She stays with Maria until she calmed down, hesitant to make a move.

Maria felt like her chest was empty but so heavy at the same time, suddenly she's hypersensitive to the blood rushing in her ears. Through her blurry vision, all she saw was her father and his wrath. Every noise made was replaced with the poison that he engrained in her brain.

She tried to be fine, but she couldn't. The brick walls she had put up started to crack, and little by little, the emotions started to flood in. Maria was in her Humanities class, and they'd brought up the topic of abuse and it's psychological affect on people. It was getting hard to ignore, she found her leg moving up and down rapidly as she picked on the corner of her fingernails until it bled. Finally, she collected enough thoughts to excuse herself.

It was so stupid, she was so stupid. How could a word affect her so much? It shouldn't have. She was stronger than that. She's worthless, she didn't deserve anything. Then it was getting worse again, she tried to focus on anything else, anything.

Then, she found the soft sensation of someone playing with her hair. It was different from the touch she usually received, it was calming. Eventually, Maria was slowly regaining herself back. It's only then she noticed that the person playing with her hair was Romanoff.

“Hi.” Said the redhead in a soft tone.

Maria was afraid to speak, did Natasha really see her like this? “I'm sorry, you didn't have to see me like thi—”

“Shh, stop. It's OK, Maria.” Natasha stops the gentle touch of her hands on Maria's brunette locks. Maria was way too exhausted to be distressed about it. She burries her head in her arms, ashamed to look up.

Natasha didn't leave, she sat with her until she was fine to talk again.

“Why are you staying?” Maria asked.

“I didn't want to leave you like this.” Natasha said empathetically. Except Maria could tell that it wasn't laced of pity. Natasha's expression wore a sad smile, like she knew what it meant to feel this way.

Maria left it at that, they fell in a comfortable silence. Natasha didn't want to over step by pressuring Maria to talk, she'd tell her if she wanted to. They stayed that way until Maria broke the growing tranquility, “I don't hate you.”

With uttermost surprise, Natasha looks at her.

“I know you think I do, but I don't.” She says, finally facing Natasha. “I envy you. I envy the way you have friends, the way you express yourself, the way you live.”

The redhead looks away, “There's nothing to envy about me.”

“There's so much to envy about you.”

They fall into silence again, Natasha unsure of what to say next. Afraid of letting Maria think she said something wrong, she let her heart speak, “I stay up thinking about everything I've done at night, regretting it all.”

“You don't have to—”

“I want to. I want to tell you, Maria.” Natasha admits. “Yelena and I were adopted from Russia when I was twelve by Melina and Alexei. While I was in the group home I faced cruelty, but I was the “favorite”. I couldn't complain.”

Maria listened intently, thankful that Natasha was telling her about herself instead of pressuring Maria to speak up. This way, the redhead was creating a safe space for the both of them.

“They made us train to be good children, and there was a ranking. I scored number one every time, anyone below the top three got punished. I got rewarded for good behavior... They-” Natasha paused, thoughts reeled in her mind as the memories came back. As if a thousand year old volcano had errupted once more.

“I'm here.” Maria reminded her.

She nods to express her gratitude, taking a deep breath before continuing. “The people there would reward the top three with sex. They said it's to give us pleasure and to prepare us for our future husbands...” She wipes away the tears that began to fall, “You probably think I'm gross now.”

Maria shakes her head, “No... No, I think what you went through was wrongful, and you didn't deserve that. That was-” Cutting herself off before she could finish her sentence because— frightened to bring up uncessary memories.

“Sexual Assault.” Natasha finished for her.

“Yeah- yeah. And that would never be your fault, and that would never make you gross. Thank you for telling me this, I don't know why you trust me so much.” The brunette digs her nails into her palms.

Natasha lays her own hand on top of Maria's to stop her from doing so, “Because someone who's experienced hurt will see someone who's experienced the same hurt. I know you wouldn't tell anyone of my traumas, just as I wouldn't tell anyone yours if one day you decide to tell me.”

The two grew too tired to speak, sitting on the bathroom floor, simply enjoying each other's presence. It wasn't until the bell rang that they've realized how long they actually spent there.

“Huh, I guess we spent the entire class here.” Natasha joked.

Maria began to get up, washing her face with the cold water. “I guess we did.” Looking at Natasha through the mirror.

“See you after class again?”

The brunette nods, offering Natasha a smile. The younger girl exits the bathroom, spotting her friends ‘arguing’ in the halls.

“Literally what does that even mean!” Wanda exclaimed. Natasha approaches them and Tony immediately pulls her into the debate,

“Natasha, can you please tell Wanda how it is against the rules in Uno to stack two plus cards on top of each other?” Tony says with an irritated grin.

“Whatever man, I'm too tired for this.”

Steve tries to break them up, “Tony, we were playing Uno No Mercy, not regular Uno. It's alright to stack two plus cards.”

“I told you so!” Wanda yelled a little too loudly. Natasha missed the quiet tranquility of the bathroom earlier just a bit more.

Her friends continued to argue about the rules of Uno as they walk through the lunch hall together, and it continued until they sat down.

“You know what? I give up! You win, but I'll never forget that I was right.” Wanda yields in defeat as she stabs her mac and cheese a little too hard.

Tony takes this as a win and throws a fist in the air. “Alright, moving on! Natasha, I'm throwing a party on Friday, are you coming?” He asks, immediately changing topics.

Natasha shrugs, “Why not?”

They talk about anything that flowed into their conversation, somehow they started with the party and ended up talking about horse barns?

___

Maria and Natasha spent the two hours doing their research once more, this time the air between them was light instead of tense.

“Hey, Tony's having a party friday night, wanna come with?” Natasha asked sincerely.

“Yeah, sure”

The redhead smiled, “Great, do you have someone to pick you up? I can do it, I'll borrow by dad's car.”

Maria closes her laptop, finishing her work, “I mean, no, but you don't have to pick me up.”

“I wouldn't be offering if I didn't want to.” Natasha reassures Maria.

“OK.”

Smiling at that, the redhead types off a quick text on her phone, “Great!” She says, laying on her stomach to observe the brunette, “We're pretty much done for tonight, wanna play two truths and one lie?”

Maria contemplates for a moment before answering, “Why not?”

The two play a couple of interesting rounds. So far Natasha found out that Maria was a lesbian and she used to play soccer.

“Wait, deadass?”

Maria raises an eyebrow, “Is there something wrong?” She narrows her eyes at Natasha.

“No! No, I'm a lesbian too, it's just wild. I never expected that...” Natasha says truthfully, arms up in the air as if to signify that she didn't mean harm.

The brunette laughs at that, like full on belly laughs for the first time. Natasha felt a fuzzy feeling filling her brain and a warm comfortable feeling in her stomach, she could swear that everything stopped right at that moment. Maria's laugh was beautiful, her carefree nature was a rare sight to see but so worth it.

“You look pretty like this.” Natasha blurts out before she could stop herself.

Maria pauses, “What do you mean?”

“Like, carefree, you know?” Natasha looks down at her hands and begins to chip on her red nail polish.

“Wow, you really are gay.” She teased.

“That's not- that's-”

“It's OK. I was just teasing you. Anyways, you really didn't notice that I was a lesbian? The carabiners and boy clothes didn't speak loud enough to you?” Maria says with genuine curiousity.

Shaking her head, Natasha replies, “No, I thought you liked the practicality of carabiners and the comfortability of boy clothes. You seem like the type of person to worry about that stuff.”

The brunette hums, technically Natasha wasn't wrong. She did wear those for the functionality of it, but also because she wanted to signal to other sapphics that she was one of them without having to announce it. It wasn't that she was ashamed of her sexuality, it was just easier to keep it on the low while she doesn't have enough stability to live on her own yet.

They play a few more rounds before Maria had to go to work, and by then they knew enough about each other. Again, Natasha waits until Maria is a few blocks away before going inside.

“You still haven't answered my question, is that your new girlfriend?” Yelena says as she sprawls out on the sofa.

Natasha sits on the beanbag and throws a cushion with perfect aim at Yelena, of course this didn't stop the blonde, “Avoiding my question isn't answering it!”

Chapter Text

Going out at one in the morning on a school night probably isn't the greatest idea, but here she is, sneaking out of her bedroom to go hangout with her friends. Natasha was always clever and found many different ways to go out of the house unnoticed.

Her friends waited for her a few blocks away in Tony's car. They used to do this frequently back in Freshman and Sphomore year, now it isn't so often. However, whenever one of them needed some distraction from their problems, they'd all go out of their way to go be there as support and gather up no matter what time, or whenever one of them just wanted to escape the world for the night.

Once Natasha reached the car, the windows were all rolled down with an old 90's classic playing, “Who's on aux?” was the first thing Natasha said.

“Me” Steve said, which Natasha rolled her eyes fondly at that, because of course he is. “I should've guessed.” replied Natasha.

“Want some?” Clint takes a beer bottle from under the passanger seat. The redhead looks at him with mixed expressions, “Clinton Francis Barton, drinking on a school night?” She shakes her head in sarcasm, taking a bottle from him.

Their drove off into wherever the road lead them to, drinking the cheap beer that Clint stole from his dad's shed. This was somehow the most authentic version of herself that she's been in awhile. You have to choose between what the world expects you to be, and who you are— and for Natasha this doesn't come easy because there was always a constant pressure on her to be perfect.

Natasha didn't return until five in the morning, so yes, she might lack sleep and has a killer headache, but at least she was able to relax even for just a moment.

___

Natasha went to school looking half dead, and if anyone noticed it, they never mentioned it. She had a headache that made her feel like her brain was going to implode inside of her cranium, so her thoughts were a little delayed.

“Romanoff? Are you listening?” Maria's firm tone spoke.

“Yes, I just- I didn't get much sleep and I my head feels like it's going to explode any minute.” Natasha admits, she didn't mean to stutter but Maria's striking icy blue eyes staring down, could you really blame her?

The brunette went back to talking about their research, and Natasha just nodded along. Her brain wasn't loading enough.

Was Maria's jawline always this sharp? Her duality is amazing, how could she have such a firm yet warm tone when speaking? She spoke like an angel. What was happening to her?

Wow, she's really tall, even when sitting down she was nearly a head taller than Natasha. Tall women were hot, Maria was hot. Not that Natasha noticed that or anything, Maria was just conventionally attractive.

This headachw was really doing something to her.

___

Lunchtime was no different, except that she actually ate proper food and drank some Advil, so she could think properly now (somewhat).

“Ugh, I never should've drank that stupid beer. How come you guys don't have a hangover?” Natasha complained, burrying her head in her hands.

Tony smirked, “‘Cause we only drank one each, I'm pretty sure you finished like four bottles.”

Natasha just raises her middle finger towards Tony— everyone.

“Hey, year end party is December, people are already thinking of who to ask out. Who are you guys thinking of?” Wanda asked curiously.

Clint immediately perks up, “I'm definitely asking out—”

“Laura, we know!” the entire friendgroup says in unison. Clint wasn't very subtle about his crush on her.

Putting his hands up in defeat, “Oh my god! What haters you guys are.”

“Whatever, I'm asking out Pepper.” Tony says, which encouraged the others to speak. “I'm asking out Sam, obviously” Bucky adds, taking a bite out of his burger.

“I don't think I'm going to go, I don't really like large gatherings” Bruce explains. Thor suddenly spoke up, “Yes! I too, will not go. I have a family party on the same date.”

Sighing, Wanda adds on to the conversation, “I might go alone, unless Jean asks me.”

“Jean Grey” Natasha perks up curiously.

Wanda nods, “Yeah, we're in this weird situationship thing right now, I'm not really sure who to ask out.” She pauses, “How about you? Who are you asking?”

Natasha simply shrugs, lazily playing with her food, “‘Dunno, whoever asks me out I guess.”

“I heard Lewis was going to ask out Hill.” Clint brings up.

“Lewis? Darcy Lewis? Science Club secretary Darcy Lewis?” Natasha suddenly snaps into reality.

Nodding, Clint answers, “Yep, if not her probably someone else. Hill's got looks if I'm being honest.”

Something about this made Natasha's stomach turn, and not in a good way. Another indescribable feeling rises within her, they only want Maria for her looks and not the person she is. Maria should go to the year end party with someone she trusts, not some random who finds her attractive.

“I don't think she would go with anyone, she's not that type of person.” Natasha blurted out before she could catch herself.

Bucky raises an eyebrow at this, “And how would you know that?”

“It's pretty obvious, Hill just isn't like that.” Her tone was casual, however her expression had betrayed her.

Clint narrows his eyes at her, “You're acting like a jealous girlfriend. Are you sure you two aren't doing more than the
project?”

Natasha kicks him in the shin under the table, at that seemed to do the job of shutting him up.

___

Maria was walking side by side with Natasha on the way to the café she worked at because she was called in for an emergency shift. That meant double the hours, but double the pay, so Maria accepts. Offering to do the project in the café instead of Natasha's house instead so they can still work.

“So... that year end—”

“I swead to god if I hear one more word about the year end party I'm going to lose my mind.” Maria cuts off the redhead, “That's all people approached me about today! Why are people already asking out dates when it's three months away?”

Natasha laughs at that, “Yeah, it gets annoying, doesn't it?”

“Especially when men ask you out, take a hint!” Maria complained, throwing her hands in the air.

The redhead observes her, the way the crinkle between her eyebrows formed and a small frown etched on her beautifully pink lips, she could see why people found her attractive.

“Is there something on my face?”

“What?” Natasha asked, startled.

Maria's lips frowned more, “You keep staring at me.” That's when Natasha finally realizes and looks away, eyes focused on the sidewalk.

She thinks of a plausible answer for a moment, “There's nothing on your face, you just look cute when you're annoyed.”

“I'm not cute” Said the brunette, exaggerating offense.

The younger girl smiles, “You so are, especially when you're all pouty.”

Maria hits Natasha on the arm playfully, “Shut up, I don't pout.” She crosses her arms, the said pout involuntarily forming.

“Pout.” Natasha points at the brunette.

Looking away in slight annoyance, Maria realizes that there's no winning this argument (?). They continue casual talk on the way to Maria's workplace. Maria had to admit that it was nice to have more than one friend that she could relax around just a little more.

Once they reach the café, Maria points out an empty slightly secluded booth that Natasha could sit in while Maria worked.

“I'll sit by you when I can, it's Thursday which is usually a calm day here.” Maria spoke. Natasha complies and sits, taking up the seat closer to the window as she sets up the stuff she needed— her laptop still with Clint.

Maria kept her word and sat beside Natasha whenever possible, helping with the research and being friendly company.

Bobbi noticed this of course, and being the great friend and co-worker she is, she immediately asks, “What's with you and that beautiful redhead?”

“What?” Maria almost yelled. Almost.

“Oh, we're playing denial route, alright I get you.” Bobbi winks teasingly. The brunette wishes she could strangle her right now.

Ignoring Bobbi's comments, she goes to set up an order. However, the ignoring made the blonde more persistent. No matter how many times Maria repeats the word “friends” she knows it won't work on Bobbi, so she gives up trying to defend herself. Getting ready for the amount of side comments she'll receive.

“Who's that blonde?” Natasha asked curiously.

Maria looks back at Bobbi who's eyeing the two, giving her a look, “A friend, don't mind her, she's incredibly nosy.”

“OK. If you say so...” The shorter girl unsatisfied with the answer but letting it go.

The two continued with their work as Maria balances her job and school, Natasha was reminded on how she doesn't really know much Maria, and why she chooses this much of a hectic schedule.

Natasha would try getting closer to the brunette, no matter how hard it'll get.