Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warnings:
Categories:
Fandom:
Relationships:
Characters:
Language:
English
Stats:
Published:
2025-10-02
Words:
686
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
6
Kudos:
8
Hits:
128

Isaacs Letter to Nigel

Summary:

Isaac writes a letter to NIgel

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

 Nigel, i am dictating this letter to Sam.

I know you don't want to talk to me, and as you said, you don't want to hear any apologies.

But please, give me the opportunity to explain myself.

Before and at the wedding, i treated you abominable.

Thinking about it, after the wedding i acted so cruel and heartless, i am deeply ashamed about it now.

You did not deserve that. I guess my wedding panic and my silly crush on Chris mixed up and i really couldn't think straight anymore.

I only knew, that i  couldn't do this to you. I felt that we would have been married under false assumptions.

I had a unhappy marriage with Beatrice, and i believed, marrying you, i  would again trapp another person in a bad marriage.

That wouldn't be fair to you. It was so mean to say, that our relationship lacked passion.

To use that as an excuse to cancel the wedding. To blame you for that.

You wanted a full relationship, but it was my lack of experience who prevented that.

Coming from an age, where showing emotions in public was frowned upon, it is difficult to express feelings for me.

I never learned that. Beeing a soldier doesn't makes it easier. I think, we both can agree on that.

I know that you wanted more, and i wasn't ready for that. It was a dissappointment for you. And i have dissappointed you.

No wonder you consoled yourself with Jenkins and then Chris.

I don't blame you for that!  What is done is done.

I never understood, how you could be so sure about getting married to me. Did you never had a moment of doubt?

The mistake we both made was to rush into this relationship.

I guess, after sneaking around each other for 250 years, we wanted to made up for the time we lost.

Instead we should have tried to learn to know each other better.

And for me, just out of the closet, i was still learning to acknowledge myself as i am.

And i am still working on that!

I don't know how you did it, or much you struggelt, but in our conversations it became clear that you accepted yourself

and your needs at quiete an young age. Maybe that is the big difference between us.

I married young and tried to hide my true self, you lifed as open as it was possible during our lifetime.

I envie you for the experiences you made, at home and abroad.

How bold you must have been, i can only imagine how dangerous it was sometimes.

I also envie you for the fun you had, while i was still trying to be like all the straight guys.

I desperatly wanted to belong to the circle around Franklin and Hamilton.

They never respected me, because they could sense, that i tried to be somebody i wasn't.

Looking back is painful. But maybe i can learn something from it and try to be a better person in the future.

Whenever i start to doubt myself, i will try to remember the moments i thought i lost you forever.

The first time when Jenkins lied to both of us, and the second time when Ralph the cholera ghost got sucked off.

I never felt so sad in my afterlife, and never been so happy and relieved when i saw you again minutes later.

Don't get me wrong, i don't want your forgiveness.  All i want is, that we accept the mistakes we made and move on.

No, i am not still dreaming about a future with Chris. After what he did to you, i am cured from him!

Even if we can't make each other happy in a way we both deserve, maybe we should start simply as friends.

Think about this, as long as you need to. I will be waiting at the lake every night.

When you are ready come and talk to me. You have all the time in the world.

Sam will bring this letter to the shed today.

your friend Isaac

Notes:

Beeing a gentleman, Nigel will answer this letter when the time is right. ☕🍸