Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Just when she'd gotten used to the new green streak in her hair, a yellow one appeared. She recognizes that her hair color isn't what she should be focusing on. It's been two weeks since Tony and Natasha died. Two weeks since the world crashed back into motion.

Two sickening, twisted, awful, heartbreaking weeks. She's wearing a black dress with a large black trench coat. She kind of hates wearing dresses, but Pepper always loved it when she did. She wants to be as respectful as possible to the "real Stark family"

She almost chose not to come, sure she was his daughter…in some ways. Sure, she had been there at all the times in his life where it mattered. She still felt wrong attending…that is until Harley called her.

She hadn't talked to the kid in a while, but he used to come over to her house throughout the years of the blip. They'd talk and pace in her small garden about anything and everything. He was just such a good kid…well, he was 19 now, not really a kid anymore.

That beautiful, innocent, young man had called her.

"Hey, kid." She smiled when she answered the phone. "Hi, Jillian…I was just wondering…you're going to the funeral, right? I mean, you were his daughter and everything, more than I was his son and I got an invite so I figured you would have gotten one too. I just didn't know if you'd actually go after everything that happened and I just…don't wanna have to stand alone." He rambled, somewhat anxiously.

She hesitated for a moment before answering…"yeah, I'll be there."

"Oh, thank God! I mean, I still probably would have gone even if you weren't there and I'd have to meet all the other Avengers by myself…and probably stand by myself…will you let me stand with you? I know you probably know everyone there…I just was hoping that-"

"Of course, Harley…we stick together, you're really the only person I talked to during the five years that half of the universe was gone." She had answered truthfully.

So there was no turning back now. No matter how nervous she was…and no matter how much blood she coughed up that morning.

She and Harley stayed at the Stark lake house in the guest room while all the other guests had to drive up to Northern New York for the funeral. The only magical moment of that night was meeting Morgan Stark for the first time.

She and Harley arrived at 9:30 pm the previous night. When they did, it wasn't Pepper Potts or Happy Hogan who greeted them first…it was Morgan. The five year old had come bounding out of the house as soon as she pulled up. "Is that Morgan?" Harley had asked her.

"Yeah…" she laughed with a bright smile forming on her face. She got out of the car and Morgan jumped into her arms. "Big sister and big brother!" She giggled, holding onto Jillian.

"Hi, Morgan!" Harley had said as he approached them. "Hi, Harley!" She smirked, and it dawned upon Jillian that Morgan probably didn't understand any of what was happening around her.

"Are you my new magical big sister?" She asked, looking up at Jillian with sparkles in her eyes. "Well, I'm hardly new…but I can be pretty magical." She smiled, booping the girl on the nose.

"Morgan! Oh my…Morgan! I'm so sorry….she just slipped out, it's way past her bedtime anyway…she was just so excited to see you both." Pepper said as she ran across the lawn.

"What did we say about telling someone you're going to leave the house?" Pepper asked Morgan as Morgan buried her face into Jillian. "But mommy…FRIDAY can do that." Morgan said with a sigh. Pepper just rolled her eyes.

It was pretty awkward for that first night. The last time that Harley and Jillian had been at the Stark lake house…it did not end very well. She was very scared that this would be a repeat or that the tension would be too high and they'd both just have to leave and not come to the funeral at all.

However, Pepper seemed very happy to have them. Maybe it was that having them there made her feel a little more comfortable. Maybe they reminded her of Tony…Jillian had never been able to shake some of Tony's mannerisms and Harley loves to talk about everything that has to do with science and engineering.

The night went as well it could possibly go. They set up in the guest room which had two queen sized beds and a en-suite bathroom. She tries not to think about the fact that before this room was designated as a guest room it was for Harley and Jillian.

They talk about Science, engineering, technology and math until Harley falls asleep and she rolls over and tries to do the same. She slept a lot right after the second fight with Thanos, but hasn't slept since. She's surprised to find how easily she falls asleep in a house that haunts her. That is, until she starts to dream.

— There is meaning on earth, I am happy —

"I'm pregnant." Pepper says as she and Tony smile at their two other kids. Harley smiles wide at first. "Really, do you know the gender yet? When are they going to be born?"

Jillian smiles, but it's pained, given the circumstances, she can hardly be blamed if she's not really super excited to bring a "real" Stark into the family. "That's great, guys."

Throughout the dinner, the conversation barley strays from the new baby. Pepper talks about how they built the lake house when they found out, how she already has plans for the nursery. How they had already picked out a name and all this other new baby stuff.

Jillian can't help, but feel guilty and sad when they talk so excitedly about this. She'd never been able to give them any of this. She'd always been so cold to Pepper, and she'd never really had a deep conversation with Tony. She had begun to understand once Peter entered the picture that she and Harley had been the training exercises.

They learned from all of their mistakes from her and were now ready to be the "perfect" parents. Tony may have gotten lucky during the blip, he only lost Peter. Everyone else who was close to him had survived. He still had an entire support system to fall back on.

But what about her? What about Harley? Harley already had almost no one at home, which is why she promised him that he could come over whenever he wanted to her townhouse and stay as long as he needed.

She had lost almost everything. She lost Bucky, Peter, Yelena, Wanda, T'Challa, and many more. Just like Harley she was already just hanging on by a thread and her entire support system was uprooted. There was so much happening around the world.

And sure, maybe all the awful things that happened following Thanos' snap weren't the best topics for family dinner, but she would have loved to hear something other than both of them talking about how much they loved a baby that wasn't even born yet.

Harley was usually a pretty hungry kid so when he stopped eating half way through the dinner, she could tell he was sharing her sentiment about how over the top this all was. "So that's why we're going to name them Morgan, it's a nice, gender-neutral name, and it's Pepper's-"

"Yes, Tony, we understand, you're going to name your new kid, Morgan, because you've wanted to name a kid this for years, and you never got to pick out our names. We got the message. " She cuts him off, trying and failing to keep the venom out of her voice.

"You both have great names too! We just didn't get to pick them out…at no fault of your own, of course." Pepper tries to amend. "Yeah, I'm starting to think that you guys never actually wanted us…we were just charity cases, we were tools, shields and cop outs…" Jillian pinches the bridge of her nose…something she'd picked up from Tony.

"Hey, we loved you, even in the circumstances that you both came to us under." Tony tries to defend. "So you admit, that we were burdens to you. Let's not forget we both saved your life. We would have been perfectly fine without you, but you insisted on throwing your copious amounts of money at our problems." Jillian stands up from the table.

"We were the chore that you felt like you had to do. Did you still love me when you disowned me? Huh? What about where you ghosted Harley for years? You only just accept us back into your little "family" after your new charity project disappeared? Then you invite us to dinner and spend the whole time talking about your soon to be baby and how much you love them, and all that you're going to do for them and on behalf of them…almost all things that you didn't get to do with us." She finishes dramatically.

"Have fun with your new baby, I hope they're everything you've ever dreamed of having in a kid." She turns on her heel and starts to walk out of the house, even as Tony and Pepper protest. She makes her way towards the woods and Harley runs after her a few minutes later.

"You're right!" He yells, to let her know that it's just him. "That was unwarranted and felt targeted even if it wasn't." He says, panting. "Relax, I would never leave you because of something Tony and Pepper said or did. None of that was your fault, okay?" She puts her hand on his shoulder.

He's older now, but she still remembers the first time they met. That little kid had come running up to her and asking to see her magic. She still sees that kid when she looks at him now. "I'm sorry, I didn't keep in touch. I was…"

"On the run…yeah, I know. I understand, I'm just glad that you're here now." He smiles, his eyes glimmering even in the low light of the late evening. "And I'm not going anywhere."

— Past Algerbrook road, I'm over the bridge —

She wakes up to Harley shaking her shoulder, "are you okay? You were shaking and whimpering a little…" he says, and she can tell, by just how bright the loft is, that it's mid morning.

"Sorry, yeah, I'm okay…" she sits up, groggily, other than the dream she slept pretty well. "Did you have a bad dream?" He asks, sitting on her bed.

"Yeah, but it wasn't real." She lies with a smile. "Yeah…the funeral starts at two, right?" He clarifies. "Yes, I believe so, if plans have not changed." She confirms.

"Did Pepper say we needed to help with the set up?" He asks, titling his head. "No, we're good to just wait around and greet guests." She tells him, pulling her legs in to sit criss-crossed.

"Who all is coming?" He asks, glancing out the window. "Pretty much anyone you can imagine." She smiles, knowing that the prospect of meeting more avengers would excite him, even at 19.

"Cool." He shrugs, with a smirk on his face. She laughs and elbows him, lightly. "You know you're looking forward to it."

He hesitates before responding, "is it wrong to be a little excited for a funeral?" She thinks about the implications of his question for a moment. "I think it's okay to be excited to go to a funeral that has a bunch of Avengers at it."

"It just feels weird…I don't know how to feel. I guess, I was a little confused as to why I was even invited." He explains, looking down at the floorboards. "Well, Pepper invited people that Tony never really got alone with…and you were quite a big part of his life…if you ask me, at least." She smiles, moving closer to him.

— A minute from home, but I feel so far from it —

People started to arrive throughout the morning, and she was nervous to say the very least. She'd gotten a shower and tried her hair, but couldn't decide what style to have it in. She'd tried having it down, but didn't like it, so she put it up in a bun, but didn't like that either. She finally settled on a braided crown, which had taken about an hour.

She liked how the colored streaks weaved throughout the braids. She tried not to think about the meaning behind the streaks. Tried to push away the memory that's been haunting her since Tony died. One from her life before…

Her black dress felt so out of character for her. She usually loves to wear a little bit of black, but an all black dress feels so strange on her. She would have much rather worn a pant suit, but once again, she really wanted to make Pepper happy.

You're dying, Sapphire hissed in her mind.

"Yeah, I'm very much aware, thanks." She whispers, squeezing her eyes shut as a migraine takes hold all at once.

You remember how to fix it, don't you? Or shall I remind you?

"I got it…please, just leave me alone…I have things to do before I fix this." She whimpers, gripping the counter until her knuckles turn white.

I'm impatient, you know that. I will not let you die.

"I'm not going to die, I just want to go to my father's funeral." She sinks to the floor, clutching her head.

You made my lover suffer, why should I not return the favor?

"I'm sorry! Okay, I'm different now…." her eyes open against her will, they're glowing dark blue.

I'm not so sure you are…

She faints, falling the rest of the way to the bathroom floor, her head and heart pound in sync as a vision takes hold.

— The death of my dog, the stretch of my skin —

"Jillian? Hey, it's almost time for the funeral and you haven't come down at all yet…I just wanted to make sure you're okay…if you really don't wanna go…I'd always run away with you again…" Harley laughs awkwardly as he stands outside of their shared bathroom.

When he doesn't get an answer he starts to worry. "Can you hear me? FRIDAY is the bathroom sound proof?" Harley asks, glancing towards the ceiling. "No Mr. Keener, sounds are muffled throughout the walls of the house, but you should still be able to hear through them." FRIDAY answers dutifully.

Harley sighs, and knocks again. "She is…in there, right?" Harley asks FRIDAY. "Yes, Mr. Keener." Harley frowns, "okay…are you mad at me?" He asks, frowning at the door. No response. "Okay…I'm uh…I'll be back."

— It's all washing over me, I'm angry again —

"Mr. Rogers, uh sir?" Steve turns around at the sound of the timid voice. It almost sounds like Peter, but when the kid in front of him looks older and taller than he remembers the spider-kid. "Yes?" Steve asks, raising en eyebrow.

"You know Jillian Stark, right?" He asks, standing as tall as his 5'9 frame will allow. "Well," Steve starts to say before Bucky interrupts him, "that's more of my territory."

"Right! She used to talk about both of you, but more so you, Bucky." Harley smiles at them. "I'm Bucky and he's Mr. Rogers, huh?" Bucky elbows Steve with a laugh. "I was trying to be polite…but I've never really cared for that anyway." Harley crosses his arms and looks off to the lake.

"Well, did you come for an autograph?" Steve asks with a smirk. "No, I knew Tony Stark if I wanted an autograph from you I could've gotten it when I was 9 not 19…I came because Jillian's supposed to be helping Happy with the um…wreath, but I think she's mad at me and she won't come out of the bathroom." Harley explains.

"Fair enough…" Steve huffs as Bucky eyes him, then Bucky looks back to Harley looking slightly concerned. "No answer at all?" He clarifies. "Yes, and FRIDAY said she is definitely in the bathroom." Harley nods, looking back to the house.

"Stark would roll in his grave if I went into his lake house…" Bucky says, looking at Steve, pleadingly. "I'm not much better, but if you really want me to go…" Bucky nods at Steve's request.

"Show me." He tells Harley.

— The things that I lost here, the people I knew —

Steve is surprised when the teenager leads him all the way to the top of the lake house and pushes open a door with the names Harley and Jillian written on a whiteboard. The room is a little messy on one side and perfectly organized on the other. It's easy to tell which side is Jillian's.

He also notices a black and white photo on the dresser, it's of Jillian and a younger boy. Steve's eyes flicker back to the teenager in front of him. The picture could definitely be of him and Jillian about 10 years ago. "This is your room?" Steve asks, noticing how Harley grabs a chap-stick from the messy side of the room.

"Yes, you jealous?" Harley smirks, and Steve can't help but smile at how confident the boy is compared to Peter. He definitely has the essence of what a "mini Tony Stark" would be like.

He knocks on the bathroom door again. "Jillian, if you don't wanna talk to me, I got Steve. I know you'd rather um…maybe Bucky or…dead people, but since they're dead and Bucky killed your grandparents-not that you care-I got Steve." He rambles.

— They got me surrounded for a mile or two —

"Just take a deep breath, Ruby. I will handle the hard part for you." Lavender says in an eerily calm tone. "The pain will go away?" Ember asks with a slight whimper as she holds her head. "All of it." Lavender promises.

"Okay…you can do it…just make the pain stop!" With that Ember's body is surrounded by red smoke and Lavender's form appears. The only difference is that instead of an all purple theme, this time the theme is red. Her hair is still lavender, but there are red streaks all throughout.

Her outfit is mostly red with hints of purple, and her eyes are pure red. She takes the scythe from where it leans against the wall. It answers to her for the first time. She quirks an evil smile.

"Ruby?" A man calls. "One moment." Lavender mocks Ruby's voice enough for it to be unnoticeable to Ruby's estranged older brother. She answers the door with a "she never liked it when you called her that." The brother gapes at her, looking terrified.

"Where is she?" He asks after a moment of shock. "She is me." Lavender swings the scythe and it stabs him in the heart, he falls to the ground gasping.

"Spent your entire life disrespecting women, and calling them witches, how ironic is it that not only is a woman the last thing you'll ever see, I'm also what you might call a witch." Lavender says, kneeling next to him. He seethes, his mouth foaming "you will burn in hell." He spits at her. "As will you." She says easily with a smile, before standing up.

She walks a few feet away before turning into a dragon and flying off.

…

…

…

"My turn." Sapphire growls.

— The car's in reverse, I'm gripping the wheel —

Jillian wakes up with a slight start. She stills when she senses other presences nearby. "You alright, Jill?" She hears coming from behind the bathroom door. She scrambles up quickly and quietly, swaying slightly as she regains her balance.

"I know that the last time something sort of like this happened you-" she cuts him off by opening the door. Harley stands behind Steve, ironically the only two people in the world who call her Jill sometimes.

"I'm fine, sorry…" her internal clock tells her that she is late for arranging the wreath. "I gotta go…nice talking to you both." She darts to the bedroom door before either of them can get a word in.

"She's hiding something." Harley states a few moments after her disappearance. "When is she not?" Steve asks, squinting his eyebrows at the doorway as if it would give him all the answers he was looking for.

"She's hiding something big." Harley corrects with a slight sigh. Steve turns to the kid, who seems a lot more sad and a lot less confident than before.

"She'll come around, kid. You two are close?" Steve places a hand on his shoulder. "She's the closest thing I have to an older sister." Harley says, this time his eyes flickering up to the old picture.

He walks over and picks it up. "2013, our first time meeting. Pepper said we were made to be siblings. Tony never adopted me because I do have a mom, but Jillian was my sister, all the same." He says, handing Steve the picture.

He looks at it for a few moments, he's never seen Jillian smile that brightly. "Did she still talk to you after she ran away?" Steve asks him, handing the photo back.

"We were pen pals during that time, every time she'd move she would write me the new address, she'd write out new recipes from the places she went and things she'd learn. Would always teach me how to say "Hi, how are you?" In the languages of the countries she visited. She never gave up on me, even when she left the Starks." Harley explains, smiling.

"What's your name, kid?" Steve asks him. "Harley Keener." He says, glancing up at Steve.

"Keep your head up, kid."

— I'm back between villages and everything's still —

"Thought you weren't coming…" Happy says when Jillian finally emerges from the lake house's back door. "It takes time to look this pretty." She smirks, trying to brush it off. "I thought it was effortless for you…" Happy counters, and he does have a point. She basically has natural makeup and the ability to do her hair with a wave of her hand.

As she thinks of a response, he turns to the wreath options. This was supposed to be a surprise for Pepper. It was actually Harley's idea, he had been so enchanted by the arc reactor when he was younger, that he remembered it 10 years later.

They didn't have to do much, it already had the sappy message Pepper had inscribed in it years before, "Proof Tony Stark has a heart." This was, of course the first version of the arc reactor. The one Tony created in the cave in Afghanistan.

Happy showed her the arrangements he'd tried to put together. He rambled about how anyone would be better at this job than him and how he has no idea what most of the flowers are called. "Hey, I'll figure it out." She tells him with a smile.

"Alright, but don't be late. We need this in the lake in an hour." He tells her, nudging her shoulder before walking back around the house.

There are so many flowers surrounding her. She immediately spots lavender and can't help but start with that. "Lavender, so you can take a part of me with you." She says as she lays it down. They may not have had a smooth relationship, but he was still her father and she was still his daughter…all the way to the end.

She weaves complementary flowers into the wreath next, thinking about their meanings and trying to create a sort of poem with the flowers. Words she couldn't find, but the flowers could. "Yarrow for your courage in battle." She lays the white flowers down next.

"Marigolds, a Mexican tradition, symbolizing the day of the dead." The orange petals come next, and she's starting to tear up a little. "Polemonium, representing the journey to the afterlife." The dark blue flowers complement the others nicely.

"Hypercium, to protect you from demons and evil spirits." They're yellow and sometimes considered a weed, but pretty nonetheless.

"Alyssum and Azalea, so that this world will never forget what you did for them." The purple and pink colors add to the array of flowers. She's fully crying by the time she lays the last flowers down. "Purple hyacinths…because I'm sorry and I forgive you."

She finishes the wreath with a few other additions and tries to get all of her tears out of her system before the funeral. She places one hand gently on the wreath. "Father…" it's not a question this time, because she knows that there will be no answer. 

Chapter Text

The funeral is beautiful and it's interesting to see just how many of Tony's friends and some of his enemies appeared. She stands with Harley as promised, while Morgan and Pepper stand in the front. She manages to not cry the entire time, but only barley.

When the funeral is over, she knows she has other things to do. She makes her way up to her room and tells Harley that she'll give him a ride to the airport as soon as she's done.

She pulls her suit on, it has been repaired and slightly upgraded in Wakanda since the last fight with Thanos. The infinity stones are in a briefcase under her bed. She's the only one who knows they're there and Harley hadn't asked about the reinforced briefcase when she'd brought it in last night.

She tries very hard not to think about how she had gotten them, but she can't help it as she slides the case out from under out the bed, it's pretty heavy, and not just physically.

As people pick themselves off of the battlefield, she knows the infinity stones are her responsibility. With tears still flowing she uses her magic to take the stones out of the nano tech gauntlet. She makes sure Nebula is not watching, just in case any other Thanos tries to strike again, and she puts them in her pocket. The stones don't affect her, she is doubtful that they would even work for her or on her if she tried.

The superheros were taken to Wakanda (through Wong and Dr. Strange's portals) to be sheltered until they were well enough and had arrangements to stay somewhere else. After everyone is settled, including Peter who had taken a while to settle, she slips into one of their labs.

She works until 3 am to create a reinforced, locked and magic infused case for the stones. She slips them into each of their respective slots. Not in the order Thanos had put them in, but in the order they were meant to be in. Reality, Soul, Mind, Time, Space, and then Power.

She closed the case, and used her magic to make sure no one would ever see where the stones had been put.

— That's when my baby found me —

"You got the goods?" Bucky asks with a smirk, as she finds her way to them in the New York woods. They're about two miles away from the Stark cabin. She lifts the suitcase up with a smile, "Yep, you got the other goods?" She looks at Bruce, who is setting up the mini time machine. "Yes, it's almost ready."

Steve and Sam arrive next, with Steve in his Captain America suit and a time travel wrist band. "Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" Sam asks them both. "I think we'll be alright." Jillian replies with a smile.

Bucky pulls her aside for a moment. "You're not going with him, are you?" He asks, biting his lip. "Oh…no, of course not. When I get back, we'll figure it all out and I won't be more than a day older than I am now." The promise is sincere. She knows what Steve plans to do, knows he's already told Bucky. She doesn't approve of it, but she also knows that she'll never be able to do that. If she can let him have that…let him have what she has always wanted, then she will.

Bucky nods and lets her walk over to Steve and Sam. She opens the case, using her magic to remove the soul, reality and power stone. She pockets the removed stones and shuts the case with the remaining ones, handing the closed case to Steve.

"Don't do anything stupid until I get back." Steve tells Bucky. Bucky is looking at Steve with puppy dog eyes and Steve is looking at him with determination.

"How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you." Bucky says with a slight sigh. They hug and she can see that Steve is sad to leave him, but she has no sympathy for him.

"Gonna miss you, buddy." She frowns at Bucky, she cannot leave him. "It's gonna be okay, Buck." Steve says confidently, but with a bittersweet expression.

Steve steps onto the platform and taps the wristband, the time suit appearing around him. She follows him, standing on his left. The irony is not lost on her, she taps her own wristband. "How long is this gonna take?" Sam asks, looking at Bruce. She had forgotten for a moment that Bucky and Sam had not yet experienced this phenomenon yet.

"For him, as long as he needs, for us, five seconds." Bruce answers. Steve has Thor's hammer to help him, Jillian doesn't need it, but she's a bit jealous. She'd never actually tried lifting it, but she has no idea whether she'd be able to lift it or not…probably not.

"Ready, guys?" Steve nods, looking nervous. She's not nervous at all, actually a little excited. Just because she's not staying in the past, doesn't mean she's not going to have a little fun before coming home.

"Alright, we'll meet you both back here, okay?" Bruce says, getting the time machine ready. "You bet." Steve says, she shoots him a slight glare. They both put on their helmets. "Going quantum in, three, two, one."

— I was three days on a drunken sin —

Asgard, 2013

By far, the hardest one physically. Which is why she's the one doing it. They had a gadget to extract it from Jane, but not one to put it back inside of her. She snags a long purple dress from one of the stores. It's beautiful and she's definitely going to keep it…for something. She puts it on and sneaks into the room where Rocket had stolen it from her.

She sees Rocket and Thor, but can't let them see her. She waits for them to leave. Jane sits up, "I feel better?" She says to herself, confused.

"I am so sorry to have to do this…" she prefaces. "Woah! Who are you?" Jane asks, backing away. "Relax, do I look like one of those big scary things that wants to steal the reality stone?" She soothes, putting her hands up.

"You can trust her, dear." Frigga says from the doorway. Jillian nods at her. "Oh…okay…" Jane stutters.

"As I was saying…I'm very sorry to have to do this, but you will get it out very soon…so." She uses her magic to pull the reality stone out of her pocket. Jane and even Frigga gasp. She focuses and uses her magic to break the stone apart and make it go back into Jane's body.

Jane lays back down again with a defeated sigh. "I'm sorry…it's for the sake of the multiverse…" She apologizes. Jane just gives her a thumbs up. She turns back to Frigga. "You really are from the future." She whispers.

"Jillian," she offers a hand for Frigga to shake. "You're the princess of-" Frigga starts to say, "yes, Saturn's moons, Thor was actually the one to make me realize that." She smiles, she has always admired this woman, despite never having actually met her.

"Well, I do hope you are a more welcoming queen than the current one." She winces, but then smiles. "I will be." She promises with a nod.

— I woke with her walls around me —

Vormir, 2014

The hardest one emotionally, once again, the reason this was her job.

She makes her way up the mountain, and can't bring herself to watch Natasha and Clint's struggle. She just waits until Clint gets the stone, then approaches the Red Skull. "If you are here for the treasure, you are a few seconds too late." He tells her.

"I'm actually here to return the treasure." He looks up at her. "Are you joking?" He asks her incredulously.

She answers by pulling the soul stone out of her pocket. "You cannot get your friend back." He says after a moment. "I didn't think I could…but I would like to bring her body back home, so we can bury her properly." She hands the stone to him.

He takes it, ponders for a moment, then says "very well." She nods, walking to the edge of the cliff. She uses her magic to lift Natasha's body up to her. She holds her for a moment, "thank you," she whispers.

She sets her down and pulls out a mini coffin. She makes the coffin a normal size with the Pym particles and then lays Nat in it. Then she shrinks them both, and gently puts it into a different pocket.

— Nothing in her room but an empty crib —

She didn't time travel to return the power stone, seeing as it was on the same day. She just quickly made her way over to its vault with her powers. She waits for Rhodey to leave, then Nebula collapses. She had changed back into her suit in Asgard, so she pulls up the parts that cover her identity and sneaks in. Waits for her to be picked up by Thanos, then quickly puts the power stone back.

She feels bad, she would have liked to save Nebula, but she can't mess with time anymore than necessary. She does make her way to where Peter Quill had been knocked out by Neblua and Rhodey. She slaps his face twice until he gasps awake. "What the hell, man?"

She takes off her disguise, figuring that this wont change anything, more than it already has.

"Sorry about that. As you were…" she stands up, and starts to walk away. "Did you take the orb?" Peter yells. "Quite the opposite actually!" She calls back and then promptly time travels away.

— And I was burning up a fever —

New York, 1946

The first thing she does in the forties is buy a dress. It's dark violet, and goes just past her knees, simple enough for a wedding. The cashier eyes her strangely. "It's the suit isn't it? I just came from a…thing." She laughs. "No, actually…the hair. I've never seen someone dye parts of their hair different colors…" he says, staring at her hair.

"Oh…I just couldn't decide." She shrugs with a smile. "Alright, then…what's the dress for?" He asks, trying to make conversation as he rings her up. "Oh, uh a friends wedding." She explains.

"Ah, this is a good wedding dress. Your makeup…is also very interesting…" they say as they hand over the bagged dress. "Oh, right, again, just thought I'd try something. Does it look bad?" She asks with a slight smile.

"No, it's quite pretty, have a nice day, ma'am." She nods and exits the store.

— I didn't care much how long I lived —

She knocks on the door of an apartment in Brooklyn. The person who opens it is someone she knows quite well. The 31 year old stares for a few seconds. "V?" He asks, voice trembling.

"Hey, Ethan!" She smiles, he looks her up and down. "You didn't steal this body, did you?" He asks quickly. "No! Of course not! It's mine, I was born in 1998 and I'm obviously from the future."

"Please tell me you didn't try and go back any further than this…" he says, his hands on his temples. "No, I'm not stupid." She frowns as he ushers her inside.

"I thought you'd be happier to see me…" she says as he shuts the door. "Of course I'm happy to meet you, but I have questions!" He exclaims.

"Alright, well, I'll answer as many as I can…" she says, taking a seat at the kitchen counter.

"Okay, um, what's your name?" He asks, wanting to know her human name. "Jillian Stark." She answers, with a smile.

"Your Howard's kid?!" Ethan asks, eyes widening. "Do the math…no, I was adopted by Howard's kid…and then, well, it's a long story." She explains briefly. "Okay…uh, what's in the bag?" He asks next, trying to imagine her a billionaire.

"A dress for the wedding, of course." She sets it on the counter and he looks inside. "You came all the way from…what, the 2020s? Just to go to Steve and Peggy's wedding?" He clarifies.

"I know…I know, just, listen, alright? You had to have figured out, by now that Steve is also from the future." It starts to click for Ethan then. "You can't stay here…" he tells her, when he does figure it out.

"I'm not, but I just thought…we will never have the ability to grow old with a spouse, get married and have kids…so why don't we give that to them and…seal their marriage for eternity?" She explains, with a question mark.

He thinks for a moment, "okay…um, I…" he trails off, staring at her hair. "You're smart…" she says as she watches him try and decipher this part.

"My God, it's a circle." He says in horror. "Precisely." She says, solemnly. "You're dying, you know that you're dying, right?" He says, fear in his voice. "Yeah, I'm working on it."

"And you're wasting time, here?" He asks. "Relax…okay, I have five months." She says, putting her hands up in a placating manner. "Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Ethan raises his voice slightly and she flinches. Damn it, stupid child abuse.

Ethan sees it too, she can tell that he knows what that means. "I'm sorry…" he apologizes, and she's not sure if he's sorry for raising his voice or sorry for her trauma. Probably both. "Don't act like your life is perfect." She sighs, glancing away as he sits down next to her.

He waits for a few moments, "The wedding is tonight." He tells her as if she doesn't already know. "Yeah, that's why I chose this spot." She tells him, still not looking up.

"Does Steve know that you're coming? Hell, does Peggy know that you're coming?" He asks, raising his eyebrows. She finally looks up at him with a smile, "Well, I figured that you could just say that I'm your date."

He flushes, "I am not letting them think I like younger girls!" He protests, glancing out the window. "Do I really look that young? You could say I'm thirty something!" She says, pretending to be offended.

"Well, how old are you?" He squints at her. "…25" she admits. "No!" He shakes his head. "And you're 31, worse age gaps have existed, especially in your time." She defends.

"Well…I guess you're right, but if anyone asks, you're thirty." He gives in and she smiles. "You got it."

— But I swear I thought I dreamed her —

"Are you nervous?" She asks Steve, leaning against the doorway. He jumps and spins around, making sure he isn't crazy. "Jillian, I told you not to do that…" Ethan sighs and shakes his head.

Steve looks between the two of them as Jillian strides into the dressing room, like she owns the place. "You…know her?" Steve asks Ethan, who nods. "We go way back." Jillian says with a slight shrug. "…he's older than me, how do you…?" Steve shakes his head, trying to figure out how they would possibly know each other.

"Don't think too hard, don't want you bursting a blood vessel on your wedding night." Ethan says, patting his shoulder. "And he's not older than you now." Jillian adds.

"He knows about the…" Steve starts to say before stopping himself. "Yes, I know about the…time travel." He says quietly.

"But why would you…?" He says, looking at Jillian. "He would have figured it out on his own." She tells him with a shrug. "And why would come here?" He asks, looking slightly offended.

"Is it a crime that I wanted to meet my best friend?" She asks, crossing her arms. "You might as well tell him the real reason why." Ethan tells her.

"Fine, but that was one of the reasons." Ethan smiles at that. "Ethan and I are…pretty similar in a way that I can't tell you about, but we have the ability to do something for you and Peggy and…since we will never get to do this ourselves, I wanted to let you both have it." She explains, dancing around the truth.

"I still don't understand…" Steve shakes his head. Ethan sighs and nods to Jillian who casually blocks the door as Ethan shows Steve his blue magic. "Oh…" Steve seems to get it now. "Yeah," Ethan says, making it go away again.

"We're gonna marry your souls." Jillian says plainly. "I don't really know what that means…but okay." He accepts it, then turns back to Jillian.

"You're not here to take me back, are you?" Steve asks, frowning. "No, we already had this conversation. It's your choice if you want to abandon Bucky and the 21st century." She says bluntly, she's not going to make him stay in her time, but she's also not going to let him leave without making sure he knows that she thinks it's wrong. He flinches at her response, but still nods in thanks.

"And you're not here to stay, right?" He asks this time. "You and I both know I don't have the time for that." She says simply, with a slight sigh. "Would you? If you could?" He asks, mostly out of curiosity.

"No, this isn't my home, it's Ethan's." She smiles at him and he nods. "You can't coexist?" He asks, glancing between them again.

"Not for long, they'll let us have this, but nothing more." Jillian explains. "Who is they?" Steve asks, titling his head.

"Don't worry about it." Ethan smiles, patting Steve on the shoulder again. "and here I thought I'd finally found a sane and normal friend…" Steve sighs, shaking his head. "Hey! I am sane and normal." Ethan defends.

"Sure…" Steve rolls his eyes, but it's not meant to be mean. "And don't insult Bucky and Sam like that either." Jillian interjects, with a slight pout. Steve just sighs, shaking his head.

— She never asked me once about the wrong I did —

After the wedding and reception, just before the summer sun sinks beneath the surface, Ethan convinces Peggy and Steve to follow him down to the lake.

"You're not going to kill us, are you?" Peggy asks, with a laugh. "Of course not, doll!" Ethan smiles at her charmingly. Steve looks ahead and sees Jillian's figure. She'd sat in the front row, yet somehow avoided much attention during the wedding.

"Who is she?" Peggy asks, narrowing her eyes. The sunlight shifts just so, as if to frame Jillian's face. "My date, I believe you've met her, Steve!" Ethan says, smirking at Steve. "Once or twice…" he mumbles.

"What is this?" Peggy asks as she stops walking. "Relax, this is a gift." Jillian says genuinely. "Steve, did you know about this?" Peggy asks, looking anxious.

Steve hesitates, "Part of it…didn't know anything about doing this at dusk down by a lake…" he glares at Ethan briefly.

"Your glare needs some work, Rogers." Ethan says with a slight laugh. "I can assure you, no harm will be done to either of you." Jillian says kindly.

"And what exactly will happen?" Peggy asks, the only one completely in the dark. "There is a special ceremony, taught to very few, to seal a marriage for eternity." Ethan explains.

"And what does this ceremony involve?" Steve asks, frowning. "Your pants may get a little wet," Jillian shrugs. "A little? You're not going to dunk us or anything…" Steve says, glancing at the lake.

"No! No, we'll be doing all the waterworks, you just have to trust us…and more importantly, each other." Ethan answers, with a nod. Steve and Peggy glance at each other, speaking with just their eyes to each other. "What could go wrong?" Peggy asks with a smile.

Steve is thinking "everything" loud enough for Jillian to hear it and she holds in a laugh, but instead he says, "yeah…" with a bit of hesitation.

"Alright then!" Jillian wades into the shallow part of the water, the water seems to be about a foot deep where she is standing. Jillian extends a hand to Peggy. "Oh, me first?" She asks, in surprise.

"Yes!" Jillian smiles at her, and Peggy accepts it, Jillian hears her think "what harm can such a small woman do?" Jillian pulls her gently into the water, and holds onto her gently as Steve and Ethan get in next to them.

Jillian and Ethan lean against each other, holding Steve and Peggy respectively, at arms length. They have a short conversation with the beasts living inside of them. Jillian's conversation goes something like this:

I need you to do this for me.

When have I ever done anything for you?

Exactly, you owe me one.

Mmmm

Don't be stubborn and do not try to take over the world.

Fine.

And Ethan's goes like this:

Please, just do this. I'll never ask anything of you ever again.

Really? That's quite a promise.

Yes, I'll leave you alone for as long as you want me too!

A year?

Sure, a year

Alright then.

Play nice.

Once both of them have finished conversing with their "evil" halves, they both turn into their angel forms. If they can even be called that anymore. Purple wings sprout from Jillian's back and blue ones sprout from Ethan's. Ethan's face is covered in blue glittery markings, his pupils narrow and his irises turn dark blue. Jillian's permanent purple markings become more intense, and her irises turn purple.

Lavender stares at Peggy with a blank look, some form of remembrance and gentleness comes over her and she cringes.

"Ms. Carter," Lavender regards her. "It's Rogers now." She corrects politely. Lavender turns her head slightly into Sky, confirming she's not alone. She presses her wings against his. There's a thrill that rushes through her as she thinks about what could happen if they worked together…she's weak though, by her standards…she needs…rage courses through her veins when she realizes that Jillian's put the power stone just out of her reach.

"Everything alright?" Steve asks, his voice shaking slightly. "What does this mean?" Peggy gapes at them. Lavender thinks about what to tell her. "It's all a part of the process." She smiles, Jillian took a risk for a reason, she trusts Lavender.

"V, we'll talk after, let's just do this for them." Sky says rigidly. "Yep." Lavender replies coolly. She uses her magic to create an arch, coming up from the water, it sparkles, projecting the sunset colors. Sky does the same with his blue magic and it meets the purple arch in the middle.

They both step further out to the lake, and let Steve and Peggy hold onto each other instead. More magic starts to accompany the arch, purple and blue mix dramatically. "Y'all gonna kiss?" Sky asks with a smirk. Peggy and Steve smile and lean into each other, embracing and making out as magic surrounds them.

They end the show with blue and purple fireworks, and Steve and Peggy smile at the show. "Thank you, Ethan." Steve says genuinely. Sky gives a tight smile, Lavender pouts. "And thank you, Jillian." Steve says, noticing her sour expression.

"You're welcome." Lavender says with no emotion. Steve eyes her warily. "Out of the lake, everyone!" Sky says with fake cheer.

"I'm not really sure what just happened, but throughout the past few years I have learned to just go with things like this!" Peggy smiles. "Talk to you later, Ethan!" Steve says as they walk away.

As soon as Steve and Peggy are out of earshot Lavender and Sky turn to each other. "So, what are you feeling? World domination? Or arson, to start easy, of course." Lavender says, smirking.

"I think you need to go home." Sky says, Lavender recognizes it for what it is, he's turning back, and fast. The wings dissolve seconds later and the blue face markings disappear. "If this is what 30 brings, I don't want it, you're weak!" She spits.

Ethan's face softens, "Sky and I have an agreement." Ethan says calmly. "Pathetic" She backs away from him, and he takes her arm gently. "Lavender…you have to let Jillian go home." Ethan reasons gently. She shakes her head, frowning.

"Imagine how much power you will have when she takes that crown." Ethan says, hoping Jillian will be able to handle Lavender after the transformation. "When we're no longer your problem, I see how it is…" Lavender scoffs.

"I have faith in Jillian…and you." He adds, "did you make a promise before she let you take over?" He raises an eyebrow. She frowns, "yeah…"

"She's part of you…" Ethan says. "I will not be swayed with your puny human emotional speech!" She protests, Ethan sighs. "Have fun dying in five months…" he turns away and starts to walk away.

"Fine!" Lavender yells and he whips around just in time to catch Jillian as her powers sink away. "Hey! Are you okay?" He asks, kneeling next to her. "…fine." Jillian says shakily.

"You're really sick…" he says gently, it's almost completely dark outside now. "It's alright," she smiles at him. "Lavender helps sometimes…" she adds as he helps her stand.

"Is it your heart? Your lungs maybe?" Ethan asks as if he can fix her if he knows whats wrong. "It's everything…but it comes and goes."

"Well, you can't go back like this." He decides, picking her up abruptly. "Woah…where are you taking me?" She asks, trying to focus on him as her vision spins from the sudden movement.

"My apartment." He answers. "Yeah, okay…" she nods.

— When my time comes around —

She wakes up 15 hours after falling asleep in Ethan's arms, in his spare room, feeling completely fine. She walks into the common area and finds Ethan writing in a journal. "You journal?" She asks, a little surprised.

"You don't?" He looks up, amused. "Well, not usually…" she smiles at him. "Feeling better?" He asks, setting the journal and pen down. "Yeah, much." She admits.

"Stay for some soup?" He offers, kindly. "Oh, I can't…have it." She smiles awkwardly. "Can't have soup?" Ethan asks.

"I can really only eat fruit and sometimes vegetables, and drink water." She tells him. "You're not human." He nods in realization.

"Only half of me is, and it's not a very strong half." She nods, with a sigh. "I can see that, well, I can offer you an apple?" Ethan says.

"That'd be great."

— Lay me gently in the cold dark earth —

London, 2016

"Hey," Jillian says, sitting next to the old man. "You're here to take me back to 2023." He says as she sits down. "I am, but if you need more time…I made some extra Pym particles, I can meet you there instead?" She offers.

"I think I'd like that," Steve nods. Jillian stands up, "Jillian…" Steve says and she turns. "Yeah?" She asks, seeing his somber face. "I'd like to speak with you." Jillian sits back down, and looks him in the eyes. "About what?" She asks, with a smile.

"That night, Ethan said you stayed the night. You just stayed the night, yes?" Steve asks, putting the odd pieces of time travel together. "Yes," she answers easily.

"You're pretty sick, aren't you?" He says, with a frown. "Yeah, but it's nothing I can't fix." She assures him with a nod. "I need you to take care of Bucky, you can't die…not like your younger self had said." He tears up a little.

"I promise you, I will take care of Bucky and everything else you leave behind." She says sternly. "Thank you," he shakes her hand. "I'll see you in five years, gramps." She smirks and he shakes his head as she time travels away.

— No grave can hold my body down —

New York, 2023

"Where's Steve?" Sam asks as soon as she's successfully back in the right year. "He'll be along shortly." Jillian says easily.

Bucky nods at her knowingly. "Where is he, he should be with you! What did you do? Bruce, what happened?" Sam asks angrily.

"Sam." Bucky interrupts, looking over to a nearby bench, where Steve is sitting. Sam turns, stares in shock for a moment before turning back to Bucky. "Go on…" Bucky tells him and Sam walks over to talk with Steve.

She turns to Bucky, "everything went okay?" Bucky asks her. "It went great." She tells him. "How long were you gone?" Bucky asks, anxiously.

"About 24 hours, I'd say, no more." She answers honestly. Bucky nods, pulling her into a hug, and whispering "thank you" a couple times.

Jillian knows he won't be letting go anytime soon.

— I'll crawl home to her —

Bonus scene:

"You must be Natasha's sister." Jillian says warmly as if they aren't standing over Natasha's grave. Yelena turns to face her and nods in recognition. "And you're Jillian, you brought her-uhm, you brought her…" Yelena breaks off and Jillian pulls her into a quick and gentle hug.

"So you were there." Yelena turns serious as she pulls away. "When Natasha died? Oh, no…it was very complicated, I came afterwards to retrieve her body, so you and I could have closure." She says, telling most of the truth.

Yelena nods, "you're sure…" she squints at her, trying to detect a lie. "I'm positive." She confirms.

"I shouldn't trust you, Natasha's told me far too much…but…I do?" Yelena says, after a moment. "I have that effect on people sometimes." Jillian says truthfully.

"I don't appreciate it…but I am thankful for this, so…" Yelena turns away. "Listen, I would kill whoever was responsible for Natasha's death too." Jillian says with a laugh.

"Yeah…" Jillian leaves Natasha some lavender on her grave, then walks away. She doesn't see Valentina at all…but if she had, she probably would have saved herself a lot of trouble.

Chapter Text

It's been four months since the world was saved from Thanos. Four months since Natasha and Tony died, and three months since she returned the infinity stones…

The logical thing to do when you're dying and know how to fix it is to, well, fix it, but here she was waiting until the very last moment. She's not really sure why…

Maybe she doesn't feel like she's ready. Maybe she doesn't want to leave Bucky. Maybe he's begged her to stay just one more night for the past three months.Maybe it's because she's really scared to fail…and to succeed.

Maybe it's all of the above.

She tells Bucky she has business to attend in New York, the lie about needing to settle something for Stark Industries slides off her tongue so easily, it scares her. Bucky accepts it, she's a good liar, even in her weakened state.

Five hours later she's standing on top of the One World Trade Center, a war in her mind, a blank expression on her face.

You're not going to jump...are you? Sapphire seems confused as she inches closer to the edge.

"Wouldn't be the first time I faked my own death." She sighs, tilting her head.

Tallest building in America, that's a bit of a show off, don't you think?

"Yeah, that's kind of the point."

What exactly is the plan here?

"You're about to find out" She turns around and steps off the building, she doesn't even remember hitting the ground.

— Oh, Devil man, what have you done? —

"Bucky?!" Sam vigorously knocks on the door of the Annapolis townhouse. Bucky opens the door, and he looks…fine? "Yeah?" Bucky asks, seeing Sam's worried face.

"I know you were pretty close with her…" Sam starts to say. "With who?" Bucky asks, squinting his eyes.

"Jillian." Sam answers, as if it's obvious. "Yeah, I AM close with her." He nods, beginning to feel anxious. "Oh…Buck, you didn't hear?" Sam looks sad, he pushes his way inside. He's never actually been inside their townhouse.

"Hear what, Sam?" Bucky demands, slamming the door.

"She died, Bucky…" Sam says solemnly. "No…no, I just saw her this morning, she can't be dead, Sam. She can't, she can't die." Bucky says, his heart feels like it's sank to it's stomach, yet, somehow also beating loudly in his head.

"Turn on the news, Buck…" Sam says quietly. Bucky starts a whisper chant of "no" and other protests as Sam turns on the TV.

"Jillian Stark, Tony Stark's oldest adoptive daughter is dead at the age of 26. Just four months after her father's sacrifice, it seems she committed suicide, jumping off the tallest building in America." The news reporter says.

"Turn it off." Bucky says, his expression is blank. "Buck…" Sam placates.

"I said turn it off, Sam." Bucky yells, and Sam hits the off button on the remote.

"She's been dead before…" Bucky mutters. "There's a body, Buck, they called it." Sam reasons gently.

"You don't understand, Sam…her heart doesn't need to beat as much as ours does…she doesn't even need to breath, really…she has to be alive Sam." Bucky tears up, backing away from Sam.

"I'm so sorry, Buck…" Sam apologizes gently, raising his hands as if to say 'don't shoot the messenger, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.'

"Get out, Sam…" Bucky says, shaking his head. "Bucky, I'm worried about you! This is a lot to lose in five months! Even she couldn't handle it and that girl was a beast." Sam says instead of leaving.

"Stop talking about her in the past tense! She's fine, she's alive, I'm fine, you need to leave." Bucky yells, crying more. "I'm not leaving, Buck." Sam says, determined.

Bucky shakes his head, and collapses onto the sofa…"she's not dead…I just saw her this morning…"

"I'm so sorry, Bucky."

— The fire don't sing and the rain don't come —

Sapphire wakes up in a body bag, she tears it open with ease, she's laying on a table in a morgue. "This was the plan." She realizes with a sigh. She stands, stretches, Jillian's body is stiff, probably from being "dead" for an hour or two.

She makes her way through the morgue, eventually finding her way to the surface. "Ma'am, who are you? You don't have the authorization to be here." A man says.

She summons Jillian's sword and throws it at him, he collapses to the ground and the sword comes back to her. "Does anyone else have any protests?" She asks, with an evil smirk.

The other people in the lobby are shocked and silent, but they shake their heads. "This must be where you dissect the superheroes…Vision…ring any bells?" They cower as she speaks.

"No matter, I have no ties with the cyborg, and you've left this body in tact, for that I thank you and will spare the rest of you, I am sorry about your friend, I hope you understand", with that she leaves.

— Tore the spirit from everyone —

It doesn't take Sapphire long to find New York, the classic target for any super villain, but a good option. Her hair flows black, purple and blue as she hovers above the people of New York.

"Alright, there is only one thing I want and it's Doctor Strange, hand him over and the rest of you go free." Her loud booming voice can be heard throughout the entirety of New York City.

When she is forced to wait for the wizard, she gets antsy and crushes a few passers by with her magic.

"Alright! You've made your point, Jillian!" Doctor Strange says when he arrives a few moments later, she comes down to his level.

"I don't know if you've noticed…but I am not Jillian." Sapphire says with a huff. "Alright, then…what is your name and what do you want from me?" He asks her.

"You have one of the many things I want…you're merely the first item on my shopping list." She answers wryly. "I don't have the time stone anymore."

"No, but your artifact seems to work just fine without it." She answered with a shrug, eyeing the amulet.

"You never did tell me your name." He realizes. "Unimportant." She lunges for the necklace.

"You don't wanna do that." He says, fighting back. "I think I do." She replies swiftly.

"This will be a fight you cannot win." He warns, blasting her with some magic. "You think?" She questions deflecting his magic and having it hit him back.

"A fair fight, then." He amends, sending another magic attack. "No, I think you will find quite quickly, Stephen, that I don't like to lose." Her counter attack is much stronger and does much more damage.

— Now just look at you crying —

A few months earlier.

"It's gonna be okay, kid." Jillian says as Peter finally starts to stop crying. "He…it was…just like Uncle Ben." His voice breaks. "I know, I know, it's gonna be alright."

Peter wipes his tears on a tissue and dabs at his nose. "How are you so put together?" He asks with a slight laugh. "I'll probably fall apart later, if I'm honest, but right now, I'm here to help you, so you tell me, what do you need from me, right now?" She asks gently.

"I'm not exactly sure…maybe just a distraction, for now, would be nice…" Peter says, looking at her with puppy dog eyes. "Sure…"

Jillian knows that realistically, when he said he wanted a distraction he had meant watching a show or being told a story, but she had some other priorities…after the incident with the time travel and Steve…and her younger self…

"Would you like to learn how to use my sword?" She asks after a moment of thinking. She really doesn't want to put this on him, but she doesn't know who else to put it on…

Sapphire would most definitely have her eyes on New York, she would no doubt want to collect artifacts and the Eye of Armageto is a hot comedy…seeing as Sapphire had met Doctor Strange on Titian five years ago. Giving Doctor Strange access to her sword would be reckless and risky, not to mention she kind of hates him…

Not many other people live in New York after Tony sold Avengers Tower, Bucky might end up staying in Brooklyn, but she would never let Bucky be the one to do it…then there's Sam, but he'd either be in DC or Louisiana, which is a bit too far from New York for her comfort.

She doubts Bruce and Thor will be staying in America for very long, Clint will want to be with his family, there's really not a lot of options. Still, she does regret choosing a 16 year old who just lost his mentor…

"Woah, are you sure? I thought no one else could use it?" Peter is automatically excited and in awe. "Well, that is the case usually, but I can let you give it a go." She smirks at his curiosity.

"That would be so cool!" Peter exclaims, as she takes it out of its sleeve that had been resting against the bed. "Okay…put your hands out and close your eyes." She instructs him gently.

He complies, "You're not going to kill me, are you?" He laughs. "No, this all starts with a trust exercise and you and I have a lot of trust between us." She says honestly.

"Okay," he nods. Jillian whispers a few lines of spells in an ancient Saturnian language. She places the sword in his hands, and holds it there as it tries to phase through him. A few more lines of the old spell and the sword settles in his hands.

She lets go and it stays. "Can I open my eyes now?" Peter whispers excitedly. "Yes, it worked." She smiles as he opens his eyes and smiles back at her.

"So, what can I do with it?" Peter asks, shifting slightly. "Well, everything you can do with a regular sword, stabbing, slicing, those kinds of things. Then there's the magic elements…" she trails off as she looks at his admiration.

"Teach me everything?" He asks politely. "I will teach as much as I think you can handle."

— Oh, Devil man, what do you want? —

"Doctor Strange! Are you alright?" Spider-Man lands next to the bleeding wizard. "I've been better…you need to get out of here, she's far too strong." Doctor Strange says, shaking his head at Peter.

"What does she want?" Peter asks, ignoring the doctor's other words. "She has what she wants, shes going to leave and go get other artifacts on earth. She took the Eye of Armegto." Doctor Strange says shakily as Peter offers him a hand.

"I think I know how to stop her." Peter says with determination. "Listen, we are very lucky that Jillian has never decided to turn against humanity, but whoever she is…she definitely does not care if we live or die." Doctor Strange counters solemnly.

"No, I understand all of that…Jillian's sword will answer to me and she's using it, right? If I can get the sword from her, I think we have a chance." Peter explains optimistically.

"How do you know the sword will answer to you?" Doctor Strange asks, squinting at him. "Jillian binded it to me a few months ago, if you can just distract her I can call it, and we'll have more of an even playing field."

— The land bows down to a strange man's God —

"Hey! Our fight's not over!" Doctor Strange calls to Sapphire who turns around angrily. "I have my fancy necklace, I need nothing more from you and this city." She says simply.

Doctor Strange blasts her with his orange magic and she blocks it with her own blue magic. "I'm warning you, do not piss me off." She seethes, pushing back.

Doctor Strange starts to hit her harder with his magic and she growls in response, pushing back with her magic. "Humans and their stubbornness." She resists, with disgust.

She notices the sword slips out of her reach and she grasps for it, but Doctor Strange prevents her from taking it back with his magic. "No!" She screams, starting to use some of Jillian's magic to help her. Jillian's magic is stronger and Doctor Strange is easily overthrown with both of their magic, but the sword is gone.

"Sorry, Miss, but that doesn't belong to you." She whips her head around to see one of Jillian's brothers holding her sword. She searches Jillian's memories and finds the memory of Jillian transferring partial ownership to the kid.

"She…ugh." She uses her magic to get away from the kid, trying to take the sword back and failing. Her gun won't listen to her in this form, unless she can pick up a regular one from an officer. The kid swings after her with his stupid spider webs.

"Stay in your lane" she blasts him with her magic and he blocks it with the sword. She can't really achieve anything without a weapon, her magic is great, but now she only has the Eye of Armegto, and she's not exactly sure how to use it without the infinity stone. She hovers above a building and tries to think of how to get the sword back.

Then, all of a sudden she's being suffocated by the sorcerer's magic. She yells in frustration as she pushes back, all of her focus is on the sorcerer hovering above her and she doesn't notice the spider-kid sneaking up on her.

She screams as Jillian's sword pierces through her, it's painful and usually an attack like this from a regular sword wouldn't do much, she could just heal herself. This, however, was Jillian's sword, one of the six special artifacts that bind to its owners and are loyal to a fault.

Her magic stops as she collapses. The sorcerer above her doesn't stop blasting her with magic, which is pretty stupid, it's not doing anything…

— Burn the graves of everyone —

Jillian wakes up in pain, a lot of pain, as in, magic induced pain. "This is new…" she mutters in response to being blasted with magic upon waking up from the dead. She's laying on hard concrete, and that's about everything she can gather so far.

The magic stops and she's still in pain, she opens her eyes and squints against the sun, her sword is sticking out of her abdomen. "Ah…" she says, remembering what had just happened. An orange streak slowly joins the others in her hair, and she sighs.

The only way to break the curse is to use one of the ancient artifacts, her sword being one of them. Which is why she binded it to Peter a few months ago…speaking of, he drops next to her.

"Jillian?!" He exclaims, trying to do something for her wound. "It's okay…I'm alright…you did good." She tells him, reaching up a bloody hand to rest over his.

"I stabbed you!" He says, starting to cry. "Please don't cry…it's alright, it was the only way and I'm sorry it had to be you." She says gently, using her clean hand to wipe his tears. She hears someone land next to her and turns her head to see a very angry looking Doctor Strange.

He reaches out on open hand, as if she should know what he wants. "She's bleeding out! Give her a second!" Peter scolds, before turning his attention back to Jillian.

"How bad was it? How long has it been? And did she kill anyone?" Jillian asks rapidly, all three things she desperately needs to orient herself.

"For New York? On a scale of 1-10, with Thanos being a 10 and a mugging being a 1…I'd say it was probably a four. She wasn't focused on harming a bunch of people, she just wanted that." Peter points to the amulet she's still wearing.

"And I'd say it's been about four hours since you took a tumble off of the One World Trade Center." He says, glancing at the horizon.

"Okay…I can work with that." She nods, grimacing as she takes stock of her injuries. You know, some of the artifacts are a lot easier to repair injuries from than others…and this one…pretty bad." She sighs, before pulling the sword out in one bloody swoop.

Peter cringes and looks away as the blood drips off of it, almost as if it's trying to repel the blood…it does have a holy background. She places a hand on the hole in her stomach and her healing powers start to work quickly.

"You're gonna be okay, right? I can't lose you too!" Peter says as her healing powers work. "Yeah, surprisingly I have survived worse than a sword through the stomach." She laughs awkwardly.

Peter sighs in relief and relaxes a little beside her. "Kid…you can't be worrying about my life, that's my job." She sits up as her healing powers finish. Peter flinches when she sits up, as if she's made of glass. "Really, I'm okay, if you were there every time I've died you know this is nothing." She reassures him.

Doctor Strange clears his throat and she rolls her eyes before getting to her feet and turning towards him. "You are annoying." She says, plainly, ripping the amulet off and handing it to him. "Next time a psychopath takes over your body, maybe make sure you're in the middle of nowhere and can't hurt anyone." He tells her before turning on his heel and flying away. Jillian can't help, but think briefly that Quantico, Virginia (where her body had been taken) is pretty remote…

"I'm so sorry, Peter." Jillian says with a sigh as she turns back to him. "I don't know what to say to that." Peter says solemnly. "You don't have to ever talk to me again." She tells him with a sad nod.

"No, I can't lose you…but I don't want to talk to you for a while." He says with a tight sigh. "That's perfectly reasonable, you have my number, and I'll be there if you ever need me again." She tells him confidently.

"Thank you, Jillian." He nods, before swinging away.

— Now just look at you crying —

She returns home with nothing on her person, but torn, blood stained clothes, and her sword. She doesn't have her key, she didn't bring it, knowing it would end up at a morgue and probably be confiscated by the government.

She knocks on her own door sheepishly, if no one answers she's probably going to break in…the door swings open and a very confused looking Sam answers the door.

"Moved in already? I've only been dead for a few hours." She makes a joke, which is her first mistake. The door is slammed on her face. "Right…"

She waits for a few seconds, "it's my house, Sam! I pay all the bills, I bought it with hard earned cash, and paid it off just a few months ago when my father died!" She yells, she knows her voice is loud enough to carry through the walls.

She doesn't want to break in if Sam and possibly others are in there. She sighs, looking down. "I'd really like a shower…kinda covered in blood over here…" she tries, her voice breaking slightly. She settles on the steps, and cries into her knees for a while. She doesn't know where else she's supposed to go.

The door opens a little over an hour later, she turns, tears still flowing to see a baffled looking Bucky. She stands quickly. "Look-" she starts to say, but is cut off by Bucky wrapping her in a tight hug.

"Sam said you died, I didn't believe it." He tells her as he squeezes her, feeling her heart beat against his chest. "You know me…" she mutters, slightly happily.

He pulls back, looking at her tears. "What happened?" He asks, crying a little himself. "Can I come in?" She asks, with a teary laugh.

"Yes! Of course, it's your house, damn it…Sam doesn't know you like I do, I think he thought you were some sort of shape shifter." Bucky says, ushering her inside. "Where is he?" Jillian asks, looking around the downstairs.

"We were both upstairs, he insisted on staying with me, didn't leave me alone for hours, but eventually he had to use the bathroom." Bucky explains and she hears a toilet flush upstairs.

Jillian stills, she doesn't think she will do well with being told to get out of her own house after everything she's been through…

"Bucky?" Sam calls through the house. Jillian closes her eyes, pressing her back against the wall. He comes down the stairs and sees Bucky in the entry way. "What are you doing? I told you to stay upstairs." Sam says, frustrated.

"I'm an adult, Sam." Bucky deadpans. "Yeah, one who just lost everything." Sam tries to reason. "You invaded my house, and won't leave me alone." Bucky says angrily.

"Calm down, Buck. I was just worried about you." Sam says, more gently, "Are you gonna let me off the stairs?" Sam asks after a moment.

"Uh…no, I don't think I will." Bucky says awkwardly. "Bucky." Sam says sternly. He pushes back Bucky and enters the kitchen, seeing Jillian instantly.

He's quiet as she presses herself against the wall, covering her face with her hands, her shoulders rocking, the only sign that she's sobbing.

"Say something only Jillian would know." He demands from her. "Sam, I have died so many times before." She cries, moving her hands to reveal her red, puffy face.

He tilts his head. "That drug, the government gave me a few times, is designed to kill me, every time they give it to me, I die. You've seen me like that, you may not have seen it the other times, but how could you believe that I'm possibly dead from jumping off a building when I've survived far worse?" She asks, shaking her head.

"I…" he doesn't know what to say.

"I know you don't care, but they removed my organs when I was a baby, just to see if I could survive it, and I did, I'm right here, I always survive, that's the sick joke the universe likes to play on me. I've been shot, I've been stabbed, I've been dropped from the sky, I've been to space with no helmet, I've been shocked into hour long seizures, I've drowned and been in explosions." She rambles, frustratingly.

"I didn't know…" Sam mumbles. "Because no one ever does, no one ever remembers. You know, right before you guys showed up to the battle with Thanos I was trapped under an exploded and flooding building. I was pinned under debris and the water was rising, and there was nothing I could do, but take it…and I still fought in that battle minutes later." She drives home the point.

"Listen, I want to apologize, to you…but also to Bucky. I locked you out of your house and Bucky, I am really sorry I did all of this for nothing." Sam says genuinely.

"I know…Steve told you to make sure I was okay, I get it…" Bucky says with a nod. "Sam, I forgive you, but respectfully, get out of my house." Jillian says sternly.

"Yeah, that's fair…"

— Just look at you crying —

A few days later.

Sapphire's been quiet. Dead quiet. Too quiet…it's honestly worse than the past few months when she was constantly tormented by her. She's told Bucky everything…everything…almost everything, she's not told him about one thing.

Her chest hurts. Everyday. Her shoulder hurts too, actually she feels pretty awful, overall. She's nauseous, sweaty, sweaty, unable to sleep, and it takes more effort than usual to breathe.

She has about a month before…she dies, God knows how she'll die…she doesn't want to find out. She also doesn't want to leave Bucky after everything she's just put him through, but also, if she dies his damage will be a lot worse.

She thinks the best way to do this is to tell him everything first…so she does.

"Bucky…I have to leave again…." She starts the conversation bluntly. "V, the last time you left, you jumped off a building and were declared legally dead." Bucky says just as bluntly.

"I know, that won't happen this time." She promises, wholeheartedly. Bucky sighs, "and where do you need to go?" He asks her. "Home." She answers quickly.

"Is that not home?" Bucky asks her, tilting his head. "No…well, it probably should be considered my home, it's the place where I feel the most safe and you're here…but there's another place, very far from here…I have ties there that go really far back." She explains.

"When will you be back?" Bucky asks anxiously. "I…I'm not sure…it will probably be at least two months…" she stutters quietly. Bucky's eyes widen.

"I know…I'm sorry, I'm trying to be honest. Best case scenario it's less than that…I just…I have to do this and I don't want a repeat of last time." She back tracks.

"By last time, you mean a couple days ago?" Bucky asks, slightly angry. Part of her wants to say 'I'm dying! If I don't leave now, I'll never come back.' But she can't say that…so she takes a deep breathe.

"I'm sorry Bucky, you can stay with Sam if you want, or stay here, maybe rent a place, whatever you need, but I can't stay…" She says shakily, she feels nauseous just having this conversation.

"Why?! Why do you have to leave?" Bucky yells, getting upset. She flinches and swallows thickly, rubbing at her sore shoulder. "I can't explain that, right now." She says, shaking her head.

Bucky is quiet for a few moments, "You look awful…" he comments. "Yeah, I know…I'm working on that." She admits slightly.

"I thought you couldn't get sick…" he seems more anxious than angry now. "I can't…I'm not, but I'll level with you a little…when you're my species…you have an expiration date…and if you don't fix it…" She trails off, letting him fill in the blanks.

"No…" his voice breaks. "It's okay…I promise I can fix it…" she tells him, touching his flesh arm gently. "I can't lose you too!" He cries, pulling her into a hug. "You won't, I'll figure it out…I promise…it will all be okay." She promises.

— Just look at you crying —

She leaves the next morning.

Rocket and Nebula seem to like her so she calls the guardians of the galaxy and hopes they're not too busy to give her a ride. Unfortunately, it's Peter Quill who picks up the phone…and he's not too fond of her.

"Who is this?" He asks upon answering. She rolls her eyes, "me."

"Who?" He asks, and she sighs heavily. "Jillian Stark." She answers, crossing her arms. "I'm sorry, who?" He asks again, and this time her patience is gone. "Listen, hand the phone to Thor or Rocket or Nebula, okay?" She grumbles, and he seems reluctant, but Rocket's sarcastic voice comes over the speakers a few seconds later.

"Hey, purpley." Rocket says, and it sounds mean, but she knows this is endearing for him. "Hey, you guys aren't too busy to give me a ride, are you?" She asks, with a slight smirk even though he can't see her.

"Well, I don't know…where are you looking to go?" He asks her. "Any of Saturn's moons will do." She says, knowing that if she can get to one of them, she has access to all of them.

"Yeah, I think we can arrange that." He says, before an argument breaks out over the phone, just out of her reach. A few moments later a booming Asgardian accent is speaking to her.

"Princess! Of course, we'll give you a ride home!" Thor says happily. She smiles, "Thank you,"

"Where will we be picking you up?" Nebula asks in her usual tone. "Wherever is easiest for you." She says honestly.

"Can you be in New Asgard within a few hours?" Thor asks her. "Yeah, I'll be there, and thanks again, guys!"

— You came with the thunder and unseen death —

She boards the Milano a few minutes after noon, with Thor briefly speaking with Valkyrie. Peter Quill still seems salty about this, but with Rocket, Nebula, and Thor on her side she's feeling pretty good.

Mantis is very kind to her and asks many questions about her life and her powers with Drax making dark jokes and asking a few himself. Groot is moody, but seems to not have a negative opinion of her, she doesn't think he is aware that she speaks Groot.

She can feel the tension between everyone, though…it's not the same without Gamora, she hopes that the new Gamora can join them for at least one escapade. It may not be the same, but it's better than the alternative…

For an average human spacecraft, it would take about 3 years and 2 months to reach Saturn. Thankfully, the rest of the galaxy has figured out a way to make space travel much faster.

There are jumps all around the galaxy which will take you through up to millions of kilometers in space. It only takes about a week to travel all the way there. They drop her off on Titan.

"Princess, I wish you luck…" Thor tells her as she steps off the Milano with her sword in a sleeve on her back, and a sleek combat suit on. "I appreciate that…" she says, taking a deep breath as she looks out at the ruined landscape.

"I am Groot" She smiles at his words. "I am Groot…" she agrees and his eyes widen. "You speak Groot…?" Peter Quill looks at her, confused.

"I am a woman with many surprises." She smiles at him, raising an eyebrow.

"Very well, we enjoy your company, please do let us know if you need anything else on your journey." Nebula says, looking at her with Nebula's version of fondness.

"I'm alright, and I will reach out if I need anything else, thank you all, you've been very hospital." She says honestly and with a nod, she starts to trek through the Titan wreckage.

— And dawn lit shivered when you painted it red —

It takes her a few hours to reach the castle, she's not in too much of a hurry, and traveling with her current weakness is much tougher than traveling with the strength she had when she was here 6 years ago.

The castle is more of a maze than she remembers, but she eventually finds the hall with the stained glass windows and tapestry's had she had the last time and knows she is on the right path.

Sapphire is waiting for her in the throne room. Sapphire gives her a nod, "I was almost worried you wouldn't show." It becomes apparent to Jillian at that very moment that their connection had already been broken.

That is why there had been no snarky comments in the past two weeks, also the reason there were no visions, she was not aware of Jillian's actions and could not communicate with her ever since she'd gotten the orange streak in her hair.

"So…we just fight?" Jillian asks after a moment. "Not quite…I am under the impression that you are not fully aware of the weight all of this bears…and before you take my life and the crown…I need you to see all that you have done." Sapphire starts to say.

"You've seen the carnage of what you've caused, you've even remembered some of your mistakes in your past life…but you don't know all of our stories…you don't know our names or our families…you need to see how you've ruined our lives." She says, looking at Jillian with scrutiny.

"…okay, but you can't make me see that anymore…why wait?" Jillian asks, titling her head. "Well, I have one last thing to teach you…you now control what you see…you get to have access to everything, if you can learn how to utilize it…" Sapphire answers, staring at her expectantly.

"And how do I do that?" She asks, glancing around. Try." Sapphire says simply.

When Jillian struggles to trigger a vision for her self, Sapphire growls angrily,"You've put as all through Hell." She yells and Jillian flinches, but keeps her eyes closed and tries to focus on what she does know about this place's history.

"Open your eyes!" Sapphire yells, but she doesn't mean Jillian's physical eyes, she means Lavender's spiritual eyes. And it works, her head snaps up as her eyes turn purple and a vision, clear as day comes to her.