Chapter Text
The lounge was buzzing in that uneven way hospital gatherings always did—half celebration, half exhaustion, everyone laughing a little too loud because if they didn’t, the weight of the week would crush them. Soju bottles lined the table, chicken bones piling up on plates, and the air smelled of grease and alcohol and too many bodies pressed into too small a space.
Yang Jae-won sat wedged between two interns, nursing his third glass, trying to look relaxed. He wasn’t. Across the table, Baek Kang-hyuk was being… well, Baek Kang-hyuk. Unflappable. Detached in that maddening way that made him magnetic without even trying. He leaned back in his chair, one arm draped lazily across the backrest, expression flat as ever while everyone else buzzed around him like moths to a flame. And of course, she was there—a nurse, cheeks pink from drink, laughter chiming as she leaned closer and closer, her hand landing on his sleeve like it belonged there.
Jaewon felt his jaw tighten. The glass in his hand trembled with how hard he gripped it. He took another gulp, too fast, coughing as the soju burned down his throat.
Kang-hyuk didn’t even notice. Or maybe he did, and didn’t care. His only response to her touch was a blink, a dry little quip that had her giggling again. He wasn’t flirting back, not really. He never did. He just sat there, deadpan, letting the attention wash over him like he was carved from stone. But that didn’t matter. It was enough to make Jaewon’s chest ache, hot and sharp, a weight that sat behind his ribs and pressed harder with every sip he took.
He hated this. He hated her hand on Kang-hyuk’s sleeve. He hated the way Kang-hyuk let it stay there.
He hated how much he cared.
The laughter at the table blurred. Someone was telling a story, something about a botched intubation, and the room erupted in groans, but Jaewon wasn’t listening. His gaze kept sliding back, over and over, like a reflex. Kang-hyuk’s face, unreadable as always. His long fingers tapping once against the table before curling around his own untouched glass. His shoulders broad under the thin fabric of his shirt.
Jaewon swallowed hard, heat rising in his throat. The alcohol only sharpened it, stripped away the polite mask he usually wore around his professor. Every time her laughter rang, something inside him wanted to lash out, to tear her hand away, to shout at Kang-hyuk for being so goddamn calm about it.
Instead, he poured himself another glass.
“You’re drinking fast, Dr. Yang,” one of the interns teased, nudging him.
“Mm,” Jaewon muttered, forcing a smile. “Building tolerance.”
The lie slid out too easily. He was a terrible liar, everyone knew that, but nobody cared enough to call him on it. Good.
His gaze flicked up again—just in time to see the nurse leaning in closer, brushing her shoulder against Kang-hyuk’s arm. Jaewon’s chest clenched, a sour twist in his stomach. He slammed back the drink in his hand before he even thought about it, throat burning, vision blurring just a little more.
Kang-hyuk glanced up at the sound, his eyes meeting Jaewon’s across the table. For a second, just a second, Jaewon swore those dark eyes lingered. Then Kang-hyuk looked away, deadpan as ever, reaching for his glass at last.
Jaewon wanted to scream.
Instead, he laughed too loudly at nothing, poured himself another shot, and told himself it didn’t matter. Told himself he didn’t care. Told himself a hundred lies he didn’t believe, until his face felt hot and his chest felt hollow and his hands wouldn’t stop shaking around the glass.
And all the while, the nurse’s hand stayed exactly where it was.
The party thinned the way all hospital parties did—one by one, people trickled out, called back to shifts, or collapsed into taxis with clumsy waves. By the end, only a few stragglers remained, slouched over half-empty bottles. The nurse had left earlier, cheeks flushed, tossing Kang-hyuk one last bright smile as she went.
Jaewon hated how much relief he felt watching her go. Hated how pathetic it made him.
He was swaying when he tried to stand, the world tilting dangerously. Kang-hyuk was there instantly, steady as a wall, an arm sliding around his waist. “Careful, No.1. You can’t stitch a patient if you knock yourself out on the pavement.”
Jaewon scoffed, words slurred. “I can walk. I’m not helpless.”
“You’re drunk,” Kang-hyuk replied, matter-of-fact, guiding him out into the cool night air. “And sloppy drunks trip on cracks in the sidewalk.”
Jaewon laughed, sharp and humorless. “Better than tripping over my own feelings, right?”
Kang-hyuk’s brows furrowed, but he didn’t respond, just tightened his grip as they walked. Jaewon leaned heavier against him than he wanted to admit, his chest warm from more than the alcohol. The city’s neon lights blurred around them, cars hissing past on wet asphalt, the night air sharp in his lungs.
It all should’ve been quiet, safe. But the words bubbling in his throat wouldn’t stay down.
“Bet you wish it was her hanging off your arm instead of me,” Jaewon muttered, voice low but venomous.
Kang-hyuk stopped in his tracks. Turned his head sharply. “What?”
“You heard me,” Jaewon snapped, though it came out broken, shaky. He laughed again, bitter. “She touches you once and I want to—god, I want to rip her hand off. You don’t even notice, do you? You sit there, all perfect and calm, while I’m burning alive like some idiot—”
His voice cracked. The words collapsed into a ragged breath, his head dropping forward. “Pathetic. I’m so fucking pathetic.”
Silence stretched between them, heavy, the hum of the city filling it. Then Kang-hyuk’s hand came up, firm around Jaewon’s wrist, stopping him in place. His voice was low, sharp, but shaking under the steel.
“Don’t ever call yourself that.”
Jaewon blinked up at him, vision swimming. Kang-hyuk’s face was close in the neon glow, shadows carving sharp lines into his jaw, eyes darker than the night. He looked furious and desperate all at once, and for the first time Jaewon couldn’t read him.
“You think I don’t see you?” Kang-hyuk’s voice dropped even lower, rough around the edges. “You think I don’t notice?”
Jaewon’s lips parted, but no sound came out. His chest felt like it was caving in.
Kang-hyuk shook his head, muttering something under his breath, then pulled Jaewon tighter against his side, resuming their slow walk. His grip didn’t loosen, not once, until they reached Jaewon’s apartment.
Inside, Kang-hyuk sat him down on the couch, kneeling with that gruff efficiency as he tugged at Jaewon’s shoes. He set a glass of water on the table, muttering, “Drink this before you pass out.”
Jaewon stared down at him, throat thick, heart hammering. The alcohol stripped him bare, left him with nothing but the ache he’d tried to drown.
“You don’t get it,” he whispered, voice shaking. “I’m in love with you. And it hurts. It hurts every second you don’t see me.”
Kang-hyuk’s hands froze, still clutching the laces of Jaewon’s shoes. Slowly, his head lifted. Their eyes locked, the silence sharp enough to slice through both of them.
The apartment was quiet except for the hum of the fridge and Jaewon’s unsteady breathing. The city’s glow slid through the blinds, striping Kang-hyuk’s face with bars of pale light. He was still crouched at Jaewon’s feet, his fingers frozen on the laces of his shoes, as if the confession had rooted him to the floor.
“I’m in love with you,” Jaewon whispered again, voice cracked and trembling. “And it hurts every second you don’t see me.”
Kang-hyuk straightened slowly, his hands falling to his thighs. For once his face was unguarded—something raw flickered there, something Jaewon had never seen. He stepped closer, the air between them tightening like a string pulled taut.
“You think I don’t see you?” Kang-hyuk’s voice was low, almost a growl. “No.1… Jae-won… I’ve been trying not to look at you. Because if I start, I won’t stop.”
Jaewon’s breath hitched. The alcohol blurred the edges of his vision but not his heartbeat, hammering wild in his chest. “Then look at me now,” he murmured. “Please.”
Kang-hyuk reached out, but stopped inches from his face. His fingers trembled in the air. “You’re drunk,” he said hoarsely. “If I touch you, if I take you like this, you might regret it.”
Jaewon swayed forward, catching Kang-hyuk’s wrist, pressing it to his own cheek. “I won’t.” His eyes shone with unshed tears. “I’ve wanted this for months. Even drunk, I know what I’m saying. I’m begging you, Kang-hyuk. Please.”
Kang-hyuk swallowed hard. “Tell me again. Do you want me to touch you?”
“Yes,” Jaewon whispered, voice breaking. “Please.”
Still, Kang-hyuk hesitated, his thumb stroking Jaewon’s jaw, his eyes dark and searching. “If I kiss you now,” he murmured, “it won’t be gentle. It won’t be pretend. You’ll feel everything I’ve been holding back. Do you understand?”
Jaewon’s answer was a trembling nod, his lips parting. “Show me.”
The dam broke.
Kang-hyuk surged forward, catching Jaewon’s face in his hands, his mouth claiming his with a low, ragged sound. The kiss started hesitant, testing, their lips brushing, a shiver running through both of them like electricity. Jaewon gasped against his mouth, a soft “ahhh—” spilling out before Kang-hyuk deepened it, tongue sliding past his lips, tasting the salt of soju and desperation.
Jaewon clutched at Kang-hyuk’s shirt, pulling him closer until there was no space left between them. The kiss turned hungrier, breath mingling, teeth grazing, tongues tangling as if they were trying to drink each other down. Every brush of Kang-hyuk’s lips was like wings against his skin, fluttering, then catching fire.
Kang-hyuk broke the kiss just long enough to press his forehead to Jaewon’s, panting. “Still yes?”
Jaewon nodded frantically, his hands sliding up to tangle in Kang-hyuk’s hair. “Yes. Yes. Please don’t stop.”
Kang-hyuk’s breath left him in a low groan, his control fraying. He kissed Jaewon again, slower but deeper, as if memorizing the shape of his mouth. His hands slid down, cupping Jaewon’s waist, pulling him flush against the hard line of his body. Jaewon moaned softly, hips jerking at the contact, the sound swallowed by Kang-hyuk’s mouth.
Everything about it was a confession—each kiss, each touch, each shuddering breath. They were restless hearts pressed together, trembling and burning, the quiet apartment heavy with the weight of everything unspoken.
Kang-hyuk’s mouth claimed his again, slower this time, a deep pull that left Jaewon dizzy. Each kiss felt like a confession, like years of restraint unraveling in the span of seconds. The scrape of Kang-hyuk’s stubble against his skin, the heat of his breath filling Jaewon’s lungs, the steady press of his chest—everything made Jaewon’s whole body tremble.
Kang-hyuk’s hands framed his face, large palms hot against his skin, thumbs brushing just under his eyes as if he wanted to soothe away every tear before it fell. His lips moved with a care that contradicted the ragged sound in his throat, kisses layered one after another, soft, lingering, then suddenly fierce enough to draw a gasp.
Jaewon’s fingers fumbled against his shirt, curling in the fabric, tugging desperately. He wanted more—needed more. “Please,” he whispered against Kang-hyuk’s mouth, voice breaking with want.
Kang-hyuk’s answer was a low groan, muffled as his lips trailed down Jaewon’s jaw to his throat. He pressed open-mouthed kisses along the line of his neck, slow, savoring, as if he was tasting every inch. Jaewon’s head tipped back, his breath hitching into a soft cry. “Ahhh—Kang-hyuk—”
The sound pulled something raw from him. Kang-hyuk bit gently at the soft skin below Jaewon’s ear, then soothed it with his tongue, murmuring in a hoarse whisper, “Say it again. Say you want this.”
“I want this,” Jaewon gasped, clutching at his shoulders, nails digging in. His chest rose and fell in sharp bursts, his whole body straining toward the heat pressed against him. “I want you.”
Kang-hyuk pulled back just enough to look at him, his dark eyes searching, burning. “You’re sure?”
“Yes,” Jaewon breathed, no hesitation now, only the trembling urgency of someone who had held it in too long.
That was all it took. Kang-hyuk captured his lips again, harder, hungrier. His hands slid down from Jaewon’s face, over his shoulders, down his arms, as if memorizing every line by touch. When they reached his waist, he tugged at the hem of his shirt, fingers slipping underneath to brush bare skin.
Jaewon shivered, the contrast of warm palms on his stomach making him gasp into Kang-hyuk’s mouth. Kang-hyuk drew the shirt higher, inch by inch, until he broke the kiss long enough to pull it over Jaewon’s head and toss it aside. The sight of him bare-chested, flushed and trembling under the city’s dim light, made Kang-hyuk’s breath stutter.
“God, Jae-won…” His voice was low, reverent. He bent, pressing kisses down Jaewon’s collarbone, along the slope of his chest, pausing to close his mouth over a nipple and suck gently.
Jaewon cried out, his back arching, hands flying to Kang-hyuk’s hair. “Nnghh—ahhh—” The sound was desperate, broken, the kind of moan that came from deep inside. His fingers tightened, pulling at dark strands as his thighs shifted restlessly on the couch.
Kang-hyuk lingered, licking, nipping, kissing lower, until Jaewon’s whole body was quivering under him. He pulled back only to tug at Jaewon’s belt, fumbling briefly before undoing it with a swift jerk. He paused again, looking up, chest heaving. “Still yes?”
Jaewon’s answer came out like a whimper. “Yes—please—don’t stop.”
The belt fell away, the button popped open, the zipper sliding down with a soft rasp. Kang-hyuk pushed the fabric down over Jaewon’s hips, baring smooth skin, the thin line of his underwear still clinging to him. The sight made his mouth go dry.
Jaewon flushed scarlet, instinctively trying to cross his arms, but Kang-hyuk caught his wrists, pinning them gently against the couch cushion. He kissed him again, soft and slow, butterfly-light at first, until Jaewon melted, his chest rising and falling in uneven gasps.
“You’re beautiful,” Kang-hyuk murmured against his lips. “So damn beautiful.”
Jaewon’s answering sound was half-sob, half-moan, as Kang-hyuk pulled his pants the rest of the way down. Now only his underwear separated them, thin fabric stretched tight over the hard outline beneath. Jaewon shuddered, exposed, trembling, eyes wide and dark with want.
Kang-hyuk leaned in, brushing his mouth over Jaewon’s once more, a soft, lingering kiss that sent shivers down both their spines. His hand cupped Jaewon’s cheek while his other slid low, fingertips tracing the waistband, teasing but not yet touching.
Jaewon’s breath caught, his hips jerking upward, the butterflies in his chest turning into fire. “Kang-hyuk…” His voice cracked on the name, pleading.
And Kang-hyuk only kissed him again, deeper, hungrier, until they were both trembling, nearly bare, teetering on the edge of no return.
Kang-hyuk’s mouth lingered on his, the kiss a slow drag that left Jaewon dizzy, his lungs burning like he’d forgotten how to breathe. Every time Kang-hyuk pulled back, just a fraction, Jaewon chased after him, desperate, lips parted, a soft whimper spilling out as if he couldn’t bear even a moment’s distance.
Their bodies pressed together, heat to heat, and the thin barrier of cloth between them felt unbearable. Kang-hyuk’s thigh slid between Jaewon’s, forcing him open, and when Jaewon instinctively ground down, the pressure against his aching length made him cry out, high and broken.
“Ahhh—hahhh—” His fingers dug into Kang-hyuk’s shoulders, clutching like he’d fall apart without something to hold on to. His hips rolled helplessly against the firm muscle of Kang-hyuk’s thigh, the friction sharp, dragging, making stars burst behind his eyelids.
Kang-hyuk groaned low in his throat, a guttural sound that vibrated through Jaewon’s chest. “Fuck, Jae-won… look at you.” His hands slid under Jaewon’s thighs, lifting him easily, until Jaewon was straddling his lap, pressed chest-to-chest, grinding directly against the hard ridge straining Kang-hyuk’s pants.
Jaewon gasped at the contact, his head falling back, lips parting. “Nnnhhh—oh god—” The words dissolved into sound as Kang-hyuk rocked up into him, their cocks rubbing through thin layers of fabric, every drag scorching hot.
The rhythm built fast, desperate—Jaewon rutting down, Kang-hyuk thrusting up to meet him, their mouths colliding again in sloppy, breathless kisses. Their tongues tangled, their teeth scraped, both of them moaning into each other’s mouths. Sweat prickled at Jaewon’s hairline, his body shuddering with every grind.
Kang-hyuk broke the kiss only to mouth down his throat, sucking hard enough to leave marks. Jaewon sobbed out his name, “Kang-hyuk—ahhhhn—” the sound raw, needy.
Then Kang-hyuk shifted, his hands sliding lower, gripping Jaewon’s ass and squeezing until Jaewon jolted, a strangled moan tearing from his chest. “I need—hahhh—I need—”
“You need me,” Kang-hyuk growled against his skin, biting at his collarbone. “Say it.”
“I need you,” Jaewon gasped, hips jerking as Kang-hyuk ground harder against him. “Please—I need you so bad.”
Kang-hyuk’s control snapped. He pushed Jaewon back onto the couch cushions, looming over him, chest heaving. His eyes raked down the flushed, trembling body beneath him—bare except for thin underwear stretched tight and damp at the front. The sight made his cock twitch painfully, his hands shaking as they slid along Jaewon’s thighs.
“Still yes?” Kang-hyuk rasped, voice hoarse.
“Yes,” Jaewon whimpered instantly, arching up into his touch. “Yes, god, don’t stop now.”
Kang-hyuk hooked his fingers into the waistband of Jaewon’s underwear, dragging it down slow, exposing inch by inch of flushed skin. Jaewon’s cock sprang free, hard and leaking, slapping lightly against his stomach. He flushed crimson, instinctively covering his face with one arm.
Kang-hyuk caught his wrist and pulled it gently away. His eyes were molten, his voice low and reverent. “Don’t hide from me. You’re perfect.”
Jaewon trembled, breath hitching, tears threatening to spill at the sheer intensity in his gaze. Then Kang-hyuk bent down, kissing the soft skin of his stomach, his hipbones, the trembling inside of his thighs. Each touch was butterfly-light, making Jaewon shiver, his body twitching at every graze of lips.
“K-Kang-hyuk—” His voice broke into a moan as Kang-hyuk’s mouth hovered lower, hot breath ghosting over him.
Kang-hyuk glanced up, their eyes locking. “Still yes?”
Jaewon’s answer was a desperate cry. “Yes! Please!”
With a guttural sound, Kang-hyuk wrapped his lips around him, tongue pressing flat against the swollen head, licking up the salt and heat. Jaewon’s whole body arched violently off the couch, a raw, startled moan ripping out of him. “AHHHhh—oh god—fuck—”
Kang-hyuk held his hips steady, sucking him slow, deep, his tongue swirling, dragging against sensitive flesh. Jaewon writhed under him, clutching the cushions, his thighs trembling uncontrollably.
Every flick of tongue, every swallow sent him spiraling. He couldn’t stop the sounds spilling out—high, broken whimpers, gasping cries of Kang-hyuk’s name. “Hahhh—ahhhhnn—nnghh—Kang-hyuk—I—nghhh I can’t—”
“You can,” Kang-hyuk murmured around him, pulling back just enough to speak, his voice wrecked. “You’re doing so good. Let me taste you, Jae-won.”
The filthy words sent Jaewon over the edge. He came with a sob, spilling hot and messy against Kang-hyuk’s tongue, thighs clamping around his head as he trembled violently.
Kang-hyuk swallowed every drop, licking him clean, his hands stroking Jaewon’s shaking thighs as if calming a patient on the table. When he pulled back, his mouth glistened, his lips swollen, his eyes dark with hunger.
Jaewon lay sprawled, chest heaving, body trembling from aftershocks. He looked up through half-lidded eyes, lips swollen, voice raw. “You’re… unreal.”
Kang-hyuk crawled up over him, kissing him deeply, letting Jaewon taste himself on his tongue. Their bodies pressed skin to skin now, both of them fever-hot, only Kang-hyuk’s pants still between them.
As Jaewon moaned into his mouth, rolling his hips up into the hard length still trapped against him, Kang-hyuk growled low, breaking the kiss just to whisper against his lips:
“Now, I need to be inside you.”