Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Watson, do you enjoy kissing?” Holmes asked, out of nowhere.

“My dear Holmes!” Watson exclaimed, startled. He had not expected to ever hear that question from Holmes.

“I am not asking to kiss you, my dear Watson,” Holmes said, giving him a quick smile. “You know very well how I feel on the matters of marriage and intercourse.”

“Yes indeed,” Watson said. Holmes had been very clear about how he felt on the matter. Watson paused before speaking. “I have not been with very many people, but I have found kissing to be enjoyable,” Watson said, eventually. He, like Holmes, was also not interested in the matters of marriage but did find the occasional intercourse enjoyable. “Why do you ask?”

Holmes was silent for a few minutes. “As you know, I was engaged to be married on our last case,” Holmes said. He hesitated before continuing. “She kissed me.”

Watson did not exactly know how to respond. While the case had technically ended as a success, Watson knew it did not go quite as well as Holmes wished. Faking an engagement had not been something Holmes had enjoyed having to do, but Watson knew Holmes would not have done it if there had been an alternate method to gaining the necessary information. “You did not enjoy it?” Watson finally asked.

Holmes shuddered. “It was quite unpleasant. I cannot understand how one could possibly enjoy smashing their mouth against someone else,” he said.

“I believe being interested in the person you are kissing is a factor in its enjoyment,” Watson replied.

Holmes made a face as if he could not possibly understand how that would make kissing more enjoyable.

“You do not need to enjoy kissing, old man,” Watson reassured. “I also enjoy intercourse, which you do not.”

“Yes indeed,” Holmes said. He strode over to where Watson was sitting on his armchair and looked at him intensely.

Watson waited patiently as Holmes observed him, unable to tell what Holmes was thinking. After a minute, Holmes relaxed and gave him another quick smile.

“I do like you, Watson, but I do not believe I would enjoy mashing our mouths together,” Holmes said.

Watson chuckled, feeling pleased at Holmes’ statement of liking him. Holmes did not often say such things aloud and Watson treasured every time he did say it. “That’s okay, old man. I do not require any kisses.”

“Good old Watson!” Holmes said. He strode back over to his own armchair and sat down. “I have received quite a few letters, my dear boy. Would you mind reading them aloud to me?”

Watson smiled at Holmes and reached over to retrieve the stack of letters from the table. “Not at all, old man,” Watson said, opening the first letter and beginning to read it aloud. Holmes may not be interested in kissing, but Watson certainly did not mind. He was quite happy with his companionship with Holmes and did not need anything more from Holmes than what he already had.