Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Jay was going insane on the pit box, and Jake could feel it; he didn’t have to see his face to know that he had the telemetry stuck in his lap and was chewing his fingernails.

“Focus, Jake. We’re losing him, we have to push,” Jay ordered. He was one of the hardest-working radio engineers in the paddock, and everyone in motorsport knew it. Jake gritted his teeth, hands locked on the steering wheel. “I can see that, Jay!- he snapped- But Sunghoon’s too close.”

In his mirrors, he could see Sunghoon’s Red Ruby #9 right on his tail, ready to overtake him if the Australian had made the slightest mistake.

“Riki will handle him. Catch up to Lee.”

“Copy.”

Jake cut the communication and focused on the race. Nine laps to go in the first Grand Prix of the season, his home race. He dove into the corner aggressively, forcing Sunghoon off his line and gaining a few meters of breathing room. Now it was up to his teammate Riki to keep Sunghoon at bay. His real target was 1.980 seconds ahead. The #1 Red Ruby shimmered like a jewel under the scorching australian sun, and its driver, Lee Heeseung, knew exactly how to exploit it. He wasn’t just a driver. He was the reigning world champion. Pole position on Saturday, perfect start, flawless record. After years honing his skills in karting, F3, and F2, Heeseung had become the model of perfection, an ideal driver capable of squeezing the best out of any car. But Jake had grown up alongside him. No one knew Heeseung’s driving style like Jake did, and the feeling was mutual. They knew each other’s strengths, weaknesses, and fears. So the eyes of the world turned to the two men who not only carried on the legendary rivalry between the Black Panthers and Red Ruby, but also shared a history steeped in friendship, resentment, and everything in between. They’d been inseparable as kids in karting. Where Heeseung went, Jake followed. The only two who could truly compete, until fame and success pulled them apart. They’d been raised on the track, taught to be teammates, but never taught how to be friends if they were rivals.

“Gap: 0.3 seconds. DRS enabled.”

Jake clenched his jaw and didn’t answer. He opened the rear wing, and within seconds he was side by side with Heeseung. The champion tried to hold the line, but couldn’t stop him.

“JAKE WINS THE AUSTRALIAN GRAND PRIX WITH ONE OF HIS MOST BEAUTIFUL OVERTAKES!” Jay’s voice exploded over the radio. In the background, the engineers were shouting, celebrating the perfect start to the season.

Jake watched the grandstands erupt into a sea of black and silver. He had finally done it, he’d won his home Grand Prix, surrounded by his people. He parked in the pit lane behind the board marked with the number one. Beside him, the Red Ruby #1 took second, and Riki’s Black Panther rolled in third. Jake didn’t waste a second. He jumped out of the car, helmet still on, and ran straight into the arms of his mechanics. Riki was already there, celebrating his first career podium in his debut race, a record. The Black Panther team couldn’t have dreamed of a better start.

¨☆◦✦◦☆¨

Heeseung was already sitting on the couches in the cool-down room, waiting for the podium ceremony to start and end as quickly as possible, eager to forget his second place finish. On the TV, highlights of the race were playing: the battle between Sunghoon and Riki, Jake’s overtake on Heeseung, and a series of minor incidents that had characterized the GP.

“Damn, I got a podium,” Riki muttered, running his long blond hair back, still in disbelief at the extraordinary result. The journalists had called the team crazy when they announced Nishimura Riki, 19 years old, as the Black Panther’s second driver for 2025, but Namjoon, the team principal, had been right. Riki was ready for an F1 seat, Riki was perfect for racing.

“Good job, kid. Welcome to Formula 1,” Heeseung said without even turning. His voice was low but sincere, while his eyes stayed glued to the race that had just unfolded. Riki nodded respectfully. Getting a compliment from Heeseung was rare, almost impossible, but Jake could read between the lines: Riki had earned it. And Heeseung knew talent when he saw it, even when it hurt to admit. Of course, Jake received no acknowledgment, there were never words between him and Heeseung. Their shared podiums over the years had been marked by silence; no compliments, no small talk. They communicated only through the fire of their interviews, leaving their managers in near constant chaos.

The Melbourne podium was spectacular. High above the straight, under a clear sky, the crowd roared. It was a sea of black and silver celebrating one of their own. Jake climbed the top step, heart hammering, trophy held high. Below, he saw Jay and Sakura, the track engineers, smiling and cheering along with the crowd. Riki popped a bottle of champagne, starting the classic—and well earned—champagne shower alongside the other two podium finishers. In that moment, there was no rivalry between Jake and Heeseung. They were just two young men letting Riki savor his first of many podiums.

¨☆◦✦◦☆¨

Jake, still soaked with champagne, entered the interview area. A swarm of journalists and Jungwon, his manager, or -as Jay liked to call him- “the lion tamer”, were waiting. Jungwon was the only one who could handle the media, the reporters, even the temper of almost every team member. Without him, Jake would have accumulated more polemic articles than championship points. Jake was grateful for his work. Next to Jungwon, Yujin, Red Ruby’s PR manager, maintained a polite smile while keeping her attention on Heeseung, who was still taking end-of-race photos, his face shadowed and unreadable. Jake adjusted his Black Panthers cap and took a seat beside Riki, still visibly euphoric. Watching him, Jake understood why the mechanics called Riki a duckling turned tiger on the track, there was no better description. Wonyoung, one of the most famous journalist from Sky, stepped forward.

“Jake, first Grand Prix of the season, won at home. How was your day?”

“Incredible. I knew the crowd would give me a boost, but winning in front of them… it was insane. I couldn’t have asked for a better start.”

“The highlight was your overtake on Heeseung. Did you think last year’s rivalry was over, or should we expect another fiery season between you two?” Wonyoung asked, precise and respectful.

“I knew we’d clash again, even if not this soon. It’s not over. It can’t be.-He paused briefly- I think I speak for him too: we’re both going for the championship, and as long as the other’s in the way, there will be competition.”

A murmur ran through the journalists. Jungwon nodded subtly, satisfied. The answer was sharp enough to make wave, but safe enough not to cause trouble.

“And the goal this year is constructors’ championship or drivers’ title?”

Jake tilted his head, the showman grin returning. “The team always comes first. But why settle for one, when we can win both? Right?” Some laughs, flashes of cameras. Riki looked amused. Heeseung, nearby, watched Jake silently, arms crossed, eyes like daggers, but he would wait his turn, resigned to being second for now. Wonyoung turned to Heeseung. “Lee Heeseung, it was a hard-fought race. Did you expect such a fiery start to the season?” Heeseung nodded slowly.

“Yes. Jaeyun and I are fire and gasoline on track. It’s nothing new. We’ve been fighting for years. Nothing surprising.”

“And what went wrong to end up second?” asked Yeonjun, a local journalist. Heeseung leaned forward, elbows on the table.

“Nothing. I drove perfectly until the last laps. If I have to credit the Black Panthers, it’s their teamwork. Riki freed Jaeyun and covered his back. I couldn't count on teamwork”

“Your words suggest resentment toward Red Ruby’s second driver, Park Sunghoon. Are the rumors about tension in the team true?”

Yujin moved to intervene, but Heeseung beat her to it. “There’s no tensione because Sunghoon knows his place. Always has. But if he ever forgets… then yes, there’ll be problems. For now, the race went as it did. We’ll talk strategy in the debrief, but next race, we play for real.”

The journalist gave a tense smile, thanking him for his response. After this, there was others questions for the drivers, and everyone was interested in the rivality of the Red Ruby's box

¨☆◦✦◦☆¨

“Lee Heeseung and Park Sunghoon: enemies sharing the Box. Battle in Red Ruby.”

The voice of the commentator still echoed in the meeting room when a tablet slammed onto the table with a dull thud. Seungcheol, as know as S.coups for everyone, sighed heavily, exasperated. His furrowed brows and throbbing temples left no doubt: he’d reached his limit. It had only been a few hours since the Australian Grand Prix ended, and despite a strong result for Red Ruby—P2 and P4—the atmosphere at headquarters was anything but celebratory. Engineers had summoned the two drivers without giving them time to remove their fireproof suits. Sunghoon sat stiffly, arms crossed, eyes fixed on Heeseung, who looked irritated as if the tension in the room were a personal annoyance.

“Really? What did I say wrong?- Heeseung snapped, sprawling in his chair.- It was his job to keep Sim behind. He’s the second driver. Don’t forget that.”

Sunghoon clenched his jaw. “Since you love reminding everyone you’re the number one, act like it! Do I have to cover your ass to let you win a GP? That’s not a world champion’s behavior.”

Yoongi, Hoseok, and Jihyo -lead engineers- stayed silent, eyes glued to telemetry, while Yujin already worked to fix the miscommunication. S.coups paced slowly, hands clasped behind his back.

“You want to teach me my job?- Heeseung growled- Who has three world titles? Me. Who hasn’t won a single GP? You. Win something, then talk to me about driving a race car.”

“Do you know why I haven’t won a GP yet?- Sunghoon shot back, standing slowly, voice low but dangerous- Because if I hadn’t had to cover your back last year, Jake would have deservedly won in Singapore. Arrogant prick.”

Sunoo, Sunghoon’s track engineer, smirked, entertained that someone had finally called Heeseung what he was - an arrogant bitch.

“You complain too much, Sunghoon. Your whining never stops. You fought against your little friend? Spoiler alert: that’s your fucking job as a second driver”

“Enough!- Yoongi thundered.- How do you expect to win the constructors’ and drivers’ titles if you can’t be in the same room for two minutes?”

Last year, they’d tried to sell the narrative of two lifelong friends, but just two interviews had shown the public: Heeseung and Sunghoon couldn’t stand each other. It had been that way since childhood, when they fought at every karting opportunity.

“If communication doesn’t improve, we’ll lose more than a Grand Prix. Jake and Riki are synchronized. They have strategy, trust. You don’t need to be best friends, but I want respect in my team.”

“I trust my car. I trust my talent. I trust myself. That’s why I won three titles. If you want to teach teamwork, do it with someone who cares, not me.” Heeseung left the room. Only the echo of his arrogance remained. S.coups said nothing for a few seconds, then turned to Sunghoon.

“You did great today and last year. You aren’t just a second driver. If you want more, you can. Otherwise I wouldn’t have taken you in my team.”

Sunghoon smiled genuinely.

¨☆◦✦◦☆¨

“WE GO HARD OR WE GO HOME, WE GON’ DO THIS ALL NIGHT LONG, WE GET FREAKY IF YOU WANT. BITCH, I’M MADONNA!”

Madonna’s voice blasted from the speakers in the Black Panther hospitality suite. The energy was electric, saturated with race adrenaline. Jake sank into a padded couch next to Jay, watching Riki lose himself in celebration on the track. Namjoon, the team principal, appeared with a beer, handing pats on the shoulder and wide smiles. There was something real about the way he moved among the team, as if he were one of them. And maybe he truly was. Black Panther was home. Family.

“Congrats, Sim. -Jay murmured, leaning against the couch and giving him a playful shove- You can still drive a car.”

Jake laughed, a bit too much thanks to the drinks of the evening. It was an exchange of jokes that had been repeated for years, since Jay was not only his track engineer, but his idol, his myth from the kart days. Park Jay: four years older, rare talent, advertising charisma and the ability to make you feel small. But there was harmony between Jay and Jake, there had always been so much that Jay had taken him under his protective wing even when Jake was just a small child with the dream of becoming a pilot. Then Jay's near-fatal accident in F2, the anxiety that Jay might not make it and the fear of losing not just an idol, but a friend, someone who believed in him when he too had no hope. And then the miracle because Jay had woken up after months, but with physical consequences that had prevented him from accessing the Olympus of motorsport, Formula 1. And so, from one day to the next, Jake no longer had an idol, he no longer had a mentor because Jay had abandoned everything and everyone. No announcement. Only silence. And then, suddenly, the return. But not on the track. In a black engineer's suit, in the Black Panther paddock. And with the desire to be his track engineer, with the desire to drive through Jake. Jake would have wanted to ask him a thousand times why with him? But he read the answer in his eyes every day: Jay believed in him. And sometimes it was the only thing that kept him standing.

“Read the latest news?” Jay asked, sipping his beer.

“What an idiot!- Jake chuckled- Jungwon complains about me all the time, but if he were his manager, he’d have quit by now.”

At the mention of Jungwon, Jay rolled his eyes. No explanation needed. Red Ruby fought a war between two drivers, but Jake faced a frustrating battle of his own between two of his closest friends. Jungwon and Jay couldn't stand each other. It was a fact. And the motivations were too many to be able to ignore them: too much age difference, too much difference in approach to formula 1, too much history not shared. For Jay, Jungwon was the symbol of everything he had learned to hate: spoiled little brat, inexperienced kids put there "by image", those who "ruin sport" with their influencer way and statements disconnected from reality. For Jungwon, Jay was a thorn in the side, difficult to manage, with the tendency to erect walls where bridges should be built.

“The kitten would’ve shot him at the first wrong word,- Jay said, laughing briefly.- Remember the mirror exercises last year? Damn psychopath.” Jungwon had made him practice masking every emotion during interviews, tired of reading weekly venomous articles about him and the team. In that world there, the poker face was a weapon, and sometimes even the only one. And so, the past seasons, while with Jay and the others of the team he practiced in the simulator or on the track, with Jungwon he practiced being a doll for the media.

“Hyung, am I winning this year?”

“Of course you are, Jake. You’ll be world champion 2025.”

In that moment, Jake wanted to believe his friend’s words. He would be the 2025 world champion.

Chapter Text

[HEESEUNG P.O.V]

Suzuka international circuit - Japan

Suzuka's circuit was one of Heeseung's favorite circuit ever. Maybe, because there, in those curves, at the age of eleven he understood that motorsport would be his future; or maybe, because he was a simply lucky bastard who, year after year, managed to win every Grand Prix. He didn't know the answer and he didn't even care at all. What he knew was that Japan was his second home, and that the warmth of the public dressed in red did nothing but encourage him to press the accelerator more than they should, so as not to disappoint them. Because that acclamation made him feel alive. Worthy of being recognized.

For four years, Lee Heeseung had left no crumbs to anyone in Japan. For the commentators it was obvious that the reigning champion would be, once again, the pole man and the winner of the japanese grand prix. It was obvious to everyone. However, when, six minutes before the end of Q2, the two Red Ruby were unexpectedly stopped in P13 and P15, unable to improve, the spirits began to heat up. The public's favorites seemed to live a hellish weekend since the Friday of free practice, when, due to the steering blockage, Heeseung found himself hitting the guardrail, forced to leave the track.

«I'll tell you again, we have to keep a set of soft for Q3 and for the race. Team's orders.» Kazuha's voice on the radio was exasperated. Heeseung sensed her frustration and, deep in his heart, he felt bad for her, but his situation was not idyllic, and at that moment the only person he could vent with was her, his track engineer. 

«Well! With these tires we can only dream the Q3 -he blurted out- The car has the wrong set up, the steering doesn't turn when cornering, the new asphalt eats the tires and you all decided to not listen to me. You make your own decisions without my prospective. You don't work like that! Now i'm turn off the radio. I have to jump in"

Once the communication was disconnected, only he and the noise of the engine remained. In the background he could see the encouragement of the fans, but his attention was all focused on the track in front of him. The Suzuka circuit, with its characteristic eight shape, began with a straight starting followed by a series of fast curves that required grip and a high aerodynamic load, which, at that time, his engineers had not given him. Then there was the famous Spoon Curve, where precision is everything to come out well in the next straight, which leads to the most iconic curve of the track: the 130R, where even a small mistake can cost time and positions. After passing the last chicane and crossing the finish line, he turned on the radio again.

¨☆◦✦◦☆¨

Hours had passed since his return to the hotel and he still hadn't opened the chat with his father; in his defense, he wanted to do it, but he had let himself be distracted. During the return trip by car he had decided to admire the cherry blossoms that were blooming at that time and that colored the city; perhaps for this reason Suzuka was one of his favorite circuits. Maybe, if it wasn't always placed in the spring, he wouldn't have liked it! Once back in his room he had decided to take another shower, this time hot, while listening to music and sitting on the floor reflecting. He had ordered room service, but he had also reserved a light evening snack with instant ramen, a little habit he had since he was a kid when he felt a lot weight on his shoulders. He had also read the opinions of his fans on social media, who once again overwhelmed him with affection and gave him the charge for the next day. Now that his Switch had discharged after all those hours of play, he knew very well that the time had come to face it.

He removed the "do not disturb" mode and was not surprised when, while all the messages were still loading, the phone rang in his hand dialing an incoming call. Lee Jaebeom was a name that weighed in motorsport: although years had passed since he was a driver, being the son of one of the "greatest" in Formula 1 carried behind him a not indifferent weight. Heeseung, in some way, would have preferred that everything had been served to him on a silver platter; that, as few said, had been put there because he was a "son of", that he was nothing more than a nepo-baby to whom his father had bought the place in the stable. But the reality was very different and everyone, and really everyone, from the team principal to the engineers to the other drivers, knew that Heeseung had struggled as much as, if not more, the others. Usually children start karting around the age of six and enter the races around eight; here, this did not apply to Heeseung who, just four years old, had found himself in the back of his house with a karting track in the garden and his father explaining to him what and how he had to do. 

Heeseung had no choice: Heeseung loved to run because it was the only thing that defined him. He had never tried other sports, he had never been able to get passionate about football, basketball or tennis; the only thing he had to do was racing. Racing after school, racing when the other neighborhood children were playing in the parks around the house, racing when it was his birthday and his only wish was to go to Disneyland, running at Christmas, at Chuseok, on New Year's Eve, with rain, with the sun, with snow. He just had to racing: racing and be the best. 

Growing up, the small circuit behind the house created by his father had turned into regional, national and then international competitions. He was only eight years and two days old when he won his first kart race, a record. But, the more he won, the more his father increased his expectations and when these were not met, all the frustration was vented on him, on a good for nothing, on a failure. It didn't matter that Heeseung, to date, was a twenty-six-year-old adult man, much stronger than his sixty-year-old father; it didn't matter that he was a three-time world champion, that he was defined by everyone as a motorsport legend, that he had achieved goals that his father, in his career, couldn't even imagine: it didn't matter at all, because while he stared at the screen of his phone you could still hear the ten-year-old boy bleeding from his nose and crying desperately on the floor of the living room of his house after coming second. 

With a slight sigh he closed his eyes, answered and placed the phone close to his ear, not too close though because he knew that his father's screams would have stunned him.

«Dad-»

«You're a disappointment, Lee Heeseung!- His father's serious tone made him shrug his shoulders. - Huh? You don't know how to drive a car anymore, huh?» Heeseung's silence did nothing but irritate the old man on the other side even more. «Tell me, incompetent, are you happy to be a disgrace to your father and your whole family?» 

«Dad, I already told the team to change the setup for tomorrow-» once again Heeseung's words were broken by the man's complaints. « I raised you to make you drive well in every kind of situation, I don't care that the setup wasn't good. It's a shame to be eliminated in Q2, it's a shame for my name, for my career.»

Heeseung rolled his eyes, aware that he couldn't do anything to him; he was safe in the privacy of his hotel room, miles away from his father. «Don't roll your eyes when you talk to me, kid, I can feel them from here.- Heeseung sat stiff on the bed- That little friend of yours did pole position and is the son of a farmer, Heeseung! What a shame»

«Jaeyun and I are no longer friends.»

«I DON'T CARE. I CARE ABOUT MY HONOR, HEESEUNG!- he shouted spacedly.- Tomorrow beat that little fly of your old friend and take that car to first place or, as it is true that my name is Lee Jaebeom, I take the first plane and come to break your legs in Japan. Was I clear?»

«Yes, Dad.»

And after this answer the father hung up the phone in his face, without even greeting him or asking him how he was. That was how their relationship had always been, or at least that's how he remembered it. His mother, sometimes, showed him nice photos where they were a real family, but Heeseung didn't remember him: he was just a baby. His only childhood memories included gloves, suits, helmets, go-karts, trophies, beatings, screams, rain, sun, heat, cold; he didn't remember moments in the family; sometimes he almost hoped not to have it.

Chapter Text

[JAKE P.O.V]

Suzuka international circuit - Japan

«And so, by mutual agreement, we decided not to see each other again. -Jungwon concluded his speech, sinking even more into the seat next to his. - What do you think about Jake?»

Now, if Jake had really listened to the whole story about how Jungwon and his fuck buddy/boyfriend Taehyun had decided to end their affair, he could have given some advice, but in reality Jake had been distracted more or less two minutes after to have sat on the van and now he was in great difficulty. 

Jake loved Jungwon, really! He was a awesome guy, he was the younger brother he had always wanted, but Jungwon had a single serious flaw that was extremely tiring to bear in some situations: he talked, talked, talked all the time. There was no topic he didn't know, there was no silence he couldn't fill, and sometimes it was a blessing because Jake hated silence, he hated listening to his thoughts. But at that moment, while they were going to the circuit for the race, Jake craved silence, quiet. He was a bit jealous of Riki, who had fallen asleep as soon as he sat in the van, at least he wouldn't have to lie to his little friend and colleague, who was looking at him in the hope of receiving an answer.

«Yes!- he exclaimed more enthusiastic than usual.- You did well!»

In front of him he could see Jay grining at that false attempt at lying he was putting in place. Sim Jaeyun knew how to drive at 300 km per hour, but he couldn't lie. He couldn't do it.

« Jake, don't lie! You can explicitly tell the kitten that we don't give a damn about who he fucks» Jay commented, sitting in the passenger seat in front. Jungwon immediately turned his gaze to the eldest and, as a big twenty-one-year-old as he was, showed him a middle finger from the mirror.

«Wow kitty, very mature. What are you doing next time? The bad tongue?» Jay was almost amused by that situation.

«I wasn't talking to you, go back to being a grumpy eighty-five-year-old. I'm talking to my friend.»

«I'm twenty-nine! And talk to your friend in a low voice, otherwise it's obvious that I'll give my opinion.»

Jake raised his eyes to the sky and leaned his forehead against the window of the van, ready to enjoy the bickering of the day between his two friends. He could see how Jackson, their driver, was also enojed by that situation.

«But sorry, if I bother you so much, why don't you go to another van?»

«Why don't you go in another van? I've been friends with Jake long before you! Don't they teach respect for the older ones in England?»

«In England they taught me how to beat those who bother me, do you want to see?»

«Now I beat both! I'm trying to sleep» Riki murmured, crouching against Jungwon's neck in search of warmth. Despite being almost one meter and ninety tall, Riki became pocket-friendly when he slept, and Jake found him adorable.

«Ducky, we've arrived. No nap!» Jay exclaimed opening the door. Riki snorted at the nickname.

Japan was one if the most beautiful places in the world for Jake: he already saw himself living there, once he retired, eating good food and enjoying the landscapes, but above all enjoying the flowering of cherry blossoms that, as usual, took place on the days of the Japanese GP. 

After saying goodbye to Jay and Jungwon, who should have gone to their jobs - which did not consist of arguing with each other - he and his teammate headed towards the locker room, greeting some fans with the VIP ticket and some sports journalist who called them for a small greeting to the cameras. Jake was one of the most loved drivers not only by his fans, but in general by the general public: humble background, many sacrifices, great talent, monster on the track but lamb outside the single-seater, always polite and kind to everyone and, indeed, a handsome guy despite his not too tall. Not that he was short, he had simply always had teammates taller than a few centimeters, and now he had happened to Riki, who, despite his young age, overtook him by almost a head. They were cute to look at, according to everyone: they complemented each other visually, and Jake was the ideal mentor for Riki, who was sometimes too impulsive and unreasonable.

«Ready for the race?- Jake asked while pinning his suit. Although they had the opportunity to have a single room each, both Jake and Riki were fine sharing the locker room: both needed to talk before a Grand Prix.-It's always exciting to be at home. But the first is always the most magical»

«I don't know how many of my photos and billboards I've seen these days, they were everywhere. It was crazy, incredible!- Riki exclaimed dreamily, busy fixing his hair under his cap. - My mother and sister will be there today too!»

«I remember the first race in which my parents came to look at me, I was about to throw up!- Riki looked at him confused.- No, really, I was sick, and when my mom and dad surprised me just before getting in the car I threw up in front of them. Not the best of my performances, for sure.»

Riki's laughter filled the room and Jake was happy to have taken some tension off his shoulders and made him smile. He was aware that many parents of drivers were pressing towards their children, Formula 1 was a truly elitist sport and few had the right of access. Ruthless competition and family expectations skyrocketing. Well, for almost all the other drivers it was like that, for Jake not. Jake had been lucky enough to have a family in which the only rule imposed was that 'Jake had to be happy'; his parents, despite the limited economic possibilities, had tried in every way not to break that law. When he discovered his passion for karting, at the age of seven, his father had decided to sell the farm and had reserved all the money he had for the maintenance of the kart and the registration for the various championships. 

Their humble little house in the Australian countryside had been replaced by two bedrooms in the attic of their grandparents' house, on the outskirts of Seoul; while her mother had decided to stay alone in Australia, leaning on a friend's house to live and continue her work as a tour guide in water parks. Despite the immense sacrifices, over the years, his parents always reminded him that if he ever decided not to race anymore, they would be fine. They would have committed themselves and paid for his college or whatever else his heart wanted. But Jake didn't want to do anything else: racing was all he had always wanted, there was nothing that made him feel more alive than that.  So, when at his first home GP, in Melbourne, he met his parents, the emotion did its part, and even if it was not the best of his results - placing thirteenth - the Sims celebrated him as if he were a full-made world champion. And now, years later, he was grateful for having celebrated every time he could with his parents any result obtained, from the best to the worst, because, despite all the sacrifices made, Mrs. Sim would never have been able to celebrate the last great goal: the world title. 

Jake still remembered the last months of his mother's life, even though almost three years had passed; he still remembered returning home whenever he could, even taking almost twenty-four hours of flight; he remembered the calls with his father, the desperate prayers to the doctors, the tears when, during each visit, he saw his more and more debilitated.  It didn't matter that Jake had the money: money couldn't save his mother. He still remembered how, despite being much smaller and more fragile than him, she managed to make him feel safe in every hug, to reassure him every time something was wrong. His beautiful mother knew how to read it like no one in the world would ever be able to do it. It was a Sunday morning of the Singapore Grand Prix when the news of her death arrived. Actually, Jake didn't know until late in the evening, until after the race: his first won race of his career. His father had recommended Jay and Sunghoon, his best friends, to keep the secret, to make him concentrate, and Jay and Sunghoon had done so. And when Jake came to find out, he hated them a little: they had kept the most important information of his life hidden from him. But when he found himself crying in their arms all night, he had mentally thanked them for having made him taste, for a few hours, the adrenaline of his first career victory.

Before leaving the room, he kissed his favorite necklace, a chain with his parents' two wedding rings as pendants, and hid it inside the suit. Ready to face a new Grand Prix. Ready to win in Japan.

¨☆◦✦◦☆¨

«Jake, can you hear me?» Jay's voice filled the car «loud and clear»

The 20 cars were doing the formation lap, typical of every GP, before positioning themselves on the grid and waiting for the traffic lights to turn off. They had opted for a diversified strategy in the black panthers: Jake would have started with the hard while Riki had decided to start with the soft. The choice of strategies, in the black panthers stable, was something that involved 100% the drivers and for this Jake was grateful, he wanted to be the architect of his success or his mistakes. He placed the car in P1 and turned his head towards Riki at his side, for the occasion the team had opted for a special livery, with cherry blossoms on top, to commemorate Japan and Riki's first home race. From the mirrors he could see Sunghoon's red ruby #9 positioned in 7th position, his twin red car would have started from the Pit Lane. That was an opportunity for the world championship, to increase even more the distance in the points between him and Heeseung, but Jake knew well that Heeseung would move seas and mountains to overcome the others and get at least in the top3. 

He took a deep breath, drank the last sip of water (during the race he often forgot to do so) and tightened his hands even more firmly around the steering wheel, his gaze fixed on the 5 Rolex traffic lights that would mark the start of the grand prix. The first laps in F1 are almost always the fundamental laps, in particular a good start can ensure a victory in 90% of cases. Here, just at that moment when his biggest opponent for the world championship started at a disadvantage in the pit lane and he had a huge advantage over him, Jake had made the wrong start. So much so that he found himself from 1 to 5 during the first 5 corners.  Riki, unlike him, had flown right away and was now the leader of the race, but he didn't have a huge advantage over the others, so he had to be careful. After he spended 4 laps behind Sunghoon's car, Jake can't take it anymore and so he decided to wait for the exact moment and overtake him. Sunghoon's bad vice, since he was a child, was that he left open spaces, areas of possible overtaking and in fact, even that time, he did it. He didn't close the inside and Jake, hungry for victories, managed to overcome it.  Jake and Sunghoon would have killed for each other, but on the track it was war and everything was allowed and it was a condition that they had sanctioned from the first moment they had both set foot in F1.

«Condition of the tires?» unlike many radio engineers, Jay didn't talk much, he spoke when necessary. He gave him the right information, motivated him when necessary, but he also knew when to leave him alone and let him act. It was lap 39 and although the Hard tires had greater resistance, Suzuka's new asphalt had almost completely destroyed them and this suffered in time. Riki, who started with the soft, had to stop much earlier, around lap 15 and fortunately his had been a fast pit that had not made him lose his position as a leader.

«I can keep going for a little longer. I don't think I can overtake the cars in front with this step»

«Copy»

Just before he finished his 41st lap and went through the pits, communication with Jay restarted. «Lee has already made his stop. Next round box»

«Copy»

If Heeseung had already stopped at the pits and Jay had ordered him to stop at the next lap, it meant that they were trying to respond to an overcut attempt. Although Lee Heeseung had started from the Pit Lane, with a car he had been complaining about all weekend, he had managed to climb 16 positions and find himself almost behind Jake. He activated the limiter once he entered the pit lane and pulled the car into his garage, they had opted for a soft tire. But when the usual two seconds of his pit stop passed, anxiety began to knot his stomach, a long pit stop could damage an entire race strategy.

«Long Pit Stop. When you leave the Pit Lane you will find yourself on the straight with Heeseung. You have fresh tire, don't worry» and it was true, Jake had a fresh tire, more grip, more speed, even though he knew that Heeseung wouldn't be easy for him that stretch, he would have to get rid of him soon to continue his race. Coming out of the pit lane, he removed the limiter and saw the ruby red #1 by his side, they walked like this for a few meters, neither of them with the intention of giving in. Arriving at turn 6, at S Curves, Jake pressed his foot on the accelerator, but Heeseung was a bastard who knew him all too well and so he pushed him into the gravel.

«He pushed me off»

«Drive Jake!- Jay ordered- Catch him»

And Jake didn't let himself repeat it twice. There were 10 laps left to go and maybe he wouldn't reach the podium in that race, but he wouldn't have stayed there to watch as Heeseung would win. He focused on the back of Heeseung's car, not letting him breathe even for a second, like a lion hunting prey. Once he arrived on the DRS straight and made sure he was completely attached to him, he began to overtake

«Go Jake. You have more rhythm» the engineer urged him via radio, Jake could see how Heeseung was having trouble keeping him behind. What he didn't expect, however, is that the red would turn the nose of his car to throw him completely off the track. Race over for Jake, the front wing was completely broken and the bastard now also had a free pit stop thanks to the safety car.

«Son of a bi-»

«Jake, are you okay mate?» Jay jumped worried

«I'm okay. What the fuck are his problems, he must have a penalty dude»

«The stewards are examining everything, you now go get checked»

When Jake got out of his car to go to the medical car, letting the various operators understand how to clean up the track, he only hoped that Riki would manage not to let Heeseung win.

¨☆◦✦◦☆¨

Riki had not been able to maintain his P1.

Heeseung, thanks to the practically free tire change because of the safety car, had put on a pair of new soft and had not only reached it but also exceeded it by 15 seconds, so despite the FIA penalty, Heeseung was once again the winner of the Japanese Grand Prix.

In the conference room Jake had not limited himself to comments against Heeseung, forgetting all the media training imposed by Jungwon. He was furious and would not hide it. When the winners, Riki and the two Red Ruby entered the conference room Jake left, casting an icy look at the winner who mocked him smiling at him.

«I'm not telling you it was correct.- Jay muttered. They were in his dressing room, Jay had listened to him complaining all the time, he had been his counselor even while Jake was in the shower continuing to complain - I'm just saying you can't judge him!» 

«Stop justifying him, Jay!» Jake growled drying his hair

«Ah! But come on Jake as if you had never kicked someone out on purpose. In Formula 2 Sunghoon was your favorite target and it doesn't seem to me that he is continuing to make all these stories» Jake smiled slightly at the memory, and then immediately compose himself.

«It's different. They were different times»

«It's different because you used to throw people out together and now you kick each other out? If it's not this, I don't understand what's different»

Jake groaned in frustration. «It's different! We're playing a World Cup, he can't do those bullshit anymore and if he wants to keep doing them, he won't do it with me. Next time I'll drag him with me off the track» after finishing settling in the mirror he turned to his friend. Jay was sitting on the armchair in the corner, one leg on the floor and the other lying on the table. 

From his expression he did not neglect any kind of pain or discomfort, but Jake had learned to read it in all those years. He knew that Jay stretched that leg only when he was at the limit of his strength, when, after a day of work, he was exhausted from all the weight he had put on it.

«Do you want me to take you to the car? I have to do something for a moment and then I'll come too»

Jay raised his eyebrow «What do you have to do?»

«Talk to Sunghoon, don't worry. Do you want some help?» 

«If you repeat it to me one more time I'll make you fly out of the window. -Jay intimate who with some effort got up from the chair, resting his foot on his leg with difficulty- See? Everything is okay»

«You know you should use the stick, at least when you're tired» pointed out the minor, taking his hyung under his arm to avoid making him strain too much. He knew that Jay hated being helped, but at the same time he couldn't help but do it, so he preferred to hear him complain than see him in pain.

«Do you know where you have to put the stick? - the engineer snatted- I'm fine Jake, really. If I wanted I could beat you in a marathon even though I have a limp»

«Wow great statements I see! We feel confident» Jay gave him, rightly, an affectionate slap on the back of the head. «Go talk to Sunghoon, I'll wait for you in the car.- Jay intimate- And no, I don't need you to accompany me. I'm going alone, thank you»

Jake left his area to go to his friend's box, he had actually lied to Jay. He didn't have to talk to Sunghoon, he wanted to talk to Heeseung, he wanted an apology and he wanted it right away. Fortunately, at the end of the race and with the audience out of the paddock, the controllers were much less tight and it was also not uncommon to see Jake in the Red Ruby garage, everyone knew he was there for Sunghoon. Once he found the dressing rooms of the two riders, he put the access code that Sunghoon had kindly told him months before. Unlike the Black Panthers which used personalized access passwords for each as a key, at Red Ruby's the entry password was universal and only the drivers and the team principal knew. Here, at that moment even Jake, driver of another team, was aware of it but it was okay, he and Sunghoon in case they were fired together.

He went inside Heeseung's dressing room and was not surprised when he found everything in order: the bag with the shoes in a corner, the two changes of outfits because maybe one got dirty, the pochet with perfumes/aftershave/deodorant on the cabinet in front of the mirror and the headphones and the pc positioned on the table in front of the red faux leather sofa. There was nothing else, only the essential; Heeseung carried on this love for the essential since he was a child. When the other kids, in karting and minor formulas, with whom they shared the locker room exchanged pokemon cards or comics, Heeseung was busy folding his shirts and clothes perfectly. His mother always repeated how Jake had to take an example from him because she or his grandmother wouldn't be there forever to iron his clothes, his mother was the first fan of Lee Heeseung. While he was looking at the room he didn't realize that the shower in the bathroom had stopped making noise and that's why he got scared when he heard him call.

«What are you doing here?- Heeseung was leaning against the door jamb, his red hair still wet, his chest bare and only a towel at his waist to cover him. An interesting view, of course! If it hadn't been for the asshole smile that framed his face- From what I remember you're not from this team» 

«You know perfectly well why I'm here» he thunded

«No I don't think so, enlighten me» Heeseung crossed his arms waiting for an answer from Jake, who was starting to feel incredibly hot in that room. «I want an apology»

«Excuse me for what? I served the penalty and I still won. I don't owe you any kind of apology»

«And instead yes! You kicked me out» Jake growled 

«Well? It's Formula 1 Jaeyun, if you want to win you have to be competitive. Do you remember how many times we kicked out Sunghoon in Formula 2?»

«We were kids Heeseung!»

«So what? Just because I'm 26 years old I can't throw people out anymore? New rule, someone warn the FIA. -shouted the major slamming his hand on the door - Sim Jaeyun has decided that we must no longer throw out the people on the grid, otherwise you are bad and you find him in your dressing room demanding an apology»

«Stop pretending you don't understand!- Jake yelled approaching his old friend- You know very well that what you did was not correct. You know it!» Jake looked him in the eyes. 

For the first time in nearly 3 years, they were alone in a room and they were actually talking to each other, or rather yelling at each other, but someone would call it progress compared to the silence of those years. Heeseung was always taller than him, he had always been, since they were 9 years old. His eyes were always big, like bambi's, but somehow different, more dull than he remembered them. The hair was no longer black for years now, precisely since he had become world champion for the first time, if necessary he had dyed it fiery red, in honor of the team, with the promise to keep it until someone beat him. At that moment, however, they were slightly lightened; if they had been in another situation, if they had still had some kind of relationship Jake would have reminded him to dye his hair, he would have even helped him do it as well as he helped Riki and Jungwon with the discoloration, but they no longer had that kind of relationship. They were two almost strangers and as far as he could know maybe Heeseung liked to have faded hair.

«Listen Jaeyun I'm tired, I'd like to go back to the hotel and rest and being here with you is definitely not my idea of relaxation. -Heeseung snorted moving away from Jake and breaking eye contact- I don't know what idea you have of how to win a World Cup, but this is how you do it. You play dirty if necessary. Can you go out now? I have to get dressed»

Jake turned his back and headed for the door to leave. Not before being called back.

«Oh and tell your little friend that I won't say anything to the boss because I'm nice. -Heeseung exclaimed putting on his shirt- If I still see you around here I'll tell S.Coups that Sunghoon has well decided to give our password around»

Jake closed the door without even saying bye.

Chapter Text

[JAKE P.O.V]

2014, South Korea

Jake had decided that he would never speak to Lee Heeseung again, ever. It didn't matter that his hyung was the funniest person he knew, that he always bought him ramen after a race or that, among all, he was the only one to keep up with him and make the race even more exciting. He didn't care about any of that. Lee Heeseung and Sim Jaeyun, for everyone Jake, wouldn't be friends from that moment on. He had decided.

It was a quiet Sunday in June and while his classmates were busy enjoying the summer holidays, Jake went back and forth to Korea to compete in karting competitions, hoping to become a real driver, like the ones he saw on TV.  Most of the time his father accompanied him, doing everything to be present, Mr. Sim would have done anything to see Jake smile and Jake was grateful that, just that Sunday, his father could not be present for a work emergency in the factory. In economic terms this would have allowed an increase in Mr. Sim's salary and, therefore, an increase in the piggy bank that the whole family was working to fill to allow Jake his well-deserved debut in the minor formulas.

So Jake found himself snorting annoyed by the competition and walking back and forth in the locker room, while waiting for his grandfather to pick him up and take him home. He didn't even want to see how the race ended; he knew that Heeseung, his best friend, had won but he was angry with him. That victory was his, he felt it, even though Heeseung had played dirty and threw him out, ruining his friend's match and team strategy. When he began to see the other kids enter the locker room he decided that he would wait outside for his grandfather's arrival, he did not want to respond to the provocations that the other boys would surely have directed at him and he did not want to see Heeseung. In the field of karting everyone knew that the two of them were inseparable, the perfect pair, that they were building together, brick by brick, their promising future, but for everyone it was only a matter of time before the rivalry between future drivers was born.

It was a story already written.

Friendship in F1 was rare, rivalry on the agenda; but for Jake it wasn't like that, he didn't see everything black or white. For him you could be friends in real life and rivals on the track, what was fundamental was respect and, until that moment, he believed that Heeseung also saw it that way.

He hinted at a smile at Sunghoon, one of the few he couldn't find annoying in the middle of that mass of privileged kids and went out; the hot June sun was still high in the sky even though it was late afternoon. He liked summer, it reminded him of his home, Australia, although there, during what was summer for everyone, it was actually winter. He sat on a bench near the parking lot waiting to see his grandfather's van make his way through all those luxury cars. Jake was not ashamed of his humble origins, Jay -his idol and friend- reiterated to him, every time they sax each other, how admirable it was what his parents were doing for him and how much Jake ha dato make an effort ti make them proud.

After about twenty minutes he finally got into his grandfather's van ready to leave that day behind and focus on the next competition. The return trip was silent, he and his grandfather didn't speak much: Jake, despite living there for almost 5 years, was still not very fluent in Korean, he preferred English a thousand times and his grandfather snorted every time he heard him take a few minutes to formulate a correct sentence. In addition, Jake was convinced, despite not being sure, that his grandparents hated both him and his mother for snatching the "promising future" of their only son; Mr. Sim had abandoned everything: medical school, family, his rich ex-girlfriend in order to follow the beautiful Korean-Australian tourist with whom he had spent a fun evening at the skatepark in the summer. His father had abandoned a secure future to find himself being a farmer in Australia just for love and Jake, every time he heard that story, could only feel his heart fill with pride in calling him his dad.

He went up to the house, politely greeted her grandmother (who unlike her husband did not openly show her disappointment) and locked himself in his room for the rest of the evening to observe the ceiling. The small smartphone that his mother had bought him for Christmas was imploding with notifications, but Jake didn't care, he knew exactly who he was and at that moment he had no intention of listening to him. He ignored Heeseung's call attempts and clicked on his mother's number, Brisbane was only 2 hours ahead and at that time of the evening his mother had just finished her work shift.

«Hello to my beautiful baby.- the tired voice, but happy of his mother filled the silence of the room- How are you? How did the race go?»

«Everything is fine.- Jake hesitated- To you?»

«You can't lie Jake, not even on the phone. Don't even try!»

Jake snorted before starting the whole story of the day, from what he had eaten for breakfast until Heeseung had thrown him out in the curve. Thus stealing the victory from his hands. «And so I decided that I won't talk to him anymore»

«Of course Jake. I believe it, definitely» his mother said sarcastically

«Mom! I'm serious! He behaved badly. I don't want to be his friend anymore»

«Honey, you're behaving badly too by not answering his messages! - commented the woman on the other end of the phone - What do you think about sleeping on it, passing the anger and then tomorrow morning taking the first step and listening to his motivations? So you become an adult my love, communicating»

Communication.

The greatest lesson his mother tried to convey to him. When he was a child and lived in Australia, every time he had a problem, his mother made him lie down on the couch, rest his head on his legs and made him talk, talk, talk for hours about all the problems a child could have, about all the feelings that made him restless. He lacked that feeling of peace, sometimes he wondered if all those sacrifices would be useful.

«Okay, I'll call him tomorrow. I promise» Jake snorted resting his head on the pillow, waiting for his mother to start telling him about how it went that Sunday at the water park. They tried to bridge the distance like this, telling each other every detail of the day, not letting anything be overlooked. When, after about forty minutes, he ended the call with the woman promising herself a video call during the week where his father was also present, Jake went to get ready for the night; his phone kept vibrating because of the notifications. He rested his head on the pillow, charged his cell phone reflecting on the promise made to his mother, turned off the light and turned on his side. The next day he would talk to Heeseung.

When the next day, in the early morning lights, Jake felt confusion in the living room he didn't give it too much attention. It was not uncommon for his grandparents to invite their friends and neighbors to share breakfast, he only wished that they would not do all that noise and that they would leave him alone, he would eat when he would feel completely rested. He moaned annoyed when he began to feel his grandmother's footsteps approaching the door of his room, a sign that his presence at the table was required; he hid his head under the blanket before the door could open, hoping to feel sorry for the woman who, moved by compassion, would let him rest. This technique worked 6 times out of 10.

«You're welcome honey, come in! - invited the woman, with a voice too gentle compared to the one Jake was used to- I'll wake him up now. This sleepyhead!» Jake raised an eyebrow, who the hell was he talking to? Who was in his room at dawn on a Monday.

«Oh don't worry, let him sleep. I'll stop by another time» the unknown voice was familiar, extremely familiar if only he hadn't whispered the words so as not to wake him up.

«Nonsense boy! Jaeyun should wake up soon anyway. You went all this way to say hello to him!- replied the grandmother- Jaeyun wake up!» A guttural sound came out of Jake's lips. «Up on sloth. Your friend came to see you. What's your name honey?»

«Heeseung, Lee Heeseung»

At those words Jake took off the blanket immediately putting himself to look, with his eyes, his friend who showed up at his house by surprise. Heeseung was still at the door of his room, maybe waiting for Jake to wake up and give him the okay to be able to invade his privacy, and even though it was about 6:30 in the morning he was already fully dressed and awake like it was midday. «What are you doing here?» He screamed in shock, getting slapped by his grandmother «Sim Jaeyun so you talk like that to a friend who is coming to see you?- the woman yelled- get dressed and come have breakfast. This beautiful boy brought a wonderful cake just by sight»

When the woman went out the door, telling Heeseung to enter the room, she closed the door and Jake took the opportunity to give her the middle finger. Heeseung smiled.

«I'm sorry to wake you up. - admitted the major sitting on the bed- You always told me that your grandmother woke you up early and so I took advantage of it» Jake didn't answer, he just looked at him annoyed. He had no plans to fight in person, in pajamas, as soon as he woke up in his house with Heeseung; he intended to read his messages, answer him coldly and not see him again until the next training at the end of July. «I also brought you a lemon cake! The one we ate a few months ago. I remember you liked it» Heeseung added, hoping to receive some reaction from his friend.

«Thank you. - Jake murmured rubbing his eyes- Did you come here to bring me a lemon cake?» Heeseung's face darkened, he shifted his gaze from Jake to the desk next to his bed and started talking, not before he sighed.

«I'm sorry about yesterday Jaeyun, really! I wanted to win and I didn't think about the consequences. I played dirty and especially I did it with you who are my best friend, I'm sorry»

«Mh mh»

«I also wanted to talk to you after the award ceremony, but the others told me that you had left and so I tried to send you messages but you didn't answer»

«Well when one is angry he doesn't want to talk Heeseung» ironized the minor staring at heeseung's face, who still didn't look him in the eyes

«I'm not blaming you Jaeyun, really! I just wanted to show you that I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I promise I won't do it again. Or at least I won't throw you off the track» Heeseung said softly, this time looking into his eyes

«Promise? On our friendship?» Jake stretched out his hand, his little finger stretched out towards Heeseung who didn't take long to intertwine it with his «promise! On our friendship»

That was one of the most beautiful days Jake remembered. Although Heeseung had to leave for the holidays in the afternoon, they had spent the whole morning together having fun. They had had breakfast with that delicious lemon cake that Jake loved and that heeseung had brought, Jake had shown him the small neighborhood where he lived, but continued to make comparisons about his house in Australia, about how much he missed it and how much he couldn't wait to get rich and buy his house back in the country to repay his parents. Heeseung had listened to him, patiently, as he always did; he was curious about everything Jake did, every detail of his life so different from his did nothing but attract him. Heeseung would listen to Jake talk for hours, he liked the way he spoke, he had a strange Korean accent and many times he could only express himself in English, and Heeseung didn't mind. By the way, thanks to him he had improved considerably and his father was happy to think that those improvements were due to the private lessons of the various professors that he paid handsomely. The reality was very different, Heeseung had improved in English thanks to Jake and especially for Jake, he no longer wanted to see him on the sidelines because the others did not understand him, he wanted to talk to him, listen to him, laugh with him and even cry if necessary. Because Heeseung, when he was with Jake, felt free to make mistakes because Jake would never judge him, but on the contrary he would have found a way to remedy everything.

Chapter Text

[JAKE P.O.V]

Korean Gran Prix, Seoul, 2025

The Korean Grand Prix, passing the years, had acquired a huge success, soon becoming a constant in the Formula 1 calendars. The strong fans present, the presence of 2 exceptional teams based in Korea and the high percentage of Korean drivers had pushed the government to pay tribute to motorsport, using a small part of the roads of the capital, Seoul, as a city circuit. Seoul was the Monaco of Asia for most drivers who had no intention of moving to the other side of the world and who had the headquarters of the teams there, as had happened to Jake, Riki, Sunghoon and Heeseung. 

Every driver had a favorite circuit, one where he felt strongest, and only a few were lucky enough to call it 'home track', Jake felt doubly lucky because he had two circuits able to define home. For years, he had felt too Australian for some aspects and not very Korean for others, but growing up and seeing how much the various fans reiterated that this was also his home circuit, the awareness was born in him that it was okay to be both. That it was okay to feel at home both in Australia and in Korea, because, indeed, he was both.  

While crossing the paddock he managed to notice the fans dressed in black and silver who were going to mix with those dressed in red, there was no doubt, the favorites of the day were still and forever the hosts: the black panthers and the red ruby. It was relatively early for the race that would be held, usually at 3 in the afternoon, but he had not been able to stay at home any longer. The beauty of running home was that there were no hotels, there were no suitcases or air connections to take, it was all extremely close. In fact, the city circuit had been set up in one of the most luxurious neighborhoods of Seoul, Gagnam, where, in addition to the various pilots' houses, also complexes of apartments of idols, actors or celebrities in general were located. Strolling around the paddock, Jake noticed how most of the VIPs walking around there, among the garages, were none other than his neighbors.

He entered the common area, of access only to authorized personal, and immediately went to the table next to the window where Sunghoon, Riki and Jungwon were talking animatedly, not caring about the glances of the other teams, while they were having breakfast.

«I slept on Jungwon's couch too. It's not that uncomfortable!» Sunghoon mumped with a piece of brioche in his mouth. «Exactly! Thanks hyung!» 

«That couch broke my back! I'll find another place to sleep for tonight!- the blond turned to Jake who was stealing a few sips from Sunghoon's cappuccino- Jake can I sleep at your place?»

«Of course. But why?»

«The pipes of his apartment have broken, the work will take a week» said Sunghoon «Last night I found him like a desperate puppy outside my door. - Jungwon added- It was as if the stork had arrived» Riki pouted, he didn't like being treated like a child. But for them, somehow, it was and when he made these gestures, even more so. «OUR BEAUTIFUL PRODIGY CHILD» Jungwon replied playfully stroking his cheeks «A LITTLE EMO BUT STILL OUR CHILD» Sunghoon exclaimed ruffling his hair.

«Stop it, idiots!- muttered the minor trying to free himself from all that affection- where is Jay? He's the only one missing»

Jake looked at Sunghoon for help «He wrote to me saying that he wouldn't be able to free himself for breakfast. Work meeting with Namjoon and other boring stuff you know» Sunghoon lied perfectly, Riki and Jungwon didn't bat an eye.

«Speaking of work, Riki we have to go. Move up! - Jungwon suddenly got up- interview with Sky and then a few meetings with fans. Jake, you?»

«I already did everything yesterday!» Jungwon smiled satisfied. «That's why you're my favorite! Move on Riki. Bye Sunghoon hyung, good luck for today!» With many complaints from Riki because he wanted to finish his breakfast, Jungwon dragged him to face the various interviews of the day.

Once they were left alone, Jake and Sunghoon, remained silent for a few minutes. They didn't like lying to their friends very much, but that time it had been necessary.

«You know where he is?- Sunghoon asked- It's sucks, every year they put this damn race in the exact same damn week»

Jake sighed. «You know him. He wants to be alone for a few hours» 

«Just, I wish he just would talk to us or someone about it, but every time I try, he just diverts the conversation. As if it had never happened, as if his life had not completely changed after that- Sunghoon muttered as he tore the handkerchiefs, a bad habit he displayed when he couldn't handle his emotions too well- Maybe your father can talk to him. Jay was and still is he's favourite among us»

«Jay is everyone favorite!- Jake points out- And yes I'll ask him to speak with as soon as I see him today. Maybe this week we can organize an outing all together with dad, he always complains he miss his children»

«Aw I miss him too, can we bring Riki and Jungwon too, so he will have 2 more new babies»

Jake tilted his head smiling «You could also bring Sunoo. So you'll finally introduce us!» 

«No» cut off Sunghoon, but Jake was an insistent little bitch. «Why? I'm your best mate and your gay awakening and i don't know your current boyfriend. It's ridiculous» 

Sunghoon's hand covered his mouth with too much shame. «First of all, you're not my gay awakening. It's Zac Efron in high school musical. And Sunoo is not my boyfriend, he's my engineer»

«You're right. My bad.- Jake hesitated- Your future boyfriend» and before Sunghoon could reply, he ran away. Teasing Sunghoon for his crush was amazing, top 1 of Jake's hobbies. 

It had been a few months since Sunghoon-The-Heartbreaker, he had known all his life, had been replaced by a shy boy in love. It was hilarious watching Sunghoon lost his ability to think when Sunoo's name was mentioned, he had never seen him like this even though Jake was his first boyfriend when they were 18. Jake was really curious about Sunoo; he'd only seen a few photos on social media, never having met him in the paddock. He'd discovered that Sunoo was very shy; Jungwon (the personal gossip spy for Jake, Riki, and incredibly, Jay), despite being the most easygoing and outgoing person in the world, had taken him almost half a year to even engage in a non-work-related conversation. But Sunoo always talked with Sunghoon, so it was a positive sign, or so Jake and Jay hoped. They were convinced that Sunghoon's "unrequited love" wasn't actually that unrequited; Sunghoon was simply too much of a fool to make a move. He'd always been used to being the one being pursued, not the other way around. While reflecting on the love life of his best friend, a well-known figure approached him.

«DAD!» He screamed before running into his father's arms. Mr. Sim, despite the decadent balance, was very happy to welcome his boy into his arms. 

Every time Jake looked at him he realized how time inexorably passed. The black hair had now almost completely disappeared, leaving room for a mass of white hair within  a few tips of gray here and there. The smooth and perfect face that his mother loved to define 'beautiful as the sun' was now furrowed by some deep wrinkles, which gradually increased more and more. Despite being young, his father had broken his back for years and this had had a few consequences on his health, especially on his joints. It was rare that he walked alone, he preferred to use the walker or even the cane, he completely refused the wheelchair, but this refusal was not always respected. He and Jake looked alike, a lot. His mother always repeated that he was his spitted image and that he had taken nothing from her, but her juicy lips; his father, on the other hand, kept repeating how he was more similar to her than he imagined and Jake was very happy when he repeated it to him.

«Oh my big boy!- said the father continuing to hug him- How I missed you! Are you going to get ready?» Jake nodded and together with him, holding his arm, they headed towards the dressing room. His dad always got excited every time he saw him in his "uniform", that was the result of his sacrifices and Jake was always happy to make him proud. «I crossed Sunghoon while a steward accompanied me. He promised me a catch all together these days, of course I accepted» Jake smiled. His father treated his friends as his children and his friends loved his father, as if he were theirs too. 

His father, Jay and Sunghoon were the closest thing to the family concept and he was happy that for all 3 this thing was mutual.

«Yes, we'll bring Jungwon and Riki too, so you'll get to know them!- Jake exclaimed- And above all we'd like you to talk to Jay»

«Oh how is Jay? I haven't seen him lately at the rehabilitation center»

«No, he decided to use the sports rehabilitation of the team, it would have been a stress only to go back and forth every time he had a session» Jake murmured «Wise choice! - commented the man- Is he always the usual stubborn who does his own way?»

Jake sadly nodded. «Yes, it's always the same. We would like he to talk to us, we tried in every way. We would like him to vent with us, but he never does it» his father gave him a few pats on the back to reassure him.

«It's normal honey, he was just a boy. It's not easy to metabolize in the first place, let alone talk about it. By the way- he frowned- didn't it happen here? Where is he now?» Jake looked down, it was never easy to talk about that topic. «Yes. It happened here.- he murmured- I don't know where he is, every year when we are here he isolates himself, we don't know where he is and when he reappears he pretends that nothing happened. That's not healthy, dad» His father sighed resignedly and rested his head on his son's shoulder «I'll try to talk to him honey, I promise you»

¨☆◦✦◦☆¨

[HEESEUNG P.O.V]

> to: Jay

hey, do you wanna talk?

> from: Jay

No. sorry mate.

> to: Jay

don't worry, i wanted to know how you were

> from: Jay

i'm good, really. I just need some time alone. See you on the track. 

> to: Jay

see you on the track. Love you mate, really.

[seen]

Heeseung put the phone on the table, next to that of his father who was busy talking to some engineers watching the F2 race. The GP of Korea, however important because he was his home GP, had never aroused great emotions in him, if not displeasure and concern. Every year, being there, he found himself reopening a wound that never heal; he read it in Jay's momentary isolation, hit in the first person, it was something that still hurt him and that he would probably always do it to him. But, he wasn't the only one who carried the burden of that day. Jay had physical pain as a personal reminder, but even Heeseung, Sunghoon and Jake carried the weight of seeing him lying on a hospital bed, for months and months, between life and death, not knowing what fate would have in store for him. And that pain didn't need words to be understood; despite not talking, even though they were no longer friends, Heeseung knew that if he had crossed his gaze with Jake or Sunghoon, he would read in their eyes the same desire to protect Jay from the memories of a past that still burned on his skin. Because Jay wasn't just their best friend, their beacon in the middle of the storm, the umbrella on rainy days, Jay had been the older brother that none of them had. 

He had been the one who, despite being older, more popular, more talented, enjoyed going out with them who were simple kids who considered him a semi-god. It was he who had perfected their driving technique, who had been his father, older brother, friend, who had offered him a shoulder to cry on, a safe space in which to be themselves, in which to confide without fear of judgment. It was he who had taught them that it was more important to be a champion in life, rather than on the track.

«There are not many promising young people.- declared his father sipping his sparkling wine admiring the track- No one wants to take the risk anymore!» Heeseung with his eyes down, focused on his hands, could do nothing but mumble an answer, it was neither a yes nor a no. Neutral answer, so he had learned to survive in that house.

«It's embarrassing that no one tries to overtake. We're seeing a train of cars for 40 minutes.»

«After the incident a few years ago, the teams and the federation are much more cautious here. -Heeseung says firmly, avoiding his father's gaze once again.- Nobody wants the same story to happen again»

«Nonsense, in this sport you take risks!- The man admonished.- Better dead, than a loser Heeseung. Remember it!» Heeseung couldn't explain to himself what his mother had seen in him and continued to see us after all those years; not that his mother was a loving parent, but at least she was trying to show herself okay in the eyes of her only son. Sometimes, taken by the desire to establish a healthy relationship with at least one of his parents, Heeseung invited her to breakfast or dinner in his apartment. But with his father all this was not possible; sometimes he felt like shit in wishing for his death, but ,when his daddy came out with these pearls of wisdom, Heeseung understood that it was useless to even feel sorry for him.

Jaebeom Lee was an egocentric, egorized with the empathy of a stone and Heeseung, although aware of his bad character, was aware that he would never touch his father's levels. He hated it when journalists bought them, trying to sell the image of the talent of 'father to son', Heeseung also hated the fact that it was his father's sharp photocopy: the same height, the same physicality, the same cut of the eyes, the lips, almost the same tone of voice; it was as if his father had decided to clone himself and create a similar one. And it was horrible because the more he tried to get away from that house, from that family and from those memories, reality was slammed in his face because he could never really escape, it was enough for him to look in the mirror and remember who he was and whose son he was. 

«I think I'll go get ready for the race- he said getting up from the couch- with permission» without even waiting for an answer he started heading towards the dressing room. He had enough of his father and of that day in general, the Korean Grand Prix was the moment when the whole Lee family took the field to show themselves to the media as a loving family, who supported their only son, the generational heir, in every way. But the reality was quite different.

His mother, despite all those years married to a former pilot, didn't even know the basic technical terms and showed up at the circuit just in time to be framed, his father instead was there only for himself, to remember the old days, when pilots were real pilots and not ''boys who drives a fast car'''. The worst thing was that the media, the news, the journalists loved that circus that for Heeseung was just ridiculous. He turned left and entered his box, just before turning around and going to his dressing room he saw Sunghoon, also still not dressed, talking to a person he hadn't seen for years and who, deep down, he missed. 

Mr. Sim was the father he had always wanted, when he first met him he felt an almost exhausting envy towards Jaeyun. He treated him as if he were part of the family, as if he too was worthy of all the attention he gave to his son, as if he was also deserving of love. The last time Heeseung had seen him had been at the funeral of Jake's mother, although their relationship was already broken in time, out of respect for the family that had always treated him like a son he showed up at the funeral and offered a shoulder to cry on. His legs moved by themselves, before he could even reason about it, he found himself in front of Mr. Sim to greet him and despite the poisonous relationship that now bound him and Jake, what he found in front of him was the welcoming smile of a man who had just seen one of his children again.

«What a big boy you've become Heeseung!- the man commented touching his shoulders- I didn't remember you so fit!» Heeseung smiled genuinely as he watched him. «Aboji, how are you?»

«All right! - he sighed - The usual for an old man. But let's not talk about me, how are you? Are you eating the right amount? Still having trouble with sleep?» Heeseung was taken aback by that interest.

«Oh! No, no I'm fine. Really! I also eat too much according to the personal trainer»

«Nonsense! - the man snorted- You're good and then I always repeat it to Jake and Sunghoon, you, young athletes must have the strength. Eat as much as you want. Is it true that I always repeat it Sunghoon?» Heeseung had almost forgotten about his teammate who was leaning against the side wall and was analyzing the scene, with a face that was a mix of curiosity and amusement.

«And I always tell you that you don't have to worry aboji, don't you?»

«Well it's hard not to worry when my boys are on the track. -Once again Mr. Sim, when he talked about his boys, included Heeseung- Now I'll let you go prepare. But first, the usual recommendations. Come on, repeat them!»

Heeseung and Sunghoon exchanged an embarrassed look before looking down and repeats in chorus «drive fast but carefully, don't get hurt and above all, have fun». This was their rite of when they were racing on kart at 12.

After a light ruffle of hair, the man walked away, leaving the two pilots alone in the corridor. It was strange to be with Sunghoon in that situation, it seemed that time had gone back and that they were not preparing for an F1 race, but for a kart race. Along the way to the dressing room the two pilots walked in silence, next to each other. A rare scene, almost unpublished as the two preferred to pretend that the other did not exist.

«Heeseung- Sunghoon broke the silence, a few meters before his room- thank you for coming to say hello to Aboji. He always asks me or Jay about you and I never know what to answer him, at least that's how he could see for himself» Heeseung forced a smile. «I wanted to say goodbye to him too. It wasn't a big effort» 

Sunghoon hinted at a smile and once he got to his door, he opened it and locked himself inside, leaving Heeseung in the corridor who was fighting with all of himself not to let his shiny eyes out. 

The knowledge that Mr. Sim, father of his number 1 rival, years later, still remembered his sleep problems, that he asked others for updates on him and that he referred to him as still part of his family, hurt his heart. Because Heeseung was craving those attentions by his parents since he was a child and only a group of strangers, with whom now he had no kind of relationship if not hatred, had been able to give him.

The race, that weekend, was over just as quickly as it had begun. No overtaking, no reckless action. Because they all had a friend who had almost lost his life on that track, and they had, as a spectator, a father who only wanted his children to have fun without getting hurt. Sunghoon achieved his first Formula 1 victory; immediately after, Jake crossed the finish line, and Heeseung took the bronze medal. During the customary photo on the podium, he cared little that he had finished third and been beaten by his co-driver. His father's complaints would be a problem for his future self. In that moment, he smiled as he had rarely done in those years, because in addition to the journalists, his aboji was also there taking the photos to his boys.

Chapter Text

[JAY P.O.V]

Korean Gran Prix - Seoul

Even the weather, that Sunday, seemed to make fun of him by dragging him back in time to that April 13 of 10 years earlier, the day when the rising star of motorsport, Park Jay, had become a simple passenger comet. A sad paragraph of a story that was no longer up to him to write and that no longer saw him as the protagonist. Sitting on the ground for who knows how many hours, in the team's tire warehouse, Jay isolated himself from the world, reliving his trauma. Not far from him his cell phone, with the screen facing down, sometimes kept him company, breaking his lonely crying, with notifications of some message from his friends; he knew that it was not right to isolate himself, but he wanted that pain, that burden, to be only his.

He didn't want to hear reassurances, nor do he want to say that the important thing was that he was there alive; he wanted, for once, just for that day, to be selfish and think about him, about what he had seen snatch from his hands in a moment. In his heart he knew that his friends would never judge him for that thought, that, if only he had allowed him, they would have taken on that burden in his place; but Jay didn't want to. Because everyone looked at him with compassion every time he took a step, because even if he didn't admit it, everyone felt sorry for his condition and Jay hated to read the pity for him in other people's eyes. And his friends were great, they had never looked at him with compassion, they had never treated him as different; but Jay knew them better than they knew themselves, he saw how every time he got up one of them approached to grab him in case he couldn't balance and Jay was aware that they didn't do it on purpose, he knew it was an automatic reflex after they had seen him fall into rehabilitation so many times. Yet Jay hated him.

He hated the fact that he had trained a lifetime to run on the track, but in the end he found himself doing calculations, looking at engines, devising strategies. In his ideal life, if everything had gone according to the rules, he would have had to implement the race strategies and not think about them. Many people could not realize their dreams, they were satisfied and still managed to live a serene life, and Jay knew this and even accepted it; on normal days it was also good for him to settle, to live a life that he had not planned; then, however, there were no days, and April 13, for Jay was always a no day.

It was a day no because Jay reflected deeply on his life, he retraced it in full, moment by moment, from his first childhood memory - his first Korean Grand Prix seen live at four years old - to the last moment worthy of note, the moment before the accident at nineteen. Since then he had often found himself repeating in his mind the last sequence in which he felt really alive, in which he felt he was worth something, that he was someone. He still remembered the stad hands on the steering wheel, the foot on the accelerator, the sweat that went down his temples, the heart that from the adrenaline almost came out of his chest as he tried to overtake the others and win once again.

He remembered the hundreds of people in the stands rooting for him, cheering him on as a king because Jay was, he was the king of the track. He was faster; He was the best strategist, the smartest; the one who always managed to find the weaknesses of his opponents and exploit them to win. And that talent of his was observable from miles away, since he was a child Jay gave off all his qualities on the track and a Formula 1 team, in particular, had not missed the chance to have the best talent from South Korea in his team. At only 14 years old Jay was contacted by the Black Panthers who had decided to finance his career in motorsport at his own expense, with the promise that when he turned 20 he would become an F1 driver in all respects. And that April 13, a week before his 20th birthday, Jay was doing everything to win, to celebrate the news that his dream, soon, would come true. Then, the impact.

The helmet that compressed his head, the heat and then the cold that crossed his body. His body that didn't react. The flames. The desire to close my eyes and sleep. The desperate screams. The sirens of the ambulances and then the black, the void, the nothing.

Only silence and darkness.

Silence and darkness.

It is precisely in that silence and darkness that the dream of a lifetime was torn from his hands, destined to never come true.

When he woke up, he didn't understand where he was; his only thought was to try to understand why he didn't feel anything, no discomfort, no pain, he couldn't even feel his legs move, even though he was trying in every way. It was Dr. Jeon, the man who saved his life, who prevented him from having a panic attack, explaining to him what had happened. Jay was grateful to Dr. Jeon, now become Jungkook for him, for his sincerity and frankness, he did not give him the opportunity to hope, to deceive himself was decisive, clear, objective. He didn't bother to break the dreams of a twenty-year-old because just the very fact of being alive was a miracle.

It took time to be able to listen to the whole story and to be able to digest the diagnosis, maybe after 10 years he still hadn't digested it completely. Jay's career ended in a chicane, at the penultimate corner of the last lap of the Korean Grand Prix. Three cars involved, only one seriously injured. He had ended up off the track, the car turned upside down, the fire that had enveloped him. Looking at that scene they were all convinced that Jay had died on the impact or that he would not get through the night, but Jay was kissed by luck - that's how the doctors defined him - and despite various head injuries, third-degree burns, broken ribs, arms and the high percentage of being paralyzed, he was alive. In a coma, of course, but alive.

Jay would have preferred to die on the impact, at first. Without his dream it was nothing, but then the various sessions with the team of psychologists had shown their fruits, he realized that he had been granted a second chance. And so the dream of running disappeared and Dr. Jeon imposed a single, great goal on him: to walk again.

He began rehabilitation, he began to see progress: from the bed, to the wheelchair; from the walker, to the crutches; from the stick to standing alone. All this in a single year, a year of hell, anger, crying. Even the relationship with his friends, those who were, after 10 years, still his brothers, was touched by that event. He envied them, because they could stand on their own, because they didn't need constant help, they didn't have burn scars on their chest, they didn't need a cane to walk, because they still had a dream to realize.

For 3 months Jay left them out of his life, put a barrier between his hospital room and the outside world, but Jake, Sunghoon and Heeseung continued to present him out there, every day, respecting his choice to isolate himself without ever, however, really leaving him alone. They were one door away, ready to enter as soon as Jay had given the okay.

And Jay hated them more and more every day. He hated them when he found them asleep in the waiting room. When they waited outside the operating room for hours for Jay to finish the surgeries. When they bribed the nurses to make him deliver his favorite pastries. His hatred, however, ended at Christmas, when his 3 brothers showed up at the hospital dressed as Santa Claus, the reindeer and the elf only to see him in person, even if only for 5 minutes. That evening Heeseung paid the nurses handsomely for their silence, and in room 209, an exclusive sleepover was held.

It had not been easy to overcome everything, the first times had been hard. They tried to avoid talking about cars, competitions or anything related to motorsport; then, however, the first contracts in formula 2 arrived, for the 3 of them the hope of the future opened up that had been snatched from Jay and Jay could do nothing but swallow the bite, smile and make sure that at least his brothers succeeded where he had failed.

«Weren't you in a meeting with Namjoon? -a voice broke Jay's flow of thoughts- Why are you on the ground?»

Jungwon reconfirmed himself like the thorn in Jay's side. On the only day he didn't want to talk to anyone, not even his closest friends, the universe had sent him Yang Jungwon. «Are you crying?»

"No. How do you get it. - Jay immediately exclaimed wiping his tears with the back of his hand, trying to hide his face- What are you doing here?»

Jungwon, remained silent for a few seconds, then opened his backpack and hunted a package of chocolate cookies, handing one to Jay, who, almost amused by that surreal scene, took it between his fingers, watching it for a few seconds before biting it.

«So... what are you doing here?» The major asked trying to camouflage his voice cracked by crying

«What you do here too!»

Jay rolled his eyes. The usual idiot. «I'm serious Jungwon, what are you doing in the warehouse?»

«I'm serious too. - said the minor crouching next to Jay, resting his elbows on his knees - What's up? Only you can cry in the warehouse?»

The raven raised an eyebrow, intrigued. «Why would you cry here?»

«Because the bathroom was occupied! I couldn't cry there- Jungwon scratched his neck slightly looking down - Why are you crying in the warehouse instead? I thought you were in a super secret meeting full of old men who waste money for this team or something like that»

«First of all, I wasn't crying -Jay replied raising a finger- and secondly, I'm an engineer, it's not my job to talk to old people. Do you even know how a Formula 1 team works?»

Jungwon barely smiled, trying to disguise his shiny eyes. «Okay, engineers don't talk to old people, but you still haven't told me why you're sitting here crying»

«If I say it, then you say it too?»

Jungwon nodded bringing his legs to his chest and resting his chin on his knees, all his attention focused on Jay.

«Today it's been 10 years since the accident.- there was no need to explain what the incident, everyone knew, even Jungwon- and it's absurd how 10 have already passed if I think about it, but then on reflection it it seems endless. Don't you understand?» Jay smiled sarcastically, playing with the rubber band on his wrist. «A moment before it was a few days before my 20th birthday, I could have the world in my hands and now I'm...»

«On a dirty floor of a warehouse telling existential problems to an almost stranger?- Jungwon added, raising a corner of his mouth- I know the feeling, at least we are both losers»

And if that morning someone had told Jay that he would find himself laughing with Yang Jungwon, on the anniversary of the worst day of his life, he would have taken them for crazy. Yet, at that moment, Park Jay was really laughing out loud, bent over himself, almost out of air in his lungs. Jungwon looked at him and burst out laughing too, tapping his hand on the dirty floor and repeating "god what a loser''. After a few minutes in which they both continued to giggle every time they met the other's gaze, the laughter calmed down, leaving them in an almost comforting silence.

«When is your birthday?- Jungwon suddenly asked- You said there were only a few days left until your birthday when it happened»

Jay nodded «April 20, even if it doesn't matter anymore. I didn't celebrate my 20th birthday because I was in a coma and since that moment I haven't celebrated any more years. It's a day like any other»

«Bullshit - warned Jungwon- every birthday must be celebrated! It's like a rule. Life is already sad, take at least a day to be the center of attention»

«I'm already the center of attention every day - Jay exclaimed raising his cursed leg, as if to point to her- I don't need to be even on my birthday»

«And this is where you're wrong! It's all a matter of perceptions!- Jungwon tilted his head and smiled as he looked at the amazement in the face of the major - In psychology it's called the spotlight effect, the tendency to overestimate how much others notice a defect of ours. You tend to overestimate how much others, on a daily basis, notice your insecurity and then decide, on the day when you should be the center of attention, that you want to be ignored; but in the end, if you think about it, it's all in your head. Trust that when someone looks at you, the last thing they think about is your leg»

Jay stared at him. Since when did Yang Jungwon say sensible things? What had he done with the touchy and stubborn boy he saw all the time at work? Who was this improvised psychologist in front of him?

«Mh- he muttered, crossing his arms- and what do people think when they look at me?»

«That you're annoying and you don't know how to dress decently. There are not only team shirts»

Jay burst out laughing again, shaking his head. Despite everything, Jungwon remained that petulant twenty-one-year-old boy who bothered him at work every day. «No, but now seriously. The birthday is sacred, you are the one who has the power. Give some alcohol around, some music and that's it. Everyone loves you and you become the best person in the world for a few hours. I'll organize your birthday»

«no! It's silly»

«Not everything in life has to be serious! - Jungwon stretched his legs giving him a light push with his foot - You're 30 years old Jay, you didn't even celebrate your 20. You can allow me to be stupid for a few hours. Just like today you can afford to be sad in front of everyone without the need to hide in a dirty deposit. Now, however, just as you sat down, you have to get up. We have work to do»

Jay widened his eyes when he realized how time had flown, he got up quickly and together with the blond they started walking towards the box.

«So, I can or may not organize a birthday party for you. Anyway, even if you say no, I'll bring you a cake to the office anyway and I'll have you blow out the candles, so.» Jay rolled his eyes, but the amused grin didn't leave his face.

«I don't want anything too pompous, okay? Ask Jake or Sunghoon for a hand for the guests. Don't show up with a cake at work or I won't let you into my house for the party. Was I clear?»

Jungwon nodded vigorously. Before separating, however, Jay remembered that Jungwon hadn't told him his reason «Why did you want to cry there?»

«You'll have to find out in a future episode, Mr. Engineer. - replied the blond, walking backwards towards the paddock, with a cheeky smile- I'll organize the best birthday party you could ever imagine»

And for the first time in 10 years, on April 13, Jay sat down at his station, all thanks to Yang Jungwon. His thorn in the side.

Chapter Text

[HEESEUNG P.O.V]

Seoul, Korea

When, a few days before, Jay had told him about a little birthday party, Heeseung had imagined something quiet, maybe a awkward sushi dinner where he, Jake and Sunghoon would pretend to put up with each other for a few hours. But he was so wrong. Jay's salon was unrecognizable: a lot, very lots of people who moved to the rhythm of a DJ set improvised by Riki, intermittent lights that illuminated everything and a pungent smell of weed that had overwhelmed the classical fragrance of Jay's house, pomegranate. The bar corner at the entrance, one of Jay's biggest pride, had been taken by assault by the waitresses of the catering who were serving drinks at the speed of the light, Heeseung could barely distinguish the faces of some people of his team in the crowd.

He had glimpsed the birthday boy, just few minutes, the he was vanished in the crowd with angry eyes in search of something or rather, someone. Heeseung had ended up wandering around the rooms, chitchatting with some acquaintances and then being left alone again.

He had never be a party boy. When his schoolmates, at 18, started to spend their weekend's in the clubs he was too focused on his 8 sleep hours pre-race for joining them. The few times where he attended a party he always ended up in a corner with other losers like him who couldn't dance. During the years the situation hadn't changed: every time there was a team's party, he limited himself to attend for an hour, greeting someone, have a drink and disappearing shortly after. His attitude, combined with his apparently arrogant aura, had made him a solitary figure, almost unapproachable, within the team. So now he was there, alone on the couch with a cold beer, hoping that time would pass faster.

«God! Finally a seat!» The voice behind him jumped him. He turned around and, despite the confusion of the strobe lights. he recognized Sunoo's face falling next to him, with a sight of relief.

«Sunoo!» he exclaimed surprised.

His team's engineer looked up and opened his eyes «Heeseung Hyung! A familiar face, finally»  Heeseung leaned against the backtrack «You know Jay?»

«Only by sight, i'm here because of Jungwon. But he left me alone all the night, bastard! Instead, you? - he asked fixing his hair- I never seen you at this types of party, i believe i never saw you outside work»

Heeseung giggled «As much I can seem an asshole and have the bad reputation of annoying bitch in the team, - Sunoo's face twitched in a guilty grimace- the truth is i don't really like social events»

«SAME! I hate every social events like this, i always feel like an idiot»

«EXACTLY! Look i can't dance, i don't have someone to do it and i don't really wanna search someone to do it with.- Heeseung pronunced, drumming his fingers on the bottle- That's why you never saw me in this places. I'll ended up sitting here like a loser anyway»

Sunoo beated his shoulder «YAH! I'M ALWAYS THE LOSER ON THE COUCH! Give me some credits- Heeseung burst out laughing- But i understand what you mean. Since i joined the team i try to get out my comfort zone, i force myself to go to parties and extending my circle of friendship, but at the end i'm always part of the losers' team on the couch»

«Now on the couch i see two losers, so it's an upgrade- Heeseung raised his beer- Now we are forced to keep each other company for the rest of our lives. Cheers my new friend»

«Cheers my new friend!»

¨☆◦✦◦☆¨

[JUNGWON P.O.V]

His death was near.

This was his first thought when he was pushed by Jay inside the bathroom. Organized that party had been complicated, not because he wasn't good enough (he was the best!), but because he and Jay didn't really know each other. They hadn't share nothing except for the poisoned jokes and that moment of vulnerability. They were acquaintances forced to stay together because Jake and Sunghoon have decided to adopt Jungwon the year prior. And Jungwon was very grateful for that friendship, because when he had arrived in Korea he was alone, without friends, in a country who he hadn't felt his home for years and Jake and Sunghoon's friendship was an anchor of salvation.  They saved him from the silent and very long lunch breaks, from endless travels around the world, from hours of meetings on topics who he didn't care at all. Jake and Sunghoon, with their friendship, had saved him from a work he hated with all his heart, that had been imposed on him, but thanks to them had become almost fun. And when they introduced him to Jay, Jungwon had tried to became his friend, because he thought he was nice.

In the first months of work, when he was still spending his break in the loneliness, Jungwon had observed Jay. Because Jay's aura always had managed to fill an entire room and Jungwon admired for that. He had noticed how Jake, Sunghoon and even Riki acted comfortable around him and how Jay was comfortable around them. Jungwon would never admit but he had a big consideration of Jay, he seemed a good friend, a good person. He admired him for how much he loved his job, for how much passion he put into everything and for everything and he was happy when Jake and Sunghoon had introduced it for him.  But something, between them, didn't click; the usual Jay he had saw around others, hadn't shown around him, never. Quite the opposite. He didn't remembered a single conversation where they agreed on something. They were opposite and they clashed for every little thing: at work, in the car, during outings with friends, everywhere and always.

Years prior, when he was a simple student in England, his psychologist had often told him that in life he would meet people with whom he would immediately establish a harmony and others with whom, instead, even if he tried, he would never happen. It was the life, it was not possible be liked by everyone. And it took years, for Jungwon, to understand and accept it. He had done a great job on himself, he had learned to leave those who were not suitable for him and to value the relationships that made him grow and feel good; but the fact that Jay, always kind to everyone, couldn't find the slightest harmony with him made him mad.

What was wrong with him for not being liked by Jay?

Maybe to try to make him change his mind, Jungwon had proposed to organize that party, he wanted to make Jay realized he was a good friend and a good person too. At the beginning, instead of Riki's improvised DJ set, there was to be a karaoke night, who had discovered Jay loved. Besides, all that mess of people didn't have to be there at all, they were a side effect; on his guest list there was only: he, Jay, Sunghoon, Jake, Riki and Heeseung and some others jay's friends of work. But when, inside the paddock, a rumor of "little party for Jay" started spread, the situation degenerated. Everyone wanted to be involved to show their love and support for the engineer, or, at least, that's what they've told him.

Jungwon's opinion was that they were a bunch of hypocrites and he hated them a little bit, because they talked about Jay like someone "in needed of support", but in reality Jay didn't have need  anybody. God, one time, Jungwon had saw him beat the shit out of Riki, he was fine. In that exact momento, the one in need of support was him, because Jay kept him between his body and the door and he didn't seem happy.

«These were not the agreements» Jungwon inhaled deeply «Yeah, about that.... something goes wrong»

When Jay had hit the door behind him, Jungwon jumped with fear «Something? I have like 500 people in my house Jungwon. I've told you to organize a small party, not a rave in my house»

Jungwon looked down «I know. It wasn't supposed to go like this, I had thought of-»

«I DON'T CARE! - Jay thundered, continuing to stare at the blonde who was getting smaller and smaller against the door- if this is a small party for you, flash news it's not. I don't really wanna a party at all, but i decided to trust you. You convinced me, and now look»

«It had started as an intimate party only that then people were added and ...» the knock on the door interrupted him, Jay rolled his eyes ignoring whoever was out there «I've told you to  get Sunghoon or Jake's help for the guests. You didn't have to do alone»

«But my guests list was perfect. I...»

«I HAVE TO PEE»

Jay moved him and opened the door «Can't you see that it's occupied? And then who the fuck are you?»

The stranger laughed «Bro who the fuck are you? Move i have to pee. Come on»

«I'm the owner of this house. Now shut the fuck up and go fucking away» He slammed the door in the face of the stranger

«Do you understand what the fuck you've been up to?- Jay pointed to the door- I didn't have to trust you when I gave you the okay for the party»

«Can you please listen to me? Please» Jungwon stammered trying to hold back his tears.

He hated fighting with people, especially when people were angry and screaming and didn't listen to Jungwon who, with every scream, got smaller and smaller in the hope of disappearing.

«What is not clear to you that I don't care? I don't want to listen to you Jungwon, I don't care what you say or think. I didn't even have to listen to you before. I had to continue living my birthday as I said and instead I trusted a stupid boy»

You're so stupid Jungwon. No one will ever love you, even your mom preferred to leave you.

Memories of the past were awakening in Jungwon but Jay was too blinded by his emotions to be able to see how Jungwon kew his head down throughout that conversation. The blond didn't even try to counter, he was standing there leaning against the sink listening to everything Jay was shooting at him. Jay wasn't noticing how Jungwon's hands were shaking, how he was hiding his face so as not to show the shiny eyes that were forming. Jay just wanted everyone to leave his house so he could put the word END on his birthday. For Jay it had been a stressful day, where Jungwon had been next to him all day hoping to find something 'decent' in his closet and although Jay was comfortable in that green suit he hadn't worn for years, he just wanted to take off everything and forget that hell of a day.

«Sorry if I ruined your party. -he murmured trying to hide his trembling voice- Maybe you really shouldn't have listened to me. See you Jay, sorry again» when Jungwon came out of the bathroom, he didn't waste time greeting the others.

He sent a message to Riki, to inform him of an emergency, and one to Sunoo to apologize for not having kept him company that evening, took his jacket and waited for the taxi in the lobby of the building. He just wanted to go back to his bed, put on his headphones and wait for those voices from the past that were re-emerging to be silent again.

¨☆◦✦◦☆¨

[JAKE P.O.V]

Riki's playlist was full of bangers, which Jake would have liked to continue enjoying if it hadn't been for that dick of Lee Heeseung, who, once again, seemed to ruin his life indirectly. It was an incredible evening, despite the idea of Jungwon's 'intimate party' had been blessed and although Jay had the face of someone who was ready to kill all the guests, everyone was having fun. Jake had had a few drinks, exchanged a few words with almost everyone and had run wild on the track with Sunghoon improvising pieces of choreography seen on tiktok.

Everything was perfect, until Lee Heeseung decided to get off his pedestal and spend the evening talking to Sunoo, sending Sunghoon into total panic. Jake just wanted to move his hips to the rhythm of JLO's On The floor and instead he was forced to stay on the track to spy.

«So, what are they doing?»

«They're talking Sunghoon, like they were talking 10 minutes ago. And 20 minutes ago and even half an hour ago» Jake shouted in his friend's ear aware that if he had spoken normally, Sunghoon would not have heard him because of the music being too loud.

«Yes, but there are ways and ways of talking Jake! Describe to me how they are talking!»

Jake sighed tiredly and narrowed his eyes to be able to study the two boys on the couch. «They are both leaning on the back of the sofa. -He began to describe Jake- Heeseung has his arms crossed and an amused smile on his lips»

«And Sunoo?»

Jake rolled his eyes «It's quiet. He has his legs crossed and gestures a lot while talking. But it's much more beautiful in person than in pictures! I didn't think so beautiful!»

Sunghoon smiled at those words, turning to take a closer look at the orange-haired boy. Sunoo was wearing simple wide black pants and a striped crop sweater, his cheeks slightly red and even from a distance, Jake could notice the lip gloss that shone on his lips as he laughed at something with Heeseung.

Sunghoon turned suddenly towards Jake with wide eyes «Is Heeseung gay?»

Jake frowned «Not that I know of. Why?»

«Do you think it can be?- Sunghoon insisted crossing his gaze- No, it can't be. Do you remember when you and I were together? In my opinion he is homophobic»

«He's not homophobic! - Jake exclaimed even if not completely convinced- Why the hell do you care about his sexual orientation?» Jake frowned

«Because look how they laugh! He never laughs like that with me and this is the first time they talk outside of work, as far as I know. - Sunghoon snorted- Heeseung can't be so funny»

Jake wanted to reiterate that the adult Heeseung maybe not, but the teenage Heeseung was the most hilarious person on the face of the earth. But he didn't want to make Sunghoon even more nervous and above all he didn't want to reopen old wounds from the past. He just smiled at Sunghoon and dragged him off the track.

«Go talk to him, so he understands that you're the only nice one»

Sunghoon planted himself like a mule, making himself strong with his feet. "No. Absolutely not. What do I tell him?»

«We'll improvise! Come on Romeo, someone is trying to steal Juliet from you»

As they reached them, Jake could see Heeseung's confused frown becoming more and more evident. If Jake hadn't found himself playing Cupid for Sunghoon at this time he would have avoided Heeseung like death, so he understood the confusion in his eyes when he saw them approaching. Once close, Jake tapped on Sunghoon's calf to spur him to say something.

«Heeseung!-Sunghoon greeted coldly before giving a huge smile to the person next to him- Sunoo hi! What are you doing here? I mean, it's wonderful to see you here, but because you're sitting right here, I wanted to say...»

Jake almost wanted to cry from laughing watching him. «Hello, nice to meet you Jake!- Sunoo smiled shyly at him and shook his hand- Sunghoon told me so much about you, can we sit down?» Sunoo made room for him on the couch while Heeseung looked at them confused and also annoyed by that interruption. Sunghoon had thrown himself next to the little one, leaving Jake the arduous task of sitting next to Heeseung, who in order to bother him had spread his legs to take up as much space as possible.

«I didn't know you were friends with Jay!» Jake exclaimed "Do you think Jay is friends with all these people" Heeseung replied sarcastically referring to that full room, he got a kick from Jake in response.

«In fact I'm not- Sunoo replied tilting his face to be able to look at Jake better- I know him by sight, it was Jungwon who invited me»

«Ah are you friends with Jungwon?»

False, as if he didn't know. It was Jake's thought as he watched Sunghoon's fake fool attempt. Sunoo nodded, tilting his head slightly. "Yes. I don't know where he is though, I spent the whole evening with Heeseung hyung»

If Sunghoon had had a machine gun instead of eyes, with the look he had cast, Heeseung would have been better than dead. The red, however, was in the dark or at least he cared little because his only purpose was to annoy Jake, sitting between his body and the armrest of the sofa. «Finish it idiot, you get on my nerves» whispered Jake mimicking a smile for everyone around

«I'll finish it when you leave. - Heeseung snorted continuing to give him light kicks- I was having fun for an evening»

«You're also capable of having fun as well as breaking the caz...»

"JAKE" "YES! Tell me» he gave Heeseung a light shoulder before turning his gaze to Sunghoon.

«Does your foot still hurt, don't it?» Sunghoon asked, giving him a knowing look. At first Jake didn't understand, too distracted by Heeseung who had well thought about getting on his strength.

«OH! YES IT HURTS ME» Heeseung crossed his gaze laughing almost in his face «Sunoo you accompany Sunghoon to get the cake for Jay. I think I accidentally hit Jake's already bad foot»

If Sunghoon hadn't been a loyal friend and his decade-long rivalry with Heeseung hadn't existed, Jake was convinced that Sunghoon would proclaim the elder as his new best friend. He saw how he had given him a look of gratitude as he helped Sunoo get up from the couch.

«Move idiot! You really hurt me» Jake threw Heeseung away from him once the pair of lovebirds had left. Heeseung grinned.

«I'm sure you broke my little finger! Why the hell did you do that?»

«Do you think I'm stupid? I saw how Sunghoon behaves with Sunoo at work and I saw that tonight you practically stalked Sunoo - Jake pursed his lips in embarrassment - and since you don't know how to lie, I had to act»

«Making me hurt!» The Australian replied by putting pressure on the tip of his shoes to relieve the pain

«Since you can't lie and Sunghoon used the excuse of your foot, yes. By hurting you. - the redhead shrugged his shoulders- Get better at lying Jaeyun and also being a spy, thank you that I kept the game and I didn't make Sunoo understand that you were looking at him maniac style»

«Sherlock you could also have made me understand that you understood, instead of sending Sunghoon into a panic at the thought that Sunoo might interest you»

Heeseung wrinkled his nose «No! Too funny to see you standing on the track like idiots»

When Riki got off the console signaling him to go to the kitchen, Heeseung got up from the couch, ready to see his friend blow out the candles and finally return home. Before, however, leaving Jake on that couch, he addressed him one last sentence.

«And anyway Sunoo is not my type! If it had been, Sunghoon wouldn't have had a chance»

Jake rolled his eyes at that too much conviction.

¨☆◦✦◦☆¨

[JAY P.O.V]

«HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!»

The moment of the birthday song was always embarrassing and it was even more so at that moment, when Jay was furious, and the last thing he wanted was to blow out those damn thirty candles.

Sunghoon and Sunoo, whom he had met just five minutes before, had dragged him to the kitchen, where not all the guests were waiting for him, but only those he really knew.

Riki, with a Polaroid in hand, had abandoned his dj set to photograph those present and the phenomenal set-up, all themed with his favorite childhood cartoon: Cars. Even the cake was shaped like Lightning McQueen, his idol from when he was seven years old.

Despite the blind anger, Jay smiled at that vision. He committed himself to making a wish when the lights went out and, as per tradition, for every birthday, Jake spread a slice of cake in his face.

«Very good!- Jay exclaimed, licking his lips dirty with chocolate Bavarian.- Who made it?»

«Jungwon, or so I heard- Heeseung replied, passing him a towel.- He was very good at decorating.

Jay raised his eyebrows, surprised.

«Mh- moaned Jake, enjoying his slice of cake.- Where is Jungwon? I have to give him a kiss»

«He wrote me not to worry, he had to go home- Riki replied, while serving himself another slice.- Sunghoon hyung, let's organize the birthday at Jungwon in December!»

Sunghoon mimicked an "okay" with his fingers, so as not to get dirty in front of Sunoo, who ate with the same delicacy of a prince. The realization that Jungwon was not there, at that moment, shocked him. In the end, although not falling within his ideal of partying, the others had fun.

Once he finished eating, Jake took a handkerchief and began to remove any trace of chocolate from his face. «No, anyway, Jay, you really have to thank Jungwon as soon as you see him. He worked hard for this birthday.»

«Yesterday around four in the morning he video called me to keep him company while Lightning McQueen covered with sugar paste» Sunoo added. He was comfortable in that group, you could understand it from the body language.

«He also contacted your mother to ask her about your favorite cake flavor and to confirm that your favorite cartoon was Cars. He didn't trust us," Sunghoon added.

Heeseung patted him on the back when he saw that Jay was almost drowning in water after hearing those words.

Had Jungwon contacted his mother?

And she hadn't told him anything?

"What?" Jay asked, leaning against the sink next to Heeseung.

«Yes,- Riki explained- Jungwon had planned a party just for us, with a karaoke. He contacted your mother to make you at least a special Cars-themed cake. That's why the cake is small and there are only six of us eating it hidden in the kitchen. Then, oh well, the word spread... and now you have a thousand people in the living room.»

«Wasn't the party organized like that?» Jay asked, feeling like a complete idiot. He couldn't get the idea out of his head that Jungwon had really thought of a party according to his rules.

«No!- Jake exclaimed- Actually we, me, Riki and Sunghoon, wanted you to organize a mega party of this type. But then Jungwon made us think about the fact that a quiet evening would be more like you.»

At those words, however, Jay felt like an asshole.

When Riki and Sunoo left, at the end of the party, and only the four of them remained in the kitchen, a quietness that had not characterized them for a long time fell. Before returning home, Riki had given him a Polaroid taken by the way just before, a photo that Jay would keep forever: him, Heeseung, Sunghoon and Jake next to each other, like in the old days. It was spontaneous, none of them were posing, they were just talking, but at least in that photo it seemed that nothing had changed, that everything was like ten years before. And if Jay had been lucky enough to have that photo, it was only thanks to Jungwon, who had managed to convince him to celebrate and put all his favorite people in the world in one room. Jay should have thanked Jungwon for everything he had done for him, for making that day special And maybe, precisely because the minor was missing, despite having in front of him everything he had wanted for years, he couldn't really enjoy it. Because he had treated shit precisely to those who had made all this possible.