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"A good man is always loyal and protects his loved ones, Omar. The people who love us and the people we love will always be the greatest treasure you will ever have in life."
His father's words had been engraved on his soul forever. His fervor to protect his loved ones had led him to enlist to serve his country and, therefore, his people. The price had been high. He had gained new friends, young men like himself who felt invincible, but he had also lost several of those people during his missions. The last one would be the one that led him to say goodbye to the army and, without knowing it, join the FBI, where he would meet more people who would impact his life in ways he could never have imagined.
“You don’t think he can do it”, it was not a question. OA knows Maggie so well. The way she’s moving tells him she’s not comfortable with this mission and how they are handling it
Ever since she found out about Clay, she had been quite suspicious of him. She didn't seem entirely convinced, and OA had simply avoided taking the conversation any further.
For OA, Clay was the guy who saved his life, and all this time, he hadn't found the courage to explain to Maggie the real reason for his loyalty to the man. He didn't know how to look at her and tell her that for almost a month, he had been a prisoner of war, faced horrible things, and watched Noah lose his life without being able to help him.
“You're going to get your partner killed.” Every time Quinn said that to him, he remembered every comrade he had seen die. He remembered Noah's pale face, whose features had once conveyed the confidence of a young man in his twenties but now conveyed only the terror of imminent death. So he swore to himself that no matter what it took, no matter what sacrifices he had to make, his partner would always be safe.
“It’s not that. It’s the-” But now, he needed Maggie to trust what they were doing, so he didn't think about it; he just said it. She wouldn't judge him, so that he would open the door he kept closed to prevent all the memories from haunting him at night.
“ok, listen.”
“My last tour,” She was already looking at him when he looked at her.
“Yeah,” she replied as she shifted in her seat toward him
“My platoon had an Afghan source go south. He set us up. We got ambushed, and in the fight, I got separated with one of my guys.” He still vividly remembers the confusion and sudden anger that overwhelmed him when he realized the extent of the betrayal.
“The Taliban captured us, imprisoned us in a compound, beatings daily.” He watched her lower her gaze.
“Barely any food or water for 22 days. Noah didn’t make it. And I thought I was gonna die in that cell, too,” he confessed as he played with his hands
“So, what happened?”
“Day 23, Clay’s platoon raids the compound. He is the first through the door.” He remembers how he was just standing there waiting for the moment.
And then the noise, the shouting
“He gets winged by a bullet as he takes out two of my captors.” At that moment, he thought it was all a hallucination, created by his mind to give him some kind of hope.
“And I come to find out later that he never got the green light to hit the spot.”
“He took a platoon and mounted a rescue mission on his own, for me.”
“It’s not about the trust between us, Maggie. It is more than that. It’s loyalty. It’s a debt. He may play fast and loose. I get that, but…”
“I owe Clay Voss my life.”
"Doing what I can, Trying to be a man"
A gunshot
That's all it takes for a person's life to end abruptly.
During his training at Quantico, his instructor always repeated the same phrase: “When you're in the field, you don't have to think too much. The seconds it takes you to think about whether to shoot or not are the seconds your enemy will use to kill you. If you're already aiming, shoot.”
And OA fired, but this time it felt so dirty, like betrayal, as he approached Clay's lifeless body, desperately searching for vital signs, he heard Maggie arrive on the scene.
"Jubal, it's over", she said softly.
He could see the extreme concern on her face, but he couldn't say anything. The situation felt so surreal that he could only let himself fall to the floor and lean against the wall. He couldn't feel his legs, his heart felt like it was about to explode in his chest, he couldn't breathe, and he felt so disoriented that he began to despair.
"OA," He heard someone calling him. He turned his face to the left. It was Maggie, holding his shoulder tightly while she spoke to him. He could do nothing but watch her and shed a tear or two.
"Hey, I'm here with you. Can you hear me? I'm with you, OA, OA. You're safe, I promise." Her voice made it clear how worried she was. He felt his ears burning, but he tried to decipher what she was saying to him.
"I need you to breathe with me, you can do it, just copy what I do, just breathe with me", she repeated softly as he held her arm, trying to anchor himself to something so he could come back to himself.
They stayed like that for a moment until his breathing began to calm down, and he gently let go of her arm as he stared into space, devastated.
"Maggie, the team is inside looking for you. Everything okay?" Jubal asked
"We're at the end of the hallway, everything's fine, don't worry", Maggie replied as she looked at OA. She knew he would need some space.
"OA, Scola, and Syd are coming. Do you want to go out for a bit?"
He nodded as he tried to stand up. Maggie helped him when she noticed his body shaking. “Do you need me to come with you?”
“No, I need a moment.”
“Okay, I'll come get you when you're done, okay?”
He could only nod as he headed for the exit and passed the truck that was supposed to serve as Clay's getaway vehicle. When he was far enough away, he threw up
He found a place to sit down and then covered his face with his hands. He felt ashamed because he hadn't figured out Clay's intentions sooner. Even though Maggie and Jubal didn't seem convinced, he had decided to trust him. He hadn't seen the signs, the obvious changes. He simply hadn't expected it.
"You get me through every dark night"
The return trip was silent. When they finally removed Clay's body, Maggie went to get OA. They got in the car, and he stared out the window for the rest of the way.
Now watching the corrupt cop's interrogation, OA stared at Clay's badge in his hands.
"Clay was right," he says as he turns to Maggie
"I'm a Boy Scout. I put the team first, always. That's what I always say."
"It was because of what he did for me, and I had to kill him, Maggie." Over the years, they had both allowed themselves to be vulnerable with each other, so this expression of pain on OA's face was not new to Maggie.
"Clay knew that about you, and he took advantage of it."
"My loyalty was my blind spot," He replied, remembering what she had said to him earlier.
"It's not because of what Clay did for you. You're loyal because it's who you are." It was always important for her to remind him of his courage at times like this, when she saw him falter and give in to negative emotions.
"I'll feel better if you let me take you home," Maggie offers.
OA smiled, "Sure, why not?"
The trip to his house was silent again. He just stared out the window. Maggie was worried that he was reliving some memory of his time as a prisoner. The truth was, she was still shocked and even scared. When he described what happened, she felt a horrible sensation in her stomach. She imagined a young man experiencing such horrible and inhumane things. She considered her twenties to be the perfect age to be foolish and learn, not to suffer to such an extent.
As she parked near his building and before he could even think about saying goodbye, she stopped him.
"Stay seated and listen to me," he looked at her, confused,
"You are an incredible human being, loyal, strong, brave, and valuable. Whatever happened today was not your fault."
"Maggie, I'm fine."
"No, you're not fine. The time for lying to each other is over. I know you'll probably spend tonight blaming yourself, but if necessary, I'll repeat it to you every day."
"That and more, if necessary, I'll tattoo it on your arm."
OA tried to remain serious, but couldn't and ended up laughing out loud.
"Yes, I'd like to see you try."
"Don't challenge me."
"Yes, I mean no, okay, I'll keep your words in mind for the rest of my life, I promise," he replied with a smile as he raised his right hand.
"Mmm, will you be okay tonight?"
He sighed, "I think so. If anything changes, I'll call you. Is that okay with you?"
"Sounds good, so I'll see you tomorrow."
"See you tomorrow, good night, Maggie."
"Good night, OA."
He still remembers the moment he got off the plane, “when he was home,” but felt more lost than ever. He kept in touch with his friends, also veterans, and with Clay, until he disappeared.
Now lying in his bed, finally at home, he wondered why things sometimes went so wrong for him.
He would definitely have to take him to therapy. He wasn't willing to sink into a deep depression. He had already hit rock bottom, and he would do everything he could to avoid falling back down.
At least he knew that this time he had his small circle of people who would support him, whether with words or attempts at tattoos, but they would back him up, and that was enough for him to keep fighting.