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Chapter Text

Harry

October 2004

Harry practically fell out of the floo in the ministry atrium because he was running so fast. He impatiently punched the button of the lift. Tapping his foot and nervously twirling his wand in his hand. “Auror Potter?” A voice behind him said.

He whipped around. “What?” Harry shouted. The person’s face split with horror. Likely due to the amount of blood and other substances splattered across the front of Harry’s robes. The lift dinging and he stepped on. 

He stormed into the DMLE and down the hall to the office he shared with Ron. He flung the door open, slamming it shut behind him, and then ripping his robes off. He tossed them to the ground and kicked his desk chair across the room. There was a steaming, half full cup of tea on Ron’s desk indicating that he would be back soon. 

Harry paced the office until the door opened. “Harry? I heard something crash…” He glanced at the overturned chair and bloody robes and shut the door. 

“I can’t do this anymore Ron. I’m so tired.” Harry said, voice filled with a bone deep exhaustion. 

Ron gave him a sad sort of grin. “Good thing it’s Friday then.” He said with a shrug and went around to sit down behind his desk. “Oh Robards stopped by earlier. He wanted to see you.” 

Harry sighed. He picked up his robes from the floor and scourgifyed them before heading to Robards office. Once inside he sat down. Bouncing his leg nervously as he waited for Robards to speak. “I am sorry, Harry, that today’s mission did not go as planned. Unfortunately it’s part of the game. You win some, you lose some.” He said sympathetically. 

Harry only just suppressed a scoff. A game. It wasn’t a game. It was people’s lives. “Yes, sir. What did you want to see me about?”

Robards grinned broadly. “Well Harry I want you to be the first to know, in the department anyway, that I am retiring. In light of this I’d like to offer you the job. To take my place.” 

Harry froze his incessant leg bouncing and stared at the man. “Sir?”

Robards chuckled. “Yes, Harry. You’re the natural choice. I know you haven’t been here as long as some of the other aurors but well… we all know it’s different with you.” 

Harry swallowed. He didn’t want it to be different. He didn’t want special treatment. He wanted to make a difference. That was why he’d started this bloody job. It was what he’d been trying to do since he was eleven years old. And somehow the work was never done. Everyone always needed more. “I’m flattered, sir. I, uh, would maybe like a bit of time to consider. This weekend is quite busy you see…”

Robards waved him off. “Of course my boy. Miss Granger’s wedding. You needn’t answer right away. It’s a bit of time before I announce it. Let me know if you have any questions or concerns then.” Robards stood and Harry followed suit. 

He took the older man's proffered hand and said. “Of course. Thank you sir.”

↭

Harry sat at an empty table sipping fire whiskey and watching Hermione and Draco’s first dance. He’d completed his obligation for the evening. She’d requested a dance with both him and Ron in the absence of her father. Harry was happy to do it. He was happy for her. For all of them. 

They finished their dance and the next song started. Ron appeared from somewhere outside the tent and led a very pregnant Pansy onto the dance floor. Harry watched all of his friends dance with their spouses. Ron and Pansy. Luna and Rolf. Seamus and Astoria. George and Angelina. Now Hermione and Draco. Neville appeared beside him holding baby Fred. 

Harry looked up. “Want me to hold him so you and Gin can dance?” He asked, setting his glass down. 

“That’d be great, Harry. Thanks.” Neville handed Harry his nine month old son who happened to be the spitting image of his namesake. Harry held the child as he watched Neville spin Ginny onto the dance floor. 

“Just you and me then mate.” He looked down at Fred who blinked. Then burped. He sat Fred on the table with an arm supporting him. “Look at mum and dad.” He pointed to Ginny and Neville. “And Uncle Ron and Aunt Pansy. You’re about to have cousins you know?” Fred simply stared at him. Harry chuckled. 

The night wore on and when Ginny came to take Fred, Harry offered to keep holding him so she could dance. It was a good excuse to remain seated by himself. When he got a little fussy, Harry stood and went outside the tent. He walked back and forth until Fred fell asleep against Harry’s shoulder. Harry looked out over the darkened gardens of Malfoy Manor. Then he turned to look at the imposing stone facade. The memory of torture and Hermione’s screams inside threatening the forefront of his mind. 

At the end of the night he handed off his sleeping companion to his mother and apparated home to Grimmauld Place. He stood in his empty living room, sipping another glass of fire whiskey as he undid his bowtie. He really looked at the place. All the furniture untouched and unchanged. His Order of Merlin on the mantle. A baby picture of him with his parents. Him with Sirius. Him with Ron and Hermione. A large picture of all of them just before Bill and Fleur’s wedding. Ginny and Neville’s wedding photo next to the first picture of them with baby Fred. Ron and Pansy’s wedding photo. An empty spot for Hermione and Draco’s. The framed certification he received upon completing auror training.

The stairs were lined with photos. All left by Sirius. The only one he’d added was of Remus and Tonks when they’d married. Plenty of happy pictures and happy memories. But all Harry felt was a weight. The weight of the past. He could see no lightening of the load in the future. He’d sacrificed. And he’d assumed he would eventually get to stop. That at some point he would stop being surrounded by darkness. But he continued to be bombarded with it day in and day out.

He couldn’t take it anymore. 

He stormed up the stairs to his room. He flung open the closet door and pulled out a duffle bag. Kreature appeared in the doorway. “Can Kreature be helping Master Harry?” The elf eyed him suspiciously. 

“Yes, Kreature. Can you find me the deed to Grimmauld Place, a parchment, and a quill?” Harry asked. 

Despite his suspicions Kreature did as Harry asked. Harry pulled out his drawers and started throwing clothes in the duffle bag. He shoved his muggle money in his pockets. He shrunk those pictures on the wall and added them to the bag. He put his wand in there as well. Down stairs he sat at the kitchen table and wrote out a letter. He folded it and put it in an envelope. 

By the door he handed it to Kreature. “Kreature. Will you take this to Malfoy Manor in the morning to Hermione and Draco? And this.” He fished around in his pocket for the key to the front door.  

“Of course Master Harry. What is Kreature to be saying? Where is Master Harry going?” Kreature appeared to be as unsettled as Harry had ever seen him. 

“You don’t need to say anything except that it’s from me. And I don’t know where I’m going. Goodbye Kreature. And thanks for everything.” He opened the front door and went out. He climbed on Sirius’s motorcycle that Hagrid had returned to Harry after the war. He put the key in the ignition and kicked up the kickstand. 

Then he drove away.

↭

To Ron and Hermione

I’d like to start this letter by saying that no matter what, you two are the best thing to have ever happened to me. You gave me something I’d never had. A family. You’ve stuck with me through the most awful events anyone our age, or anyone at all, should have to go through. And I will always be grateful. You both mean more to me than anyone in the world and you always will.

We have been through so much together. We saved the world. And I do mean We. I could never have done it without you. We have continued to do so. Because we feel it is our responsibility. And maybe it is. But I am tired. So very tired of giving everything I have and remaining steeped in darkness. 

It haunts me as I know it haunts both of you. I never wanted to be the Chosen One. It isn’t a fate I would wish on anyone. I’ve always wondered what my life would have been. What it could be. So, I’m afraid to stay. If I continue to do the job that I’ve been doing since we were eleven I’ll never know a day's peace. 

I want nothing more than to be able to remain, to separate this feeling of unease and darkness that has settled in my bones and stay with you all. But I don’t think I can. 

I need to be just Harry. I can’t do that here, so I’m leaving. I hope someday you will understand. 

Just a couple things I’d like you to do. First and foremost; please make sure that baby Fred and any future children you have know that I love them. Second; make sure that everyone else knows I love them and that I’m sorry. 

Finally, I have written to Robards to turn down the position of head auror and recommended that he choose Ron in my stead. Ron, I believe you’ll do much better at the job than I ever could. Also, in this envelope is the deed to Grimmauld Place which I have signed over to Draco and Hermione, as Draco’s birthright as the last Black descendant, and to pass on to any children you may have. 

I love you both more than you know.

I’m sorry,

Harry

Chapter Text

Luna

September 2009

“Lovegood, come look at this.” Draco called from several rows over. 

Luna wove through the rows and rows of glass orbs containing various prophecies that were housed in the Department of Mysteries. Her friends had thought her crazy, which is to say no crazier than usual, when she decided to pursue a career in the department. Let alone this division of the department. 

The site of their fight with the Death Eaters in fifth year. One of which being Draco’s father. A lot had happened that day. But she’d felt relieved to be of use. Proud that Harry had wanted her there along with the others. It had been a long time though and she loved her job. She and Draco had become fast friends, working closely together through the years. 

She approached the end of the row at the center of the room where the shelves met in the middle. As she approached she found him deep in thought and studying something on the shelf. He pointed as she neared. There at the end was one of the glass balls, usually a glowing smoky white, this one was black. “How strange.” She tilted her head to the side. “Has this one always been like this?” 

“I can’t say. I’ve never noticed, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t the case. There are thousands here.” He replied. 

They were currently in the middle of the very long process of inventory. Hermione, who was head of the department, had requested it. She was hoping to overhaul the organization and retrieval process of the prophecies. “Well perhaps we should look at it.” She suggested.

He nodded, reaching out to take it off the shelf. He walked slowly, with it cradled in his hands, to the door. The two of them had created a reader for the prophecies. Traditionally they couldn’t be retrieved or viewed by anyone except those who the prophecy was about. It worked similarly to a pensieve but rather than a vial of memories the orbs were placed inside and it displayed the prophecy in writing across the surface of the water.

She followed behind him closely. The bowl was in the next room and rested on the platform with the doorway to the Veil. He took careful steps up. They both stood next to it, backs to the veil, as he began to lower the orb. As it touched the surface, it shattered into thousands of pieces in his hands. Glass sprayed around them on the floor, floating in the water, and hitting them. A ball of black smoke hovered over the water, but no words appeared. They leaned over to look at it. 

She glanced down to see blood dripping into the water. “Draco! You’re bleeding.” 

He glanced down at his hand absently. “Oh, so I am.” He said calmly as if observing something simple.  

He stepped backwards, away from the bowl. Slipping on the tiny pieces of glass he threw his arm out, grabbing the edge of the doorway to brace himself from falling. Everything happened so quickly that Luna hadn’t any time to process what was happening. 

When his hand, the bloody one, touched the doorway the veil changed from a faint white to red. The blood from his hand swirled along the patterns of the doorframe. At the look of panic on her face he turned to see what he’d done. He backed up again. The door frame began to vibrate. They each pulled out their wands. A gust of wind hit them in the face and they heard an overwhelming amount of screams and voices. 

She could hear the rattle of the orbs on the shelves one room over as they began to vibrate. “Go get Hermione!” He yelled over the cacophony of voices. 

She’d turned on her heel to go down the steps when a shadowy, black figure appeared in the veil, stepping out and immediately crumpling to the floor on their hands and knees. Draco moved to tuck her behind him. “Lovegood, go get Hermione.” 

“Hermione…” The figure on the floor said in a raspy voice. He lifted his head and she and Draco looked into the face of Sirius Black. 

His eyes locked on Draco and his face contorted in rage. He stood on unsteady feet, summoning Luna’s wand right out of her hand. “Filthy Death Eater!” He yelled in an angry voice, pointing the wand as a bolt of green light shot out. 

Draco dropped and rolled to the floor, popping up and throwing a hex. “Luna! Go! Get Ron!” 

She watched them frantically for a moment, throwing spells at each other, then dashed for the exit. As she was leaving she heard Draco shout again, “Sirius! Stop, it’s not what you think.”

“Liar!” Was his reply. “You should be dead, you and your father both!”

Luna took a sharp turn down the hallway to Hermione’s office, bursting through the door. “Hermione! Call Ron and come with me!” 

Hermione cast her patronus, sending a message to Ron in the auror office then followed her down the hall. They burst through the doors. The smell of smoke and crackle of curses filled the air. 

“Draco!” Hermione shouted, running towards him. But as she approached, she saw him. Sirius. 

The spells stopped. “Hermione?” The weariness in Sirius’s voice made Luna sad. It had been almost fifteen years since Sirius had been thrust into the veil by a curse from Bellatrix Lestrange. Luna could still hear Harry’s cry. Still feel the agony and loneliness radiating from him as he watched Sirius disappear, never to be seen again. The only family he’d ever had. 

Sirius crumpled to the floor unconscious just as Ron burst into the room. “Bloody hell, what happened here?” He asked, wand drawn. His feet crunched on glass as he made his way to where Luna, Draco, and Hermione stood. “What’s…” He froze. “Is that?” He crept towards Sirius’s unconscious form and knelt next to him, pressing his fingers into his throat, feeling for a pulse. “Good Godric.” He whispered.

“Is he still alive?” Draco asked quietly. Quite obviously feeling guilty for having fought him.

“Yes. Well. Still, I don’t know. Currently, yes. This is confusing.” Ron said. 

“Perhaps we should take him to St. Mungos.” Luna suggested, watching her friends deliberate. Ron and Hermione were too stunned to see him and Draco distracted by having just been in the middle of a duel.

They disillusioned Sirius so as not to stir any panic as they moved him through the ministry atrium, levitating him between them. Ron cleared the way as they walked, people looked rather suspicious but Ron glared and they went about their business. 

Draco walked beside her quietly, hands in his pockets. “It isn’t your fault you know.” She said. 

“What?” 

“You’re blaming yourself, but it isn’t your fault. Not this or the fact that he was gone in the first place.” Luna said, hand on his arm. 

One side of his mouth lifted into a sad smile. “Thanks Luna, but I’m probably still going to feel guilty for a while.” 

“I know. You always do. That’s what makes you different from those he thought he was fighting.” Luna nodded her head to the disillusioned form of Sirius. “You aren’t what he called you. You never were.”

“You know I think I’ll stay here unless you all need my help.” He said quietly. “Start cleaning up that mess.” He walked ahead to where Hermione walked next to Ron. He stopped them and whispered to her, kissed her on the cheek, and waved to Luna as he turned to go back to the department. 

Once inside St. Mungos, Hermione and Ron went to explain as best they could to the director. Luna waited in a closed room with Sirius, who was still unconscious. She studied him. Though he wasn’t awake she could feel the pain and heartbreak. Could see it in the lines of his face. He looked just the same as he had when he’d died. Gone. She wasn’t sure how to explain it. She remembered hearing it happen, but didn’t see. All she could see in her mind's eye from that awful moment was Harry. Hopeless on the floor. Her heart ached for the boy he was and the man he became. 

A few moments later the door opened and Hermione, Ron, the hospital director, and Hannah Abbott who was a healer, came in. 

“I’d like to keep this under wraps for now.” The director said seriously. 

“Yes, that would be best. We don’t want panic or people thinking they can summon their dead loved ones back from the veil.” Hermione said sagely. “Ron is going to set up a rotation of aurors to guard the room. I’m afraid I’ll need to go and assess the damage. Luna, can you stay and answer their questions?” Hermione asked. 

“Of course. Ought one of you to be here when he wakes, to explain. He will trust you.” Luna asked, looking between Hermione and Ron. 

“We aren’t sure what will happen when he wakes. We will need to run a few tests to determine whether or not he’s…dead. It might be best to have an auror on guard in case he is…unstable.” Hermione trailed off. As confused as the rest. 

Hermione, Ron, and the director left and Luna sat down with Hannah. “First things first, you were there when he… went into the veil, correct?” Hannah asked, retrieving a notebook and quill. 

“Yes, Bellatrix Lestrange hit him with a knockback jinx I believe, and it knocked him through the doorway into the veil as far as I’m aware. I didn’t see it directly.” Luna said. 

“So as far as you know, he wasn’t dead before that happened?” She asked.

“No.” Luna replied. 

“And today what happened. As much as you can tell me. I know your work is classified.” Hannah added. 

“Yes of course. Draco and I were working on something and keeping the details of the project quiet, he cut his hand which was bleeding. He stumbled backwards, bracing himself on the door frame with his bloodied hand and when he did so, it turned the frame red. It was a moment later when Sirius stumbled out. He rose to see Draco, and for obvious reasons began throwing curses at him. They dueled and I didn’t see it all as I went to retrieve Hermione but when I returned with her, he saw her and fainted promptly thereafter.” Luna explained. 

“So you don’t believe his fainting or falling was a result of anything Mr. Malfoy did?” Hannah asked. Luna knew she had to ask, but she still hated it. Even after all this time, some people were still suspicious of him and he didn’t deserve it. 

“No. He was only using defensive, low level spells.” Luna said. 

“You say they were dueling. Did he have his wand then?” Hannah asked curiously. 

Luna shook her head. “No, he summoned mine right out of my hand.” 

“Alright.” Hannah stood, returning her quill and notepad to her pocket. “I am going to run a few diagnostic spells. I’d appreciate it if you stayed. This is unlike anything we’ve ever seen. I thought perhaps one of you may know something to assist.” 

Luna nodded and rose to her feet. She went around the opposite side of the hospital bed from Hannah. She watched as Hannah waved her wand over his body, pulling up a series of diagnostics. From what Luna could tell they all seemed perfectly normal. A steady heartbeat. 

“This is so strange.” Hannah studied the diagnostics. “He seems perfectly healthy. Steady heartbeat. Normal levels. He isn’t even so much as dehydrated.” 

“He appears not to have aged either.” Luna added. “He looks exactly as he did when it happened.” 

Hannah nodded, running several more tests. “We will let him stay under for now. Send word to Ron and Hermione if he wakes.”

“Of course. And if you have any more questions, I'll be happy to answer. Hermione and Ron were there when he went as well, so they may be able to tell you a bit more.” 

↭

Luna sent a patronus message to Hermione to tell her she was going home for the day. When she returned to her small cottage she opened all the windows, wishing for fresh air. The only thing she hated about working in the Department of Mysteries was that it was buried in the depths of the ministry and there was no natural light to be found. 

She puttered around, going out to her garden and picking the last few things left for the season. It was late September and she wouldn’t have it for much longer. She’d need to get a few cool season plants from Neville. As she knelt on the ground with her basket, Gerald, her Pygmy Puff waddled up to her. “Hello there.” She reached a hand out to pet him. “I know I’m home early, rather confusing. But it’s been an interesting day. I’ll tell you all about it later.” 

He was all she’d wanted to keep when she and Rolf had divorced a year ago. It had mostly been mutual. Luna thought it had been harder for her than him. She’d known really a long time ago they wouldn’t work, but she had gotten swept up in it. She wanted to prove her worries wrong. Her knowing things had always been rather frustrating. It was why she lived her life just the way she wanted. No use worrying about things early.

So when she and Rolf parted ways she packed her things, bought this little cottage, and took Gerald with her. She was content. She’d seen enough in her life to be grateful for contentment. To enjoy every day. So she planted her garden, painted in her free time, and spent as much time as she could with her friends and their families. 

“Come, Gerald. Let's have dinner.” She smiled down at the fluffy pink creature and he waddled along behind her as they went inside. She fed him first. His favorite, leftover cottage pie. She set about making her own dinner. A salad with the last of her vegetables. After dinner she did a few chores around the cottage that needed doing, before finally taking her book and going outside. She laid in her woven hammock. It was getting cool but she cast a warming charm around herself and lifted Gerald into the hammock with her. 

She’d lost track of the time when she heard a small voice calling from the doorway. “Aunt Luna!”

She popped her head out to see Scorpius running towards her. She adored Hermione and Draco’s son. He was four and the sweetest child she’d ever met. “Hello, Scorpius!” She climbed out of the hammock and knelt down for him to run into her arms. She squeezed him tightly until he giggled. “Are you here for Gerald?” She asked. 

The little boy blushed and twisted around where he stood. Then he looked up at her with a small nod. “Well he will be very excited to see you.” She turned and pulled the small creature out of the hammock and handed him to the little boy.

Hermione came up behind him. “Scorpius, darling. Remember what I said about not squeezing Gerald too tightly. He knows you love him.” Hermione smiled fondly at her son, running her hand over his head. 

“Yes mum!” He put Gerald on the ground and took off running down the small hill in the pasture behind Luna’s cottage. Gerald rolled down after him. 

“I’ve been expecting you to come by. Though I hadn’t thought it would be today.” Luna said. “Lets sit. Wine?” 

“Please.” Hermione sighed. They sat at the small table outside and watched Scorpius play with Gerald. Luna waited for Hermione to say what she’d come for. 

“How is Draco? I think he was taking this whole thing pretty hard.” Luna asked, looking at her friend. 

“He always does.” Hermione sighed. 

“He knows Hermione. He knows he is different than them. That he is a better person. He just forgets sometimes. Especially when things like this happen.” Luna commented. 

Hermione shot her a look. “Nothing like this has happened.” She laughed. 

“Mm, that's true. You know I’ve been thinking about just what it is that happened and I think I have an idea. How much has Draco told you?” Luna gave her a quizzical look.

“Oh we haven’t had the chance to talk. After going back to the ministry I had to inform Kingsley. I didn’t get a chance to see him there. Then I went to pick Scorpius up from Narcissa’s. When we got home Draco wasn’t there. I believe he’s with Ron.” She sighed, covering her face with her hands. 

Luna nodded in understanding. “Well he cut his hand. We found an odd orb. It was black, unlike the others and when he went to put it in the bowl it shattered. The glass cut his hand and when he stepped back he slipped on the glass and caught himself on the frame of the veil. His blood got on it, swirling around and turned it red. I think that it’s possible that his being related to Sirius and getting his blood on it summoned him somehow. If he wasn’t truly dead.”

Hermione nodded. “That makes sense. It makes me nervous. Blood magic isn’t anything to mess around with. I think that is what’s bothering him the most. My biggest concern is…” Hermione stopped before letting out the thought.

“That he didn’t come back alone?” Luna supplied. 

“Mm, or that he won’t be the same.” Hermione nodded. 

“You’re worried about telling Harry.” Luna said quietly. “Worried about getting his hopes up.”

“Yes. I am. I need to tell him, but I don’t want to until he at least wakes up and we know something. But if I don’t tell him right away he will be angry.” Hermione slumped in her chair and took a sip of wine. 

Luna took a sip of her own. “I think he will understand. I know you want to save him the heartbreak but…he deserves to know. If it truly is Sirius and he truly is okay, then I think it’ll be just what Harry needs.”

“I’m afraid I won’t know him. It’s been five years. He’s never met Scorpius or the twins. We’ve lived so much life without him.” Hermione said sadly. 

“You’ve never been without him. Despite the geographical distance he’s always here.” Luna patted her chest over her heart. “I know he will find what he’s looking for. We just need to let him.”