Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Denki wasn’t one for dreams of love. If anything love made him nervous, especially the thought of finding someone who’d be willing to put up with him for the rest of his life, while he tried his damndest to measure up. It was all too anxiety inducing if he was being honest. 

Now it wasn’t like there was anything wrong with Denki, it wasn’t as if he were broken, but he definitely considered himself to be a bit more dinged up than others. His mind was a mess, he found himself lingering in metaphorical hallways where everyone else had already walked on and he was always trying to chase success with it perpetually just out of reach, knowing he could never quite keep up. 

And yet he tried anyway. He tried and tried and tried, and sometimes he found his efforts paying off and other times it was like he was falling flat on his face. 

But then Denki met Shinsou Hitoshi. Some rainy day in October, and Shinsou was in another class schedule but he found Denki anyway, kind of like fate maybe? They passed each other in the hall, one of Denki’s friends, Bakugo Katsuki, made some comment and suddenly there he was, turning full around and as soon as Denki saw him he felt something thump in his chest.

It hurt. But he wanted it to happen again. 

So Denki found himself lingering on Shinsou whenever he could catch a glimpse of his purple hair, which was not too dark but not too light either. But even if his hair was the most nondescript color in the whole world Denki would know him, by his eyes, bright and shining lavender, or the lines under his eyes that made him look tired but in a pretty kind of way. 

And God, Denki could spend days thinking of the first time he saw Shinsou smile. Not some smug smirk, or a half hearted fake expression, but a real one, followed by a bit of soft laughter. 

That day was the day Denki realized he was probably in trouble. But he couldn’t care less. 

Time passed and Denki saw Shinsou less and less, as life moved along and their schedules just refused to intersect. It was torture but what was Denki supposed to do? Approach some guy who didn’t even know his name and confess his crush? No way. 

So instead Denki waited, and fantasized, and hoped that maybe one day they’d get some kind of chance. It didn’t have to be much, maybe a class or two where they’d cross paths for real. Just something where Denki could get a real shot, an opportunity to get to know him.

And then it came. Specifically a history class, and Denki couldn’t have been more thrilled. Not because he wanted to obsess over this guy like a creep, if he chatted this boy up and nothing came of it then so be it. Fate was fate after all, and if it wasn’t meant to be then that’s that. But because he was going to get the chance at all, that was enough to light up his heart. 

“Denki? Denki!” A voice was calling his name and Denki blinked his eyes open to realize he couldn’t see at all. All he could feel was the light air from his fan blowing cold air against his heated skin, all of his skin. 

Why was he naked again? 

“Green?” That voice asked and through the haze Denki wondered how the fuck someone was even here with him right now. How had this happened? 

“Green?” Denki repeated, an echo of the question, rather than an answer. 

“Oh shit did I lose you?” That voice asked again and suddenly Denki realized he knew that voice.

Oh man he knew that voice.

“Toshi,” Denki said, a small nervous smile on his face. “That you?” 

A sigh of relief was the only signal he was correct. “Okay so you’re with me,” Hitoshi said, audibly breaking character enough to make sure everything was alright. “Thank God. Now, Red or Green, Denki?” 

Denki thought for a moment, felt the restraints on his wrists and ankles, the blindfold over his eyes, the complete loss of control and felt his dick, hard and leaking, twitch on his stomach. “Green,” he decided. 

He felt Hitoshi’s smile, even though he couldn’t hear it. “Excellent,” he said, before continuing his careful breakdown of all of Denki’s senses.

Denki never said he was a strong man. If anything he was weak as fuck, all for one boy who’d lit up his skies since he was 15. 

Hitoshi spent the following moments sucking Denki off while prepping his ass with one finger, followed by two, followed by three. And Denki cried out as he came, too blinded (literally) to see the reaction on Hitoshi’s face. 

If only he could’ve seen his face. 

But that wasn’t all Hitoshi had planned, wasn’t all he’d wanted when he slipped into Denki’s room for the second time that week about an hour ago. Soon enough after Denki caught his breath Hitoshi was sliding inside of him, and sure the blonde could see again, had complete control of his limbs once more, but it might as well have been worthless. Tightly wound, Denki wanted nothing more than to worship Hitoshi, pray to his name and feel him fill up his whole world. 

And his ass too, but that was only if he was good.  

“Toshi, Toshi,” Denki babbled. “More, faster, oh god you feel so good!” 

“Hmm, I love how vocal you are, taking everything I give you. Maybe I should keep you like this,” Hitoshi mused as calmly as he could keep his voice while he sped up his pace. Denki could tell he was more focused now, like he was trying not to have this moment end too soon. “Maybe I should mark your ass so everyone knows exactly who you belong to.” 

Denki knew it was just talk but with that kind of language he was practically coming untouched. 

“You want me to belong to just you?” Denki asked, unable to control the pitch of his voice. “Want me whenever, wherever?” 

Hitoshi groaned and Denki knew he was close.

“Gonna fill me up so good?” Denki asked, trying not to sound like he was begging.

Too bad they’d done this so many times now, Hitoshi knew his every tone and vocal change. “Oh there you are, babe, so wanting and needy, I found you,” he hissed victoriously. “Beg me for more, I know you can do it.” 

Denki sobbed, so close but Hitoshi was slowing down now, trying to play keep away with him, teasing and teasing and-

“Please, please, please don’t stop!” Denki cried, throwing an arm over his eyes. 

“Oh no,” Hitoshi commanded immediately . “Look at me, don’t you dare hide now.” 

Reluctantly Denki moved his arm and God the sight was divine, Hitoshi above him lost to the act they were performing together. 

Hitoshi turned Denki around without warning, thrusted in and out with the tightest grip on Denki’s hips and then Hitoshi was coming hot and deep inside of him, sending Denki to meet God as he came against the sheets. 

“Toshi,” Denki slurred as they collapsed together, the happiest he’d been since he last saw Hitoshi. 

Oh how he loved this man. 

…

As Denki’s eyes slipped closed he missed the longing look on Hitoshi’s face, that moment of self discovery where the whole world turns upside down. 

Hitoshi was wide awake, and well aware that he was completely fucked.

See, this arrangement only worked because they’d agreed at the start that it meant nothing. A need they could help one another out with, seeing as all their friends were committed in some way or another. And even if they weren’t it wasn’t like Hitoshi really had a choice. 

Because for the life of him Hitoshi couldn’t seem to shake the thoughts of this blonde boy with hair like sunshine and a smile like the brightness that fills the sky with daylight, his eyes so golden and perfect to go with the rest of his gorgeous face. 

So almost as soon as they came to the realization they could even make an arrangement like this they’d settled (awkwardly at first) into this sort of routine where they helped each other out, no questions asked. And it worked well for so long Hitoshi thought that maybe it really didn’t have to mean anything. Maybe it was possible to hook up as friends and walk away unphased.

Oh how stupid and naive he’d been. 

Once it hit him how deeply he was falling it was much too late. They’d been going and going for almost a year now. There was no turning back, no asking to return to sender. Hitoshi was well and truly screwed. 

But he didn’t really want it to stop either. What good would that do his heart to cut things off when they were so good together? 

Or at least, they probably would be? Yikes, going from grinding at a party to fucking that night and every week up til now didn’t really leave much room for ice breaker questions, he supposed. God, how’d he let it go on so long, let himself fall practically in love to realize he didn’t really know much about Denki at all? 

Shit.

“Hey,” Hitoshi rasped, his voice still rough, trying gently to wake Denki. No time like the present to see if this was ever going to go anywhere. “You awake?” 

Denki lifted his head ever so much to turn and look at Hitoshi. “Course,” he said reassuringly. “What’s up?” 

Beside them Denki’s phone was dinging but Denki didn’t check it, eyes locked on Hitoshi. 

“Uh, well,” Hitoshi tried. “Um, would you-”

Another ding and Denki rolled his eyes, irritated at the distraction. “Hang on, hold that thought,” he said, already reaching for his phone. “Let me just check this so I can give you my full attention-”

His voice cut off abruptly as he saw what was on his screen.

“What’s up?” Hitoshi asked, aware they were still very much naked. “Nothing disastrous I hope?” 

Silently Denki shook his head. “Uh- I got asked on a date.” 

Instantly Hitoshi’s world threatened to collapse. Desperately he braced himself beneath the rubble trying with all his might to hold it up above his shoulders. 

“Oh,” Hitoshi managed. “Uh, someone you like?” 

Denki shrugged. “I mean, we’ve been in class together for years now so- kind of? I mean, she might be alright…”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“Should I go?” Denki asked, looking up into Hitoshi’s eyes. “Would uh, would it be alright with you?” 

Hitoshi hadn’t prepared for this to take all his breath away, hadn’t prepared for the floor to drop out from underneath him. He didn’t know what to say, not at all. He was only trying to ask Denki if they might want to try and think about what this had become. And that alone had terrified him. Now Denki wanted to know if he’d be okay with him going on a date? Fuck, of course it wasn’t but it wasn’t like Shinsou owned him, or had even told him how he’d been feeling lately when they met up. Denki would probably think Shinsou was being possessive or controlling if he said no. 

And he couldn’t risk losing Denki. 

“Uh, well I don’t know, I mean, she asked you,” Hitoshi blurted, not wanting to sound like he expected anything of Denki. “It’s not really about me.” 

He watched the look on Denki’s face sour. “I kind of can’t believe she did this,” the blonde said, clearly unhappy, but the why was a mystery to Hitoshi. “It just sucks because people think I’m single I mean- no one even knows we do this!” 

Oh.

Hitoshi tilted his head to one side. “True…I guess, yeah we kind of just rolled with it.” 

Denki nodded. “Exactly. And I mean, would you even want that anyway?” 

Confused, Hitoshi stared at him. “Want what?” 

“For people to think I’m taken?” Denki asked. 

“Taken? What like label this?” Hitoshi stammered, unsure of his words or how to calm the pounding in his chest. 

Denki shrugged. “Yeah I guess,” he said, as Hitoshi fixated on that birthmark on his bare shoulder, feeling intensely the blanket he’d pulled over the both of them, their legs touching, still sweaty, beneath. 

“We kind of agreed- but I- uh, I don’t- I don’t want you to think I’d ever stop you from doing what you want,” Shinsou answered honestly, even as every bone in his body was begging him to be selfish. “That was kinda why we started this with no strings in the first place, and I’d feel bad if you felt like I was holding you back.” 

But I want you so badly it hurts. The words were on Hitoshi’s tongue but he couldn’t force them out, couldn’t risk scaring Denki away. 

As his brain worked in overdrive he was so fixated on Denki’s bare shoulder, and the light scattered freckles and blonde hair on his chest, the feel of their legs pressed together that he missed the quivering of Denki’s lip as he tried not to cry. 

“Okay, Toshi,” Denki said, already typing, presumedly to the girl he’d known for years. “Uh, thanks for letting me know how you feel.” 

Hitoshi nodded, knowing he’d done the right thing, and yet it felt like his heart was breaking.

…

Denki didn’t even know what to wear on this date, he’d been staring at his closet for an hour.

And the one person he wanted to ask, the only one, he couldn’t. 

Frustrated at how he couldn’t stop replaying that conversation they’d had in bed the other day, over and over rolling around in his mind, Denki squeezed his eyes shut and tried not to cry. 

He hadn’t asked Hitoshi to meet up in over a week, and now it was the day of his date and he was so wound up he wanted to explode just to release some of this awful energy. 

“SOS,” he texted Mina, who was over moments after hitting send, knocking on his door.

“One sec!” He called, walking over in just his boxers.

Upon opening the door he realized his mistake.

Jirou was standing there in a black sundress, combat boots on her feet. She had her hair done up in a bun, with strands framing her face. 

Oh fuck. 

“Sorry,” Denki all but sobbed, slamming the door closed. “I’ll be out in a minute!” 

Jirou laughed, soft but solid. “Take your time,” she said, as the door flung itself open, Mina this time. 

“Denki baby what’s the emergency- woah. You’re not dressed,” Mina blurted and Denki nodded, tears really threatening now.

“I know,” he choked on a sob, as Mina opened her arms.

“Is this about mystery guy?” Mina asked so quietly as he embraced her back, that Denki wasn’t sure he’d heard her.

“Huh?” Denki asked, pulling back from the hug. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Mina pulled him back in. “Just let it out sweetie.” 

Denki nodded into her shoulder. Taking deep breaths he let his body tremble through the cries he’d been holding in for days. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, stepping back. “I only called you for fashion advice.”

Mina smiled sympathetically. “Oh baby, that is an emergency when it comes to you.” 

Laughing, Denki threw some balled up paper from his desk at her. “Mean,” he accused, as she was already striding towards his closet.

“Here,” she said, after a moment, tossing articles of clothing at him. Denki caught them wordlessly, putting them on without question. 

Nothing good ever came from questioning Mina. 

Officially dressed, Denki spun around for Mina’s approval before heading out to the hallway where Jirou was waiting.

“Nice,” she said, eyeing him up and down, a smirk on her face.

At the approval Denki grinned, offering his arm with a thud in his heart that didn’t feel at all like how he felt around Hitoshi.

Fuck, he didn’t want to think of him tonight. It felt wrong somehow like- like how he assumed guilt in relationships could feel. 

Except he and Hitoshi weren’t in a relationship. Hitoshi clearly didn’t want one, didn’t want to be tied down, or, whatever. 

God he was a wreck.

“So,” Denki spoke first as they got in the car, “where do you want to go?” He hoped she’d thought this through so he didn’t have to improvise. He’d been so caught up in thinking of Hitoshi all week he’d hardly planned for this at all.

“Um, well I know a restaurant,” Jirou said, biting her lip.

Denki nodded, and handed her his phone with the gps app pulled up. “Great, put in the address and we’ll be there in no time,” he said, trying to sound confident. But he could feel himself slipping away into a void where no one but a guy with purple hair could ever follow.

“Sounds good,” Jirou said, typing quickly and handing him back his phone. With light music playing from the station Jirou picked they pulled away from the parking lot and headed for dinner. 

A few drinks later and Denki was actually enjoying the date. He’d barely touched his food but that was alright, he was getting really into talking to Jirou.

“So then he asks me to dance with him and of course I said yeah,” Denki said, not realizing what territory he was beginning to cross into.

Luckily neither did Jirou. “Uh huh,” she said, glancing around the restaurant. Come to think of it she’d been doing that for a while, almost as long as they’d been seated. “And then what?” She asked, clearly not paying attention. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Are you waiting on something?” Denki asked just as a shadow emerged from the crowd. He stared in confusion as a pair of manicured hands settled themselves on the table beside Denki.

“What the fuck is this Kaminari?” A familiar voice demanded, and Denki turned to find Momo standing beside him, face much too close for comfort. 

And much too angry. 

“Momo, don’t make a scene,” Jirou cut in, voice low, eyes wide in shock. “I wasn’t even sure you were going to show.” 

Momo laughed, a wild unhinged kind of laughter. “You thought you could post Kaminari’s hand on your leg in that stupid car he drives, leave your location on and I wouldn’t show?” 

“Please,” Jirou begged, as Kaminari’s eyes darted between the two women in front of him. “I just wanted you to be a bit jealous!” 

“You used me?” Denki asked, realization dawning on him. “For Momo?” 

Jirou glared at the tablecloth, then at Momo. “I’m sorry, Kaminari,” she apologized. “We broke up last week and-”

Denki felt like he might throw up.

But they weren’t done. “I know you’re single, Kaminari,” Momo’s words cut like a knife, “so maybe you think you deserve to just do whatever you want. But if you ever go near my girlfriend again, I’ll end you,” she hissed, before rearing a hand back and slapping Denki across the face. 

The whole restaurant fell silent, as Denki put a hand to his face in disbelief. His cheek was warm, so, so warm. 

And Jirou looked away, couldn’t even meet his eyes. She knew, she knew and she did this anyway. 

“Jirou?” He asked, just in case.

”Don’t even fucking speak right now,” Momo cut in again, her words like ice. “Just get the fuck away from us Denki. Go be a fucking whore somewhere else!” 

“What the fuck is wrong with you!?” Denki yelled, before getting up and running through the restaurant. By some miracle he paused and threw money down on the host stand before bolting to the parking lot.

“Fuck!” Denki screamed as he got behind the wheel, tears flowing in earnest now that he was alone. “What the fuck was that?!” 

Barely paying attention to what he was doing he drove back to UA on autopilot, eventually turning in and finding the parking lot for the post-grad housing with practiced ease. 

With his car haphazardly parked in two side by side spots he flung the door open and ripped off his seatbelt. 

“What the fuck what the fuck?!” He cried softly as he took the stairs to his floor two at a time, just wanting to get to his room and put this whole night behind him.

This whole night was a disaster. He’d never wanted that date in the first place, had never asked for this, had never wanted anyone but Hitoshi.

The one person who didn’t want him back. 

Everything was overflowing, so intense he could barely breathe. Denki just wanted to get back to his room, get these clothes off and pretend this night never happened. 

And then it got worse.

Denki hadn’t been watching where he was going, hadn’t checked if anyone was walking by as he’d ripped the stairway door open, until it was much too late.

“Denki?” Hitoshi’s voice asked, and Denki looked up to see him standing in the open doorway, the doorway Denki was trying to get through to get to his room.

Oh no. No no no no-

They’d almost collided, to be honest, and if the door had swung outward instead of inward Denki would’ve likely flung it right into Hitoshi’s path.

But it didn’t, and now here they were, blocking each other’s path. 

“Hey,” Denki said weakly, reaching up to cover his face. 

Hitoshi looked conflicted, his face twisting into something like pity. “Uh, what’s up with your face?” He asked.

But that only made Denki burst further into tears. “Um, please move,” he sobbed. 

And bless him Hitoshi did, he stepped back into the light of the hallway. But as Denki moved to follow him he put a hand on Denki’s shoulder.

“Hang on, please?” He asked. “Let me see your face, Denki?” 

Denki shook his head, but he didn’t move. 

Gently, Hitoshi covered Denki’s hand with his own. Denki tensed but still didn’t move. Luckily no one else was in the hallway. His phone was dinging, as it had been since he ran out with texts but Denki didn’t want to see them.

He never wanted to see Jirou or Momo ever again. Their games were theirs to play, he didn’t give a shit. He’d never been so humiliated in his life. 

“Can I look, Denki?” Hitoshi asked. “Please?” 

Taking a deep shaking breath, Denki nodded, and moved his hand. 

As Hitoshi gasped, Denki tried to imagine all the reasons why he’d possibly be so caring in this moment, and couldn’t think of a single one.

“Denki, who did this?” Hitoshi demanded, and it was only when he pulled his hand away that Denki saw there were light traces of blood. Momo hadn’t just slapped him, she’d scratched his face open. “You- how did this happen?” He asked, his tone dark, one Denki hadn’t heard before. 

But it didn’t matter. Hitoshi didn’t love him, he never would. 

“Why do you- I don’t understand why you’re caring this much,” Denki said, his voice hoarse. He cast his eyes to the ground. “It’s my problem, not yours.” 

And then he was taking off, not wanting to hear the pity, the fake sympathy, maybe even the question of why Denki had been avoiding him. It was hard to answer any of that without blurting out how much he loved him.

And Denki just couldn’t do that.

Chapter Text

Kirishima looked furious when Denki walked into his apartment, having used a spare key given to everyone in the Bakusquad. 

“Why the fuck are you standing drenched in my apartment at six in the fucking morning?” He demanded as Mina padded into the living room in just a T-shirt.

“Well it was raining this morning but I didn’t want to drive all the way over here I just-” he trailed off, trying not to cry again. 

“Denki?” Mina asked, confused, looking between him and Kirishima. “You owe me an explanation, but come on in,” she said, as soon as she noticed the state he was in. “You’re just lucky Bakubabe is already up,” 

Denki nodded. “Everything is ruined,” he said, staring down at his shoes. “So I just needed, um, someone to talk to?” 

He heard when Mina noticed his cheek from the gasp that escaped her, and looked up to see her hand covering her mouth.

“Who did that?!” She cried, rushing already to get first aid supplies. 

“Momo,” Denki answered once she’d returned with the antiseptic and disinfectant. “She uh, didn’t like seeing me with Jirou.”

Mina barked a laugh, fully awake now. “They’re both dead, don’t you worry baby,” she frowned in concentration. “Just not sure how to go about it. I’ll think on it.” 

Denki shrugged. “My fault for going in the first place.” 

“Oh hell no. Fuck no,” Mina protested as Kirishima began making coffee. “Are you hearing this E?” 

Kirishima nodded. “He’s being an idiot, that’s for damn sure.” 

“Who’s being an idiot?” A voice asked as the door opened and Bakugo walked through, looking confused at the sight of Denki in his living room this early in the morning.

Fair enough, Denki hadn’t really been thinking when he ran for his friends. He was just wanting some comfort. 

And he couldn’t get it from who he wanted most. 

“Me,” Denki announced, slumping against the wall as Kirishima tossed him some dry clothes. 

Bakugo rolled his eyes, and stepped over Denki. “Fuck off with that shit, what’s really happening?” 

Kirishima raised his eyebrows. “Bakubro, pretty sure Mina told you it’s about that guy-”

Denki’s head snapped up. “What? Mina you told?” 

Mina laughed. “About the crush you mentioned three years ago when we were still kids? Of course, it’s me. But imagine my surprise when I see you two leaving a party together earlier this year…now that was a story!” 

Face falling, Denki felt tears filling his eyes once more. Fuck, he knew when Mina was talking about, he’d been so happy then. Now everything was ruined. 

“Oh baby no don’t cry,” Mina cried, rushing for him and crushing him in a hug. “Denki sweetie, it’s going to be okay.” 

Denki shook his head, unable to form the words. “No,” he choked out, still shaking his head. “It’s not.” 

Bakugo raised an eyebrow. “Who is this?” 

Kirishima smirked as Mina stood back up so Denki could change into the fresh shirt and sweatpants. “Shinsou Hitoshi.” 

“Shinsou!” Bakugo cried, pointing at Denki. “He’s that mystery guy!?” 

Denki slowly raised his head to look at Bakugo as his head poked through the t-shirt, hair messy. “Why are you pointing at me?” He asked.

Bakugo laughed, it was almost cruel. “Oh man, oh man. I’m pointing because you’re an idiot!” 

Kirishima frowned. “Wait, what are you talking about?” 

Bakugo, still laughing, said, “Shinsou talked to Deku and Deku talked to me. Figure the rest out yourself.” 

Denki heard him exclaim about needing to talk to Midoriya followed by laughter all the way down the hallway til it faded as he headed into his room. 

Meanwhile Mina’s eyes widened but Denki remained seated on the floor, confused. “What am I missing?” He asked desperately, glancing between his friends.

With a grin Mina wrapped him back up in a hug. “It really is going to all be okay,” she said. “Have some faith, alright? E, call Sero and Shouto. If I’m right we’ll be celebrating next weekend.” 

Denki shrugged, noncommittal. “I guess.” 

“Believe me,” Mina said. “He knows exactly what a mistake he made.” 

There was a long pause. “You think so?” Denki finally asked, as Kirishima blended up a smoothie, his head still buried in Mina’s shoulder. 

Mina nodded. “Absolutely, go get him, baby.” 

…

Hitoshi was having the worst night ever. Seeing Denki in that doorway was like confronting a ghost but there was no phantom this time.

He looked incredible in that outfit, absolutely gorgeous as he always was. Except there were shiny tears in Denki’s eyes and he was covering his face-

someone hurt Denki. Someone had attacked him and Hitoshi hadn’t been there. 

That girl, she hurt him. There was no other explanation. Denki had been avoiding him all week, and tonight must have been his date. 

Willing himself to stay calm Hitoshi reached up as gently as he could to cover Denki’s hand and pray he’d let him see, maybe even let him help.

But he couldn’t help the fury boiling inside of him when he’d seen the scratches on his love’s face. They were still bleeding, solid and deep enough to leave Denki’s cheek hot and reddened. 

“Denki, who did this?” He’d all but pleaded though maybe some of his anger had seeped through because suddenly Denki looked scared.

“Why do you- I don’t understand why you’re caring this much,” Denki had replied, pulling away. “It’s my problem, not yours.” 

And then he was gone, racing away down the hallway, leaving Hitoshi alone.

It was the worst it could possibly be, Hitoshi had tried to let Denki go, praying he’d come back to him, and Denki had gotten hurt. How was Hitoshi ever supposed to forgive himself for this? 

“Hang on,” he’d called out, but Denki was long gone.

Please come back, I love you. 

Hitoshi crawled into bed that night, not sure where to go from here, if there even was a path anymore. Nothing in the world was brighter than that beautiful boy that he cared for so so so much and Hitoshi wouldn’t want it anyway even if he could’ve had it all. A million dollars and a life of luxury couldn’t tempt him if he didn’t have Denki there to see it with him.

If this was love then Hitoshi had completely fallen ill from a broken heart. Life was shades of gray and there were all sorts of souls all around the world, but the one boy who was so alive it was insane had run away from Hitoshi. And if he wasn’t coming back then there was no point in trying to pretend life could ever be as amazing as the past year had been. 

Hitoshi fell asleep having all but given up and accepted his fate, when there was a knock on his door at 10am the next morning. 

Somehow he’d made it through the night with some hours of sleep, though they’d been hollow. As soon as he’d woken up around 7am and recalled the events of the previous night, he’d rolled right back over to try and go right back to sleep. At least when he was asleep he could pretend everything was fine. 

But then something, specifically someone, broke through, busting down the defenses Hitoshi had convinced himself it was time to build. 

“Toshi!” That familiar voice cried, “are you in there?” 

Denki? What was he doing here?

“Denki?” Hitoshi called, sitting up in bed. “Is that you?” 

“Hey, yeah, it’s me,” he called back. “Can, um, can you open up so we can talk?” 

Sliding out of bed, Hitoshi let his feet hit the ground and he padded to the door. 

“Sure, I-” he began, but something gave him pause. 

Denki came back…wasn’t this a good thing? Maybe whatever had happened last night had changed something? Maybe he knew what he wanted, maybe everything would be fine. 

Or…maybe he was just coming to tell Hitoshi he was fine, a lie he was going to dress up in a bow. Maybe this was going to be more disappointment, something Hitoshi knew he should be used to by now. But when it came to Denki he just couldn’t stop hoping. 

If this was goodbye he wasn’t sure his heart could bear it.

So Hitoshi hesitated as he stared at the door handle. He couldn’t take another moment of pain. “Um, Denki?” Hitoshi finally asked. 

“Yeah?” Denki asked. “I’m still here.” 

“Right, okay,” Hitoshi tried, his voice catching. “Look, there’s some things I need to say and I’m scared.”

Denki didn’t answer immediately, but after a beat or two he said, “Yeah? Well, me too. Scared, I mean.” 

“Okay, okay, I’ll um, I’ll go first then,” Hitoshi said, still unable to bring himself to open the door. Maybe he just needed to get this off his chest and then if Denki walked away, well then that would be that. Fate, and all that bullshit. 

But he knew he couldn’t bear to watch Denki leave after all this week of being away from him already, much less what happened last night. 

“You still there?” Denki asked softly.

Hitoshi nodded, realizing he needed to actually say something. “Yeah, sorry. So listen, Denki, when I came here years ago I promised myself I wouldn’t make a single friend who could stop me from getting to my dreams of being someone who took care of people.” 

Denki didn’t answer, so Shinsou continued.

“But then I met you and we’ve kind of had this thing going for a while and it didn’t seem like a bad thing- not at all, actually.” 

“Toshi?” Denki asked, his voice soft, softer than Shinsou had ever heard it. “Can you please open the door, so I can see your face?” 

Hitoshi’s breath caught. But he pressed on.

“But Denki, I couldn’t stop how my heart would pound whenever I thought of seeing you soon. I couldn’t stop myself from the disappointment if you had to cancel or if I had to postpone. I didn’t understand the feelings, they crept up on me.” 

“Toshi, please,” Denki begged, the wooden door might as well have been miles between them. Hitoshi heard him press his hand to the door, trying to reach him through the space between. “Don’t do this.” 

“Denki,” Hitoshi felt his face grow warm and his eyes started to prick with tears burning in the corners. Oh God how he wanted to close the distance. “I didn’t want you to go on that date.” 

He heard Denki’s breath stop. There was a beat, and then another, like he couldn’t exhale or take in air. 

Then, finally, Denki spoke again. “You can open the door Toshi,” Denki said as more of a plea, a bit desperate. “I understand now.” 

Hitoshi put his hand on the knob but he hesitated. Opening this door meant opening himself and his heart up to more pain. He couldn’t guarantee anything-

except for how much he loved Denki. 

With a shaking hand, Hitoshi steeled himself for goodbye and opened the door.

And there he was, tears flowing down his face, golden eyes tired and pained, his blonde hair having lost all its life and vibrancy. Not a single gorgeous smile in sight. 

“Hitoshi-” Denki looked so defeated, but also relieved, rushing in to wrap Hitoshi in a hug that threatened to crush him, but was also all that was keeping Hitoshi from falling over all at once.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Hope was blooming in Hitoshi’s chest, Denki wasn’t leaving. Denki wasn’t leaving. 

“This wasn’t how I wanted to tell you,” Hitoshi cut in, pressing his face into Denki’s shoulder. God, he’d even missed the smell of Denki that used to linger on his bed but had dissipated with the days going by. “I was trying to ask you before but when you brought up the date-”

Denki took a shuddering breath before speaking in a voice that Hitoshi had never heard sound so small. “I never should have even considered it I just-”

Hitoshi pulled away now to meet his eyes, cutting back in to get his words out while he could still keep his composure, tears threatening any moment to start falling, “I thought you only wanted our arrangement, that you only considered the date because you didn’t want to be with just me.” Hitoshi could barely meet his eyes but he knew he had to. “I didn’t realize what you were asking me.” 

Denki tried to meet Hitoshi’s gaze, nodding fast and unrestrained as tears continued to fall. “I thought you didn’t want me for real, didn’t want to be seen with me, or tied to me,” he said in a rush, closing his eyes in fear. “You’d never said you did, so I just assumed you didn’t want me.” 

“I should have,” Hitoshi apologized, nodding, and Denki’s eyes flew open. “You’re right. I should have never let you believe those things, I should have told you how I felt then, I should have been more selfish.” 

Denki took a deep breath. “Be selfish, Toshi,” he begged. “Please.” 

“I’m in love with you,” Hitoshi admitted, before he could hold the words back, or stop himself with another stupid excuse. “And this wasn’t how I wanted to tell you, or ask you to be with me.” 

Denki’s eyes blurred with tears. “It’s okay, Toshi. It’s more than okay, baby.” 

“I’m sorry,” Hitoshi said softly. “I’m sorry I couldn’t face my feelings.” 

But Denki was right there to meet his heart where he was offering it in the palms of his hands. “I love you too, Toshi. I’m sorry I almost fucked up everything- I didn’t ever want to go on that stupid date.” 

Hitoshi was trying not to cry, unable to believe this was really happening. “Go out with me instead?” He asked, his voice so soft, and Denki nodded.

“Yes, a million times,” he said, before putting two hands on Hitoshi’s chest and shoving him fully back into the room, kicking the door closed behind him. They kissed as they walked, lips meeting over and over, heated with all the want and desire they’d been holding back. 

Hitoshi reached down to cup Denki’s ass, oh god how he’d missed this man, lifting him up and Denki leaped into the embrace, wrapping his legs around Hitoshi’s waist. 

“I missed you so much,” Denki sobbed, throwing his head back as Hitoshi leaned in to kiss and bite at his neck, eliciting beautiful sounds he’d come to associate with working Denki up over the past year. 

“Can’t possibly be as much as I missed you,” Hitoshi argued, knowing it didn’t need to be a competition but he wanted Denki to know how much his heart had ached for him. “Wondered constantly if I’d just made the worst mistake of my life.” Another kiss, another bite. “I even talked to Midoriya-”

“Midoriya!” Denki echoed like an accusation. He leaned his head back up immediately, wriggling until Hitoshi, surprised by the sudden burst of energy, let him go. As soon as his feet were on the ground Denki hopped up on the bed, looking excitedly at Hitoshi. “Bakugo said Midoriya talked to you! And he told me to figure it out! I get it now!” 

Hitoshi blinked, stunned. Meanwhile Denki looked thrilled to have uncovered this information. “Did they tell you what I said?” Hitoshi asked cautiously.

Denki shook his head. “Nope, but I know how I was with my friends, so…,” he trailed off, staring at Hitoshi who was suddenly incredibly aware that he was in a t-shirt and boxers, feeling incredibly vulnerable and exposed, half a tent showing. “But now everything is okay,” he said, a soft smile on his face. 

Hitoshi nodded, noticing the energy shift. “Yeah, we’re okay,” he agreed, approaching the bed and crawling onto it so Denki had to scoot back. “We’re more than okay,” Hitoshi said, dropping his voice with obvious intent. 

Denki, catching on quick, swallowed hard. He glanced down at Hitoshi’s thin boxers that hid absolutely nothing, and then turned hungry eyes up at Hitoshi’s face. “More than okay,” he agreed. 

Smirking, Hitoshi kept closing the distance until Denki was trapped underneath him, and Hitoshi could grind down in a slow roll of his hips. “I want to know,” Hitoshi said, “exactly how bad you missed me.” 

“What about you?” Denki choked out as he started roaming Hitoshi’s body with his hands, from his neck to scratching down his back until he grabbed the bottom of Hitoshi’s t-shirt and tugged. “How bad did you miss me?” 

Catching on, Hitoshi crossed his arms and pulled the shirt up over his head, knees digging into his mattress as he sat up. Before him, Denki began to shimmy out of his pants, sliding his legs out from between Hitoshi’s thighs to pull his pants off and toss them away. Hitoshi watched as Denki’s shirt went next, his jacket having already been flung away before he got on the bed. 

Down to just their boxers, they looked at one another, both wanting to fulfill something they’d never expected when they started all this so long ago. 

“I’m not just going to fuck you this time, like it means nothing, okay?” Hitoshi asked, finding his voice first. “It’s not just- I can’t just do that so casually, not anymore.” 

Denki nodded, understanding. “Because you love me, right Toshi?” 

“With my whole heart,” Hitoshi promised. 

“Good, cause I love you too,” Denki spoke against Hitoshi’s lips, which he’d sat up to meet in a soft kiss. “Now let’s prove it,” he challenged, before wrapping his arms around Hitoshi’s neck and gently pulling him to him. Together they fell back against the pillows and blankets, Hitoshi following without hesitation, a willing victim to this man’s desires.

He’d give Denki anything he wanted. 

…

Denki’s heart was so full he thought it might burst.

All he’d hoped for was a chance, no matter how small to explain himself, and that was it. If after it was all on the table Hitoshi still wanted to go separate ways, or couldn’t forgive Denki then that was okay, he’d understand. But all he’d wanted was a chance.

Now he was here, under Hitoshi and wondering if maybe miracles were real after all. 

“Tell me how you want it baby,” Hitoshi murmured into Denki’s ear, having moved from kissing his lips to kissing along his jaw over to his ear where he bit down on his lobe and tugged gently. “You want me to fuck you nice and deep, or suck you off first?” 

“Oh fuck, please, I need your mouth,” Denki pleaded, his cock twitching in his boxers. “Need it so bad.” 

“I love how you beg,” Hitoshi said softly, appreciative, as he slid down Denki’s body leaving kisses in his wake, reaching a hand up to gently play with Denki’s right nipple and then the left, until there were even more beautiful moans falling from his love’s mouth. “God you’re beautiful.” 

“I’m the lucky one,” Denki managed between increasing panting breaths as Hitoshi started licking at his cock, teasing and worshiping all at once. “I get to see you like this.”

“Only you,” Hitoshi promised and Denki was hit with how true that was, throwing his head back right as Hitoshi took as much of Denki as he could into his mouth. With all this love it was even more intense than it had ever been before, Hitoshi’s lips wrapping around him, and it was so so warm Denki cried out softly. 

“Toshi,” Denki pleaded, as Hitoshi paused like this, then after a beat or two lifted up and then slowly back down then another pause til he started back up again, just patiently working Denki up as much as he could. And it was having every effect he wanted and then some. Denki felt like he’d been slammed underwater, everything was muffled except the feeling of Hitoshi inching him closer and closer and closer, and the sounds of him, absolutely filthy. 

“Please, baby,” Denki pleaded as he felt himself getting so close he could almost reach it, only to feel the beautiful excruciating frustration of Hitoshi pausing at just the right time to take that sweet release away. “Oh fuck I can’t take this teasing.” 

“But you’re being so good,” Hitoshi praised, eyes shining as he met Denki’s desperate gaze. “Just a little longer I know you can do it.” 

Denki moaned, and nodded. “Okay, Toshi, okay,” he agreed. 

Hitoshi hummed happily and sank back down again, Denki moving his hand from where he’d fisted the sheets, to lightly grab onto Hitoshi’s hair. 

“Oh fuck,” Hitoshi moaned, and Denki grinned, taking ever so slight control now of the pace. 

“I love you so much Toshi, and you look so good on me,” Denki gasped as Hitoshi began to lick around his cock in little half circles while taking all of Denki that he could, locked in. 

One moment passed, then another and another and finally Denki cried out a warning before he was coming, Hitoshi humming as Denki’s cock pulsed, patient. Watching the look on Denki’s face he swallowed once then once more to take it all before rising up with a smirk on his lips.

And Denki was gasping from overstimulation, releasing Hitoshi’s hair, so elated and in love he could hardly stand it. 

But Hitoshi was far from done. 

He took two fingers and waited for Denki to look at him before offering them. Still in a haze of happiness Denki took a second to recognize what Hitoshi was asking but he quickly obliged, taking the fingers in his mouth and sucking obscenely. 

As he did Hitoshi praised him over and over, “so beautiful, Denki, look at you you’re so good baby,” before finally removing his fingers from the blonde’s mouth. “Turn over,” he commanded and Denki happily obeyed, flipping over onto his hands and knees, ass presented. 

Without any more stalling Hitoshi ran his hand down Denki’s back, watching it arch until finally he got to where his love’s hole was just begging to be filled. Teasing, he circled around with one finger, smiling as Denki gasped from the feeling. 

“Toshi,” he moaned, his cock already reviving as Hitoshi finally slipped one finger in, gently circling and stretching before adding the next. 

And Denki waited even though it was the sweetest form of torture, feeling Hitoshi find and tease his prostate, but never quite paying it enough mind to get Denki to where he wanted. 

Oh God it was so much but so good. Hitoshi, who had been stroking himself to just the sight of Denki so perfectly presented for him finally came in spurts across the backs of Denki’s thighs and the globes of his ass, painting him. 

“Oh fuck, Toshi. Please, please,” Denki began to beg, so teased he finally couldn’t take it any longer, “Toshi, please.” 

“Let me clean you a bit first baby,” Hitoshi placated so he could stall, quickly finding a mini towel in his bedside table drawer. He used it to clean both Denki and himself, just enough that it wouldn’t dry up and get all gross. 

As soon as he hummed in satisfaction Denki heard the movement just before he felt hot breath on his hole, crying out as a hot, wet tongue breached his entrance. 

“Holy shit, Toshi!” Denki cried, sobbing head down into his pillow. 

“Hmmm,” Hitoshi hummed as he licked into Denki’s hole, still teasing as long as he could delay the inevitable. 

“Fuck, fuck, oh God please fuck me!” Denki all but screamed, overstimulated but wanting more, more, more. Everything Hitoshi could give he’d gladly take, so happy he didn’t have to crave it silently anymore. No more worries that this beautiful man wasn’t all his. 

Now he just wanted to feel him inside, full and connected as close as they could possibly be. 

Hitoshi smiled, raising his head back up and looking around for a bottle of lube on his bedside tabletop that Denki was all too happy to pass to him. “Think you’ve been good enough?” Hitoshi asked, still teasing even now as he worked the lube on his once more hardened cock. 

“Yes, I’ve been so good Hitoshi,” Denki begged, “I need you, inside me. Please, baby.” 

Those must have been all the right words because it wasn’t long before Denki felt the head of Hitoshi’s cock pushing inside him, sinking in deeper, deeper, deeper. 

“Oh thank fuck, holy shit,” Denki babbled, so happy to finally feel the fullness he’d been craving. “Thank you, thank you, thank-”

He noticed it as soon as it happened, the moment Hitoshi stilled. And not the kind of stilled where he was probably coming soon and just wanted to enjoy the feeling before it happened. No, the kind of stilled where Denki could feel the uncertainty.

“Toshi?” Denki asked, trying to turn his head.

“Not like this,” Hitoshi announced, and Denki felt him pull out then, before putting his hands on Denki’s hips.

“Turn around, baby,” Hitoshi asked. “Please?” 

And Denki did, he sat up and turned on his knees so he and Hitoshi were face to face.

“Oh fuck you’re so gorgeous,” Hitoshi blurted like he couldn’t stop himself. Denki felt a blush bloom on his face, a warmth in his cheeks. 

“That what you wanted me to turn for?” Denki asked, not disappointed, but slightly confused. “Just a compliment?” 

Hitoshi shook his head. “Nope, trade with me,” he said, moving towards the top of the bed already, gently encouraging Denki to move to the bottom. Denki moved, uncertain but Hitoshi was right there guiding him. “Perfect, now come here,” he said, taking Denki by the hand and tugging him close, until Denki was straddling his legs.

“Oh!” Denki gasped, understanding dawning. They’d tried this before, but agreed it felt a bit too intimate for their arrangement.

Now intimacy was exactly what they both wanted.

“I want to look you in the eyes,” Hitoshi admitted, already scanning Denki’s face for any sign of discomfort. “But if it’s too much you just tell me okay? I want you to be comfortable too.” 

Denki nodded. “No, um,” he wiped tears that were trying to fall from his eyes. “This- it’s more than okay.”

“Yeah?” Hitoshi asked, visibly nervous.

Denki nodded. “Yeah.” 

“Okay then,” Hitoshi said, reaching a hand around Denki’s waist and pulling him close. With shaking breath Denki, steadied by Hitoshi, reached down for his love’s cock and lined it up with his hole. He sank down in one slow motion, moaning as he felt a fullness in a brand new way, all while looking Hitoshi in the eyes.

“Beautiful,” Hitoshi murmured, before he couldn’t take it anymore and threw his head back against the pillows he’d propped up just in case. “You’re so beautiful.” 

“You make me feel insane, like how-,” Denki paused to roll his hips experimentally as he lifted himself and sank back down and oh shit that felt amazing. So he did it again, rising and letting gravity bring him back down, “how could I possibly feel this good?” 

“You deserve it,” Hitoshi murmured. “You deserve the world, baby.” 

“Then share it with me,” Denki said, smiling as he carried on, bouncing himself up and down. He got so lost in the feeling he didn’t notice Hitoshi until he felt his hand reach and grab around his cock. 

Gasping, he bucked into Hitoshi’s hand as his love began to stroke him gently, matching Denki’s pace on his own cock. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Denki groaned, “that’s amazing Toshi.” 

“How bad do you want to cum baby?” Hitoshi asked. “You want it?” 

Denki nodded desperately, his prostate being abused in accordance with the strokes up and down so dangerously good on his cock. “Please, I want it,” he begged, feeling Hitoshi speed up just as his bouncing got erratic, bringing them both to the brink at almost the exact same time.

“Fuck, Denki,” Hitoshi murmured, stroking him over and over until Denki came all over his hand, crying out in ecstasy. “So…fucking…perfect…” his voice trailed off just as Denki started to feel the change coming, the stretch growing just a bit bigger.  

“Toshi, Toshi,” Denki worshiped his name as he felt the warmth begin to fill him, Hitoshi’s cock pulsing thick ropes up inside him. “Thank you, thank you.” 

Collapsing, Denki fell onto Hitoshi’s chest, crying out sadly as his cock slid out of his hole, his hole clenching desperately onto nothing. “No,” Denki sobbed, pleading with every God he could think of to fix this until he felt warm arms wrap around the bare skin of his back. 

“I’ve got you baby,” Hitoshi promised. “And I’m never letting go.” 

Denki sobbed again, lifting his head to meet Hitoshi’s gaze. “Promise?” He asked, ashamed at how small he was feeling in this moment, how vulnerable he must look.

“I promise,” Hitoshi insisted, hugging him close, as close as he could. “You won’t be so alone ever again. I swear it.” 

Denki nodded, nuzzling his head into Hitoshi’s neck. “Thank you, Toshi. I promise you I’m not going anywhere, now that I have you.” 

…

Hitoshi smiled as Denki leaned back against him, seated between his legs as he laughed and chatted with his friends.

It wasn’t like everything was easy, or even completely fixed. Hitoshi had been nursing the cuts on Denki’s cheeks for a few days now, and while the redness was fading the embarrassment was still there.

But they had each other, and whenever someone asked Denki if he was alright, Hitoshi watched as Denki smiled and said he was healing but would be alright soon enough. And if he needed to squeeze Hitoshi’s hand as he spoke, then that was alright too. 

It had taken some time for Denki to fess up who exactly scratched him up, but Hitoshi promised to behave, and so far he had. But if Momo maybe happened to receive a notification warning her that she wasn’t the only protective partner around this town, that must be coincidence. 

Besides, it wasn’t like Hitoshi was wanting to go around looking for trouble. He had Denki to himself now and that was worth everything in the whole world. 

Hitoshi wondered if this was the peace he’d been subconsciously craving when he asked Denki to go upstairs with him all those months ago, having no idea what he was getting himself into. 

But he was so glad he did. All he’d known was loneliness back then, and now his heart felt full and happy. 

“Baby?” Denki murmured, and Hitoshi realized Denki had been trying to talk to him.

“Yeah?” He asked, leaning forward until he was close to Denki’s left side, ignoring the smug smile on Mina’s face. She was the first person Denki wanted to tell, and Hitoshi had agreed. It was worth the angry “if you hurt him I’ll end you” lecture he got from her to see Denki’s smile as he told his best friend how excited he was about his new relationship. 

“Did you want to get drinks later?” Denki asked, and Hitoshi realized this was a group activity he was being invited to as the Bakusquad stared at him expectantly. 

“Uh sure, if you’re going,” he said, still not used to gaining all this attention. He supposed it came with being Denki’s boyfriend, which he wouldn’t trade for anything.

Just another new thing to experience. 

The sky above them was blue, and full of puffy clouds but Hitoshi barely paid it any mind. All he could see was the sunshine boy in front of him, and the knowledge that he was so lucky to have him all to himself.

Finally, happiness had come for him in the form of a beautiful boy named Kaminari Denki. He wasn’t going to be foolish enough ever again to let him go.