Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Joel jumped from his half-awake state, having heard something from the bedroom of his apartment.

He muted his television, listening for a minute. He was just about to unmute it when he heard another thump and a muffled curse.

He jumped up, grabbing whatever was nearest to him, which happened to be a thick book he'd never bothered to read, and tip-toed across the room to his bedroom door.

He took a deep breath, trying to prepare himself before slowly turning the handle.

"Who's there?" He yelled, holding the book in front of him like a weapon. There was someone in the process of shutting his window, but it was too dark to see who it was.

The person jumped, standing up straight as they faced him.

"Well this is awkward," they said. Their voice was deep and static-y, almost like it wasn't their real voice, and they were quite a bit taller than Joel.

These were all the facts Joel could observe about them before they lunged forward, a arm across his neck and a hand over his mouth.

Joel struggled, his yelp muffled by gloved hands. They were so strong, body pressed against his so he couldn't move.

"Calm down, I'm not gonna hurt you." Joel severely wished he had left the lights on as he looked into their face.

But he'd just has to decide he wanted to save money on his electricity bill, because he did not have much wiggle room on his teacher's paycheck.

They had a mask on, and a hood over their head. Not that Joel would have been able to see much of anything if they had not been there. It was nearly pitch black in his room, except for the little sliver of moonlight coming in through his windows.

Eventually, he stopped his struggling, realizing it wouldn't be any use. They sighed. "I'm going to take my hand off your mouth. Please don't scream, I'll duct tape it shut."

Joel nodded, and they pulled their hand away. "Do you even have duct tape?"

They laughed, the sound rich in Joel's ears. "That's your first question? But, yeah, I have some."

"And why are you pinning me to a wall, exactly?"

"Um, well -" they froze. "Shhhh."

"What?" They covered Joel's mouth again.

"Just be quiet!" They hissed.

Then Joel heard it - helicopters. He could see a search light shining over the tops of buildings outside his window. 

Alarm bells went off in his head. Was there a criminal in his bedroom?

They crowded in closer as the helicopters neared. 

Joel swallowed. There was a criminal in his house, pinning him to the wall, while helicopters presumably searching for them were outside.

And yet, he wasn't scared. Not of the criminal, at least. Somewhere, deep down, he felt like he could trust them. Why, he didn't know. 

They stayed silent while the helicopters passed over, the only sounds being their breathing (and the helicopters of course).

Joel probably should call the police. 

That would be what a normal person would do, right?

But he hesitated.

The criminal hadn't even tried to hurt him, and he didn't even know if they really were a criminal. There hadn't been any warnings for an escaped criminal in his city as far as he knew.

They were quiet until the sounds faded, and the spotlights were gone.

"Sorry, those are just my fans."

Joel almost smiled, but he needed whoever this was out of his house. He placed his hands of their chest, pushing them back. "Get away from me." He was proud of how firm his voice sounded.

"I-"

"Get the fuck out of my house before I call the police." The criminal sighed, but stepped towards his window. "Go on," he said, and they hopped out, into the night.

By the time he went over to the window to see where they went, they were gone.

He ran a hand down his face, sighing.

Then he froze as what had just happened settled in.

Had he just aided a criminal?

He was going to be sent to jail. He couldn't lie, he was terrible at it. Oh, gosh.

Maybe he should call the police.

Tell them the criminal had forced him against the wall, and he was calling then now that he had the chance. He hadn't done anything wrong, right?

But again, he hesitated. 

He wasn't even sure if they were a criminal. But then why were they hiding from the police?

He grabbed his phone, deciding go call them anyway. Then he wouldn't have anything to worry about.

His phone was dead.

He supposed that was the universe's way of stopping him from calling. 

He used that as an excuse to wimp out.

School was starting back next week, so he'd been at school preparing for it. As much as he loved teaching, it was tiring.

He was just about to leave for the day when he heard someone call his name.

Professor Littlewood was running towards him, grinning. 

"Hey, Martyn," he called back.

"Hey, Joel. We - me, Ren, Jimmy, and possibly Grian and Scar are going to the bar later. Wanna come?"

Joel thought for a moment. "Yeah, sure."

And that was how he found himself, two hours later, quite drunk.

He felt someone's eyes on him, and scanned the room.

Off in a corner, all by himself, was an incredibly handsome man, with silver hair - though that may have been the lighting. He also seemed to have one red eye, though that was probably the lighting as well.

Joel swallowed, taking a sip of his drink.

The man's eyes stayed on him the whole time.

Maybe he wanted Joel to take him home, or to take Joel home. It had been ages since he'd been in bed with someone.

He was forced to forget about the strange man as his friends dragged him onto the dance floor.

Later in the night, Scar and Grian had decided to join them, but as of now they were making out in a corner. Ren was half passed out, laying against Martyn as Martyn and Jimmy chatted.

He glanced over, and the mysterious man was still staring at him.

"Guys," he said quietly. Martyn and Jimmy looked over. "This guy's been staring at me all night."

Jimmy whistled. "That is quite the catch. You should take him home."

"You think he wants me to?" The stranger took a sip of his drink, eyes still on Joel. Joel watched as he swallowed, his brain already beginning to imagine -

"You think he doesn't want you to?" Jimmy exclaimed. "He won't take his eyes off you!"

"Should I go to him?" Joel wouldn't mind spending the night with him. 

"If you don't, I will," Jimmy said, a hand on his shoulder. "Go on, we'll be able to guess what happened if you don't come back."

Joel stood, waving goodbye to his friends. "Wish me luck." But by the time he got over to the man's corner, he was nowhere to be seen. Joel looked around the crowded bar, but could not locate the odd man.

He felt more disappointed than he probably should be.

"Couldn't find him," he said with a shrug as he returned to their table.

"What a tease," Jimmy shook his head.

"Damn, I'm sorry, mate." Martyn said. "We could try to find you someone else?"

"Nah, that's okay."

They continued talking and drinking for a while, eventually walking home.

Even though he searched, he never saw the stranger again that night.

Chapter Text

The man stuck in his head for the next week, and was still on his mind when his class settled in for the first day of school.

He was a college professor at the local university, and spent his days teaching little nerds, most of them in their last year of college. Normally, he didn't pay his students much attention, preferring just to teach the class (most of them were annoying anyway). But today, one man in particular caught his attention as he took attention.

He froze, breath hitching.

Etho Slab.

That was the man from the bar, who'd been staring at him. He had the same silver hair, same one red eye. Joel now noticed a scar running through it.

He didn't know how long he'd been staring, but then he heard an, "Uh, professor?" from somewhere in the room, and got back on task.

"Huh? Oh, sorry. Somebody looked familiar," he lied, moving on to the next person.

Etho didn't say anything all class, didn't so much as glance in Joel's direction.

Joel kept sneaking looks at him, however.

He was quite the catch.

By the end of the day, Joel was incredibly tired. It didn't matter that these were college students, they were just as rambunctious as middle schoolers.

He sighed, dragging a hand down his face. He could not wait to collapse into his bed and sleep through the weekend. Why they started school on a Friday, he would never know.

To say he was surprised when he saw another stranger in his bedroom, lounging on his bed was an understatement.

Or perhaps the same stranger, he realized, taking in the familiar mask and hood.

He was glad he left his lamp on as he studied their outfit. They had on a pair of red goggles in addition to the hood and mask, a tight black shirt with a green vest, and baggy black cargo pants. A tool belt with a ton of gadgets looped around their waist, and they had heavily duct taped black converse shoes. 

Something about them was oddly familiar, other than the fact that they were the criminal from a couple weeks ago. 

"Huh," he said, somehow still not scared. Maybe something was wrong with Joel. He should definitely be scared. "So that's what the duct tape is for."

The criminal chuckled. "Yeah."

"And what is a criminal such as yourself doing in my bedroom on a Friday night?"

"I'm not a criminal," they said. Joel could hear hurt tinting their voice. Sore subject? "I'm a vigilante."

Joel gasped. "Ladders," he breathed. He could have kicked himself for not realizing it sooner. 

Ladders was the most well-known vigilante in the city. That's what he was - a vigilante. Not a criminal. Joel let out a relieved breath. Joel didn't follow the news often, but he'd never seen or heard anything about Ladders being a villain. Ladders had never committed any crimes as far as Joel knew - maybe trespassing or breaking and entering here and there, but it was only to be helpful. Ladders was helpful - he was always when and where the police couldn't be.

But since he didn't work with the police, they were after him.

That explains the helicopters, Joel thought. "And what is a vigilante such as yourself doing in my bedroom on a Friday night?" he asked, rewording his earlier question.

"Can't a man just come to visit?" 

"Not when I don't know you."

"Nobody knows me, honey."

Joel's cheeks tinted pink. "Don't call me that."

"Sorry, Joel."

Joel's mouth dropped open. "How the fuck do you know my name?" 

The vigilante ignored his question, instead posing one of his own. "How was your first day of school?"

Joel backed up. He wasn't scared, exactly, more like extremely unnerved. "How the fuck do you know this much about me? Are you stalking me?" He grabbed the doorknob, because he'd stupidly shut his bedroom door when he came in, not first checking to see if there was a vigilante in his room. "I'm calling the police."

Ladders was up in an instant, standing right in front of Joel. He leaned in close, and Joel could hear the smirk in his static-y voice as he said, "We both know you're not gonna do that. You didn't last time, did you?"

Joel swallowed. Why did Ladders know so much? He hadn't done anything wrong, didn't know anyone who'd done anything wrong as far as he knew. Ladders had no reason to be there.

He really should be scared, shouldn't he? He should be scared, because there was a vigilante in his house that for some reason knew way too much about him and his behaviours, and was practically pinning him against the door, without even actually touching him.

But he wasn't. 

In fact, he was inexplicably drawn to the tall man.

He twisted the doorknob, backing info the living room, where the bag containing his phone was waiting. He opened the keypad, waving it at Ladders, who was leaning against the doorway. Ladders tilted his head, as if to say, Go on.

Joel's fingers hesitated over the numbers. Should he do it? Ladders had never done anything wrong to him, and if he got caught, the city would be much less protected. Joel had grown up in this city, could remember before four years ago when there were many more crimes and robberies that went unpunished, and people that weren't saved in time.

Joel sighed, pocketing his phone and slumping on the couch. He heard a chuckle from across the room, and Ladders sat on the couch next to him, shoulders brushing slightly. 

He ignored the sparks the contact sent through him, scooting as far away from Ladders as he could. Joel rested his head on the back of the couch, eyes closed.

After a few minutes of silence, he opened them and turned on the television. The news was on, and guess who they were talking about?

"Hey, look, you're on TV," he said jokingly.

"I often am," They replied. 

They fell back into silence, but it was a comfortable silence, not like the depressing one that often filled his apartment. He didn't admit it to himself often, but he missed having company. Yeah, he had friends, but that's not the same as having someone to share his space with, someone who would just exist with him, live with him, love him. As new as it was, having Ladders in his home felt natural, like he was meant to be there, like he'd always been there. 

"Are you ever going to tell me why you're here?" 

Ladders was silent, so Joel assumed he wasn't going to answer. He opened his mouth to say something else when Ladders quietly said, "I honestly don't know." A few more seconds of quiet, then : "I didn't mean to come back. I was only here to hide the first time, but I was patrolling in the area tonight and couldn't stay away."

It was the most he'd ever heard Ladders speak, and he took a second to process the information.

"Do you want me to leave?" He noticed Ladders' hands were fidgeting in his lap. Was he nervous?

"You'd leave, just like that?" 

"I did the first time, didn't I?" He had left the when Joel told him to, barely putting up an argument.

"No."

"Yeah, I did. You told me to and -"

"No, I mean I want you to stay." 

Ladders shut up abruptly. "Oh."

"You can leave if you want, you know where the window is." Joel motioned to it.

"Why do you want me to stay?"

Joel could have said anything. Making Ladders leave would have probably been the smart thing, but he'd never been the sharpest tool in the shed, so he admitted, "It's nice having company." He could feel his face heating up. 

"Aw, do you not have friends?" His tone had a teasing edge, and Joel could hear his smile. 

"Wha - I have friends, I have a lot of friends, thank you very much. We went to the bar last week, this guy kept staring at me." He didn't know why he was telling him this, it's not like he would care. In fact, he was probably bored.

But instead of changing the subject, Ladders asked, "And . . . what did you think of this man?" 

"I don't  know, he was hot, I guess." He heard Ladders' breath catch. "He's actually one of my students."

"Would you . . . date one of your students?" 

Joel thought for a moment. "Maybe. If I loved them enough. Though I doubt they'd love me, I'm just a boring teacher.

After a few moments of silence, Ladders said quietly, "No, you're quite handsome,"

"No I'm - wait, you think I'm handsome?" Joel was blushing, gaping slightly at him.

"Well would you loom at the time? You're tired, so I guess I'll just go -" Ladders stood up, and was halfway across the room before Joel grabbed his shoulder.

Joel reached up, tracing a finger down Ladders' masked cheek. "Maybe if you showed me your face, I'd find you handsome too," he said with a wink.

He heard Ladders stutter for a moment, before he quickly escaped out Joel's window. This time, Joel saw him use some sort of grappling hook-like tool, swinging from one building to the next. 

Joel couldn't tell if he wanted Ladders to come back or stay away. He felt inexplicably drawn to the vigilante in the same way he was drawn to Etho.

Chapter Text

The next couple days at school were uneventful. He was having his students complete a partnerwork project. Everyone was split into groups of two, except for one group of three and a group of one.

He was off in one corner, re-explaining the instructions to a group of girls who clearly had only called him over to chat when he felt eyes on him, other than the two girls that he was with.

Looking over, he saw Etho was starting at him, just like the night at the bar. As if he was looking into Joel's soul, uncovering all his secrets and leaving him bare.

He knew his face was red, but he still excused himself from the girls and walked over to Etho. Etho didn't break eye contact as Joel got closer, but Joel thought there might be a pinkish tinge to his cheeks (it was probably just the light). The back corners tended to be darker than the rest of the classroom, even if all the lights were on.

"Do you need help?" Joel asked him. Etho fidgeted with his pencil, chewing on his bottom lip. Joel had the thought to bite it. Shaking the thought away, he pointed to the half-completed paper on Etho's desk. "Are you working alone?"

Etho nodded once, still not breaking eye contact. "Take a picture, it'll last longer," Joel said. "Or don't, because then I'll have to take your phone until the end of the day Or do, because then you can stop by my office after school and see me again."

Joel watched as a beautiful blush spread across Etho's face, the tips of his ears turning pink. 

"Since you're working alone, I'll be a little more lenient on your grades. Is there anything else you'd lime to ask before I help the other students?"

Joel waited a couple seconds for an answer before turning to leave.

"Wait!" Joel paused. "I - I have a question."

He faced Etho, whose face was impossibly redder. "Yes?"

"Would you like  - do you want to sit with me at lunch?" He stammered a bit trying to get the words out, finally no longer staring at Joel and instead a spot on the floor. "Its okay if not, I understand that -"

"Uh, I thought this would be an academic related question," Joel said eventually. Should he? He didn't want to be rude, but he didn't want to fall in love with his students, even especially handsome ones. The age gap made him a bit uncomfortable, so he tried to avoid such interactions. However, his stupid heart had already begun to flutter at the thought of lunch with Etho, wishing the lunch would mean more than a friendly invitation.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have -"

"No, its okay. I normally sit with Martyn and Ren - Professors Littlewood and Dog, but since Martyn's sick Ren is caring for him -" he realized he was rambling and shut up quickly. "I mean, yeah, I could if you would like me to."

"If you don't want to -"

"I will, it's fine." Joel reassured. "Where do you sit?"

The relieved smile Etho had was adorable as he said, "Uhm, in the cafeteria, by the windows." He was about to add something, when someone else called for Joel.

"See you at lunch. If you have any questions, feel free to ask." Joel didn't stay long enough for Etho's response before hurrying to help the other student. He wanted to do a happy dance like a child. He was eating lunch with Etho! Even if it was only supposed to be friendly.

Joel scanned the cafeteria, looking for familiar silver hair. He spotted Etho at a table with a man whose blond hair was dyed and styled to look like fire. They were hunched over, talked about some papers on the table. As Joel neared them, he realized it was some sort of blueprint for something.

"Um, hi." Both their heads jerked up to look at him, Etho's face splitting into a grin while the fire-haired man scrambled to shove the papers in his bag.

"Hey," Etho said back, gesturing to the two seats across from him. "Please, take a seat."

After the papers were safely tucked away, the fire-haired man looked him over, studying him. "So this is the professor you won't shut up about?"

Etho dropped his head into his hands, groaning. "Tango."

"What?" Tango shrugged. "He's all you talk about these days."

Joel and Etho's faces were bright red. Etho talked about him?

Etho sighed. "Professor Beans, this is Tango. Tango, Professor Beans."

"Nice to meet you, Tango." Joel extended a hand for him to shake.

Tango snickered. "Beans?"

Joel rolled his eyes. "At least it's not Dog."

"Is that really his last name? I thought everybody was joking." 

"Yep," Joel confirmed. "You can call me Joel if you like."

"Nah, I prefer Beans," Tango said, unpacking his lunch. "Is that seriously a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?" He asked, laughing as he pointed to the one currently in Joel's hand.

"Are you just set on teasing me?" Joel was kind of embarrassed, being scrutinized in front of Etho, but he could tell Tango didn't mean any harm by it. Besides, he was used to being picked apart by students hell-bent on getting him to quit. "But yeah."

"You're a grown man eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch," 

"It's a good sandwich," Etho defended. Joel's face was on fire as he rethought his lunch choices. "Don't mind Tango," Etho turned to Joel. "He loves to tease, but he's just a big softie."

"No I'm not!"

"My wife used to make me fancy things for lunch," Joel said. "I'm too lazy for that. Plus, I suck at cooking."

"You have a wife?" Etho asked.

"Yeah, who would marry you?" Tango laughed. Etho shot him a glare.

"I used to. We got a divorce."

"Oh. I'm sorry." Was Joel imagining it, or did Etho look the slightest bit relieved?

"No, it's quite alright. I wanted to focus on my schooling, and she wanted kids. We decided it would be best to go our separate ways," Joel explained. "We're still good friends."

"That's good. Well not good that you're divorced, but good that you're friends. I mean -" Etho quickly corrected himself, blushing.

After this, Tango and Etho began to discuss schoolwork, and Joel was left sitting there like a third wheel for the rest of lunch.

"Alright," he said as soon as it got close to a respectable time to leave. The last thirty minutes had been agonizing - every touch or look shared between Tango and Etho had him clenching his fist under the table - he was jealous. He had no right to be - Etho was simply his student, and Tango his friend. If they were romantically involved with one another, it was none of Joel's business. "Thanks for inviting me, it was delightful. I should head to my class now. Have a nice day, boys."

"See ya, Beans!" Tango said, oblivious to Joel's envy.

"Uh, wait! My class is the same direction as your room, can we walk together?" Etho asked, hurrying to grab his bag and stand next to Joel.

"Um, sure." This man was leaving him so confused. One second he couldn't take his eyes off Joel, the next, treating him like a third wheel, and the next, jumping at the bit to walk him to class? What did he want from Joel

"Bye, Tango!" Etho waved to his friend. "Make sure to go over those designs again!"

"I will," was Tango's reply, and they left the cafeteria, silently walking besides each other.

"How old are you?" Etho asked suddenly.

"Thirty-two," Joel answered. "Why?"

"Oh, just curious." Etho's voice sounded a bit odd, like - was he lying? As a teacher, Joel had plenty of experience picking out the tells that revealed a liar. And now, he realized with a glance at Etho's fidgety fingers, tugging at the hem of his shirt, Etho was lying about something. What could he be lying about?

"How old are you?" Joel asked in return.

"Twenty-three."

As they neared Joel's classroom, he realized they hadn't addressed the first night they met, when Etho was staring.

"Why were you staring at me that one night?" Joel blurted as they stopped outside his door. "Did you recognize me or something?"

Etho didn't answer, instead leaning in close, smirking as he said, "Come to the same bar again Friday night and I'll do much more than stare."

Joel's breath hitched, face heating. Etho turned on his heel and continued walking, leaving Joel stuttering incoherently after him.

How could he be so shy one minute, and so outgoing the next? He was turning Joel on his head.

Joel had to take a couple minutes leaning his forehead against the cool wall outside his classroom before he was calm enough to get ready to teach his next class.

Even then, Etho's words stuck with him all day, and the days following.

Joel didn't have an excuse to talk to Etho the next few days, and Etho didn't invite him to lunch, so the words were left to stew in his mind.

What did they mean? Was Etho going to - No, he was too shy.

"What's gotten in to you, mate?" Jimmy asked as they walked into the bar. "You're never the one to ask us to go, we always invite you."

"Boring week at school," Joel lied. "I wanted to relax."

"Uh-huh." After years of friendship, Jimmy could see through his lies. Thankfully, he didn't push for information.

Grian and Scar were joining them tonight, as Martyn and Ren were still sick. 

Joel scanned the bar, but could not find Etho. Maybe he wasn't there yet?

After an hour and still no Etho, he began to doubt him. Maybe Etho was lying to him or had backed out. It was fine. Joel didn't care. He had no feelings whatsoever for the silver haired man.

By two hours, he was plenty drunk, wallowing in self-pity. Grian and Scar were dancing, and had informed him Jimmy had already gone home with someone, so Joel was all alone at his table. Two people had already offered to buy him drinks, clearly wanting him to take them home. 

But Joel's heart only had one person it wanted to take home.

Or be taken home by, it wasn't picky.

And he wasn't -

"Hey, Professor," a now familiar voice said, arms sliding around his shoulders, warm kisses being pressed into his neck.

Joel nearly jumped out of his skin. He tried to turn around, but the arms held him in place, kisses trailing along his jaw. 

"Don't worry," Joel could smell the alcohol on his breath. "It's only me."

"Etho," Joel said quietly as he began nipping at Joel's ear. "You're drunk."

"Yeah," Etho's hands slid lower on Joel's chest. "Needed the courage to touch you."

Joel's breath hitched. Holy fuck. Etho had gotten drunk just to touch him? 

Joel stayed silent as Etho continued running his hands over Joel's chest. He was already half-hard, but they couldn't do that here. Not that people didn't have sex here - the bathrooms had a notorious reputation for almost always having a couple (or group) going at it - but Joel didn't want to do that here.

"Your house?" Etho mumbled directly into his ear.

"Yeah, but first I -"

"Joel," Etho whined. "I need you,"

Oh, well.

Scar and Grian could guess what happened. Joel couldn't deny Etho this - not when he wanted it himself just as badly.

He stood up, shaking Etho's arms off as he did so. Who knew Etho would be a touchy drunk?

Etho was wearing a tight black t-shirt, showing off muscles Joel didn't even know he had (Joel couldn't wait to get his hands on them), and his long-ish silver hair was tied back into a tiny ponytail. It was so different from his normal baggy clothes.

Joel smirked as he noticed the bulge in Etho's tight jeans. He was doing that to Etho.

Etho grabbed his hand, practically dragging him out of the bar. Joel took the opportunity to admire Etho's arse - the jeans showcased it quite well.

Once they were outside, Etho put his hands on his hips, nodding at Joel. "Right, so where are we going?"

Joel pointed to the right, and Etho followed as they began heading that direction. He missed holding Etho's hand, but apparently Etho did too because after only a few minutes of walking, Etho snatched it again, grasping it tightly.

They didn't speak much on their walk, except for Joel giving directions. Once they reached the building, Etho didn't even give it a second glance before he was urging Joel inside.

They took the staircase to Joel's floor, and Etho tapped his foot impatiently while Joel unlocked the door. Once it was shut and locked, Etho grabbed Joel, maneuvering him into the living room and shoving him on to the couch. 

"Damn," Joel said as Etho forced his legs apart, sitting between them on the floor. "Someone's feeling dominant."

"Shut up," Etho growled. 

Joel almost argued, but Etho chose that moment to unzip Joel's pants, reaching into his underwear and roughly grabbing his cock. 

"You gonna be a good boy for me?" Etho asked, giving him a few harsh strokes. Joel was rapidly going from half-hard to achingly hard under Etho's attention, rough as it may be. "You gonna cum for me?"

Joel whimpered, an embarrassing sound he was not going to live down. "Y-yes."

Etho laved at the head, and Joel moaned in response, arching into it slightly.

"Nuh-uh-uh," Etho tutted, pulling back. One hand held Joel's hips in place, and he began giving teasing little licks to Joel's cock. Never enough to satisfy him, and Joel could only whine in response.

"Please, Etho," he said when he couldn't take it any longer. He needed to cum. The words were barely out of his mouth before Etho was diving down, taking the full thing into his mouth. Joel cried out as Etho swallowed around him. "Yes, yes, yes - Etho,"

He was close - but he needed more. 

He tangled his hands in Etho's hair, pulling it out of its ponytail, overpowering the hand on his hip as he began thrusting into the spongy back of Etho's throat.

"Etho, Etho, gonna cu - fuck." He groaned as he came, and once the stars left his vision, he pulled out. Etho leaned his head against Joel's thigh, face flushed and eyes blown wide with lust.

"I didn't say you could cum yet," Etho panted.

"Sorry," Joel said. He wiped a fleck of cum off the corner of Etho's mouth with his thumb.

A loud ding started them both.

"Oh, sorry," Etho said, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

Once he put it away, Joel asked, "Can I . . . touch you?"

Etho tensed. "I - Joel, I'm sorry. I think this was a mistake." He stood up and began heading towards the door. "I'm really sorry."

Joel's eyes filled with tears. "Was - was it something I did? Was I too rough? I'm sorry,"

"No, it wasn't you." Etho said as he opened the door. "See you at school."

He shut the door behind him. 

Joel sunk to his knees on the living room floor, burying his head in his hands. This hurt more than it should have. They weren't dating, this wasn't a breakup. 

It shouldn't hurt this much.

Eventually, he cried himself to sleep on the rug.

Chapter Text

Why hadn't Joel closed his curtains?

The light was shining directly into his eyes, making his headache worse, and - oh.

He was on his living room floor. Reality came crashing down on him as the took in his surroundings. The events of last night came flooding back to him - sadly he hadn't been drunk enough to forget. He wanted nothing more than to spend the day feeling sorry for himself, waiting for his hangover to wear off, but one glance at his phone told him that wasn't going to happen.

Lizzie: Joel, where are you?

Lizzie: You better not still be asleep.

Lizzie: You're not getting out of this.

Lizzie: I swear if you're dead or something.

Lizzie: If you don't respond in thirty minutes I'm coming over there.

Five messages and a missed call from his ex-wife awaited him, the last being from ten minutes ago. He responded, saying he'd be there shortly. He took a quick shower after chugging a glass of water and taking some painkillers, and left for Lizzie's apartment.

"Joel!" Lizzie exclaimed when she opened the door, throwing her arms around his neck. "It's almost twelve! Why are you so late?"

"I had a rough night," Joel mumbled.

She dragged him into her dining room, where two lukewarm cups of tea sat. "Tell me about it, its noting Therapist Lizzie can't help with!" When Joel stayed silent, she added, "Come on, you know I won't drop it until you do."

Joel sipped his tea, cringing when it was much too cold for his liking. 

Lizzie sighed. "You big baby. I'll go make more. This conversation is not over." She left for the kitchen, and Joel thought about it. 

Since they were divorced, they met up at least once every month to check up on each other. They swapped stories about what had been going on in their lives, chatting like friends. They were friends, a fact Joel was very grateful for. When they were going through the divorce, he'd been most worried about losing one of his closest friends and confidants. Thankfully, they'd talked it out, and there were no hard feelings. If anything, they were closer because of it. 

He knew he could trust her, he just didn't know if he wanted to tell her. Truthfully, he didn't even want to admit it to himself yet. 

But he had to. He needed to be able to face his student. They were adults who got drunk, and things happened. That was all. No feelings were involved and no hearts were broken.

At least that's what Joel told himself.

When Lizzie returned, she sat, cheek in hand, waiting for Joel to speak, giving him time to gather his thoughts.

Joel sighed. "Last night, this guy I kind of sort of liked and I were drunk, and he . . . sucked me off, then when I offered to do it to him, he told me it was a all a mistake and left."

"Aw, Joel, I'm so sorry," she reached over the fable to hug him gently. Tears filled his eyes, threatening to spill over, but he ignored them. "Do you know why he said it was a mistake?"

"No." Joel blinked the tears away, chuckling darkly as he added, "I think he realized I'm not his best friend. The two are clearly in love."

Lizzie looked at him with pity. "I'm sorry. How about we take your mind off of that for now? We could watch a movie? Maybe invite Timmy?"

Joel shrugged.

They ended up inviting Jimmy, and watching a movie Joel didn't bother to pay attention to. When Joel got home later that night, he kind of wished Ladders was there. The vigilante would have been a welcome distraction from the sadness eating away at his soul.

Ladders was noticeably absent for the next month of Joel's life, as was Etho. The latter was of his doing, however.

He could feel Etho's stare burning into him while he taught, and pointedly tried to ignore him. Whenever Etho rose his hand, Joel ignored it or sent another student to help. 

He knew they were adults and he was acting childish, but just seeing Etho made him want to break down again.

Sadly, interaction was inevitable.

Today, he'd forgotten his lunch. Normally, he'd just skip it, but he'd already forgone breakfast, instead opting for a couple more minutes of precious sleep, and was feeling lightheaded as a result.

He hurried into the cafeteria, head down and he waited in line. Stupidly, his eyes wandered over to where he knew Etho sat, and filled with tears. 

Tango was talking animatedly about something, and Etho appeared to be listening intently, a wide grin on his face.

Joel looked away, rushing through the rest of the line, but not before glancing back at Etho one last time. This time, Etho was looking right at him, practically running over to him.

Joel was for once thankful for the busy cafeteria as he slipped into the crowd, lunch tray in hand.

He speed walked to his classroom, letting out a breath of relief when he thought he'd lost Etho. A hand clamped down on his shoulder, as he turned the doorknob, nearly making him drop his lunch.

"Joel-"

Joel tensed. "Professor Beans," he corrected, slowly turning to face the very man he'd been eluding for over a month.

"Joel." Etho ignored him. "I'm so sorry, -"

"Its fine," Joel glared at him. "I understand. We were drunk, things that shouldn't have happened happened. I get it, no need to apologize."

"No, Joel -" but Joel had already scurried through his door, locking it behind him. He didn't want to hear what Etho had to say didn't want to give his broken heart false hope.