Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The jungle is quiet at night. But not tonight, as a storm rages violently outside the cave. Inside, two humanoid figures, feline hybrids by the looks of it, stand, talking to each other. The taller of the two, has a deep, masculine voice, with a long, jagged scar across his face, and a muscular physique. His velvet like pelt is light yellow, nearly golden, with dark spots, and his eyes are dark and grey. A jaguar hybrid. The other, is a female, a panther hybrid with a pelt of ebony, and eyes of shimmering sapphire. She holds a cigar in one paw-like hand, her tail low to the ground as usual.

”This storm is harsh, eh, sweetheart?” The jaguar muses, referring to the female in front of him.

“That it is, my dear.” The panther replies, tail giving a small flick.

Then, a soft crying noise pauses the conversation. The cries are just barely audible against the loud, sharp cracks of thunder. The small sobs are punctuated by tiny meows, signifying a…a baby. A cat hybrid, no less. The male jaguar’s expression becomes annoyed, as he wanders to the edge of the cave, and peers out of the mouth, to see a small basket. Inside the woven basket, is indeed, a baby. Soft, silvery fur covers its small body, and its little tail lashes weakly. It’s male, and it seems very distressed and cold in the pouring rain.

”Now what on-…oh for Christ’s sake. A baby? At our doorstep? Merrel? Can you come here?” The jaguar growls, calling for the panther, named Merrel.

Merrel hears the jaguar’s call, and makes her way to the mouth of the cave, raising an eyebrow as she takes notice of the little cat hybrid in the basket.

”…don’t bother with it, Jaggedscar. It’s a goner anyway. Look at it, it’s weaker than an old man’s bones.” Merrel huffs dismissively, her voice cold.

”Wait, wait, wait. Merrel, look at him. He could make for a good servant. We can use that weakness to our advantage, you know?” Jaggedscar says, his eyes lighting up as he speaks, the idea wicked and appealing to him.

”…hm. Yeah. Eh, why not?” Merrel hums, roughly picking up the basket, causing the infant to cry even more. “Shut up, child.”

And so, Jaggedscar and Merrel name the child ‘Micah’. No reason. They just came up with it randomly. The two raise Micah to one year old, and that’s when they turn the cat hybrid’s life upside down.

To be continued…

Chapter Text

Micah, the cat hybrid that Jaggedscar and Merrel took in three years ago, is a sweet and adorable four-year-old kid. He’s obedient, loyal, and helpful. However, the two much larger feline hybrids aren’t the people they seem to be. They’re actually cruel, unkind, and abusive, using their power over Micah to control and mould him into the perfect child. The cat hybrid thought that these people loved him, that they cared. The first time Jaggedscar hit him, he was scared and confused. As far as he knew, he hadn’t done anything wrong, he was just sitting quietly, reading a book.

Now, Micah lives in a household of fear and paranoia, always waiting for the next act of harm against him. His mother, Merrel, is no better. She manipulates him, makes him believe that the abuse is all a good thing, that it’s just discipline. In the cave, there’s always chores and work to do, and the two bigger hybrids make Micah complete every task.

Right now, Micah is mopping the floor, his fluffy tail swishing idly behind him, his feline feet quietly moving across the stone floor. Merrel watches from the large rock at the back of the cave, her sapphire blue eyes locked on her ‘son’s’ figure.

”Ugh, Micah, can’t you mop any faster? What’s taking you so long?” Merrel grumbles angrily, her tail flicking impatiently.

”S-Sorry, mother! I-I’ll mop faster…” Micah replies in a slightly fearful tone, swiping the mop more hastily, going as fast as he possibly can.

”Good boy.” Merrel purrs sweetly, her voice laced with fake happiness.

Micah finishes his chores early, and takes a small break, sitting in the corner, reading a picture book. His tail is curled at his side, his legs crossed, and his ears flicking atop his head. He can feel his father’s perpetually angry gaze on him, but he doesn’t dare look up. He doesn’t look up when Jaggedscar storms over to him, and grabs him by the scruff, lifting him into the air, his grip painfully tight.

”And what do you think you’re doing, brat? Taking a ‘break’, huh? I don’t recall you asking. Get back to work, child.” The jaguar rumbles angrily, before he throws Micah to the floor, harshly and violently.

Micah nods softly, forcing himself to ignore the pain in his back as he goes back to doing work. He sighs inwardly, reminding himself that his parents know what’s best for him, and that he has to listen to them, always. Later, he doesn’t receive dinner, and is sent to bed without food, as punishment for not asking for a break.

As the years pass by, Micah’s torment only gets worse. Merrel has been forcing him to do weird things with her, like undressing and…getting in bed with her. He doesn’t like it, not one bit. But, if he dares to complain, Jaggedscar will beat him black and blue, like always. The now fifteen year old cat hybrid has been planning his escape for a long time now.

As Jaggedscar and Merrel doze deeply, completely oblivious to their surroundings, Micah, silent as a mouse, makes his escape, rushing quickly through the jungle, leaping over fallen trees and rocks. Due to being a hybrid, he’s technically classed as an Inhuman. Now that he’s on the radar, S.H.I.E.L.D is looking for him. A grey blur against the light green foliage is easy to spot. High above Micah, a huge, black aircraft hovers above his resting form. Then suddenly, he feels a sharp pain in his neck, and everything goes dark.

After an unprecedented amount of time, Micah wakes up again. He winces slightly at the sudden bright light above him, as he tries to cover his eyes with a paw, he realises he can’t move. Of course, his response is to panic slightly, squirming around in his restraints. That is, until, a soft, feminine voice reaches his ears.

”Ah, you’re awake. I wouldn’t try that if I were you. I’m Jemma, Jemma Simmons. What’s your name, young one?” The lady says warmly, a genuine smile on her face.

”…M-Micah. I-…It’s nice to meet you, Jemma…uh…where am I?” Micah replies, returning the kind woman’s smile.

”Micah, huh? Well, it’s lovely to meet you, too. As for where we are, we’re in the Bus. It’s not actually a bus, it’s a plane, haha.” Jemma answers kindly, her lab coat rustling as she walks over.

”Haha…? Uh…why exactly did you-…you like…capture me…?” Micah says nervously, an anxious chuckle bubbling in his throat.

”Well…you’re an Inhuman, and our leader believes you could be a valuable asset to our team.” Jemma muses, as another person, a man, walks in.

”Did someone say ‘leader’? Oh! I see the Inhuman is awake. I’m the Director, Phil Coulson.” The man says, a small, nearly perpetual smirk on his face.

”Oh…hey, sir…uh…your friend here says that you…think I’d be a good asset to…the team?” Micah chuckles shyly, his voice having a questioning lilt to it.

”Yep. That’s right. I’ve had a look at your profile, and you have quite a few talents, young man. All you have to do, is say ‘yes’, and you’re in.” Coulson replies in a slightly cheerful tone.

Micah is quiet for a moment, mulling over his options. If he says yes, he’ll get away from his ‘parents’, and if he says no…well, the opposite will happen. His tail flicks up and down, patting the medical bed he’s on. Eventually, he sighs softly.

”Yes…I’ll join.” The cat hybrid mumbles, as Jemma presses a button, which undoes the metal restraints.

From that day onwards, Micah’s life got slightly better, but there’s still a lot of problems with his mental state. Due to Merrel’s conditioning, he’s always up and about, helping wherever he can. Fitz, one of the two scientists, has been observing Micah’s behaviour for the first week of the cat hybrid’s time at the base. Fitz has noticed how Micah seems to work himself beyond his limits, whether it be a simple chore, or training. It’s a worrying sight. Eventually, the Scotsman ends up talking to Jemma about it.

”…Jemma? Have you noticed that Micah tends to…work a little too hard?” Fitz starts simply, his leg bouncing as he internally thinks.

Jemma, who was studying a sample of cat hybrid DNA, looks up as Fitz speaks. She hums quietly in acknowledgment of his question.

”Yes, actually, I have noticed that. It doesn’t seem…normal, per se.” Jemma murmurs, her voice quiet and laced with a hint of concern.

”Mm…normally, one doesn’t overwork oneself unless they’ve been conditioned to. But I doubt that’s what’s going on with Micah…he’s so cheerful and happy.” Fitz hums, running a hand through his short, blonde hair.

”…hang on. What if he makes it seem like he’s happy, when in reality, he’s not? He could be masking to hide some kind of trauma…” Jemma suggests quietly.

”Maybe. But, we won’t know until something happens.” Fitz mutters, letting out a sigh.

Micah, who has been masking his true emotions for way too long, is getting closer and closer to an emotional breakdown. He feels comfortable here, with people who actually care about him. The cat hybrid’s favourite person on the Bus is Mack, for practically no apparent reason. Currently, he and Mack are in the common room silently sitting on the couch together. Mack, perceptive as he is, thinks to himself, ‘There’s definitely something going on in that feline’s mind’. Out of nowhere, Micah’s hackles raise slightly, as a wave of emotion runs through him. His façade is slipping, and fast. He glances at Mack, who’s looking at him with concern, and hesitantly crawls into the man’s arms.

Mack, surprised by the sudden act of affection from Micah, freezes up, having no clue of what to do. But, when the cat hybrid starts crying, he carefully wraps his arms the fifteen-year-old, but doesn’t say a word. It seems that Micah has been holding back his emotions for a time way too long, and now it’s all flooding out.

”…hey, hey…it’s okay…you’re safe, Micah…just let it out…” Mack says quietly, his voice deep yet gentle, laced with the kind of affection that only a good father can give.

For the first time, Micah feels safe, loved, and cared for. But, his problems still remain unresolved and forever waiting to destroy him.

Chapter Text

It’s been an entire week since Micah joined S.H.I.E.L.D and the team still barely knows a thing about him. The most they know is his age, name, and gender. Everything else though, he keeps well hidden beneath his near silent demeanour. Micah is like a really, really difficult puzzle with some pieces missing.

Micah, mentally unstable as he is, has some…unhealthy ways of dealing with situations that are particularly stressful and mentally taxing. Today, Skye, otherwise known as Daisy, has brought him to the mall to get him some more clothes and some extra items to decorate his room. He trails behind her, tail low, and ears flat, as if he’s trying to make himself seem smaller so he doesn’t get noticed as much. Daisy glances back at him, a wry smile on her face. She’s a little concerned about the bandages on Micah’s arms, but she doesn’t ask just yet. Instead, she chuckles warmly and speaks up.

”You good back there, fuzzball? You seem a little anxious, bud.” Daisy chuckles, a playful twinkle in her eyes.

“Hm? Oh-…uh…yeah, just a little…and-…yeah, I’m okay…” Micah stammers, his tail swishing gently.

After Daisy and Micah returned to the Bus, Micah immediately took his new stuff to his room, and hasn’t come out since. The others just think the cat hybrid is tired from the trip and leave him be.

Meanwhile

Micah sits in his bathroom, on the cold tile floor, staring blankly at a box of razor blades. The underlying urge to cut is there, strong and relentless, but he’s trying to fight it. He has to fight it. The last thing he wants is to be caught self-harming, because knowing how protective Mack is…it somewhat scares him. He keeps sitting there. A few more minutes go by, and suddenly, Micah can’t fight off the darker thoughts in his mind. He picks up the box, and takes out a razor blade, then puts the box back in the cabinet. He glances between the blade and his right wrist a few times, and then takes a deep breath. The feline hybrid presses the sharp edge of the blade against his skin, and pulls to the side, cutting a single line across his wrist. No matter how many times he does this, it’ll always sting a little bit. Micah keeps cutting, until he’s satisfied with the amount of red, bleeding lines.

Micah cleans the razor blade, and puts it in the box. He then fishes the med-kit out of the cabinet and takes out a roll of bandages and antiseptic. The cat hybrid cleans the wounds before wrapping them in bandages. Then, he gets up and puts on his long sleeved jumper, effectively hiding the bandages. He doesn’t want anyone to see, especially Mack or May.

Micah wanders back out into the common room, and sits on the balcony, looking up at the evening sky, gazing at the first stars of the night. The cat hybrid jumps a little as someone taps him on the shoulder, followed by a deep, but kind voice - Mack.

”Hey, kid. What are you doing out here, in the cold?” Mack murmurs quietly, hands clasped behind his back.

”…Not much. Just…watching the stars, I guess…” Micah replies, as he tugs his sleeve down, and subtly avoids Mack’s gaze.

Micah pulling his sleeve down and avoiding eye contact doesn’t escape Mack’s notice. A weird, anxious feeling churns in his gut, but he doesn’t mention it.

”Ah, I see. Well, Coulson’s making dinner, so…come inside soon, alright?” He says warmly.

”…yeah. Got it…” Micah mumbles softly.

After dinner, which was some kind of chicken dish, Micah returns to his bedroom, and heads into his ensuite. He then repeats what he did earlier on his left arm. However, he forgot to lock the door, so…he finally gets caught, mid-cut. But, not by May, not by Mack. Instead, it’s Daisy who walks in on him self-harming. A look of shock, horror, and deep concern washes over her face as she locks eyes with Micah, who looks depressed, upset, and guilty. Daisy eventually finds her voice.

”Micah…? Wha-…W-…Why…?” She says quietly, stumbling over her words.

Micah’s ears pin back, and his tail goes tense, hackles raising defensively.

”…what do you care? It’s just a few cuts, I’ll be fine…” Micah huffs softly, his voice full of forced dismissiveness.

Even as he says those words, he continues cutting, and cutting deeper and deeper. He eventually feels lightheaded, and extremely tired. He’s trying to kill himself. But, Daisy cares too much to let him die. As long as she’s around, Micah isn’t dying. Hastily, she scoops the cat hybrid into her arms, and quickly makes her way to the medical lab, silently praying that it’s not too late.

Later, Micah wakes up, confused and somewhat frustrated. Why, oh why, do people keep saving him from himself? He doesn’t deserve it! He deserves nothing good in life. He looks around the room, noticing that the entire team is gathered around him, all looking concerned and disturbed by his recent attempt at suicide. There’s a bit of anger, too, coming from Mack specifically.

”…why? Why did you even bother saving me? I’m surely not worth your time or effort…” Micah grumbles, crossing his arms lazily.

”Micah…you are worth our time and effort…you realise that, right?” Daisy murmurs solemnly.

”Yeah. I wouldn’t have recruited you if you weren’t.” Coulson adds, fatherly concern in his eyes.

”I-…I don’t really understand why you think we don’t care about, buddy…” Deke says quietly, looking worried.

”…I’m not mad at you, Micah, but-…that was stupid.” May chides gently, maternal care in her voice.

”You’re lucky Daisy even found you…” Jemma whispers, glancing at Fitz.

”Yeah, if she delayed, you’d be dead right now.” Fitz chimes in, his eyes softened with fear and worry for Micah.

“…I-…I don’t know what to say…but…please don’t do that again, ‘kay?” Yo-Yo says softly, her stern and no-nonsense demeanour softening.

Mack looks almost furious. He’s angry that, not only has Micah been lying about how he’s feeling, but he’s been self-harming, too? He thought that the team was truthful with each other, and yet, here Micah is, lying to everyone’s faces that he’s fine. Mack’s eye twitches as he steps forward, holding back the urge to grab the cat hybrid and shake some sense into him.

”You wanna explain your little stunt, Micah? Why you tried killing yourself? Do have any idea how stupid of a move that was?” Mack growls out, his anger overriding any empathy or concern for the anthropomorphic feline.

Micah huffs at the tone in Mack’s voice, hiding the fear beneath a façade of indifference. He rolls his eyes, scoffing lightly.

”…pfft. Stupid? Really? Heh…maybe I just don’t wanna be alive anymore, because I’m done with this stupid loyalty complex I have…because I can’t handle life anymore…I’m tired, Mack…in every way possible…” Micah says quietly, reluctantly answering the man’s questions.

”Do you have a single clue how selfish you sound right now? You act as if you’re the only one struggling! Well, news flash, you stupid feline, you aren’t. Seriously, get over it.” Mack grumbles dismissively, not knowing how harsh and uncaring he sounds.

”…you know, for someone who claims they care, you don’t seem to care very much about me…” Micah snarls under his breath, as Coulson smacks Mack on the shoulder firmly, silently telling him to shut up.

”Mack. That was cruel and you know it. Yes, your point is valid, but do not, ever, call Micah selfish. It’s not his fault. Don’t blame him.” May hisses into Mack’s ear as she walks past, a maternal protectiveness in her voice.

The following day, Micah is allowed to leave the medical bay. Immediately, he goes to find Coulson. He wanders around the Bus, which isn’t in the air at the moment, and eventually forgets that he was looking for someone. He fetches his special credit card from his room and heads out of the plane, and out into the city. He’s going to the mall to buy himself some more stuff for his room. He strolls about the mall, and enters that one store called ‘Typo’. The small store has quite a few things in it, such as bowls, mugs, notebooks, pens, and other homey stuff. The cat hybrid goes to the back of the store, where there’s some lava lamps on the shelf. Micah picks out a jade green coloured one, and places it in his woven basket, the one that his ‘parents’ found him in all those years ago.

Micah continues on, going to shop after shop. He’s an impulsive buyer, and will buy anything he finds cool or interesting. Luckily for him, his credit card has an infinite amount of money on it, but, he doesn’t exactly have the space to get it all back to the Bus. But, he’s stubborn, so he just buys some extra bags. The anthropomorphic feline returns to base with several bags on his arms, and his basket. Micah earns a few concerned looks, but only Yo-Yo speaks up.

”Go on a shopping trip, eh? That’s a lot of stuff you got there.” She says with a small, imperceptible chuckle.

Micah just ignores her, too tired to interact with anyone. He trudges into his room, and carefully sets down the bags and basket on his bed. He stretches his arms with a soft yawn, and begins unpacking, setting up every new item on his shelves. He sets the lava lamp on his bedside table, and turns it on. He’s mesmerised by the jade green colour, the way it glows, and the soft warmth that it emits. The cat hybrid lets out a content sigh, and flops backwards on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

”…ah. This is…nice…I guess…ugh, have to report my day in my journal, courtesy of Jemma…” Micah muses to himself, before rolling onto his stomach and grabbing his journal out of his bedside drawer.

Micah flips to the first page, and picks up a pen off his bedside table. He clicks the pen, thinks for a moment, and then begins writing. >3/11/2015<
‘Today was…good, I guess. I uh…helped Deke with the dishes…uh…I played chess with Coulson…and…went to the mall to get myself some stuff. I may have bought a little too much, but it’s okay. The more the merrier, right? Speaking of which, I think I might have a compulsive buying disorder or something. Anyway, as nice as today was, I’m still depressed, and I don’t see how journalling is going to help’ - Signed >Micah<

Micah then slides his journal into the chute, sending it to Jemma, who has assigned herself the task of being Micah’s therapist. The cat hybrid told her she didn’t have to, but she didn’t listen to him and insisted on it.

Meanwhile

The sound of the chute letting out a ringtone, the one that Micah set up, catches Jemma’s attention. She sets down her current experiment and walks over to the chute. Then, she picks up Micah’s journal. Opening it, a soft yet concerned smile tugs at Jemma’s lips, as she reads the entry. At the bottom, she leaves her review.

’That’s good, Micah. Although, the fact that you’re still depressed concerns me. Also, I’ll look into the thing about a compulsive buying disorder for you. And…journalling will be beneficial for you, I promise ;)’

Jemma then sends the journal back through the other chute, a worried glint in her eyes. Micah is going to be okay, but…how okay does ‘okay’ get? It’s a question that not many people know the answer to, so, they’ll just have to wait and see.

Micah has quite a few health issues. For example, he has two different eating disorders, which are anorexia and the one where he eats when stressed. And, because of that, he finds eating challenging. He doesn’t know who to talk to about it, so, he does what he usually does - don’t talk about it, at all, under any circumstances. This week is going to be…interesting.

Chapter Text

On the Bus, time seems different than what it is on the ground. The sun climbs slowly, raising higher and higher above the clouds, and the distant calls of eagles echo through the air. May, being an early riser, is already in the kitchen, making breakfast for everyone. She’s making pancakes and bacon, as well as some fried fish for Micah. Slowly, the others make their way to the dining table, guided by the smell of food.

Micah joins the crew last, that soft, yet incredibly blank expression on his face. He sits next to Daisy, wrapping his tail around the leg of the stool, idly tapping his paws against the marble table. Once May brings over a plate of freshly fried fish, he looks at it for a moment, making sure it’s cooked right, and then eats it. Though, Deke notices that the anthropomorphic feline seems to be forcing himself to swallow, and looks about ready to hurl. Deke remains quiet, wanting Micah to come to him if he needs to.

A little bit later, after breakfast, Micah purges the fish he ate earlier. Normally, he absolutely loves fish, but his stupid anorexia kicked in and has decided to ruin his appetite for any kind of food whatsoever. He puts the toilet seat back down and closes the lid, flushing it. He hates his anorexia. It’s not like he wants to purge, he just…can’t keep anything down. The cat hybrid did notice the way that Deke glanced at him earlier, and wonders why he even looked his way. Eh, it can wait.

Micah decides to chat to Jemma through the messaging system that Fitz helped make and set up. He sits down, smart tablet in hand, and taps on Jemma’s profile. He then starts typing.

’Hey, Jemma…uh…you busy?’ - Micah

Jemma, who was busy looking at results from some test she was doing, perks up as her smart tablet chirps softly, indicating that someone has messaged her. She picks up the tablet and sees the message from Micah.

’No, I’m not busy. Why do you ask?’ - Jemma

Micah immediately replies, typing quickly, and making quite a few typos.

’I-…I kidna sorta have anerexia and I aslo porged agter breakfatd so yeah-‘ - Micah

’Woah, woah, woah. Anorexia, you say? Why didn’t you tell anyone?’ - Jemma

’…I was worried about how you guys would react…’ - Micah

’…ah. Okay. Well, don’t forget to write that down when you journal later today.’ - Jemma

Micah doesn’t reply to that text. He just sighs in relief that Jemma wasn’t mad at him. He turns off the tablet and puts it down, running a clawed hand through his fluffy hair. It’s still morning, about 8:30 am. And there’s that compulsive need for more decor in his room, so, he grabs his credit card and goes back to the mall. Again, he returns with a hoard of new things - shiny jewellery mainly. He’s not selfish, he just likes shiny stuff. He decorates the wall with the necklaces and bracelets he bought, and steps back, admiring his wall. The cat hybrid then gets an urge to eat snacks, which means, he’s gone from being anorexic, to stress eating. Great. Wonderful. Micah loves  his life, totally.

Micah raids the snack bar, and retreats to the common room. He sits in one of the hexagon shaped shelves, his tail draped over the edge, ears twitching. The team is currently on a mission, and he’s not allowed to go with them, so he’s alone on the Bus. The cat hybrid opens a packet of Doritos, and takes out a paw-ful, crunching on the cheese-dusted chips. After he’s devoured every snack, he licks the dust off his chest fluff, his tail, and his muzzle. Micah hates himself for stress eating, mainly because it makes him feel…too heavy, too-…weighted, per se. He wants to be all muscular and pretty, so that the guys and ladies might like him.

Micah wakes up from his nap at the sound of the hangar door opening, as his tail starts wagging in a mix of relief and happiness. He’s happy to see that everyone’s alive. It’s obvious that he’s been stress eating again, but no one says a word, knowing how self-conscious the anthropomorphic feline can be. Later, like, a few minutes or so, Micah goes to the gym area of the Bus. He’s still standing there, trying to figure out what to start with. There’s weights, a treadmill, bench-press, and plenty of weight rings. He eventually decides on the weights. But, when he picks one of them up, he stops. He can’t do this. He doesn’t even know why he’s trying. Micah rolls his eyes in disappointment at himself, and goes back to his room.

Micah reports his day in his journal again.

>4/11/2015<
‘Today wasn’t good, at all. Not only did I purge this morning, but I stress ate not even an hour later. Having two eating disorders is horrid. I tried doing something in the gym, and just gave up immediately. I’m so lazy it’s not even funny. I think I should just…give up and kick the bucket /hj. Anyway, I’m sad and tired, so I’m gonna take a nap.’ - Signed, Micah.

Micah sends his journal through the chute and then snuggles under the covers, cuddling his own tail, which is luxuriously fluffy. His ears flat against his head, practically buried in his hair. His tail twitches in his arms, a natural movement that’s not controlled by Micah himself. The feline mutant falls asleep, curled up in a ball, his blanket resting over him. His other issues can wait until tomorrow. For now, he rests, but not peacefully, as nightmare after nightmare haunts him. 

Eventually, after hours of an unsuccessful rest, Micah lays on his bed, on his back, staring up at his ceiling. He silently questions why his mind has to torment him with nightmares, all of which based around his worst fears. He groans quietly, his tail, no longer held in his arms, lashing irritably. The cat hybrid wishes he had a phone to play games on. Oh wait, that’s right, he can just buy one. Although, he might end up throwing the thing into a wall.

”…why can’t I just sleep…? Why am I still here, just to suffer…? Like…what did I do to deserve this treatment…” Micah mutters quietly.

So far, life has been one giant, chaotic emotional roller coaster, and Micah still hates it. But, he can’t die, not yet at least. He has something to live and strive for, and that something is…the team. They care. Mack definitely cares, as much as his anger can get in the way. They’re like family to him. Well…as close to family as they can be. In fact, tomorrow, they’re going to be doing some kind of…team bonding thing.

If there’s one place that Micah hates more than anywhere else, it’s the beach. He’s often disgusted by the fact that so many women wear such revealing clothing. Like-…why? How much of a whore can one be? The cat hybrid has always hated intimacy with anyone, but is more so romantically attracted than anything. Like, at least the men have some decency. They at least wear actual swim shorts. Meanwhile, the ladies wear all that…stuff. Micah grimaces at the sight.

Micah, being a sensible guy, is wearing a t-shirt and shorts, and is keeping his distance from the water and some…particularly infatuated girls his age, all sun-bathing nearby, laying on their backs, their chests exposed to the open air. The cat hybrid shivers as he feels their eyes on him, ogling him from afar. He ignores them and rolls out his towel, and puts up his umbrella. Then, he sits down, legs outstretched in front of him, and leaning back on his hands, sunglasses on his face. Micah quietly watches the others play in the water, sighing softly.

A few seagulls attempt to steal his sandwich, but he flicks them all on the beak, which is enough to make them back off. In comparison, girls are not as easy to ward off. One girl in particular, about fifteen, approaches him, a sweet smile on her face. She introduces herself as Cathy. Micah raises an eyebrow, and then shakes his head, but doesn’t speak. He does not want this female human getting any closer to him, so he softly growls at her, but, she insists.

”C’mon, pretty boy! Join me in the water, it’ll be fun, I promise~!” Cathy says sweetly, her voice almost sickly because of how sweet and high-pitched it is.

”…no, thank you. I’m not interested. Please leave me alone…go bother someone else…” Micah retorts gently, as Mack glares at Cathy from a distance, a look on his face that clearly says, ‘Back off’.

Despite being dumb in the understanding the word ‘no’ department, Cathy at least understands when to back off. Micah gives Mack a grateful thumbs up, and goes back to chilling on his towel.

After getting back, Micah is exhausted, as anyone would be if they were pestered by some random girl at the beach. Anyway, he records his day and sends it off to Jemma, as per usual. Then, he goes to bed, and for once, actually gets his nine hours of shut-eye. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day. Yeah, hopefully.

Chapter Text

In the meeting room, the team is discussing a thing. The thing is, they’re going to prank Micah. The prank? Take him to the pools and push him in the water. It’s mainly to see how he reacts. A collective snicker ripples through the team, and they all nod in agreement of the prank, all except Yo-Yo and May.

Micah was playing his Nintendo Switch when Coulson literally came in and grabbed him by the wrist and dragged along to the Quinjet. He’s now following Coulson and the others into the public pool centre, a confused expression on his muzzle. His tail swishes anxiously, his ears swivelling and twitching like crazy. Daisy snickers, and gently nudges him towards the deep end of the pool. He turns around a little, his tail swaying side to side.

“…so, why are we-“ Micah starts, before he gets shoved backwards, and into the cold water of the pool.

On instinct, Micah full on panics, letting out a startled yelp as he thrashes around in the water, a terrified shimmer in his eyes. He doesn’t know how to swim. He watches as the others laugh and don’t seem to care that he’s literally drowning - they’re too caught up in the ‘funniness’ of the situation. He even thinks that Yo-Yo and May are laughing as well, even though they’re not. He flails towards the side of the pool and latches onto the edge, his claws scraping painfully against the spaces between the tiles. He feels too heavy, too wet, too cold, too everything. He can’t manage to pull himself up and out of the pool, and just when he thinks he’s going to die, he feels two hands grab his paws - Yo-Yo on one side, May on the other. The two pull him upwards, and he rolls over onto his stomach, shuddering and coughing. Neither of the two that just rescued him are laughing.

”…w-what-…why…what the heck! Wha-…I-…I-…I c-can’t swim…t-they know that!…why…why would…why?” Micah stammers, his fur absolutely soaked in water.

Yo-Yo grabs Micah his towel, while May helps him up. He wraps himself in his towel, still looking tense and frightened. He looks at the others, who have stopped cackling, and are now looking guilty and remorseful. The cat hybrid, however, didn’t appreciate being practically thrown into the deep end, so he glares at them and huffs sharply. Then, he shuffles over to May, who’s now sitting on the sandstone stairs, and climbs into her arms, nuzzling into her. In response, May gently wraps her arms around Micah’s form, patting his back comfortingly. 

”…that scared you, didn’t it? You must be freezing…” Yo-Yo pipes up, her voice soft and quiet, her expression somewhat pensive.

Micah doesn’t answer. He’s too overwhelmed to do so. He just stays quiet, but lets out a small, tiny-sounding mewl of confirmation. ‘Scared’ is the biggest understatement for this situation. He was petrified, and now, he’s in the middle of a sensory overload, and he’s gone nonverbal. His tail, wet and soggy, drags across the floor for a moment, then stops. His turquoise eyes are fixed on May’s necklace, which he’s fiddling with, his claws clinking dully against the metal.

”…I think it did more than just spook him. He’s gone completely silent. What’s the bet this was Coulson’s idea?” May asks rhetorically, her tone disapproving and exasperated.

”I-…I wouldn’t be surprised, honestly. That man has so many dumb ideas…” Yo-Yo sighs, a disappointed look in her eyes as she looks at Coulson.

”I’ll have to talk to the others later. For now…comforting Micah is the first priority.” May replies, as she looks down at Micah, who’s still in her arms, unwilling to move. 

Micah shifts slightly in May’s arms as he’s carried back to the plane, having regressed back to the mental age of a baby, suckling on a pacifier for comfort. He usually regresses whenever he has a sensory overload. He’s quiet even when he’s not regressed. He feels…safe, here in May’s arms. It’s a feeling he’s not used to, so he doesn’t know how to react to it, other than…cry. He doesn’t know why he started crying, but he is now. ‘Something funny happened today…’, Micah thinks to himself, tail flicking slightly.

Chapter Text

Yesterday was a bad day. But also good. And yet, the team still feels terrible for nearly causing Micah’s death. So, Enoch, despite not having emotions himself, notices that Micah seems upset, and decides that maybe teaching him something may help to ease his mood. He approaches the anthropomorphic feline, who’s on the couch, wrapped in a blanket.

”Micah. You seem…distressed. Would you, perhaps, like me to teach you how to bake a cake?” Enoch says, his voice neutral and flat, but holding a sense of…care.

Micah’s ears perk up and swivel towards Enoch. A confused expression crosses his soft, feline features.

”I-…thanks for the offer, Enoch, but-…I’m alright, really…I just…didn’t sleep too well.” Micah replies softly, trying to downplay his own feelings, in exchange for making Enoch worry, not that he can anyway.

”You seem unsure of your decision. Are you feeling alright?” Enoch presses carefully, trying not to make the cat hybrid shut down.

”…ah. Okay, okay, yeah, sure. I’m not okay, at all…and baking might make me feel better.” Micah sighs, getting up and following the Chronicom to the kitchen. 

Micah mixes the ingredients carefully, stirring them together with a whisk, while Enoch observes from a small distance away. He then pours the cake batter into a cake tin, and puts it in the oven, which is on, having been preheating. He doesn’t mind the burning heat against his palms. It’s kinda comforting, if he’s being honest with himself. Like, yeah, it hurts, but he likes it. He sits down, and watches the oven attentively, his tail flicking. Somehow, he falls asleep, and for a long time it seems.

Smoke. Heat. Alarm. The cat hybrid’s nose twitches as the dark, thick scent of smoke enters his lungs, causing him to jolt out of his nap, and cough roughly. He blearily looks at the oven, which is now smoking, a small fire on the inside, only contained by the glass door. Hastily, he turns the oven off, and waits for the smoke to clear, and the small fire to go out . He gets the oven mitts and pulls the cake tin out of the oven, to find that his cake is more than burnt, and is now just a pile of ash in a tray. A failure. Again. Like always. His first try, too. He can’t do anything right. Tears, silent and pained, trail down Micah’s silky soft cheeks, as he shuffles his way to where Enoch has just finished recharging.

“…Enoch? I-…I burnt the cake beyond repair…I-I’m sorry…I-…I-I d-didn’t m-mean to, I-I s-swear…” Micah stutters out, forcing each word and syllable to exit his mouth.

Enoch looks at Micah with a perplexed expression and looks at the cake tin, then up at Micah’s face. He quickly puts two and two together.

”I see. I am not mad. I cannot be mad, as I do not feel human emotions. However…do you require physical affection, my friend?” Enoch says quietly, tilting his head in a questioning manner.

Micah hiccups and nods shakily. He, of course, tenses up as Enoch hugs him, but slowly relaxes and reciprocates the embrace cautiously. He’s never been shown this kind of affection when he’s messed something up. So, he reacts by crying…like he did yesterday. He’s never learned how to react to physical affection. In fact, sometimes it hurts, and he doesn’t know why. Micah wants to talk about his feelings, but he just…doesn’t know how to express himself without the fear of hurting somebody else. 

“…Y-You’re a g-good friend, Enoch…” Micah murmurs quietly, his tail wagging slightly.

”…Thank you. For the compliment, I mean.” Enoch replies kindly.

Micah has a small hobby of writing poems. Mostly depressing ones, but poems nonetheless. So, he’s just finished writing a new one.

’I think they must be blind, every time I say I’m fine, never mind,

Why do they try, why comfort me when I cry, 

Have I done something to deserve it, and how do I preserve it,

I’ve never done anything right, goals always out of sight,

They say preach near and far, yet I can’t reach for the stars,

As every time I slip, I trip, I fall,

And wonder if it’s worth it at all’.

Chapter Text

The day was going fine up until the afternoon. The loud, repetitive sound of heavy rain against the hull of the Bus is making Micah anxious and paranoid. He’s wrapped in a blanket, his ears pinned back, and his fluffy tail puffed up, his stance defensive and somewhat spooked.

In the kitchen, May and Coulson are making pastries together, and they are being quite boisterous about it. It’s like Coulson brings out a whole new side of the normally stoic and stern May.

In the lab, Jemma and Fitz are flirting using science jokes, which Micah will never understand.

Yo-Yo and Mack are snuggled up together on the other couch.

Daisy is probably in her room, drawing or playing a video game.

And Enoch? Well…he’s just there. Doing nothing, as usual.

Suddenly, as a loud, sharp crack of thunder rocks the aircraft, Micah’s anxiety and paranoia skyrocket, leaving him on the edge of a panic attack. He takes a few deep breaths, calming himself down, only for it to be futile against the relentless storm surrounding the Bus. The cat hybrid’s paws begin to shake, his breathing picking up speed, his grip on reality slipping like sand through his claws. He shakes his head frantically, trying to fight off the painful memories, and the panic attack that’s threatening to consume him. Micah jumps harshly as he feels a hand on his shoulder. Enoch.

”Are you alright? You seem frightened.” The Chronicom states bluntly, but his voice is gentle as it can be.

Micah’s head snaps around to face Enoch, a terrified look in his eyes. Clearly, he’s scared.

”Mm-mm…no…I-…I don’t like…thunderstorms, t-that’s all…” Micah hums softly, rubbing a paw against the back of his neck.

”…hm. You seem to be withholding information. You don’t need to hide your fears, you know.” Enoch replies, a patient expression on his face.

Micah goes silent, looking away from Enoch, feeling incredibly called out. As another crash of thunder roars, he’s suddenly sent over the edge, but he tries hiding it, forcing a shaky smile onto his face. However, he can’t keep the façade up any longer, and he ends up crying…for the third time in a row. He can’t stop his hands from shaking, can barely breathe, and his throat feels like it’s closed off. His tiny screams are warbled by his tears, soft mews and chitters mixing in.

Enoch watches blankly as Micah breaks down in front of him. After a few moments of standing there, being practically useless, he finally sits down next to the cat hybrid and pulls him into a hug, petting his tail carefully. The Chronicom doesn’t know what to say, so he just silently comforts Micah.

Later on, Micah sits on the couch, with his pen and notebook in hand. He’s going to write more poetry, mainly because it’s both a coping mechanism, and a hobby of his. But, for some reason, he can’t think of anything to write about. As he thinks, mentally berating himself, he has an idea. He can write a self-deprecating poem. Yeah. That works. Though…Jemma probably won’t be happy about it. Eh, it’ll be alright. Besides, if he gets yelled at, he gets yelled at.

{Poem 2 - Inner Thoughts}

’It’s funny that you think that you’re smart, when in reality you suck at art,

You think you’re sweet and empathetic, when really you’re just pathetic,

Face it child, you’re too mild, you’re nothing, and you’ll never amount to anything, 

If you wanna be someone, anyone, work harder, be smarter,

You’ll never reach the stars, you’ll only get scars,

Pick up the blade, child, just cut, child,

And you’ll be fine’.

Micah smiles slightly. A fake smile. Sad, even. Depression is a silent killer. It’s a fact he’s known since he was an age too young to even understand what depression is. He’s been depressed for years now. He doesn’t think he’ll ever not be in this constant state of depression. The cat hybrid signs his name at the bottom of the page and tears out said page, folding it neatly and putting it into the chute. Jemma’s not at base right now. But that’s okay. Micah isn’t mad. He’s actually kinda glad she’s not here. He sighs softly, staring at the ceiling.

The idea of cutting crosses his mind. It sounds…so enticing. Sometimes, Micah questions why so many people stay ashore, when drowning sounds like a dream. Then he remembers that he made a promise. And he isn’t the type to break promises. If anything, he’ll die with every promise he’s made, unbroken.

Sometimes, Micah likes to sit and think. Other times he wonders what falling feels like. On the rare occasion, he’ll ponder his purpose, what he was made for. He still doesn’t have any answers. There’s one thing that doesn’t scare him. It scares most humans. Death. Micah has a small secret. He can’t die. For some reason, he’s just…not allowed to die. He’s basically immortal. He sits, silent on the balcony, tail swishing slowly, thoughtfully. He never learned how to feel about being loved, cared for, and wanted. He wants to learn.

It was dark outside. The cave’s lanterns were burning, emitting all the light they had to give. Micah sat, high above the ground, on a rock his parents called his pedestal. He was once a display piece. He shone. He won. He was adored. Until, they got a new statue. They tossed him aside, and placed the new, shinier statue on his pedestal. He watched, as all the love and adoration he once received was given to someone he didn’t know. And so, Micah sat in a box. Alone. Unwanted. Unneeded. Hated. Dull. Lost. For a while, he questioned why. How could a pair of individuals who claimed to love him so dearly, replace him. Why did they do it. But, alas, he never got an answer. His cries were left unheard, ignored.

Micah had tried. He had fought valiantly for his place in the spotlight. Yet, he was struck down. Thrown down from the climb he worked so hard for. That was when he realised. People don’t care. They just use you for their amusement, and when you’re no longer interesting, they throw you away. That was why it happened. His parents didn’t love him anymore. 

And, here he is again. Lonely and lost. His mind forever tired and haunted. Those shimmering eyes that are coloured like the purest of oceans, swirling turquoise and intertwining jade, always heavy, having seen too much. Micah wonders. When will it end? When will he be the only statue that everyone loves and wants and needs? Why is he not shiny enough, not big enough, not good enough? He needs to know.

He wants to scream at sky, question God’s intentions. He wants to rip the stars apart and absorb the fame that lies inside. He wants to take the fall from a height, test fate and burn the thorns of hate. He wants to shed his cocoon, grow wings and fly. He wants to be the favourite, the angel, the pride. He wants to know, he wants to know, he wants to know, goddamnit, what was he made for?

Chapter Text

Masks. They’re used in many ways, but one stands out from the rest. A particular type of mask. The one that hides one’s problems and pain from the rest of the world, keeping it contained and buried. One person once said, ‘The world’s greatest actor doesn’t need a stage, ‘cause they’re so good at their craft that nobody knows they’re fake, the fools have no clue the one they knew was just a fraud, the master of pretending to be something that they’re not’.

Micah is the epitome of this quote. He masks so well that no one can tell what he’s truly feeling. It’s a skill he’s learned over many years, one he’s perfected. However, the two people that seem to be able to see past the mask are Enoch and May. Micah doesn’t like that fact, so he tends to keep his distance from either of them.

(Micah isn’t actually immortal, by the way. It’s a sort of…eternal curse, that he cannot die, whatsoever. However, that doesn’t have anything to do with the storyline of this chapter)

Micah is naturally a recluse, keeping to himself, behaving, and just…well, being a good person. However, for some reason, he has this compulsion to buy basically anything. If he finds it nice and cool, he’ll buy it. Maybe it’s because he’s never had the luxury, or maybe he’s just selfish. It’s a fine line. The cat hybrid thinks the latter, and quite fiercely so. Every time someone says that he’s not selfish, he denies it, and says that he is. He believes he’s cursed, which technically, he is. 

As Micah lounges in one of the hexagon shaped bookshelves, thinking and pondering, his trauma decides to be an ass, and reminds him of reality, like it always does.

Micah sweeps the floor with his tail, Jaggedscar and Merrel watching him closely from the centre rock. He doesn’t mind doing chores for his parents, in fact, he believes he’s doing right by them. He’s just four years old, and already doing chores, which always impresses the other hybrid parents, especially the avians. No other hybrid parent has noticed the truth, except one. Holly, a Norwegian owl avian. She noticed the first time she met Micah. She could see it on his face. But, she knew better than to mess with Jaggedscar and Merrel. Those two big cats eat birds for breakfast, so she’s right to be intimidated by them. Holly’s wolven friend, Storm, has also noticed. However, he has a pack to feed and protect, so he can’t really do anything.

Holly often visits Micah. In secret though, because if those two ever found out, they’d have her head on a silver platter. The two often meet at the great willow tree, up in the treehouse. Holly also brings along her own son, Milo, to the treehouse. Micah and Milo…don’t exactly get along, but also don’t attack each other on sight. Milo just…glares at Micah. For no reason. And Micah, not knowing what to do, sits with Holly, burying his face in her chest feathers.

Whenever Storm gets a break of being alpha, he also visits Micah, as a babysitter while Jaggedscar and Merrel are away. Storm has triplets, Mitchell, Buck, and Jackson. The boys absolutely love playing with Micah, so much so, that they don’t care that Micah’s a cat, all they see is a friend. Mitchell likes video games, Buck likes games like hide and seek, and Jackson likes board games and card games. Sometimes though, they all enjoy a little bit of roughhousing.

Micah grunts softly as he returns to the present, sighing deeply. He has trauma, a lot of it, but he also had some people who cared about him, even Milo, who seemingly didn’t like him. But, he hasn’t seen them in so long…he nearly forgot their names, their faces. Which is probably why he just had that flashback, so he doesn’t forget. He wants to see Mitchell, Buck, and Jackson again, but he doesn’t know if they’re around. Hopefully they are. And if they aren’t, well…he’ll get over it. Maybe. Oh, and the others have returned from yet another mission. Time to put the mask on again. 

Micah’s tail swishes, his paws gently padding on the floor as he walks around the kitchen, rummaging through each cupboard for something to make for dinner. Eventually, he comes across something called ‘teriyaki chicken sauce’. It looks…tasty. He knows there’s chicken, and some other stuff, so he decides to make this so called teriyaki chicken. The only thing is…the sauce is the spicy edition, but it doesn’t say it. Which is really confusing and inconvenient. Anyway, after about thirty minutes, Micah serves dinner for everyone but himself, because his ED is deciding to not let him eat. He sits down, and watches everyone’s reaction to the meal he cooked.

Coulson looks somewhere between uncomfortable and somewhat confused, trying his best to seem judgemental.

May seems completely okay, not even a hint of dislike for this dish on her face. She’s actually enjoying it. She likes spicy.

Yo-Yo also likes spicy food, so she’s practically devouring the meal like it’ll disappear if she doesn’t eat it all fast enough.

Daisy and Deke, both disliking anything with even a hint of spice in it, took one bite and then pushed their bowls away.

Mack seems to nod slightly as he tries it, and continues eating. He likes it, although it could be less spicy. Too much spice is…yeah.

Fitz, who physically cannot handle spice, doesn’t like it, but he also doesn’t want Micah to feel bad, so he forces himself, which only makes Micah feel guilty.

Simmons, polite as she is, takes a few bites, swallows, thinks, and then quietly pushes her bowl away, as she can’t handle spice either.

Micah looks between everyone, and then he sighs quietly. He feels like he failed to make something that everyone would like, yet again. But, he doesn’t let it show, and he speaks up, his voice a little raspy from not using it much today.

”…So. I’m just gonna guess that you all didn’t really like what I made for ya? It’s okay, though, I’m not mad, just…still trying to figure out what everyone likes and all.” He muses as he takes everyone’s bowls to the sink, then walks back to the dining table.

Later, at nearly midnight, Micah still can’t sleep. So, he goes for a walk outside, his destination being the big park. The walk there is long and quiet, save for the occasional barking of a dog, or the angry yowling of two cats fighting. His paws make no sound against the wood chips that form the floor of the playground. A few raccoons are out and about, digging through trash cans just to find something, anything to eat. Upon Micah’s arrival, the raccoons scatter, afraid of the larger being. Micah watches with a slightly solemn expression, but doesn’t take it personally. He trots over to the swings, and sits down on one, swinging back and forth slowly, watching the moon. It’s a crescent moon tonight. It reminds him of the wolven triplets, Mitchell, Buck, and Jackson. 

Micah never realised just how much he actually misses those three. He knows that he won’t see them anytime soon. Those three must be busy, training, talking, and learning how to be a leader so that one day, one of them might take Storm’s place. The hooting of an owl nearby catches the cat hybrid’s attention, his eyes looking in the direction the sound came from. For a moment, he thought it was Holly, but it turns out it was just a normal barn owl. Then, Micah’s thoughts shift again. Sure, the team may be his surrogate family, but…he still feels that endless void of loneliness inside his heart. Perhaps, he needs a pet. But, what kind of pet? A dog? No. A cat? Hm…nah. A bird…yeah, not a good idea. A fox? Now that sounds…wonderful. Well, now he’s got to somehow find someone who has foxes up for adoption.

-A week later-

Micah got a fox. A firefox, to be specific. And no, the fox isn’t on fire, it’s just what it’s called. Micah still hasn’t figured out what to call him. The fox is black and orange, but he’s at a loss in terms of names. Then suddenly, it occurs to him. Ravindeer. Micah, being well versed in leather making, and has dabbled in a bit of metal engraving, hand crafts a collar and leash. He spends the most time on the tag, which he shapes like a dragon, with the name ‘Ravindeer’ engraved at the front, and Micah’s phone number on the back. Surprisingly, for a fox, Ravindeer is not only young, but somehow well behaved, and toilet trained, which is…awesome, to say the very least. The fox also enjoys lounging in any of the hexagon bookshelves, and is currently sitting in one.

”Ravindeer, c’mere boy…” Micah beckons softly, and the fox bounds over to him, sitting back on his haunches.

Micah gently fastens the collar around his pet fox’s neck, making sure it’s fitted properly and comfortable for the animal. Ravindeer stands up and spins in a circle, then stops, his ears perked up, and his tail wagging as if to say thank you. Micah can’t help but internally fawn over Ravindeer - he’s cute, can you blame him? No, exactly. However…Coulson has plenty of reservations about Ravindeer, which is why Micah is sitting in the Director’s office, Ravindeer curled up in his lap. The Director looks at the cat hybrid, then looks at the fox, then back to the cat hybrid. He sighs deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose.

”Micah…are you aware that the fox is…a wild animal? You know we have specific standards and rules, kid.” Coulson says, his voice slightly scolding and unimpressed.

Micah’s ears tilt downwards, back up, flick a little, then face forward. It’s a common ear motion used by feline hybrids, usually communicating that they’re thinking.

”Yes, I’m aware. And-…Ravindeer is not a wild animal. He’s from an animal shelter. He’s loyal, obedient, and toilet trained. He’s not a bad fox. He’s my pet, and my best friend…” Micah says quietly in reply, his voice soft and warm as he scratches gently between Ravindeer’s ears.

Coulson nods, his lips pursed in thought. On one hand, he should force Micah to get rid of Ravindeer, but on the other, he can see the obvious bond between the cat hybrid and the fox. And, Micah’s like a son to him, and he knows how much the teen’s been deprived of, so…he just can’t do that to him.

”Okay. You can keep him. If he makes you happy, then…I won’t take that away from ya, kid.” He says, a warm, fatherly smile on his face, though a hint of doubt lingers in his eyes as he looks at Ravindeer.

”…thanks. Uh…I’m gonna…take Ravindeer on a walk.” Micah murmurs, as Ravindeer gets off his lap, and walks out of the office with Micah.

Ravindeer trots alongside Micah, who’s holding the leash in a gentle, but tight grip. He’s wearing a black hoodie, as usual, with black jeans. He doesn’t wear a shirt underneath his hoodie, so that’s a small thing that others would find odd. The two arrive at the same park that Micah thought of even considering getting a pet. It’s daytime, 10 AM, so it’s the peak hour for people to be here, chatting, kids playing, and some others having picnics. It’s…comfortingly mundane. He wanders to the swing set, as is routine, but his shoulder brushes against someone else’s. Ravindeer also stops, and looks at the person. Micah looks at the guy, and holy moly, he doesn’t think he’s seen anyone prettier. He shakes his head a little, and clears his throat.

”Sorry, man. I didn’t mean to bump into you. I’m uh…Micah. And this is my fox, Ravindeer.” Micah says warmly, trying to keep his voice level.

The stranger, a seemingly male ferret hybrid, smirks awkwardly at Micah, a weird feeling tugging at their heart. They cough shyly, and shakes their head at the cat hybrid’s apology.

“Nah, it’s alright. I’m Kai…I’m not a man…or a woman…if you know what I mean by that. Oh…and cool dog.” The ferret hybrid says with a small, awkward smile.

A pang of guilt shoots through Micah as he makes the connection. Ah. This ferret hybrid is non-binary. He’s okay with it, of course. He doesn’t discriminate. He’s gay, so, he can’t exactly discriminate against anyone else in the pride community.

”Kai, eh? Nice name. And-…Ravindeer’s not exactly a dog-…he’s a fox. A canine, yeah, but-…not a dog. Heh. Uh…do you wanna hang out sometime? Here, have my number-“ Micah says a little too quickly, giving Kai a small card with his phone number on it.

Later, at the base, Micah still can’t get Kai’s face out of his head. They’re just so…pretty, sexy, cute, adorable, sweet, warm, handsome, and dear lord…they look so, so fuckable. Over in the corner of his room, Ravindeer is asleep. Anyway, he’s waiting for a text or a call from Kai, even though they met not even fourteen hours ago. Micah can’t help how he feels, but damnit, he needs to get his emotions and hormones under control. ‘Heh, whoremones’, he thinks, a small, wry chuckle rumbling in his throat. He would never have thought that being fifteen would be so hard, dealing with his hormonal impulses, his not so innocent thoughts, and the underlying need to have a connection with someone. 

He checks the time on his phone, and sighs tiredly at the sight of ‘12:04 AM’. He should get some sleep. Yeah. Maybe he’ll wake up to see a message from that damn ferret hybrid he met. He pulls the blanket over him, turns to face the wall, and closes his eyes. Sleep comes easily, sure, but the nightmares persist like a stubborn thorn. 

He’s stuck. Leashed to a tree outside the cave, in the rain. He’s cold. Very cold. His fur is wet, damp, and icky. He doesn’t know what he did wrong. Jaggedscar got mad at him for something. Micah can’t remember what. But, here is now, tied to a tree, outside, in the pouring rain. He’s hungry. He’s bored. He’s not stimulated enough. A headache is starting to form. Jaggedscar appears in front of him. A paw raises into the air. It pauses there for a moment, all of a split second. Then it collides with his face. Claws slice flesh. Three red, bleeding cuts across his muzzle. But he can’t feel it. It’s like the pain isn’t there. The paw strikes again, and again, and again, and again, and-…it stops. He’s bleeding. A lot. Still, somehow, he doesn’t feel a thing. 

Micah wakes up again. He’s not truly awake. It’s just another nightmare. He’s sitting on the cool, stone floor, reading a book, and smiling happily. Eyes watch him closely, too closely, from afar. Eyes of sapphire, that powerful, striking blue. Merrel. He keeps reading, as if his mother isn’t there. She’s scares him. The panther looks at him weird, all the time. Sometimes, she brings him into her room and locks the door. Then she politely asks him to undress, which he does, because he’s always been so easy to manipulate. Then, Merrel beckons him over, and she pats the bed. She’s already undressed. After a few minutes, she’s a mess, sweaty and blushing, while Micah looks confused and conflicted, unsure of the situation, what to do, and what to say.

Again, he wakes. Not truly. Another nightmare. Another cog in the torment machine. He’s with Holly, in the treehouse. Holly was always kind to him. The owl hybrid is outside at the moment, just flying around, stretching her wings. He knows this didn’t actually happen. But still, a gunshot. A shriek. A thud. A cackle of victory. He gets up and looks out the window. Holly. Ivory feathers now stained with an ugly crimson. Eyes lifeless, the once kind and bright shine gone. A tall, burly man. A shotgun. A wide, greedy grin. Micah is terrified. He ducks quickly and holds his breath. A soft rustle. Heavy footsteps. The man is gone. And so is Holly. Not really.

Micah finally wakes up for real. He groans softly, rubbing his temples, tail flicking in ever so slight annoyance. God, why can’t he just sleep and not be tormented? He checks his phone - ‘3:00 AM’. Wow. He’s only been asleep for what? Two, three hours? Jeez. But wait…a message? From-…Kai’s number!? Oh, he has to see, he has to, he must.

Kai - ‘Hey? Is this…Micah?

Micah - ‘Yeah! It’s me ;)’

Kai - ‘Cool…uhh…I think ur cool, so-…u wanna meet up at the park? U can bring your fox too :>’

Micah - ‘Yeah, sure! I’d love to. I’m sure Ravindeer (my fox) would love to come too :)’

Kai - ‘Nice. How’s about…10 am? That alr?’

Micah - ‘Uh…yeah. See ya ;)’

Kai - ‘See ya, pretty boy…’

Micah full on giggles, his face lit up like a damn light bulb. His tail wags happily, and he’s never felt happier…well…other than the exact moment Ravindeer leapt into his arms. He really hopes tomorrow goes well. Wait, it’s already tomorrow. He literally just checked the time. Jeez. Stupid memory issues. Having a dissociative disorder, which is why he has slight amnesia. He doesn’t care that he barely got any sleep, because he’s going to see the prettiest person ever later today, and that is enough to keep him awake…other than a tumbler full of coffee. He hopes for the best. He hopes that he can somehow win Kai’s heart. The right way. Not too fast, not too obvious. Go slow, be hard to figure out. Yeah. That’ll work. Hopefully.

Micah is unnaturally giddy as he walks along the path, Ravindeer by his side. Micah holds his tumbler of coffee in his paw, chugging it every now and again. His eyes light up when he spots Kai on the swings, and strolls over to them, sitting on the other swing. He lets go of Ravindeer’s leash, trusting the fox to not run off or cause trouble. He clears his throat and starts talking to Kai.

”So…what do you like doing?” Micah asks casually, his tail hanging off the back edge of the swing seat.

Kai looks up, having zoned out for a moment. They look at Micah, and then pause, mulling over the question.

”…uhm. I like…drawing.” They reply, their small round ears perked up, tugging at their sleeves softly, almost anxiously.

Micah notices the way the ferret hybrid tugs at their sleeves, and recognises the behaviour. It’s an anxious action, as if Kai is hoping that no one notices. But Micah’s noticed.

”…are you…okay, Kai? You seem…troubled.” The cat hybrid says, his voice laced with concern, wondering what’s going on.

Kai seems to flinch, and they pause for a moment too long. They feel…trapped. Now is not the time to panic.

”Uh-…yeah, I’m great, actually. Just…a bit on edge, is all. Nothing major, don’t worry.” The ferret hybrid answers, silently asking for Micah to change the topic.

Micah notices the silent request, and understands. He never felt comfortable with talking about his struggles with his depression and all that. He nods subtly, acknowledging the quiet request. He thinks for a moment, and then speaks once more.

”Uh…is there anywhere else in the world you wanna go to? Mine’s Japan, mainly because of the cherry blossoms in the spring.” He muses warmly, as Ravindeer lies down, resting his head on his paws.

”Japan, huh? You’ve got some taste, man. As for me…I wanna go to Australia…either that or Egypt, Cairo specifically.” Kai says, their small paws gripping the chains of the swing.

”Australia or Egypt? Both are pretty awesome. You know, it’s nice having someone my age to talk to. My favourite colour’s black, by the way.” Micah retorts playfully, his gaze drifting to Kai’s paws, which look so…soft and warm in the morning sunlight.

Kai giggles a little, finding Micah funny. Though, they can’t help but feel a little doubtful. The last time they were ‘friends’ with someone, they got hurt in a way that damaged their mental state permanently. It’s actually happened several times before.

”Yeah. It’s…nice. My favourite colour is…uh…purple. Yeah, purple.” The young ferret peruses with a smile.

”Purple’s a nice colour. It’s a nice colour to use for art, huh? You have a favourite video game?” Micah muses kindly, those turquoise ocean eyes shimmering in the sunlight.

Kai pauses for a moment. They look into Micah’s eyes, admiring the soft, warm turquoise-blue colour. He’s…pretty. And…handsome…and…sexy. They shake their head softly, but the thoughts persist in the very back of their mind. Little do they know, Micah is thinking the exact same things.

”Mm…yeah. I like playing Stardew Valley.” They reply simply, their dyed, banded tail swishing idly.

”I like Kirby; The Forgotten Land. Stardew Valley’s cool too, though. I…like you. As a friend…do you wanna…I dunno, schedule some more meet ups? I’m down for every Friday…?” Micah says with a soft snicker as his gaze flits down to Kai’s tail, which has the darker bands dyed from light purple to dark purple.

”Ooh, Kirby? Awesome. And…I like you too, Micah. And yeah! ‘Course. Fridays are alright. Your eyes are…pretty, you know that?” Kai murmurs, chuckling softly, as they subtly flirt with this pretty kitty.

Micah catches onto the subtle flirt, and blushes softly, a quiet, unintentional moan escaping him, which he quickly covers up with a soft meow. However, Kai is observant enough to notice the small sound, and they laugh quietly, not wanting to embarrass the cat hybrid.

”Well, thank you, Kai. I’m…flattered. You know…your eyes are just as pretty.” Micah says sweetly, but in a way that isn’t obnoxious, rather soft and gentle.

Micah isn’t joking. Kai’s eyes, vermillion and gold in colour, are indeed, gorgeous. Micah can’t help but imagine what they might look like when they’re filled with desire, can’t help the image of him on top of Kai, railing them, making them-…no, stop that train of thought right there. The both of them are fifteen, and sex is not exactly the best idea. Kissing, cuddling, and all that? That’s fine.

”D’aw…thanks, man. You’re too kind…by the way, could I ask…where did you get that scar from? The one across your muzzle?” The ferret hybrid inquires, a concerned look in their eyes.

Micah freezes. He doesn’t blink. He only looks away, staring at the floor. His ears pin back, his tail stops moving. The memory of his father’s claws tearing his flesh open is still fresh. When he feels a small paw on his shoulder, he immediately goes to swing, but stops. Kai, it’s just Kai. He lowers his clenched paw, and blinks a few times, shaking his head. He sighs deeply.

”I-…Sorry. I zoned out. Uh…as for where I got this scar?…uh…I got it from a bear attack…yeah. It was real gory, Kai…you-…you don’t wanna know. And…uh, I’m really sorry, but uh-…I gotta go, c’mon Ravindeer! Home time, bud.” Micah says quickly, calling for Ravindeer to follow him.

God. That was the worst lie he’s ever spoken. For sure Kai knew. Hell, Ravindeer, despite being an animal, would have been able to tell. God, he’s such a bad liar. Micah just…hopes that Kai doesn’t read into it too much. They shouldn’t. Yep. Sure. So far, today has been…a weird web of emotions, and Micah’s forgotten about his healthy coping mechanisms, and…well, he relapses, for the first time in a few weeks. May knows. She always knows, even if she wasn’t in the room. That’s one thing that he both loves and hates about her. He’s mostly grateful for it. It’s the only reason he hasn’t gone too far yet.

He can only hope for the best. He can only hope that someday, this newfound friendship with Kai can blossom into something more. Hope is something he doesn’t have a lot of. So, he has to hold onto it. He must. But, for now, he has to keep acting. Play his archetype of the helpful one. The one that never asks for much. The one that doesn’t complain. Because, he’s always been good at it.