Archive of Our Own ^beta

I ask you how you’re doing, and i let you lie/ but we don’t have to talk about it I

It’s an average night in May. The crickets are starting to reappear, campers are slowly flocking back to the hills of Camp Halfblood. It should be comforting, how nothing ever seems to change at Camp, and maybe it would be, if it wasn’t for the rising tension that comes with being on the brink of war. Campers are constantly being sent out on missions, and Connor would be lying if he said he wasn’t at least a little bit afraid for what’s to come. Travis was sent on a mission just last week, and there was a very dark moment where Connor was forced to consider the very real possibility of what he would do with himself if his older brother did not make it back. Thankfully he made it back, albeit with a nasty wound, but Connor (and surprisingly Katie Gardner, he could’ve sworn she hated him) were there to visit him in the infirmary every day while he recovered.

The roar of the campfire faded as he made his way further into the woods, before reaching his destination; the little clearing by the lake that he had begun to associate with her. She’s there now, waiting for him, with a can of Fanta and a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “You’re early.” He remarks as he sits down beside her on the mossy ground, taking the fanta from her outstretched hand. She shrugs, keeping her eyes fixed on the horizon. “Yeah.” They’re quiet for a while, watching the stars. “How’s Travis?” She asks, turning to face him. He’s struck by her eyes, and he doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to the effect her gaze has on him. He swallows before answering, “He’s doing better, I think. It’s hard to know with him though, you know he won’t ever admit to being in serious pain.” Annabeth hums her agreement. “Katie Gardner is at the Big House a lot.” She says through a badly hidden smile. “I know, it’s so weird-” He starts before turning to her rapidly. “What do you know? Has she said something? Because I could’ve sworn she hated him, I mean not that I can blame her, he is pretty insufferable-” This time Annabeth doesn’t bother trying to muffle her laughter. “He’s been in love with her for like, forever.” She states. Connor rolls his eyes, “Well yeah, obviously I know that but-” Suddenly the realization of what Annabeth is implying hits him like a truck. “Oh my gods does she like him back??” She raises one eyebrow and apparently the expression on Connors face is absolute comedic gold because suddenly she has one hand clamped over her mouth as she shakes with silent laughter. “Don’t tell me you didn’t know?” She asks, incredulous once she recovers. “Did you not see her when he came back? Not to mention the whole Valentines day debacle.” Connor frowns, and seeing his confusion, “You know, remember when she saw Alice from Cabin 4 give him a Valentines day card, and all of a sudden there were vines covering that whole cabin?” She stares at him expectantly and he remembers all of the times he would catch her staring at Travis at the dining pavilion. He leans back against a log. “Wow. Someone actually likes Travis.” She laughs at that, and Connor feels like the luckiest man alive.

They sit in comfortable silence for another while before he notices her eyes start to droop. He nudges her with his shoulder, a silent ‘You okay?’ She nods, blinking the drowsiness away. “Nightmares?” He asks, even though they both know the answer. She nods anyway and he wraps an arm around her like that’s going to keep her safe. “Do you think Luke will actually do it?” Connor asks. She shrugs, trying and failing to act nonchalant; he can almost see the weight of this war as it sits on her shoulders, and gods he wants nothing more than to take it away for her. She turns to him then, grey eyes so full of pain that he almost can’t stand it. She leans in, presses her lip to his softly. He feels invincible. She breaks the kiss to straddle him, placing her hands on his chest as his come to snake around her waist. He catches her lips with his own, and his mind turns off. All he can think of is Annabeth, and she is everywhere, her lips on his, her hands on his chest, his neck, her curls brushing against his arm. The kiss is slow, it always is with them. He lets her take what she needs from him.

Tonight, she wants distraction. He would be lying if he said a part of him didn’t wonder if this was all he was to her? He thinks he knows the answer though, so he doesn’t like to think about that particular question too hard.

Absent-mindedly he wonders what the distraction is for this time, is it Luke’s betrayal, the pressure of the war, or, if he’s being completely honest, Percy’s noticeable absence from camp. He knows it affects her, he knows that when she sees him she freezes until Connor comes up with some flimsy excuse to remove her from his vicinity. He knows the pain she feels when he just leaves, and for a son of the Big Three, gods is he an idiot to leave her. Connor doesn’t know how he does it, considering the whole camp knows she’s desperately in love with him, and vice versa. If he knew that Annabeth freakin’ Chase was in love with him, he wouldn’t waste a second of his time away from her. Although he knows that Percy is just as in love with Annabeth as he is, maybe even more, and he knows that he is an absolute fool for continuing this little affair, he hates himself a little more every time he makes excuses for her, every time Travis tries to stage an intervention “It’s not healthy man. I want you to be happy” (he doesn’t understand that making her feel better makes him happy). He knows she doesn’t love him, he knows she can’t possibly love him half as much as she loves the son of Poseidon, but to be completely honest he doesn’t give a fuck. They might die in the next few months, and his presence seems to make her a little happier. He would bleed himself to dry to make her happy. Connor wonders how long it will take for her to realise that she needs more, that she needs Percy, but he doesn’t find he cares all that much after all. He has her right now, gods help him he will cherish her while he has her.

He doesn’t have much time to think however, before her hands are sliding into his hair as she deepens the kiss, and all rational thought leaves his mind.

He’s walking her back to her cabin, as has become their routine when he feels her stiffen. Connor turns to look (even though he’s pretty sure he knows what or rather who it is already) and sees the light in Cabin 3 on. “It’s probably just Tyson” Annabeth says, feigning nonchalance, but Connor doesn’t miss the way her shoulders droop slightly in disappointment when they see a silhouette far too large to be Percy’s pass the window. It stings, a little. He’s used to it by now. She looks at him then, and leaves him with a chaste peck. Every time he walks her back he wonders if tonight will be his last night with her. He doesn’t think Percy knows, if he’s being totally honest he kinda hopes he doesn’t- he’s normally a pretty chill dude, but he’s seen what he can do when he’s angry and he’d rather not be on the receiving end of that. Another part of him really wants him to know, maybe that might wake him up a bit.

He watches Annabeth enter Cabin 6 before turning to head to his cabin. He steps inside and immediately the cool night air is replaced by a loud hubbub of noise. One thing the war hasn’t changed all that much; how overcrowded Cabin 11 is. Luke's bunk is still empty. It feels wrong somehow to put somebody else in it after Luke being there for so long. He tries not to think about Luke too often, it hurts to think about. They were close, although he was closer to Travis than he was Connor. It was getting harder to reconcile the cool councillor of cabin 11 with the cruel host of Kronos every time he heard about some new atrocity the boy he had once looked up to so much had committed. Annabeth isn’t the only one hoping he can still be saved though. Luke was like a brother to him, although he hates saying it now, he does miss him. He gets ready for bed, and when he steps on the ladder to make his way to his bunk, Travis raises an eyebrow, and Connor just knows he’s going to say something about Annabeth. “Don’t. Just… don’t.” Travis lies back, defeated as Connor pulls the covers up over himself and drifts into a restless sleep.