Chapter Text
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“____”
A woman with short blonde curls that wrapped around her face like small crescent moons, and freckles as beautiful as small stars, spoke down to someone. Her eyes were the most full and prominent of her features, ruby red eyes that were filled with all the fire and desires impossibly out of reach against the pale color of her skin.
“Mummy?” a boy beside her spoke with youthful confusion.
“_____, look up at the stars.” she answered
“Why?” Eyes identical to hers looked back at her, promising so many things, of future, of hope.
She pushed him back onto the freshly new, summer grown grass, the bright green now a darker shade in the slightest light of the moon, making the boy look up at the nightly painted sky. With hundreds of bright Nations burning into both sets of ruby eyes, as the mother laid down beside her son.
“‘When we cross the bridge of fate, we go to a place where it is not night, and not day, but both of the same. Then, we all lay down and look down at all the stars, observing them forever.’ My grandmother said that to me often, before she died.”
“Do we all have to cross that bridge? Why do we have to cross?”
“Because everything must come to an end. There can be no new start without an old end”
“Does that mean you, and daddy are gonna cross that bridge one day?
“mm, yes, but it's nothing to fear, we all must cross that bridge. So one day, when we're all old, and have long crossed the bridge, we will look down, and admire the stars together.”
The boy hummed. That didn't seem so scary. He looked up at the stars, admiring them. He stretched his arm upwards, holding his hand out open wide, flatly facing them, as if he could touch the stars, and feel them when it closed, but he felt nothing as his hand grasped the air.
Nothing was there.
Nothing will ever be there, only the dreams, and hopes of admirable futures that are farther away than you can understand.
****
Yuuma opened his eyes, looking up at Japan's stars from where he sat in an alleyway, the bustling streets of Mikado city rumbling beside him. His father always talked about how beautiful the stars on Earth were, but he could've never imagined how truly beautiful it would be in person.
Yuuma doesn't remember much after his father saved him, the memories distant and far away, just like the stars out of reach, out of the possibilities of his.
Yuuma can't remember what a family, or love feels like. The feeling of warm hugs and loving words long dead, along with his parents, along with himself.
He couldn't remember much of his mother, since she died when he was young, and that was when his father decided to run from it and travel, instead of facing the grief of his love being dead.
Death is feared. The thought of your hopes and dreams being taken away from you is seemingly the worst thing that could occur.
But what people don't realize is how beautiful death is.
When a body decomposes it brings about new life, for energy cannot be destroyed, or created, only transferred. So, when something dies, something new is born. How can something be so horrible if it brings about something so honorable? How could one not embrace death with open arms, instead cowering away in a corner to hide from it. Death does not kill, Death just ends something that needed to be ended.
Yuuma wished that he could've embraced his death, knowing it was fully his own doing, but instead his father took his place. It was not his father's time to go. It was not his place.
Murder, the action of taking away someone else's dreams, and hopes, and future. Yuuma murdered his father by ending his future and hopes, so then how can he still have the means to go on?
How can Yuuma sit here and let himself live? How can he be okay with himself? After all he's done? How could he accept himself as something that was once alive and human? How could he ever even begin to acknowledge himself as still being human?
Humans make mistakes and are imperfect. Trion soldiers have a fixed purpose, meant to follow that purpose until they can not anymore. They are not the same. Trion soldiers are flawless. Humans are not. Trion soldiers are mindless drones who follow their coding. Humans are alive.
Alive.
Yuuma Kuga is not alive.
When you murder a life, yours goes with it. Yuuma Kuga murdered his father, thus making him no longer human, no longer alive.
He counted the stars, which he found to be infeasible, for the stars on Earth was too many to even keep an eye on. How could one person ever study such a vast void of burning lights? How could something ever begin to understand the beauty of this? Something like him doesn't deserve to bask in the beauty of it all.
The stars in the nation were scarce. In some there were none at all, just the empty nothingingness. Yuuma liked the stars. He liked looking up and seeing the millions of different futures and hopes. From the smallest rock, to the biggest star, everything has, and had, a future.
Even when we die, our bodies still have futures. To be grieved, to be buried deep in the soil, to be decomposed, to help life grow and flourish, to be loved and missed.
Yuuma sometimes wished he was loved and missed, but in truth there is nothing of him to miss. Calvaria was more than happy to let him go, saying he was “too violent, and unethical” he didn't blame them, just said a short goodbye to his father's friend, and the family of the friend.
To be loved and missed is a privilege you must earn. Yuuma took that privilege and burned it while smiling.
Yuuma shook his head, trying to shake away unwanted thoughts before he could apprehend them. Yuuma didn't want, nor need to understand why his thoughts always drifted too far into uncharted waters. He didn't want to dwell on what he couldn't change about himself.
He sighed, feeling the hunger claw away inside his body, making him wish he was dead more than usual. He groaned, frowning at the thought of having to go any longer without sustenance.
“Replica, how long has it been since I arrived here?” He asked, his companion poured out of his ring, like water being poured out of a pot, and appeared in front of him.
“This is your fifth night, Yuuma.” Replica answered, floating down slightly.
Yuuma hugged his legs to his chest, resting his face on his knees, turning his head to the left, looking out at the cars passing by. Cars were very dangerous, as he first learned. He had walked straight into traffic his first day, not exactly an amazing first impression.
He felt cold, due to severe Trion loss, courtesy of the second car crash, and the third. Yuuma decided after the fourth to just lay low, which led to him staying in this damp, musty, alleyway. It wasn't all bad however.
There was this animal that would try and bring him wrappers of some kind, though he's not sure what he should do with them, he's been keeping them in the smallest pocket of his bag.
His bag wasn't very big, just big enough to fit his sketchbook, pencils, medicine, a canteen of water, and Replicas charging block and cord.
The medicine was in case his Trion levels were too low, he could take one to sleep and recover. When you sleep you don't use nearly as much energy, so it was a good alternative to just sitting and waiting.
Yuuma was never good at waiting. He didn't wait for the war to end peacefully, he charged in and took it for Calvaria with force. He shed blood, but not his, other people's. People who had families, hopes, futures, who were most likely loved and cared for. Yuuma had taken each life with practiced ease. It wasn't surprising that many people, even from Clavaria, called him a monster. He was, wasn't he?
As if called out by his thoughts alone, the small black fur jumped down from the plastic, green box. Its black fur resembled spikes that went up in different directions, and yellow eyes that glowed in the light.
The unnamed animal meowed, its ear twitched as it put a paw on his thigh, making Yuuma move his hand over and gently stroke the small creature's head. How something so small and fragile could survive when things like cars existed here was a wonder to him.
Maybe he should call it ‘Car’ since it can survive the cars. Or maybe not, seems like a strange name to give a living, breathing animal. He wished he knew its name, but animals can't talk. Or maybe it can, and it doesn't talk for its safety? Yuuma can understand that.
The unidentified animal ran under the box, grabbing a small colorful wrapper from it, placing it in Yuuma's hand. He thanked the small black fur by giving it a crumb from the bottom of his bag, which was eaten immediately. He didn't understand why he was given so many gifts from the creature, but it doesn't quite matter.
He placed the wrapper among the others, being careful not to rip or destroy it. Yuuma can be very gentle when he wants to be, which is very rare for the Neighbor.
He stood up, dusting off his pants. His pants had more sewn on patches keeping it together than what it had been originally. He thanks the stars that his father taught him how to sew when he was alive.
He put the hood off his cloak up, hiding his face from passerbys. The animal jumped on to his bag as he lifted it and put it over his head, so it was going diagonally across his chest, and keeping it secure on him. He placed the small animal in the bag, making sure it was comfortable before walking down the streets of Mikado city. Replica had already hidden away deep inside his ring, concealing any sign that he was a neighbor.
He looked in three different trashcans, finding no food in the fourth or fifth either. He was getting quite restless with how hungry he was. He surely must've been imagining things when he saw a circle shaped crisp be shoved in front of his face.
He had been bending over and looking through his sixth trashcan, when all of a sudden a man called out to him. He had dusted himself off, for what felt like the hundredth time that night. Turning to the man with the teal glasses, and a bag of what Yuuma could only guess was food from how it smelled.
“Want a rice cracker?” was all he said, before shoving the ‘Rice-Cracker’ into his mouth. He was thankful for it however, eating in a record amount of time.
He probably should've asked if that was poisoned, oh well. He wiped the crumbs away from his mouth, realizing this was a complete stranger. “Who are you?” He asked, narrowing his eyes.
“I'm Yuuichi Jin! Power elite.” He said, a cocky smirk forming across his features. It wasn't a lie, though that just made Yuuma more suspicious.
“Was that poisoned?” He asked, gripping the metal trash can with enough force to break a bone.
“Nope! But it was pretty delicious, eh?” He grinned, holding out the bag, as if to offer more of the circle shaped crackers. Another truth that just made Yuuma question his motives more, and more.
“Do you want something from me?” He let go of the trashcan, his fingers having made an imprint on the rim.
The man tilted his head, seemingly disappointed he didn't take another cracker. “Well, no, but I'm sure you need something from me.” He responded, only fueling the confusion Yuuma felt.
He wasn't lying, which was as helpful as the unidentified animal giving him wrappers. How could someone be so certain that another person needed something from them? Especially if you don't know them.
“Well I don't, Goodnight.”
He turned on his heel, about to walk the other way, and leave this confusing situation.
“Don't you wanna know what that animal is called?”
He froze. He was sure the animal had stayed quiet, never making a sound, and he knew that it couldn't be seen. “How—”
“It's a Cat.” A Kat? What a strange name, though he supposed it did fit the animal nicely. He can most definitely give it a proper name based on that.
“Thank you..Now, goodnight.” He said curtly, walking as fast as he could away from the situation. He didn't ever want to encounter that man again. He had a feeling there was more to his actions than Yuuma could see right now.
He just hasn't figured it out yet.
Getting back to where he had been staying the past few nights, he took the small kat out of his bag, placing it in front of him where he sat criss-crossed. “Hmm” he pushed his lips into something that resembled a duck, crossing his arms. “How about..Kit?” The kitten meowed loudly, which Yuuma assumed was a yes.
He nodded twice, reciting the name, and committing it to memory.
He could worry about Jin, and everything else tomorrow. For now, he'll just enjoy having a new friend. He sighed, looking up at the stars one last time, before getting up to look for food again.
Maybe things won't be so terrible after all.