Chapter Text
The wall broke for Mike as all the time that had passed came back to him. Will was trying to dress a wound on Mike’s arm. Mike would have been focused on that strange intimacy if not for what he saw once Will had torn away some of his own undershirt to dress the wound with. Will didn’t stop to put his layers back on and there in the space where the fabric had been torn away was a scar.
Mike had no idea where that had come from. It was very noticeable and yet, Will had never shared with him that he had it.
“When did that happen?” Mike groaned as Will tightened his makeshift bandage.
“What?” Will asked, obviously distracted by his own efforts.
Mike pointed instead of saying anything. Will looked down and then up at Mike.
“It’s just a scar.” Will shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. You’ll probably have one too on your arm.” Will pulled back “Is it too tight?”
Mike breezed right past his question. He was mad. Mike was actually mad that Will was dismissing his question, not just because he wanted to know, but because Will was pushing away Mike’s concerns once again. Everything had changed after Halloween in ‘84 when Will became possessed. Will got distant. He stopped talking with Mike as much. The only thing Will seemed to engage with was D&D and Mike could feel that distance growing between them even then.
Mike tried to pretend things didn’t hurt, that the distance wasn’t a big deal, but it was. Will freezing him out of those soft conversations about everything they both were going through, Mike didn’t realize it at the time, but it made him want to turn to El even more.
“Why did you stop telling me things?” Mike asked softly.
His voice was so pained and small he wasn’t even sure he’d spoken the question or even that he had actually intended to ask it aloud.
“It’s just a scar, Mike.” Will almost laughed, but it was clear he was uncomfortable.
“What aren’t you telling me now?”
Mike’s voice was almost pleading, but there was anger there that made Will hesitate in confusion.
“This doesn’t matter. We have bigger things to worry about.” Will’s voice turned to quiet frustration.
Mike’s anger built. Will had pushed him away after everything happened. Froze him out, only wanted to play D&D with him and the other members of the party. Will didn’t even come to him when he first felt the shadow monster again. Instead, Will had lied to him, twice. Once by omission at the farm, and once to his face at the movie theater when Will very clearly wasn’t fine. Mike had swallowed his concern then, had the falling out with El and then, when Mike really needed Will, Will wanted them to sit down and play D&D like Mike hadn’t just lost his girlfriend.
Mike tried to engage, but he couldn’t, all he wanted to do was vent his anger and frustration, but the only person that was listening was Lucas….and Lucas was just….well….he was Lucas. Mike needed Will. He wanted Will, but Will just set up the D&D board like nothing else mattered to him.
Mike tried to play, he really did. He couldn’t though, he was distracted by El. When Will snapped at him, Mike had tried to explain, he wanted to apologize, but then, Will threw El right in his face, like Will hadn’t been the reason Mike had turned his focus to her in the first place. So with all the bitterness and loneliness of losing his friendship with Will on his mind, Mike snapped and said something he wished he hadn’t.
‘It’s not my fault you don’t like girls.’
The hurt and recognition in Will’s face. Will hadn’t understood why Mike said it. Mike had tried to explain, tried to soften the blow because he knew he couldn’t take those words back. Will didn’t understand, Mike wanted him to understand, to know that they were moving in different directions now. Instead, Will had pushed him away again with his own version of ‘you don’t understand.’
When he’d gone searching for Will later that night with Lucas, the extent to which Mike didn’t understand became clear. Will had lied and kept things from him. Mike was heartbroken, but also terrified, so he hovered again once he knew. Not because he suddenly cared after not caring, but because Will had avoided letting him in.
Then Will left for California after everything at Starcourt Mall and Mike was alone. El wrote him. Will didn’t. Mike tried to call and the line was busy. He remembered the desperation of wanting to hear from El, but he wanted to hear Will on that phone. Their two conversations were stilted and rough. Something that had always come easy for them was now foreign. Mike blamed himself, but he kept trying. Will didn’t.
Mike tried to go through El to get even a crumb of how his best friend was fairing two-thousand miles away. This was when she told him about the painting Will was making for a girl. God, his guts twisted a bit. He got so stuck on it that he was almost late for school that morning.
‘A girl he likes’
Another thing Will had not told him about. Mike had told Will all about El before they ever had a chance to meet and then, Will had turned around and left him out of his own interest in a girl.
It turned out the painting was for him, but Will had lied to him, yet again, straight to his face. Mike swallowed that. He had to. Will had been so good, he’d been Mike’s friend again, the one Mike could confide it, feel safe with his worries, the things that were on his heart. He didn’t want to ruin that return to familiarity and comfort by challenging what Will said about where it came from or why he made it. Even though it hurt.
“Is this what we are now?” Mike said sharply. “You just lie and keep things from me?”
“What?” Will shrugged, he stood up looking defensive and completely confused. “It’s just a scar, Michael, what the hell?”
“It’s not just a scar, Will. You used to tell me everything. At least, I thought you did. All you do is lie right to my fucking face and freeze me out. You would have told me exactly what happened before….”
Suddenly, Mike stopped. Not just because he didn’t want to say it, but because he was wrestling with what had turned into almost three years of resentment that Will had stopped confiding in him. Will had stopped needing him.
“What?” Will spat the question. A single word full of accusation, like Mike should know the answer.
He didn’t.
“I wanted to be there for you, Will, but you stopped letting me. You kept pushing me away and pushing me away after everything. I keep finding out about things later like I’m just some acquaintance and not your best friend.”
“I haven’t been your best friend, Mike.” Will’s own voice was strained now, wrestling free of his confusion.
Mike had to take a breath because he felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. Here he was, sitting against a pillar, under a bridge, freezing his butt off, Will towering over him, saying they weren’t best friends.
“Is that why you lied to me about the painting?” Mike asked, stunned.
“FUCK!” Will barked loudly and tore at his hair and Mike could see tears forming as Will threw his head back.
Will swearing in anger caught Mike off guard first because he’d never heard him do that before, and then because the way Will had said it sounded angry and frustrated, not stunned he’d been caught. Will didn’t even have the decency to feel shame for lying.
“Friends don’t lie, Will. We made that a thing between all of us. So we’re not friends anymore?” Mike snapped back with the question really on his mind, not just some random scar.
“What do you want me to say?” Will almost yelled.
This caused Mike to freeze and go back to the moment Will had yelled at him in the basement, just before their fight in the garage. Mike is many things. Emotionally stunted, poor at communication, quick tempered when people don’t listen. He’s also a terrific tracker of facts and information. The question itself isn’t what caused everything to click. It was the two times Will had ever yelled at him like that. The basement and here and now.
“Everything changed because of El, didn’t it.” Mike stated softly almost too himself.
“You don’t understand anything.” Will defended.
“You’re wrong.” Mike said, his voice settling into the soft tone Will always responded to when he felt wounded. “I couldn’t stop talking about her to you back then, before she came back. Then she did, and you started pulling away.”
“I didn’t...” Will protested.
Will’s body language become extremely defensive. Will’s arms were crossed, his head was down and his eyes were nearly closed.
“Yes you did.” Mike said gently. This wasn’t an accusation. Mike was apologizing in his own way and Will knew it. Mike could tell he knew by the way he retreated more without really moving, as if to deny Mike’s words. “Will, come on, sit down, okay?”
“Why are you making me do this, now? The whole fucking world is ending, you asshole.” Will sniffed.
“Then there’s no better time to clear things up between us, is there?” Mike asked. “Come on, please sit down.”
The world finally made sense and Mike was able to fit it together.
“This was all my fault. I couldn’t understand it, but your words in the van…..” Mike stopped as Will slid down the pillar to sit next to Mike. “You apologized for pushing me away, for being mean to me. You said the words were from El, but I’m not that stupid and I’m stupid about a lot of things. Women being one of them, apparently.”
“What?” Will almost laughed at his own question.
“Don’t distract me.” Mike grinned. “I’m getting into deep shit here, man.” Mike continued, “You knew you were pushing me away and you apologized, but you lied while doing it. I didn’t get it, then, I was stunned and then I felt angry, but then you were crying, so I let it go.”
Mike took a long breath and gave himself a moment.
“I saw your scar and I just...Will...I can’t stand this distance between us. I need you, even if you don’t need me anymore. I need my best friend. I don’t want us to have secrets from each other, that’s not who we are to each other.”
“Mike….I….” Will stopped himself, looking down at his hands, then glancing forward at his feet straight out in front of him. The silence persisted until Mike broke it.
“Don’t need me, I know.”
“You….I didn’t want to burden you because I was sure eventually you’d get tired of me and move on.” Will admitted. “You practically worshiped El, god, next to the way you talked about her, I meant less than nothing.”
Mike didn’t respond with words in that moment. He placed his hand on top of Will’s. It was just like that day in Will’s room when Will was fighting and freezing and scared and overwhelmed. Mike didn’t move out of some vain attempt to steal a moment, the way he might have with El. He wanted Will to understand that he was there, that they were together.
“You were always someone important to me.” Mike said finally. “Never doubt that for a single second, you idiot.” Will was staring at Mike’s hand on his. Mike noticed this and squeezed Will’s hand for emphasis.
“I can’t….it can’t be like it was before, Mike.” Will said, pain covering his words.
“Why not?” Mike asked softly, staring at the side of Will’s face, hoping Will would turn to face him.
“We’re on completely different paths. You don’t need me anymore. You have El.” Will said, without a hint of frustration or jealousy. Will sounded resigned to Mike. “That closeness doesn’t belong to me anymore, it can’t.”
“Do you think people in relationships don’t need best friends?” Mike asked.
“Mike, stop being so dense about this.” Will said, sounding both crushed and frusterated.
“Tell me why you think you have to abandon me if I’m with El.”
Mike’s words don’t sound like a demand. They sound like an offering, but to Will, that offering is utterly cruel.
“Stop.” Will started to get heated and he pulled his hand back, far too aware of their closeness. The rejection was not lost on Mike. “Just...stop picking at this. Stop asking about this….leave my scar alone. Leave me alone now that I think of it.”
“Will….Tell me why….let me fix it.” Mike said, trying ever so slightly to prevent Will from bolting right then.
“You can’t fix it, Mike.” Will’s tone was begging now.
“Then what can I do?” Mike asked earnestly.
“Please stop.” Will did beg this time.
“Okay.” Mike said, affirming Will’s request.
Several minutes of silence passed before Mike spoke again when he saw Will shivering.
“You’re cold.” Mike stated, sounding concerned.
“Freezing.” Will confirmed, shivering.
Despite the pain in his arm, he helped Will put his layers back on over his torn t-shirt. Mike then gave Will his own jacket, putting it over him like a blanket and pulling him close.
“You need to warm up. You’re no good if you’re shivering, we’ll have to go on the move once Hopper and El get back.”
More silence followed and then Will did something that utterly stunned Mike.
Will fell asleep against his side. It shouldn’t have been surprising. They’d been on the move since Halloween and it was nearly three days later. Mike hadn’t seen Will sleep at all. Mike had himself managed a little sleep, but every time he woke up, he found Will almost standing guard watching out toward the woods behind the radio station.
Mike didn’t find himself feeling tense or confused about this closeness. Not like with El. Everything felt so easy with Will. Mike let out a breath and something inside him, deep in the depths came up and made its way out, something that had felt excruciating and painful when he’d let it come out before.
“I love you.” He said softly as Will stirred.
Mike squeezed him even closer.