Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

How do I speak to it?

The tiny horse(though still bigger than him) was the most beautiful he'd ever seen: completely white with a golden mane that shines in the sun. It almost trembled, or something similar to it, he didn't really know, but he thought he would tremble too when facing someone unknown.

He tried to make himself non-threatening – which was not difficult considering his tiny stature – so the horse wouldn't be frightened of him. He didn't want it to run away, to be scared of him. He wanted it to stay. Such beauty. Selfishly, he wished it to stay so he could stare at it forever.

Should he talk to him? Would it understand? Some horses were smart to be able to understand certain orders or words, but that didn't mean every horse was capable of it. Beauty did not always mean intelligence.

Would it have a name? A home? Or would it be a lost one, like him? Someone always roaming and never belonging anywhere? 

The horse was tiny, but compared to a child like him, it seemed giant. Would it trample him with its hooves or with its teeth? Would it do nothing?

“Hello,” he said softly. Almost whispering. Perhaps it would understand he didn't mean harm if he spoke softly. Not loud, not commanding like some adults he encountered. With their loud voices, ordering everyone around, their stinking breath, their big hands, their guns, their money, their hunger for certain drinks or people. He never really liked adults. He barely trusted them to begin with. Adults liked to lie and to hurt. 

The horse slowly turned its head to him and the gaze in its dark eyes felt intense. Maybe it planned to trample him with his hooves anyway. It ain't as if he could fight back with his tiny hands without any weapon. 

It didn't. It didn't trample him, it didn't show its teeth, it didn't do anything but stare at him. Perhaps it was thinking. Could a horse think? Could a horse talk? Maybe not like humans, but in its own way, a way they could understand each other with.

“My name is Luke,” he said. Softly. And then, slowly and carefully, he touched its fur while constantly looking at him to see whether the horse wanted it or not. It didn't really show an emotion Luke could understand. Its fur felt soft and warm, and he almost thought he could sleep next to it. It made a comforting presence.

He started petting it, slowly and the horse closed its eyes. It felt right, somehow. As if this was always meant to happen.

The horse opened its eyes again and stared at him, its dark eyes still intense. But this time, Luke almost thought there's an understanding between them. The horse wouldn't run away. It wouldn't kill him. It would stay. Not for long, perhaps, but it would stay, even for a bit. 

“It's okay,” he continued. “I'll talk enough for the both of us.”

The horse blinked slowly. He didn't know what that meant, but it felt right. Good.

*

Luke remembered a certain day in the sun when he saw a confident adult with a gun. The man had a beard and his boots almost seemed to be falling off. They were in terrible condition. His breath smelled rather disgusting too. The man had said to many people around him how good he was with his gun, which annoyed the people around him if their frowns and scoffs meant anything.

Then, the man had looked down at Luke with a big grin. “You wanna see somethin’ cool, kid?”

Luke shrugged. 

He took Luke's silence as confirmation. He held the gun correctly, but slowly, as if there was an audience hanging onto every movement. He looked at Luke, but then, he accidentally pulled the trigger.

Both of them, and the people nearby, jumped at the loud sound. Luke had almost covered his ears with his hands. The man chuckled awkwardly, but then they heard a loud neighing from a horse, that was too loud and uncontrolled to be something good.

They saw the horse bleed, the liquid falling on the ground and leaving a trail. People quickly ran away to be safe, but the horse quickly fell on the ground. It whimpered, moved slowly, until it didn't move at all and made no sound.

“Ah well,” the man said. He noticed Luke's shocked expression, his eyes wide and trembling. “Relax, kid. That's life.” He put a hand on his shoulder.

Luke wanted to tear it away, but he couldn't. He could only look at the horse, the blood still dripping. 

From then on, he didn't have such an interest in guns as he did before. Not after seeing how quickly it could kill.

*

The horse deserved a name.

“D'ya have a name?” he asked. Still softly. Perhaps he could speak more confidently if the horse stayed longer, but he didn't want to scare it away.

The horse just blinked.

“Right.”

What did a horse like? Carrot. Green things. Grass? Maybe it wanted food. Maybe it'd trust him more if he showed things the horse liked.

They just walked for the moment. That's okay. Luke likes to walk. He enjoys the wind and the sun and being on his own in silence. He enjoys staring at the sunset. Now that he has a companion, it feels stronger.

“D'ya like the sunset too?”

The horse neighed.

“I'll take that as a yes.”

Silence.

“I wish you could talk.”

“You probably wish that too, from time to time. Maybe.”

The horse neighed. 

“You're right. Sunset is better than.. the other.”

He liked the horse. He wanted to keep it. 

“Would ya want to stay with me forever?”

The horse blinked. Luke probably imagined it, but it's as if the horse communicated with his eyes. As if he wanted to say, what type of question is that?

“Sorry. But you're very beautiful. I wish I could call ya by your name.”

The horse almost acted as if it could think. It took a few steps back. It moved its tail and then it ran and jumped rather high.

“You jump very high.”

The horse neighed.

“Is a neigh yes?”

The horse neighed again.

Luke noticed – or imagined – how the horse enjoyed running. Which is fair, he thought. Running must mean freedom. And with such high jumps..

“Does your name have something to do with jumping?”

The horse neighed.

Luke came up with a few random names, some of which even he had to admit were absolutely ridiculous. The horse kept wagging his tail left and right at his answers until it suddenly looked up and neighed at his last answer.

“Jolly Jumper,” Luke said definitively. “Your name is Jolly Jumper.”

The horse slowly bowed its head a little. Luke caressed it with his hand and whispered: “Nice to meet you, Jolly Jumper.”

Chapter Text

When Luke was younger, he remembered being sometimes called a child of ghosts, since there was no one he could call family. No parents, no siblings, no aunts, no uncles. Though he can't remember if he called himself that, or someone else. 

Perhaps Jolly Jumper wanted to be family.

“Do ya know your family, Jolly Jumper?” he asked. “I wish I knew mine. I wanna know who I got my face from. My hair. My eyes. My–”

He cut himself off for a moment. Jolly turned to look at him. Luke tells himself Jolly listened because he cared.

He stood on his toes to reach Jolly's ears. “You can keep a secret, can't ya, Jolly?” he whispered. Jolly didn't respond, as usual. “I want to know who I've got my shadow from. I'm faster than it. That ain't normal, right?”

Jolly bristled.

Luke sighed. “Yeah. Sorry to drop it on ya. But I trust you, Jolly.”

Jolly didn't reply.

“Yep. That's why.”

*

Jolly is a smart horse.

The night before, Jolly was laying on the sand when Luke set up the campfire. It was something he could do rather well, and he was proud of it too. 

Jolly stared at him with its dark eyes. It made Luke a bit uneasy - as if his soul was bared before this horse.

“Your eyes are incredibly dark, Jolly,” he said. “Like mine, but darker.” The fire sparkled and gave some warmth. “I think you gotta be smart in some way cause you understand me, right? I ask you to stay and you do. That's very nice. You know, Jolly–” and Luke was fiddling with the branches at this point to be able to do something with his hands, “I had a man who took care of me. He was nice. Sometimes. He was strict mostly, but sometimes nice. Terrible breath, but cause of the whiskey, I think. And then he left me like a coward–”

He threw the very tiny branches on the ground. “It's fine. It's fine,” he whispered.

Jolly stood up and slowly walked over to Luke. He laid down next to him and stared at him, as if telling him he could touch him.

Luke petted his fur. “Thank you.”

He gave Jolly a kiss on his forehead before laying down softly on his fur. Jolly didn't move at all.

*

The sun, like every day, sinks once again beyond the..

Well, Luke doesn't know where the sun goes exactly. He does know it comes back each day and it goes down each evening. And it's during such moments that he stared at the sun. It was surrounded in a beautiful orange hue.

He always tries to look when it goes down. He always looked when he was in the orphanage through a tiny window in his room. And after the orphanage, every day meant survival. There was no time to stare at the beauty of the sun when you had to focus on having something to eat, drink, and sleep somewhere without being disturbed. But after a few weeks, he got used to his new life, and he could stare again in peace. On his own, because he had no one, and because Oldtimer didn't understand why he wanted to look at it. According to him, there were better things to do.

He stared at the sun while laying next to Jolly Jumper. He wondered if horses can see its beauty too or not. Perhaps they saw different colors? Luke briefly stared at Jolly's hair that gets shined upon by the sun and he was in awe of how much it looked like the sun itself.

“Do ya like it too?” he asked.

Jolly neighed.

Luke smiled. “I'm happy you're here with me,” he said and he gave Jolly a kiss – which seemed to become a habit – and Jolly suddenly turned his head and looked into Luke's eyes which almost seemed to be filled with love. 

For a horse, Jolly could look extremely human.

*

The sand felt rough. The sun burned. He was laying down in the sand and every breath taken felt intense, as if it took him difficulty to even breathe. 

Jolly Jumper suffered too, but seemingly less. He was capable of standing on his legs and running, but he laid down as well, till he looked at Luke whose eyes just stared into nothing and Jolly got up again. He neighed softly and then ran away at lightning speed.

Luke wanted to get up, but he couldn't get his legs and arms to move. He softly wheezed when Jolly ran away.

What are you doing? Are you getting help? Are you leaving me? Are you gonna do that too? Don't leave me. You're my friend. We're friends. You don't leave friends behind. Not even the ones who ain't good. 

He closed his eyes and he'd like to fall asleep, but he knew it wouldn't come. It felt like an eternity until he suddenly heard the sound of hooves and he opened his eyes again and saw Jolly Jumper run to him fast, with a bucket in his mouth while water occasionally spilled out.

Where did you get that?

Jolly dropped the bucket softly in front of him. He used his head to be able to get Luke to sit up, which did help. Luke cupped the water in his hands and he drank it like a man who hadn't seen water in days.

After some time, feeling slightly better, he gave the rest of the bucket to Jolly, who drank it eagerly as Luke petted him.

“I thought you were gonna leave me,” he said. Jolly kept drinking. That's okay. He knew Jolly wouldn't talk. He couldn't. “Sorry. Thank you.”

*

“Don't move so much, Jolly. I know it ain't fun, but it ain't gonna work if you–”

Jolly neighed loudly again and constantly moved his head away.

Luke groaned. “Stop it!” Jolly spent time in the dirt(or maybe mud, but probably dirt) and he looked like a mess. His beautiful white fur had turned brown and Luke tried to clean him with water, if only his horse would stop moving so much. It probably itched for Jolly, but it'd go faster if he would just wait.

Jolly, finally, stopped moving. He occasionally bristled and he wagged his tail to show his annoyance, but he no longer complained. Luke cleaned off the dirt and slowly, Jolly's fur that resembled snow started to return.

“See,” Luke said, a bit more smug than he should. “It goes faster when you're silent.”

Jolly bristled.

“Yeah, I know. It ain't fun. But you gotta be more careful next time. I thought you were a different horse at first.”

Time passed in silence and after some time, Jolly didn't move at all. When Luke finished, Jolly seemed more content.

“Look. Now you're beautiful again.”

Jolly stared at him.

“Joking. You're always beautiful.”

*

It'd been a few days since Jolly Jumper's incident where he was covered in dirt. Jolly seemed to trust Luke more afterwards by frequently standing closer to him.

“I like you too, Jolly,” he responded.

After a short silence, he opened his mouth to say something, but they both stopped when they heard hooves coming their way.

And then everything went fast.

It all happened in a blur – more horses, adults with guns, smoking, laughing. They got off their respective horses – all black – and they separated him from Jolly Jumper, their rough hands easily pushing him away and they didn't even look when he fell on the ground. Jolly bristled constantly, refusing to cooperate, even almost biting the leader, who was a tall man and had a scar on his face.

“Ain't that a beautiful horse?” he said to no one in particular, petting Jolly Jumper's fur, but in a rough way. He didn't seem to care for Jolly's fur.

“Calm down, calm down,” he continued when Jolly neighed and he took his head away to avoid being bitten. “Why so aggressive?”

“You smell like shit and he doesn't like it,” one of his friends – at least Luke thought they're friends – said.

“Want to be his meal?” the leader replied to which the shorter man shut his mouth. He then looked back at Jolly. “He's worth more than most of the horses we sell.”

When Luke heard those words, he felt his heart burn with anger, and a slight confidence to not let these men walk over him, even if they're bigger and stronger. “Jolly Jumper ain't a thing to be sold.”

They all turned around, frowning.

“Who the hell is this?” the leader asked, but his companions shrugged.

“Go back home, kid. Your mom's missing ya.”

“Jolly Jumper ain't yours.”

“What kind of name is that?”

“It's his name.”

The man scoffed. “Horses need no names.” He commanded his men to tie up Jolly Jumper, but Luke stood in front of him as the man clenched his fist, clearly impatient.

“He ain't yours!” Luke repeated, a little louder, staring in his eyes. He knew he was trembling a little, but his voice was rather stable and he surprised himself.

“Is he yours? I don't see your name on ‘im.”

“Leave him alone. You ain't getting him.”

They laughed. “What are you gonna do, little boy?” the leader said as he slightly bowed down to Luke's height.

“I ain't letting you take him.”

“What a pity you're useless, then,” he replied and he took a step closer. Luke inhaled sharply and almost looked down, but he managed to keep his gaze on the man. He had a long face with a scar and a stubble. His eyes were blue, not the comforting blue of the morning sky, but the blue of an endless drowning sea that had taken many victims.

They tried to tie up Jolly with a rope and in response, Jolly neighed loudly and kicked his legs. One of the men got hit by his leg and groaned in pain. 

“Whip the fucking mutt!” he said, clenching his teeth, holding a hand to his knee where Jolly hit him.

Luke gasped when seeing the leader let it happen. One of the other men – the one who wasn't injured – took out a whip where Luke couldn't see and he raised it in the sky. The sun shone on it like an angel that would be sent down to Earth, but instead of an angel it was a weapon.

It rose higher in the sky, and Luke had no idea what he's doing. His legs moved further than his brain. But he ran instantly and stood in front of the spot where the whip would come down. No matter what happened, he commanded himself to not move. They couldn't hurt Jolly.

He never felt the whip on him.

Neither did he hear the loud painful neighing of a horse.

Luke opened his eyes. He was on the ground, his hands protecting his head in a feeble attempt. He looked around him. The men were gone. Jolly Jumper's fur was as white as snow, apart from a tiny spot where red liquid was dripping.

He wordlessly whispered Jolly's name as he was unable to speak. He ignored the sting of tears in his eyes when seeing the blood on his horse's fur. He touched it, slowly. Jolly let him. The blood stained his fingers. The smell didn't remind Luke of anything in particular, but he believed he'd associate it with this moment from now on.

“It's okay.”

Luke frowned. That's not what his voice sounded like. His voice was not particularly low. He didn't even open his mouth. Where did that come from?

“It's me.”

Luke looked at Jolly's face, whose eyes shined despite the pain he just experienced. He shook his head in disbelief.

“No.”

Jolly tilted his head to the side.

“No?” 

Jolly Jumper speaks.

“You can talk,” Luke whispered.

Jolly looked down.

“Why didn't you before?”

He was silent. Luke didn't mind his silence, but now that he has heard his friend actually talk, he wanted him to keep talking.

“It's okay,” Jolly repeated again.

“It ain't okay.” Luke said. He held his hand against the blood, as if it would help.

“Could've been worse,” Jolly said. His voice was a bit low, and he spoke nicely. He liked Jolly's voice. More than his own voice.

“You can talk,” Luke repeated, but not in disbelief this time. Out of fascination. A smile appeared on his face. “We can understand each other properly now.”

“I'm sorry for not doing so before,” Jolly said.

Luke wanted to be angry. To be disappointed. But he couldn't bring it in himself to be unhappy with Jolly Jumper. Jolly is his friend. Jolly is family.

Jolly was about to say something, but Luke softly kissed his bloodied fur. His lips became red.

“Why would you–”

Luke cut him off. “You got hurt because of me.”

Jolly's head tilted back and if he were human, Luke was sure his eyes would widen. Then his head lowered and he nuzzled him.

“I've never met a human like you before.”

“I ain't never met a talking horse.”

Jolly snorted. “I mean your kindness. That's a first for me.”

“There are a lot of kind people.”

“Perhaps. But I doubt they'll be as kind as you.”

“You're too kind yourself, Jolly.” He wrapped his arms around Jolly's neck.

They stood there in silence – no words needed to be spoken. From this moment on, they both understand they have a bond. The blood still dripped occasionally on the ground. 

Luke's lips were still red.

Chapter Text

Since the moment Luke found out Jolly could talk, he loved his friend even more.

Jolly was rather sarcastic. He joked frequently and liked to make fun of Luke, but he was also serious and critical and sometimes impatient. Luke didn't mind.

Jolly was very smart, smarter than Luke predicted. Jolly could read and speak better than him. He had no idea where a horse would've learned that, but he wasn't jealous. 

“It still ain't real for me that you can talk,” he said. “How?”

“I learned,” Jolly replied. “It took a long time, but I learned.”

“Could I learn horse?”

Jolly snorted. “Sure. But don't call it horse.”

Luke still called it horse.

Jolly stopped correcting him at some point.

*

Months passed. Luke remembered when Jolly was tiny. When his friend didn't talk, didn't share his thoughts. When he got out and made himself dirty. When he let himself be hurt to protect Luke, all without making a single noise. 

“D'ya have a birthday, Jolly?” he asked. “Y'know, when God gave ya life.”

“Of course. Why?”

“When is it?”

Jolly told him.

Luke held Jolly's birthday like a fire in his heart.

*

“I love you, Jolly.”

Jolly paused. Normal. Luke himself didn't think he would ever use that word, not for himself or for anyone. But Jolly made him feel different, Jolly made him feel safe. Made him feel he could take on the world - or maybe not the world, just America - as long as Jolly was by his side because together, they were unstoppable.

Jolly nuzzled him instead of replying.

But the answer was clear.

*

Luke remembered when Oldtimer forced him to go to the worst place in the world: school.

It was stupid, it was boring, it was annoying, it was useless. School was the worst place he had ever been in. The only thing he could remember was learning how to read and write and he still struggled with both of them. 

The only thing he remembered what to write properly(besides his own name) was: 

Oldtimer. For always remembered in our hearts.

Luke did not hold the man in his heart, but the man was persistent on him being able to write so he could write it on Oldtimer's tomb. Was he dead? He had no idea. He didn't care either. If he was dead or not, it didn't matter.

(He did care, but he told himself he didn't.)

“How d'ya spell your name, Jolly?”

Jolly, with his never-ending wisdom, wrote his name in the sand. J-O-L-L-Y.

After Oldtimer's tomb and his own name, Luke remembered a new word to spell correctly. Jolly.

*

“Luke is a nice name,” Jolly said.

“Is it?”

“Yeah. It fits you.”

“Your name fits you too, Jolly.”

Jolly smiled. “Did the orphanage give you that name?”

Luke shrugged. He said bits and pieces about his time at the orphanage to Oldtimer, but he never could manage to trust the man completely to say everything. He didn't tell everything to Jolly either, but in the span of a few weeks - or a few months - Jolly knew more than Oldtimer did. 

“I dunno. Maybe.”

“It's one thing they would've done right.”

“Yeah. I like my name.”

Jolly laughed all of a sudden. Luke frowned.

“What's so funny?” he asked.

“Imagine they called you something like Larry.”

“Luckily not.”

Whoever was responsible for his name, he was always grateful for that. It matched perfectly with his trait, a nickname people started to give him. Luke had no idea what to make of the name, but he didn't hate it that much. 

Lucky Luke rolled easily off the tongue.

With each day, he found himself getting used to it and wondered how long it would take for it to be forgotten.

*

Luke remembered when he was called a child of ghosts, but now he preferred a different title – a child belonging to a horse.

Jolly said it made no sense. According to him, it's the opposite way. A horse belongs to a human. 

Which Luke thinks is stupid, but he doesn't go deep into it - there are more stupid rules than that. He just accepts it, though he doesn't shake the feeling off. Jolly may belong to him officially, their bond makes them belong to each other. Luke is not complete without Jolly and Jolly is not complete without him.

That's all.

That's all they are.