Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Friday night beneath the stars

In a field behind your yard

You and I are painting pictures in the sky

And sometimes, we don't say a thing

Just listen to the crickets sing

Everything I need is right here by my side

🌸

“So, did you decide which Pokemon you’re taking with you?”, Goh asks, and Ash hums in deep thought.

“Not yet, but I’m definitely taking Sceptile and Infernape with me”, Ash sheepishly laughs, and Goh chuckles too.

“Well, you have lots of time to decide”, Goh intertwines their hands together, and Ash pulls him closer to place a kiss over Goh’s cheek.

Lots of time is only a month. A month that will pass quickly, and yet…Goh still hasn’t decided if he’s gonna come along or stay in Vermillion and only visit Ash occasionally. They only talked briefly about it, not going into much detail, but Ash knows that the closer it gets to the day he will leave, the sooner they’ll need to have that talk. Ash assumes that Goh leans more towards staying in Vermillion, to be close to his Pokemon, and Ash isn’t upset about it. Ash knows that it’s hard for Goh to leave Vermillion for more than a few weeks. It was never a problem for Ash. For Ash – home is wherever Goh is, but Goh gets homesick really quick, missing his Pokemon when they are going for a few days research, and if Goh would have to leave for longer – Ash knows that it would get hard for him eventually. So if Goh rather stay in Vermillion, Ash will support that. He knows that in some way, the distance will strengthen their relationship. It surely will. The proof is in Ash’s pocket.

Happy and excited Bayleef’s exclamations reach Ash’s ears, and before he can ponder on what’s happening, he’s laying on grass, Bayleef nuzzling into his chest. At least Goh has managed to escape as he comes to their side, smiling softly at the scene.

“Excited to see me, huh?”, Ash muses, petting the Pokemon a few times before he gently pulls her away so she won’t crush him.

Goh rests his hands over Ash’s shoulders as he wonders. “Maybe you could take her with you?”.

“I think that’s a good idea, actually. You have something in common”, Ash winks, and Goh raises his brow in confusion, but before he can ask what it is, Ash pulls him into a sweet and long kiss.

Bayleef tilts her head as she watches them with a disbelief written over her face. When she showed affection, she got pulled away because it got too much, but her trainer shows affection to someone else without caring about anything, and doesn’t pull away? She feels hurt over it. She’s equally important to her trainer, right? But Ash doesn’t look at her with loving eyes like he does at him, and doesn't pet her as long as he moves his hand through his hair.

The disbelief quickly turns into anger and pure jealousy as she uses her vine whip to separate her trainer from someone who takes her place.

It takes them both by surprise, but Ash laughs at the whole thing. “Maybe Grookey could play with her? I think she’s bored, where is he, by the way?”.

“Oh, he was tired, so I recalled him back to his Pokeball. I think he should be fine now, though”, Goh rushily explains as he fishes for Grookey’s Pokeball in his pocket.

Bayleef’s eyes widen when she sees the boy who stole Ash from her holding a Pokeball, and that’s when she remembers – Gible and Palpitoad wearing big bows, and the boy catching them, and her trainer was happy about it. They aren’t here anymore, and will it happen to her, too? She doesn’t want to be caught by him. She’s Ash’s only, right?

Bayleef rapidly shakes her head, exclaiming a terrified Bay Bay a few times, and Ash frowns at her behavior. Goh looks over at her, concerned, but the realization hits him. “Oh, no, no, it’s my Pokemon here, I wasn’t trying to cat–”, it gets caught off by Bayleef jumping at Ash. He can sense her anger, so he tries to soothe her by petting her.

“Hey, it’s okay, Goh is not a danger”, Ash softly explains, and Goh comes closer, too, as he extends his hand to touch her. Bayleef’s eyes catch the movement as she exclaims angrily, extending another vine whip, but this time to hit Goh with it so he won’t come closer to her.

Goh gets startled by that as he curls to himself, but thankfully, Ash blocks it with his forearm. Bayleef murmurs, her eyes saddening when she realizes she hit her trainer instead. 

“Bay?”

Ash meets her gaze, his eyes filled with upset and anger now as well. “I don’t approve of what you’re doing”, he says harshly, and Bayleef takes a step back, but he comes closer to Ash, taking a look over Ash’s hurt forearm, and something in Bayleef snaps again as she aims another vine whip to stop Goh from being close to Ash.

“Bayleef, stop”, Ash says firmly, but she doesn’t listen, she rapidly aims vine whip after vine whip, hoping one of them will land. He’s not supposed to be close to Ash.

One vine whip eventually hits Goh as he scowls in pain, and Ash looks over at him, terrified. The next one gets stopped by Psychic. Bayleef looks over, surprised, and Ash shifts his gaze to see Espe standing protectively next to her trainer.  

“Thank you, Espe”, Ash whispers before he shifts his attention back to Goh. “Are you okay?”.

Goh nods his head. Thankfully, the pain is mild. He’s more concerned about what got into Bayleef and what caused her behavior.

Bayleef exclaims in anger again before she runs off to who-knows-where, upset and hurt. Goh touches his aching arm, and Ash sighs to himself. 

He knows what got into Bayleef.

🌸

Ash gently presses the ice pack over Goh’s aching arm, and Goh thanks him with a smile. Well, that was something, and Goh feels that whatever has happened was his fault, and Ash’s further silence proves him right.

“Ash?”, Goh finally breaks the silence. Gary looks up from his juice, Tokio looks in his direction as well, and Ash rests his back over the counter, dragging his hand over his hair tiredly.

“Well, let me tell you that…she was kind of always like that since she was a Chikorita. I mean like, really really attached to me. I don’t know how that’s possible, but I swear that I can see her eyes turning into hearts whenever she looks at me. She just…really really loves me. She even got jealous of Pikachu once”, Ash lets out a dry chuckle, and Goh just blinks, processing the new information.

Gary snorts from behind his juice. “Oh, wait, wait, wait, it’s sinking in”.

“Wait, hold on. You are telling me that I have a love rival in the form of the Pokemon who can crush me under her weight at any minute?”, Goh exclaims, and Ash sheepishly laughs.

“When you put it that way, kind of, yeah”, he says, and Goh sighs dramatically.

“You’re kidding me”, Goh blinks, and Ash shakes his head. “And she’s jealous of me?”, a nod this time, and Goh hides his head in his hands. “I don’t know what to think of it”.

“I wonder what caused this behavior, though, you were visiting Ash’s Pokemon lots of times together before and she never acted this way”, Professor Oak muses from afar, and Goh hums in thought too.

“Come to think of it, we never really kissed in front of her or showed any kind of affection when she was around”, Ash says as he finally sits down, taking a look at Goh’s hurt forearm.

“I think you’re right”, Goh quietly muses before he proposes. “Maybe I could talk to her to explain some things?”

“Maybe later when she’s more calmed down, I don’t wanna risk you getting hurt again”, Ash says firmly, and Goh can pick up the concern in his voice.

Gary smirks. “I think that’s a good idea. Goh’s knowledge about jealousy could be useful”, Gary says teasingly, and Goh frowns in confusion.

“Huh? What do you mean? I’m not jealo–”, the last word dies in his lips when Gary casually extends his hand in front of Ash, and Ash takes a cue instantly, grinning and clashing their hands together in a familiar, friendly hand shake. 

Gary squeezes the hold, and Goh almost slides off the chair, getting red in the face from embarrassment at being discovered. 

Gary chuckles as he lets go of Ash’s hand, and Ash raises his brow, but he shifts his gaze to Goh, and the realization hits him when he sees how embarrassed he is. “Wait, hold on, you were jealous of that?”

Goh groans, hiding his red flushed face into his hands, and Gary snorts.

“Oh, he sure was. He was ready to throw hands at me for being too close to you”, Gary says as he bites the straw, and Ash just chuckles as he places a soft kiss over Goh’s temple. “Man, you should’ve seen his face, he wanted to kill me, I’m not sure for what more though – participating in Project Mew, teasing him, or holding your hand”, Gary laughs, and Goh blushes even more. He wants to disappear from the chair he’s sitting on right now, or else he’s gonna die from embarrassment. 

“I’m gonna kill you now instead”, Goh murmurs quietly, and Gary just chuckles before he takes another sip of the juice.

“Oh, oh. Wait, that was even funnier”, Gary says, laughing and Goh shoots him a killing look. “When you introduced us, and we decided to find Infernape, he was so jealous of you paying more attention to me when we were talking instead”, Gary fidgets with the straw, and Goh groans again.

“That actually wasn’t nice of me to make him feel left out like that”, Ash quietly admits as he threads Goh’s hand with his own under the table. Gary is taken aback by the confession, but he voices out some agreement on his own before he throws the empty box into the bin.

Goh frowns in thought. “Maybe we should try to include Bayleef in our life now somehow? So she can be aware how your life has changed?”, Goh offers, and Ash hums.

“Like what? I’m not gonna share a bed with you and her at the same time–”.

Goh rolls his eyes. “That’s not it, Ash. I think she should get used to seeing me in your life. I think we should take her to Vermillion, meet my Pokemon, and spend some more time with us”.

“That actually could work”, Gary muses, scratching Umbreon under her chin. “See? Told you your knowledge about jealousy could be useful”, Gary teases, and Goh groans again.

Ash just chuckles at that, but kisses Goh’s forehead before he offers to be the one to try to talk things through with Bayleef first. He doesn’t even wait for Goh’s response before he runs off to the backyard, and Pikachu runs after him. Goh follows their silhouettes, uncertain about the whole thing. He sighs to himself as he pets Espe, who just rested her head on his lap. He meets Gary’s gaze across the table who just offers him a sympathetic smile, before he winks teasingly again.

“What?”, Goh groans, and Gary just shrugs.

“Nothing, nothing, I would never expect that you would have to battle over Ash’s heart with a Poke–”, Gary teases, before Tokio elbows him under the table.

Goh groans, blushing slightly as he drags his hand over his face tiredly. “I’m gonna kill you someday”.

“And I’ll help”, Tokio says, and Gary rolls his eyes, dropping the teasing as he intertwines his and Tokio’s hands, and offers Goh a reassuring smile.

Goh sighs to himself. What if Bayleef won’t be understanding and she will keep on hating Goh entirely? He can only hope Ash will be able to talk to Bayleef.

🌸

And sadly, Ash wasn’t able to talk to Bayleef as he wanted to. He tried at least, but she didn’t even listen to him. He got the crazy idea of explaining how Goh is important to him by showing the ring and saying that Goh may be his fiance soon if he will say yes. It backfired quickly afterwards.

So maybe that’s why Ash is on his knees right now – not in front of Goh like he would want to, but searching every part of the grass, because Bayleef threw the ring somewhere with her vine whip, running off. It could’ve gone better, couldn’t it? And the worst thing is, Ash can't find the ring anywhere. 

Pikachu sniffs every inch of the grass. Lucario helps look around as well, and Dragonite searches the whole place from the sky. It needs to be somewhere, right? But every passing second proves him wrong. 

Ash sits on his heels, pinching the bridge of his nose. He had different plans for this day. Looking for the lost ring because his Pokemon is jealous of his partner was definitely not on the list. Ash sighs to himself tiredly. He needs back-up, and he knows the perfect person for that.

Gary comes mere seconds later with Umbreon and Arcanine following him closely.

“Don’t ask about the excuse I had to come up with so Goh wouldn’t get suspicious”, Gary says, his voice being in between serious and teasing. 

Ash smiles at him. “I owe you a lot”.

Gary sighs, visibly tired as well with today’s events. “So where did you search?”.

“That’s the thing, we searched everywhere, and we can’t find it”, Ash says, defeated, and Gary frowns.

“Well, let’s search one more time. It needs to be somewhere", he mutters the last one word mostly to himself. Arcanine sniffs the Pokeball and starts the search too, Umbreon joining him, and looking around for any signs of the ring.

But it seems like the ring disappeared into thin air somehow, and Gary knows their time is limited before a concerned Goh and Tokio will start to look for them.

“This is all so stupid”, Ash says, sitting up, and dragging his hand through his hair tiredly. Gary looks over at him, with sorrow in his eyes. He knows how much this ring means to Ash. It was not only expensive, but the ring itself is precious. The promise that Ash wants to keep to Goh. The promise to spend the rest of their lives together. Forever written all over it.

“We’ll find it, Ashy”, Gary smiles symphatically, as he rests on his heels for a quick break. He looks around as he sighs. But they really searched every inch of the backyard, and Gary starts to think that the ring isn’t here anymore. 

Gary frowns at his own thoughts. “Ash?”.

“Yeah?”, Ash mumbles tiredly as he pets Pikachu. He shifts his gaze to look at Gary.

“What if she didn’t throw it?”, he asks, and Ash tilts his head in confusion. “I mean, what if she’s had it with her all this time? Maybe she’s trying to see how far you could really go to look for it?”, Gary thinks aloud at this point, and Ash gets deep in thought, too.

But it doesn’t make any sense, does it? Why would she pretend to get rid of the ring, only to keep it with her?

Gary, seeing Ash’s confusion, elaborates further. “I think that deep inside, she wants to understand how much Goh means to you, but maybe she’s also scared of somehow losing you? Scared that you will put Goh above her and the rest of the Pokemon you have? And of course, for us – humans, that’s a natural thing to do, to put your partner above anyone else. I know Goh will always be the most important to you, and you would protect him at all costs, but I know you would do it for any of your Pokemon, too. They’re important to you, as well, and I think you need to show it to Bayleef – that even if Goh is the apple of your eye, you still love her equally”.

There’s a moment of silence where Ash just blinks, processing Gary’s words, and Gary waits patiently for them to sink in. Ash eventually lets out a long oh, signaling that his words have, in fact, finally sunken in, and Gary chuckles.

“I think you’re right”, Ash eventually utters, and Gary smiles at him as Umbreon nudges his leg to let him know that they should probably go inside. He thanks her with a scratch behind her ear.

“You go find her, and I’ll go back to Goh and Tokio. That’s a surprise that Goh hasn’t come to look for you yet”, he chuckles, and Ash laughs as well.

“See? Your excuses always work wonders”, Ash says, with a bit of teasing in his voice, and Gary rolls his eyes.

“One day, I’ll stop making excuses so Goh won’t discover the ring, and it’s gonna be a punishment for not proposing sooner”, Gary says nonchalantly, and Ash gulps. Gary rolls his eyes again. 

He could keep it as a secret for another two years if only Ash asked him to. 

Gary chuckles, seeing Ash’s nervousness. “Obviously, I’m joking, Ashy”, he says, and Ash breathes out in relief. “Go find her and talk to her, and most importantly, get the ring back. What else will you propose with, huh?”, he winks, and Ash nods his head before he runs off to find Bayleef, with Pikachu and Lucario following him closely.

Maybe finding the ring isn’t the worst problem he has to face. The issue is how to get through to Bayleef so she’ll understand how important Goh is to Ash without things backfiring again. And the ring? Bayleef could’ve eaten it by now, and Ash would be upset. He feels so strongly about the ring, after all. He found the best ring for Goh that would match him perfectly, but deep down, maybe he wouldn’t be fazed. Maybe he even wouldn’t find himself caring at all about losing it, because he could propose to Goh with a paper ring instead, and Ash knows Goh would still love it, because they were both waiting for that moment to come for such a long time.

🌸

Ash finds Bayleef nearby, to his surprise. He gently approaches her, but she doesn’t even acknowledge him at all, instead, scoffing under her breath and darting her upset gaze away. He sits in front of her, but not too close so she won’t get more upset than she already is. He doesn’t want to scold her either, he just wants to understand her, and her to understand him. Pikachu and Lucario come close, too, in case they would have to interfere, but Ash shakes his head, showing them that he needs to do it alone, so they take a few steps back, but still sit nearby. Just in case. Ash smiles at them before he shifts his attention back to Bayleef.

“You know, I need it back, but you can keep it for now if it makes you feel better, I don’t mind”, Ash softly says, but Bayleef still doesn’t look at him.

But it doesn’t stop Ash from talking.

“I know it’s hard for you to understand, but Goh is…really important to me, I really love him, you know? He’s…the love of my life. That’s why I want to take the next step in our relationship soon. We've been together for almost two years, and these two years couldn’t be better thanks to him. He has helped me a lot. He helped me get better, and I couldn’t be more grateful for him, but it doesn’t mean that I stopped loving you. Goh is important to me, but you are important to me, too, the others as well. I’ve never stopped caring about you all, and I still love you a lot. It never changed”, Ash says, his voice trembling, and Bayleef eventually looked over at Ash during the speech, her eyes softening with each word. “You know, you and Goh have a lot in common. You both really love me, and I’m so happy to have you both in my life”, Ash says as meets Bayleef’s gaze more confidently now.

“Bay?”

“Yeah, and I– actually, we thought that maybe you could come with us? To the place Goh and I live now. He has lots of Pokemon that you could befriend, and maybe you could warm up to Goh a little more. I really want you to get along, you know?”, Ash says, smiling, and Bayleef looks at him, surprised.

“Bay bay?”

“Yeah, would you like that?”, Ash asks, his voice full of hope, and Bayleef looks uncertain at first, but Ash smiles at her again, extending his hand towards her, and she slowly stands up to come closer to him and leans into his palm.

“Bay bay!”, she eventually exclaims as she jumps onto Ash, and he laughs at that. He doesn’t push her away this time around. Instead, he pets her for a little longer.

“I take that as a yes”, he softly chuckles as she nuzzles into his cheek. 

Ash can’t stop laughing as Bayleef switches his cheeks and chest as the aim of the affection. It’s so sweet and tender, and Goh smiles at that as he comes closer.

“Ash?”, Bayleef gets startled at hearing the sudden voice, but Ash immediately smiles at hearing it. Familiar and his favorite. It’s filled with concern, Ash notices. 

Bayleef takes a step back at seeing Goh, but Ash smiles at her reassuringly before he shifts his attention over to his partner.

“Sorry, Gary told me that Bayleef ran off. I was worried you still hadn’t found her, so I thought I could eventually help you look for her, but I’m glad you did find her after all. So yeah, maybe I’ll just go back and leave you alone”, Goh says, his voice full of anxiety as he speaks. He hugs his arms to soothe himself as takes a step back and turns to leave.

Bayleef tilts her head. He came here knowing that she doesn’t appreciate his company. He came here even though she had hurt him earlier. He still came here to propose to look for her, even if she behaved so nasty towards him.

And maybe, maybe Bayleef, in the midst of everything that had happened today, finally sees why her trainer loves that boy so much. 

She looks over at Grookey, who climbs his shoulder, getting comfortable in the familiar place for him. The boy almost leaves, and her trainer doesn’t stop him from doing so, she will be the one to do that. She quickly extends her vine whip to envelop it around Goh’s waist, and pulls him closer.

Goh gets startled by that, and Grookey almost falls, but nothing matters more right now than Bayleef sniffing Goh at first – he smells like her trainer, a familiar scent for her –, and licking the hurt skin on his forearm as an apology.

Goh blinks a few times in confusion, but he lets out a soft chuckle at the affection. He lifts his trembling hand to pet her a few times as she leans into the touch comfortably. She eventually pushes Goh onto the ground as she jumps over him and nuzzles into his cheek.

Goh laughs at that – loud and candid. His laugh soft and delicate, ringing in Ash’s ears like the most beautiful song to ever exist. He doesn’t want it to stop, so he won’t interrupt it. He wouldn’t even dare. Goh will be laughing until his stomach hurts from that. That’s the pain he can bear, a nice contrast to the pain on his aching forearm he’d been feeling hours earlier.

Bayleef uses the distracted and laughing Goh to her advantage as she uses her other vine whip to give Ash the ring back from the leaf on her head, where she kept it hidden. He looks at it softly for a few seconds before he places it where it’s supposed to be and hides it back in his pocket. Then, he shifts his gaze back to Bayleef nuzzling Goh’s cheeks, and his eyes soften at the sweet sight.

“Welcome to my world”, he quietly whispers, and to whom he was referring will stay as the mystery.

Maybe to Bayleef, because she finally starts to understand why Ash loves Goh so much, and why he’s so important to him. She sees how adorable and loveable Goh really is.

Or maybe to Goh, who just discovered the affectionate way of Bayleef’s body crushing him and showing him the way she expresses love.

🌸

“I want to go to Alola in the next month”, Ash says suddenly when Delia is doing the dishes, and the plate almost falls down from her hold as she turns to face her son, eyes widened.

She’s seen this film before and she didn’t like the ending. She’s having some flashbacks right now, but Ash just smiles at her – soft and peaceful, not lost and broken like he was a few years ago. It has to mean that Ash doesn’t have the same motives in mind, right?

Eventually, his mom’s reaction clicks for Ash because he immediately defends himself.

“Oh, don’t worry mom, it’s not like that this time”, he sheepishly laughs, and Delia breathes out in relief, continuing to wipe the plates. “Just to train until the tournament”, Ash says, and she weakly smiles.

“It will be around four months, which means we won’t see each other for such a long time”, she sadly muses, and Ash smiles at her symphatically.

“I’ll make sure to call often”, Ash reassures, and Delia offers him a kind smile.

She believes so. Ash is…better now. She believes that it won’t be like the last time Ash left for Alola. He learned a lot from his mistake. He won’t cut the person he loves the most off this time around. He will be by his side instead, keeping him at ease. At least, she hopes so. She didn’t miss how Ash said I instead of we, and it makes her concerned.

“I’ll still miss you, though”, Delia says truthfully, focusing on wiping another plate, and Ash smiles weakly.

“I’ll miss you too”, Ash says, feeling a little bit emotional suddenly. 

It’s true. Ash always misses his mom whenever he’s away. He always missed her when he was on the road. But he always found his way back home, running down the familiar hill, straight into her arms. But it’s not missing his mom that concerns him the most right now.

“But that’s not you who I will be concerned about”, Ash quietly whispers, resting his back over the counter and Delia glances at him briefly. Uh-oh.

“What do you mean?”, she muses as she puts the plate down, shifting her attention to her son.

“Goh”, Ash says, with some sorrow behind his tone, and Delia’s breath hitches down her throat.

Oh.

“Um, he…he’s not planning to come with you?”, she asks worriedly, and Ash exhales a shaky breath.

“I don’t know yet. We talked only briefly about it, but he hasn’t made up his mind yet. The thing is, we haven’t left Vermillion for more than a few weeks, and I know how homesick he can get”, Ash explains, and Delia smiles at him sympathetically.

“Oh, I see”, she says under her breath, and Ash nods his head weakly. “You’re gonna miss each other lots then”, she smiles to herself, and Ash looks down to the floor, his nails scratching the counter’s surface.

He definitely will miss Goh a lot, even if Ash thought everything through and already made a list of the weeks when Goh could visit him. Goh doesn’t know it yet, but Ash is certain that they need to eventually have that talk, but he feels that Goh is just avoiding it for now. He doesn’t want to face the fact that Ash is leaving soon, and he’s stuck on what he truly wants to do.

“Ash, do you get homesick?”, Delia asks, and Ash frowns.

Of course, he does, he misses his mom, Pallet Town, and all of the Pokemon that live here, but he knows he will always find his way back home, and his mom will always wait for him in the doorway to welcome him home. He misses Alola whenever he leaves it. He misses Professor Burnet and Professor Kukui, and the longing lasts for days, but he knows he can come back there whenever he wants to, and needs to even. He misses Chloe and Dawn, who somehow are now a part that will be associated with Vermillion. He misses Gary’s annoying ass. He misses waking up early and feeding Goh’s Pokemon, but other than that…home is wherever Goh is, so Ash may be homesick sometimes, but he doesn’t feel it as strongly, because Goh is his home as well, and he is always by his side.

“I think for me…home is where Goh is, so no matter where I go to – if Goh is by my side, I can get through everything”, Ash smiles to himself, and Delia smiles as well. 

She’s not surprised to hear it. She expected that answer. She loves to see that side of Ash. The way he talks about Goh. Soft and shy, but sure of every word that leaves his mouth, and Delia knows why the ring is always inside of Ash’s pocket, but she can also hear how vulnerable Ash sounds. There’s some fear in his voice, fear that Goh doesn't feel the same way.

“I’m sure Goh sees you as his home, too”, Delia reassures, and Ash smiles.

He doesn’t doubt it. It’s the other way around. He knows Goh loves him, and there is always proof in every single one of his whispered words, in the tender touch, in every kiss and every hold of his hand. They’re each other's homes, a place to fall when they’re close to falling apart, and maybe soon, home will get a deeper meaning when there will be a ring adorning Goh’s finger with a future written around it. The future Ash wants to hold onto.

“I know, but…”, Ash sighs, and Delia looks over at him worriedly. “Part of me wishes Goh could come with me. I know that technically we still haven’t talked about it, and Goh hasn’t made up his mind yet, but I just kind of can sense his decision. I just feel that he won’t come with me”, Ash says, with some bitterness in his voice that Delia knows he doesn’t want to show. 

He doesn’t want to pressure Goh to come if he doesn't want to, especially for that long. If Goh would rather stay in Vermillion, that’s alright with him, even if deep inside, just the thought of separating from Goh for that long aches him. 

It’s such a contrast to when Ash ran away to hide in Alola. To hide from Goh and his feelings towards him. All Ash dreamt back then was to be far away from Goh, and right now, Ash loathes any kind of distance between them.

“Well, he can visit you from time to time, can’t he?”, she offers Ash a smile, and Ash nods his head.

“Yeah, I thought of it too. I think it can be nicely balanced out. I actually planned it out already and–”, there’s a knowing smile on Delia’s face, and Ash stops talking when she raises her brow at him teasingly. “What?”, he stutters, and she chuckles.

“You have planned it out already?”, she asks, and Ash blushes a little, his face covered in pink flush as he looks down, embarrassed.

Delia laughs again as she puts a hand over his shoulder. “That’s so thoughtful of you, you clearly love him. Even despite how you feel about the situation, you are ready to put aside your feelings to put Goh and his well being first”, she smiles at him, and Ash’s face gets redder at that. “Don’t be embarrassed, that’s such a positive trait, I raised you well, I couldn’t be prouder of you”, Delia admits truthfully, and Ash nods his head.

“I actually think that some distance may be good for us, I need some time to think about something. I’m also taking this trip because I–”, Delia’s heart skips a beat. She holds onto the plate tightly as Ash whispers the next sentence anxiously. “I think I’m ready”.

Delia closes her eyes for a second as she takes a deep breath. “About time, Ash. I’m so happy”, she says as a single tear falls from her eye to trace a path down her face.

Ash smiles at her. “Aww, mom. I haven’t even done it yet, and you’re already crying”, Ash says as he brings his mom in for a tight hug.

Ash can feel everything through the embrace. Some fear – that Ash wanted to go to Alola to distance himself again. Acceptance – that Ash is doing better, feeling better, and he doesn’t plan to make yet another mistake ruining his life. Relief and happiness – that Ash finally plans to pull out the ring at some point and get on one knee.

It’s been a long time coming for sure, but the future is finally looking brighter and clearer. 

🌸

“I’m kind of surprised you aren’t either a) – packing your bags already, or b) –  begging him not to go”, Gary says and Goh turns to face him.

“Well, for a) – I’m still so stuck on what to do, and for b) – I don’t wanna keep Ash here if he wants to go to Alola for some time, that would be selfish of me”, Goh says, and Gary nods his head.

“You'd rather stay here, wouldn’t you?”, Gary asks, and Goh tiredly sighs.

“It’s just…we haven’t truly traveled anywhere for more than a few weeks, I’m just gonna miss my Pokemon, my parents, and…Tokio and you”, Goh says the last word quieter, but Gary hears him just fine as he smiles at Goh.

“I honestly don’t blame you. You spent half of your life being tied to Vermillion. That’s only natural that you would feel homesick from leaving it for that long. I can tell you that Ash understands that, that’s why he gave you a choice”, Gary says, and Goh turns to lay on his back again.

“I know, and I appreciate the choice, and how thoughtful and understanding he is, but you just…didn’t hear his voice when he was saying it. He was so torn, his voice breaking. I could feel that deep down, he wants me to go with him, but I just…honestly, I feel so bad because…”, Goh sighs as he drags his hand through his hair tiredly. “I feel like, fuck, like I’m putting my Pokemon above him, and at this stage in the relationship, I feel like I should just follow Ash wherever he goes”, Goh says quietly, but to his surprise, Gary shakes his head, and Goh glances at him.

“You do have a point, but I don’t think it necessarily needs to be this way”, Gary points out, and Goh frowns in confusion. 

“What do you mean?”, Goh says, turning to lay on his stomach this time, wiggling his legs.

“It’s natural to go somewhere without your partner. Well, look at Tokio and me for example. He’s with Gramps right now, and I’m here giving you advice instead. He could come with me, yeah? But he didn’t want to, and that’s fine, isn’t it? Or if we’re talking about longer trips, then there were lots of times when I travelled to visit Gramps on my own, or when Tokio was visiting his parents and I didn’t want to go”, Gary says, and Goh processes Gary’s words.

"Don’t you miss him?”, Goh asks, and Gary frowns. “Tokio, I mean. When you travel somewhere separately for a long time”, Goh elaborates further, and Gary offers him a warm smile.

“‘Course I do. I always miss him when he’s away. I already said it to Ash, but it’s always our mutual decision. We’re never upset when the other doesn’t want to go somewhere. Ash understands how you feel. He won’t be upset if you’d rather stay in Vermillion instead”, Gary muses, and Goh smiles. “You don’t want to pressure Ash to stay here, and he doesn’t want to pressure you to come with him. That’s already a good middle ground. You’ll stay in Kanto, he’ll go to Alola, you’ll visit him from time to time – that’s how I see it”, Gary says, and Goh sighs.

It’s easier to picture it than to experience it. It’s gonna be four long months, and the frequent calls and messages, and even frequent visits won’t fill that hole and emptiness of not being next to your partner.

“Do you think that I should detach myself from Vermillion?”, Goh asks quietly, and Gary frowns in deep thought.

“I think you could work on that, that definitely would make some things easier for you both – like these kinds of longer trips. I know it’s not easy to do so, but it gets easier with time”, Gary says, and Goh fidgets with the blanket.

Goh knows that Gary talks from experience. Just like Ash, he left Pallet Town to go on his journey around Kanto when he was ten, so leaving his childhood home wasn’t as tough for him, but it was easy for Gary to come back. Eventually, Gary left for Sinnoh to help with research, leaving Pallet Town behind for some time, and Goh wonders if Gary has ever felt homesick. He knows the only part of the family Gary could come back to is his grandpa, and he knows that Gary’s road eventually led to Pallet Town again when he joined Project Mew. That’s where Goh had met Gary for the first time, and that’s where Ash reunited with him after a long time. Pallet Town. Gary always will be tied to his hometown, just like Ash is. Pallet Town will always be Gary’s home. But Gary and Tokio chose to buy the apartment in Vermillion to start their next stage of life here, not in Pallet, and yes, Gary explained it – they wanted to be close to Goh and Ash, but wouldn’t Gary want to be close to his grandpa and his hometown as well? Wouldn’t Tokio want to be close to his parents in Johto?

“That doesn’t make a fucking sense”, Goh breathes out, and Gary frowns before he realizes that Goh is having a hard train of thought, and he laughs loudly.

“What doesn’t make sense?”, he asks, still laughing, and Goh sighs tiredly.

“You don’t tend to get homesick”, Goh points out and Gary just offers him a smile.

“You know, at some point in life, you can start to have various definitions of home, not only your hometown”, Gary says, and Goh raises his brow, confused.

“Various definitions of home?”, Goh echoes, and Gary hums.

“Ask Ash about it, he can explain it further to you. He visited more places than I did, he stayed away from Pallet Town more than I did, and he was the one who…chose Alola as his one-year hideout. You would think he would’ve chosen Pallet Town, don’t you think so? But somehow, he chose Alola. He left Delia, his Pokemon, and us, you specifically just to run to Alola and hide”, Gary says, looking over at the ceiling, and Goh winces slightly at his words. 

It doesn’t hurt him as much anymore. He’s healing and he tries to leave the past dug deep down somewhere, but sometimes, just the thought of it retriggers something in him, and that’s okay. That’s part of healing too – having harder moments when facing the past.   

“It must've been hard for him to run away from his home, don’t you think so?”, Goh hears Gary mutter, and he hums absentmindedly

He’s too caught up in his thoughts to catch the implication that Gary just uttered.

🌸

Goh just stares at the ceiling as he can’t fall asleep. Ash easily had fallen asleep hours ago – he surprisingly doesn’t snore, which should make things easier for Goh to close his eyes and drift off. But even if Goh is tired, he just can’t fall asleep as his mind repeats the same thoughts all over again. 

His earlier talk with Gary helped to wash some of the worries away, but later, when Goh met Ash’s gaze, he couldn’t stop thinking that all he saw in Ash’s eyes was upset. Upset that Goh is second-guessing if he’d rather stay or go with him to Alola. Goh can’t stop feeling furious about his own decision he’s about to make. He didn’t tell Ash about it yet, and he’s afraid it’s gonna strain their relationship somehow. Deep inside, he knows his anxiety lies to him, trying to tell him things that Ash doesn’t feel at all, but somehow, Goh can’t stop overthinking it if the possibility of it being true is high. 

Goh sighs to himself as he, as carefully as he can, entangles himself from the bed covers, avoiding hitting sprawled Ash, and goes quietly to look at the stars through the window. They don’t have the answers for the endless loop of questions in his head, but he knows who has. 

Ash. 

But…Goh is scared to confront Ash about it. He knows the days are passing quickly, quicker than Goh has expected. It’s not long until Ash leaves, and the talk about it hangs above them heavily, and meanwhile, Goh can’t find the courage to initiate the conversation.

What if Goh stays here, and Ash finds someone else in Alola? Someone else worth fighting for? Maybe Ash plans to cut him off again? Or maybe even worse – replacing him with someone who can love him better?

Goh groans to himself, but he bites his lips when he realizes it’s been too loud. He glances briefly towards the bed. Thankfully, Ash hasn’t woken up, but someone else did. 

Pikachu peeks through one of his eyes, and he opens them completely when he sees that Goh is not in the bed. He tilts his head, muttering a quiet Pi Pika?, before he jumps from the bed to climb on Goh’s shoulder immediately, offering much needed comfort.

“Sorry that I woke you up, I didn’t mean to”, Goh quietly whispers as he scratches Pikachu under the chin. The Pokemon mumbles quietly at the affection as he shifts his gaze to the stars as well. “I have a lot on my mind, you know?”.

“Cha?”, Pikachu nuzzles into Goh’s cheek, and Goh chuckles at that. 

“I really wish I wouldn’t tend to get homesick so I could go to Alola with you all for these four months”, Goh whispers as he feels tears already threatening to fall, and Pikachu’s ears drop sadly.

“Pikachu Pika”, he sadly mutters, and Goh chuckles again as he pets Pikachu a few times.

“Do you think Ash is gonna be upset when I tell him that I can’t go? Do you think maybe he…will find someone else there and replace me?”, Goh asks, shifting his gaze back to the stars. It feels like the questions were aimed at them, whispered in the quiet of the night. They still don’t offer much needed answers.

Someone else does. 

Pikachu.

“Pika Pikachu Pi”, Pikachu shakes his head, and Goh blinks at him, before he settles on looking straight into his eyes. Big, black, shining so bright, and somehow, they are having the same effect on Goh now that Ash’s eyes always do – calming him and washing his worries away.

Pikachu paws at Goh’s left hand a few times, evidently trying to say something, a hidden message behind his gesture that Goh can’t quite pick up. 

He eventually laughs, petting Pikachu again. “You’re as insufferable as him sometimes, you know that?”, Goh whispers, and Pikachu tilts his head. “You’re just like him”, Goh says as he holds onto the window sill, looking back at the stars.

“Chu Pika Pikachu”, there’s some teasing in Pikachu’s voice, and Goh rolls his eyes.

“You do know that I don’t always understand you the way Ash does, right?”, Goh asks, biting a laugh, but before Pikachu can say anything else, Goh feels familiar hands being placed over his shoulders.

He immediately leans into Ash’s embrace, as Ash softly kisses him atop of his head.

“He said you’re overthinking too much”, Ash quietly muses, and Goh hums.

Even Pikachu has the courage to call him out, great.

“What’s bothering you?”, Ash asks, although he does know the answer. He hopes for the talk. It wouldn’t be the first time they would have a heartfelt talk in the middle of the night about what’s going on in the other’s head, what’s bothering them, what keeps them up all night.

But Ash’s hope dies when Goh shakes his head, and Ash squeezes his shoulders to offer some needed comfort, even if the offer for the talk is denied. It’s okay, they still have time to figure it out. 

But the time is ticking, it’s running out with each passing second, and they need to talk about it soon, whether Goh wants to or not, but for now Ash can at least try to push Goh back to bed and sleep.

“Then how about we go back to bed?”, Ash quietly offers, and Goh skeptically tilts his head.

“I won’t be able to fall asleep”, Goh muses, but Pikachu immediately backs up Ash’s idea, because he runs off first and cuddles next to Grookey and Espe right away.

2:0.

Goh groans at losing this game, but lets himself be led by Ash’s hand back to bed anyway. 

He still struggles through the night, even if he lays on Ash’s chest and listens to his steady heartbeat. Ash feels Goh’s unstable aura. He knows that the unspoken thoughts bother him a lot, so he presses a soft kiss atop of his head. It takes Goh off guard because he thought that Ash had fallen asleep already. But if Ash is still awake, he can use it to his advantage, can’t he?

“Ash?”, Goh quietly whispers, and Ash sleepily hums. “Are you upset? That we still haven’t talked, I mean”.

Ash opens his eyes, and Goh looks up at him, waiting for the answer. He glances from the ceiling, then to Goh, then back to the ceiling. “No, I’m not”, Ash eventually says after a moment of silence as he squeezes Goh’s waist for good measure.

Goh raises his brow. “You didn’t sound so sure”, he points out, chewing on the inside of his cheek, and Ash sighs.

“It’s just…”, Ash hesitates. “It’s getting closer and closer, and we eventually do need to have that talk”, Ash says, and Goh tightens his hand on Ash’s shirt.

He knows. He just…

Goh opens up his lips but nothing leaves it except for a tired exhale.

“Whatever’s on your mind, it’s not true, remember that”, Ash whispers, not being bothered by the lack of response, and Goh melts further into Ash’s comforting embrace.

He knows that too, but they can have that talk on another day. Another morning perhaps, or another night. Right now, he can let the tiredness overcome them both and let them have much needed rest.

🌸

“Long time no see, Ash”, Misty says as Ash runs to high five her. Goh smiles at her from afar, and Misty waves at him, but before she can utter any welcome to Goh as well, Psyduck runs to him to demand some attention. Grookey jumps from Goh’s shoulder to greet Psyduck too, and Goh is gonna be occupied for the next 10 minutes at least.

Misty laughs at that, but turns his attention back to Ash. “So what are you doing here?”.

“We were nearby, so we tried our luck to see if you were here to drop by and pay a visit”, Ash sheepishly laughs, and Misty offers him a smile.

“You are lucky indeed, I’m closing the Gym next week because I’ll be taking a break”, Misty says, and Ash raises his brow. 

Misty rolls her eyes. “You do know I have a girlfriend in Alola”, she explains, and Ash smiles at her.

“How long will you be staying there?, Ash asks as Pikachu jumps off his shoulder, visibly bored with the conversation, and runs off to Goh, who is sharing some snacks with Grookey and Psyduck.

“For as long as I can, I’m missing Lana so much”, Misty sadly muses, and Ash looks over at her worriedly, but she brushes his worries off quickly. “If the demand for the badges will be too high, I’ll let my sisters open the Gym instead”, she says, and Ash chuckles.

“Well, we know how it will end”, Ash muses, and Misty laughs as well.

“Yeah, but at this point, I’d rather my sisters give the badges for free than have to come here urgently and leave Lana alone. We were both looking forward to finally seeing each other”, Misty smiles to herself. Ash glances briefly at Goh, who pets Pikachu now, and Ash smiles at that.

“I can imagine”, Ash eventually muses as he’s still looking over at Goh, smiling softly.

Misty observes that for a moment before she quietly asks. “Something wrong?”.

Ash shakes his head, turning his attention to her instead. “No, not at all. I think we’ll see each other again soon then”, he says, smiling, but his eyes look rather sad, Misty notices, but she doesn’t comment on that, knowing that Ash always comes around and voices out if something bothers him.

She’s not wrong this time either. Ash speaks up again mere seconds later.

“I’m going to Alola soon, too”, he says, trying to keep his voice even so it won’t break.

Misty smiles at that. “Such great timing, I’m glad we’ll see each other soon again, then”, she cheerfully says, and Ash nods his head.

They don’t speak for a moment, letting the silence fill the room. The only thing that they can pick up is the Grookey and Pikachu’s fighting over the last bit of snacks that Goh tries to keep away from them. Psyduck is clinging to Goh’s leg instead, not being bothered over the snacks anymore.

“You’re not gonna hit me with oh, Goh is not going with you?, and stuff?”, Ash asks, his voice a whisper so Goh won’t hear the conversation.

Misty frowns, being taken aback by the question. “Should I? I mean, I know how close you both are, and I’m sorry to hear that he’s not going with you–”.

Ash laughs. “It’s okay, I’m sorry. It’s just…you’re the first person who didn’t freak out over it. My mom was having some tragic flashbacks”, he says, glancing over at her briefly, and Misty connects the dots.

“I mean, I don’t blame her for freaking out when she knew what state you were in during that time”, Misty truthfully says, and Ash looks over his own lap, fidgeting with his shirt. “But maybe I’m just used to seeing you alone more than together? So for me, it’s kind of natural to see you alone”, Misty tilts her head, thinking through her own words, and Ash raises his brow.

“What do you mean?”.

“I just mean, that I didn’t quite see how close you both were before. I met you after you both went separate ways already, same with Goh, so I quite don’t know how your dynamic looked before that, so I understand how shocking it may be for someone who saw you together for such a long time. Especially your mom, who was seeing you literally go from strangers to friends to strangers again to lovers. She’s just shocked that you don’t want to go together”, Misty muses, and Ash bites his lips. “Something’s telling me, it’s rather Goh who doesn’t want to join you, am I right?”, Misty whispers, looking over at Goh, who pets Psyduck now, and Ash nods his head.

“He tends to get homesick”, Ash says, and Misty smiles sympathetically.

“I see”, Misty muses, and Ash looks over at Goh, who is now laughing as Pikachu and Grookey jump at him to get some hugs.

Misty and Ash both chuckle at that before they focus on the conversation again. “I don’t get homesick much, but all I know for sure is that I miss Lana a lot when we’re apart. I think Goh may be conflicted because he’s gonna miss his hometown if he goes with you, and you if you’ll go away. All you can do is show him the support he needs with whichever decision he’ll make”, Misty says, and Ash nods his head.

“He avoids talking about it for now, but I won’t be upset if he decides to stay. Well, I’ll be sad because we’re together all the time now, and it’s gonna be hard to say goodbye, but I won’t be upset”, Ash says, his voice trembling a little from all the emotions he’s feeling, and Misty squeezes his hand reassuringly.

“Then all you can do is just reassure him of that whenever he feels ready to talk, and reassure him that whatever has happened between you a few years ago is not happening again. It may be one of his main concerns as well”, Misty advises, and just when Ash wants to utter some gratitude for the advice, a weak and faint voice reaches their ears.

“Can you both help me? They’re crushing me”, Goh breathes out, and Ash laughs, but instead of going to his rescue, he joins them.

Goh yelps at feeling the sudden and extra weight, but laughs when Ash showers him with kisses all over his face.

Misty smiles at the scene. Maybe now she gets some people’s concerns, but deep down, she knows that nothing really can come between those two.

🌸

“See you soon, then?”, Ash says as he and Goh are ready to travel back to Vermillion.

“Sure thing”, Misty winks to Ash, and then turns her attention to Goh. “I sent you something, read it when you’ll have a chance”, she says cheerfully, and Goh looks at Ash in confusion, but the boy just shrugs, not knowing what is going on either. Although Ash has his suspicions, he doesn’t voice them out.

“Um, thank you”, Goh says, unsure of what he should say as he gathers Grookey back on his forearm, and Pikachu jumps to Ash’s shoulder as well. 

“Don’t mention it, I hope it’s gonna help to ease your doubts a little”, Misty winks as she pets Psyduck, and Goh smiles at her gratefully. Maybe he starts to understand what the message may be about. “And I hope to see you both in Alola at some point”, she says, and both Ash and Goh nod their heads.

They both hope for it, too. They still need to have that talk first, and Ash hopes the message that Misty sent to Goh could help to brace him for the talk and make the decision. The days are quickly passing, it’s getting closer and closer to the day that Ash plans to leave for Alola. Goh feels the time passing too, and the sooner he’ll voice out his decision, the quicker they can plan out the rest of the days they still can spend together. 

But the doubts still fill his mind, telling him that Ash will be upset with his decision, even if deep inside, Goh is certain that it’s only in his head, and Ash wouldn’t ever be upset about Goh prioritizing his well-being.

Goh feels his hand shake, so he curls it into a fist to prevent it from further trembling, but it’s for nothing. He looks down to the ground as he bites his quivering lips so he won’t start crying. Grookey paws at his forearm, noticing the sudden shift in Goh’s demeanour. Misty notices that too. Her eyes soften, but she doesn’t voice out anything. She shouldn’t be the one to comfort Goh right now. And Ash takes the cue, but just as he turns to face Goh to ask if he’s doing alright, his phone rings with a new message.

Ash quickly fishes his phone out of his pocket, and Pikachu glances at it curiously, but his expression gets happier at seeing the familiar name. Ash frowns at the message, and Goh wipes the unshed tears from his eyes to look at his partner. 

“Something wrong?”, he asks, trying to steady his voice as he’s not aware that Ash noticed his anxiety. 

But they can talk about it later, if Goh will want to. Right now, Ash can focus on the message instead. He shakes his head at Goh's question. “No, not all”, he says, still staring at the screen, but eventually, he shows the message to Goh.

Hey Ash, I have something cool for you. Come and visit me soon. We can battle too ;)

Goh smiles softly at the message as he threads his and Ash’s hands together.

It seems they’re going to Unova soon.

🌸

Dark side, I search for your dark side

But what if I'm alright, right, right, right here?

Chapter Text

All I know is this could either break my heart or bring it back to life

Got a feelin' your electric touch could fill this ghost town up with life

And I want you now, wanna need you forever

In the heat of your electric touch

🌸

“It’s a Mega Stone”, Ash raises his brow in confusion, and Iris just nods her head.

“For your Dragonite”, she says, and Ash blinks a few times to process whatever Iris has just said.

“Wait, hold on, so Dragonite can Mega Evolve?!”, Ash exclaims, and Cilan laughs.

“The world of Pokemon keeps surprising us everyday”, Cilan muses, and Ash nods his head. He can agree with that.

“Come on, try it”, Iris insists, her eyes shining, but Ash looks over at the door of the Opelucid Gym with some sadness and anticipation in his eyes. Goh hasn’t come back yet. He was supposed to catch only a few Pokemon, but it turns out to be longer with each passing second.

Iris looks at him worriedly, but Ash shakes his head. “Let’s wait for Goh, he should be back soon”.

Cilan offers him a warm smile. “Where is he by the way?”.

“He ran off after some wild Pokemon he hasn’t caught yet”, Ash chuckles, even though the fact that Goh hasn’t come back yet makes him worried.

“That’s so him, isn’t it? So why are you acting like a little kid getting worried? I swear, you look so paranoid right now”, Iris laughs softly. There’s some familiar teasing in Iris’ tone, but also concern. Concern at Ash’s shifting mood.

Ash sighs. “Yeah I know. If something would happen, he would call me”, Ash says as he looks over at Pikachu sleeping on his lap. The familiar weight offers him much needed comfort now.

“Then what’s wrong? You two didn’t argue, didn’t you?”, Iris asks, and Ash shakes his head. No, they didn’t argue, although the tension hanging above them feels like the aftermath of arguing. And Ash doesn’t like it.

“No, we didn’t. Although, we have been walking on egg shells around each other lately”, Ash says, some tiredness filling his voice, and Cilan tilts his head.

“So did something happen between you two, or…?”, Cilan asks, uncertain if he or Iris should even prod into the matter, but Ash seems open for a conversation, petting Pikachu with slow movements.

Neither he nor Iris are experts in relationship matters, but they can still offer some advice if Ash would need it, and Ash certainly needs it, because he continues the conversation.

“It’s just…I’m planning to go to Alola soon”, Ash eventually offers, his voice shaking slightly, and Iris and Cilan exchange a worried look. “Just to train and stuff, until the Alola Tournament”, Ash keeps saying, and Iris smiles at him sympathetically.

“Well, that’s a good thing, isn’t it? You should focus on training before the Tournament so you can get even stronger”, Iris says, and Ash nods his head.

“Yeah, I think so too, but…”, Ash says, and Iris frowns at the uncertainty in Ash's voice. She’s not used to seeing Ash doubt himself like that. “I just don’t think that Goh will join me”, he says, his voice trembling again as his hand curls into fist on Pikachu’s fur, and the Pokemon wakes up from his nap, startled.

“Oh”, is all Iris can offer. Now she knows why Ash would be worried over this whole situation. 

Iris doesn’t have her second half. She doesn’t love anyone on that deep level, so she doesn’t know how missing someone on the other side of the world would feel. 

But Ash…Ash has been in this situation before – sadly willingly, because he had made the decision all by himself – so he knows how that feels.

“We didn’t talk about it in detail yet, but Goh just tends to get homesick if he travels somewhere for a very long time, so yeah, I don’t think he will give me a positive response”, Ash whispers, and Iris puts a hand over his shoulder comfortingly. 

“Hey, but it’s not the end of the world, is it? This time, it’s gonna be different, yeah? You’re not running away this time, you just go there to train and gain the needed spark for the Tournament with your Pokemon. I’m sure Goh understands, and even if he doesn’t want to come with you, he still deeply supports you”, Iris smiles, and Ash blinks at her a few times before he laughs.

“For a little kid, you do know how to say something so wisely sometimes”, Ash winks, and Iris scoffs under her breath, turning her head, embarrassed.

“I’m not a little kid”, she mutters, and Ash laughs.

“Iris has a good point, but…”, Cilan interrupts, and Ash turns his attention to him, tilting his head to the side. “You said that you haven’t talked about it in detail yet, and that concerns me a little bit”, Cilan admits, and Ash frowns.

“Why? He’s not ready to have that talk yet”, Ash says, and Cilan sighs.

“Exactly. I think Goh just wants to stretch the time and live in delusion that the further the day you leave is, the more prepared he is for it, which I assume may not be the case. I know you don’t want to pressure him to have that talk, but sadly, Ash, I think you need to do it. It’s something that affects your relationship heavily now, and that’s why you feel like you’re walking on egg shells, because the talk hangs above you”, Cilan says, and Ash thinks his words through.

In all honesty, that was Ash’s suspicion too, but he didn’t dare to face it and admit it to himself. Finally, he hears it from someone else’s mouth, confirming the suspicion. Someone had the courage to say it aloud, when Ash was bottling it in himself.

If only Ash had the courage to confront Goh about it.

“You may be right, Cilan”, Ash whispers, petting Pikachu again, and Cilan smiles at him warmly.

“Just talk to him, Ash, you both are gonna feel better after having that talk”, Cilan says, and Ash sighs to himself.

If only it would be as easy to do it as is to talk about it.

🌸

And Goh knows he’s running away from that talk. He knows he’s scared to face the fact that Ash will leave soon. He knows that avoiding this conversation affects his and Ash’s relationship. There’s no denying that there’s some tension between them, even more tension than any of their arguments has ever brought. Goh is scared. Scared about what the conversation will bring. He’s scared to voice out his doubts, even if deep inside, he knows that Ash will be nothing but understanding.  

Goh sighs to himself. He didn’t even read Misty’s message yet, even if he had time for that during the flight to Unova. Ash was asleep for most of the flight, and even if Goh’s fingers traced the outline of his phone in his pocket, he never reached for it. So that’s why he fishes the phone out of his pocket now and just stares at it. Stares at it like it would give him the needed answers for the endless questions and doubts in his head. He glances at Grookey chirping something on his shoulder before he pets him a few times to calm himself down. Grookey leans into Goh’s hand comfortably but eventually jumps off from his shoulder to run and have some fun with wild Pokemon, giving Goh some needed space.

Goh chuckles to himself before he takes a deep breath, and he finally opens Misty’s message.

Hi Goh,

Ash told me that he’s leaving for Alola soon, and I can only imagine how scary it must feel for you. He also told me that you may not join him because of how homesick you tend to feel. There’s nothing wrong with feeling the way you do. I just wanna tell you that Ash understands how you feel. He’s not judging you, he will support you in whatever decision you’ll make. I know it feels scary because you relive all the scars in your heart from that time when you were apart all the time. Ash wants to talk about it with you and reassure you, so…hurry up and talk to him about it. It’s gonna feel less heavy after you have that talk. Don’t worry about a thing, Ash really understands you more than you think.

Goh closes his eyes for a moment. Ash understands how he feels, huh? Deep down, he knows it. Ash always understands him, and even if he doesn’t, he always tries to meet Goh halfway, talk to him about it and genuinely understand where Goh’s doubts are coming from. 

And Goh…was running away these past few days. Running away from talking to Ash about his doubts and fears. He was avoiding talking to Ash because he thought that not facing the fact that Ash will leave soon will make him feel better, that it will freeze the time, or maybe Ash would change his mind. 

But none of it happened. The time is running away faster than Goh could admit, Ash didn’t change his mind, and Goh is not feeling better, he feels worse. He feels more anxious and more scared, and he knows that there is only one thing that can help with it – talking to Ash about his fears and doubts. Talking about everything on his mind, even if it feels scary. 

Don’t worry about a thing, Ash really understands you more than you think. 

And Goh hopes it’s true.

“Grookey!”, Goh opens his eyes, and he’s met with Grookey’s terrified gaze, and pointing with his paw at one of the wild Pokemon. 

Goh gasps as he sees a Snivy struggling to get up because she hurt her leg. Snivy is visibly in pain, and Grookey mumbles sadly as he gently taps her leg with his stick, but it’s not working. Goh chuckles, but he puts Grookey on his arm, and he carefully scoops Snivy into his arms. 

“Don’t you worry, I know someone who can help. They’ll help you feel better”, he softly says, as he makes his way to the Opelucid Gym. 

🌸

“She’s gonna be fine”, Cilan says as he ties a small bow from the bandage on Snivy’s leg.

Snivy chirps happily, and Goh pets her a few times. “See? Everything’s gonna be just fine”, he says, and Grookey exclaims happily as well. Goh chuckles as he takes Grookey from his shoulder and lets him be in Snivy’s company.

“Are you planning to take her to the place you found her?”, Cilan asks, and Goh considers.

“I guess so”, he says, but Grookey nudges his arm a few times with his stick, and Goh shifts his attention to Grookey and Snivy, who shakes her head. “Oh, you want me to catch you?”, he makes sure, and Snivy nods her head.

“Aww, isn’t it wonderful?”, Iris muses as Goh pets Snivy a few times as a thank you.

“Sure is, you both are gonna be a good match”, Ash comments, and Goh raises his brow. “Don’t you see? She has the same expression on her face as you do when I’m annoying you, or the one when we bicker and you argue that you’re right”.

Iris and Cilan chuckle, but Goh rolls his eyes. Although, he glances quickly at Snivy, and now he can’t unsee it.

“By the way, Goh, how is Dragonair doing?”, Iris asks, and Goh smiles.

“She’s doing great. I would take her with me, but I didn’t know we would end up in Unova”, Goh sheepishly laughs, and Iris waves her hand.

“Don’t you worry, my fault for the sudden message, but I just had to give that Mega Stone to Ash–”.

Goh gasps. “You got a Mega Stone?!

“Uh-huh, sure did, for Dragonite”, Ash chuckles, and Goh’s eyes turn into sparkling stars.

“Can you Mega Evolve her, please? I want to see it”, Goh pleads, and Ash can never say no to Goh, especially when he's that excited.

“Well, we can battle, right, Iris?”, Ash winks, and Iris nods her head, already releasing her Dragonite to the battlefield.

Ash releases his Dragonite as well, and Goh and Cilan sit nearby to watch the anticipated battle. No one knows who made the first move, but the way they clash evenly proves that both Pokemon got stronger. 

Goh pets Snivy with slow movements as he watches the battle absentmindedly. His eyes are on the battlefield, but his mind is somewhere in Alola. Grookey must have felt his trainer’s anxiety, because he paws at his knee worriedly. 

“Something on your mind?”, Cilan glances at Goh, taking him out of his thoughts, and Goh admits it by nodding. “Is it about Ash leaving soon? He mentioned something briefly about it”.

Another nod. Goh feels so tired of constantly thinking about it. 

“So…you’re not going with him? Is that what you made up your mind about?”, Cilan asks, uncertain of the question, but Goh nods his head weakly.

“I…I want to go with him, but at the same time…”, Goh utters, his voice shaking with each word. Eventually, he fists his hand on Snivy’s skin and she looks up at him worriedly. “I get homesick, and I just…the possibility of me leaving Vermillion for more than a few weeks feels so scary to me. I never admitted it before, but when I was on my own journey…I didn’t only come back to Vermillion because I was missing Ash, I was also missing my own Pokemon”, Goh quietly admits, and Cilan smiles at him sympathetically.

“That’s understandable”, Cilan says, and Goh briefly looks over at the battlefield, but he turns his attention back to Cilan when he speaks again. “But don’t you think it’s about time you talk about it with Ash? Time is passing so quickly, and before you notice, he’s gonna be leaving soon”, Cilan says, and Goh chews on his lip.

“Yeah, I know”, Goh exhales a shaky breath, and Grookey jumps on his shoulder to offer more comfort. “I thought if I would avoid talking about it, the time could freeze, and maybe facing the fact that Ash is leaving would get easier but…”, a tired exhale. “It did the opposite”.

Cilan offers him a warm smile. “There’s nothing to be scared of, I can reassure you that Ash is really understanding, so I think you two–”, Cilan pauses the conversation for a moment, pointing to the battlefield where Ash is getting ready to Mega Evolve his Dragonite.

Goh raises from his seat, taking a deep breath, feeling anxious if Ash can succeed. Deep inside, he knows he can. Ash will win.

“Okay, Dragonite. Spread your wings even further. Mega Evolve”, Ash yells, and Dragonite growls, being enveloped in a familiar light. 

Goh’s eyes sparkle, Cilan is speechless, and Iris squeals in excitement. Ash grins as he’s even more fired up now to continue the battle. There’s only a matter of calling out the last move to finish it. Iris calls Dragon Rush, and Ash calls Hyper Beam. 

The whole battlefield is covered in smoke, and Goh anxiously holds the necklace on his chest in his hand. But Ash won. He knows it, and the slowly clearing smoke proves him right. Goh smiles to himself when Iris’ Dragonite lays defeated, and Ash’s one is still standing. 

Ash runs to her quickly, and she envelops him with her Mega Evolved form’s wings. Pikachu jumps from Cilan’s shoulder to join them, and Goh chuckles at that as he quickly snaps a photo of the scene, looking at it fondly.

“I think you two should finally have that talk. It affects you both right now, and you’re gonna feel better after it’s done”, Cilan says after a moment, continuing the conversation from earlier before he stands up to see Mega Dragonite up close, leaving Goh with his own thoughts.

Goh exhales a shaky breath. He knows Cilan is right. Goh knows he needs to do it, and he will. But the talk can wait until they’re back in Vermillion, yeah?

🌸

They’re on the plane back to Vermillion. The air is less tense, but they’re far away from working things out. At least until they’re off the plane. Part of Goh wishes that they could be on the plane for the longest time possible, but the second part knows that the quicker they have the talk, the easier it will be for them to survive the rest of the days, counting the seconds until the day Ash leaves.

Goh sighs to himself. He tried to work on the footage of Ash’s Dragonite in her Mega Evolved form that he was able to record, but his mind is far away from focusing on it. Goh glances briefly at Ash, and for a second, he considers waking him up, because his thoughts are unbearable to handle, but Ash looks so peaceful right now that Goh would feel guilty taking the needed rest from him. 

Goh wishes he could release Grookey from his Pokeball so he could calm himself down and ease his anxiety, and for a second, Goh considers asking the flight attendant if he could do so, but Pikachu peeks through one of his eyes, sensing Goh’s anxious behavior, and he tilts his head, not being sure if he should interfere or not.

He decides to do so when Goh starts to fidget with his necklace, taking some deep breaths, and it doesn’t seem to be helping, so he climbs over Goh’s left shoulder.

“Thank you”, Goh whispers, petting Pikachu with slow moves. “I’ll talk to him once we’re back in Vermillion", he says. He doesn't say it to reassure Pikachu, but to convince himself instead.

It does help a little. Hearing his own words. Pikachu’s weight on his shoulder. The necklace in his grip. And the sudden weight of Ash’s head that just fell to his right shoulder, like Ash would feel in his sleep that Goh is troubled. 

Goh smiles to himself. He closes the laptop on his lap, and Pikachu lays there instead to continue his nap. Goh can work on the research later, once they’re back in Vermillion. Once he and Ash have that talk, then he can focus on the research.

For now, he brushes the messy hair falling on Ash’s forehead to place a soft kiss there. And just at once, one of Goh’s hands is found and threaded with Ash’s own.

Goh places his head atop of Ash’s. They’ll be just fine.

🌸

“We need to talk”, they both say at the same time, and before they realize, they both burst out laughing. 

But after that, the room falls dead silent, because neither of them know who should speak first. The only sound that Ash can hear is Goh’s ragged and full of anxiety breathing, so he carefully puts his hands atop of Goh’s shoulder to calm him down.

“You first”, Ash says, and Goh meets his gaze. Ash’s eyes are shining like the sun high in the sky and open for the conversation they both need. 

But Goh shakes his head. “No, you first”, he quietly utters, the necklace hitting his chest with each breath he’s taking. He needs to hear whatever Ash wants to say first. Nothing else matters more right now.

Ash lets go of Goh’s shoulders as he takes a deep breath. “Okay”, he breathes out as he intertwines their hands together, and Goh squeezes the hold immediately.

Ash feels how Goh’s hand is shaking from the anxiety, so the sooner they’ll get that talk over with, the better. Ash takes another deep breath. 

“I know you’re not going with me”, Ash says, his voice as tender as the breeze outside, and Goh darts his gaze away, biting his lips, but Ash quickly puts his hand over Goh’s cheek and forces eye contact again. 

Goh leans into the touch comfortably, his eyes filled with sadness and regret, but Ash’s eyes are full of support and understanding, and the contrast to his own feelings gives Goh a whiplash.

“I’m sorry, I know you’re upset”, Ash hears Goh mutter, but he shakes his head. 

“First – you don’t need to apologize, and second – I’m not upset”, Ash whispers, tracing a soft circle on Goh’s cheek with his thumb, and Goh tilts his head.

“You–you’re not upset?”, Goh asks, and Ash swears that he can see some unshed tears in Goh’s eyes, so Ash leans forward to place a soft kiss on his forehead.

“Well, sad – yes, but upset? No, I’m not”, Ash softly chuckles and Goh’s lips curl into a small smile. “I know how homesick can you get, and I do prioritize your well-being as well, that’s why even if you won’t be coming with me, I came up with a list of the weeks you could visit me. Ah, it’s messy so far, but I’m sure if we’ll both sit and work on it, we’ll figure it out–”, Ash keeps saying, and Goh blinks a few times at Ash, who raises his brow. “What?”.

“You…you want me to come to see you?”, Goh quietly asks, and Ash frowns. “So you’re not gonna…find someone else and–and replace me?”, he keeps saying, and Ash’s eyes soften with each word. Now he knows why Goh was overthinking so much and why he felt so anxious.

“Goh, baby, what the fuck was in your head all that time?”, Ash asks as he places another kiss on Goh’s forehead, and Goh finds comfort in Ash’s chest and his beating heart. Ash quickly envelops his arms around his body, not even expecting any answer to his question. “Why would I want to find someone new and replace you, huh?”, the rest of the words that Ash craves to utter die in his lips as he feels the familiar weight in his pocket.

How can Ash try to find someone else when he has a proof of eternal love to Goh in his pocket? Ash can’t find someone else and replace Goh because he has different plans. Soon. 

Ash can’t find someone else, because all he wants is standing in front of him, and he holds him in his arms right now. 

🌸

They’re also planning to visit Kalos soon, while Clemont is checking on the Gym again. But for now, Goh is basking in the warmth of Ash’s body as he moves his hand through Goh’s hair at a slow pace. It’s comforting – Ash’s presence, and the familiar walls of the Cerise Laboratory surrounding him. It feels like home. It is home.

Goh frowns. Home. Goh’s mind comes back to the conversation he and Gary had not long ago. 

It must've been hard for him to run away from his home, don’t you think so?

Goh anxiously shifts in Ash’s hold, and Ash looks over at him in concern.

“What’s wrong?”, Ash asks as he sees Goh fidgeting with the necklace in his hand.

“How come you never get homesick?”, Goh voices out the question he’s been dying to ask.

Ash blinks a few times before he smiles. “I do get homesick”, he chuckles, and Goh exhales a shaky breath. “But I always knew that in the end, I will always find my way back home, so it was easier to say goodbye to my mom”, Ash quietly admits as Goh stares at the ceiling. 

“But when you…”, Goh slowly says, being uncertain of his own words, but there’s a squeeze to his hand and it’s easier to breathe.

“When I ran to Alola?”, Ash asks, and Goh nods his head as Ash fidgets with their threaded hands. “I did feel homesick then, too. I’ve always seen Alola as my home, too, you know? And during that time, it didn’t feel like home, but like an escape instead. I also missed you…so it was hard to not to feel homesick”, Ash quietly admits, and Goh frowns.

“What do I have to do with you feeling homesick?”, Goh asks, and Ash chuckles.

That kind of soft laugh that makes Goh feel so warm inside.

“Because you’re my home, and I can’t believe I decided to run from it”, Ash says, and Goh turns to face him.

There’s a few moments of silence where they bask in the quietness of the moment. A few strands of hair fall into Goh’s eyes, and Ash chuckles before he gently brushes them off so he can have a better view of Goh’s eyes. 

“I’ve always seen you as a place I can fall into. I was more relaxed around you, and I didn’t feel any pressure to act like someone else when I was with you. You always were my home, and you still are”, Ash softly says, and if Goh thought it’s only possible to feel Butterfree in his stomach at early stages of dating, he’s proven wrong right now. He feels like he would be falling in love with Ash again.

“Now I know what Gary meant when he said that it was hard for you to run away from your home”, Goh quietly admits, and Ash smiles. “He didn’t mean your hometown, he meant…”.

“Yeah”, Ash breathes out. “He meant you”, Ash says, and for some reason, Goh saddens at that. “Hey, don’t dwell on it”, Ash pleads as he places his hand on Goh’s cheek, and Goh tilts his head as he leans into the touch more.

Goh just offers him a weak smile. “So now…when you go to Alola to train, we’ll both feel homesick then”, Goh whispers as Ash moves some circles on his cheek with his thumb.

“That’s why I made sure we’ll see each other lots despite the distance”, Ash says as he leans to place a soft kiss on Goh’s lips.

Ash has talked about the plan to Goh briefly. It’s not quite finished yet, and they decided to continue to work on it when they’ll be back from Kalos. Goh thought that seeing the plan and the list would be filled with anxiety, but for now, he feels some kind of excitement surrounding it. Goh knows that it’s easier to handle it because Ash is still here, but when Ash will be gone, Goh knows it’s gonna be harder, so he is glad that there will always be something to look forward to. 

“You look like you’re about to break”, Ash notices, but to his surprise, Goh laughs, waking up Grookey and Pikachu in the process. They don’t mind being woken up, though, as they close their eyes again, not being bothered by the sudden noise.

“I’m not”, Goh says, quieter than before, as he threads his and Ash’s hands together. “It just made me a bit emotional”, Goh admits, and Ash offers him a warm smile before Goh closes his eyes.

Ash understands. He feels emotional about the whole thing, too. Just being away from Goh for that long makes his eyes shine with unshed tears. He holds onto Goh extra tight these days.

“There’s nothing we can’t get through, yeah?”, Goh hears Ash whisper, and Goh opens his eyes. He’s met with brown eyes, shining bright into his blue ones.

There’s one thing that Goh will always be sure of, that always was proven right.

From the day Ash and Goh met atop of Lugia, from the moment they became research fellows to their first ever research about Ivysaur. From their first argument to the moment Ash had stolen Goh’s heart away. Ash always showed his hand to Goh. They were friends, but it always felt like something more. Best friends. A good team, like Professor Burnet said. No matter the day or night, Ash was always there for Goh, even when they were falling apart. From the moment Ash said that he wants to go on another journey, from the moment Goh couldn’t handle it, to the moment rain was pouring from the sky, and Ash didn’t care how wet he would be, he was still looking for Goh to fix things between them. From the moment they had their heartfelt talk atop of Lugia, to the moment they said goodbye to each other and went their separate ways. From the moment Ash broke his promise for the first time, from the moment he ignored the first of Goh’s countless messages, to the moment Goh was standing in front of Ash in the doorway of his Alola home. From their first talk in ages under Alola’s starry sky, to their first kiss shared in the stadium full of cheering people. From each of their silly arguments, to the way Ash has always held him close, even if they said some painful words to each other. From the moment Ash read Goh’s diary, to the moment Ash battled alongside Cinderace to protect Goh’s pride. From each talk they had where they were talking through Ash’s memory lane, to this exact moment where Ash holds Goh tight and washes his worries away.

If anything, all these years are proof that they will get through anything. There's proof in all of the words they say to each other, in every tight hug, in every brush of their hands, and in every sweet and deep kiss.

“Yeah”, Goh breathes out, and there’s another kiss brushed to his forehead. “We’ll always be together”, Goh says, some sleepiness finally filling his voice, and Ash hugs him tighter, so they can finally take some rest, just like their Pokemon do.

There’s one thing that Ash will always be sure of, that he will be proven right soon. They’ll always be together, and there’s a proof of it in Ash’s pocket. In the ring that shines brightly, hidden in the Pokeball. For now, hidden in the pocket, but soon will be shining on Goh’s finger even brighter.

🌸

They have a flight to Kalos in a few hours, but they’re not in any rush. They’re not staying there for a long time, so Goh only packed the most necessary stuff. Ash dozed off, sprawled on the couch after the training, Pikachu on his lap, napping as well, and Goh sips his tea slowly in Chloe’s company.

“You’re kidding, right?”, Chloe asks after Goh has explained their next month’s plans, and now she looks at him. dumbfounded. 

But Goh shakes his head, and Chloe is even more confused.

“He’s leaving, you wished for months to be by his side again, and now you’re fine with not going with him?”, Chloe asks and Goh sighs to himself. 

Well, that’s true. In the midst of everything that was happening these few years ago when Goh and Ash were apart, in the midst of feeling betrayed, hurt and confused, there wasn’t a part of any day or night that Goh wouldn’t wish that everything would be like before – to be with Ash again.

Goh exhales a shaky breath. “If I remember correctly, when you and Dawn got together, you didn’t follow her to Sinnoh all the time either”, Goh quips back. It’s meant to be a bicker, but Chloe’s breath catches in her throat as she darts her gaze away, and Goh knows it’s uncharted territory. Something more behind it that wasn’t spoken yet.

Goh raises his brow, and Chloe takes a deep breath. It’s gonna hurt, and neither of them are ready for it.

“I um…I wanted to try contests back then, actually”, Chloe quietly admits, and Goh’s eyes widen in shock at the new information. He holds onto the counter tighter. “But you were so miserable, Goh, I saw life fading away from you with each passing day. I just…I couldn’t leave you, not when you were feeling like that”, Chloe says, and Goh bites the inside of his cheek.

“So…you gave up your dream because of me?, Goh asks, hurt and upset, and Chloe knows this conversation is going nowhere if Goh is already upset. 

She doesn’t utter anything to Goh’s question as he drags his hand through his hair tiredly, his eyes shining with unshed tears. The silence is enough of an answer, so Goh exhales a shaky breath.

“I so fucking hate you for that, Chloe”, Goh says, his voice slightly raised, and Ash shifts in his sleep at the sudden noise.

Goh wants to leave to go to the park before it will escalate into something bigger, because he knows once Ash wakes up, there will be more tension around, but he turns to face Chloe one more time before he leaves. “I would’ve coped, Chloe, I was fine. I didn’t need your pity”, he says, and Chloe almost bites a laugh.

“You say, you were fine? Once you left to go to Kalos, you were calling me that you wanted to die, that’s how not fine you were, Goh”, Chloe says, not missing a beat, and Goh fists his hand, finally deciding to leave the room, to escape the painful truth that Chloe was saying.

Chloe sighs to herself as she pinches the bridge of her nose.

“Well, that could’ve gone better”, she hears Ash say, so she turns to face him, frowning.

“You could at least pretend you’re still asleep”, Chloe chews, and Ash chuckles at that. “I should probably go talk to him”, she says, being unsure of her own words, but Ash stops her before she can leave the room.

“Wait, Chloe. Give him 10 to 15 minutes. All the emotions will wear off. He will eventually let it all out by crying, then you can try to talk to him”, Ash says, and Chloe raises her brow. “Oh, and if he doesn’t hold Grookey close to his chest, but he’s freely sitting on his shoulder, you’re good to go. You’re welcome”, Ash muses as he prepares a bowl full of berries for woken up Pikachu, and Chloe blinks a few times.

“Hmm, what?”, Ash muses, seeing Chloe’s confusion, and she just laughs.

“Nothing, something’s shifting in the air”, she says, frowning, and Ash looks around.

“Gengar, don’t do any pranks while being invisible”, Ash says, and Gengar appears in thin air, flying to another room instead. 

Chloe rolls her eyes. “I didn’t mean Gengar. I meant something’s shifting…between you two”, Chloe muses, looking through the window at Goh’s silhouette. 

Ash tenses a little bit, wondering if maybe Chloe suspects that he already has a ring prepared, but he breathes out in relief when it’s not what she had in mind. 

“I always knew him the best, you know? But now, it’s you, and sometimes I start to think that I don’t know him anymore”, Chloe says, some sadness filling her voice, and Ash just smiles at her. “Even recently, I didn’t know how to calm him down from his panic attack. We had to call you so you could help him feel the ground again”. 

“We’re a couple, right? It’s only natural that I know more about him now than you do. Besides, I can say the same about Dawn. I always knew a lot about her, all her struggles, all her ups and downs, and now it’s you”, Ash says, kneeling to pet Chloe’s Sylveon, who just joined Pikachu for snack time.

Chloe smiles at him. “Are you really okay with him not going with you?”, she asks, leaning over the counter, and Ash nods his head.

“If he prefers to stay half of that time here, and half of that time with me, how can I be opposed to that? That’s what he clearly needs”, Ash says, turning his attention back to Chloe, and she smiles at him.

“You’re good at looking after him”, she says, shifting her gaze to the floor for a second. “I clearly messed up”, she admits, and Ash comes to her to put a hand over her shoulder.

“I don’t think you messed up, you were taking care of him in the way you could. You were looking after him, too. I’m sure, deep down, he knows that. You’re a good friend, Chloe”, Ash says, and Chloe smiles at him, grateful for the reassurance.

“Well, he told me he hates me”, Chloe points out, and Ash smiles at her sympathetically.

“I would call it in the heat exaggerating”, Ash chuckles, and Chloe looks over at him.

“So what was your worst in the heat exaggerating?”, Chloe asks, and Ash tilts his head in a deep thought.

“I would say we’re through”, Ash says, there’s some sadness in his voice over it, and Chloe saddens as well.

She remembers that day, or rather, night too well. It was supposed to be just a nice camping trip, but ended up being a rollercoaster of feelings instead. Goh was trying to find a way of saying to Ash that he wanted to go on his own journey, but Ash ended up beating him to it, and well…it ended the way it ended. Goh took it the wrong way and ran off. Chloe could tell that Ash felt guilty over the whole thing, being upset as well.

“Because?”, Chloe asks, scratching the surface of the counter with her nail, and Ash darts his gaze for a moment.

“Well, it’s only now when I truly reminisce on how differently it all could end up being, you know?”, Ash says, and Chloe tilts her head. “Have you ever thought what would happen if Goh just let me talk instead of running off? I never said I wanted to go on this journey on my own. At this point, Chloe…Goh was still included in my future”, Ash says, his voice trembling, and Chloe smiles at him.

“So what made you change your mind?”, Chloe asks, and Ash bites his lips.

“Well, the talk we had atop of Lugia. He was so…fixated on going on his own journey. I didn’t want to cut his wings off, I didn’t want to stop him from doing what he truly wanted at the moment”, there’s a dry chuckle, followed by a heavy sigh. “I did see him cry at the stairs of the Laboratory the night before we were about to go separate ways, and I didn’t do anything about it, and there’s not a day I don’t curse myself for not changing my mind, because…what if I comforted him instead? What if we talked it through further? What if we went on that journey together after all like we both truly wanted?”, Ash says, his voice shaking with each uttered word, and Chloe puts a hand over his shoulder to offer some comfort.

“Maybe…maybe one of us would have had the courage eventually to confess, and maybe the whole Alola thing wouldn’t have even happened, maybe I wouldn’t have cut him off, maybe I wouldn’t have been drowning in my self-doubts because Goh would always be by my side to wash them all away”, Ash says regretfully, and Chloe smiles at him weakly.

Pikachu jumps on the counter, and Ash chuckles as he starts to pet him.

“I hope that Ash from other universes and parallel worlds doesn’t make the same mistake as me”, Ash says softly, and Chloe chuckles.

“Maybe, it’s just the way it was supposed to be, Ash”, Chloe says, and Ash frowns. “Maybe you just were supposed to not change your mind, maybe it was supposed to be this way. Maybe it’s the chapter of your life that was supposed to happen”, Chloe voices out her thoughts, and Ash chuckles.

“Yeah, maybe you’re right”, Ash breathes out, scratching Pikachu under his chin. “Anyways, you’ll be fine, Chloe, I’m sure he knows you were just looking out for him”, Ash reassures, and Chloe smiles at him, grateful for the reassurance.

“Dawn was looking out for you, too, wasn’t she?”, Chloe asks suddenly, and it takes Ash off guard, because he slightly tenses.

“Um, yeah. She was always there for me when I was struggling, for most of the part, mentally”, Ash admits, and Chloe nods her head. 

She knows that, but Ash doesn’t know she knows. That’s why he decides to come clean.

“She was lying to you”, Ash quietly admits, and Chloe tilts her head. “When I was in Alola, she knew where I was, I asked her not to tell any of you”, Ash says, his voice trembling, but to his surprise, Chloe laughs.

“I suspected that”, Chloe admits, and Ash looks over at her, surprised. “I never was upset with her. I could tell that she was conflicted at some times, especially when she was seeing how Goh was affected by all of it, but she never said a thing. She kept her promise to you. She was a good friend to you”, she smiles, and Ash smiles as well.

“Yeah, I own her a lot”, Ash admits, and Chloe chuckles.

“Okay, maybe I could finally go talk to him, I think the 15 minutes have passed already”, Chloe says, and Ash nods his head. “Can I? Can I bless the majesty with my presence, or do I need to wait until Grookey will be at the right angle on his shoulder?”, Chloe teases, and Ash bursts out laughing.

“No, it’s fine. Go and try your luck”, Ash laughs, and Chloe smiles again. “You’ll be fine”, Ash reassures, and Chloe is grateful for that.

She almost leaves the room, but before she does that, she turns to Ash one more time. “Oh, and Ash? Remember when I asked you to take care of him? You’re doing a great job with that, so thank you. You’re really looking after him in the best way possible”, Chloe truthfully says, and Ash smiles at her words.

“Likewise”, Ash says, and Chloe tilts her head, confused. “Thank you for taking good care of him when I couldn’t”.

🌸

“Goh? Can we talk?”, Chloe asks hesitantly, slowly approaching him, and Goh nods his head silently as Chloe rests her hands on the railing.

Grookey runs off, leaving them alone, and Goh exhales a shaky breath at the sudden loss of weight on his shoulder, but Chloe can tell that Goh is much calmer than he was minutes earlier. He looks down on the grass, but he shifts his gaze to the playing Pokemon nearby.

“I’m sorry”, Goh speaks first, and Chloe is surprised by that, but she nods her head to show that she accepts the apology, even if in her opinion, it wasn’t needed.

She apologizes too, and Goh smiles at that. It’s clear that neither of them know what they’re apologizing for, but they do it for the sake of clearing the tension around them. 

“I don’t think you should, you were looking out for me and I just was too caught up in my head to notice it”, Goh admits, and Chloe smiles at him.

“I tried my best, you know? And I had countless talks with Dawn about it. She knew that I wanted to try contests, and she also knew how I was worried about you. She understood, and believe me, I didn’t give up on my dream, nor did I risk my relationship with Dawn by not going after her every time she had to fly to Sinnoh. I was just…delaying it until you felt better”, Chloe confesses, and Goh frowns.

“But what if…”, Goh is caught up by Chloe’s heavy sigh.

“Right, now you’re gonna hit me with what if”, Chloe rolls her eyes, but Goh chuckles at that.

“I just genuinely wonder, what if I never felt better? What if I didn’t decide to finally face Ash, or if I didn’t do it, and he was so mentally unwell that he didn’t even think of reuniting with me at some point. What would you do?”, Goh looks over at Chloe, and her hand grips the railing too hard.

“That’s a hard question, you know? It's hard to even picture it, but let me tell you that seeing my best friend suffer each day was more painful for me than not going to Sinnoh to try contests. I could try them at any minute of my life, but I never was sure what decision you would make about your life when I would be away. So, I’d rather have you by my side, safe and sound, than be in Sinnoh trying contests. They could wait, but you…could’ve been gone any minute, because I never saw someone’s eyes being so lifeless like yours during the time that Ash was away. I literally saw you fading, and I just…was so scared for you”, Chloe says, her voice trembling with each word, and Goh puts his hand atop of her shoulder to reassure that everything’s okay now. 

“I’m sorry, I just feel so bad that you had to delay fulfilling your dream”, Goh says regretfully, but Chloe shakes her head.

“It worked out in the end, didn’t it?”, Chloe smiles, and Goh softly laughs.

“Looking back on it, though, I thought you would be more happy about seeing me and Ash together, but instead, you almost crashed out the whole Laboratory and ruined my birthday party”, Goh raises his brow in thought, and Chloe blushes from embarrassment at the memory.

“Don’t get me wrong, I was happy, seeing you shining when I saw you both together after all that time in contrast to seeing you so withdrawn for the past months. I was just mad. Mad because he hurt you a lot, and I just thought that you would be back to being friends first, and maybe eventually confess with time, but I saw you holding hands, like all that time when he ghosted you didn’t matter anymore. But I know that I made some harsh comments, and maybe it wasn’t my place to even say them”, Chloe says, regret filling her voice, and Goh smiles at her.

“Well, you were looking out for me, right?”, Goh winks, and Chloe laughs.

“He took my place, though. That was my job earlier”, Chloe pretends to be offended before she smiles genuinely again. “He’s so sweet, he cares about you a lot”.

Goh smiles to himself before he speaks again. “We weren’t exactly together when we came back here from Alola”, Goh admits, and Chloe frowns in confusion.

“I mean, we were? We knew something had shifted in our relationship, we confessed and we held hands, but our first kiss was in the stadium after he defended his Champion title, so we were more than friends, but not boyfriends?”, Goh tries to explain, but Chloe blinks at him, even more confused than before.

“You look as confused as Ash when he tried to figure it out, because Professor Burnet didn’t let us live”, Goh laughs, and Chloe laughs as well. “Partially my fault, because I was the one who wanted to take it slow, so we didn’t put any label on it for some time”.

“That’s sweet that he respected it”, Chloe muses softly, and Goh nods his head. “I was relieved to see you both together, though. Firstly, because it meant that all that awful time was gonna be left behind and that you'll be happier from now on, and additionally, because I could try contests after all, knowing there’s nothing to worry about anymore”, Chloe says, and Goh smiles at her.

“Then, it did work out in the end”, Goh laughs, and Chloe joins him in the laughter.

“It sure did”, Chloe muses, as Goh squeezes her hand for the last time before Pikachu interrupts their conversation, coming running and jumping on Goh’s shoulder.

“What’s up, buddy?”, Goh scratches Pikachu under the chin, and Pikachu exclaims some happy Pika’s in return, but points his paw in the kitchen's direction. “I think Ash has woken up, we’d better check on Ash before he destroys the whole kitchen”, Goh laughs, and Chloe chuckles to herself, before they both make their way back to the Laboratory.

Chloe gets in thought as she glances softly over at Goh, who hugs Ash from behind and starts to help him with chopping vegetables for snacks for their Pokemon.

Chloe narrows her eyes. Yeah, something is definitely shifting between them, and Chloe has a new mission – to figure out exactly what.

🌸

They’re finally on the plane to Kalos. Goh is excited to see their friends again, especially Bonnie. So is Ash, he’s thrilled to battle Alain and Sawyer, but right now, he’s drifted off, alongside Pikachu sleeping on his lap. Goh still tries to understand Dragonite and its Mega Evolution so he decided to do some research on it on his laptop. It all went well, until Ash woke up and successfully distracted him, and Goh wasn’t so thrilled about it.

“Hmm, what do you want?”, Goh asks, absentmindedly, still being focused on his laptop and the research.

“Your attention”, Ash hums, kissing Goh’s shoulder blade, and Goh glances at him, laughing softly. 

Ash uses it to his advantage as he closes the laptop quickly, and Goh groans.

“You can research it further when I’ll be battling Alain and Sawyer. Take some rest now? You were glued to the screen for the last two hours”, Ash says, some familiar concern over Goh filling his voice, and Goh sighs, but decides to take the rest anyway.

“Okay, you win”, Goh rolls his eyes, and Ash grins, leaning for the kiss before Goh can form any protests.

Goh is taken aback, but he does kiss Ash back immediately without any complaints. Partially, because he knows there’s not many kisses left before Ash will leave, and for most of that time, they’ll be seeing each other through the screen. Goh is gonna miss being that close to Ash, so he secretly wants to savor every second of it.

“You could just admit that you wanted a kiss”, Goh teases, biting Ash’s bottom lip before pulling away, and Ash chuckles.

“Maybe I could”, Ash shyly admits, some pink tint of blush covering his face.

Ash looks adorable like that, his face flushed, his brown eyes shining brighter than any star in the sky whenever he looks at Goh. His eyes contrast nicely with the blue shirt he’s wearing now, and Goh can’t dart his gaze away from him. Work of art. 

Goh traces his hand over Ash’s cheek before he tilts his head. “Such a nice color on you, sweetie”, he muses, referring to Ash’s blue shirt, and Ash smiles at him.

“Thank you, glad you like it”, Ash says, threading their hands together, and Goh squeezes the hold.

“Blue always suits you, I know it’s your favorite color”, Goh says, and Ash chuckles.

“It’s the color of my favorite eyes, so you know, we can match whenever I wear something blue, especially in this shade”, Ash says, and a pink blush takes over Goh’s face this time around.

Ash laughs. “And who’s a blushing mess now?”, he teases, winking, and Goh rolls his eyes.

“Oh, shut up”, he quietly mumbles, and Ash leans closer so he can whisper straight into Goh’s ear.

“You know, there’s a way to shut me up”, Ash winks, and Goh chuckles.

“You already got one, you need to be nice to earn another kiss”, Goh teases, opening his laptop again, and Ash groans.

“That’s not fair, I said a lot of nice stuff to you. I think I deserve a kiss”, Ash says, pretending to be offended as he lays his head atop of Goh’s shoulder, focusing on the information that Goh is reading as well, and petting Pikachu slowly.

Goh just snorts to himself, but he does move his hand a few times through Ash’s messy hair before he settles on keeping his hand there completely.

“But it’s kind of funny”, Ash mutters after a moment, and Goh hums in confusion.

“What’s funny?”, he asks, glancing at Ash, and Ash hums.

“That blue is my favorite color, and somehow, I met a person whose eyes were in that shade of blue that I couldn’t help but fall in love with. Sometimes I just can’t help but think that there was some invisible string tying you to me”, Ash says, and he blinks quickly when the screen of the laptop disappears from his vision by how abruptly Goh has closed it.

Ash looks at him, confused. “What? Did I say something wrong?”.

Goh shakes his head. “No, not at all. We did have a fateful encounter, didn’t we?”, he whispers, and Ash chuckles.

“We sure did”, Ash says softly, squeezing Goh’s hand as he looks straight into his eyes. 

Goh meets his gaze, and they just stare into each other’s eyes for a moment. Blue and brown. It’s one of their favorite things to do – just to look into each other’s eyes like no one would be around. They love their staring contests, they love to find out who will give up first. Goh is usually the first one, because he tends to feel vulnerable under Ash’s piercing gaze, but he also feels safe whenever Ash keeps his gaze on him, whenever he looks at him or even when it’s just a brief glance. Goh loves having Ash’s brown eyes on him, because whenever Ash looks at him, Goh never feels more loved.

One strand of Goh’s hair falls into his forehead, and Ash laughs at that, but he quickly brushes it off. Pikachu interrupts them (whatever they are doing) as he wakes up from his nap and he demands some snacks, but Ash silences him quickly.

“Not now, buddy, I’m trying to earn a kiss”, he says, and Goh laughs softly.

“Well, maybe you do deserve that kiss after all”, Goh says as he leans closer, and Ash doesn’t need to be told twice before he connects their lips together.

Pikachu gets the snacks five minutes later when he threatens them to use Thunderbolt, and Goh gets worried about the plane’s safety.

🌸

Ash shares the news with the Kalos and Hoenn gang as soon after they arrive. 

“So we won’t see each other for that long?”, Bonnie pouts, and Ash softly laughs.

“Well, I don’t mind some visits”, Ash says as he threads his hand with Goh’s, and Goh squeezes the hold.

Serena frowns at the way Ash phrased it. “Wait, you’re going alone?”, she asks, and Goh nods his head.

“Oh yeah, Goh will spend most of that time in Vermillion, so you can count on some visits from him here. Well, whenever he won’t be busy visiting me instead”, Ash winks, and Goh laughs before he places a quick, sweet kiss on Ash’s lips.

“Well, Goh is always welcome here. We’ll be in touch whenever we’ll drop by to check on the gym”, Clemont says, and Ash silently thanks him with a smile. 

“We also thought of seeing you in the tournament, Ash, so I’m sure we’ll come to Alola sooner than you think”, Sawyer says, and Ash offers them another smile.

“I’m sure you’ll love Alola, it’s home”, Ash breathes out, and he feels another squeeze to his hand. Goh lays his head on Ash’s shoulder, and Ash quickly places a soft kiss there.

Clemont wants to reply something, but Alain interrupts it.

“You all act like he’ll be going there forever, let’s lift the mood. Let’s battle, Champion. You need to be in shape”, he says as he already goes to stand on the opposite side of the battlefield.

Ash blinks, confused as it takes him a few seconds to process the upcoming battle. Goh whispers straight to his ear you better win, Champion before he unwillingly leaves Ash’s side to join the rest of the gang on the bleachers.

Pikachu runs after Goh. He immediately finds his second favorite place to sit as he jumps on his shoulder. Grookey decides to use Goh’s forearm as his bed to nap on right now. Ash releases his Dragonite, and Alain grins as he knows what it means. Goh politely asks his Rotom Phone to record the whole battle. He doesn’t trust himself to do it right now, especially if his clouded mind circles around Ash and his close departure to Alola.

There’s a hand on his shoulder offering some comfort from May, and there’s another hand threading with his own one from Bonnie.

“You look tense”, Clemont notices, and Goh exhales a shaky breath. “Is everything alright?”.

Goh nods his head. He is alright. He’s better than he ever was, and he doesn’t feel as anxious anymore, but it’s still hard to face the fact that Ash is leaving soon. 

“I’m just scared”, Goh confesses, and Clemont nods his head. “I thought it would be easier each day to face the fact that Ash wants to go to Alola for that long, but it seems to be getting harder, not easier”, Goh says, his voice trembling, and May squeezes his shoulder to offer more comfort.

“But you’ll see each other from time to time, yeah? You’re gonna have something to look forward to”, Serena says, hoping the cheer in her voice will help to cheer Goh up as well.

“Yeah, but, I’m just…I’m just gonna miss him, yeah? And seeing how I was feeling when Ash was away for a year…I don’t wanna feel the same, even if it will be different this time around. He will call, he will message, we will visit each other, but my heart will feel as empty as when he was away and that contact wasn’t there”, Goh says quietly as some tears fall from his eyes, so he quickly wipes them away.

“So why don’t you just go with him?”, May asks, and Goh sighs.

“Because I promised Professor Cerise to still be available for needed research, and also because I tend to get homesick when I’m far away from Vermillion for too long”, Goh admits, and May offers him a warm smile.

“Feeling homesick isn’t something you should be ashamed of. I miss my parents a lot when I’m away from them, so when I was travelling with Ash and Brock, I was glad I had Max by my side”, May admits, hugging Max with her arm. “And, getting together with someone can teach you a lot. The first days and months – you can’t get enough of each other. You want to be close to them constantly, to be by their side and share every single moment with them. But with passing time, when the days turn into weeks, and weeks turn into months, and months turn into years, and you’re used to their company, it’s harder to say goodbye. But it’s natural to you and your partner to start to follow a different path. For example, what you and Ash deal right now – he wants to go to Alola to train for the upcoming tournament, and you need to be available for research. It’s okay to not follow your partner everywhere. Long distance is hard in a relationship, the longing to be next to each other can mess with you a lot, but it won’t be forever. Before you know it, you will see each other soon, and it’s gonna be worth it”, May says, and Goh can pick up on some bitterness in her voice, but mostly it’s the cheer that fills her voice that makes him feel more at ease.

“Are you speaking from experience?”, Goh asks, tilting his head, and May nods.

“There was a time when I was doing performances in Kalos, and May was doing contests in Hoenn”, Serena says. “It was a hard time, but as you can see, we’re doing just fine. I know it may be different for you, because you both were through a lot, but I’m sure nothing comes between you two, and we’ll all see each other again in Alola, cheering the loudest for Ash”, Serena smiles, and Goh offers her a smile as well.

“Thank you, I appreciate the reassurance”, Goh says kindly, as already woken up Grookey paws at his arm to get his attention towards the battlefield.

“Oh yeah, she’s gonna Mega Evolve”, Goh says, already excited to see it again, and Bonnie and Max look in awe when it happens.

“We couldn’t believe it when you messaged us that Dragonite can Mega Evolve. That’s so cool”, Sawyer muses, and Goh agrees.

“It sure is. Another trick up Ash’s sleeve for any of the Tournaments”, Goh says, before his eyes soften when Ash winks to him from the battlefield when the outcome of the battle is obvious.

Alain recalls his fainted Charizard, and Bonnie and Max run to see Mega Evolved Dragonite up close.

Goh quickly pecks Ash’s lips before he can demand any kisses, and Pikachu jumps back on the familiar place on Ash’s shoulder. 

Sawyer asks for a battle, too, and Ash agrees to do it later when Dragonite will have some rest, so for now, they decide to eat some sweets that Serena has baked and fall into some nice conversations.

“How’s Bea and Korrina doing?”, Goh asks, sharing some of the dessert with Grookey.

“They’re doing fine. I just messaged Korrina to let her know that you are in Lumiose. Bea is already fired up about battling you, Ash”, Clemont says, and Ash sheepishly laughs. 

“Bea is also having some rougher times in the World Coronation Series. She battled a strong trainer with a Blastoise recently, and she dropped in the rank”, Alain says, and Ash tenses. He glances briefly at Goh, who looks unfazed at the information, but he does share some concern about Bea losing the battle.

“Um, do you remember what the trainer’s rank was?”, Ash asks, trying to sound neutral. It’s not him, right? It’s just a coincidence, right?

“Ah, I think 150– something”, Alain shrugs, and Ash’s hand turns into a fist on its own. Pikachu whines something next to him, and Ash shares the rest of the dessert he was eating with him.

“I’m sure battling with Ash will cheer her up”, Goh muses, still unfazed by the whole thing, but Ash threads their hands together to offer some comfort to himself.

“I’ll win for sure”, Ash winks, his mood recovered when Goh nuzzles into his cheek.

“Of course, you will, there’s no doubt about it”, Goh whispers as he kisses Ash’s cheek softly, and Ash thanks him for the support by squeezing his hand.

The conversation goes on. Ash still feels uneasy, and Goh seems to be oblivious to that. Ash takes a deep breath. It needs to be just a weird coincidence. There’s no other explanation.

But Ash’s worries turn out to be true, when he receives a message from Camille, asking if they could come and drop by for dinner somewhere this week, with a mysterious hint that she wants to talk about something with Ash.

Ash has a bad feeling about it.

🌸

My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue

All's well that ends well to end up with you

Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover

And you'll save all your jokes for me

And at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover