Chapter Text
The Internet Spirit hummed.
Somewhere between the tangled cables of fandom servers and the ethereal winds of trending hashtags, the Spirit blinked open a thousand browser tabs at once. It had seen many wars — console wars, ship wars, best girl debates — but this one would be different.
A bright pop-up emerged from the digital ether, reading:
2025 FANDOM POPULARITY REPORT
1️⃣ UMA MUSUME: PRETTY DERBY
2️⃣ MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC
And that… was the spark that doomed two worlds.
Tracen Academy – Cafeteria of Chaos
Gold Ship spat her drink everywhere.
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE’RE NUMBER ONE?!”
The cafeteria erupted like a racetrack grandstand. Plates clattered, forks flew, Twin Turbo crashed through a table, yelling “WE DID ITTTT!”, and Symboli Rudolf facepalmed so hard it echoed like thunder.
Mejiro McQueen delicately wiped frosting from her cheek. “Gold Ship, please refrain from turning breakfast into a natural disaster—”
“McQueen! McQueen! Do you realize what this means?” Gold Ship stood atop a table, eyes sparkling with divine mischief. “We! Are! Fandom! Royalty!”
Across the room, Special Week gasped, nearly dropping her rice bowl. “We really are number one? Like, really, really?”
Silence Suzuka smiled softly. “You’ve earned it, Spe-chan. All of you have.”
The girls cheered. Haru Urara hugged Meisho Doto, Rice Shower tried not to cry, and Daiwa Scarlet and Vodka immediately began arguing over who was more popular.
“I got more fan art!” Scarlet declared.
Vodka slammed her drink down. “Yeah? Well, I’ve got more memes!”
Meanwhile, Symboli Rudolf rubbed her temples. “We must handle this victory with dignity.”
Gold Ship jumped behind her. “Dignity? I already ordered fireworks!”
McQueen: “You what?”
BOOM.
The entire courtyard lit up with neon words spelling #UMAFOREVER.
And so began the great celebration.
Canterlot – The Friendship Council Emergency
Twilight Sparkle burst into the throne room with a stack of glowing scrolls.
“Celestia! Luna! The data’s wrong! It has to be wrong!”
Celestia sipped her tea calmly. “Twilight, my dear, fandoms come and go—”
“Not this one!” Twilight yelled, pacing in panic. “They’re horse girls, Celestia! Human horses! How did we lose to ourselves?!”
Luna raised an eyebrow. “Technically, they do not possess magic.”
“Exactly!” Twilight slammed her hooves on the table. “They have no friendship lessons, no harmony magic, no 200-episode legacy—and yet somehow they’ve surpassed us in popularity!”
Spike peered over the scroll. “Uh, it says here they have, uh… better animation?”
Twilight twitched. “BETTER ANIMATION?! They just run in circles with sparkles!”
Pinkie Pie popped out of nowhere with a party hat. “We could throw a ‘Friendship Comeback’ party! Balloons, confetti, maybe resurrect the fandom a little?”
Fluttershy hid under the table. “Umm… I actually like Uma Musume. Silence, Suzuka’s really nice.”
The entire room fell silent. Twilight’s eye twitched again. “Traitor.”
Rainbow Dash crossed her hooves. “Relax, Twi. We can race them or something. I’m the fastest pony alive!”
“Race them?” Twilight muttered darkly. “Fine. If diplomacy won’t work…” She looked toward the horizon, eyes glowing faintly with magic. “…then friendship will march on the battlefield.”
Spike sighed. “Oh no. Not again.”
Tracen Academy – The Celebration Escalates
By the time Twilight finished assembling her council, Gold Ship had turned Tracen’s courtyard into a full-blown parade.
“Ladies, fillies, and internet dwellers!” she shouted through a megaphone. “Today, we celebrate our rise to meme royalty!”
The student body roared. Kitasan Black and Satono Diamond saluted, Taiki Shuttle waved the American flag for no reason, and El Condor Pasa attempted to perform a victory speech in Spanish before getting tackled by Twin Turbo.
Special Week and Silence Suzuka sat on the sidelines, watching the madness unfold.
“Do you think they’ll be mad about this?” Spe-chan asked.
Suzuka smiled faintly. “Probably. But for now…” She leaned against her friend. “…let’s just enjoy the moment.”
Fireworks exploded again, this time spelling:
WE RUN THE INTERNET.
Equestria – Portal of Misunderstanding
The next morning, a rift opened in the skies above Tracen.
Symboli Rudolf looked up from her clipboard. “I have a very bad feeling about this.”
From the swirling light descended Twilight Sparkle and the Mane Six — surrounded by royal guards, banners, and far too much glitter.
“Attention, residents of… anime!” Twilight declared dramatically. “I come in the name of friendship and copyright law!”
Gold Ship gasped. “The ponies are real?! McQueen, grab the camera!”
McQueen: “No, don’t—”
Click. Flash. Viral meme in three seconds.
Rainbow Dash flew forward, pointing. “You call those legs aerodynamic?!”
Scarlet immediately stepped up. “Wanna test that, rainbow chicken?”
“BRING IT ON!”
Symboli Rudolf facepalmed again. “Oh no, it’s spreading.”
Twilight tried to regain control. “Please, let’s talk this out before—”
Gold Ship interrupted with a grin. “Sure, we can talk… in the arena!”
The Declaration of War
The Tracen Academy bell rang like a war drum.
Twilight Sparkle levitated her crown, eyes glowing. “If friendship cannot reclaim our fans… then magic will!”
Gold Ship pointed dramatically with her tail. “Challenge accepted! Winner gets the trending hashtag!”
The sky split in two. The Spirit of the Internet trembled with excitement.
Discord appeared in a recliner, holding a bag of popcorn. “Finally. A crossover that makes no sense and perfect sense.”
The Uma Musume lined up on one side of the field, the ponies on the other.
Somewhere, music began to swell — half anime opening, half Equestrian ballad.
And as both armies prepared to charge, the Internet Spirit whispered gleefully through the digital wind:
“Trending Now: #FandomWars”
Then the title appeared, shining across both worlds.
UMA MUSUME VS. MY LITTLE PONY: THE POPULARITY WARS
The war had begun.