Archive of Our Own ^beta

Jade rolled her eyes, suppressing a small smile of fondness as Kit slid into the passenger seat and immediately took over the stereo system with an ease that could only be gained with practice. Taylor’s ‘Debut’ album immediately began blaring, and Jade groaned aloud. Taylor Swift was NOT her favorite. She had grown up hearing about her on the radio constantly, and at school, she was continually reminded of her. Somehow, Jade had learned all about the woman’s romantic history against her will. It literally felt as though she had absorbed the information via osmosis.

Still, Jade looked forward to these moments. She looked forward to the sound of Kit singing along and, on occasion, singing along as well to the older classics that felt impossible not to enjoy, though she wouldn’t have chosen them herself. Jade loved listening to Kit sing and the joy inherent in that sound.

Kit only sang when she was well and pleased. Jade couldn’t begrudge her this. She could only fall further in love with her. Blue eyes glittered beautifully. Jade found them captivating, and the gaze made it hard to drive. Still, she would have done anything to make sure that look stayed on Kit’s face.

Jade observed Kit’s obsession with exasperated amusement over the course of a decade. The rhythm of car rides with Kit remained the same; Jade continued not to protest and to sing along when the mood took her. Their Blend played when Jade got to choose, and Kit had… specific playlists, one for each of her many and varied moods. Jade knew them like the back of her hand… the moods and the songs that matched. She’d made a study of Kit, wanting to commit each piece of her that she was granted to memory. 

Jade dreamed in Taylor’s lyrics now. She dreamed of using them to tell Kit exactly how she felt, once and for all. She dreamed of being allowed the chance to learn the things she wanted about Kit.

The day she turned eighteen, she pulled a small wooden box from beneath her bed and got two skeletal clasped hands tattooed along her ribcage with looping cursive handwriting tattooed along them.

I’d meet you where the spirit meets the bones

Finally, Taylor had written something her gay ass could relate to. Between her and Hozier and a handful of newer artists, Jade was suddenly drowning in musicians that finally GOT her.

This song, though, by a musician Jade really just tolerated… she felt in her chest. She felt it in her heart—in her soul. 

Jade had somewhat intended the ink, the gesture of the tattoo, as a surprise for Kit. She hadn’t told her best friend about the money she was saving, about the time she had spent staring at herself in the mirror to choose the placement, or even about what those words meant to her. Jade was anxiously excited to see the look on Kit’s face when she saw it for the first time.

It wasn’t as though Kit knew of Jade’s feelings, so she likely wouldn’t ‘get’ the meaning beneath the art. She wasn’t about to explain it.

Kit tended to be overwhelmed. Jade didn’t want to add to that with her own feelings. She didn’t want to burden Kit with her heart, not when it seemed her life was in constant turmoil. Jade had decided to suffer through it. For the rest of her life, Jade intended to shoulder that particular burden alone.

Jade picked Kit up from her dorm to head home for the summer. She could have easily ordered an E-Z-Drive home, but they loved their road trips together. They loved talking through the nights and singing through their days. Jade and Kit even kind of loved the misery of the car rides.

She turned in her seat, wincing despite herself at the feeling of the seat belt against the tattoo, and watched as Kit walked up to slide into the passenger’s seat.

Jade didn’t even look as Kit put on a ‘Road Trip’ playlist she had made just for this occasion. The exchange was completely wordless. Suddenly, Jade felt as though she were breathing after holding her breath for days. Kit’s mere presence, her comfort in Jade’s space, felt like a weight lifted off her chest.

Immediately, Jade wanted to tell Kit about her tattoo. She was excited and proud and wanted to share all of that with Kit now that they were sharing space once more. Jade had only ever kept two secrets in the history of her friendship with Kit Tanthalos: her feelings for Kit and her tendency to let Kit win at… well, anything and everything, for the sole purpose of enjoying the expression of success on her face. Jade had… a few regrets.

Kit wasn’t in the mood to sing today, it seemed. The music seemed to wash over her like a balm or a healing breeze of some kind. To keep herself from spewing her every thought out of her mouth, Jade extended her hand across the center console, palm up. It was an invitation that Kit gladly accepted. She could imagine Kit accepting the thread of her feelings that Jade convinced herself she was communicating across the car as well. Her heart pulsed through her chest, into her arm, and down through her hand into Kit’s.

Kit squeezed her hand back as though she knew exactly what Jade had meant by the gesture. Sometimes, Jade worried Kit had some rare ability to read her mind. It was both amazing and terrifying. She couldn’t believe her own silly mind sometimes. There was no way Kit could feel, read, or hear Jade’s thoughts. If she did, Jade had to think Kit would have taken off running. Jade couldn’t imagine any other possible reaction. Her feelings were overpowering, all-consuming, and as deep as the ocean.

Jade cast her gaze over to Kit; a casual check-in without interrupting the moment.

“I’m okay,” Kit replied, the words entering the world on the back of a heavy exhale. “Just not excited about going home.”

“Understandable, but we aren’t there yet. Can you cross that bridge when we get there tomorrow and enjoy this moment while it’s still ours?” Jade asked and advised. It was selfish, really. She wanted Kit in every possible moment of hers. Jade wanted to share Kit’s… everything.

“You’re right. We have each other. We have the car and the road. We have a good music. Everything is alright.” Kit said as though it ought to have been obvious. Convincing herself.

“Everything’s just fine, Kit. It’s you and me. Just the two of us—and the road.” Jade agreed. “I’ll argue about some of the music choices, though.”

“Methinks the lady doth protest too much,” Kit chuckled dryly. “You act like I haven’t been the car DJ ever since you first got a car. You act like we don’t have the most fun. Honestly, Jade, you be more of a Swiftie than me at this point.”

“How dare you!” Jade gasped in mock insult. “I enjoy two or three songs, and you accuse me of being a fan? You know every word of every song. You know the bitch’s middle name. You are as Swiftie as a Swiftie gets, thank you.”

The pair relaxed into silence once more, then. Jade could feel her eyelids growing heavy, but not in the tired way. She could feel comfort pressing her back into the driver’s seat, as though she could spend the rest of her life guiding them down the road. Kit seemed to be processing her way into relaxation as well, so Jade allowed the moment to settle as well. ‘Midnights’ played in the background as Kit rearranged their fingers into a more comfortable position.

Softly, Kit and Jade ordered in the drive-through, the night beginning to press down on them like a weighted blanket. Coffee kept them awake, and Kit turned the music to louder and more raucous tracks to entertain them. The longer the night went on, the funnier everything became.

Every little sound was the new best joke, every song was the best one ever, and the deep conversations hit harder than they ever had before. Jade felt every word of Kit’s deep down in her heart. She loved it when they got like this, laughing at everything and nothing, making the best memories they’d ever had. The kind they could have when they were this young and this dumb. The urge to show Kit her tattoo got harder and harder to resist.

She kept imagining Kit’s expression, the way her eyes would light up, and how touched she might be. Jade hoped she wasn’t getting her hopes up. She hoped Kit loved the art as much as she did. She hoped she could hold out at least until the swelling and redness went down enough that it looked good for Kit, the way it was meant to be seen. She had no idea why she was overthinking this so much, either.

Kit snoozed in the passenger seat, but she still had a grip on Jade’s hand, had only let it go for brief moments throughout the trip, and Jade’s heart fluttered an embarrassing amount at it. She ought to be used to holding Kit’s hand at this point. She ought to have adjusted to the thrill that any amount of physical contact granted her. Still, something had felt different this night. Jade sensed a shift in the air. Change was generally not her friend, but Jade was forcing herself to remain cautiously optimistic.

‘Ivy’ came on, and the reminder made the tattoo on Jade’s side burn all the more, as though it were insisting she acknowledge its presence. Kit’s breathing was deep and even, and Jade used the opportunity to rearrange her aching and numb bones in the seat. She scratched at the tattoo, which was probably begging for lotion about now. She knew she shouldn’t, but it was driving her crazy.

Jade hummed along to the song, feeling as though the lyrics were inscribed on her ribs without her knowledge. The song felt written for her. Kit shifted in her sleep, trying to get comfortable, and curled her blanket into a pillow-like shape. Jade felt her heart melt at the sight. She would tell Kit tomorrow, she promised herself. She would tell her once they’d had a real meal, a real sleep, and a real shower. For now, she would dedicate herself to safely shepherding her girl home. Jade drove on.

—--/////—--

Jade went inside with Kit instead of dropping her off, at Sorsha’s insistence. Sorsha had let them in with a relieved smile and a tired look on her face. Jade wondered what the look meant. Ballentine wasn’t prone to such concerns, and she couldn’t remember her mother or father to know if they had ever worried the way Sorsha Tanthalos did over her twins. She liked to imagine that maybe they had. The sun was beginning to rise as they dragged themselves up the stairs to Kit’s bedroom.

They took turns showering, and Jade was somehow too tired to panic over a clean-smelling and shower-soft Kit sliding across her king bed to Jade’s side of the bed to use Jade’s shoulder and chest as a pillow. On similar occasions, Jade would never have been able to sleep, her heart pounding at the contact and keeping her awake. This night, Jade’s cheek leaned down to rest against the top of Kit’s head.

Jade loved that Kit trusted her like this, asleep with her cheek pressed to the cool car window. She loved how the car felt fuller, more comfortable, and just… better, solely because Kit was there with her. She sang along with the radio that played an incomprehensible song, just because she knew Kit liked it. The dream didn’t tell her where they were going or why, but it did tell her that it was Taylor Swift playing on the radio.

Beautiful. 

It was the most beautiful dream, based on a beautiful real-life moment.

Kit shoved her nose even harder into Jade’s shoulder as she stirred awake. The movement woke Jade at the same time, and she was gifted the opportunity to admire the beauty of Kit as she stretched to wake up. Her eyes were smooth with sleep, her active brows coming out of rest, and pink lips slack until they creased with the displeasure of wakefulness. 

“Hmmm, ‘mornin,” Kit hummed, and it was like music to Jade’s sleepy mind. Music, always. Music that followed her even into her dreams. Music haunted her. Music, lyrics that were inked onto her side… itching and burning, more and more as Jade awoke completely.

“Morning, Kit. Did you sleep well?” Jade asked on autopilot, looking around for lotion somewhere, anywhere in the room. Her hand found the tattoo and pressed on it in the search for a stop to the itching. 

“The best I’ve slept in a long while,” Kit said in the sleep-warmed voice that Jade so loved.

Jade nodded and swung her legs out of the bed, humming the song that wasn’t a song under her breath as she pulled her shirt off on the way to the bathroom. Lotion, beautiful and wonderful and soothing lotion, was waiting for her there on the counter. Preemptive relief had Jade sighing at just the sight of the bottle. 

Two pumps' worth was enough to cover the tattoo and cool and soothe the angry red lines. She could feel Kit’s eyes following her outburst of movement, and Jade took three steadying breaths as they both changed clothes. Jade tracked Kit in her periphery, admiring the slow motion that Kit pushed through in the mornings. It seemed impossible that her best friend could be unaware of the effect she had on Jade, grinning lopsidedly, sleepily across the room as she tugged off her own shirt and made her way to the bathroom beside Jade. From her point of view, all of the air in the space had evaporated and become electrified. Kit had to know. Smooth, soft, and cool fingers tugged up the hem of Jade’s shirt and skated over the fresh tattoo.

“I thought you hated Taylor Swift…” Kit said with a soft, sleep-hoarse voice, fingers lingering on Jade’s ribcage and halting Jade’s ability to breathe.

“I do.” Jade answered, the words having to be forced out on an exhale.

“Then—why?” Kit asked, and Jade’s voice felt too tremulous to use just yet. Blue eyes were wide, and Jade searched them for any hint of understanding; she didn’t want to have to spell it all out for Kit. She didn’t know if she could. Jade only found awe, likely for how beautiful the artwork had come out. Jade felt the same way when she had first seen it in the mirror.

“Because of you, of course,” Jade said and wished her words had a little more strength behind them.

“'’Of course’ only works when you’re in on the joke, Jade.” Kit said, her tone containing all of the force that had been missing from Jade’s. “What do you mean you got a tattoo because of me?” 

“Not ‘because’ of you. More like… ‘for you.’ It’s because that line, that song, they remind me of you. That’s how I feel about you. It was the first time I heard how I feel about you spelled out in words.” Jade started to pick up speed as she spoke, as though unveiling the meaning of her tattoo to herself as well. “I feel like we would have found one another in any universe, like we were meant to face down the world together, and I would ‘meet you where the spirit meets the bones,’ because for me, it’s always been you. It’s always just been you and me. Plus… you know how I feel about Emily.”

“I do know. I know she’s too much competition for me.” Kit chuckled and took the lotion from Jade, rubbing it warm between her palms before sliding it over the tattoo again. Jade wondered how Kit felt about it, how she felt about the texture beneath the soft and sensitive pads of her fingers. She hoped Kit liked it. She desperately wanted Kit to like the tattoo.

It was on Jade’s body forever now, and God, Jade wanted Kit to like her body. Jade certainly liked Kit’s.

“No one is too much competition for you,” Jade said, though she knew she was giving too much of the game away. Though she knew she was walking through a door Kit might not have even known she’d opened. Jade could feel the weight of the words, heavy with the meaning packed into them, as they left her mouth. Her chest lightened with the relief of their burden.

Kit registered the admission slowly.

“You love me like Emily Dickinson. You love me like Taylor.” Kit said the words like they meant everything to her.

“I love you where your soul meets your bones,” Jade said. “I really love you. I’m yours for as long as you’ll have me. However you might want to have me. I am completely, totally, and ridiculously in love with you. Always have been.”

If Jade was going to ease her burdens… She might as well drop them all then and there at Kit’s feet, where Jade would lay everything she was, had been, and could be.

Kit’s eyes were wider even than before, looking as though she were trying to absorb the vastness of the universe through them, as though she were hearing every lyric she loved all at once. Jade knew then she would remember that look on Kit’s face for the rest of her life, whether for good or for ill. Blue eyes were half-filled with tears, making them sparkle with every shade of blue at one time. Kit’s lower lip was pinned beneath her teeth, savagely bitten as Kit worried it. Jade hoped the words she could see Kit rolling around in her mouth were good ones. She didn’t know what might become of her otherwise. 

“You love me?” Kit asked, and Jade carved the memory onto her heart. There was so much hope there that she felt crushed on Kit’s behalf. She wondered if maybe all of this time, Kit had been harboring the same secret hope that Jade had.

“I do.” Jade confessed in a way she hoped conveyed how very solid she was in her position, how much she knew that fact from the very core of her being. She wanted Kit to feel the words in the same way she did.

“That’s… wow,” Kit replied, her eyes falling to her shoes as the information processed. Jade’s heart felt trapped in a vice. The anticipation was going to kill her.

“I love you… and you’ll kill me if you don’t answer soon.” Jade said softly, her voice bordering on broken as she braced against the thunder of her heart against her ribs. Kit’s gaze softened and lit up delightedly. Jade felt the breath return to her lungs. If she could do anything, she could read Kit’s face.

“I love you, Jade. More than words or the stars could hold… and I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life to tell you that.” Kit said in an equally true and firm tone. Jade had no choice but to believe her.

All she could do was stare at Kit, stare at her and admire her, and sigh happily in adoration.

“Are you going to kiss me about it, or what?” Kit asked when she realized Jade had been rendered speechless. Jade’s heart proceeded to skip several important beats.

She buried one hand in Kit’s soft, short locks and forced the grip to stay soft, refusing to grip so strongly as her instinct urged her to. Locks were silken between her fingers, and breaths were hot where they graced her neck after a few moments.

Jade leaned forward as though in slow motion.

Kit rose to meet her, blue eyes fluttering closed.

Jade’s chest clenched, and her hands tightened against Kit, pulling her close until there wasn’t a modicum of space left between them. She felt all of the emotion she had spent so long repressing welling up inside herself. She could have cried. It was all too perfect.

Kit’s kiss was soft and gentle, almost hesitant as their lips brushed together. Jade suppressed a too-happy sigh and immediately began yearning for their next kiss. She didn’t release Kit’s hips. She didn’t know if she would ever be able to willingly pull away. She didn’t know what force would be able to pull her away from Kit again.

It was the sweetest kiss Jade had ever known—the softest and most gentle thing in the world. Jade knew she would spend the rest of her life craving those kisses.

“Good?” Kit asked softly.

“Perfect,” Jade answered honestly. “Almost too perfect.”

“I don’t think that’s a thing,” Kit chuckled.

“It is if I say it is,” Jade grumbled and swooped down to take another. Kit laughed again, against Jade’s mouth. Jade felt her own lips split into a smile.

“Awh, poor Jade.” Kit pulled away, her palm pressing gently against the new, precious tattoo and drawing a pleased hiss out of Jade.

“Don’t press me, Kit Tanthalos. You don’t know how badly I’ve wanted this. You don’t know how long I’ve wanted it.” Jade’s hands tightened on Kit’s hips, and she watched Kit’s throat move as she swallowed. The shape of the movement captured Jade’s gaze. Her fingers wanted to clench, but Jade gave in and let her lips follow the trail her eyes had carved. 

—--/////—--

Kit sighed heavily at the pleasurable contact, her back making a soft impact against the bathroom counter as Jade pressed her back with the gentle pressure of body weight bearing down on her. Kit was a bit surprised to find that she loved the feeling. Being crowded wasn’t a feeling she had ever liked before. Usually, Kit wanted a pretty solid bubble protecting her personal space. She had only ever wanted Airk in there before. Airk… and Jade. Her favorite people. The people she trusted most.

Every inch of Jade was pressed to Kit, the palm pressed over Jade’s tattoo trapped between them. She could feel the tension in every line of muscle beneath that flat hand and the smooth softness of the lotion over the tattoo. Kit fought to keep that hand relaxed. She didn’t want to claw off the brand-new art installation that had led them to this place with one another. It was too beautiful.

Beautiful on Kit’s palm, where she could feel it beneath her hand.

Beautiful, it was burned forever into her memory.

Beautiful and black in comparison to Jade’s skin, all pretty and raised against it.

Beautiful amongst the massive collection of freckles peppered across her skin.

Jade’s lips were equally beautiful along Kit’s throat, lighting up every nerve and skin cell. She throbbed. Her heart, her hands, her lips… and between her legs.

Kit wanted more. She wanted to feel all of what Jade had to offer. She could let Jade consume her the way she had always wanted. She wanted to crawl inside of Jade as the other woman continued her advance and the possessive kisses along her throat. Kit freed her hand from between their bodies and twisted both into Jade’s shirt.

Kit’s leg lifted as though of its own accord, wrapping around Jade’s thigh to pull her even closer. Jade growled into Kit’s neck, which definitely felt like it would sport a bruise in the morning. Kit couldn’t bring herself to care. Jade’s hand, not locked in Kit’s hair, grasped at Kit’s bare thigh, held impossibly closer. Her body yearned for Jade’s closer… closer… closer.

“Should—should we slow down?” Jade panted into her skin, pulling just a hair’s breadth away. It was the exact incorrect moment she could have made the request.

“Slowing down is for losers. There’s skill, and then there’s talent… and I just so happen to have both. Now, come and show me what you can do.” Kit scoffed and pulled Jade even closer. Hands sank into her ass, and suddenly she was flying, being lifted into the air, up and onto the counter that Kit really wished she had cleaned before she left for school.

Jade’s strength was both easy and surprising. It made Kit’s breath catch. She didn’t know why such casual displays made her lungs stop working, but she truly didn’t mind it. Kit was more than willing to let Jade put her wherever she wanted.

She had never seen this look in Jade’s eyes before. She loved the deep, dark, cinnamon-warm tone. She loved that it was for her. Kit loved that she was able to have that effect on Jade, on her Jade, and that was all for her. Kit wanted to bury herself in that feeling, in Jade.

“Do you know how good you feel?” Jade gasped into Kit’s skin, and Kit felt as though she could hear Jade’s self-control fraying. Kit was also rather certain she didn’t know how good she felt. “I’ve been waiting for so long.”

“I don’t—know,” Kit did her best to respond, but her skin felt as though it might vibrate right off her body if Jade didn’t stop doing such wonderful things with her mouth. She thought she would explode if Jade had stopped.

“You should know. You should know all of the different ways that you are amazing. Your soft skin… your perfect pink lips, and… god, your taste. What makes you taste so perfect? God.” Jade’s voice trembled. She couldn’t keep herself steady, her body wracked with awe.

Kit felt every word in her body. She felt them like Jade’s fingers gently dragging down her spine, between her legs, and deep down in the delicious tightness in her insides. She wanted to reply, her mind a tumult of words, thoughts, and feelings. Kit couldn’t order the mess and couldn’t force her tongue to make any shapes besides “Fuck” and “Jade.” Remembering to breathe required all of her focus, whatever focus it might have been.

“It’s okay, my love. I’ve got you. I’m here.” Jade said, seeming to be in complete control of her mind, her words, and even Kit’s body. Kit hadn’t realized that Jade had brushed aside her shorts and her panties. Jade was teasing her terribly and making Kit’s deep breaths turn into short and blinding gasps and pants. Her chest ached, her heart clenched, and the delicious feeling low in her gut began to tighten where Jade’s words lived.

Kit wanted the words to fill and draw tight that sensation to completion, to a finish. Warmth filled her as she lost the ability to understand what Jade was saying. She could feel the words like a comfortable blanket smoothing across her skin.

Jade played Kit’s body like an instrument meant only for her. Her skin burned with each of Jade’s touches. Kit’s leg wrapped around Jade’s waist now and pulled her closer. She wanted every inch of their bodies pressed together. Nothing else would ever have been enough. Kit couldn’t imagine that even every inch of Jade would be enough, either—no amount of closeness, no amount of touch, or heart.

Kit could feel Jade’s heart in every single touch. She could feel the deep need and passion beneath every touch. Kit burned from the inside out, and it was just enough to meet Jade’s own heat. She had no grasp on anything besides Jade’s shoulders, a distant thought telling her that she needed to be careful not to leave bloody half circles in the beautiful brown skin.

The deep, dark cinnamon-warm part of Kit’s mind wondered if maybe Jade wouldn’t mind it.  She knew they were both the type to want to carry around reminders of what they were to one another, of the shift that had occurred that night. They needed proof it was real. 

Kit needed proof that all of this wasn’t going to go away in the morning. Maybe she had it there, permanently ingrained on Jade’s skin. 

Where the spirit meets the bone.

Taylor Fucking Swift. 

Kit ran her hand over the tattoo again and took a nip on Jade’s neck just because she could. The gasping, breathy yelp of surprise was something Kit knew she would never forget for the rest of her life. She knew she would be getting off to that sound for the rest of her life.

Jade’s hand pulled Kit close. Her hand buried in Kit’s hair, her face tucked into Jade’s shoulder where it met her throat, just below where she’d bitten. It was home. Kit finally felt at home.