Chapter Text
Sarge was pissed at him. Lightning knew that much. The war vet had told him plenty of times to stop just lying around like the world meant nothing. He had sat Lightning down after the crash, but still after he had recovered from the worst of the injuries for the most part. The man had sat him down and they had a long talk about trauma. It was a talk that Lightning really didn’t want to have, even after living in radiator slings for almost 11 years. Vulnerability still wasn’t his strong suit.
Sarge had been through his own scars. He was only trying to help at the time, and he was only trying to help now, Lightning knew that. Yet sometimes it really felt like the man just had it out to get him. Sarge kept repeating the same thing to him.
“You lived to get here, not everyone gets that chance. Don’t throw it away.”
He knew guilt-tripping wasn’t exactly what the man was intending to do, but sometimes it really felt like it. He knew he should be so grateful
that the crash didn’t kill him. A crash on the track like that had killed so many others before him. He was lucky The 95 hadn’t gone up into an explosion of flames. Sometimes he felt like that outcome would have been easier than this. He was in the hospital for a month straight, hardly conscious most of the time. Sally stayed by him the majority of those days. Mater had stayed as much as the tow trucker could. Sarge and Sheriff would pop in every once in a while to see how he was doing.
Nothing was as devastating as hearing Mater explain the amount of times he had woken up crying for Doc. He missed the man more than he could fathom. He would know what to do. Doc would know what to do. Doc wouldn’t be sitting inside of his mentor's old garage staring at the walls all day. He had tried to come back, but the world had moved on without him. The world hadn’t moved on from him yet, but he still didn’t have it in himself to push any harder.
He was utterly exhausted. His body was so tired. His mind was tired. He was discharged from the hospital only for a couple of days when Bobby and Cal had shown up. The retired racers had cried when they saw him. Well, Cal had cried. Bobby had tried to hide it. The hug they had wrapped him in hurt his ribs, but he didn’t care about that when he had the arms of his best friends around him. He hadn’t seen Cal since the former Dinoco racer had retired. He hadn’t seen Bobby since he had been fired from Octane Gain. Saying he missed them was an understatement. He didn’t know how he had gone without them for so long.
Cal was supposed to be visiting Radiator Springs again today actually. Cal had told him he was just bored and wanted to come see him. Lightning knew it was more than that though. He knew that party because Sarge had heard from The King that Cal was really struggling mentally with everything that was happening. That he needed an excuse to get his nephew out of the house. Lightning didn’t like to think about the idea of Cal of all people being depressed. Sweet, bubbly Cal. Cal had always been that person to hype everyone up. To check on everyone and motivate them to do their best.
This year had really gotten to all of them it seemed. All three of them had gone from being the best racers in the league to retired and crashed. From everything to nothing. Or at least that's how it felt. So when Sarge had banged on the garage door as Lightning sat and stared at the walls, he assumed that was why.
“Boy if you dont get your ass out here imma get Sheriff to cuff you,” The retired vet muttered through the door. Lightning pushed himself off of the beanbag that he was currently curled up on. He hoped he didn’t look too monstrous. He had grey sweatpants and an old white Rusteze T-Shirt that he hadn’t worn in a while. He lifted his arm and smelled himself to make sure he didn’t reek of sweat. He huffed, good enough, and pushed open the door to the garage. Sarge was standing on the other side. He sighed when he saw the younger man.
Lightning didn’t have enough time to dodge out of the way before Sarge reached out and slicked his hair back with a hand. Lightning groaned, but didn’t pull away from the man’s touch.
“What have I told ya about not rottin’ away?” Sarge huffed, knocking him on the shoulder lightly. The red-head only sighed, biting his lip. Sarge looked down at him. “Well?”
“To not,” Lightning responded, looking around to see if he recognized any of the cars. What he didn’t expect was to see the fucking Super-Bird parked across the street at Flo’s gas station. His brows shot up and Sarge seemed to notice his sudden shock.
“Yeah, your friend and his uncle are here,” the old man hummed, putting a hand on Lightning’s back to urge him forward. “That boy ain't looking too good. You both outa talk.” Lightning squinted, catching a glimpse of Cal’s blond hair. He was standing next to his uncle in loose shorts and a blue T-Shirt. There wasn’t a Dinoco logo on it though, which made Lightning frown a bit.
“I do not wanna talk to Cal about feelings,” Lightning scrunched his nose up. It's not like he didn’t love his best friend with all his heart. He just knew that if he got Cal talking that the younger blond would probably start crying, which in turn would make Lightning cry. Sarge knocked him on the shoulder.
“Well you oughta cause I'm sure his uncle don’t need him rotting away the same way you are,” Sarge commented, being all too blunt. Lightning cringed, but kept walking. It didn’t take long for them to cross the street. Strip saw him first, placing a hand on Cal’s shoulder and turning the boy towards him. Their eyes met and god, Lightning hated it. He hated how sad Cal looked. He looked exactly how Lightning felt. Broken. Done.
Cal waved at him, smiling gently. Lightning moved towards his friend. Cal pulled him into a hug. “Hey Lightning.” His voice was tired. Lightning hugged him tighter. He missed seeing him. He really did. He missed the way that things used to be. Easier. Lightning eventually pulled away. He looked over at Strip who was watching them with a sad smile.
“How have you been, Lightning?” Strip's voice was older than he remembered. The man’s Southern drawl was thicker than he remembered as well. Lightning smiled at the man, memories rushing back. Strips own crash. Pushing the man over the finish line after Chick Hicks had tried to end his career and potentially his life. So much time has passed since then. So many ups and downs and memories. Him Bobby and Cal running through the tracks on their feet in the middle of the night. All three of their crew chiefs laughing together. That was before Doc had passed. Before everything went to shit.
Lightning didn’t think before he rushed forward and pulled the man into a hug just like he'd done Cal. Strip hadn’t seemed to be expecting it, but he wrapped his hands around the boy anyways.
“Oh. Okay kid. Okay.” Strip hummed, hugging him back tightly. Lightning tried to fight the lump that was forming in his throat, but it was proving to be difficult. Life had just hurt so much lately and seeing Strip reminds him of all the good times that he missed so desperately. He choked around a sob that he muffled into Strip’s shirt. He felt the man stiffen a bit, but rubbing his back gently, his own fatherly instincts coming out. “Alright. That’s okay.” Strip whispered, “Let’s go inside and sit down, huh?” Lightning shook his head into the man’s arms. Strip rubbed his back. “Okay, no inside.” Strip looked over at Cal. “You boys wanna take a drive?”
Lightning hesitated before nodding. Strip slowly pulled back. “Alright. I’ll be here when you get back then.”
What.
Lightning looked at Strip, then over to Cal who looked equally as shocked. Strip didn’t give them much time to protest before walking off. Lightning huffed. Of course. He wiped his eyes, desperately trying to rid himself of the tears that had been forming.
“I- uh, I assumed we’d be crying today, but not already,” Cal joked weakly. Lightning scoffed as he started walking. He didn’t head to the car. He just started walking. Cal eventually fell in pace beside him on the sidewalk. “If it makes you feel any better, half the reason we’re here is cause my uncle ain’t happy with how I’ve been acting lately.” Cal tried to explain, “I’ve been- I’ve been having a rough time.” Lightning could hear how hard Cal was trying to be open and vulnerable for Lightning’s sake. He never really thought about how difficult it was for Cal to be vulnerable. The younger man had talked about his struggle with emotions with him and Bobby once all those years ago. “Of course not as rough of a time as you and your crash. Hell I ain’t even able to imagine how-“
Lightning cut the younger racer, well ex-racer, off, “It’s okay Cal. I get it. Thanks.” Cal nodded slightly, rubbing his hands together awkwardly. They walked in silence for a moment and Lightning realized his feet were carrying him towards the butte. The last place he really wanted to be.
“So I guess it’s been rough for you too?” Cal asked, kicking rocks against the floor as they went. Lightning swallowed his pride.
“Yeah, buddy, it really has,” Lightning admitted. “I miss it all so much. Racing. You guys. Everything.” Cal hummed in acknowledgement.
“I’m sorry about your crash.” Cal whispered, “I’m glad you went down doing what you love at least. You didn’t get sent away like Bobby. Or was a coward like me.” Lightning looked up at his friend and Cal immediately looked away. “I’m not saying the crash was a good thing or anything-“
Lightning cut him off again. “Cal. It’s okay. I know.” He breathed, “I know.” Cal nodded slightly. They walked in silence for a minute more. “You don’t really think you're a coward, do you?” Lightning asked. Cal didn’t answer, which was an answer in itself. Lightning frowned and took a step closer to his friend. Their shoulders brushed. “I never thought you were. Not for a moment, just so we’re clear,” Lightning hummed. Cal again didn’t answer, but Lightning didn’t miss the small flick of a smile on his lips.
“Aunt Lynda says I should go talk to someone. A doctor or something to make all of this-“ he gestured at his head- “feel better. I told her I’m fine, but… yeah.” Cal sighed, looking away. Lightning watched as the younger man’s fingers dug into his pants.
“Seeing someone wouldn’t be a bad thing, you know? Sarge talks about it with me all of the time. Says a lot of the folk in our town had some skeletons in the closet they couldn’t deal with on their own.” Lightning hummed, remembering the conversation he had with the man. “And even though you have people there for you. Your friends. Your family. They may not always know how to help you.” Cal sighed from beside him, nodding slightly. He didn’t say anything though. Lightning let his feet carry him to the butte.
He froze when he got there. The 95 was parked at the edge of the track. Shit. He had forgotten about his fucking car ealier. Him, Luigi and Ramone had come out to test some of the repairs they had made on her. Lightning couldn’t even get in the car. It was humiliating. He shook his head, trying to rid himself of the memory.
“Is that your car?” Cal asked. Lightning paused. Maybe for a moment, he wanted things to be simple again. He smirked.
“No, it's actually my dinner tonight. I was thinking nuts and bolts with a side of dumb hoe,” he looked at Cal. The old teases slipped out of his mouth like a candle lit on fire. He saw Cal’s light up with a spark he hadn’t seen since before the man retired.
“Okay fucker, let’s go take a bite then.” Cal grinned. And Lightning was scared. He was scared to get back in that car. He was scared to ride the passenger seat while Cal drove. Not because he didn’t trust the younger man, but because he was scared that it would change things. That after this moment neither of them could go back to rotting, because they knew they still could be more. He was scared that this was normal. That life could feel normal despite everything.
Yet his legs pulled him towards The #95 after Cal. He slid into the passenger's seat and tossed Cal the keys across the dash. He laughed as Cal jumped when the engine roared to life. When Cal had finally put the petal to the metal, his gear jumped with fear. He was terrified, but he was alive. He looked over at Cal to see a happiness and belonging on the man’s face that he hadn’t seen in so long. A look that he missed. Lightning threw his head back and laughed as they took the turn against the wall. Cal was hollering.
This was everything. This was who he was. He thought about all those times racing around the butte with Doc when the man was still alive. He thought about that last time Doc had driven the Hornet with him. He thinks that Doc knew that time would be the last, looking back on it. The way the man laughed and drove with The #95 beside him. Lightning was still convinced that Doc knew he was dying when he was. He was still convinced that it was the reason the man had tried to cram so much into the very end. Lightning ignited the tears spilling down his face.
He looked over at Cal. His screams of joy had turned into half sobs as he drove and drifted through the dirt. This was Cal’s home as much as it was his. The track was their home. As they lapped the beginning of the butte, Lightning smiled. He closed his eyes. Maybe things would go back to shit tomorrow. Maybe he would be back in his cloud of depression and sadness. Maybe he would struggle to get up and hate the fact that he didn’t die on that track.
But right now he was alive. He was alive with his best friend beside him, sobbing laughing as they drove along the wall for the second time that night.
And he had to make the most of every moment.