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Chapter Text

1

"'rthur, Arthur! ... ARTHUR!" Arthur snaps his head and looks up to Merlin. His servant is struggling with their camping supplies, in the process of hauling them to where a fire was being started by a few of his knights.

They were on a 'hunting trip', or that's what his knights thought. Only him, Sir Leon, and Merlin knew the truth. They were searching for a sorceress, a woman they believe has cursed the King. They need to find her so she can use her magic to free his father of his current...affliction. It was quite humiliating, frankly, so very few knew the truth of his father's predicament. Even Merlin, whom he tells everything (almost everything, his brain helpfully supplied) knew only so much. Sir Leon knows only because he was the fortunate soul to be the one who caught the King in the act.

"Dollophead!!" Arthur heard, followed by the sound of metal and leather crashing onto the ground. Merlin stood meters away, face red and shoulders heaving with his strained breath.

Arthur turned his head again. "I'm sorry, I must've misheard. What did you just call me?" he said it with false venom, a dopey smile forming on his face despite himself.

Merlin's breath rushes out all at once in an aggressive huff. "Only what you are. A dollophead." He said simply. "I swear you are half asleep today! And may I remind you the sun has almost set. I don't see you helping with anything, you useless toad. Come help me carry these over there." Merlin wasted no time in beginning to retrieve the fallen objects on the ground, fully expecting Arthur to help. 

Arthur was vaguely aware of some of the knight's tensed forms as they heard Merlin, a servant, insult and command the crowned prince. He paid them no mind, they would get used to it soon enough.

"You know, last I checked, you were the servant Merlin. This is your job." Despite this, Arthur moves to get up anyways, his smile fond again as he walks over to Merlin. Arthur grabs whatever Merlin shoves into his arms, not even noticing what it is. His eyes are trained on Merlin as he reaches for more things.

"I mean really Arthur, you are an adult. You shouldn't need to be told to be considerate."

"No, of course not."

"You should just offer to help, because you know it is the right thing to do."

"Oh absolutely."

Merlin stands back up, eyes squinting at Arthur, He wasn't sure if this was sarcasm or stupidity. It appeared to be the latter, as Arthur's eyes were unfocused, trained on Merlin's lips. "You are an idiot."

"And you are completely right."

Yes, definitely stupidity. "I want a 75 percent increase in pay."

"I'll get right on that." Arthur's eyes still haven't moved. He watched as Merlin took notice and a beautiful shade of pink tinted the tips of his ears.

"You really are an idiot." Merlin muttered under is breath. He lifted up his free arm and gently flicked Arthur's forehead. That snapped Arthur back into reality again. He coughed awkwardly before turning around and swiftly moving back to the camp. It wasn't until he was in front of his men again that he noticed what Merlin had placed into his arms.

"Fancy yourself some limericks, sire?" Sir Leon spoke up, laughing along with the rest knights as Arthur groaned and dropped the books of poems onto Merlin's bed roll.

Arthur was lying in his bed roll with his eyes closed, hoping to get some sleep that might never come, when he felt a weight settle across his upper thighs.

Arthur's eyes jolted open as he propped himself up onto his elbows, only to see Merlin in front of him. He had a smug, kissable smile on his face. His eyes were practically dripping in lust and sin. "Erm, can I help you, Merlin?" Arthur managed to stutter out.

"Oh no, but I can certainly help you." Merlin's grin widened as he dragged his hand down from Arthur's shoulder to his waist, to between his legs. He shifted his position slightly before he placed his palm on Arthur's growing erection, his hand pressing and releasing slowly. 

"M-merlin, what-?" Merlin only pressed harder. Arthur let out a soft groan, his head rocking back to look into the canopy of trees above them. He could vaguely make out a couple of stars through the tightly woven branches. They were beautiful, and he wanted to focus on them, but he couldn't. Arthur shut his eyes tightly, biting his lip and trying to gather the courage to stop this.

"Stop that, sire. We wouldn't want to bruise these precious lips of yours, would we?" One of Merlin's fingers gently pulled his lip from beneath his teeth. He was so close. Arthur could feel his breath warming his skin. It was almost as labored as Arthur's own. Merlin dipped his head into Arthur's neck, leaving a ghosting trail of his lips down to the top of Arthur's sternum. They felt wonderful, but they weren't where Arthur really wanted them. 

Merlin glanced up at him, mischief dancing in his irises. "Is this alright, sire?" Now his hand was making it's way under Arthur's trousers. Arthur swallowed dryly. 

" Well, is it alright, sire? Sire? SIRE!" Arthur shot up, looking around frantically, his hand quickly gravitating towards where is sword was placed beside him. As he reached over his eyes made contact with Merlin, who was peacefully asleep a few feet from him. He shot his eyes up to who woke him. It was Sir Andry, one of the new recruits that had finished training only last month. He was young, fresh, shy. He was nervous.

"I'm sorry to bother you, your highness. It's your turn for watch." Arthur nodded, just now remembering where he was.

'It was only a dream, you idiot.' He chided himself. He placed his head in his hands, his fingers reaching up and digging into his hairline. The 'evidence' of his dream was very much still awake. Much more awake than himself.

"Thank you, Sir Andry. You're dismissed. Get yourself some sleep." The kid bowed gratefully. 

"Of course. Thank you, sire." He hesitated for a second, glancing at the prince before shaking his head and making his way to the other side of camp where his own bed roll waited for him.

Arthur stood up, grabbing his sword and belt. He gave one small glance toward Merlin's sleeping form. He looked so peaceful like this. 

Arthur patrolled around the camp's perimeters for a while, attentive of his surroundings but also deep in thought.

His feelings for Merlin had bloomed abruptly last year. One moment, he had nothing but normal, platonic, friendly thoughts for his manservant. Hell, he hadn't even liked boys back then. But somehow along the 4 years they have known each other, Merlin wedged himself into Arthur's head, his heart. Into his very soul.

He can't not think about Merlin anymore. He consumes his waking hours as well as his dreams. The shine of his eyes, the twist of his smile, the wit of his comebacks. The way his clothes rest on his body, the way his hips move as he walks, the way his body unconsciously moves to face Arthur wherever he is. His loyalty, his humor, everything about him. There was nothing particularly sensual about any of this, yet Arthur was in love with all of it.

Arthur was yet again broken out of his thoughts by a branch snapping to his right. He drew his sword quickly, turning to face into the night. Suddenly, a woman stumbled into his view. Blood matted her red hair, and her hands were cuffed into cold iron chains. She looked right at Arthur, her eyes crazed. She was relieved for a split second before recognizing who she was staring at. Fear shrouded her once again. It was only then that Arthur recognized her as well. This was the woman seen fleeing Uther's chambers, who they had suspected of cursing his father.

"Oh you've got to be kidding me." She yelled. Arthur was thinking the same thing, although on a more joyous note. The very woman they had been searching for fell right into their camp, badly beaten and already chained. He couldn't believe it.

"What is your name?" Arthur asked sharply. His face was stern and his sword now pointed at her neck.

The woman gave a defeated sigh. "It's Basina." She muttered. Her whole body was shaking as she slowly lowered herself onto her knees. She stared up at him, her expression now turned into one of rage. He watched as her eyes flickered between his own and his sword, which was still trained on her.

"Well, Basina. Where are you coming from? And why did you attack my father?" Her face broke into an amused grin. 

"I'd hardly call it an attack, it was mostly for fun. Let's call it some... light-hearted revenge." She snorted. "It was for my people." Those last words dropped her smile and cast a shadow over her face.

"I'm a druid. I was returning home to our settlement when I was captured by slavers. That's how I got these." She spit, hands raising slightly to jerk on her chains. They were connected to two domes which completely encased her hands. There was a latch on the outside, making them rather easy to remove for anyone who wasn't wearing them. "They're rather painful, you know. I don't suppose you would remove them."

"I don't supposed you would willingly fix my father."

"Well I can't fix anything with these on, can I?"

Arthur sighed, lowering his sword slightly. He wanted her to trust him, but he kept his guard up.

"If I take you back to Camelot, and then and only then take those off, will you fix him?" He asked.

"And how can I be assured you won't immediately have me arrested and executed after. Or that your father won't, for that matter."  She raised a fair point.

"We will just have to trust each other won't we. That you won't kill him, and I won't kill you."

"I'd never trust a Pendragon. And I don't believe you or your father would ever trust someone with magic." 

Arthur was quiet for a moment. "I will deal with my father, for your escape. I will lie to him, say we killed you and that's how the curse broke. He won't go searching for you that way. And trust me, Basina, when I tell you this. I am less like my father than anyone would like to think." This earned him a shocked look on her face.

"I do not trust you, but I don't think you'll let me go otherwise." Sighing in resignation, Basina raised herself back onto her feet. She closed her eyes for a moment, face scrunched in concentration. When they opened, here eyes were fading from a golden orange to their usual light brown. 

"I've notified my people of a change in plans. They were headed to save me from the slavers, but stupidly I saw an out and decided to take it. They are still days away." She stepped closer to Arthur, his body tensing slightly. But she did not harm him. "We are a peaceful people, Arthur Pendragon. But if you do not fulfill our deal and return me, I promise you will regret it. In some way or another. Think of this as insurance."

Arthur released a breath and nodded. "Come with me, then." He grabbed the chain connecting her hands and led her to a tree near his end of the camp. He grabbed some spare rope from a sack, tying her tight enough so she can't escape, but not tight enough to hurt. "For insurance," he smiled down at her. "We leave at first light. It will just be us and my manservant. Try and get some sleep."

"That's unlikely."

"Try anyways." With that, Arthur stood up and made his way over to Sir Leon's bedroll and woke him.

"Sire?" Leon mumbled, sitting up alert and rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"I found the sorceress. Merlin and I will return with her so she can fix my father. Ask no questions about this ever. Everything will be dealt with. Lie to the other knights. Say I was sick and Merlin left with me to Camelot so I can get to Gaius. Keep them out here until midday tomorrow. Understand?"

Leon didn't really, but he nodded anyway. "Of course, sire."

"Thank you. It's your watch. I am going to inform Merlin of the situation. If we aren't already, please wake us by first light. Basina is tied to a tree by our bedrolls, stay clear of her. She is chained but still dangerous."

Leon looked like he wanted to ask more questions, but thought better of it. "Yes, sire." With that he rose to his feet and walked off to patrol.

Arthur then made his way over to Merlin to wake him up. "Hey!" he poked his shoulder. Merlin groaned and turned to face away from Arthur. "Hey! Clotpole!" Arthur knew this would get a reaction out of him.

"That's my word," Merlin whispered.

"We have been through this, it suits you perfectly."

"Of course, my lord. What do you need?" Merlin turned back around, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. It was adorable. Arthur informed Merlin of the situation and their plan. It was not without concerned looks and comments thrown his way by the man, but Arthur was able to convince him to trust Basina enough.

Arthur and Basina were sharing a horse, while Merlin rode close by on his own. They were almost to the citadel, the top of the castle now in their view. Arthur directed their course away from the front entrance, around to a secret side tunnel from the back. This would be the only way to sneak Basina in and out in broad daylight. Once she knew about it, Arthur would need to come up with a reason for them to seal it off, but his father's life was at stake.

Arthur pulled up a hood over Basina's face. "Keep your head down if you want to remain unnoticed," he whispered.

They finally reached the hidden door. Arthur slid off his mare, carefully helping Basina down afterwards. He glanced up at Merlin. "Tie her up somewhere close, and then make yourself scarce. Don't let people see you enter through the castle, use the servant halls if you need to. I want to meet you in my chambers in an hour. If I am not there by then, something went wrong and I need you to send word to Leon. Alright?" The look of concern did not leave Merlin's face, but he nodded anyways. Arthur's face softened at this.

"Don't be such a worry-wart Merlin, everything will go smoothly. I will see you in an hour." He smiled at his servant, before turning to Basina and leading her into the tunnel. 

"You're very sweet to him, you know." Basina said gleefully.

"Hmm?" Arthur hummed.

"Your servant, who else. Merlin, was it? Can't blame you, he is awfully pretty."

Arthur sputtered. "It is nothing like that! Come on, this way." He grabbed her chains tighter, directing them further into the castle.

"Whatever you sayyy," she sing-songed. Arthur ignored her.

A few minutes of silence pass. "Alright," Arthur starts. "We are about to enter the main portion of the castle. keep your head down, and remain quiet, do you understand?"

"Perfectly."

"Great. My father's chambers aren't far from here. When we reach it I will distract the guards, you knock them out."

They walk into the light, moving swiftly and undetected through the halls. Once they reach his father's room, he had Basina hide around the nearest corner.

Arthur walks up to the guards, nodding slightly. He strikes up a small conversation, asking about his father and turning their direction away from the door. He gives Basina the signal, and watches her stealthily run up and clank the guards over their heads with her cuffs. They watch them fall not-so-gracefully onto the floor in heaps of limbs and metal.

"I suppose I will feel bad about that later," Arthur muses.

"I won't" Arthur glares at her. She only smiles and then motions to her cuffs. Arthur wordlessly moves forward, flipping the latches and watching them slide off of here hands. She smiles genuinely for maybe the first time, grateful to be freed. 

"Alright we have around ten more minutes until a patrol comes around and sees them, so we better make this quick. You ready?" He asks. Arthur certainly was not. Basina grinned, failing to stifle a small giggle and nodded.

Arthur opened the chamber doors, and they rushed in quickly before he closed them. There, by his window, was his father, in the same humiliating position they had to leave him in. The King stood there, eyes hollow, staring into nothing with his trousers pooled at his ankles on the floor. He was restlessly rutting his hips into a makeshift doll replica of a sow. It was disgusting, and it was humiliating. And worst of all, somewhere deep in his chest, Arthur felt like he mildly deserved it. He turned away from the scene, waving his hand at Basina to get on with it.

"Just, do your thing. Please."

She walked over to the King and pressed a hand up to his temple. She closed her eyes, whispering a simple spell, and the king collapsed unconscious to the floor. Arthur ran to catch him.

"That was all?" he asks. Basina raised an eyebrow.

"I'm sorry, did you want there to be more?"

"No! No, that's alright." He moved his father from the floor to his bed, changing his clothes for him. When he was finished, he was surprised to see Basina still there, watching him carefully.

"You are a better man than your father, Arthur Pendragon. Stay that way, and you won't end up like this."

Arthur gulped. "I'll take care of the guards, and the cuffs. Go, now. Before it is too late. You remember the way back?" She nodded. "Good. Merlin has that horse waiting for you. Take it, and..take that thing with you."

"Oh, no thank you!" Basina laughed before flickering her hands to the doll. Arthur watched it disappear before his eyes. "Well, until we meet again." Basina bowed clumsily before running off into the hall. Arthur glanced at his father, now asleep and hopefully no memories of the last two days, before making his way out the door as well. 

The two guards were coming to just as a patrol group rounded the corner.

"My, have you two been on the cider. It's the afternoon, why are you asleep" Arthur asked, false ire in his voice. The guards looked at each other, confused, and Arthur took this chance to swipe the cuffs from the floor and held them with a hand behind his back, out of view. The guards that were walking by were obviously attempting to hide their amusement as they passed by the door and around the same corner Basina hopefully disappeared down. Arthur couldn't help but hope she made it out safely.

The two guards were now back on their feet, at attention but still very confused. "You are off in an hour, I expect you in your quarters resting, not in the tavern." Arthur scolded. They nodded quickly. Arthur gave them one last look of disapproval before making his way to the armory, dropping off the cuffs and then walking to his own chambers.

He opened the doors to find Merlin twisting his hands together, pacing back and forth around the room. His head snapped up to Arthur, and his shoulders visibly sagged in relief at seeing his prince unharmed. They shared a small smile, nodding to each other before going back to their business.

Now relaxed, Merlin returned to his duties, flitting about the room and tidying it up. Arthur smiled at him, making his way to his own desk to pretend to read some reports. He sat in his chair, staring into empty space, thinking about the very man running about his chambers.

Chapter Text

2

"Right, come on, up you get Arthur." Arthur groaned into his pillow. It was way too early.

"It's way too early, Merls." The name slipped out, and it caught Merlin off guard equally as much as Arthur. They both paused, Arthur now very awake. He sat up quickly. "I'm up," he announced. Merlin nodded, helping him into his day clothes.

The tension in the air could've been cut by Excalibur. Merlin continued his morning chores while Arthur picked at his breakfast. There was a lot on his mind now. 'A lot' being Merlin, of course. Because when wasn't it. That gave Arthur a little chuckle. 

Merlin's eyes glanced over at the sound. He walked over, leaning over the table and into Arthur's view. "What's so funny?" he demanded.

Arthur coughed. "Nothing. Just, you are doing it wrong." That was the first thing that came to his mind.

"I'm.. doing what, wrong, exactly." Merlin pressed for an answer. Arthur glanced around, looking for one, seeing the clothes in Merlin's hands first. "That," he said, motioning to the garments.

Merlin looked down, before looking back into Arthur's eyes, one eyebrow arched perfectly. 'He got that from Gaius.'

"Please tell me, sire, how I am putting clothes into a basket wrong?" That was when Arthur noticed the basket, not far from where Merlin was previously standing, filled with some of his laundry that was strewn about the room. Well, fuck. 

"I don't want them in that basket."

"What basket do you want them in?" Arthur looked around, pointing to a box laying halfway from under his bed.

"That's your chamber pot."

"Not that, you idiot!" Arthur got up, walking over to the basket and pulling it out, only to immediately shove it back far under the bed with his foot. "Ehem, nevermind. Carry on, Merlin." Arthur smiles, hoping that would be the end of it. Of course, Merlin didn't listen. He never does, and if he did, Arthur probably wouldn't like him that much. At this moment, Arthur likes him very little. He drops the clothes across one of Arthur's chairs, before stalking his way over to Arthur. 

Arthur chuckles nervously. he put his hands up defensively. "See, now, you are very much in my bubble, Merlin. I'd like you to-"

"Oh, shut it. That's a silly boundary thing Gaius taught some kids in the town and we both know it. I'm the one who told you."

"I am going to tell a trusted adult."

"Arthur." Merlin deadpanned. Arthur's shoulders slumped. 

"I, I can't show you Merlin." He looked up at Merlin in earnest, hoping the idiot would take this seriously. But when is Merlin ever serious.

"Fine, I will just find out myself." Merlin walked away. Arthur was confused, until he saw Merlin rounding the other side of his bed. Then, he dropped to the floor, and began shuffling under.

"Merlin!" Arthur shouted before he did the same on his own side, desperate to reach the box before Merlin did. He made eye contact with Merlin under the bed, sliding his way over as quickly as possible. But it was too late, and Merlin's head start was too great.

Merlin yanked the box and retreated back to his side, rifling through the box as Arthur back-tracked to his side. "Merlin, please stop!" he yelled desperately, but it was pointless.

Once he was out from under the bed, Arthur wasted no time climbing over his bed and to Merlin. When he finally made it, he was stood over Merlin's form, sitting on the floor, the contents of the box emptied out before him. 

"Arthur," he said softly. This was exactly what he didn't want. Pity. He sank to his knees, angrily picking up everything off the floor. There was a leather-bound book, a journal. It had a few loose pieces of paper sticking out; one had fallen and was open in Merlin's hands. They were from his mother. A few pieces of jewelry. A lock of golden hair, tied and preserved. And last but not least, his mother's sigil. He takes it with him whenever he has to leave the city. It helps him feel safe. 

Arthur didn't notice the tightness of his throat. He didn't notice the prickle of tears behind his eyes. He didn't hear the sob coming from his mouth. He noticed none of this until Merlin had gathered him and held him gently in his arms. Arthur barely remembered the last time he had cried in someone else's presence. It was humiliating, but he couldn't make himself from leaving Merlin's hold. It was comfort he never knew he needed.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Arthur, I didn't know. I thought it was something silly, embarrassing. I'm sorry I didn't know." Merlin held him tighter, fingers brushing smoothly over Arthur's head. They sat like that for some time, until the tears stopped flowing. Arthur sniffled as he sat up, pulling the box closer to himself. He gazed over the items, all he had left of his mother. Ygraine had written him notes throughout her pregnancy. She had a feeling she wouldn't survive his birth, but she went through it anyways.

Arthur knew the truth about his birth, about magic. The reason why Uther started the Purge. Ygraine told him all of it. She wrote it all in that book, and what she could not fit she wrote on notes, sprayed with her perfume and tucked into the pages. It was hidden with her hand-maiden and only given to Arthur when he was twelve. 

Arthur dragged his hands over his face before he took the box and slid it gently back under his bed. Merlin stood up and put his hand on his shoulder. He hadn't seen everything, what Ygraine told him about magic. And Arthur wanted to keep it that way. No one could know, including Merlin. He was loyal, but to what end. Maybe all of them, but Arthur couldn't take any risks, not until he was King.

"Are you alright, Arthur?"

"Peachy."

"I am serious."

"So am I. You saw none of this."

"Okay." Arthur finally looked at Merlin and saw the guilt on his face. The tension drains from his shoulder, and his features softened as he looked at his servant. He looked at his lips, his eyes always drawn there. He shook himself out of it quickly. Now was not the time. 

"We are alright Merlin. I forgive you." He said gently, taking Merlin's hand into his own. Merlin brightened up at that. He nodded, squeezing Arthur's hand once before he let go. He moved back over to the dining table, grabbing Arthur's clothes, and heading back towards the basket that started all of this. 

"You have a council meeting to attend to sire. You should leave soon." Merlin reminded him. 

"Of course. right, of course. You'll be there, right? To save me from boredom." Arthur asked, a cheeky grin adorning his face. Arthur pretended like he was kidding, but he knew it was more than that. 

Merlin grinned back. "Well, I don't know sire, I am a little held back from my chores this morning." Arthur visibly deflated, and Merlin seemed to realize he wasn't joking about wanting him there.

"I'll try my best, sire." Merlin said. 

"Okay." Arthur said, refusing to look at Merlin. Refusing to admit he needed him. But again, they both knew the truth. He took a swig of his drink that was lying forgotten on the table. "Well I'll be leaving now."

Merlin smiled at him before going back to his chores. Arthur made his way to the door, opening it before turning back to Merlin. He was especially beautiful bathed in the sunlight shining in through his window. It cascaded over his body, leaving the edges of his frame glowing.

"Merlin?" Arthur called. Merlin turned to him. "Thank you." Arthur left before he could see his response.

Arthur walked into the council room, nodding at those already present before taking his own seat with his father at the head of the table. Uther barely acknowledged him, simply running through the stack of papers in front of himself and making a few notes here and there. He slid Arthur's own stack over to his son, not looking up from his work. Arthur reluctantly grabbed them, looking through a couple pages before they began to give him a head ache. He let out a huff of hair before leaning back in his seat, staring at the sky through the windows. He hoped Merlin would be here soon.

Still not looking up from his papers, Uther called for his son's attention. "Arthur."

Arthur cleared his throat. "Yes, father?"

"Will your servant be joining us."

"Perhaps later, father. He is occupied else where at the moment."

"Shame, I was hoping to get his opinion on something." That caught Arthur's attention. He sat up straighter, leaning over to get a better look at his father.

"You want a servant's opinion? On what?" 

"No matter, he is not here."

"Father-" 

"Alright, so now that everyone is here..." Uther's voice faded out in Arthur's head. He sat back again, looking at his father, very confused. 

It was barely 15 minutes in, and Arthur was, as expected, bored out of his mind. His feet were now kicked up onto the table (which had earned a very disapproving look from hid father) and he was idly twirling a quill in between his fingers. Should he be taking notes. Maybe, sure. But daydreaming was much more entertaining. Especially since the object of his dreams was not present at the moment, like he had hoped.

In his head, Merlin and him were in a tavern.

-It was storming outside. They had been on a hunting trip but they strayed too far for too long, and needed to shack up somewhere for the night. Oh no. There was only one free room. With one bed. That was a shame-

Arthur grinned to himself. These little stories were so much fun. Plus, it didn't harm anyone. Thoughts were only thoughts after all. He glanced around the room of nobles conversing, and made sure no one needed his input before he continued.

-They walked into the room. Only one bed, as expected. Merlin and Arthur glanced at each other, choosing not to speak of it yet. They turned their backs to each other, changing into some fresh clothes for sleep that weren't dripping in water. Fortuitous that Merlin packed extra clothes for a one day trip.

"Right, well. I am gonna hit the hay." Arthur stretched. "Come on, Merlin, we need our rest.

"And where am I supposed to sleep?" Merlin asked.

Arthur smirked. "On the bed, dummy."

"And where are you to sleep?"

"...on the bed." Merlin's eyes widened slightly, but he didn't question it.

They walked over, getting into their respective sides of the bed. Arthur on the left, as always. They laid there in silence, staring at the ceiling. They listened to each other's heavy breathing blending in with the patter of rain outside. The quiet built tension kept growing. It was only a matter of time until one of them snapped.

"Arth-" "Merl-" they turned to each other at the same time. They both giggled quietly. "You go first," Arthur whispered.

"It's just, are you thinking what I am thinking." 

"I think so." They smiled at each other. Arthur began leaning over to Merlin's side of the bed, his eyes closing and-

"Arthur!" Uther yelled. Arthur sat up straight, yanking his feet off the table, eyes widened at attention. 'Fuck, it was just getting good,' he thought.

"Yes, sire." he said tentatively, glancing over to his father. 

"Sir Aldred has asked you a question. It would do you well to listen," he seethed, barely concealed anger slipping through his lips.

"Right, of course, father." He glanced over to Sir Aldred. He was an ugly, porous man to be honest. His skin looked like a particularly gnarled lemon. "May you repeat the question, Sir Aldred?"

"Yes, Arthur.." and then he went on and on about grain reports. It is always stupid grain reports. Arthur answered to the best of his ability. Finally the attention moved on from him, and he could return to his mind. He glanced up to the ceiling again, hoping Merlin would arrive soon. Boredom had reached a new level, and he was an impatient man, sick of waiting. Now, where was he.

"It's just, are you thinking what I am thinking." 

"I think so." They smiled at each other. Arthur began leaning over to Merlin's side of the bed, his eyes closing just as his lips pressed softly against Merlin's. Fuck it felt so good. They moved together in tandem, slotting their lips together.

Arthur nibbled on Merlin's top lip, causing Merlin to let out a soft moan. Arthur swallowed it, moving his hips closer to Merlin's. It wasn't enough. He reached over to grab under Merlin's side, and rolled him over on top of him. They continued like this for some time, kissing softly and moving their hips together. Arthur could feel Merlin against him, equally aroused as himself. He rolled his hips again, grinding their lengths together. Merlin couldn't help but pull back from their kiss, moaning into the air and grunting before he sat all the way up. He kept the movement of their hips going as he reached down to pull his shirt up. 

Arthur growled seeing Merlin's beautiful, unmarked skin. Fuck he was so pretty. He moved his hands to Merlin's hips, helping to guide him along the movement. His release was building way too quickly for his liking. They needed to slow down. They needed to-

A door slammed open, snapping Arthur back to reality. He was now considerably harder under his trousers. 'This was not the moment for interruptions,' Arthur grumbled in his head. That was until he looked to the door to see Merlin eagerly making his way over to Arthur, politely bowing in apology on his way. Arthur visibly perked up, seeming much more delighted now that his servant was at his rightful place by his side. Or, behind him, but close enough to his side.

Arthur risked a glance back to Merlin, who returned it with a smile and a short nod. The rest of the council meeting passed much more smoothly after that. When it was finally over, Arthur stood up abruptly. He stretched his joints, before looking to Merlin and motioning for him to join him. He began to make his way out the room, when they were stopped by Uther.

"Not you, Merlin. You stay." The rest of the nobles and servants quickly shuffled out the room at the sound of Uther's tone. It left only the three of them and the guards.

"Father?" Arthur questioned, turning to look at him. Merlin seemed to have tensed up tremendously.

"You are dismissed Arthur. I only need to speak with Merlin."

"But-" 

"You are dismissed!" It was final. Arthur gave Merlin a small supportive look, before leaving the room. The guards closed it behind him, leaving Merlin and Uther alone together. This was not good, this could not be good, this wasn't-

Arthur carried on like that, head filled with anxiety as he paced up and down and around the hall. He had to make an effort to stop himself from chewing on his nails multiple times. After what felt like hours of more intense waiting, the doors finally opened to reveal Merlin, unharmed but definitely paler than when Arthur had left him.

He said nothing but motioned for Arthur to follow him. He did so, quietly. It wasn't long until he realized Merlin was leading back to his own chambers. Once they were inside and the doors were locked, Arthur rushed to him. 

"Are you okay? What did he say? What did he want?" Arthur gripped his shoulders, looking to Merlin for answers.

"I'm not supposed to say, Arthur. But I am fine." He gave Arthur a small, reassuring smile. Arthur did not feel reassured, not at all.

"Please, just give me a hint. Please!"

"He just wanted to know about you. Arthur." 

"What about me?!" Arthur demanded.

"He is worried, Arthur. He says you keep spacing out. And he isn't wrong.  I told him not to worry, that you have a lot on your mind and that you will go to him when you are ready." Merlin grinned then. "May or may not have insinuated that it was a girl."

"Merlin!" he shouted. He was shocked, but he couldn't bring himself to be mad when he looked at Merlin's smile. He seemed quite proud of himself. If only he knew he couldn't have been farther from the truth.

Chapter Text

3

Of course, among everything else, the first winter of Arthur's reign would see the first and arguably worst blizzard Camelot's had in decades. The lower town has been completely smothered in snow, it's residents shacked up in the empty rooms and halls of the castle. Arthur and his staff were doing their best to accommodate, but they were running out of food and supplies. The winter came earlier than normal, and the outlying farms hadn't yet supplied their harvest to the citadel. Today marks a fortnight now with everyone cooped up in the castle, and people were reaching a breaking point. Merlin worst of all.

Merlin's heart was too big for his own good. He wanted to help everyone. It was touching as much as it was concerning to see him stretch himself so thin. He wasn't looking after himself, and that much was apparent. Arthur could see it, and so could all of their friends. 

"Arthur," Gwen knocked gently on the open doors, peering in to see Arthur at his desk, staring at the records of their vastly dwindling food stores. He looked up, eyes tired but still kind. He smiled softly when he saw her. Despite the failed romance between them years ago, Arthur still loved her. She was the sister he wished he had, that he wished Morgana could have been. Just seeing her eased some of the weight on his shoulders. 

"Yes, come in Guinenvere," he spoke softly. She walked over to his desk, graceful as always until she reached him. She walked around to his side of the desk, placing a hand on his shoulder. She squeezed it lightly, grabbing the papers from Arthur and looking over them herself. He watched her in awe, her face concentrated as she flicked between the reports. He admired her attempt to help, but he had been over these a million times himself. He knew how dire the situation was. They only had a couple of days worth of provisions at most. The grain tower was all that was left, and it was disappearing fast. Until the storm passed, they had no way to get more foo-

"What about the cellar, by the dungeons. I mean the food there is saved for prisoners, normally, but we don't have any right now. We can use that for another week at least, and restock when the weather calms." Arthur stares at her, impressed and dumbfounded that he hadn't thought of it. He grins up at Gwen. 

"I can't believe I missed that. Thank you, Guinevere. Really." He blows out a laugh, feeling a small sense of relief for the first time in days.

"It was nothing really." Humble Gwen as always. But really, she would have made a wonderful Queen. 'Maybe in another life, where you aren't in love with your manservant.' he huffed, He doubted such a world existed. 

Gwen spoke up after a moment of silence. "I actually came to speak with you about something, sire."  This caught his attention. She rarely asked for help with anything if it wasn't serious.

"What is it? You know I'll help wherever I can, Gwen. What do you need?"

"It isn't about me. It's about.. Merlin." Arthur leaned back in his chair. He had a feeling he knew what this was about. Nevertheless, he nodded at Gwen, urging her to continue. "Me and a few others have noticed. Arthur, he is working himself to death. He nearly fell down a flight of stairs this morning. He needs a break."

"I have released him from his duties to me so he can help Gaius take care of the people."

"That has only made it worse. At least you keep an eye on him when he is with you. He disappears from Gaius all the time, and no offense to Gaius, but he is old. He can't stop Merlin when he is set on something. You know how stubborn Merlin is."

"I do, so I also know there isn't much I can do to help."

"You can! Arthur!" Gwen stared into his eyes. "Listen to me when I say you are the only one who can." Arthur looked down, and sighed.

"I have tried telling him to slow down. He didn't listen to me."

"Arthur. You need to make him." Arthur's eyes were still fixed in his lap, body tense and unsure. "Look at me, sire." He finally looked up from where he was fiddling with his fingers. She had leaned down to look him in his eyes more equally. "He cares for you, like you do for him, you know." She smiles knowingly.

"How did yo-"

'The both of you are sickeningly obvious," Gwen interrupts. "Doesn't take a genius. So I mean it when I say that you can help him."

"I doubt he returns my...my feelings."

"If you choose not to see it, that is your decision. But might I add it's a stupid one."

"GWEN-" She giggled, before standing back up with a sigh.

"Go to him, Arthur, or others are going to come bother you. And they aren't as nice as I am." She winked at him before leaving his chambers, doors open just as they were when she came in. 

Arthur chuckled and shook his head before getting up as well. Guess he had to find Merlin.

But first, he looked to the guards standing outside of his room. "Please send orders to Lord Cyr to record, retrieve, and distribute the rations in the dungeon cellar to the people." The one on the left gave a short nod before turning sharply and marching down the hall. He then turned the other way, going to the dining hall to search for Merlin.

Arthur walked along the halls, stopping to help anyone he saw on the way, directing them to where they could receive more clothes or food. He rounded a corner, stopping abruptly when he ran head first into his favorite knight.

"I was just looking for you princess." Gwaine grinned, leaning into the side of the wall and effectively blocking Arthur's path. Arthur had a feeling this was coming, but he indulged him anyway. "We got a bone to pick about a certain-

"I am going to find Merlin as we speak. Do you already know where he is, or do you just plan on wasting my time?" Arthur smirked at Gwaine's expression, jaw slacked and eyes wide. It was rare anyone had the ability to shut Gwaine up. Of course, it didn't last long. 

"Ahh, so Gwen got to you first. Well that's a shame. Your boyfriend's in the north tower, running up and down like a maniac grabbing warmed blankets for people. You should hurry before he falls again." Gwaine's tone turned serious at the end.

"Got it. That was.. surprisingly helpful, Gwaine. Also, Merlin isn't my boyfriend."

"Then how did you know who I was referring to." And we are back to being irritating. 

"Because we were already-" Arthur lowered his voice. Shouting at Gwaine wouldn't solve anything. He took a deep breath, like Merlin practiced with him, before continuing in a more evened tone. "Does everyone know about this?" He asks, tentatively. 

"About your's and Merlin's deep homosexual feelings for each other? Everyone but you two have known for years." 

"Don't!" Arthur glanced around to make sure they were alone, before he stepped closer to Gwaine. much quieter this time, he continued, "Don't call it that. And just mine, my.....feelings. Not Merlin's."

"So the stupidity continues." Arthur lightly quips the side of Gwaine's head with his gloved hand. Arthur was very tired of being called stupid. Only Merlin had that right.

"You can't speak to your King like that, Sir Gwaine." 

"You aren't a King, you're a princess, Princess. An oblivious one."

"You can't talk to princesses like that either, Gwaine. But I-" 

"So you admit you are a princess." Arthur was also getting sick of being interrupted. 

"You didn't let me finish, Gwaine. I don't have time for this, I need to find Merlin. If you don't move, you are cleaning out the whole castle's latrines when this storm passes. For a month." Gwaine finally stands up straight, stepping to the side to move out of Arthur's way. 

"Calm down, Princess." He grins. "Carry on, I won't stop you. But seriously, make sure Merls gets off his feet. We are all worried about him, all the knights."

Arthur nods. "Me too. I got him, or I'll get him. He'll be okay." Gwaine nods back, before continuing down the opposite way. It was only when Arthur looked back that he noticed him carrying an ivory token box behind his back. It was beautiful, one that was obviously made to hold a courting gift. Arthur smirk, he would make sure to tease him about that later.

It didn't take long for Arthur to find Merlin once he reached the north-side tower. He heard a pattern of hastened footsteps making their way up the winding stairwell. More of his citizen's were practically hugging the walls, bundled in fleece and trying to sleep. He didn't blame them, this weather was enough to sap out anyone's energy. And Merlin was not as immune to this as he would like to think. Careful not to step on any outstretched legs, Arthur made his way up the steps, close to where he could hear the faint whisper of Merlin talking to someone.

Arthur was around three fourths up the way when he saw him. Merlin was slouched over a young woman and her child, gently pouring water into her mouth. She appeared too weak to do it herself, likely suffering from hypothermia. "It should be warmer up hear, ma'am. There are a lot of bodies packed in this space, you should all warm each other up, hm?" He was yet to notice Arthur standing a few paces below him. Arthur watched as he handed the water skin to the boy, making sure he had it clasped in his hands. "You take care of her, and come find me or the Court Physician if she gets worse. You are strong, you got this. I'll be back to check on you before nightfall." The small boy peered up at him, nodding his head shyly. He couldn't have been more then five summers old. Merlin smiled gently as he ruffled the boys hair. He ensured both of them were warm and able to rest before turning to make his way back down the steps. That was when Arthur saw his face.

Merlin's figure was pale and thin, thinner than normal. He had gained some lean muscle over the course of his work for Arthur, but that seemed to have all but disappeared. His cheeks were more hollow, his eyes sunken with light purple circles kissing just under them. His frame seemed to rattle with every breath he took, but still he was here, trying to help people. 'Why must you do this to yourself?' Arthur sighed. His heart breaks everytime Merlin pushes himself like this. And it was far too often to count now.

Merlin, somehow, had not seen Arthur yet. His gaze was cast downward, trying not to trip over any bodies again. He stumbled his way to the wall, clinging to it as he made is descent. Arthur had enough. "Merlin, what are you doing?" Merlin shot his head up, body freezing in place. The sudden movement caused him to lose his balance, and Merlin tripped over a step or two before landing in Arthur's arms. Arthur had rushed to catch him the second he saw him wavering. "Right, you're coming with me."

"I'm not going anywhere with you, sire. Last I checked, you dismissed me." It seemed a struggle for Merlin to get the words out. His lips were chapped and his muscles tired. His jaw is barely moving enough to allow the words out. 

"Well I have another job for you, so I need you back. It will be really quick."

"Gaius needs me." Despite his protests, Merlin allowed Arthur to guide him down the stairwell.

"Gaius has managed just fine alone while you run around the castle grounds, doing God knows what for the last two days. Have you even gotten some sleep?" The prolonged silence was enough of an answer for Arthur.

"I think my eyes closed for a second. Sometime yesterday."

"That's what I thought. You are gonna get some actual rest, after you do this quick job for me." Merlin scowled at him, but made no further comment as they walked back to Arthur's chambers. Arthur made sure to keep a steady hand on his lower back in case his legs grew weak again. 

Arthur led Merlin inside his chambers, setting him down at one of the chairs by his fireplace, which was already lit and had a medium fire going. "You stay here, I'll be right back... with your job." Merlin nodded, waving a hand at Arthur and sinking into the chair. It wouldn't surprise Arthur if this was the first time he has sat down in the last couple of days. 

Arthur made his way over to the guards. "I want you both to ensure Merlin does not leave this room. Pass along the information during rotation. This is of the utmost importance."

"Yes, sire!" They exclaimed in unison. Satisfied, Arthur nodded before turning back into his room, closing and locking the doors behind him. He strode over to his dining table, where a pot of 'soup' was waiting for him. Calling it soup was generous. It was some form of animal stock with a sprig of mint floating in the middle. But it was warm, and it would help Merlin. That's all that mattered. Arthur quietly portioned some broth into the provided bowl, placed it on a tray and carried it over to where Merlin was still slumped down in his chair. 'Merlin's chair,' he thought warmly. It just made sense for Merlin to have his own spot in Arthur's space.

"Here, your job, Merlin." Merlin groaned as he forced himself to sit up, fully expecting Arthur to hand him armor to polish. He was lightly taken aback by the tray being placed in his hands. It felt warm to the touch, a welcome difference between the freezing ache that had settled in his fingers. 

"Arthur," Merlin's voice wavered, trying hard not to let a smile slip. "Arthur this is broth. What job am I to do with this?"

"Eat it, Merlin."

"Arthur, eating isn't a job."

"Your job is to service me, make my life easier. There was too much soup, it felt too daunting. My life would feel much less inconvenienced if you would take care of the soup for me. By eating it." 

"Arthur, that makes no sense."

"It makes perfect sense to me."

"Arthur, you cannot force me to eat this."

"Sure I can."

"How so?"

"Eat it." Arthur poked Merlin once in the shoulder. 

"Arthur, no."

"Eat it." Arthur poked him again.

"Arthur this is ridiculous." Merlin's smile was stretched across his face now, unable to be contained.

"Eat it. Eat it. Eat it. Eat it." Every sentence followed by a small poke to Merlin's shoulder.

"Arthur!" Merlin couldn't stop laughing now. A fond smile was formed on Arthur's face as well.

"Eat it. Eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it eat it-"

"God, alright! Stop poking me!"

 Arthur stood back, satisfaction plastered all over his face. Merlin glared up at Arthur, but they both knew it was false. Merlin took a deep breath before slowly lifting a spoon full of broth into his mouth. He took slow sips, continuing until half of the bowl was gone before he spoke up again.

"You are really childish, for a King. You know that?"

"Well, it worked, didn't it."

"Shut up."

"Still can't tell me what to do."

"Shut up, dollophead." Arthur shook his head, chuckling softly as he moved to grab a book and finally take his own seat across from Merlin. The fire cast a minimal but welcome heat over to them, making the freezing weather that much easier to bare.

Merlin finished his soup as Arthur read, softly placing it down next to his feet when the bowl lay empty. He hated to admit it but it had helped raise his internal temperature greatly. He sunk back into the chair once again, propping his feet at the stool in front of him. He didn't even notice when he began to fall asleep.

Arthur finished the chapter in his book, marking the page and setting it down in his lap. He glanced up to Merlin fast asleep in his chair, neck bent to the side at an awkward angle. That wouldn't do. Arthur stood up, book sliding onto the floor as he approached Merlin, careful not to wake him up. He gently removed his shoes and coat, folding them and placing them in a neat pile on the carpet. He then gently lifted Merlin, hands placed under his knees and his torso, carrying him over to his own bed. He placed him down, making sure he was bundled tightly in the thick blankets. Arthur stared at his sleeping form, aching to lay down next to it. He wondered what it was like to hold him, to kiss him softly before falling asleep in each other's arms.

Arthur couldn't hold back anymore. He leaned down, about to leave a soft kiss on his forehead, when Merlin shifted in his sleep, letting out a soft murmur. The movement shocked Arthur back, standing straight with his heart pounding deep in his chest. 'What was I thinking, what if he woke up?!" Arthur couldn't stop the ache in his chest, but he could stop himself from making foolish decisions. He rushed back to his chair, picking his book off the ground and flicking to a random page. But his attention was still stuck on the man lying still, meters away.

Arthur looked back over to his servant, and now he couldn't force his eyes to stray away even if he tried. He longed to feel his touch, his breath mingled with his own. He wanted to feel their hands intertwined, bodies pressed together, lips moving in tandem with the force of their love for each other. He couldn't help but want, want, want. He wanted him, needed every part of himself that Merlin would give him. And Arthur would gladly take it all, whatever it was. He would make himself content with it, would love Merlin from a distance if that's what he needed. It was with these thoughts that Arthur was lulled into his own slumber, at peace with himself knowing Merlin was safe and in his bed.

It was dark when Arthur awakened, or darker than it was during the day, anyways. The piles of snow and darkened clouds blocked most light from reaching the corridors, but it was clear night had befallen. He sat up slowly, twisting his neck to crack his tender joints. As he did so he caught a glance of his empty bed, sheets pulled aside with no Merlin in sight. This sobered any remnants of sleep Arthur had immediately. He jumped to his feet, running to the door and throwing it open.

He ran into the hallway taking notice of the guards on either side of him first. "How could you let him past you!" He screamed at them, noticing they were not the same ones he had spoken to earlier. "Was the importance of Merlin remaining here not expressed to you when your shift started!"

"Sire, no one has left your room since we took guard," one bravely spoke up. Arthur snapped his head to him, rage apparent in his gaze. 

"You mean to tell me he just slipped past you, invisible! That is impossible! Idiots! I will deal with you later!" Leaving them standing confused, Arthur stumbled around the corridors, tripping over people and lost in a general sense of confusion. He supposed he was making rather a lot of noise, because moments later Percival ran into sight, hurrying over to his King."

"Your majesty!" He exclaimed. "Is everything alright, my lord?" 

"No, nothing is alright, I can't find Merlin. He disappeared from my room." 

"I saw him a candle mark ago, he was walking to the north-side of the grounds." Percival stated calmly. 'Oh, of course he was,' Arthur thought, grinding his teeth together. "But I thought you had already spoken to him, Gwaine had said..." Percival trailed off. Arthur paid it no mind.

"I did, he escaped. Thank you, Sir Percival, I know where he went. Thank you." He ran back to the north tower. It wouldn't be until later that Arthur would realize that Percival was not in his chain mail, but his personal clothes. And he was carrying a suspiciously familiar ivory box.

Arthur wasted no time jogging back up the length of the tower, until he found Merlin just where he suspected. He looked mildly better than before, now fed and rested. But he was nowhere close to peak condition. He was checking on the boy and his mother. The both of them were awake, also seeming to have gained some strength as well. Arthur felt bad to interrupt, but only slightly.

"You are coming with me." He stated firmly as he gripped Merlin by the wrist, dragging him back down the stairs. Merlin said his farewells to the duo, going along with Arthur will little fight. "You shouldn't have come back, Merlin. You need to rest."

"I promised them, Arthur."

"We could have sent someone else."

"It wouldn't have been the same."

"It would have made zero difference."

"Arthur, something could have happened to them."

"Something could have happened to you!" He bit back sharply, turning to face Merlin as they stopped in their tracks. He didn't realize until they were face to face just how close they were to each other. It was the middle of the night, they were open in the corridor. Now was not the time, but Arthur couldn't help the race in his chest, or the way his eyes flickered to Merlin's lips. Both of their breaths were visible in the cold, mixing together in swirls of white and gray before dissipating. 

"Arthur," Merlin muttered softly, fingers twitching against Arthur's. Now really was not the time. 

"We are going back to bed. You need rest." Arthur turned, continuing to guide them back to his room.

"We?" 

"We." They walked the rest of the way in silence. 

Merlin helped Arthur change into his nightclothes, more out of habit than anything else. Arthur gave him some to borrow as well, allowing him to change behind his dressing screen. When he was finished, he walked out shyly, hands wringing behind his back.

"Oh, just get in the bed, Merlin. You need the rest."

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Where will you sleep." Something about this interaction seemed vaguely familiar. 

"I'll, I'll sleep in that chair." He wordlessly dragged one over to the bedside, sitting in it and motioning for Merlin to get beneath he covers. Merlin walked over to him, arms crossed and a hip popped out to the side. 

"I'm not getting in that bed unless you do." He said definitively.

"Merlin.." Arthur gritted out.

"No excuses, up you get."  Seeing no other choice, and really wanting Merlin to get some rest, he reluctantly raised himself from the chair, sliding into bed. His body was stiff as he watched Merlin nod to himself and make his way to the other side, climbing in with much less grace than Arthur himself. They both settled under the covers, staring up at the drapes surrounding them.

They remained quiet for some time. They knew neither of them were asleep. "Merlin," Arthur whispered.

"Yeah, Arthur?" Merlin responded.

"How'd you get out of the room." He could feel the smug grin on Merlin's face even though he refused to turn and look.

"Wouldn't you like to know." He said.

It was silent again, and somehow, eventually they both fell asleep.

Arthur woke the next morning, his body pressed tightly to Merlin's, encasing him in his arms. As soon as he realized what he was doing he removed himself from the bed, cautious not to wake his servant. Arthur shook his head. 'That could have been bad,' he thought, scratching the back of his neck as he turned to face the window. He was delighted to see a break in the storm, the sun shining through wispy clouds. Walking closer to peer down into the citadel, he could already see the piles of snow beginning to melt.

Chapter Text

4

"Arthur, are you sure you know where we are going?"

"Hush, Merlin." Arthur turned back to give Merlin a teasing smile. He had his hand wrapped around Merlin's wrist, leading him deeper into the woods, farther away from the rest of the world. It could just be them, and that was what Arthur needed. They needed to have a talk. 

After a few minutes of walking, they had finally reached their destination. Arthur had dispatched a couple of knights to set up a small picnic of sorts complete with fresh bread, fruits and wine. Not far from the picnic itself was a tiny cabin, tucked neatly between trees and perfectly secluded. Merlin gazed upon the sight, a sudden gasp escaping his lips. Arthur turned to him, his smile only widening as he viewed the surprise on his servant's face.

"Well, let's not stand here and gape, the food won't stay fresh all day." Arthur teased lightly, letting go of Merlin's hand and allowing him to follow Arthur over to the blanket. They settled onto the ground, sharing light stories as they ate and drank to their hearts content. Neither would admit it, but sometimes they needed a break from Camelot and the weight of their insurmountable destiny.

Merlin was telling him a story about some young boys that had visited Gaius that week. Arthur tried to pay attention, but Merlin just looked so beautiful in his element. The nature surrounding them seemed to charge Merlin, making him glow with more radiance than usual. There was none of the heavy stress pressing down on his shoulders that Merlin liked to believe Arthur never noticed. He did, but he trusted Merlin to tell him the truth when the time came. Without all the weight, Merlin's laughter spilled easier, his jokes came quicker and his energy rarely waned. 

Merlin's hands always moved when he talked, Arthur noticed. He was very animated in that way. Some people may find it annoying, but to Arthur it was one of his most endearing qualities. Arthur traced his eyes up and down Merlin's figure as he talked. From his hands waving about, to the way his legs were neatly tucked under his body, his knees bent at the perfect angle. The way the ball on his throat moved up and down as he talked, his eyes shining and darting around the more excited he got. He pictured a perfect life, where he could lean over and kiss Merlin whenever he pleased. And oh, how he wanted to right now. Arthur found it difficult to take his focus off of Merlin's lips. His lips, the way they-

"... and then, and you won't believe this Arthur, they started sneezing out rocks! The things these children get up to, I mean.." Merlin's tone drifted off as he looked Arthur in the eye, catching on to the fact that he was hardly paying attention. Merlin sat forward, a mischievous grin on his face. He snapped his fingers, rather annoyingly, in front of Arthur, hoping to snap him out of his daze. It worked, of course, and life seemed to drain back into Arthur's eyes as he registered Merlin and how close he was to himself now.

"Seriously, Arthur? You are doing your whole zone out thing again, you know. Is your attention span really that short?" 

"Sorry, I was just.. thinking about something." 'Thinking about you.' Merlin's face softened, and he leaned back onto his hands once again, giving Arthur some room to get his bearings. 

"You can tell me anything, you know that? Anything at all. I will never judge you, not if it is something important."

Arthur nodded his head. "I know that, Merlin."

"No, I don't think that you do, Arthur." Merlin's voice was more defeated than serious now. "You have had these little episodes where you get in your own head and ignore everyone for nearly a decade now. It concerned your father, it concerns Gwen, it most definitely concerns me. There is something going on in that blonde head of yours, and you are suffering with it alone."

Arthur's shoulders tensed up. "I am not hiding anything, Merlin." He bit back defensively. This was not how he had planned on their trip going.

"I never said you were. I just think maybe sharing whatever is going on would help ease your mind a bit." It was the gentleness in the way Merlin said that finally caused Arthur to relent. 

"There is something. Something that I have been meaning to talk to you about. It's why we are here." Merlin nodded in understanding.

"Yes I expected as much." He said smugly.

"Oh, shut up, Merlin." Arthur moved to get up, offering a hand for Merlin as well. "Follow me."

Arthur led the two of them into the cabin waiting for them, stocked with a night's worth of provisions as well as fresh clothes, firewood, and freshly made beds waiting at one end of the cabin. In the middle stood a fire place with two lounge chairs, a singular glass table in between them. On it lay a scroll, as well as a fresh jug of wine and two chalices.

Arthur walks over to the hearth, silently starting a fire before sitting back into one of the chairs placed in front. He gestures at the other one, motioning for Merlin to take a seat as well. Arthur reaches over to the table, grabbing the scroll and resting it on his lap before pouring them some more wine as Merlin settles himself. He then notices how long the pour has gotten and reaches out to stop Arthur before it gets too much.

"Trust me, Merls, we are gonna need it."

"Arthur you just called me Merls, no you don't. You have delayed long enough, come on. What is this really about?" Arthur sat back in his chair, chalice in hand. He took a small sip and sat it back onto the table. 

"I have been, thinking things,"

"That's dangerous."

"Quiet, Merlin." The familiar banter eased some of the tension Arthur had been carrying since they entered the cabin. "These thoughts, they started long before I had met you. Merlin, I don't want you to be afraid."

"Arthur, what's going on?" Merlin was fully sober now, his eyebrows drawing together in a mix of worry and confusion.

"Do you remember the box you found under my bed?" Merlin nodded slightly. "Did you read anything that was written?"

"No, of course not Arthur. I stopped the moment I saw it was from Ygraine. You know I would never betray your trust."

"I do, and I want you to know that I would rather die than lie to you, unless it was necessary. You know every part of me, body and soul. This is all I have or will ever hide, and it was for good reason. And I am showing you now. Do not be afraid. And please, do not speak until I am finished."

And so Arthur read to him everything his mother had written for him. Everything about how beautiful magic was when it was free, the miracles it had performed. She wrote of how kind Uther could be, when it wasn't a time of war, that is. And she told of how she knew, best of all, how quickly that could change. Arthur read Merlin all of this, but he could not bring himself to look him in the eyes as he did. He was terrified of what he would see on his face. Would it be horror? Merlin had been taught to fear magic all his life, just as Arthur had been. Would it be anger? Confusion? A mix of all three? Arthur had no way of knowing. He heard Merlin clear his throat a few times, some small intakes of breath. In surprise? Arthur didn't know.

"All this to say, Merlin. I want to repeal the ban on magic. This thought has not come easily. I have read my mother's accounts many times, and have tried to view people's actions through the eyes of someone being wrongfully persecuted. Persecuted like sorcerers have been for the last several decades. But Merlin, I cannot make a decision like this without you. I need you on my side in this. It may take time for you to see how magic doesn't corrupt, but I want to-"

"Arthur!" Merlin rushes forward, grabbing Arthur's face on either side with both of his hands. They felt warm against his skin, soft and gentle as always. Arthur finally looked Merlin in the eyes, and all he saw was relief and joy. Tears were welled up in them, making their way down his cheeks. Their tracks glistened in the firelight, captivating Arthur's attention. His gaze could not stray. He could not think about how strange it was to not see fear, or anger. All he could focus on was the gorgeous way the reflection of flames danced in Merlin's irises. 

Arthur heard the door to the cabin slam open, he heard shouting. But his gaze stayed transfixed onto Merlin's. Then he saw as the reflection of the fire melted into the natural blue of Merlin's eyes. They glowed, a bright golden orange. His eyes were no longer looking at Arthur, but past him. It was then that Arthur came to realize what had just happened.

'Merlin has magic?' He could not linger on this thought for very long. Arthur snapped his head towards the intrusion, only for sudden panic to consume every one of his rational thoughts.

Morgana was stood in the doorway, and she was beyond all sense. Her eyes were filled with wrath, her jaw clenched tight with the force of her fury. She was heaving herself up from the ground. 'Merlin must have knocked her back with his magic. Merlin has magic!' Arthur had barely gotten the thought out before the shouting had started again. Now, he could make out the words.

"You! Pendragon! Now you say you care for magic?! Now you say you want to uplift the ban? After everything I have been through? No! No you do not get to just say that. I heard your whole spiel and it is all lies. If you truly felt this way about magic, then you would not have let your sister be thrown out to the wolves!" She was seething now.

"Morgana," Arthur started with as much patience as he could muster. Despite everything, they were still family, and he still cared for her.  He held is hands up in surrender, hoping to ease some of her anger. It did not help much but it was worth a shot. "You left of your own will, you chose this path for yourself. I could do nothing but stand by and watch it happen beneath my very nose. If you had come to me for help, I would've found some way, but you ignored me, and you betrayed me. There is no forgiving that."

"I don't want your forgiveness!" She spat. Then, Morgana turned her attention to Merlin, who was standing stiff behind Arthur, ready to protect if necessary. "And you! You have magic? And you protect this low excuse of a King, oh you are worse than he is. You are worse than filth. You let your own people be slaughtered, and for what? You disgust me!" She yelled. "And now its time I end this, the both of you." Morgana raised her hand up, but she was thrown against the wall once more before a single spell could be uttered. 

"I don't think so," Merlin uttered darkly. He drew Excalibur form Arthur's side, slowly approaching where Morgana now appeared to be held to the floor by invisible chains. Arthur couldn't help the small twinge of fear that sparked deep within himself. It was not from Merlin's magic, but from the show of sheer power he wielded. He held the sword tightly against Morgana's throat. "I tried to avoid this, Morgana. We could have been allies, friends. We once were, a long time ago. But your chance for redemption has passed. I am afraid there is only one way this can end." Arthur's heart was racing in his chest. He couldn't let Merlin do this. He knew he would regret it, he knew his Merlin. Magic or no, there was no way he could just murder someone in cold blood. 

"Merlin!" He shouted, drawing his attention from Morgana. The second he turned his head, the sword lowered and so did the invisible grip holding Morgana in place. Morgana screamed as she surged forward, tackling Merlin to the ground. Excalibur clattered to the ground, and Arthur rushed to grab it, but it was too late. Morgana's eyes flashed and in two seconds, it was over. A deep gash appeared now severed deep into Merlin's throat. The blood began to pour, spilling on the floor. Arthur heard water rush to his ears as his whole world fell apart.

Morgana was laughing manically. She was speaking but Arthur heard no words. He was a man blinded by grief as he finally reached his sword and pivoted to face that Witch. She could no longer be referred to as his sister. She had just spilt any last blood that remained between them. It sunk into the cracks of the wood, seeping into the ground. With his eyes blinded by tears, Arthur screamed and plunged the sword deep into Morgana's chest. She clutched at the wound, gasping for air as she sank to her knees and fell backwards. She stared lifeless at the ceiling as she drew her final breaths.

Arthur witnessed none of it. He was lying at the side of his servant, his friend, the love of his life. He draped himself over his body. Merlin had no ounce of life left in him and yet he was warm to the touch. 

Arthur wept as his body slowly grew colder.

Chapter Text

5

It had been minutes, days, weeks, maybe only seconds. It didn't really matter, the last of the tears in Arthur's eyes had fallen. His head ached, his nose clogged, his throat was sore. But all Arthur could feel was the stinging pain of his heart shattering into a million pieces over and over again. He could not bring himself to look Merlin in the face. The pain was too great. Arthur stayed draped over Merlin's body, eyes closed as he shook and dry-heaved with the weight of his grief.

Suddenly, Arthur felt a light pressure on the crown of his head. His shoulders were tensed, but he did not move. Somehow, he knew he was not in danger. "Shhhh..." the voice spoke. It was muffled to Arthur's ears, but from what he heard it sounded feminine. And, distantly familiar. The hand continued to run itself through Arthur's hair, caressing his scalp gently. "Calm yourself, Arthur Pendragon. And see." The hand was gone, and Arthur felt compelled to raise his head. He did so, every so slightly, but he could not bring himself to lift it further than Merlin's face.

Merlin's face was pale, his skin cold and clammy. His eyes were closed, his lips were parted, and had it not been for the lack of breath escaping his mouth Arthur might have been inclined to believe he was still alive. But this was not so, and Merlin was dead. Arthur crawled his way up Merlin's body until he was pressed against him chest to chest, face to face. The grief was too much to see his friend like this, the companion he loved so dearly. The tears welled up against Arthur's control. He tried to stop them but it was too late. 

A single drop fell on Merlin's cheek. Arthur stared into it, and suddenly his vision was clear. Only he was no longer in that cabin, with Merlin.

Arthur was staring at himself. He walked forward, circling his own body. He was sat on his own throne, back in the castle, and he did not seem to notice the other version of himself standing a few feet away from him. "What in the world?" Arthur was beyond confused. The other Arthur didn't seem to be able to hear him either. He stepped back multiple paces to take in his surroundings. It was his throne room, but it was not his throne room. The tiles were different, a deep blue stone rather than the light brown polished wood he had known all his life. There were knights he did not recognize. The chip in the pillar closest to the doors, made from a fight where Uther had thrown a plate against it years ago, was nowhere in sight. But the most unnerving change to Arthur by far, was the throne placed right next to his own, equal in height and stature. 

Arthur had no Queen, nor a right hand, no one that could occupy that space. The closest he had was Merlin, but as far as the public saw, they were far from anything that would justify Merlin in such a position. The seat itself as of now stood empty. 

Time seemed to pass like that for hours, Arthur watching himself seated upon his throne, crown resting on his head as he gave council to any citizens that had made their way to the citadel. This Arthur seemed older than himself now, maybe 36 summers or so. He had a beard grown, a few wrinkles around his eyes. His smile remained kind, his shoulders did not seem tense. He seemed, happy? Was this his future?

The doors opened with a thick clank, and footsteps made their way swiftly across the room. Arthur watched the smile on his face grow, eyes shining brighter than ever. He turned to see who had entered the room, choking back a sob when they made contact with Merlin. He had aged as well, but he looked better than he ever had as a servant. He was dressed in royal fabrics, a deep blue that complimented the room and the usual Pendragon red of Arthur's cloaks. He had a silver circlet on his head, bunches of scrolls tucked under his arm as he rushed to the other end of the room. 

"So sorry I am late, I got caught up with some of the younger ones questioning. You know how they can be." 

"No worries, love you didn't miss much. Just some farmer's disputes."

"Ah good, can't let you have all the fun." Merlin leaned over to kiss him on the head, brushing some of his hair behind his ear before he took his place on the throne next to him.

Shocked, Arthur walked over to Merlin, peering at his face. The scar he had grown to love, the one on his right temple a centimeter from his eyebrow was missing.

"You are not, my Merlin, are you?" He said to himself. Only then, Merlin made eye contact with him.

"No, no I am not your Merlin, but he waits for you." He smiled softly. Arthur stumbled back, his vision fading out. 

"What was that, love?" He heard himself ask, though it was faint.

"It was-"

Arthur was back in the cabin, staring down at Merlin. Another tear fell, and as he stared into it, he felt himself falling once more.

"You?! You have magic?"

Arthur stumbled into the field, again seeing another version of himself and Merlin, standing apart from each other. Merlin was on his knees, Arthur himself standing over him. He walked closer, now seeing the fear written across Merlin's face and the anger on his own. 

"I use it, for you Arthur, only for you. Please, please believe me." Merlin was sobbing, hands held up in defense.

"Magic is illegal Merlin. It is evil." Arthur felt the sting in his own heart. 

"No, no no it isn't. We know this. Come on, Arthur. we already know this." But he couldn't hear him. Merlin jerked his head up, looking between both of the Arthur's.

"What is going on?" Merlin asked.

"You are being tried for treason, Merlin." but Merlin wasn't looking at his Arthur. He was staring at this new one. The new one was walking closer to him, kneeling down to match him at eye level.

"Why can only you see me? Why can't...he?" Merlin screwed his eyes shut in concentration, before they opened wide, that orange glow fading from them once again. The other Arthur, still standing over Merlin was now frozen, the expression of rage still daunting his face.

"You, aren't from here, are you?" Merlin stood up at the same time as this new Arthur. 

"No, I don't think that I am." Merlin nodded, pressing his fingers up to Arthur's forehead. 

"I see, so much tragedy. You have suffered a great deal. Grief, it plagues you. This is recent." Arthur's throat tightened.

"I- yes. Yes, I lost you, Merlin. You are dead, and I could not save you. I don't know why this is happening, why I am seeing all of this, but I just, I want you back."

"That might not be so far out of reach. I believe, you are traveling to worlds that run parallel to your own. Like mine, it is similar, but different. Some things may be out of place. Does this seem familiar?"

Arthur nodded his head. "It...it does." 

Merlin smiled, softly. "Good. I'm glad. You must let matters run their course, Arthur. In your world, and in this one. And in all those to come."

"What do you mean?" Merlin shook his head. "It was great to talk with you like this, Arthur." Merlin leaned forward, brushing a soft kiss on Arthur's cheek. "I'm sorry, but everything must run its course." He whispered, before pushing Arthur onto the ground. Thick vines wrapped around Arthur's limbs, tying him to the ground.

"Merlin!?"

Time resumed, Merlin once again kneeling in front of this other version of Arthur, a version he refused to recognize as himself. 

"I thought I could trust you." "Merlin what's going on?"

"But in the end, everyone betrays me. And they must pay the price." "No! Arthur no! Arthur stop it this isn't you!" But he couldn't hear him. Merlin turned his head to the side, tears falling into the grass as he looked at the new Arthur in the eyes. 

"I love you." He said. "In every lifetime, I love you. I know this to be true." Arthur had thought the same of himself, until now.

The sword swung, Merlin's head rolled. Arthur saw black.

Arthur gasped stumbling into the court room once again. This one looked more similar to his own, but the air was darker somehow. He saw the same Arthur from the previous vision, drunk and fallen apart on the floor. He was stumbling over his words, yelling haphazardly at the knights in the corner. His clothes were disheveled, his hair wild and untrimmed. He was a mess. And suddenly Arthur understood. 'This is my life without Merlin,' and he was in the cabin again.

Arthur's whole body racked with a sob as he was once again staring at Merlin's lifeless face. "Why is this happening!"? he screamed as another tear fell, and he was being sucked into it once again. He did not notice the color slowly draining back into Merlin's face before he went.

Arthur stood up, taking in his surroundings again. He was in his chambers, but not his chambers. Him and Merlin were cuddled up together, half naked and dreaming lazily. He smiled at the scene, living with it for only a second before he was forced to leave.

Tear after tear fell, and for every tear, a new world.

Arthur saw himself rejecting and accepting Merlin's magic over and over again.

He saw himself married to a princess from a foreign country, Merlin smiling tightly from the sidelines. His own smile was non-existent, likely bound to this marriage only through duty.

He saw Merlin running around, happy with some girl, named Freya. He seemed happy, but not as happy as he could ever be with Arthur. His own jealousy bubbling to the surface.

He saw Merlin and himself happily married. Sometimes they had kids, sometimes they didn't. Sometimes Morgana was there, sometimes she wasn't. He saw these sections of lives he could have lived over and over again. And there was always one constant. Merlin. He was destined to impact Arthur's life in one way or another. 

As Arthur was sucked into these trances, Merlin was healing. Every tear moved him further along. His breath was coming in evenly now, his fingers twitching, eyebrows furrowed. Arthur was too distracted to notice any of it.

Arthur was used to the jump now. The vision he found himself in now spanned over the course of a few days.

In this one, he was married to Guinevere. Not the first time he had seen it, but it amused him nonetheless. Here, they were preparing for war with Morgana. Merlin was nowhere to be seen at the moment. Neither Arthur seemed to have a clue where he was. It woke him up in a fit, causing him to rush out of bed with Gwen and out of the tent. 

The vision flashed again, and he was standing in the middle of a canyon? He was fighting with his entire heart. Slaying enemies and checking on his fallen comrades. Suddenly he heard a scream, and both Arthurs turned to see a figure in the distance, robes flowing in the wind and his long white hair and beard not far behind. Arthur couldn't hold in his own chuckle. He would recognize Merlin anywhere, even if he appeared to be eighty years old. His arm raised towards the sky, and Arthur jumped in slight fear as bolts of lightning rained down from clouds that weren't there a moment ago. 

Arthur had heard Merlin confess his magic to him multiple times now. He heard his tales of how powerful he was, the great warlock Emrys. He was the most powerful sorcerer to walk the Earth. But hearing and seeing something is vastly different. 

The vision flashed again, and Arthur caught sight of a young man he seemed to recognize. Arthur seemed to recognize him from his timeline as well, but he couldn't quite place him. Their fighting had picked up in intensity. He was a good match for Arthur's skill, but not quite good enough. Arthur turned to look away for a second, a single second. He had just wanted to see if he could catch a glimpse of Merlin again. Suddenly, he heard the piercing of armor, which was not uncommon in war, but this time it stole his breath away. Arthur turned around to see a sword sticking from under his rib cage, right where his heart should be. 

At the last second, Arthur drove his own sword deep into the other young man. They stared into each other's eyes, one smiling painfully, before he fell to the ground. Arthur grabbed Excalibur from his corpse, holding his hand to his side as he stumbled over to a rock to rest.

The vision flashed again, and Merlin had found Arthur. They were resting at a camp now, no one else but the two of them in sight. Arthur let out a sigh of relief. Merlin would get him to safety, he wouldn't let him die. Arthur had not seen himself die in any one of these worlds, this one shouldn't be any different.

His heart dropped as he watched Merlin confess his magic, his own reaction, sub par. He hated these ones, where he looked at Merlin like he was a monster. He had only every used it for good, and he had been scared himself. Arthur could never be mad at Merlin for that. 

Another flash, and it is now morning. Arthur is ignoring Merlin. He sees himself trying to warn Gaius about Merlin, before he sinks back in defeat when he learns Gaius already knew. Of course he knew. 

Arthur learns Merlin needs to take him to some special lake, to heal. The sword was forged in dragon's breath, much like his own. It was proving more fatal than an ordinary wound would have been.

This world is different from the other ones Arthur has seen. Whenever he learns of Merlin's magic, he either accepts him with open arms, or immediately kills or banishes him. Those are his least favorite. But this time? Arthur watches enthralled as Arthur slowly comes to terms with sorcery on their journey. Merlin talks to him, explaining why he does what he does. It is more meaningful this time, somehow, as he sees the understanding slowly dawn on himself. Arthur feels himself relax further as he follows them. Maybe this one wouldn't end as he thought it was.

This Merlin hadn't seemed to notice him yet. He was too focused on taking care of his own Arthur.

The vision cuts once more, and Merlin and himself are lying in the grass. His own skin is pale, his eyes glazed over. He is talking lightly, voice soft and out of breath. Merlin has an endless stream of tears running down his face, not unlike his own in the cabin from his world. He watches, distraught as he draws his last breaths. Merlin screams to the sky, calling the dragon forward as he holds Arthur, cradling his head. 

Both him and Merlin seem to listen in a daze as the dragon explains their destiny, that Arthur was supposed to die here. 

Merlin has a small funeral for Arthur, burning his body before pushing him out on the boat. Now he would begin the endless wait for his King to return.

Arthur gasps, eyes opening at the same time Merlin's do underneath him. 

"Merlin?!" He screams, grabbing his shoulders as he stared into Merlin's face, not believing this is real.

"Merlin? Are you with me?" Merlin slowly sits up. mouth coughing.

"M-y, throat. It's," He coughs. His throat was dry. 

"Of course!" Arthur stands up, still staring at Merlin as he stumbled for one of their water skins. He notices the blood is still soaked into the floors, but Merlin's throat was now fully healed, not even a scar left behind.

Arthur runs into a figure, looking up to see a face he had long since forgotten standing over him.

"Basina?" he whispers. She looks better than she had all those years ago. Clean, healthy. She was happy. She smiles at him and hands him a water skin. Arthur rushes it over to Merlin, slowly letting it fall into Merlin's mouth as he drinks.

"It is nice to see you again, Arthur. Though I had hoped it would be under better circumstances." He nods, still stunned, not believing anything that has happened to him over the past day.

There is a comfortable silence after that, Merlin falling back to sleep after he got some water. Arthur carefully transfers Merlin over to one of the beds at the end of the cabin, tucking him in gently. He turns back over to Basina, who had seated herself in the chair Merlin was in only hours ago. Arthur walked over, sitting back on his own. They stay there for some time to allow Arthur to process.

"Basina, what just happened?" Arthur finally asks. "I mean, how was that possible? How did you find us? Did you heal him?"

"Slow, down. One question at a time, sire." She sighs, pouring herself a glass of the wine before sinking back in the chair.

"As I am sure you have learned by now, Merlin is Emrys." Arthur nods. "Emrys is connected to everyone with magic, including the druids. We felt the world shift when he died."

"So he did die?"

"Yes, Arthur."

"Then how is he breathing?"

"I am getting to that." She takes another long sip. "My people sent me when we felt the energy shift, since I was already acquainted with you. Emrys was dead, but he will never stay that way. He is immortal. But he would have taken decades to heal if he did not have help."

"So that's why you came? To heal him?"

"I did not heal him Arthur, you did." The confusion on Arthur's face only deepened.

"I don't understand."

"Arthur, you know the truth of your birth, yes?"

"Yes, my mother told me."

"Yes, well she did not know everything. All of the magic that was lost in the purge has culminated itself in Merlin. That is why he was born the way he was. But the magic that caused your birth is what started the chain reaction so his magic would manifest. He would not exist, had you not been born. The magic that was used to create you, still lies inside you Arthur. Not powerful, but it is there. And it ties directly to Merlin's being. Your sorrow brought him back. You drew more of your own power with every world you saw, and your tears were what held that power. Every drop brought Merlin that much farther back to life."

"I have..magic tears?" Arthur wanted to laugh.

"Well, only to Merlin. But, yes."

"Okay, okay. That's okay."

"Arthur do not freak out."

"I'm not freaking out, who is freaking out. I am just learning I saved the love of my life with our interconnected magic system. That's normal, really normal. I'm not freaking out."

"Arthur." Basina grabbed his arm, speaking sternly. "You need rest as much as he does. Go. Be with him. You can talk when you both have your strength back."

"Okay.." Arthur said quietly. Basina stood up, bowing to him. It was lovely to see you again, sire. I have taken care of the .. mess. " Arthur looked around to see the blood and Morgana's body were indeed gone.

"I will leave you now. I have placed a protection charm around this place, you will be safe to recover until sundown in three days. So rest! I mean it!" And with that she was gone, in the blink of an eye. Arthur walked over to Merlin, his sleeping form at peace now. He smiled down at him. Without thinking twice Arthur ignored the other bed and joined Merlin on his. He reached over, grabbing Merlin's waist as he settled behind him. Basina was right, they could talk later. For now, Arthur wanted to enjoy the first semblance of peace he had found. 

Chapter Text

+1

Arthur woke the next morning, yellow light pouring in through the windows. His arm was asleep, trapped under Merlin's body and slowly growing numb. It didn't stay that way for long as Merlin was now slowly waking up as well. He groaned as he shifted further to the side, nuzzling into Arthur's warmth as he came to consciousness. His eyes remained closed for a few moments, but he soon jerked them open as he rushed to sit up. He stared down at Arthur, his heart beating wildly in his chest.

"Rise and shine, Merlin." Arthur grinned. Merlin groaned, shoving his shoulder away from him. He smiled back at Arthur before the events of the previous night flashed in his head.  Terrified, Merlin stood up and backed away from the bed where Arthur now lay confused. He crossed his arms, his hands gripping his shoulders as he walked back and forth pacing the room. Arthur's heart broke a little seeing him like this. He rose as well, the blanket slowly sliding down his shoulder and onto the mattress. He crossed the room over to Merlin, stopping him in his tracks with a warm hand grasping his elbow. "Merlin? Merlin what's wrong?"

"I- I shouldn't be alive right now, Arthur. I was supposed to die, that's how it should've happened. I die, you move on. You marry, you're happy. That's how it's supposed to go." Merlin's eyes shifted around the room nervously.

"And what makes you think, that I could ever be happy with you gone Merlin." Arthur said sternly. He wasn't quite yelling, but his voice was raised. "I have seen it, multiple times, Merlin. Every life without you, I am miserable." Merlin stared back at him, wordless. A few tears were streaming down his face. They stayed in that silent staring contest for a few minutes before Merlin finally spoke up.

"What about my magic, Arthur?" 

"Did you listen to anything I said last night? Merlin, I was already repealing the ban on magic, and you think I won't accept you?"

"Well, I couldn't be sure.." he smiled sheepishly. Arthur had enough. he pulled Merlin in a tight hug, one for the few he allowed himself to give. He tucked Merlin's had under his own, resting his nose in Merlin's hair.

"Merlin. I promise that no harm will ever come to you from my hand. I could never live with myself if you were hurt. Okay?"

"Okay," he mumbled quietly. Arthur breathed out a sigh. He squeezed Merlin to himself once more, before reluctantly letting him go.

"Good, now come sit down. We never finished our conversation last night.

Merlin and Arthur spent the first few hours of their day like that, going over what was left of the old laws and comparing them to the ones Uther had created. It was tiring work, but they found pleasure in it. They had each other's company, and that was enough. They were fulfilling their destiny, together, one boring scroll at a time. 

"Arthur, should we break for lunch?" Arthur leaned back in his chair, raising his hands above is head to stretch out the ache that had accumulated in his spine. His tunic rose up when he did so, and he didn't miss the way Merlin's eyes fixated on the sliver of his tummy showing.

"I think that's an excellent idea." Arthur smirked, amused when Merlin snapped himself out of his trance at Arthur's voice. "Grab some food, meet me outside." 

Arthur walked a bit, past where their picnic was and where they left their horses, and found a little trail leading to a small river. A light swim would be very relaxing once their bellies were full. He made sure to leave heavy footprints as he walled so Merlin would know where he had headed.

Arthur appeared behind him not minutes later, basket full of fresh fruits and cheeses as well as the rest of their wine.

"Did you.." Arthur trailed off, waving his hand about lazily in the air. "Did you magic those up?" He asked, grinning. Last he checked they hadn't had any fresh grapes and berries with them when they left Camelot.

Merlin simply shrugged, the grin on his face equally as wide as Arthur's. "Didn't think you would mind. Is there a problem, sire?" His voice was full of mockery. 

"Nope!" Arthur said, popping his lips at the end of the word. "None at all," he walked over to Merlin, taking the basket from him to carry down the rest of the way to the river bank. 

They sat in a comfortable silence until all the food and wine had been eaten and drunk.

Merlin was lying back in the grass, eyes closed in bliss. He heard Arthur rustling about, peeking an eye open to see him having stripped his shirt off. A blush made its way up his ears and down his neck. 

"Arthur. What are you doing?"

"Going for a swim. Care to join me?"

Merlin scoffed. "I'm good, knock yourself out."

Arthur nodded, making sure he was facing Merlin as he tore the rest of his clothes off.  Merlin turned his face away, pretending to look at a very fascinating branch above them. He had obviously seen the man without clothes before, it was part of his job after all. They knights were no stranger to nudity either. But this felt, different. More intimate somehow. 

Arthur watched Merlin try not to stare, and had to try very hard himself to not let any small giggles escape his mouth. Kings did not giggle. Although this one sure seemed to whenever he was around a certain sorcerer.

He stepped backwards into the water, Merlin finally looking up at him once he was sure Arthur was fully submerged. 

"Sure you don't want to come in, Merlin. It feels great!" He yelled over to Merlin, who was now sitting up. His body weight resting on his hands that pressed firmly in the dirt. His fists gripped the earth beneath him, desire slowly ebbing away at his self restraint. 

Arthur screamed internally of victory when Merlin finally stood up, shedding his coats and boots. "Turn around, clotpole." 'Here we go,' Arthur thought. Regardless, he did as he was asked, turning around to allow Merlin some privacy. 

Moments later he heard some light splashes, as well as tiny shrieks coming from behind him. 

"Arthur, you liar. It's freezing in here!" Arthur couldn't contain his laughter. His shoulder's shook with the force of it as its sound echoed through the surrounding forest. 

"It's only cold from the snow melting off the mountains. You'll get used to it." He turned back around slowly before making his way over to Merlin. "I could warm you up, if you want." Arthur had meant it as a joke, a light tease to make Merlin more comfortable. But both of their bodies tensed when they realized the close proximity between the two of them. They could feel each others breaths ricocheting back and forth between their mouths.

"Arthur.." Merlin trailed off, looking straight into Arthur's eyes. Arthur had never wanted to kiss him more than he did in this moment. He felt he may actually combust if he didn't. 

"Merlin," Arthur whispered. He couldn't hold himself back any longer. "Merlin tell me to stop."  He leaned in slowly, giving Merlin a chance to back away if he wanted to. Merlin's eyes grew hazy, but he made no protests. Finally, Arthur pressed his lips onto Merlin's, and his world came together. 

Merlin did not tell him to stop. He leaned further into the kiss, groaning softly as his fingers sunk themselves in Arthur's hair. "Arthur," Merlin moaned softly, pulling back for a second so they could catch their breaths. Both of them were panting, air coming out in deep waves. They smiled then, eyes crinkling up at the corners before Merlin pulled them back in closer. It wasn't sweet, as it had been before. Their lips moved in tandem, their hands grasping onto each other for dear life. It was just them and the river, and nothing could take this way from them. 

Merlin pulled back once more, moving his attention to the side of Arthur's jaw. 'Fuck,' was the only thing Arthur could think. It was beyond every fantasy Arthur had ever had about kissing Merlin. "Merlin we should-" Merlin shushed him with his lips, pressing them firmly into Arthur's before he turned to his neck. 

"We will talk later." He said simply, refusing to pause his ministrations. Arthur laughed, though the sound came out strangled through his throat. It hadn't really sounded like a laugh at all. 

"I was going to say," he panted, breath heavy. "I was going to say we should move this to the cabin." Merlin pulled back suddenly, eyes full of heat as he stared at Arthur. He was hungry. Merlin's eyes flashed and they were back in the cabin, on the same bed they had slept on, with Arthur's naked body pinned beneath him. If Arthur wasn't hard before, he sure was now. 

Merlin took notice, staring up at Arthur through his eyelashes. "So that's what my magic does to you, hmm?" He said, hand running its way down Arthur's chest, to his stomach.

Arthur threw his head back, anticipating all of Merlin's next movements. He felt him shimmy down the bed, lying face down in between Arthur's legs. He could feel his breath against him, his body pulled taught in every direction. A hand caressed the side of his hip, as the trail of Merlin's breath moved lower. It paused on the inside of his thigh. 

"Ahh fuck, Merlin" Arthur's eyes were squeezed shut, the sensation on his legs too much. Merlin placed kisses all over the warm skin, down to his knee and up, so close but so far from where he really needed it.

"You need to relax, Arthur. Let me release your tension. Look at me, Arthur." Arthur exhaled deeply, finally glancing down into Merlin's eyes. The sight was so arousing it caused him to twitch lightly. Merlin was running his hands all over his hips, kneading into the flesh and loosening him up. "That's it baby, keep looking at me." Merlin's head moved lower again, but he averted his attention from his legs to Arthur's cock. Merlin gripped him with his hand first, gentle but firm. he circled his thumb around the tip, spreading around the fluid that had accumulated there. The sensation caused Arthur to moan again, his leg kicking out to the side and bumping into Merlin's rib cage.

Merlin's laughter rumbled out deeply, and this was when he thought that perhaps Merlin really was evil. He paused his movements to hike Arthur's legs up, resting his knees around his shoulders. The show of strength made Arthur's heart flutter. Strange. Merlin returned his attention finally, although this time his mouth joined in on the action. He stuck his tongue out, starting at the bottom of the shaft and slowly made his way up. It was agonizingly slow, but Arthur couldn't look away. Merlin got to the top, moving his mouth around the tip and sucking lightly, careful not to use any teeth. He swirled his tongue around in circles, letting his drool spill and drip down to Arthur's balls. Merlin gathered the saliva with his fingers, using it to lubricate his movements as he slowly worked his hand up and down, continuing with his tongue at the top.

"Merlin, Merlin you need to stop. Merlinn," Arthur couldn't keep quiet. Not that he needed to, but the moans and pleads of Merlin's name tumbled out of his mouth without warning. He didn't want to come like this, he needed Merlin to stop. "Merlin, please it's too good, I can't-" Merlin did not listen. If anything, he doubled down on his efforts, solely working his hand around the base as his mouth moved further down, his lips sucking in with every drag upwards. Arthur couldn't take it anymore. He squeezed his legs around Merlin's shoulders, using the last remnants of his strength to roll him over, effectively pulling Merlin off of him and halting his orgasm. 

"I told you to stop." Arthur breathed heavily, his hands pinning Merlin's own above his head. He got a better view of Merlin's body like this. Man, was he gorgeous. His pale skin was riddled with scars, but Arthur loved every single one of them. Merlin's muscles were toned and lean, even more beautiful than they were with clothes on. Arthur could finally see all of him. His crystal eyes were clearer from this position.

"You know me, Arthur, I never listen to you." Merlin leaned forward as far as his arms would let him, and it was enough to reach Arthur's chest. He bit down softly on one of Arthur's nipples, sucking lightly as Arthur screamed, dropping both of their hands and falling forward on to Merlin's body. Merlin flipped them around once more, straddling Arthur's hips and stretching his body until he was staring Arthur in his eyes.

"Hi." Merlin grinned.

"Hey there," Arthur responded quietly. He was entirely out of his head, floating on the clouds. He was at Merlin's mercy.

"How do you wanna do this. Have you ever..?" The question hung between them.

"No," Arthur gulped. "Have you?" Merlin shook his head.

"There could never have been anyone else, Arthur." That eased the possessiveness that had been growing in Arthur's chest.

"Issat so?" He slurred. "I wanna do it however you wanna do it. I am open for anything."

"So am I, so that doesn't necessarily help us here. Tell you what, I'll make it easy for you, since it is our first time." Arthur beamed at the notion that this would not be the only time. Not that he had ever thought this would be. Merlin was his now. Merlin's eyes flashed, but nothing seemed to happen.

"What did you do?" Merlin grinned, taking Arthur's hand, leading it back to Merlin's rim. Arthur stared up at him, eyes furrowed. Merlin took one of his fingers, pressing it inside for him. It was so warm, that was the first thing Arthur noticed. The second was how easily it has went in, and how slick the walls already were.

A whine made its way through Arthur's throat. "I had wanted to do it myself, if it was you." He pouted. Merlin giggled, leaning down to peck Arthur on his lips. That soothed the crease that had formed on Arthur's forehead, leaving him with a dopey smile. "You can next time, alright? But I want you inside me. Now." He whispered, bumping their noses together at the last word. "Is that okay with you?" He nibbled Arthur's ear, listening to Arthur's stuttered breathing with joy. 

"Yeah, yeah that's perfect." Arthur managed to croak out. 

"Good." Merlin said. He sat back up placing his hands on Arthur's chest, raising himself up. He positioned himself over Arthur's length, sinking down slowly. He took him inch by inch, grimacing until he was fully seated, flush against Arthur's lap. Arthur raised a shaky hand to the side of Arthur's face, stroking his cheek with his thumb. 

"You are so beautiful Merlin." Merlin smiled back at him, their eyes shining with the love they felt between them. He finally had the strength, raising himself with his knees, before dropping again. The two of them moaned in unison, eyes rolling to the back of their heads. "You feel so good too, so warm, Merlinn" Arthur groaned, hands falling to Merlin's waist to anchor himself. 

Merlin picked up the pace, angling his hips but failing to hit that one spot he knew would feel so good- "Arthur!" Merlin screamed, body falling forward onto Arthur's chest. Arthur had brought his knees up, using the support of his feet to thrust his hips into Merlin. He found his prostate on the first try. 

Merlin's knees were weak, unable to keep himself upright anymore. He clung himself to Arthur, who had taken over the work. He kept a steady rhythm, making sure Merlin's pleasure came before him. He aimed for his prostate with every thrust. 

"I'm close, I'm close, Arthur I am so close!" Merlin whined. So was Arthur. He reached a hand up to his mouth, wetting his own palm with his tongue. He reached between the two of them, gripping Merlin's length with his hand. Arthur matched the pace of his wrist to his hips, drilling into Merlin and stimulating him from two points. Merlin was a mess, tears running down his face, body shaking with the force of his pleasure.

"Together, Merlin. Let's come together." Merlin looked up, making contact with Arthur. He pressed his face onto Arthur's, any grace he had long gone. He shoved his tongue in, sucking on Arthur's mouth as his climax finally hit him. His whole body convulsed as he spilled himself all over Arthur's hands. 

Arthur went at the same time, filling Merlin with his seeds. He gradually slowed his thrusts, easing the two of them from their intense climaxes. He finally stopped, body boneless as he sunk into the mattress. They rested there for some time, basking in the afterglow and the intimacy they just shared. 

After some time, Arthur shifted, turning to face Merlin. He grimaced as he felt the stickiness from their joint sweat and..other fluids. He blushed, but any embarrassment fell away when he looked at Merlin's face. He was already facing Arthur, eyes shining with every unspoken feeling between them. 

"Do you think you could?" Arthur did the small hand gesture again, glancing around at the mess they had made.

"My magic shouldn't be used for such trivial things, Arthur." He said it serious, but his face gave away his true feelings.

"Please," Arthur begged, "I'm too tired right now." 

Merlin caved quickly, eyes rolling as he cleaned the two of them up with a thought. "We are moving to the other bed though. Come on, up you get." Merlin winced as he sat up. pulling Arthur up with him. Arthur went easily, face smug when he saw Merlin walking with a small limp.

"Shut up Arthur."

"I didn't say anything." 

"You didn't need to."

They were both smiling as they took the few steps over to the other bed, still made with fresh sheets. They settled in, Arthur lying on his back as Merlin wrapped himself around Arthur's side. They gazed at each other, Arthur's hands twirling Merlin's hair around into small curls.

"I really love you, Merlin. I need you to know that." Arthur spoke first, voice soft but laden with emotion. He rarely showed this side of himself to anyone. "I have dreamt about this, us, for ages. I need you, in anyway I can have you, but I need you. When you, died-" His voice choked on the last word.

"I'm alive Arthur. I'm right here. I'm not leaving you." Arthur still pulled him in closer to his body. "And for what it's worth, I love you too."

"You do?"

"Clearly, you bumpkin."

"Hey that's my word!" 

"Yeah, and it suits you perfectly." Arthur was offended. But he wouldn't have his life any other way.

"Merlin?"

"Yeah, Arthur?"

"Will you be my Court Sorcerer."

"Hmmm I don't know." Merlin feigned ignorance. Arthur pinched his side.

"Who else but The Mighty Emrys to teach and guide all magic users of Camelot."

"Don't call me that." Merlin huffed.

"Stop ignoring the question. Will you?"

"Obviously Arthur. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else than by your side."

"Good," Arthur smiled. 

They relaxed into each other's arms, fluttering off to sleep, eyes closed. But before they could slip into the world of dreams, they heard a hard pounding on the cabin doors.

"Sire? Merlin?" They heard Leon shout. Their bodies jerked up, the blankets sliding off their bodies. "Are you alright? You were supposed to return hours ago! We can't get through this door!"

"I see them! Percy come see this, they're naked! Y'all had a bit of fun, ay?" Arthur snapped his head to one of the windows where Gwaine's head was peeking over the ledge. He had a grin on his face, his eyebrows wiggling at the King. Arthur rushed to cover them up as Percival came into view, eyes distinctly turned away from the window. He dragged Gwaine off, the rest of the Knights footsteps fading in the distance. 

The King and his Sorcerer slumped back onto their pillows. One annoyed, the other beyond amused.

"It's always Gwaine, isn't it." Merlin giggled. Arthur looked over, any anger burning away as he looked his love in the eyes. He leaned over, laying a sweet kiss to his lips, taking Merlin's breath away.

"It's you Merlin. It's always you, for me. It all comes back to you."

Their story wasn't anywhere close to over. It had only truly just begun.