Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was a normal ahh day In Gardenview.

The floors were normal,the twisteds on the floors were their normal abnormal,Looey’s tail was normal,Gardenview even sounded normal.

Then Looey’s door BUSTED open as Yatta rushed in,got on her knees,then begged;
“Looey,PLEASE tell me how NOT to fumble an Emo baddie!”

Looey decided to give the most honest reply in the history of replies “I am not the person to ask,but I’ll think about how to answer your question…eventually.

Yatta then left to do whatever she normally does.

Not even a minute after the door was closed,the door BUSTS open AGAIN!

It was Blot this time

“ eiddab citegrene dna lufroloc a elbmuf ot TON woh em hcaet ESAELP uoy nac,yooeL”
(Looey,can you PLEASE teach me how NOT to fumble a colorful and energetic baddie!”)

Looey replied “Sorry Blot,but I also don’t know how to rizz.I will look into it though.”

Then Blot soon left.

Looey then walked up to his rotary phone and dialed Austin Russo’s (Astro’s toon handler) number.

He couldn’t talk to any of the handlers because they all left so this was his only way of contacting the outside world after Gardenviews doors were locked forever.

“Hello,this is Austin speaking.”

Looey said in a dramatic voice “I know what you did with Devan.”

Austin stammered “Uh…for the record I..I didn’t mean it. He was just looking kinda hot and-“

Looey interrupted, “I don’t care about what you did,I wanna know how you rizzed him up.”

Austin “So I went over to him and said [I don’t feel like writing sum corny ahh pick up line here]”

Looey replied “Wow,I guess that’s how you rizz up the baddies.”

Austin replied “It is,so can you just please NEVER CALL THIS NUMBER AGAIN,unless you’re Astro,My bosses,or someone else that’s important or gives me money.”

Austin then hung up.

Chapter Text

(Like the next day or whatever)

The circus trio,the healer duo,Rodger,Shrimpo,and Pebble were all in a run.

Dandy was selling his usual gumballs and it was normal.

Blot got the courage to lean on the elevator rail and tell Yatta “~eip eituc a era uoy esuaceb srekab stnerap ruoy erA”
(Are your parents bakers because you are a cutie pie~)

Yatta blushed and pinned Blot to the wall,making Blot blush,she then said “You’re sweet like the candy I store…and I lowkey forgot what I was going to say.”

Everyone in the elevator was unsure whether to cheer or drink bleach because of how 🌽🌽~corny~🌽🌽those pickup lines were.

Then everyone heard a growl,then everyone looked and realized that it was TWISTED PEBBLE!!!!!!!

Everyone was confused about how Twisted Pebble got into the elevator,but don’t worry,T.P. didn’t attack anyone because TWISTED PEBBLE WAS ALSO DEBATING IF HE SHOULD CHEER OR DRINK BLEACH!

Only 15 more floors of ts.

Chapter Text

The pickup lines from last chapter were so 🌽🌽~corny~🌽🌽 that it inspired Cosmo to make corn for dinner.

Shrimpo shouted “I HATE THIS CORN,IT REMINDS TOO MUCH OF THOSE CORNY LINES YALL SAID EARLIER!”

The Halloween toons were also there.Actually,all the Holiday toons were there because Dandy found the key to the holiday toon dungeon after the Gardenview shutdown.

Gourdy started talking “Shrimpo,I know you hate everything,but I had to deal with Soulvester and Ribecca using corny lines for 11 months.”

Everyone started laughing except Shrimpo,Ribecca,and Soulvester.

Soulvester slammed his hands onto the table “My lines weren’t THAT corny. ”

Gourdy responded “One time you both attempted to pin each other to the ground and said lines so corny that those lines were in my nightmares on Astro’s day off.”

Connie said to Soulvester “Back when I was in the holiday dungeon,every time I caught you and Ribecca rizzing each other with CORNY ahh lines I knew they made everyone cringe,but traumatizing children with these lines is a new low.”

Eggson muttered “Back in my day we knew how to rizz.”

Spout exclaimed “Can all of yall shut up and eat your corn!”