Chapter Text
Dick couldn’t do it.
“Robin, I do not wish to hurt you,” Starfire said. Her eyes were genuine, her words pure. Of course they were, Star never tried to lie to him. Ever. It was only him to had to lie to her.
He bit his lip, barely daring to make eye contact. He didn’t deserve to. He shouldn’t deserve to. Not when he went and got himself in this whole mess in the first place. If he had never become so obsessed with Slade, then he never would have had to make this deal. He never would be forced away from his dear friends.
Shoot her Robin, before I make you regret it.
Slade’s voice rang in Dick’s ears. It was loud, and resonant in his skull. He wanted to shut him out. He wanted to yell at Starfire to get the probes out of her body. He wanted them to be safe, and with him.
Final warning, Robin.
He had to. When Slade had first cornered him into this deal, he showed Dick just what the probes would do. It was an innocent woman. A mother of two, and a nurse at the local hospital. She was at the wrong place at the wrong time and got snatched up by Slade for his “demonstration.” She had died a violent death, just so Dick would fear that fate for his friends.
“I’m sorry, Star,” Dick said. He wished he could’ve called her Kori. It was dear name to him, but with Slade listening to his every word and watching his every action, it was too risky. He didn’t dare put her life on the line any more than he already had.
He pulled the trigger of the thermal blaster. A plasmatic red light shot out, hitting Starfire square in the chest. She let out a cry and promptly fell to the ground. Her eyes were shut. She was hurt. It was Dick’s fault.
Guards have arrived below. You failed your mission. Retreat.
Dick bit his lip. Who knew what failing a mission could possibly mean? Slade was insane, he could have a million different punishments set up in the case of failure. Just hopefully it was one where only Dick had to pay the price. He hoped nobody else would be harmed from his mistakes. His stupid, stupid, mistakes.
The other Titans had crowded around Starfire, to make sure that she was alright and alive.
Good, Dick thought. They’ll look after her, and she’ll be good as new soon.
He pulled his grappling hook out and was about to swing away. That’s when he locked eyes with Cyborg. His mouth was slightly open, as if he was about to say something. Maybe he was going to try to convince Dick to stay. To come home. Dick couldn’t. He considered mouthing something to Cyborg but ultimately decided against it. Slade had eyes everywhere. Even the smallest movement risked the Titans’ lives.
The grappling hook landed, and Dick swung away. He couldn’t even wish them farewell. He couldn’t tell Cyborg that he believed in him. He couldn’t tell Beast Boy that he was capable of great things, or that Raven was not nearly as evil as she thought she was. And most of all, he couldn’t tell Star that he loved her. Maybe now he would never.
She was his star-crossed soulmate. And now they were being torn apart. It wasn’t even a tragedy, or a cruel act of fate. It was simply Dick’s fault. All his.
He should have done more to help the Titans and taken a moment to listen to their advice. He shouldn’t have gotten so obsessed. Maybe he should’ve stayed home from that last mission. They were right. Slade made him act rashly, and poorly. Slade brought out the worst in him. How long until Dick became Slade?
---
Victor had run every test imaginable. That blaster hurt like crazy, but Kori had come out of it relatively unscathed. Maybe it was her healing factor. Injuries had never taken too long to get better.
If only it could heal her mental scars, as well. One of the very first people she had met when she first came to Earth was Dick. Dick had been the first of them to show her kindness. He tried to help her, to free her. She hadn’t quite understood then. She wasn’t used to be treated that way.
Over the time they’d spent together since, Kori had found herself growing quite close to Dick. She thought she knew him better than she knew herself. She thought they had a bond that went deeper than teammates, maybe even deeper than friendship. Obviously, the other Titans were upset too, but none of them had ever gotten nearly as close as Kori had to him. None of them relied on him as much as she.
Kori bit her lip. There was no point in ruminating on the personal issues of his betrayal. They needed to discuss it as a group and try to ignore that it was Dick who did all this. No, he was Dick no longer. Simply Robin. Civilian names amongst heroes were reserved for friends, and friends alone. Robin was clearly no longer a friend.
“You feeling okay, Kori?” Victor checked, after the final test finished. “You’re fine based off of these tests, but you look horrible.”
Kori met his eye briefly, before looking away. “All the hurt is inside. I am all right, physically.”
Victor nodded, knowingly. “Yeah… it’s going to be rough. Come on. We better go talk with the team. Gar and Raven are in the kitchen waiting for us.”
Kori stood slowly and made her way to the door with Victor. They walked in silence together to the kitchen, where sure enough, Garfield and Raven were waiting. They all stood in a circle, together. But all were looking down at their feet, not daring to begin the conversation or dive into what they inevitably would have to face.
Kori finally took initiative, and said, “We must discuss Robin.”
“I don’t want to believe Dick’s evil, man,” Gar replied. “But I think we might have to.”
“I just don’t get it,” Raven started. “Dick was so desperate to catch Slade, to bring him to justice. And he was raised by Batman. How could he just… turn evil?”
“You’re right, Rae, it makes no sense,” Gar definitively said.
“But he shot Kori,” Victor countered. “Obviously his loyalties have been severed.”
“Or tested,” Raven offered.
“I do not think he wanted to shoot me,” Kori added. “Before he did so, he apologised. And he hesitated for a very long time.”
Kori didn’t want to think the worst of Robin. Not when their history ran so deep. And she desperately wanted to make sure that the other Titans didn’t jump to the worst either. Raven, too, seemed to be trying to find the good in him. But Victor seemed to have already given up on Robin. And Victor was their new leader, without Robin around. So how long would it be until the rest of them followed?
“I see,” Victor said. “Well, until we have figured everything out… I hate to say this. But we need to think of Dick as a criminal. He is allied with Slade, he should be treated as such. Maybe we can try bring him home… but if we run into him again… don’t try talk him out of everything. Don’t go easy on him because he’s our friend. Okay?”
Everyone nodded. But the words were left unsaid. Was Robin truly evil?
---
Dick tried to slink back into Slade’s base as quietly as possible, hoping that if he went unnoticed, he may escape persecution. It was a foolish thought, and he knew that at some point he was going to have to face Slade regardless. But maybe he’d get a few moments to himself, where he could figure out where to go next. What to do next.
Unfortunately, Slade always seemed to be one step ahead of him, no matter what he did.
“Robin.”
Dick cursed under his breath, realising that his attempt had failed miserably. He turned to face Slade.
“You failed your mission.”
“I’m sorry,” Dick said before he could help himself.
Slade began circling him, like a predator preparing to pounce on their prey. “Tsk, tsk, tsk. I thought you were better than that, Robin. I thought you were stronger.”
“I’m sorry.”
It’s all he could say. There was no justification. Not one that Slade would find acceptable, at least. He hadn’t been with Slade long, only a day so far. But he already knew just how cruel and unforgiving Slade could be. And while he had full knowledge of what would happen if he ever disobeyed Slade, Dick had no clue what could happen if he failed a task. Even if he tried to comply. Guess he’d find out now.
Slade’s eyes narrowed – a small action almost completely hidden by his mask. A chill went down Dick’s spine.
“You will not eat tonight,” Slade sentenced.
Dick couldn’t help but feel relieved. At least he was the only one who would be punished for his actions – this time. Dick had never gone without food for long, but he figured that as long as he tried harder tomorrow, it should be easy enough to overcome.
Slade began to walk away.
“Oh, and Robin,” he said, as an afterthought. “Remember. I hear every word. And when I say, do not talk to your friends, I mean it.”
Slade then melted into the shadows. Dick narrowed his eyes, trying to see where he went. But the man was almost as stealthy as Batman himself, and Dick could not find him.
Dick was left alone. He found himself in solitude most of the time in this place. And there was no proper space to rest – no beds, or seats, or anything comfortable. Last night, had had just found a quiet corner, where he leant with his back against the wall. It was the worst sleep of his life. He had hoped that he may not have to do it again that night, but it seemed like he would.
He wondered where Slade went. Surely, he did not sleep here. Slade could treat Dick awfully, and keep him in terrible conditions, but why would he trap himself in them, too? No, Slade must have someplace with a warm, snug bed, and food fit for the king he thought himself to be.
Dick wondered if he would ever be treated to that.
It was these moments alone where he felt the most regret. If he were home, he’d be playing games with Gar and Vic, or attempting to chat with Kori. Raven was usually around, observing quietly. She’d pipe up sometimes, but she preferred to read and just enjoy the Titans’ presence. And when they were all tired, Dick would have a soft bed to sleep in. Surrounded by all his things and pictures. There were family photos, that had him and Bruce and Alfred. There were photos of him with his birth parents, those were some of the ones he valued most. The phone that Alfred left him with, so he could call home each week. Oh, shit, the weekly phone call. That would alert Alfred right away that something wasn’t right. Dick didn’t want Alfred panicking. His poor soul…
There were so many people effected by Dick’s series of bad decisions. All his loved ones… how long before they all resented him? How long until they only saw him as Slade?