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Fifth and Johnson.
Those were the words that had landed Janus in his current predicament.
It hadn't even been his fault this time.
"Oh no, you have got to be kidding me, Janus Dorian Lial. As I have said time and time again stay out of my district without getting permission first.”
Using his full name was low, but using his old last name was worse. Sure, legally he kept his last name, but that was a paper-only situation. Logan using it was probably the worst thing he could've done.
At least, that's how Janus felt until his lovers got home.
"Logan, stop," Janus said, practically pleading as his husband paced the living room.
"No! This can't keep happening Janus! I've told you over and over to let me handle my own district and you refuse to listen-"
"I didn't plan for it to be in your district, Logan. Virgil was never supposed to hit that part of town-"
"Then why didn't you pull him?!"
"Because he was in too far! I wasn't going to risk his life just to keep you happy!"
"So crossing a line we've both been over was worth it?!"
"It kept him alive!"
"He's handled worse, you would have been able to if you'd been truly worried about it!"
"If you would just listen to me for once-"
"For once?! I'm always listening to you Janus, and look what keeps happening!"
"I'm not going to risk someone's life to feed whatever ego boost you get out of handling things yourself!"
"It has nothing to do with my ego, it's about a serious problem that's going to get one of us killed if we aren't careful."
"Which is exactly why I couldn't pull him! You think I don't know when something is serious?"
"Clearly not, if this isn't serious enough to listen to me then maybe you should get that divorce attorney after all."
Janus froze. He'd made the joke before, sure, but this...
Logan tensed, clearly sensing that he'd gone too far despite the anger still toiling inside him.
"...I am done with this. I have work in the morning, I'm going to bed."
He turned, leaving Janus in shocked, agonizing silence.
Part of him hoped Roman would come out of the bedroom. That either of them would come out of the bedroom. But they didn't. Even Roman stayed in the room, not even coming out for the usual tea both of them would share every night.
Janus was alone again.
His hands shook. The yellow gloves were usually a comfort, but right now Janus couldn't stand the sight of them.
He threw them across the room, then his hat and finally his cane. It hit one of the kitchen stools at just the wrong angle and the whole thing kit the floor hard enough to make him flinch.
"If you're going to have a tantrum then you should get a hotel for the night," Logan's voice was cold as he passed from the bedroom to the bathroom across the hall, not even bothering to look at Janus. "I won't have you messing up my work more than you already have."
Fine. if that was really what Logan wanted, then who was Janus to deny it. At least then he could break down without getting yelled at.
He stood up, gathering his cane and putting his shoes back on. He tucked his gloves into his pocket for now and placed his hat back on. He didn't bother saying goodbye.
Maybe he should have.
When Janus woke up, it was to a throbbing pain in his skull and the immediate awareness of his lack of mobility.
He wasn't a fool, it didn't take more than a couple seconds for him to realize exactly what had happened. He'd never made it to a hotel that night.
He didn't show any sign of movement, trying to keep his breathing slow. Unfortunately, that didn't seem to matter as within minutes he received a sharp slap to the face.
"There he is. Such a pretty face for such a traitor," A low voice said. Janus vaguely recognized it, but not enough to place it. There was a blindfold over his eyes, which Janus had to think was a good thing at least. They wouldn't worry about being seen if they were going to kill him right away.
He gritted his teeth, staying silent even when his head was yanked back hard by his hair.
"What, not gonna ask what's goin' on?" another voice asked. "Too bad, we really wanted to talk about it."
"Oi, just get the knife and do what we need to do," the first voice snapped. "If we're gonna record this lets just get it over with."
Janus's head was let go, but only for a moment. Then he was pulled up again and the sharp coldness of a knife pressed into his throat.
"Just sit quiet and pretty like this and nobody has to get hurt," The second man said again, right into Janus' ear.
"Get your hands off me," Janus growled. The man holding him yanked harder, forcing a gasp out of him as he was pressed hard into the back of the chair he was bound to.
"There's the fight we were lookin' for," he said, trailing the knife down to the edge of Janus's collarbone. "That'll make this so much more fun."
"Alright, video's goin'," the first voice said again.
That's when the knife started to cut.
Logan didn't hear from Janus for the first few days. That much wasn't unusual, Janus went silent all the time and him being mad certainly didn't help. What was unusual was Roman not hearing anything. They all knew the dangers of their work, so they always tried to check in with each other at least once a day.
"Logan, I don't like this," Roman said on their lunch break. "He won't answer, even when we know he should."
"I don't know why you're reading into this so much Roman. Janus is fine, he's just sulking again."
"I don't think he is Logan. It feels like something's wrong."
Logan sighed, about to explain again that this was normal behavior for Janus, when his phone buzzed. It was a text from an unknown number and what it said made Logan's heart sink.
Found a poor little snake, all alone...
Logan's gut burned, the same way it did when he knew he was missing something about a case.
Patton came running into Logan's office then, his eyes wide.
"You need to see this, now."
There was a box in one of the interrogation rooms, and Patton didn't follow them back in. Dread caught in Logan's throat, rendering him speechless as he stepped forward with Roman to see what was in the box.
Roman screamed, stumbling back into the wall and sinking down to the floor. But Logan couldn't move.
They were gloves. Janus' gloves. and they were covered in blood, along with the sickening sight of several fingernails.
There was a note on top of them, and Logan picked it up with a trembling hand.
Lotta snakes running around. Too bad this one couldn't keep his mouth shut.
Janus didn't know how long he'd been there. He just knew that there were probably several broken bones, he was on the verge of dehydration, and something was definitely infected because his blood shouldn't feel like it was on fire.
He'd tried screaming, or bargaining, anything really, until they threatened to cut his tongue out if he didn't shut up. He'd already tried to get himself free and only managed to make both wrists bleed and earn himself a baseball bat to the knee.
Why hadn't anyone come for him? Surely it's been at least a few days, and both of his partners were cops. Surely they had to be looking right now, right?
Unless they thought he'd left. Or that he was avoiding them. It's not like he hadn't gone radio silent before on a particular assignment.
If he ever got out of this he was going to get a tracker surgically implanted into his hand. Assuming his kidnappers didn't make good on their threat of sending body parts to the police station.
The door opened suddenly, Janus barely raising his head before a hand clamped down around his mouth.
"You make one noise and I start takin' fingers, you understand?" The man growled into his ear. Janus nodded what little he could against the man's hand, straining to hear anything that might clue him into what was going on.
He could hear talking, distantly. What he in a house then? Maybe a basement? The blindfold hadn't come off once so Janus had no clue where he was being held, but if there were voices close enough to hear then it had to be a house of some kind, right?
There was the sound of a door closing, followed by footsteps above him. Definitely a house then. If they were keeping him quiet then someone else must be here, someone who didn't know about him.
If he had any strength left, Janus would have tried to fight. As it was, he could barely hold his own head up and with the lack of water he doubted his voice would work even if he did risk it.
"-oyfriend is just downstairs, tryin' to get our baby to sleep," The other man holding Janus hostage said, passing by what Janus could only assume was the door. "We just adopted her a few days ago, such a sweet thing."
"Most children are."
Janus froze. He would recognize Roman's voice anywhere.
They were here. He couldn't let them leave, they couldn't leave him here-
Janus mastered all his remaining strength and bit down hard on the hand over his mouth. The guy swore and yanked his hand away, but Janus couldn't get his stupid voice to work before he was being yanked back by the hair so hard his chair fell backwards. He couldn't stop the scream this time, he hadn't been able to hold them back in days(?).
"What was that?" Roman's voice asked. Janus tried again to get any actual words out before the hand came back over his mouth, this time with a sickly sweet cloth that he held over Janus' mouth and nose. No, no no no they couldn't knock him out, not now, not when Roman was so close-
He jerked his body to the side, dropping the chair down with a second thud and managing to get a good breath in before his face was re-covered.
"Stupid bitch!" The man hissed at him. "You're losing your whole fucking hand for that one."
He could hear his other captor talking, but the man holding on to him dragged the chair back up and wrapped his hand around Janus' neck.
"We have reasonable cause to search this house," Logan's voice said. Logan, god Janus would never not listen to Logan again if they would just open the fucking door-
There was blind shouting, then a gun firing, and Janus' hands were yanked from the chair hard enough to reopen the wounds on his wrists, before they were being tied behind him instead. He could feel his focus drifting, but he couldn't take a breath now. Not when he was so close.
He fell back as his captor dragged him, his ankles still bound together. There was still a hand on his neck and it tightened when the door opened.
"Janus!" Roman shouted, and Janus managed a soft whimper before the grip on his neck tightened. The cloth fell away from his face, thank god, only to be replaced with the cold muzzle of a gun at his temple.
"Drop your weapons, officers," The man said coldly. "I'd hate to get the uniforms dirty."
"Let him go," Logan said, and Janus' breath hitched in his already restricted throat. He could barely breath as it was, with the man practically holding him up by the neck. He couldn't even stand up on his own.
The grip around his neck tightened even more and he let out a strangled, choked whine that made his captor laugh.
"Aww, not so tough now, are you snake?"
"Let him go right now!"
"Or what? Seems like you don't have any options, officer. You shoot me and say bye-bye to your little snitch."
Janus gasped, trying to breath and fighting weakly against the man's arm.
"Stop it!" Roman shouted. "He can't breathe, dammit!"
"Guess you'd better drop those weapons pretty fast."
There was a clatter as one of them dropped his gun, but then the hand tightened even more.
"What, don't care enough about this one to let him breathe?"
"Logan drop the fucking gun!"
"No."
Janus whimpered again, trying to turn his head and get any break, any last gasp of air-
A gunshot rang out, followed by another.
Janus slammed against the floor with his ears ringing, coughing and gasping as he curled in on himself. Was he dying? It didn't feel like dying, if he ignored the god-knows-how-many injuries he already had. He couldn't hear past the ringing, everything hurt, had he been shot?
A hand grabbed for his arm and he flinched, jerking away with what had meant to be words, but Janus didn't know if he'd actually been able to get anything out. Slowly, slowly, his hearing came back to him as another hand brushed against his face. He jerked back from that too and hit his head on what he was guessing was the wall?
"-us, Janus, Janus it's okay, it's just me, you're okay," Roman's voice slowly filtered through the fading ringing, and Janus' breath hitched for a second time. When the hands came up to his face this time he didn't pull away, and gentle, familiar fingers finally pulled the blindfold off his head.
He didn't open his eyes right away. He could feel the tears falling down his face now, along with the burning that just barely any light was doing to him.
"Fuck, Janus...god, you look horrible, I'm so sorry..." Roman's voice broke at the end, and he brushed Janus' disgusting hair out of his face. It was matted from days without a shower and plenty of blood, and Janus never wanted to look at a mirror ever again.
"Janus...please, look at us," Logan said, his voice more strained than Janus had ever heard it.
Carefully, he opened his eyes and adjusted until he could finally look up. They were both there, kneeling over him with terrified expressions that only got worse as he looked at them.
Janus couldn't hold it back anymore; he burst into painful, dry sobs.
Logan didn't bother untying him, instead just cutting through the ropes before taking one of Janus' hands.
Everything ached, and Janus couldn't help the strangled cry that broke through when Roman tried to lift him up.
"Fuck, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry-"
"Roman, we have to move him, the ambulance won't make it here in time with how badly he's bleeding."
He was bleeding? Janus looked down, noticing that several of his injuries were bleeding again including a nasty stab to his femoral artery that Janus had barely managed to stay conscious for while it was happening.
"Shit- God, Janus I'm so sorry for this-"
Roman picked him up bridal style, sending a whole new level of agony through Janus's body. He wasn't even sure the sound he made was human anymore, and Roman was crying as he whispered apologies.
"Get him in the car, we need to hurry."
Roman followed Logan out, trying his hardest not to jostle Janus too much. Honestly though, that much was impossible. At the very least Janus had a broken knee, and probably a broken arm too. Possibly a concussion from the chair falling, considering it felt like only a second later they were in the car and his head was in Roman's lap.
Janus moved his head slightly, just enough to look up at Roman.
"Say something J," Roman pleaded softly. "Anything, please..."
"...Lo..." He coughed out, his voice scratchy and barely above a whisper. "I....'m sorry..."
Logan made a pained noise in the back of his throat, and Roman ran a hand through Janus' hair again.
"Shhh, there's nothing to be sorry for Jan," he said softly. "It'll be okay, I promise."
Janus leaned into the touch, closing his eyes again. He was so tired...
"Janus, stay awake love, please stay awake."
Janus tried, he really did. He was just so...tired...
The last time he fully woke up, it was in a hospital bed. Honestly, he wasn't sure what he was expecting, but it wasn't Logan clinging to one hand and crying into the edge of the bed with Roman next to him.
His throat burned, everything burned really, and just the thought of moving make Janus want to throw up. Still, he managed a small squeeze to Logan's hand.
The man's head snapped up, eyes wide and red with tears still falling down his face. Janus offered him a microscopic smile.
"Janus." Logan said his name like a prayer. "You're awake."
Roman looked up, gripping the sheets in front of him.
Janus tried to speak and ended up in a violent coughing fit.
"Don't try to talk," Roman said quickly, reaching for a glass of water. "Here, try and get some of this down."
Janus managed a few tiny sips, immediately wanting to down the entire glass and then an entire swimming pool.
"Are you..." Logan asked hesitantly, his voice soft. "I...how do you feel?"
Janus grimaced, clearing his throat before trying to speak again.
"Hell."
Roman burst into laughter that quickly dissolved into crying, and Logan wiped his eyes.
"I'm...I'm so sorry Janus. If I'd realized sooner..."
Janus looked away, taking in all the bandages and casts on him. His left arm, left knee, and right ankle all had full casts, but the splint his left shin was in didn't look too good either.
"I never wanted this," Logan continued. "Never, I'm sorry I- I shouldn't have told you to leave, I-"
"Lo," Janus said softly, his voice cracking slightly. "Stop. Not your fault."
Logan's breathing hitched, and it stung to see his usually composed husband so visibly emotional.
"I never should have let you leave. I never should have said what I did. I-I've been thinking about it for over a week, how if you were gone and the last thing I'd said had been..."
Roman sniffled, wiping his own eyes and placing his hands over where Logan was clutching Janus'.
"We found him Lo, it'll be okay."
Janus managed a small nod, squeezing Logan's hands again.
He'd be okay. They all would, eventually.