Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Rodrick was no stranger to detention at North Shore High. It was a regular occurrence for him to get caught skipping class, talking in the middle of a test, or admittedly even getting caught smoking weed on school grounds once or twice (sorry mom).

The room was always scattered with the usual suspects, some asshole jock in there for skipping class, one of the nerdy kids taking a seat because they got caught doing someone else’s homework, even one of the cool Asians thrown in for who knows what. Rodrick had familiarized himself with the regulars like himself and knew the drill on how to pass time quickly, AKA song writing or sleeping.

Ms. Norbury stood at the front of the small classroom, shuffling papers around on her desk and glancing at the clock on the wall above the door. One hour detention was nothing to Roderick but unfortunately, he had landed himself an hour every day for the rest of this week. Who knew Coach Carr was so sensitive when you brought up the fact of him staring at the underage Asian girls in gym class?

“Rodrick, it looks like you might be the only student in here today. Most of our students & teachers have been so busy with homecoming, they haven’t had time for their usual shenanigans or time for catching them in the act. We can get started in one minute, you know the drill.” Ms. Norbury straightened her glasses, marking her attendance sheet as Roderick shifted in his chair, getting comfortable. He did indeed know the drill. As much as wasting an hour of his time sucked, Ms. Norbury was probably the best person to host detention. She was often in and out of the room and didn’t give much care to what the students were doing as long as they were quiet and in a chair.

Rodrick propped his feet up on a chair in front of him, slumping over and spreading his legs to get comfortable. He had been the only one in attendance for detention a handful of times, though it was a rare occurrence. Being the only one here would make the time pass slower as there was no people watching to be done but at least it’d be quiet enough to sleep.

He had just began to lay his head down on the desk in front of him when Ms. Norbury spoke, “Miss George, I’m surprised to see you in here but welcome to Wednesday detention.”

Rodrick spared a glance looking up and almost fell out of his chair. This was almost unbelievable. He had never seen her in detention, most of the school squished beneath her rule, no teacher dared to give her detention. She must’ve royally pissed someone off to end up here on a Wednesday during homecoming season.

Regina George, perfect blonde hair & body in a short pink skirt with a matching cardigan, in the flesh. By the looks of it, she was also surprised to be attending detention. Her flawless face was marked by an ugly scowl as she took a seat a few chairs in front of him diagonally & threw her pink purse down at the desk. She said nothing but her body told all that she was not happy to be here.

“Alright, no phones and stay in your seats. The hour has started.” The teacher clarified, grabbing a stack of papers and making her way to the back of the room, probably heading to the copy machine next door. Rodrick watched her leave and turned again, staring at the back of Regina’s perfect blonde head.

What could she have possibly done to land in detention? Everyone knew Regina was the schools Queen B, students and teachers alike falling to obey her ruling while the other half just avoided her completely, much like Rodrick. It had been that way since middle school if not earlier, Regina set the trends and ruled the land. Rodrick was totally in his world with his band & own group of friends so he didn’t pay much mind. He always spared her a second glance when they crossed in the hallway or lunch room, not out of awe or fear but just because who doesn’t like some eye candy?

Set asides Regina’s personality and she was most definitely his type on paper, though he didn’t mind the mouth on her too much either. Every inch of her was manicured, soft and perfect. You’d think she was an angel sent down from heaven before she opened her mouth to say the meanest words you’d ever hear come out of a petite blondes body.

“Why are you staring at me, Green Day wannabe?” Regina spat at him, shifting uncomfortably in her seat & flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder. Rodrick hadn’t realized he was lost in thought but chose to overcome the embarrassment of being caught by spitting someone right back.

“Just thinking about how your hair usually looks better than it does today. Did you use a cheaper shampoo this week, princess? Looking a bit dry to me.” Roderick threw back, watching her jaw drop in shock.

Every interaction they had with eachother since middle school followed along those same lines. Regina thought he was a punk rock weirdo and he did his best to admire the view from a far, otherwise it ended in a tussle of insults which resulted in them reverting back to ignoring each other. Usually it worked out fine for them, every person had heard an insult from Regina at some point and Roderick definitely was not sensitive to them.

Though he was nearly certain she truly disdained him, Rodrick sometimes looked for ways to get her attention & get under her skin. He liked to watch her reaction and see what new insult she could come up with on the spot. Negative attention was better than no attention at all, right?

Regina scoffed, adjusting her bangs on her forehead. “As if! Yours isn’t looking too great yourself. 1980 called, you missed your audition for Metallica.”

“So you’ve noticed how my hair looks? Regina, you shouldn’t have, I’m flattered.” Rodrick teased back, impressed she even knew any references for Metallica. Admittedly, he’d been experimenting with the punk rock look lately, keeping his hair messy & throwing on eyeliner a time or two, usually not at school but all the big leagues did it so who was he to not try to pull it off?

Regina scoffed again, clearly taken by surprise at the mere thought of her noticing how his hair looked. She flashed her back towards him, tucking her knees back underneath her chair. Mission successful. As much as the blonde girl ignored him, Roderick was okay with that because simply put, he liked the chase.

Was he delusional enough to ever think Regina would give him more than a passing glance, if even that? No, not really. But if he could even get in her head enough to know she’d think about their interaction the following evening, rehashing how annoying or how much of a loser he is, Rodrick considered it a success. You have to plant the seed before receiving the fruits of your labor or whatever, right?

He stood up, moving 2 seats up to get closer to her, not missing the way she shot him a puzzles look over her shoulder. He stared at the back side of her head, waiting for acknowledgment he knew was coming. As much as she seemingly disliked Roderick, she would never miss a chance to engage in an argument with him. She ignored him as he moved another seat up, sitting diagonally from her and stared forward until she couldn’t bear the staring anymore. “Can I help you, freak? You’re so close I can smell your cologne.”

“So, you’ve noticed the way I smell? Regina, really, I’m flattered, this is the nicest you’ve ever been to me. After detention, why don’t we take this disagreement and hash it out in my car?” Rodrick spoke, dropping his voice as he said the last sentence. Regina gasped, the surprise evident on her face at his bravery.

“HOW DARE—“ At that moment, Ms. Norbury waltzed back in, glancing between the two teenagers as she held her stack of papers in her arms. Rodrick appeared aloof, fiddling with his notebook on the desk and lightly tapping his pencil to a beat while Regina turned her face away. He didn’t miss the way her red cheeks flushed & she fidgeted with her hands as Ms. Norbury sat back at the desk at the front. As soon as she resumed clicking away on her laptop, Roderick began to write on a piece of notebook paper.

I’ve noticed the way you stare at me, Regina
Is the punk rock look doing it for you?

Rodrick quietly pulled the piece of paper out of his notebook & slid it across the floor, towards Regina’s heeled feet. Chances are, she could ignore the paper & sit quietly for the next 35 minutes but he knew curiosity would get the cat.

The note was more so to get under her skin more than anything but there was some truth to it. He’d noticed the way her eyes lingered on him in a crowded hallway, now with disgust or interest? He never knew but it didn’t hurt to tease as if it was the latter. Roderick had known her throughout the years & her type was the farthest from Rodrick he could imagine. Snooty, rich jock who fit right in with her clique. Unfortunately for him, Regina was his type. To a T. Even her being a total bitch lured him in.

Regina hesitantly moved the paper forward with her foot, slowly reaching down slightly to grab the paper. When she did, her shirt & cardigan hiked up, showing off a slim piece of her lower back. Rodrick flushed, shifting in his chair. He didn’t care that he was staring anymore, the view too tempting but he looked away, willing his body to relax. Damn teenage hormones.

He watched the side of her head as she read it then quickly pulled out a pencil & began to scribble. It was a minute or two before she put the paper down, doing her best to pass it back to him with her foot. Roderick dragged it the rest of the way, eagerly grabbing it off the floor.

You are truly a pig.

Please don’t think for one second that I have given you a passing glance or noticed you in any way, shape, or form

AS IF!!!

Rodrick smiled to himself, pleased with the fact that no matter how much she “thought” he was repulsive, she couldn’t resist responding to his notes at the risk of getting herself in trouble in detention. He looked back at her, still facing forward as if she never wrote him back at all. She picked at her fingernails & stroked her long hair, aloof as ever.

He quickly wrote back, thinking of a way to get one last reaction out of her in detention. The hour would be up soon and he wanted to leave a lasting memory for her to rehash at home on the phone with her girlfriends, the way he knew she did.

Quickly writing & folding the note to pass it back, he shoved it forward with his foot again, a little less discreetly than the first time but his body was buzzing, waiting for Regina’s reaction and Ms. Norbury was as wrapped up in her work as ever. She would never think Rodrick Heffley and Regina George were secretly passing notes to each other in detention. That’d be like Rodrick trying out for football or Regina being caught not wearing pink on a Wednesday.

He watched her quietly unfold it and waited for the reaction.

I like the way please appears in your handwriting, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say that.

Why don’t we try a “please Rodrick” out loud after detention?

Regina let out a little screech, crumbling up the paper and turning to rip him a new one. Just as she opened her mouth to speak, Ms. Norbury shot up from her desk. “Are you two passing notes? Unbelievable! You’ve just bought yourself detention tomorrow, Regina George! Rodrick Heffley, I will see you here early for detention tomorrow so you can clean the whiteboard erasers!”

“Ms. Norbury, it’s not—“ Regina tried to defend herself but Ms. Norbury shushed her immediately. The blonde sank back in her chair, shoulders sagged.

“Do I need to read the note aloud?” Rodrick stayed silent while Regina reluctantly shook her head. “Then, I will see both of you tomorrow. You are dismissed.”

Rodrick picked up his notebook and pencil while Regina huffed, throwing her purpose over her shoulder, crumbled note still in her hand. They both quickly strolled out of the classroom, turning to head in opposite directions in the hallway before Regina turned to him.

“Thanks a lot, freak! Now I’ll be stuck with you tomorrow too because of your vulgar note!” Regina’s cheeks heated in anger and Roderick felt a little twang of remorse in his head that was quickly replaced with a lightbulb idea. He wished they’d been able to write more today but the prospect of tomorrow’s detention sent a rush of excitement down his spine. He said nothing, his smirk clearly irritating Regina who was waiting for him to defend himself or apologize.

“I can’t stand you!” She scoffed one last remark, crossing her arms and sashaying down the opposite hallway to the parking lot.

As annoyed as she was, Rodrick didn’t miss the way she held the crumbled note tightly in her hand, passing the opportunity to throw it away in every trash can she passed.

Chapter Text

Thursday detention flew by with no incidents as the room was somehow packed with 8 students, leaving little room to bother Regina. She continuously glanced over his shoulder to see if he was looking at her & it scratched an itch deep inside of him. He liked the attention she was giving him, positive or negative and the thought of him driving her crazy the way she drove him crazy had him riding a high the rest of the week.

By the end of the day Friday, it was evident Rodrick wasn’t the only one catching any glimpse he could of the other person in the hallway. He’d find himself standing at his locker and feel eyes on the back of his head. When he turned, Regina’s eyes were averting to a suddenly interesting spot on the floor. Like he said, he didn’t mind one bit.

When the bell rung and students flooded the hall, heading to their cars, Rodrick caught a glimpse of long legs followed by a mini skirt walking towards the parking lot & quickened his pace to catch up with the blonde girl. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were avoiding me. I’ve barely seen you in the halls the last 2 days.”

Regina turned, rolling her green eyes when they met his. “Do you ever stop being annoying or is it your full time job these days?”

“Only around people worth annoying.” She rolled her eyes at that too but he didn’t miss the fleeting smile she gave him at that remark.

Usually, Rodrick would never put this much effort into talking to a girl. He had no problem being a loud mouth, bothersome nuisance to girls, especially peppy blonde ones, but to follow her to her car just to get a chance to talk to her?

This was pathetic, even for him, yet he couldn’t help himself. If Regina really hated him, she’d have screamed at him to stop following her or have one of her minions start a rumor to humiliate him. She’d never say it aloud but Rodrick had a feeling she had a soft spot for him, whether she liked it or not. He knew he had one for her, no matter how bitchy she was towards him.

“What do you want from me, Rodrick?” Regina asked, pausing her steps a few feet from her pink car. He didn’t even park in the parking lot, he’d have to walk all the way around to the front to find his truck.

Now that was a good question. Why was he putting in all this effort? To just annoy her? He couldn’t quite put his finger on the outcome he was hoping for but he knew one thing for certain, he liked being in her space, so he told her just that. “Careful, princess. That glare you’re giving me could crack a mirror. A guy can’t want to spend time with you to maybe become friends?”

“Friends?” Regina scoffed, crossing her arms across her chest. As much as he liked to catch her smiling at him, he liked the frustrated look just as much. She walked closer to her car but stopped by the driver side door.

“Unless you’re suggesting more?” Rodrick smirked, placing his hand on her car door handle to open it for her. He might purposefully get on her nerves but he was nothing if not a gentleman. She gave him a funny look, adjusting her purse on her shoulder. He was expecting more disgust at his comment so the calm reaction from her was puzzling.

“As if. Why are you so obsessed with me?” She smirked back, opening the door wider as his hand fell from the frame. Obsessed with you? Probably. The banter between them was changing from bothersome towards her to mutual and Rodrick was ready to keep it going.

“I know you’re going to Cadys party tonight and while I’m not technically invited, if you extended the invite to me, I think you wouldn’t regret it.” The offer was ridiculous, there was no reason why Regina would want Rodrick to show up to a party full of her clique, much less to be her plus one to said party but he wanted to gauge her reaction. “I wouldn’t have to come as your date or anything, just get me on the invite list.”

Rodrick fully expected her to scoff or roll her eyes and shoo him away but as she sank down into the driver seat of her car, she stared blankly ahead like she was actually considering the proposition. She smiled then stopped then smiled again & turned to him, her grin looking mischievous. “That sounds like fun and all but only if you beg.”

Rodrick reeled back like he had been slapped, which he might as well have with the way the feeling of shock washed over him. Eyebrows furrowed, he searched Regina’s face for any sign of sarcasm but found none, only a soft smile on her face as her eyes stared back into him. “You’ve gotta be kidding me, right?”

Regina shrugged, folding her knees into her seat & turned to put her keys into her car. “It was worth a try. I thought you’d want it more than that. Move so I can shut my door.” Rodrick stood frozen, still waiting for her to turn & laugh, but she stared ahead, waiting for him to move so she could leave. People were passing them to head to their own cars, some giving looks of confusion or curiosity on why Regina George was talking to Rodrick Heffley, even he couldn’t find the answer to that question.

Weighing the pros and cons in his head, Rodrick wondered if his self respect outweighed the benefits of getting to spend more time around Regina or if he should just call it a night & go home to practice his drums like every Friday night. As humiliating as it was to literally beg Regina, there was a part of him that felt a tingle go down his spine. He had never been a dominant person, besides to teach his brother Greg how to survive being a teenager, but he had never been a beggar either. Was it worth it?

Rodrick swallowed his pride & put both his hands on Regina’s car door frame, leaning down to meet her in her seat. She turned to look at him, mischief sparkling in her eyes (not a bad look for her) as she tried to hide a smile. “Please, Regina, let me come to this party.” She gave him a look, egging him on. “Please, I’m begging.”

“I’ll see you there at 9.” She buckled her seatbelt & shooed him away to shut her door.

***
Rodrick had been ready by 8pm, doing a full 30 minute shower, much to his mom’s surprise, and switching shirts 4 times before settling on his usual black short sleeved shirt with black jeans. He took another 15 minutes to do his hair, combing it down the messing it up then flattening it again then roughing it up again countless times until it looked okay. He debated on eyeliner for another 10 minutes, applied deodorant twice, debated smoking to calm his nerves then decided against it because he didn’t want to make a fool of himself. Maybe Regina didn’t like potheads and it would turn her off, though when had he cared what other people thought of his habits up til now? Apparently, starting now he did, at least when it came to Regina.

As confident as Rodrick was, he knew he wasn’t exactly Regina’s type. He was sure Aaron, her ex boyfriend, would be at this party. He was the boy next door, straight A’s to get into Baylor type of guy, the exact opposite of Rodrick. So who was he even fooling? Maybe he’d show up to this party just to be ditched by Regina and humiliate himself but the 1% chance that she did show up and at least talk to him kept him going.

At 9pm sharp, he made his way downstairs to mom standing in the kitchen, hands on her hips with Manny in his high chair, eating who knows what. “I can’t believe you showered for a full 30 minutes & put on a clean shirt without me heckling you. Is there a girl I should know about?”

“Mom, please stop! I told you I just felt like it. I’ll be back before midnight.” She huffed, a small smile on her face as she turned away from him, waving goodbye. Rodrick raced to his truck, sliding in and slamming the door behind him. He had seen the flyers Cady had passed out with her address on them and he drove the 10 minutes to her house before parking behind a long line of cars lining the streets.

Rodrick talked himself down before pulling the keys out of the ignition and stepping out onto the street. He recognized the house, having driven in this neighborhood before and easily walked up the steps to the front door. There were people in the front yard and hanging around the front door, coming in and out. He was only 10 minutes late but the party seemed to be in mostly full swing. He took a deep breath before pushing the door open. If all else failed, he could find his cousin Janis, who always managed to sneak into these things despite never making it on the invite list and at least try to enjoy his Friday night.

Plenty of familiar faces were in the crowd, though not all of them friendly. He recognized the usual jocks and even passed by Karen Smith laughing as she talked to one of the football players. There was surprisingly a small amount of the usual outcasts, the math nerds and a few art freaks. Cady was more social outside of the plastic minions Regina surrounded herself with so it made sense there was a variety of people here. Turning the corner, he spotted the familiar green eyed blonde speaking to, you guessed it, Aaron Samuels.

A tweak of annoyance (jealously?) spiked through Rodrick, but not surprise at Regina speaking to him. It’s not like they had anything going between them but it was still disappointing to see her turn back to the same old cycles. Just as he began to walk by to turn another corner, searching for any familiar face at this point, Regina called his name. “Rodrick Heffley, just the person I’m looking for!”

Dazed and confused, Rodrick turned towards Regina and Aaron, who seemed more confused than Rodrick himself. “Regina. Hey.”

“I was just telling Aaron that you were meeting me here, as my date.. yet he didn’t believe me.” She pulled him towards her by the hand until they stood shoulder to shoulder, though he towered at least a foot over her, making it more shoulder to waist. “Rodrick, I don’t know if you’ve met—“

“Aaron Samuels. Yes, I know who he is. And yep, I asked Regina to let me accompany her to Cadys party and she had no problem saying yes.” Rodrick half lied through his teeth. He didn’t ask, he had to beg and she didn’t have a problem but there was hesitation when he had asked her to let him join. He also didn’t think he was her date as she had given him practically nothing except “see you there at 9!”. Still, he wasn’t about to correct her.

“Interesting. Well, have fun you two. See you later, Regina.” Aaron raised his brows & turned away, heading towards the crowded kitchen. Bodies pushed against him as they walked around the house and the smell of alcohol and weed wafted in the air.

“Date, huh? Are you trying to use me to make Aaron Samuels jealous?” Rodrick teased, the idea bouncing around in his head like a loose marble. No way. Regina scoffed but smiled, adjusting her straight hair behind her ear. She looked incredible, a silky dress hugging her petite frame. Her eyes coated in a shimmery shadow caught him staring and she snapped her fingers at him.

“Eyes up here, Heffley. Thank you for saving me the embarrassment of you not showing up. I thought this was a date after all, isn’t it?” Regina asked, eyes blinking up at him. The music was so loud in the house that Rodrick had to duck down to hear her, lips to his ear so she wouldn’t have to shout.

He was wrapped in a fog of Regina George, the sweet smell of berries and vanilla bringing him in closer. Being around Regina put Rodrick in a sense of euphoria and bliss, she could tell him to get on his knees and beg again right in front of this crowd of people and he’d probably do it, which was a terrifying thought but there was something about her that kept him on his knees, letting her call the shots.

Rodrick swallowed, finally finding the words in his mouth as he put his lips to her ear. “It’s whatever you want it to be, princess.”

He didn’t miss the way her cheeks pinked but she quickly hid it, clearing her throat and nodding. “Then let’s go find ourselves a drink.”

They wandered the house, Regina introducing him to a few people, one of them being Cady. They were in the same math class so they were vaguely familiar but it was nice to finally be aquatinted.

Rodrick watched her in awe as she floated room to room, everyone obviously recognizing her and practically bowing as she greeted them. He knew she was the queen of North Shore Highschool but her effect usually didn’t work on him so I guess he didn’t realize the effect it had on others. She caught him staring at her again, as usual, and laughed. “Why are you staring at me like that?”

“Like what?” Rodrick cleared his throat, taking another sip of his drink concoction someone had mixed up. It burned going down but not as bad as he expected. He wasn’t a stranger to alcohol but usually stuck to weed. The last thing he wanted was to get so drunk that he embarrassed himself in front of her so he was attempting to pace himself.

“Like you actually like me or something.” She scoffed, rolling her eyes at him.

“Maybe I do.” Rodrick shrugged, a small smile playing on his lips. She laughed like he said something funny and continued to make her way around the room, looking for the next person to chat with.

Two hours later, Rodrick was sufficiently drunk, not out of his mind but drunk enough to make a fool out of himself if he continued on so he made sure his next drink was a cup of water. Regina had been leading him all night, sometimes wandering off on her own while Rodrick found his way around to people he recognized, even Janis who was extremely wary about him coming here with Regina.

Twice now Regina had taken him by the hand back to the heart of the party, the living room full of dancing teenagers. As musically inclined as Rodrick was, he was definitely not a dancer and Regina had a very heavy one up on him in that talent, after all she did perform every year at the winter talent show. She danced like she knew every beat to every song, moving her hips to the tempo & encouraging him to dance with her. Out of respect, he didn’t get too close to her, just a loose hand on her waist or shoulder as he watched her dance.

Janis had found her way back to Rodrick when Regina slipped away minutes ago to head to the bathroom. “I still cannot believe you think this is okay. She is a plastic Barbie from hell!”

“That is extremely dramatic of you, Janis.” Rodrick huffed, glancing around the room to see if he could spot Regina. He knew what this must look like to other people, especially Janis & her group of friends but this was all just light hearted fun. Rodrick wasn’t expecting anything out of this and he didn’t think Regina was either, who’s to say they couldn’t go to one party together then go their separate ways? Not that that was Rodrick’s plan but worst comes to worst, that was all this would be. One “date” and then they moved on.

“I know she’s your type and all, being blonde and bitchy, but I’m telling you now, you WILL regret this. Whether she’s using you to make Aaron jealous for God knows what reason or plotting to humiliating you, I’m begging you to reconsider and never speak to her again!” Janis pleaded, clasping her hands together for dramatic effects before tugging on his arm.

“So what if she happens to be a blonde and a bitch? I think I know what I’m getting myself into.” Rodrick clarified, taking the last drink of water from his cup before tossing it into the kitchen trash. Though it was 11pm, the party was still going strong. There were plenty of people dancing, drinking, smoking, and talking in separate rooms of the house and even the backyard.

“Looks like blonde and bitchy doesn’t like hearing the truth about herself..” Janis chuckled lowly, pointing behind Rodrick. He turned to see the figure of Regina a few feet away, turning her back to walk in the opposite direction of the pair talking in the kitchen. He inwardly cringed, realizing his mistake the second he saw Regina turning to walk away, quickly shoving away from the counter to follow Regina.

“Regina!” Rodrick called but to not avail, either she was deaf or she was purposefully ignoring him. “Regina, hey! I didn’t—“

She stopped abruptly, nearly causing him to bump into her before opening the door to left of her and shoving him inside behind her, closing the door after him. She had shoved him into the downstairs bathroom. “I let you accompany me here out of the goodness of my heart! Did I want to make Aaron jealous? Maybe. Was I expecting you to be bad mouthing me with that freak the second I left for the restroom? No! What is wrong with you?”

“You heard the worst part of the conversation, I didn’t—“ Rodrick started but was quickly cut off.

“Oh, please! I have shown you a great time tonight, introducing you to my friends and dancing with you, there is absolutely zero respect for me on your part! Do you know people will talk about me after this? That this isn’t my usual hangout or my usual date? I thought that when you begged, you were actually interested in coming along just to see me, not to up your status or get intel for Janis Ian of all people!” Regina spit, her usual smile in a frown, cheeks red, out of anger not shyness. She paced the small bathroom, her chest huffing, shaking her anger. Admittedly, this was a rare look for her and although he didn’t like it directed towards him, he could used to her bossy tone.

Rodrick spun to defend himself, his hands moving with every word out of his mouth. “I’m not talking to Janis for intel or to—“

“I don’t want to hear it! I’m going home and you will never—“

“BE QUIET FOR A SECOND!” Rodrick raised his voice to practically yelling, exasperated with being cut off without being given a chance to explain. He didn’t want her to get the wrong idea about him, if she heard the context on the situation and still wanted him to leave her alone then fine, but not without explaining.

He grabbed her hands, pushing her back against the bathroom counter to force her to look at him. “You seriously misinterpreted what I was saying, I was in the middle of defending you from Janis when I said what I said. You are blonde and let’s be honest, Regina, you are a bit of a bitch. But that’s not scaring me away and I’m not saying it to badmouth you. Janis was making fun of me for being into bitchy blondes, AKA you, that date the annoying jocks instead of someone like me.”

“Oh. I’m your type?” Regina said, her hands fidgeting under Rodrick’s holding them down against the countertop. Rodrick huffed out a laugh, shaking his head.

“Is that seriously all you got out of that explanation?” He asked, his cheeks heating in embarrassment. It wasn’t really a secret that Rodrick’s type was not what you’d expect when you looked at him but to outwardly tell Regina that she was his was humbling, especially since he knew he wasn’t hers. “I’m sorry about calling you a bitchy blonde and yelling at you, okay? But damn, just let me talk.”

She nodded and he brought his hands back to his side, wiping his palms on the side of his thighs. “Thank you. Now, are you ready to get out of here?”

Regina nodded again in response, clearing her throat. They made their way out of the bathroom, catching multiple stares that were sure to turn into a rumor by Monday. Rodrick had sobered enough to drive home and Regina had barely drank to begin with, complaining of added sugars & unnecessary carbs (who knew people actually read the nutritional facts on the back of packaging?).

They walked through the house as Regina said goodbye to her friends and made their way silently to her car. She turned towards him before getting in, “Thanks for coming with me tonight.” Regina smiled softly, getting into her car & closing the door before pulling off to head home.

Rodrick stood in the street and watched her car until it was out of sight. His heart was racing almost faster than his mind. Was this considered a successful night? They ended on an argument, as usual, but left it on a good note, right? Would this be an isolated occurrence, just because of their meeting in detention or was he making way into Regina’s life?

Whatever it was, Rodrick was on cloud 9 as he raced home, even flying through a stop sign on accident. When he got home, he quickly showered just to get the sticky feeling of the house party off of him and made him way to lay in bed. As he went to close his eyes, his phone on his dresser pinged.

It was after midnight, who could possibly be messaging him this late? His heart skipped a beat when he read the lit up screen.

Thanks for coming with me tonight, I had fun.

P.S. who said I would never date someone like you?

Chapter Text

Regina had no idea what had gotten into her this past week. It was one month into her senior year and clearly her focus had shifted. It started with detention last week served by the new physics teacher, Ms. Connors, who clearly did not know how the hierarchy worked around her. She called Regina out for using her phone during a lab and to her surprise, slapped her with detention instead of brushing it off when she batted her eyelashes.

Then in detention, she entertained the thought of talking with someone she previously considered a freak, resulting in another day of detention. Regina couldn’t believe the boldness of Rodrick Heffley in those notes. Obviously, she had never truly spoken to him as she was way above him on the social food chain, just minuscule interactions now and then but she never expected him to actually try and talk to her, much less in a vulgar way in the middle of detention.

Thursday detention came & went with no incidents but by Friday, she couldn’t stop thinking about their interactions & kept catching herself glancing at him in the hallway, so much that Gretchen called her out on it. “Are you like, okay? You’ve been distracted all day, you didn’t even answer me earlier when I told you I got a new Chanel purse..”

Regina of course brushed her off, “Gretchen, you know that purse came out last season, of course I’m happy for you but don’t expect me to jump with joy. I have to go to English.”

It was even harder to focus in class, daydreams stuck between Aaron, who she’d recently broken it off with once again, and a certain tall black haired boy you’d think she would’ve screamed at by now. She had seen him around with similar looking friends but he didn’t fit the cliques at North Shore that she had split into categories. The closest she could get was fitting him in with the burnouts but that didn’t feel quite right either, she had walked by him and smelt weed on him before but he didn’t seem quite as lazy or brain dead as the rest of the group.

When the last bell finally rung, Regina found herself stopped in the parking lot by said black haired boy. And as much as she found herself shocked again at his bravery to talk to her and even ask her out, she was more shocked when she said yes.

Actually, when Regina told Rodrick to beg, the last thing she expected was for him to actually comply. Her jaw nearly dropped the second she saw him clasp his hands together and she heard the words “please” fall from his lips. As much as Regina wanted to laugh and tell him he was pathetic, she found herself radiating with a hum of satisfaction.

Obviously everyone at North Shore High school treated her like a queen and she had encountered plenty of groveling before but mostly out of fear or reluctance to get in good graces with her. Even Aaron sometimes acted like he was the prize and Regina would find herself dropping an argument just to make it work between them. She hated that more than anything.

Rodrick Heffley was begging out of pure want to be near her and she felt delight at the prospect. Was she starting to like him? Definitely not. Did she like the way he looked on his knees begging her? Maybe. That was all this was after all, right? Just a new experiment to keep her entertained..

So, they went to the party together. Regina found Aaron immediately, setting up the conversation to make him jealous she was spending time with someone Aaron was so sure wasn’t her type. She was unsure if it worked but at least Rodrick didn’t seem to mind. The rest of the night, they had a good time. He seemed to enjoy being with her, even if it was just dragging him around the house to introduce him to people he probably already knew. Gretchen and Karen obviously took notice of the pair and she knew they would be grilling her about it tomorrow so she made the night last while she could.

Regina hated to admit it but she liked Rodrick’s company. People were right when they assumed he wasn’t her usual type but she reluctantly found herself admitting she liked the way he looked. He was nearly a foot taller than her, messy black hair, full pink lips. His usual light smell of weed was replaced tonight by the smell of cedar and something spicy, like cinnamon. His hands were big and warm as she held them to walk room to room.

The best part was Rodrick looking at her like she hung the moon. After all, Regina had no problem admitting she loved people admiring her. Half the school adored her while the other half despised her so someone like Rodrick, who fit into the other half, looking at her like that sent a thrill of delight through her body.

Sure, Aaron liked her but he had never looked at her like that. One argument and he was back to letting his eyes wander to other girls in the hallways. Regina was many things but a cheater was not one of them so that really got under her skin. Their relationship was always rocky and always underwhelming, he was not a good partner, emotionally or physically.

Regina found herself wandering how Rodrick would be as a partner physically. The thought of big rough hands on her thighs, his dark clothes against her bed made up with a pink silk comforter. She bit her lip to keep from blushing before Rodrick excused himself to get water and she excused herself to the restroom to calm herself.

In the bathroom, she forced herself to take a breath, realizing she was getting way too ahead of herself.

After searching, Regina spotted Rodrick leaning against the kitchen cabinets with Janis Ian herself, one of her most hated classmates. Much to her surprise, she heard him call her a bitch. Was he wrong? No.. but she wasn’t going to let someone lower than her talk about her like that.

The scene in the downstairs bathroom had her angry and overwhelmed and the feeling to cut this off before it got any crazier was washing over her. She knew this was a bad idea, Rodrick was so far from her normal friend list that it was almost ridiculous and she had no idea why she agreed to this in the first place. To make Aaron jealous? Regina didn’t even know if Aaron would take her seriously if she used Rodrick to do the job. Everyone knew her usual type was Aaron or any jock for that matter.

She was ready to storm out of the bathroom when he cut her off to explain himself. It was only fair to let him finish his sentence but she still found herself slightly irked at his courage to talk back to her. But then, he told her the magic words.

Regina was his type. Blonde or a bitch, who cared? His comment stroked her ego. She had never seen him in the hallway with any girls besides Janis, who happened to be his cousin, so she had nothing to compare his past to. She assumed she was everyone’s type, who didn’t love a pretty blonde teenager? But still, she glowed with pride at his comment like she had won him over. Thoughts rapidly built in her brain on how this situation could benefit her.

By the time he walked her to his car, she had so many thoughts racing in her mind, she didn’t know what to do next.

What Regina did next was not on her list but she found herself doing it anyways. The moment she got home and showered, she lay in bed on her phone typing and retyping texts to him. She was thankful she got his number tonight but in retrospect, it was probably a bad idea since she was already messaging him barely 2 hours after she got it. Nonetheless, she sent one anyways.

Thanks for coming with me tonight, I had fun.

P.S. who said I would never date someone like you?

***
The next morning, before Regina fully opened her eyes, she checked her phone for his reply. The only indication he saw it was a small

Read at 12:34am

Glowing underneath.

Embarrassment flushed her cheeks, her mind reeling. Had she misread this entire situation and made a fool out of herself? Was he so drunk that he read it and immediately fallen asleep?

The endless possibilities flooded her brain before the ringing of her phone cut through them. She didn’t even read the contact before picking up, relief flooding her. “Finally, you called, I can’t believe you didn’t answer my—“

“Regina!” Karen squeaked through the phone, cutting her off. The heavy feeling of anxiety washing over her like ice water again. “Gretchen and I are coming over in like 30 minutes. You know we have to ask all about this mystery man! See you soon!”

Regina hung up, dragging herself out of bed to get ready. She pondered what to do next. Text again? Definitely not her style. Block him? But what if he responded…
She decided she’d wait for an answer and if it never came, she’d confront him about it in their shared calculus class Monday.

She spent all Saturday discussing with Karen and Gretchen what the next steps were. She told them about their interactions leading up to the party and her talk with Aaron. Their look of worry dissolved into looks of excitement by the time she finished explaining.

“Oh my gosh, do you think he’d let you use him to make Aaron jealous? He could finally get a taste of his own medicine!” Gretchen exclaimed, flapping her hands excitedly.

Regina shrugged, “I don’t know. He kinda of took it as a joke when he mentioned me doing that at Cadys party. If it doesn’t work though then this is all just a huge, embarrassing waste of time.”

Karen fiddled with her blonde hair, laying on Regina’s bed on her stomach while Gretchen laughed. “I don’t know, Rodrick looks at you like he likes what he sees. What if you can make it mutually beneficial for both of you, even if it doesn’t work to make Aaron jealous?”

Regina furrowed her eyebrows, dissecting what Gretchen was entailing. “What are you talking about?”

Gretchen gave her a knowing smile while Karen laid there, looking between the two girls like she had no idea what they were talking about. Regina’s brain clicked with clarity and Gretchen noticed, clapping. “Oh my gosh, please do it!!! This is so unlike you, it would be so fun!”

“Do what? What are you guys talking about!” Karen asked, sitting up. Regina’s cheeks burned but the idea didn’t disgust her.

“Gretchen, I can’t believe you’d think of something like that! I don’t think he’d go for it.” Regina cleared her throat, avoiding eye contact with her best friend. She was weighing the pros and cons of the situation but couldn’t decide which side weighed heavier.

“Go for what?” Karen raised her voice, still not having caught on. As much as she loved her friends, Karen was definitely the slower of the 3.

Gretchen scoffed, gesturing towards Regina. “Karen, are you oblivious? Regina could use Rodrick to make Aaron jealous by hanging around him and “dating” him,” Gretchen made air quotes with her fingers, “but she could have sex with him so if the jealous thing doesn’t work, at least they both get something out of it!”

Regina blushed again while Karen and Gretchen discussed the pros and cons. She found Rodrick annoying at times and definitely didn’t have a crush on him or anything but he was definitely the kind of guy Aaron disliked. He didn’t seem happy about Regina being there with Rodrick on Friday but she couldn’t tell if he was actually jealous or just astonished that she’d go with someone like him. If they did “date”, what would be in it for Rodrick besides maybe scoring some points with more popular students? That’s where Gretchen’s idea came in…

But would Regina do it? She wasn’t necessarily the type to sleep around and she didn’t know if he was either. The last thing she wanted was to becoming a laughing stock at school by being added to his long list of girls he’s slept with. Maybe they could keep that part a secret and just hang out to make Aaron jealous but would Rodrick keep it a secret? Or was he the type of boy to tell as many people as he could to make himself look more impressive?

She really didn’t know him well enough to know if he’d even do it, why he would, how they would, the rules they’d make… was he still a virgin? She had 0 idea.

“Don’t get yourself too worked up about it, Regina. It’s just a fun idea, you should sleep on it!” Karen giggled.

Unfortunately for Regina, that night after her friends had left, she could barely sleep at all. She kept glancing at her phone, checking to see if he’d replied. He hadn’t.

She spent half the night tossing and turning, running the proposition in her head over and over again. She can’t believe Gretchen would come up with this idea, she almost laughed at the fact that she even thought of something like that. She was more creative than Regina had thought.

The more Regina thought about it, the more the situation stuck in her mind. She thought about what his reaction would be when she proposed the idea to him, would Rodrick be shocked or embarrassed she’d think of him like that? She at least had the upper hand, knowing she was his type and at the bare minimum, found her attractive. The worst he could say is no. He could never get enough traction to start a rumor telling people she asked him to sleep with her, they’d never believe him. Oh, the perks of being top of the food chain. But what if he was a terrible partner physically, worse than Aaron? Then she’d get stuck with another bad to mediocre experience and have to deal with those consequences.

The fact that she was even considering this at all meant she was out of her mind. She squeezed her eyes shut, willing her thoughts to go away so she could drift to sleep.

Unfortunately for her, it was evident to her she wasn’t safe in her dreams either.

Regina dreamt of full, pink lips pressed against hers and a much taller, warm body pushing her into her silk sheets. The taste of cinnamon and cherry chapstick against her mouth had her humming with pleasure, finding her fingers tangled in a mess of black hair above her. Their mouths moved against each other, tongues and limbs tangled.

A rough hand found its way on her hip, stroking to get closer to her inner thigh. She gasped when their fingers made brief contact with her core, spreading her legs a little wider for access. She gripped the boys hair tighter, squeezing her eyes shut.

Regina woke up gasping, tangled in her bed sheets. Her cheeks burned with embarrassment mixed with pleasure and she heard her mom call from downstairs that breakfast was ready. She needed to get a grip on herself.. but more importantly, she needed to talk to Rodrick.

***
The following Monday at school, Regina stood with Karen and Gretchen at her locker, knowing she’d see him in calculus next period.

“You have to do it and tell me everything. What he says, what his reaction is, I need to know, Regina!” Gretchen said, failing to hide her excitement.

Regina nodded, looking down at her shoes. “I don’t even know if I’m saying anything yet, I can’t decide if this is a good idea or not.”

She slammed her locker, body humming with nerves. Rodrick had never even answered her text so she was confronting him on that, first and foremost. She hadn’t see him in the hallway today so it would have to be a note passed in calculus.

Making her way towards Ms. Norbury’s classroom, she spotted Rodrick sitting in his usual seat towards the left back of the room. Unfortunately for her, someone was already sitting in the seat behind him. She made her way over, determination on her face. “Excuse me, you’re in my seat.”

“What? You always sit at the front! This is—“

“Move out of my seat!” Regina said, gripping her notebook and pencil tighter. The redheaded boy moved, his mouth open in shock. She took her seat behind Rodrick, not missing the way he smiled when she did.

They had another minute or two before class started and she didn’t know if she should start the conversation or let him take the lead. She twiddled with her pencil for a second before tapping Rodrick’s shoulder. “You ignored my text.”

“You didn’t text me your name, it was an unknown number, how was I supposed to know that was from you?” He teased, turning sideways in his chair to talk to her.

Regina rolled her eyes. “Did you get multiples girls phone numbers that night or what?”

Rodrick let out a small chuckle, “No, I did not.”

“Then why didn’t you answer? You have your read receipts on.” Regina shot back, desperate for an answer.

“Beg, Regina. And I’ll tell you.” Rodrick’s brown eyes glimmered with mischief, throwing her Friday request right back at her. She pulled back like she had been slapped and frowned. Why was he being a jerk? Or was she just getting a taste of her own medicine?

“Forget it, then.” She clarified, watching him turn back in his seat as Ms. Norbury stood at the front of the room to begin class.

Regina could barely focus, opening her mouth to whisper to him then closing it again. She was NOT a beggar. She desperately wanted to know why he didn’t answer, though the answer could be as simple as he didn’t want to or didn’t like her in that way but she had a feeling there was more to it. She wrestled with the idea of what to do before she pulled out a piece notebook paper and scribbling something down.

Please, Rodrick. Tell me why you didn’t answer my text.

She leaned forward to place it near his foot, which he quickly picked up on the floor. She watched him unfold it and write something back before reaching behind him to pass it back to her. The student next to them sent a curious glance but quickly turned away when Regina glared at her. She unfolded it carefully.

I didn’t know if you were drunk texting me or if you were serious but due to the begging, I now feel like you are lol. Why are you even talking to me?

Regina quickly wrote back, making a quick decision to just blurt out what she wanted from him. She passed it quickly, maybe too quickly because it caught them a glance from a few other people sitting nearby.

I was serious, girls don’t like to be left on read, you know.. and I have a proposition for you. It’s going to sound ridiculous but meet me after school at my car in the parking lot, I need to talk with you

Rodrick read her note, giving her a curt nod of his head. She turned her attention back to the front of the room though her mind was fully occupied with their upcoming conversation.

***

Hours later, Regina fidgeted with her fingers as she made her way towards her pink BMW. Would he show up and would she even have the courage to say what she wanted to say? She waited for minutes as nerves overtook her and was about to get in and drive off when she spotted his long legs making his way towards her.

“Sorry, I got caught up talking to Janis.” He said, coming to stand in front of her as she stood by the driver side door. “What’s your proposition for me, Regina?”

Anxiety washed over her body like ice water, pulling her between spitting it out or calling the whole thing off. There was no reason to be embarrassed, she knew he thought she was attractive and like she said, the worst he could say is no. But a no would hurt more than him ignoring her text and maybe she should’ve left it at that. He stood there expectedly, waiting for her to talk, his eyebrows raised.

Regina cleared her throat, finding the words. “When you asked at Cadys party if I was with you to make Aaron jealous, that wasn’t the whole truth but it got me thinking, what if we did? He doesn’t believe that I’d hang around you and I don’t care about making him jealous as much as I care about proving him wrong and getting under his skin. What do you think?”

Rodrick scoffed out a laugh like he didn’t believe her and shrugged his shoulders. “Umm.. doesn’t that seem pretty petty? What’s in it for me?”

Her cheeks burned, trying to offer a small token to see what he’d say before offering something bigger. “You’d score good points for hanging around the most popular girl in school, maybe make new friends, you could even find a girlfriend after they all think you’re the hottest thing at school.”

He shrugged, she could see him weighing the benefits in his head but he wasn’t convinced. “I guess but I don’t really care about making new friends or finding some hot chick to date.”

She knew what to say next. Regina struggled to get them out, the words dying in her throat. She opened her mouth just to close it again, opening it one last time. Her cheeks burned so hot, she knew she was bright red and probably looked like a complete lunatic to him. “What if we had sex?”

Chapter Text

Rodrick was sure his hearing had failed him. If it didn’t, then his wildest fantasy, the fantasy of any guy at North Shore for that matter, was playing out right in front of his very own eyes. He let a brief moment pass between them, waiting for her to clarify what she meant.

Regina stared back for another minute, eyebrows furrowed in agitation before she spoke again. “Hello? Don’t you know it’s rude to ignore a girl when she asks you to have sex with her? Were you raised by wolves?”

Rodrick snapped back into reality, his hearing still sounding like he was underwater. How could this possibly be happening to him right now?

He wouldn’t go as far to say he had a crush on Regina, after all, he saw how she treated other students she didn’t think were worthy of her time and he realistically knew they would never be a couple but since he first laid eyes on her in middle school, she was his type to a T.

Blonde, petite, kinda a bitch (he had to admit, he liked it just a little bit) sassy, independent, and drop dead gorgeous. He had fantasized about her green eyes, soft pale skin, even her voice. Did he have a crush on her? No… Was she possibly the prettiest girl he’d ever laid eyes on? No denying that.

What do you do when your wet dream comes to life and asks you to have sex with her? Well…

“Isn’t that prostitution? Sex in exchange for money or goods, such as for the purpose of doing a favor for you like being a fake boyfriend?” Rodrick asked.

Calling her a prositute? In hindsight, probably shouldn’t have been his first choice.

“Did you seriously just call me a prositute? Rodrick, you are such a jerk.” Regina huffed, stomping her heeled foot at him. She whipped around to open her car door to flee but he grabbed her by the bicep.

Rodrick gaped, still unsure of how this was happening but trying to salvage the situation. “That’s not what I meant! I just meant.. I wouldn’t want to have sex with you in payment for me doing you a favor. It feels wrong and my mom would seriously be disappointed in me.”

He remembered the time his mom caught him with bikini and lingerie magazines under his bed. He was a teenage boy after all but he still got an earful that entire day and was watched like a hawk for an entire month afterwards, forced to feel the shame of objectifying women. He was self aware enough to know he was a horny teenager but he still had some respect for Regina. Plus, nobody wants to have sex with someone as a favor.

Regina shook her head, sighing. “You’re worried about what your mom would think? Rodrick Heffley, you surprise me everyday. I didn’t take you for the feminist, woman respecting type.”

“I’m offended you think that, I love women. Anyways,” He couldn’t hide his grin, “my point still stands. You don’t owe me something like that.”

He could see her fighting the words to come out of her mouth as she bounced on the balls of her feet, crossing her arms over her chest. “What if it was mutually beneficial for both of us… I don’t know about you but I don’t like to sleep around and it’s been months since Aaron and I split up. As long as you don’t suck then it’s really like I’d be using you, including to annoy Aaron. It’s not prostitution, it’s just a mutualism relationship. We’d have to make rules for the fake dating, of course.”

Rodrick seriously couldn’t believe he was even considering this arrangement but here he was, entertaining the situation. “What would our rules be?”

Regina lit up at his question, she could probably see she was starting to win him over. He was almost 95% sure that they’d talk it up today and by the end of the week, she’d call it off and move on, forgetting this whole proposition, so what was the harm in entertaining it just for today?

“Whatever we want, let’s write it down in my notebook.” She pulled out a pink journal, suspiciously not notebook looking.

“Is that not a diary?” Rodrick asked, raising his eyebrows at her. This was important enough to put in a girls most sacred artifact, her diary?

“Who cares? You’re such a stickler for details. Writing in my diary will make it more permanent, I know for sure I won’t lose it or accidentally spill something on it.” He watched her flip through the small pink book, catching glimpses of stickers, photos, and writing in different colored pens.

Regina began to write in a pink pen she pulled out of her purse.

1. Go on a minimum of one outing per week
2. Rodrick will pick Regina up at least twice a week for school

“You have your own car, don’t you?” She asked and Rodrick nodded in response. “Okay, what else?”

3. No PDA, holding hands is fine but no kissing in public

Rodrick shot Regina a sideways glance at that one as he watched her write but reluctantly nodded. Kissing in public or private hadn’t even crossed his mind but now it was stuck in his brain like a piece of gum on the bottom of a shoe.

4. It ends when Aaron is sufficiently jealous or moved on with someone else
5. No feelings involved. Strictly a business arrangement. Regina is not to fall in love with Rodrick

Regina chuckled at the last one, rolling her eyes as Rodrick wrote it in her diary. “As if.”

They stared at eachother for several moments before Regina cleared her throat, turning her hair behind her ear. “What about the sex part?”

“We don’t have to include that part, I’ll let you use me to make Aaron jealous just to make my senior year interesting.” Rodrick clarified, handing her back her pink pen. No way he was taking her serious on that offer, it just didn’t make sense.

The blonde girl in front of him rolled her eyes, “Come on Rodrick, you’re starting to annoy me. I’m not going to beg you to sleep with me.”

“But you beg for well.” He shot back, a smirk playing on his lips. Her perfect cheeks pinked again, leaving him satisfied. As much as he teased her, he wanted her to know he was being genuine. “I just don’t want you to feel forced.”

“Trust me, I’m not being forced. I’m up for it if you are. You don’t have to say yes or no or even make a decision right now, just consider the proposition. Unless you know you’re terrible in bed, then please save me the torture.” She smirked, giving him a ‘prove me wrong’ look.

“I guess you’ll just have to wait and see then.” Rodrick said, wetting his lips. He had never been this courageous before, at least not with someone who might actually take it serious. The crude notes he passed her in detention were just to get under her skin, he never genuinely expected her to even consider the prospect of sleeping with him so he was doing his best to navigate the situation. “When do we start?”

“Now. Bye, boyfriend.” Regina waved with her manicured fingers, pulling open her car door & sliding into the driver seat. Rodrick stared dumbstruck at her as she pulled out of the parking lot.

***
“I can’t believe you’re being so nice to your brothers today, Rodrick. You’ve turned a new leaf.” His mom smiled at him, cutting into her pork chop.

Greg scoffed, shaking his head at her comment. “Mom, he’s only being nice because he’s plotting something evil, aren’t you?”

Family dinner was a nightly occurrence and though he loved his parents, he could do without the prying and agitating brothers. Just as that thought appeared, Manny threw his cup on the floor, milk splashing on Rodrick’s leg. He reached down to pick it up then stood to get a paper towel to wipe off his pants, sighing. “Whatever you say, Greggy boy.”

“Does this have anything to do with the mystery girl you went to the party with on Friday?” She teased, feeding manny another bite of mashed potatoes while his dad refilled the cup, inevitably waiting for it to be spilt again.

Rodrick played it off, shaking his head. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
His phone buzzed in his pocket but his mom shot him a look.

“No phones at the dinner table.” His dad reminded, sliding back into the dining room chair and taking another drink of water from his glass.

So Rodrick hurried to finish eating, shouting at Greg that it was his turn to wash the dishes as he flew upstairs to his room, shutting the door behind him. He pulled his phone out eagerly, Regina’s name popping up on the screen.

Do you want to pick me up and drop me off tomorrow, boyfriend?

Rodrick grinned to himself before typing back a response.

You don’t have to call me boyfriend, you know? I’m fine with honey, baby, even daddy if that’s your thing. And sure, send me your address.

He could just picture the agitated look on her face right now, eyebrows furrowed and pink lips in a frown. He was expecting an ugly response back but instead he found something better.

217 North Lane. See you tomorrow, daddy

Every inch of his skin tingling, he put his phone down on his dresser without replying and sat on his bed. He knew that they had just talked about having sex mere hours ago but he still felt light headed seeing her response. The thought of this happening in any way, shape, or form had Rodrick’s pulse racing, unable to talk himself down.

Mutually beneficial, he reminded himself. That’s all this was. The chances of them actually hooking up were next to 0, he still wasn’t sure about taking her offer of becoming physical. This was all just light hearted texting.

Though nothing felt light hearted about seeing the word “daddy” pop up under Regina’s name.

***
Rodrick sat in his truck outside Regina’s mansion, waiting for her to come out. When he said mansion, he truly meant mansion. His family was not poor by any means but he had no idea Regina lived in a house this nice. It made him wonder what she saw in him that was so appealing she was willing to look past the fact that they didn’t know each other well, his house was not this big, and he looked nothing like the jocks she liked. Must be his charming personality, right?

He watched her come out of the front door and make her way down the driveway to his car, where he got out to open the door for her.

“I didn’t expect you to be such a gentleman.” Regina laughed, getting adjusted before Rodrick closed it and walked back to the driver side. He liked the way she looked sitting in his passenger seat.

“What kind of “boyfriend”would I be if I didn’t open a door for you?” He joked, buckling his seatbelt and putting the car into drive. They made their way to school in less than 15 minutes, sharing small talk about their classes before finding a parking spot and getting out to walk to the front together.

They got plenty of odd states starting with Regina climbing out of his old black Toyota truck. He was expecting her to pass a comment on how beat down or old it was but she didn’t which he appreciated. They walked side by side to her locker, passing Karen and Gretchen who shot Regina a smirk.

“Your friends are giving us odd looks.” Rodrick noted, leaning against the side of the lockers next to Regina’s.

She nodded, clearing her throat. “They know. About us.”

Not fully surprised but kind of agitated, Rodrick raised his eyebrows at her, though he was caught on the word ‘us’. “And you’re just trusting that they aren’t going to tell anyone?”

Regina sighed, shoving her books into her locker and pulling out the one she’d need for 1st period. “It was Gretchen’s plan in the first place to arrange the whole sex idea, so obviously I have to trust them with the secret.”

“Oh so they know about that too? I was talking about the dating, not the sex but good to know that the two biggest gossips in school know what’s going on between us. Also I never said yes to the sex thing, you told me to think about it.” Rodrick huffed, his irritation coming in full swing now. This was starting to feel more like a set up than an arrangement.

“Can you relax? You are full of negative energy right now and you’re going to stress me out. Sex or no sex, you’ll just going to have to trust me on the secret part.” Regina said, slamming her locker shut. “Its better if we’re seen together less often at first then more frequently as we “date” longer so I’ll see you after school when you take me home.”

Her eyes followed somebody walking behind them and when Rodrick turned, he saw the back of Aaron Samuel’s, heading in the opposite direction. He would bet money on the fact that he took notice of the two talking at her locker and Regina gave Rodrick a satisfied smirk before turning, heading to class. He still felt uneasy but did the same, finding his way to history.

The day flew by without problems, a few people going out of their way to say hey to Rodrick. He guessed he’d climbed higher up the social hierarchy by being seen with Regina at Cadys party on Friday and then again talking by her locker this morning. By the time the bell rang for dismissal, he was ready to get out of here.

She found him first by his locker this time, her things already put away, just her purse on her shoulder. “Ready to go?” Rodrick nodded, shoving his things in his locker and slamming it shut. He put his phone in his pocket before turning to walk with Regina.

They walked together silently to his car before he opened the door for her again then climbed into the drivers seat. He started the ignition and began to pull out, heading for Regina’s house.

“We’re not going to hangout or anything before you drop me off?” She asked, shooting him a sideways glance. Out of all the remarks she’d made the last week, he still wasn’t expecting that to come out of her mouth.

Rodrick shook his head, stopping at a red light. “Do you have a crush or something on me, Regina?” He smirked. “I have drum practice in 30 minutes so no, not today.”

She was quick with a response. “Then I wanna come to your practice.”

He laughed sarcastically, bobbing his head to the music on the radio. “No, you don’t. You don’t like the kind of music we play.”

“How do you know that?” Regina asked, glaring at him.

Roderick looked over at her, giving her a once over before chuckling and turning his eyes back to the road, which spoke for itself. She did not look like she listened to anything Roderick listened to or played. Not that there was anything wrong with different tastes but she’d be bored out of her mind watching them practice.

“I’m serious. I want to go to see what you’re up to after school. You have to let me come.” Regina declared, pushing her long hair over her shoulders and crossing her arms in defiance. As he noted previously, he liked bossy girls.

“I HAVE to let you?” He asked. She gave him a curt nod of her head, a pout on her lips. He shrugged and took an abrupt turn, heading towards his bandmate Chris’ house. As you wish, princess.

***
Nearly two hours later, they were in Chris’ garage, getting ready to try out one more song before calling it a night. Much to his astonishment, Regina was actually watching them play. His friends had practically kissed the ground Regina walked on when she entered the garage, all starstruck by the familiar but untouchable blonde. Rodrick was filled with a sense of pride at their reactions, even though he reminded himself that this “relationship” wasn’t for real. He didn’t know if he even cared, he would take it as is over no relationship at all.

They started their last song of the set, a little bit of a slower one. Rodrick knew they weren’t amazing but they had seriously improved over the years, especially him. He took it more seriously the older he got, unsure about making it a career but at least wanting to be decent at his favorite hobby.

Something about playing the drums came easy to him and scratched an itch inside of him. He liked guitar just as much as the next guy but beating on a set of drums helped release all the feelings and tension school and his home life created. He wasn’t a particularly great, try hard student and his family was fine despite his annoying brothers but it was still fun to have an outlet either way.

They played to the beat they had written, slow but building up into something a little quicker but not too upbeat. He caught a glance at Regina to gauge her reaction and was pleased to find her watching, in what looked a little like awe. Another thing to know about Rodrick? He liked impressing people, especially girls like Regina who were usually very hard to do so.

She sat on a blue fold out camping chair, a funny sight for a girl so pristine and dolled up. Her slender legs crossed over one another and her hands intertwined in her lap. She had braided her hair which sat over her shoulder, a small smile on her lips, her eyes shimmering as she watched them play.

As soon as they wrapped up the song, Rodrick grabbed for his plastic water bottle next to his foot on the ground, taking a long drink. He lifted the collar of his shirt to wipe beads of sweat sticking to his forehead away. As soon as he dropped his shirt, he stole a glimpse of Regina to find her already watching him. Her lips were parted, eyes focused on him, she sat up taller in her chair than before.

“What did you think?” Chris asked her, fishing for a compliment. He knew she was hard to impress but her usual look of disinterest was absent on her face. She snapped back into the conversation, closing her mouth.

“Not bad for a group of teenagers. I like what I see. Hear! I like what I see and hear.” Regina flushed, giving them a short round of applause. Rodrick felt a blush creeping up his neck and quickly swallowed it down, clearing his throat. This was high praise coming from her.

His friends offered for Regina to join them to smoke in the garage with them but she turned them down, saying she had to get home and Rodrick declined too as he was her ride. This was their usual band practice, play then smoke but he assumed Regina wasn’t into that kind of hangout and it was late for a school night anyways. They had practiced longer than usual and his mom would be blowing up his phone within the next hour asking him where he was.

They said their goodbyes and headed back to his car, he hopped in and adjusted himself in the worn leather seat. “Thanks for coming. I know this probably isn’t your typical Tuesday night.”

“It’s not but I liked it. Now I know what practice looks like.” Regina flashed him a small smile, buckling her seatbelt. She pulled down the sun visor and opened up the mirror, fixing her already perfect hair using her reflection.

Rodrick pulled off, nodding his head. “You liked listening to the music or you liked to watch?” He didn’t miss the way she said she liked what she saw earlier and now was no better time to ask for for clarification, he hadn’t wanted to embarrass her or himself in front of his friends.

“Both. The music isn’t bad and neither is the view.” Regina clarified, putting the sun visor up and turning her head to look out the passenger window. “Does this count as our one weekly hangout?”

Rodrick glowed with the praise, letting her stroke his ego just the smallest bit. She knew by now that he found her attractive and it was a relief to know she liked the way he looked too, even if it was only while playing drums. “Sure. I can pick you up Thursday for school, too.”

She nodded, letting them drive in silence back to her house. After a brief drive, he pulled up next to her mailbox, putting the car in park. She sighed and unbuckled her seatbelt, turning to say goodbye. Regina gave him a short goodnight before reaching for the door handle but she hesitated to open it.

“Is that it? You’re not going to try to kiss me or talk me into letting you come up to my room?” She shifted in the seat, turning her back towards the door and her knees towards him.

“Why would I?” Rodrick played dumb, raising his eyebrows. The tension had been growing like a rubber band pulled all day that felt ready to snap. “Admit it— you like the tension between us.”

Regina scoffed, rolling her eyes like she couldn’t believe his nerve. She should know by now that he’d never back down from their banter. “Please. I like the idea of slamming this car door in your face.”

As quick as she was, he was quicker. “Is that what we’re calling flirting now?”

“I cannot stand you, Rodrick. Must everything be a joke?” She ridiculed him but her eyes had the same playful glint in them that he was coming to recognize.

He shrugged, placing both hands on the steering wheel. “You keep saying you can’t stand me but your body looks like it’s telling a different story.” He liked her praise and affection but he loved to irk her more. Her reactions were satisfying, the more frequently speechless, the better.

Additionally, he wasn’t lying. He hadn’t missed the way her fingers found his hand when they walked together or the way she blushed when he flirted with her. As much shit as she talked, he knew she had to like him just a pinch.

“My body has bad taste.” Regina clarified, finally getting out of the car and slamming the door behind her, with maybe a little too much force. Rodrick rolled down his window to jab at her again, maybe ridicule her for slamming his door but when she walked to the driver side window, she stunned him by resting her hands on the window frame, reaching up and pressing a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth, just barely missing his lips.

Rodrick was familiar with the rush of warmth curling low in his stomach, his pulse quickening without his approval. As much fun as it was being near Regina, it was also nearing torture for him. Every glance, every suggestive remark, every brush against her skin set his own on what felt like fire. The air around them felt too thick and the space too small, nearly suffocating him.

His usual crushes were underwhelming experiences and simply could not compare to the way he felt when Regina simply looked at him a certain way. He didn’t know if it was because of her how pretty she was or simply because before this weekend, she felt impossible, but he was teetering the edge of insanity being this close to her with no relief.

“You call that a kiss?” Rodrick called after her as she walked to the driveway, not caring if her neighbors heard. He hoped he sounded confident but his voice wavering slightly For one last chance to poke the bear, he couldn’t help himself.

Regina turned her head, her heels clicking against the payment as she continued walking. “If you wanted a kiss, all you had to do was ask.”

He would keep that in mind. The first few hours after she proposed sleeping together, Rodrick thought it was a joke. Then he thought it was a bad idea. Then he thought it’d be too complicated. Now, he was weighing the benefits and they were strongly outweighing the risks, though he wasn’t 100% sold.

He could tell the amount of sleep his body would let him get tonight was going to be borderline offensive. He respected Regina but he couldn’t turn off his thoughts and worse, his dreams. It would be a miracle if he was able to settle down enough to lay in bed at all.

“All you had to do was ask.”
He was definitely keeping that in mind.

Chapter Text

Regina was nothing if not honest, especially with herself. Was she enjoying flirting with Rodrick a little too much for someone who was only using him for the intent of making her ex jealous? Probably. Was she hoping a little too much that he’d take her up on her offer of having sex? Probably. Was she going to stop talking to him? Probably not.

She hated more than anything to admit to herself that she found him attractive. She used to pass him in the hall and wrinkle her nose at him without sparing a second glance. She had never thought he was ugly but more so, unworthy of her attention. Now, she actually was catching herself daydreaming and replaying their past conversations in her head, smiling like an idiot in the middle of class.

Sitting near him in calculus was practically academic suicide. Regina was never a straight A+ student but she was on her way to becoming a senior year drop out with the way she simply could not focus on anything except the back of his head. She found herself ogling his hair or his hands, waiting for him to spare her a glance. Then she’d become agitated, wondering why she was acting so desperate. Then, much to her dismay, the cycle repeated. Stare, freak out, calm down, stare again.

She slept horribly, up all night tossing and turning, pondering texting him way too late at night, with nothing important to say. Instead, she scribbled every night in her diary, failing to realize every journal entry started with her talking about Rodrick.

Dear diary,
Today Rodrick drove me home from school and played the worst music I’ve ever heard. When I told him that, he said “you’d probably call the police if you ever heard real music”, what does that even mean???

Dear diary,
Rodrick is driving me nuts, he saw me leaving AP physics and exclaimed “didn’t know they let Barbie take AP classes”. Is that an insult or a compliment?

Dear diary,
I will do anything to get a restful night of sleep. Why can’t I stop thinking about his stupid face? It doesn’t even stop when I go to sleep. It’s almost WORSE. WHY.

Nonetheless, Regina obviously couldn’t stay away from him. The one thing that was bothering her the absolute most about this whole situation was that Rodrick still hadn’t even attempted to have sex with her, despite their whole agreement and her offer. He was seemingly unaffected by her advances, subtle as they may be. She had already been the one to offer it in the first place so she wasn’t going to keep bringing it up but she thought she was doing a good job making sure he knew the offer was still on the table.

She’d kissed the side of his mouth after all, if that wasn’t a sign then what was? She’d then let her hand linger a little too long, a little too close to his upper thigh when they sat together for the first time at lunch the next day with Gretchen and Karen, just to see his reaction. She felt smug when he glanced down and swallow thickly, adjusting his legs under the table. Not as unaffected as she’d thought.

Thursday, when Rodrick was driving her home, Regina sat her purse and his backpack in the back on the truck floor board as usual. He stopped at a red light, lighting drumming his hands on the steering wheel to a song on the radio. Regina unbuckled her seatbelt & leaned over the middle console to reach her purse on the floor.

Did she conveniently wear a mini skirt that day? Maybe. Leaning over to dig around for her purse, nearly her entire ass was on display. She wasn’t crazy enough to not wear shorts underneath, she was in class after all, but her boy shorts when bent over like this left little to the imagination. “Sorry, I can’t find my lipgloss.”

“What?” She heard him ask, his voice sounding strangled. She gave him a glance over her shoulder, soaking in the way he was looking at her. Pink cheeks, his mouth agape, and she knew exactly where his eyes were aimed at. She quickly pulled her lipgloss out and sat up, adjusting herself back into the seat before buckling the seat belt.

“I was just reaching for my lipgloss.” She clarified, doing her best to keep her voice neutral. She reapplied and looked over at him, taking note of the way his chest was sinking in with every deep breath he took. She wanted to learn what drove him crazy the most. “Are you okay?”

Rodrick cleared his throat, barely nodding his head. His dark eyes were still on hers and his mouth open like he was trying to will it to move and produce words. Before he could get anything out, the car behind them honked, the light had turned green. He jumped, pushing the pedal into the floor so heavily that the tires squealed. She turned to look out the window, unable to hide a faintly evil smirk on her face.

By Friday, Regina was doing what she did best, plotting an evil scheme. The feeling of obsessively thinking about someone who you assumed barely thought of you at all, was not familiar to her and it rubbed her the wrong way. Aaron had been easy to get with, both put in the same amount of effort into the relationship most days, she never chased him. All the other pointless jocks she let flirt with her had always been way more obsessed with her than she was with them.

Rodrick was a slightly different case. She would never admit to him that the thought of him was keeping her up at night and their interactions occupied at least 80% of her mind. She knew he found her attractive but why not enough to have sex with her? Was it a respect thing? Was he too nervous? No way he simply just didn’t want to. She tirelessly wondered if she was running through his mind, the way he was running through hers. She had to be. She was determined to figure it out, one way or another.

They spent all week making sure people saw them holding hands, no kissing though. She wanted the rumors to spread, specifically to Aaron and it needed to be believable. They hung around together at lunch, in the hallway, in the morning before the bell for first period rang, and every moment in between. She was surprised she wasn’t sick of seeing his face yet the way she thought she’d be.

Friday calculus came and Regina sat behind Rodrick in her usual seat. She got there early so they had a few minutes until the bell rang. She tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention. “Are you busy tonight?”

“Why? Are you asking me out?” He spun around in his seat to face her, eyebrows raised. Cocky much?

“I was thinking of inviting some friends over to swim at my house. Not a party, like 10 people max. So, are you busy or not?” She leaned forward in her desk, raising her eyebrows back at him.

Please say you’ll come. Please say you’ll come.

“Isn’t it a little cool out to be swimming?” Rodrick asked, adding to her impatience, probably on purpose. She hated his little smug face, his full lips in a small smirk drove her insane.

Regina huffed, leaning closer. “Can you just answer my question?”

“I guess I can clear my schedule for you. I’ll see you at like 7?” Rodrick taunted, Regina just nodded in reply, satisfied with his reply.

Not that he needed to know, but she hadn’t even invited anymore to her house, at least not yet.

If he said yes to coming over, she’d invite a few people to hangout so he didn’t think she was lying. If he had said no, she would’ve moped in her bedroom all night, mad that he didn’t make time for her. How pathetic was she? Still, she felt relief at his answer, no matter how sarcastic. A yes was a yes.

Two hours later, she had invited a couple of her closer friends including Karen and Gretchen, who were overjoyed at Regina’s plan.

“OMG. What are you going to wear?” Gretchen asked, checking her makeup in the bathroom mirror. Karen stood next to them, twirling her hair around her finger.

Regina truly didn’t know yet. Of course, being who she was, she had more than enough swim suits to choose from. “Something pink maybe?”

Karen nodded in approval. “The shimmery one.”

***
Regina was ready by 6:30pm sharp, dressed in a pink bikini that’s fabric sparkled and shimmered under light. It would look amazing at sunset and even better at night. She had reapplied her lipgloss twice now and kept debating putting her hair up or not, ultimately leaving it flowing down her back. Just as she threw on a coverup, her phone dinged with a message from Rodrick.

be there in like 20 mins

She didn’t bother replying, practically flying downstairs to wait by the door. Lucky for her, her parents were headed to one of her dad’s work dinners and had left 30 minutes ago. Not that her parents would’ve told her she can’t have friends over, but it meant there would be no interruptions, specifically from her nosy mom.

While waiting for Rodrick, Karen and Gretchen showed up with Cady in tow along with two football players Regina was familiar with. Not long after, Karen’s current boy toy made an appearance. Rodrick was surprisingly the last to arrive, greeting her with a small “Hey.”

Regina swung open the door, ushering him towards the backyard where the others had already gotten in to the pool. They had string lights hung up around the patio and music playing quietly by the grill. “Thanks for coming.”

Rodrick nodded, setting down his towel and pulling off his tshirt. He wasn’t necessarily muscular but he was toned enough, milky white skin stretching over his abdomen, with a small patch of dark hair trailing down.

Every guy she’d been with never had hair on their chest or stomach, they always shaved it off because she guessed that was the “normal” thing to do for jocks or something. That was the normal for her now too but she liked the way it looked on Rodrick, so much that she had to force herself to tear her eyes away.

She took off her coverup, throwing it down beside his discarded shirt on one of the tanning chairs. She watched his eyes trail up and down her figure, pride filling her. She worked hard to keep her body looking this way in addition to a lucky roll of genetics so she didn’t mind if he stared, she might’ve even preferred it.

“What do you think?” She knew she was fishing for a compliment but she didn’t care.

“You look incredible, as always.” He said, grabbing a soda out of the mini fridge on the patio.

She could hear Gretchen and Karen cat-calling her, complimenting her and urging her to come into the pool.

Rodrick laughed and took off towards the water, slowly walking in through the shallow end until it reached his thighs. “You coming in, princess?”

Regina walked to the edge of the pool, standing in up to her ankles. It was cold for nearly the middle of September. The others clearly didn’t care, swimming and talking towards the back edge of the pool. She’d almost prefer to just stand and watch Rodrick swim, his body on display. But just watching him wasn’t on her agenda tonight.

“You can come in, I’m not going to bite.” Rodrick teased, his brown eyes reflecting off the pool water.

“Good, you look like the type that would.” Regina teased back, slowly making her way deeper, making sure he had plenty of time to admire her swimsuit. She was right, it sparkled with the sun setting behind them.

Rodrick grinned at her comment, replying without missing a beat. “Don’t sound so disappointed.”

She was always impressed with the way he easily responded to her banter, like he knew just what to say to get her to react. As infuriating as it could be, she was almost fond of it now. “Please. In your dreams.”

“Don’t give my brain anymore ideas.” He said, so quietly she wouldn’t have heard him if she was a few inches further. Gretchen, who was conveniently bobbing a foot or two behind him, shot her an encouraging smile, throwing Regina a thumbs up. The thought of him dreaming about her sent her over the edge, stuck in fantasy land.

She did what he asked, making her way into the water despite the cold until she reached him. Conveniently, he kept backing up so she had to go in deeper, up to her midline now.
Much to her surprise, he held out his hand and pulled her closer until they were nearly chest to chest. “I’m your boyfriend, remember? So it’s okay to kiss me anytime you’d like.”

The blush spreading her cheeks was quickly interrupted by Cady calling her name, telling the both of them to come closer to the group. They made their way over to sit on a seat along the edge where the others were chatting.

They talked about the upcoming homecoming game, sharing their thoughts on the dance too. Regina had been so occupied with obsessing over Rodrick that homecoming had almost slipped her mind.

The conversation quickly switched to prying about the unusual pair. “I have to admit I didn’t see this coming but I kinda like it.” Cady announced, lifting her drink up in a cheers motion.

“I don’t think anyone saw it coming. From what I’ve overheard, Aaron Samuel’s isn’t too pleased about it either, Regina.” Karen’s plus one mentioned, taking a sip of his beer.

Though that was the point of this whole operation, she felt less pleased than she thought she would’ve hearing that it was working, Aaron was jealous. “What can I say? Rodrick won me over.”

“It must be my irresistible charm. Or is it my body?” Rodrick asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm. All eyes were on him and Regina, sponging up any information they were willing to give out on how this relationship came about.

Regina laughed. “Don’t flatter yourself.” It was both. Definitely both but she wasn’t going to admit that in front of a crowd.

“Oh, I don’t have to. You do it for me.” He countered, checking her eyes for any signs of overstepping as the whole group cackled. She just sent him a smirk back, rolling her eyes. This was definitely helping solidify the whole “boyfriend girlfriend” thing, the others could tell they had a real connection, no matter how sassy.

Everyone dispersed, swimming around the pool together, chatting and drinking. Regina didn’t drink anything, wanting to stay sober for the night so she could focus on her objective. Get Rodrick to crack his stone walls. They didn’t need to sleep together but she at least wanted him to admit he wanted to.

The next hour was spent talking, listening to music, and floating in the pool. Karen and Gretchen kept shooting her not-so-subtle thumbs up and mouthing words at her. She swore she saw Karen mouth “get him in bed” to her, causing her to knit her eyebrows together before she turned away.

She spent time talking with Cady about AP physics and their upcoming lab, both completely unprepared. Regina knew most people thought she was a dummy when it came to academics but that wasn’t the full truth. She tried enough to get okay grades but she just cared more about other things such as fashion and gossip.

By 10pm, only Karen and Gretchen were still there with Regina and Rodrick, not taking the hint to get out of there. They had long since moved to dipping their feet in the pool as they sat along the edge, their bathing suits almost dry.

“It’s been a long week, I’m so ready to lay down.” Gretchen sighed, propping her chin on the palm of her hand. She tucked her brown hair behind her ear, staring at the water.

Regina nodded, shooting them both a look. “Yeah, me too. I’ll see you guys tomorrow?”

“No sleepover tonight?” Karen asked, completely oblivious to the fact that Rodrick was still here and Regina was desperately trying to get him alone. Did she remember nothing from their talk earlier?

“No, I’m gonna head to bed. I’ll walk you guys to the front door.” Regina clarified, pulling her legs out of the water.

Karen did the same, wrapping her towel around herself tighter. “Are you gonna walk Rodrick to his car too?”

Regina’s eyes almost bugged out of her head, her back turned to Rodrick. She mouthed “GET OUT” to both Karen and Gretchen but Karen just looked at her cluelessly. “Not yet but I can walk you guys out.”

“Well, we can stay—“ Karen started again before Gretchen elbowed her in the side. “Ow!”

“I wanna go to bed and you’re my ride. Let’s go, Karen.” Gretchen to save the day, again. Thank you Gretchen. She walked both girls to the door, Rodrick in tow behind her. They said goodnight, promising to call and meet up tomorrow afternoon.

By the time Regina closed the door, she almost forgot who was standing behind her. The entire night had been filled with shy smiles and stolen glances from both of them. More than twice, she caught Rodrick eyeing her but she made no mention of it, not wanting to spook him. She wanted the attraction to build until he was dying to know what she looked like under her swimsuit.

“I’m gonna change into dry clothes. Come up to my room with me?” Regina asked, batting her eyelashes just the tiniest bit. He had already put his black shirt back on, leaving her a little more exposed in her bikini than she’d like.

“I knew this was all a ploy just to get into my pants.” Rodrick said jokingly but complied, following her up the staircase and down the hall. She’d never tell him but she spent an hour before everyone came over, straightening her room and choosing the perfect pajamas to slip into.

Her bedroom lamp was already turned on, thankfully leaving the harsh overhead lighting off. She even went as far as spraying her perfume on her pillows like he cared what her sheets smelt like. She left him sitting on her bed as she headed into her bathroom to change into more comfortable clothes.

By comfortable clothes, she meant a pink spaghetti strap top with an R on the chest, paired with little shorts to match. Was it practical? Maybe not but it was definitely intentional. Not too ridiculous but just enough.

Regina stepped out of her bathroom, strolling back towards her bed where he sat. He looked as anxious as ever, sitting so close to the edge of the bed that it looked like he could’ve been hovering. His hands locked together in between his long legs and his hair looked like he had just ran his fingers through it. His voice faltered when he asked her, “Why did you ask me to come up to your room?”

“I think you know why I asked you.” Regina walked closer, coming to sit at the head of her bed near her fluffed pillows. “Why did you come up with me?”

Rodrick swallowed, coming up to sit next to her, leaning against the headboard. “I think you know why, too.”

The air felt so thick that Regina could practically breathe it in. Every nerve in her body was sensitive, lit up in response to the boy sitting next to her. His brown eyes held hers, neither one having the courage to make the next move.

“Are you going to do something about it or just stare at me for the next hour?” She provoked him, turning her body so she faced him. The way he was looking at her made her skin tingle, heart nearly beating out of her chest. Rodrick looked at her like he’d never seen another girl before and she appreciated it. She was so used to wandering eyes that someone looking at her like she was the only girl in the world felt exhilarating.

“I don’t think we should have sex tonight.” Rodrick cleared his throat, moving his eyes from her eyes to her mouth then down to her bed sheets.

That might’ve stung if it weren’t for the key word “tonight.”

They shouldn’t have “sex tonight.” That didn’t mean he didn’t want to or that they never would. Just not tonight.

Regina didn’t care if they did or didn’t, she was still going to take advantage of this opportunity. Rodrick was in her bed, looking at her like he was ready to do anything she asked. “Who said anything about sex?”
She moved across the sheets on her hands and knees, coming to him until their faces were mere inches apart. “If you don’t want me, just say so.”

His pink lips parted but no words found their way out, his eyes half lidded as he glanced from her mouth back to her eyes. They were so close she could feel his breath coming out rapidly, fanning across her face, the familiar scent of what smelled like cherry chapstick. She was sure she would’ve been able to hear his heart beat if her own heart wasn’t pounding in her ears.

Regina refused to look away from him, waiting for a response. She knew he wanted her but in what way, he still needed to clarify. Just as she was about to ask him again, his warm hands reached out to her hips, pulling her down onto him.

Rodrick’s lips found hers, pressing together as he pulled her up to his body, wrapping an arm around her waist. She leaned over him, moving her legs to come up to straddle him, pushing him to lay back against the pillows. She felt like she couldn’t breathe, her hands shaking uncharacteristically with nerves.

He kept one arm around Regina’s back, holding her body to his and his other hand on the side of her bare thigh. The feeling of his fingers on her bare skin had her vision swimming but she forced herself to breathe steadily through her nose.

“Is this okay?” Rodrick pulled away to whisper but she just pushed her mouth back onto his, furiously nodding. The kiss was rougher this time, thanks to Regina taking the lead. Their mouths moved together, his tongue hesitantly prodding at her lips before she opened them to let him in.

He grabbed at her body like she was a life line, his hands unable to stay in one place for more than a few seconds. They went from her back to her waist to her hips to her hair, rubbing and stroking as they went. The tiny pair of shorts she put on left little protection against his thin swim shorts that she had forgotten he was wearing. She could feel the outline of him right against her, creating a delicious sensation.

Regina slid her hands over the back of his shoulders then neck, fingers curling into the hair at the nape of his neck, tugging. He didn’t seem to mind if his barely audible moan was anything to go off of.

Just as she was afraid she was going to run out of air, Rodrick pulled his mouth away from hers and turned his focus to her neck and collarbone instead, leaving sloppy kisses along her skin. She gasped, her breath coming out in short puffs.

Despite her best efforts of moving her hips and pressing her chest into him, his hands wouldn’t touch her exactly where she wanted. Her frustration grew as his lips started to make their way back to hers but she had no intention of letting him get off that easy.

Before their mouths could meet, Regina pulled back and tugged impatiently on the hem of his worn shirt. Rodrick pulled back, staring at her with wide eyes before she took matters into her own hands, yanking his shirt off and tossing it to the floor.

A laugh bubbled in his throat but Regina cut it off, pressing her mouth back to his. Her small palms pressed against his lower stomach, right against his small patch of hair that trailed down. Her fingers dipped under his waistband briefly and Rodrick let out a noise that sounded suspiciously close to a whimper, fanning the flame that was Regina George even more.

She grabbed his hands away from her hips and positioned them just under the cups of her bra, trying to hint at him where she wanted him. As good of a kisser as he was, she was desperate for more. His hands trailed slightly up, barely cupping her chest as his thumbs rested against her nipples through her bra.

Just as she thought she was going to get what she wanted, Rodrick pulled back his hands and his mouth, speaking between panting for air. “Damn, you’re about to get me out of these stupid swim shorts. I didn’t think you were so convincing.”

“That’s the first time I’ve failed. What’s the matter, I’m just not convincing enough?” Regina joked, crawling back so she sat at his feet instead of on top of him, her ego only slightly bruised from him stopping her. She remembered he said no sex, she just didn’t think he would’ve let her get this far.

“Are you really asking me that?” He said, looking pointedly to the obvious bulge in his pants. Regina’s cheeks heated up but a feeling of pride washed over her. It was good to know he was so easily turned on, just making out would get him hard. She’d make note of that. “I just don’t want you to change your mind. I think it’s better if we don’t do too much too fast.”

“I’m not going to change my mind.” She reminded him, no hint of sarcasm in her tone.

“My point still stands.” Rodrick stood up, searching for his discarded shirt on her floor before slipping it back on. “If you wanna get in my pants, you’ll have to work a little harder than that.”

Regina waved her hand in his direction, grinning. “We’ll see about that. Can I walk you to the door?”

He nodded, quickly coming back to the side of the bed to her. He leaned over her until she was pushed back on the bed with her elbows propping her up, a smirk on his lips. He leaned in, capturing her mouth in a deep kiss. His tongue brushed against hers once before he pulled away and planted a final kiss on the corner of her mouth, like the one she’d given him days earlier.

The way her stomach was doing flips made her sure she was going to be up all night, replaying the entire night in her head. Damn you, Rodrick. She was getting a taste of her own medicine and wasn’t sure if she liked or hated it.

He helped her stand up and they walked side by side to the front door. Opening the door, she surprised both of them by squeezing him into a hug. They had just made out on her bed but they had never even hugged. She didn’t like skipping steps, okay?

Regina watched him go until he pulled off in his truck, slowly closing the door behind him. It was nearly midnight but she didn’t feel like she needed even a wink of sleep, her entire being still lit up like a Christmas tree. She decided the first step to settling down for sleep was a shower.

She took ridiculously long in the shower, washing every inch of her body, trying to scrub the feeling of his hands off of her so she could forget it long enough to close her eyes and fall asleep. She took even longer when she got out, applying lotion and doing an excessive skincare routine.

By the time Regina laid down, it was well past midnight and she was confident in her ability to lull herself to sleep, at least for a few hours. She turned off her lamp and closed her eyes, but the dinging of her phone startled her awake seconds later. Her stomach flipped as she read “Rodrick” on the screen.

I just got interrogated by my mom, btw

I didn’t realize I put my shirt on inside out

And backwards.

Regina laughed to herself, quickly typing back.

Was it worth it?

Five minutes passed before she got a response back and his response made her heart skip a beat.

Absolutely.

My shirt smells like you, now I can never wash it.

Chapter Text

The next week went as following,

Making out in his car before school. They had already bended their rules and Rodrick had now taken Regina to school four days in a row instead of twice a week.

Conveniently running into each other on the way to the bathroom in the middle of class, then they’d make out by the water fountains.

Meeting up for the last 10 minutes of lunch to makeout behind some of the thicker trees near the parking lot.

When he’d pull up to Regina’s house to drop her off, she’d climb over the passenger seat and get on top of him, pressing her mouth to his. Thank you God for tinted windows.

He didn’t even get any peace at night, she’d text him something flirty that reminded him of their Friday exchange and he’d stay awake, unable to ignore her, replying back without missing a beat.

Keep in mind, this was all Regina’s doing. Was Rodrick all for the French kissing throughout the day? Absolutely. But she was the one initiating every kiss. She was driving him crazy.

They had been keeping up well with the “fake dating”, holding hands whenever they could and spending time together in public just enough to be seen together frequently waiting for the rumors to spread back to every North Shore student. It was working, half the school now stared at Rodrick when he walked by.

The kissing was only in private. He could tell she was trying to show him what he was missing so he’d agree to finally go a step further. He just couldn’t tell if it was because she wanted it to or for the point of doing it as a favor for him since he was letting her use him as her temporary boyfriend.

They’d pull apart and while he was out of breath, lips swollen and hair ruffled, Regina would give him a devilish smile, seemingly unaffected. She’d flip her hair, promising to see him later and saunter off.

Rodrick was fighting tooth and nail throughout school to will his boner away and calm his pulse, trying to hold himself back. Hold himself back in the sense that after he dropped her off at her house, he’d speed home and sprint up the stairs, ignoring his moms greeting just to end up in his bedroom or the shower, furiously jerking off to relieve a pinch of the tension Regina was creating.

He’d think about her body, her hands, her mouth and squeeze his eyes shut, feeling kind of dirty. When he came, he’d feel relief for all of 10 minutes before his phone would ding from a text from her, winding him back up. He knew this was probably what her plan was, it felt all too intentional to be innocent.

His mom had taken notice of the constant showering and questioned him about it, asking him if it was because he wanted to smell nice for the girl he had a crush on.

It was because of a certain girl and not because he wanted to smell good.

On Thursday, his family sat together for dinner, passing bowls and plates around the table. Rodrick’s mind was so occupied with Regina that he almost missed his mom talking to him.

“Rodrick Heffley, hello!” She rose her voice to get his attention. “Is that lipgloss on your neck?”

His eyebrows flew up his forehead and he moved his hand to wipe at both sides of his neck. Sure enough, when he pulled his hand back, shimmery pink lipgloss marked his hand. Rodrick did what came to his mind first. He lied. “No! Mom, it’s not, I—“

“Lisa told me that she heard from Janis that you had a girlfriend.” His mom cut him off, moving her broccoli around on her plate. The mention of his aunt, Janis’ mom, had all the color draining from his face. There was no way to feign ignorance. He was going to kill Janis tomorrow.

“I’m happy for you, Rodrick!” His mom reached her hand across the table to him. “Dad and I just want to make sure you’re being safe. If you need condoms or—“

Greg fell into a coughing fit, excusing himself as he reached for his water. Rodrick shot him a glare, pinching his leg under the table. This was going to be haunting his dreams for a least a month. “Mom, please! Do we have to do this in this middle of dinner? Can we not have this talk right now?”

His dad cleared his throat, setting his fork down against his plate. “Are we going to meet this girl?”

This all felt like a fever dream, humiliating as it was. He had never brought a girl home before, much less been caught with evidence of there even being one. Regina would never agree, after all that would be so far out of their agreement, he was barely even considering it. It would give some relief to his parents that they were being included in his life but that didn’t outweigh the cons.

“Please don’t harass me about this, please? I promise I know how to be ‘safe’.” Rodrick mumbled awkwardly, staring down at his plate. He sent a kick towards Greg’s leg when he heard him quietly snort, definitely plotting to use this for leverage against Rodrick later.

“I will end you. Shut up.” He whispered, shooting daggers at his younger brother. They sat in silence for a few more minutes, a grin on Greg’s face present the entire time.

Rodrick had lost his appetite, he stood up, throwing the rest of his dinner into the trash before setting his plate in the sink. His mom stood up to clean up, coming over to lean against his back and give him a hug, rubbing his shoulder. “We love you.”

“Yeah, me too, mom.” He excused himself from the kitchen, making his way upstairs. He couldn’t bring himself to be mad at her for the humiliating conversation. He knew his mom had meant well.

They didn’t have band practice today as Sam was out of town so he had nothing to do except sit in his own thoughts. Just as he sat on the edge of his bed, his phone rang in his pocket.

Rodrick read “Regina” and pressed answer.
“What’s up?”

“You don’t sound too happy to hear from me.” She replied back immediately, taking notice of his less than enthusiastic tone.

“It’s not that. I just got grilled at dinner about your lipgloss on my neck and nearly relived my 8th grade safe sex talk.” He answered, pinching between his eyebrows. Again, that conversation was nightmare fuel.

Regina laughed on the other end. “Are you ready to put the safe sex talk to use?” He knew she had been plotting. “What if you came over?”

Rodrick tossed the idea around in his head. “My parents would never let me. I’m gonna be under house arrest until they can force me to listen to their speech and take me to buy condoms.”

“Free condoms don’t sound too bad, do they?” She teased.

“At the expense of my dignity, they do.” He scoffed, sitting back against his pillows. No way he was going to have to listen to the words sex, condom, or sperm come out of either of his parents mouths. He had that talk at 13, he didn’t need it again.

“Well, forget the condoms then. What if we hung out after school?” Regina said. “Pick me up again tomorrow?”

Rodrick smiled. “I’m starting to think you’re using me as your personal chauffeur.”

“Maybe I am. But you like it, anyways.” She hung up.

***
Regina found Rodrick by his locker at the end of the day. The hallway had cleared out almost completely, most of the students wasting no time sticking around this place on a Friday. He made quick work on putting his books back into his locker, nodding his head to greet Regina when she sauntered up next to him.

He was taken aback when she pushed him up against the cold metal, putting her hands on his chest. She stood up on her tip toes, pressing her lips to his. He should have seen it coming with the way she was jumping him every time she saw him.

Another rule bent. They were kissing in public, there was nobody in the hallway but still public nonetheless.

He threaded his fingers in her silky hair, bending down to meet her mouth. It had caught him off guard but he caught up quickly, his other hand settling on her lower back. Regina flipped them around so she was pressed against the locker, gasping when her skin made contact with the cold surface.

His took advantage of her breaking the kiss, moving his mouth to her throat. The squeak of a door opening piqued his attention but he didn’t move away, placing a kiss along her jaw.

Regina pushed him away by his shoulders, clearing her throat and stroking her hair with her fingers to smooth it. They separated, Rodrick unable to hide the confusion on his face but it clicked when he saw Regina’s eyes focused on a figure making their way down the hall.

Her ex boyfriend Aaron walked in their direction, eyes blatantly looking over at them. As quick as their eyes made contact, he looked away, walking past wordlessly. Rodrick turned back, noticing Regina’s eyes staring at the floor. She furrowed her brows at him, frowning like HE had done something wrong.

Rodrick clenched his teeth, the unmistakable feeling of jealously and agitation icing his veins. She was the one who said no kissing in front of other people, just for her to then break that rule and look at him like it was his fault.

“That can’t happen again, I don’t want people to see us kiss.” Regina swallowed, still smoothing her hair. Her lips were wet, her eyes still stuck to the floor.

“You’re the one who just kissed me.” He reminded her, not missing the way she scowled at him. “You’ve also been kissing me this entire week, not really caring how private of an area we chose. All of a sudden you care if people see us?”

Regina scoffed, arms quickly coming up to cross over her chest, her telltale sign of anger. She was quick to be defensive, “Don’t you remember that was one of the rules of this little relationship? If Aaron sees us kiss, he’ll move on and find a new girlfriend instead of just being jealous. That wasn’t the plan.”

“And what about when he finds out we’ve been doing more than just kissing? That I’ve got his ex girlfriend in my car, grinding on top of me everyday?” He knew it was a crude remark but it still was true.

Saying it aloud had his stomach twisting into knots. Regina blushed, her green eyes looking away from him.

“Stop being a jerk. You aren’t going to tell him about that.” She lifted her chin, sounding more like she was trying to convince herself than anything.

“So you’re just going to keep me your dirty little secret?” Realistically, that’s all Rodrick was and he knew that from the start. It hadn’t bothered him until now. Now it was starting to rub him the wrong way. All the sneaking around, her calling all the shots.

Regina was getting to reap all the benefits while Rodrick would wind up still single, with friends he didn’t care about having, more sexually frustrated than before. Not to mention the awkward conversations he was encountering with his parents and the slightly worse than before grades since his focus was wrapped up somewhere else.

“Don’t act like you don’t prefer it that way, too. You knew how this would be from the moment I proposed it.” She reminded him, beginning to head towards the parking lot. “Just take me home.”

They walked silently, Rodrick stewing in his own thoughts. She was right, of course, he knew her conditions when he agreed. But that didn’t mean he had to get nothing out of this arrangement. He knew what she had offered in exchange for him being used to make Aaron jealous, he just didn’t like the way it sounded. He was still working on switching his thoughts from it being borderline prostitution to mutually beneficial, the way Regina claimed it was.

He was so deep in thought he didn’t open the car door for her, earning him a scowl. He didn’t care, he was done being polite. The pair drove in silence, Regina stealing glances at him every few minutes to gauge his expression.

“You’re not allowed to be mad at me.” She broke the silence, moving her legs so they faced her window instead of the middle console. He had seen her do it many times before, her body language speaking for itself when she was upset.

“Thanks for letting me know.” He said, not taking his eyes off the road. His anger kept growing, his mind running over every interaction they’d had. In every scenario, she was the one wearing the pants and calling the shots. He had been fine with it until now.

They rode the rest of the drive with his eyes on the road and hers watching the passing cars next to them, done exchanging words. Rodrick was already on edge at the start of the day, his patience running thin.

It stared with the awkward family dinner last night, he had come to school today ready to kill Janis for telling her mom about Regina, just to find out she had skipped. He sent her at least five angry texts, all of them left on read.

Next, his dad texted him letting him know they were taking Manny to one of his “friends” birthday parties on Saturday so he’d have to stay home to keep an eye on Greg. Manny was three years old, he didn’t even have real friends.

Now, Regina was dodging him in front of Aaron to save face, even though she was practically jumping him every moment they were alone. Her mood changed so fast, he was getting whiplash. He had to wonder what she actually wanted from him.

“Here we are, your majesty.” Rodrick pulled up to her street, parking where he always did. He was just ready to go home and get this weekend over with.

Regina turned to open the car door. “You aren’t going to come in?”

Rodrick scoffed, unable to stop his smart remark from slipping out. “Is this real or fake? I’m starting to feel like a real boyfriend, being at your beck and call.”

“Whatever, asshole. I’m only asking because I still have your calculus notes in my bedroom that you keep asking me to give back.” Her jaw tightened, shoulders stiff as she stepped out of his car.

“Fine. Whatever.” His reply was childish but she was right, he needed to come up to fetch his notes. Slamming the car door earned him an ugly look from her before they walked up the driveway.

They wordlessly entered her house and he followed her up to her bedroom, his jaw tensed. She had his notes sprawled out on her dresser but the rest of her room was as neat as ever, not a thing out of place.

“Here.” She gathered the papers, pushing them towards his chest. “If that’s all you needed then you can find your way back to the door.” He still stood there, glued to the spot.

“Did you or did you not want your notes back?” Regina asked, wrinkling her nose the way she did when she was annoyed.

That was what he came for but for some reason his feet wouldn’t move off the floor, like they knew he wasn’t done here. When he stood there without taking his notes from Regina’s hands, she tossed them back to the dresser and put her hands on her hips. “Say it.”

“What?” He asked, his mouth finally catching up to his mind. He felt like he was drugged, brain foggy and slow.

“Say that you’ve been thinking about us. About me. My offer.” Regina said, eye contact unwavering. She shuffled closer, placing her hands on his hips and pushing him until the back of his knees hit the bed.

It was like she was reading his mind, knowing that his desperation to know if she was serious or not was at its breaking point. They had only kissed, as heated as it had been, still neither of them had taken it further. Their argument today was the final push.

Rodrick said the first thing he thought of when it came to Regina, as pathetic as it was. “You’re out of my league.”

“And yet, here you are.” She shrugged, pushing him again until he folded, sitting on the edge of her comforter. “In my bed.”

She crawled into his lap, her lips stretched into a mischievous smile. When their lips met, it was like a dam broke, washing away all of his anger and confusion that had built up. It started slow but tender, her hands finding their usual spot on the nape of his neck.

She wrapped around him, fogging his thoughts. As bitchy as Regina could be, it was impossible to resist her, especially when she came at him like this.

He wanted to question her about the whole situation but he didn’t do anything except happily comply, once again letting her take the lead. He was a complete fool for her.

Rodricks mouth moved against hers, his hands resting against her thighs that straddled him. The familiar slow ache building in his stomach was impossible to ignore, his fingers squeezing against her skin. They had made out multiple times in the car and it was good, cramped as it may be, but this was better. The air felt more definite, more promising of this to go further.

In tandem with the pleasure of having Regina on top of him, was anxiety. Both of them knew nothing would happen at school or in his car, not for their first time at least. Now that barrier was removed, long forgotten as they laid on her bed, her parents car missing from the driveway. The possibility of something happening was much more real. And he was nervous.

Regina’s tongue found his, her fingers pulling gently on his hair. His breath was coming out in short bursts, his pulse pounding in his ears. When he reached to put one hand on her cheek, his hand was shaking.

“Nervous?” She pulled back, giggling, which did little to calm his nerves. She was flushed but there wasn’t any other signs of her being nervous. He had no idea how many times Regina had done this but it was certainly more than Rodrick. He considered lying but he knew that when they started, she’d quickly be able to tell. So truth it was.

His face felt feverishly hot as his found his voice. “I’m a virgin.”

Regina’s smile fell, her expression falling flat, only adding to his growing anxiety. Was this a deal breaker for her? It was embarrassing to be so inexperienced at 18, especially when trying to get with someone like her who obviously was not. “Are you joking?”

“No.” Rodrick straightened, Regina climbing off of his lap to sit next to him. Not a good sign. “I’ve done other things, um— a few times. But never…”

“What is a few times?” Her question wasn’t angry but it sounded harsh compared to the usual sweet, sarcastic tone she used. His natural habit to lie sat over him heavy like a rain cloud but he fought it off, not wanting this to be fake between them. They had enough lies between them.

“Two— three times?” He chewed at his bottom lip, hands coming together in his lap. “If this is a dealbreaker, I get it. It’s kind of embarrassing—“

Regina cut him off, holding her palm up to silence him. “No, this is good. This is perfect.”

“What?” He didn’t think he’d heard correctly, his nerves overwhelming his hearing.

Regina turned to him, a satisfied glint shining in her green eyes. Honestly, it was scaring him a little bit. “Every teenage guy that has experience has a certain way they do things. Some good, some bad. But it’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks. You’re a puppy. This is perfect.”

“What?” Rodrick asked again, mouth agape. This was 100% not the response he was thinking he’d get, not even close.

“You have practically no experience. I can use that to my advantage and teach you what I like, without you having to unlearn what you’ve already learned.” She clarified, scooting closer to him on the bed. “What stuff have you done?”

“Um.. I’ve fingered a girl twice.” He answered sheepishly. “And given a different girl head once.. but I don’t think I was any good at it.”

“And you’ve never gotten.. in return?” She asked. When he shook his head, Regina’s smiled grew, putting Rodrick even farther on edge. This was not a girls normal reaction to being told they were probably going to receive terrible sex. “I don’t care. By the time we’re done, there will be no telling how you were a virgin before.”

Before he could reply, she urged him up towards the top of her bed to her pillows and pushed at his chest until his back hit her comforter, leaning over him to press her mouth against his. One hand laid on his jaw while the other found solace on his stomach, right above his jeans.

As easy as that, he could feel himself thickening again in his pants. He was serious about her giving him whiplash, he never knew what was coming next.

Their lips were moving but the skin on his stomach was on fire as she rested her hand against him. When she moved, fingers dipping slightly below the waistband of his jeans, he jerked like he had been shocked, earning him a giggle from Regina.

He grinned dumbly, embarrassed but it got chased away by Regina, her tongue prodding his. Seriously, the theme of the day was embarrassment. He sighed into her mouth, breath coming out quicker and she took advantage of it to nip at his bottom lip.

She pulled away, grabbing the bottom of his shirt to pull it over his head. “Take off your jeans.”

“What? You don’t want me to.. you know, do something for you so you can teach me?” He ran his fingers through his hair, willing them to stop trembling. Of course, he was nervous to do something for her but the thought of her doing it for him was almost more nerve wracking.

What if he couldn’t stay hard, what if he came too quick, what if he did something wrong? Those were just a few of the scenarios running through his mind.

“Another time. Learning what I like starts with me learning what you like. And since you’ve never gotten anything from a girl, you can’t tell me what you want. So I’m going to find out.” She said it so matter of factly, like it was the obvious answer. “Take off your jeans. Now.”

What else could he do except obey?

His hands flew to the button of his pants, shaking as they worked to unzip them. She watched him before helping push them down his legs, leaving him in just his underwear. He cursed himself for wearing his old, worn pair today though it wasn’t like he owned “sexy” underwear anyways.

“You’re wearing too many clothes still.” He said, his hands moving to pull off Regina’s shirt next. It wasn’t fair for him to be stripped down to just his underwear while she sat fully clothed. She didn’t hesitate to take off her shirt and pants, leaving her in a black lace bra with matching underwear.

Had he seen girls naked before? Sure. Did he almost come in his pants at the sight of Regina in just her underwear? Yes.

This all felt like a fever dream, totally unreal. Rodrick had thought it so many times but it was still true. He was here, with the sexiest girl he’s ever seen, in her bed, about to lose his virginity. Or at least getting one step closer to losing his virginity.

Regina watched his admiring eyes run over her body, throwing one leg in between his on the bed. They resumed kissing, both their hands wandering the other’s body. He put his hands wherever they could reach, her hair, her back, her butt.

He was so hard it was almost painful by the time she put her hand back on his stomach, close to the top of his boxers. Every light touch had him nearly jumping out of his skin, completely wound up and desperate for more. Every graze felt like too much and not enough at the same time.

She bit down gently on his bottom lip, her small hand holding his jaw. When she ran her hand over his erection through his underwear, he moaned. He was too far gone to be embarrassed by any noises he was making, his mind thinking of nothing except how good it felt to be touched by her. He knew he probably looked like a mess, lips swollen and his face flushed but he was beyond caring.

Regina continued running her hand over him, nipping at his lips and tugging at his messy hair. His mouth fell open, breathing heavily onto her skin. She moved to his neck, peppering small kisses against his clammy skin while he sat there, panting. “Take them off.”

Rodrick was nearly vibrating, his hands still trembling as he pushed his underwear down his legs. His erection sprung out, hard as could be with precum shining on the slit. His cheeks burned but Regina gave no reaction, no hint on if it was satisfactory or not.

She kissed him, more aggressively this time, her tongue sweeping into his mouth. When she deepened it, her hand wrapped around his dick, giving it a slow jerk. He gasped into her mouth, unable to keep up with kissing her anymore.

He had jerked off more times than he could count but it didn’t compare to Regina’s silky hand on him. It was slow, almost tortuously slow but delicious, better than every single time he did it on his own and it had barely started.

Her mouth moved to his throat again, sucking on his skin as he groaned. He was almost sure to get a hickey to show off tomorrow but he didn’t care. It was a nice switch from her pushing him off her in the hallway an hour ago.

Rodricks eyes were shut so tightly he was seeing stars. He felt her move away from him, her hand removed from him for a brief second. When he opened his eyes, he caught a glimpse of her between his legs, right before she wrapped her lips around his dick.

“Holy— fuck.” Those two words probably should have never been combined in a sentence. His hips jerked roughly into her mouth but the words of an apology on his tongue fell short when she bobbed her head. “Regina.”

She hummed around him, sending an electric shock down his spine. She grabbed his hands that were desperately gripping her sheets and laid them gently on her head, nodding to give the okay.

He wasted no time threading his fingers through her hair, careful not to push her head down. He was inexperienced but he knew girls usually hated that and he wasn’t about to ruin his first time by being an ass.

He was self aware enough to know he wasn’t going to last long but he still attempted to fight his climax, looking away from her and focusing on the ceiling and then the backs of his eyelids.

The view was so tempting, her leaning over him with her ass in the air, blonde hair falling over his thighs but he was determined to make this last. His lips parted, a drunken half smile playing on his mouth that was quickly gone with the next lick of her tongue.

She was also not going easy on him for his first time. She relentlessly swirled her tongue, sucking softly as she worked on him, her hand working in sync with her mouth.

Regina continuously switched between pulling off and licking from the base to the tip and pulling him back into her mouth, sucking and bobbing.

He kept looking at her then looking away, trying to calm himself so he didn’t come immediately. One hand pressed against his hip to support her weight while the other covered what her mouth couldn’t, holding him at the base.

He was panting, moaning every time she moved even an inch. He threw his head back onto the pillow and clenched his jaw, attempting to be quiet. Every porn he had ever seen, the guy was not the one making all the sounds, the girl was and he was probably starting to humiliate himself. Everyone knew porn wasn’t real life but he didn’t have enough experience to know what was true vs not.

The three experiences he had with a girl were slightly underwhelming, quick spur of the moment occurrences. He was nervous, he didn’t know what he was doing and the girl offered zero advice on what to do so they were unsatisfying and short. So, he was basing this off shitty experiences and corny porn he had seen. Not a great combo.

He didn’t like to think about Regina with other guys, much less with their dick in her mouth but he was glad she at least knew what she was doing. It was like taking a class with the worlds smartest man as the professor, you learned tips and tricks from the best of the best.

Regina pulled off quickly, her fingers still wrapped around him. “Don’t be quiet. I like it.”
That was all the encouragement he needed. When she put her mouth back around him, he moaned.

The base of his spine began to tingle and goose bumps broke out along his skin, his eyes squeezed shut in pleasure. Her velvet tongue swirled around the head, sliding along the underside of his dick. The sounds he was making were obscene, forcing their way out before he could swallow them.

“Regina..” His grip on her hair tightened involuntarily, the familiar feeling of an orgasm building in his stomach. He didn’t know how long it had been, less than 10 minutes he was sure, more than 5 if he was lucky but it was too good for it to matter. This was probably a record for Regina on the shortest time she’d ever given head.

Her mouth moved on him for another minute or two, his hands shaking as they held her hair. His legs felt like they were going numb, his entire body buzzing with pleasure. He could feel his orgasm from his toes to the tips of his fingers, chasing the feeling with every stroke from Regina.

“I’m— fuck. I’m gonna—“ He couldn’t even finish his sentence, his voice falling flat. A few seconds passed before his dick pulsed as he came, Regina pulling off of him after a few seconds to use her hand to finish him off.

Rodricks hips jerked towards her hand, a noise suspiciously like a whimper finding its way out of his throat. Jesus, this was turning in to a humiliation ritual.

His vision was spotty like he was ready to blackout, his hearing muffled as she climbed up to him. She handed him tissues next to her bedside and he pushed away the thought of how many others guys had received the same after Regina was done with them, using them to wipe himself off.

They laid next to each other, Rodrick working on slowing his breathing. He pulled back on his underwear, averting his eyes from her. She leaned over, pressing her lips to his softly, forcing him to look at her. “Was that okay?”

He huffed, hiding a shy smile. “Oh, please. That was probably the quickest anyone has ever came. I can barely feel my legs right now.”

“High praise.” Regina beamed. “You’ll last longer next time.” She stated it so matter of factly, like there was no doubt about it. There would be a next time.

He turned to her, pulling her to his chest to hold her. “Are you trying to cuddle me?”

“So what?” He said, moving her hair over her shoulder. He kissed her again, laying his face in the crook of her neck. A few seconds passed before she wrapped her arms around him too, wiggling in closer. She felt stiff, like she wasn’t used to being held after but he couldn’t bring himself to stop.

What she said next shocked him. “Will you go to the homecoming game with me?”

It made sense, being her current boy toy but still, he knew homecoming was a big deal for her and her friends. He didn’t think she’d want him there but it was a nice surprise. He was honestly expecting her to go without a date, not thinking she would still be using him to make Aaron jealous as homecoming was 2 fridays from now.

They never set an end date, they just agreed to stop whenever Aaron was jealous. And he was. So how much longer would this continue? He didn’t know but he was doing just fine with their current arrangement.

“Yeah, I’ll go with you.” He answered.