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Chapter Text

“I couldn’t kill her, Phil,” said Clint, looking through the reinforced glass at the spy he had been sent to kill but had brought home instead.

“I know,” sighed Phil. “We’ll figure it out.”

The couple looked at the Black Widow. She was sitting still on the bed, looking at the window they were looking in. She couldn’t see out but she knew someone would be watching.

“Daddy,” said Tony, running down the hall and jumping into Clint’s arms, laughing as Clint swung him around.

“Hey kiddo,” laughed Clint. “How was your lunch with Uncle Steve?”

“It was awesome,” said Tony. “He got me a milkshake and extra whipped cream.”

“Oh he did, did he?” said Phil, raising his eyebrows at Steve who was approaching at a slower pace. “Wasn’t that nice of him.”

Steve smiled sheepishly.

“Daddy, is that the lady you brought home?” asked Tony, pointing through the window at the Black Widow. “Nick says you bring home strays and that’s one of them.”

“What do you think of her?” asked Phil.

Tony studied the woman for a while, head cocking to the side.

“She looks sad,” said Tony. “And she came home with you, so I think she wants to stay. Why don’t you ask her?”

“I’m going to,” said Phil.

“Can I come with you?” asked Tony.

“No, I want you to stay with Daddy for this,” said Phil. “But you can watch if you want.”

Tony nodded and crawled onto Clint’s shoulders. His small hands gripped Clint’s hair for balance while Phil straightened his tie and entered the room.

“Hello,” said Phil mildly. “My name is Agent Phil Coulson.”

“Who’s the kid out there?” asked the Black Widow.

“Your name is Natasha Romanov, also known as the Black Widow,” continued Phil. “Hawkeye brought you in after he was ordered to kill you.”

“Is it your kid?” asked Black Widow. “I could hear the high pitched tones of a child and there wouldn’t be a child here unless it was owned by one of the agents. So is it yours?”

“How about we talk about your options here,” said Phil.

“I’ll talk to the kid or not at all,” said Black Widow. “The kid at least hasn’t made up it’s mind about me yet.”

Phil glanced at the window where he knew Clint was watching with Steve and Tony. Phil walked out and Clint followed with Tony to a different room, leaving Steve to supervise the assassin.

“No way,” said Clint as soon as they were in the room, lifting Tony off his shoulders but keeping him in his arms protectively. “Not happening.”

“I know,” said Phil, sitting down at the table. “I didn’t say we would let him, I just want to talk about our options.”

“I wanna talk to her,” said Tony.

“No Tony,” said Clint.

“But she doesn’t want to talk to anyone else.”

“And she’s very dangerous so I am not letting you be in there with her.”

“What if you were with me?” asked Tony.

“Still no. If she got through me then there would be nothing to stop her from hurting you.”

“What if Papa comes with us?” asked Tony. “Papa can hold me, you can protect us, and if she doesn’t want to play nice then we can leave.”

“It’s not happening, Tony,” snapped Clint, louder than he meant.

Tony flinched and slid down, away from Clint and over to Phil. Clint groaned as Tony started to cry in Phil’s shoulder. This was not how he wanted his day to go and Tony still had an appointment with Bruce before they could go home.

“Let’s talk about this later,” said Phil meaningfully at Clint.

“Fine,” said Clint, waving his hand. “I’m going for a walk.”

Clint stormed out, leaving Phil and Tony at the table.

“It’s okay, baby,” said Phil, standing and rocking from side to side. “You’re fine. You’re okay.”

Tony clung to Phil, his cries picking up in volume and intensity. When he began to hyperventilate and would not respond to Phil, the agent went ahead and headed to Bruce’s office. The doctor was reading a book but set it aside instantly when Phil brought a panicked Tony into his room.

“What happened?” demanded Bruce.

“Clint snapped at him,” said Phil.

“Okay,” said Bruce slowly. “That doesn’t explain the panic attack. Snapping hasn’t been a trigger before.”

“After he snapped he walked out,” said Phil, still rocking Tony. “Baby, please, Dr. Bruce is here. Can you show him those nice breathing exercises you’ve been practicing?”

It took almost half an hour to calm him down and even then Tony refused to be set down. It was several steps back from when Tony first joined their family. Phil sat on the couch with Tony in his lap, Bruce in his chair, giving the two space so as to not crowd Tony.

“So Tony,” said Bruce. “What do you want to talk about today? Anything you want.”

“Why doesn’t Daddy want me anymore?” asked Tony, his voice soft and resigned. “Is he going to return me now?”

“Oh, baby, no,” said Phil, his heart clenching at his son’s insecurities. They had been working so hard on convincing Tony he was there to stay. “No, Daddy loves. He’s just upset and scared right now. He didn’t mean to upset you.”

“Then why did he leave?” asked Tony.

“When he’s upset he likes to be alone but he always comes back,” assured Phil.

Tony, however, was not going to be convinced until he heard that from Clint himself and Clint was not there. Eventually, Phil asked if he could reschedule with Bruce for another time when Tony was feeling better and headed home. Phil ended up walking the entire way because Tony wouldn’t sit in the backseat alone and the bus was too crowded. When they arrived home, Hulk was thrilled to see them. Tony was equally as thrilled and settled on the floor with the dog while Phil put in a movie so he could make dinner.

Tony fell asleep during the movie, the panic attack and crying having taken it out of him. Phil sighed when he spotted his boy fast asleep using Hulk as a pillow, Hulk curled protectively around his charge. Phil was going to strangle Clint when his husband returned.

Chapter Text

Phil was sitting up in bed, reading over a report, when Clint entered the room. The archer was quiet and Phil didn’t say a word as Clint changed into his pajamas. Phil continued reading his report until Clint sat down on top of the covers cross legged.

“I’m sorry,” said Clint.

“What are you sorry for?” said Phil mildly.

“I’m sorry I got mad and stormed off,” said Clint.

“You did what you needed to do,” said Phil. “But while you were doing what you needed to I was sitting with a crushed little boy who thinks his daddy doesn’t love him anymore.”

“What?” said Clint, eyes wide. “Why would Tony think that?”

“Honey, I know you need space when you’re mad but Tony doesn’t understand that. He’s coming from a world where anytime someone walked out that door they didn’t come back. And I know, Tony has come leaps and bounds since we’ve brought him home but he still has a long ways to go. So yes, Tony spent the afternoon crying because he thought you didn’t want him anymore.”

Clint was frozen in shock.

“Look,” said Phil, finally setting aside the reports and giving Clint his full attention. “I’m not trying to make you feel bad. I understand that you were scared – I’m scared too. But Tony’s also scared and we need to figure something out so this doesn’t happen again.”

“I can’t believe Tony thinks I don’t want him,” said Clint softly.

“He’s just scared right now.”

“Where is he?”

“In his room with Hulk, asleep last I saw.”

“I’m going to go check on him,” said Clint.

In Tony’s room, the kid was curled up with Hulk, his thumb in his mouth. With years of practice and training, Clint silently made his way to the bed and sat on the edge. Even in his sleep, Tony was crying, and that was probably more heartbreaking than anything else.

“Oh baby,” said Clint quietly.

He reached out and pushed some of Tony’s slightly sweaty locks out of his face. Tony blinked his eyes open.

“Daddy?” said Tony, turning slightly so his head was resting more on Clint’s hand than his pillow.

“Hey baby,” said Clint with a soft smile.

“Why are you here?” asked Tony.

“I missed you,” said Clint. “I wanted to check on you.”

Tony looked at him suspiciously, clearly just waiting to be hurt. Clint lifted Tony up and into his lap.

“When do I go back?” asked Tony. “’Cause Papa doesn’t want to return me, you know. So you have to take it up with him.”

“Baby boy, you are mine and I will never return you,” said Clint, cuddling Tony closer. “I may get upset and scared but I need you to know that I’m never going to let you go.”

“Then why did you leave?”

“I was scared. My job can be dangerous and that lady you saw today, she is a very dangerous lady. I don’t want anything to happen to you and when it started to look like you would be going in to talk to the Black Widow, I got really scared. Being scared made me lash out in anger and storm off. I didn’t leave because I didn’t love you, I left because I couldn’t stand the idea of you in danger.”

“Oh,” said Tony softly.

The kid wasn’t sure he believed Clint but Clint had never lied to him before, so Tony decided to just wait and see.

“Can I talk to the lady?” asked Tony after a few minutes.

Clint tensed up.

“I don’t have to go inside, we could sit in the window and talk through it,” said Tony. “She looked really scared, Daddy.”

“We’ll talk to Papa and see what he thinks,” hedged Clint because as much as he hated the idea of his son having any interactions with someone so dangerous, he had brought the woman in because he thought she had a shot at redeeming herself.

Tony nodded, yawned, and snuggled more into Clint’s chest.

“You should go back to sleep, baby boy,” said Clint, kissing Tony’s messy brown hair.

“No!” said Tony, sitting upright when he felt Clint start to set him back on the bed. “No, you have to stay.”

“Baby, it’s way past your bedtime,” said Clint, trying to sound reasonable. “You have Hulk here and I’ll be just across the hall with Papa.”

“No!” screamed Tony, tears instantly springing to his eyes as he wailed and pushed away from Clint.

Clint let the boy do what he needed, even though it hurt his heart to see his son push away from him and practically fall to the floor before running to the opposite corner of the room, crying the entire time. It was something they had been working on with Bruce; sometimes when Tony got upset he couldn’t find a way to express what he needed, so he lashed out. They had made it to the point where Tony no longer hit but instead learned to put distance between himself and the person he might hurt. The next step was working to get him comfortable enough to say what he needed before getting so upset, but that was still a work in progress. Phil entered the room, took in the positions of his husband and son, and sighed quietly to himself before walking over to Tony and sitting near the boy on the ground, back to the wall.

“What do you need, Tony?” asked Phil softly.

“I – I want,” sobbed Tony, trying to calm down but quickly working himself into a panic attack. “I want to – to – to stay with you tonight!”

“Okay,” said Phil easily. “Can I pick you up, baby?”

Tony nodded as he cried.

Phil picked up the child and Tony instantly burrowed into his shoulder, sobbing out his emotions and exhaustion. Clint looked at Phil sadly, utterly devastated that for the second time that day he had been the source of his child’s tears.

“Let’s all go to bed, shall we?” said Phil softly, nodding towards their bedroom.

Clint led the way and together they settled Tony into bed with them, the boy laying in the middle with his fathers on either side. Tony still wasn’t settled down but he was no longer sobbing and both men knew that within the next half hour Tony would cry himself into an exhausted sleep. Sure enough, twenty-seven minutes later, Tony was fast asleep, on hand fisting Phil’s sleep shirt while the other thumb had slipped into his mouth.

“I really fucked up,” said Clint softly, gazing at the sleeping human he had vowed to always protect.

“Darling, we knew that Tony had emotional issues when we fell in love with him,” said Phil softly. “He’s been doing so much better it’s easy to forget certain triggers. He adores you and he’ll bounce back, just make yourself available to him constantly for the next week or so so he can see that you leaving really was because you were upset and not about Tony.”

“You know he still wants to talk to that woman?”

“I think if we set up the correct parameters and took every precaution it might actually benefit both of them – the Black Widow with trusting us and Tony with his self confidence.”

“But she’s dangerous! We can’t teach him to ignore that just because he thinks she might have some good left in her.”

“He sounds an awful lot like his Daddy,” said Phil with a soft smile.

Clint groaned, realizing how true it was.