Work Text:
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now playing; Ever After by MICO,
1:08 minute mark
Something was utterly, terribly wrong.
The rooftop was warmer to Rin than it should have been, as if it was still sunset, despite the star setting hours previous. It was also too cold to be this warm. He doesn’t even know what it feels like, just wrong. Wrong in the way that probes at your skin, unrelenting, pushing at your muscles, massaging them into form. Wrong in the way the destructive waves crashed against Sagami Bay (相模湾), in the way that it seems to plead and cry for love and attention, not just to be looked at. Wrong in the way Yo’s very touch feels forbiddenly familiar and the smell of their apartment isn’t printer paper and dust-free glass, but ochazuke on a rainy day where it’s perfect to stay in bed while the cold nips at your bare skin.
It’s one of those days, where Yo is shifting and the cyan in his iris is sharp, like ice, and darting around nervously. Quite frankly, Rin doesn’t know why Yo is so nervous, and it’s just not the place to ask. It’s never his place to ask. Because if there is one thing Rin Itoshi knows, it’s that he does not - in any way, shape, or form - deserve Yo Hiori.
He’s insufferable, so if his boyfriend has been driven over the edge of his patience, which by some miracle he hasn’t managed to thrash to pieces back during their time in the Blue Lock project, then he understands (he doesn’t, but for the sake of Yo’s peace and sake he’ll learn to understand).
It’s also quiet, save for the shared wired earphone connected up to Rin’s phone, their shared playlist on shuffle and playing Ever After by MICO. There was also the occasional vibration on his phone, Yo tapping away on the screen in the angle where Rin loved hearing the most (was that weird? of course it was.) and exhaling sharp breathes Rin hadn’t even realised he’d taken in. From the frequency and small eyerolls that Yo gave it was obvious it was their shared ‘circle of… aquaintences’ (he knows they’re friends, but he’d rather watch Sae and the Insect flirt over a candle dinner than admit that, and Rin really would kill himself before even reaching the proximity of either of them required to witness such an event unfold) but he’s unsure if it’s the locked group chat Ego had made them right before The NeoEgoist League that he’d muted the moment he was added or the, undoubtedly likely, separate group chat that possibly doesn’t involve him (not like he cares, if they need anything from him it’s either not important enough to ask directly or important enough to ask him directly).
Well, Rin doesn’t usually care, because Yo usually isn’t rotating his screen just barely inward, enough to make a notice. Because Yo usually doesn’t act all jittery, and put on their emo high school music playlist they made on the whim to have background music for any games they played, though often the music came with the experience so it became a lukewarm, sparsely used playlist.
The air had shifted though, through the corner of his eye, he saw the bright blue of his lover’s screen turn off, the light blue hues dancing on his face unevident, proof that he’d left his previous digital conversation, and just like that, the song came to its final few notes, as if planned to.
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now playing; About You by The 1975,
0:00 minute mark, looped.
“Rin,”
It was sharp, a piercing yet extremely melodic etch that rasped out of Yo’s mouth, “We’ve obviously known each other for a while now but-”
Something in Rin’s ear makes everything turn to static, the music, the soft cry in the wind, the retreat of waves frictioning against each other on the beach below, it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t look up, doesn’t let anything show on his face, because what difference would it make?
“-I understand that after this, we’ll never go back to how we are right now, but, i just-”
The blues were all mixing into each other, apart from Yo’s stupidly bright cyan hair, their surroundings started turning into mush, a concoction of different azures. Yo was finally doing it, right? Just when Rin had lowered the very last wall, just when he’d begun to believe everything he said without the hesitancy that plagued their earlier relationship. He’d worn Yo, he was sure of it. Yo was more distant than he’d ever been, even if they weren’t the touchiest in the beginning of their relationship, they had hugged more, or cuddled a bit in the dark of night when all the cameras had been turned off to save electricity bills flooding out of Ego’s pocket, but now, Yo barely touched him at all.
He could do without sexual intimacy, but now being ripped away from simple things until night, where he was asleep and could barely enjoy the proximity of his lover to the extent he’d like.
“-So, would ya?” He didn’t even hear what Yo was saying (of course he didn’t) but there was no need. Not when he knew exactly what was going to happen anyways.
“Yeah..” He refused to look up, his cheeks were warmer, puffier, while his eyes pricked with tears, threatening to spill over his lacrimal gland and onto his reddening cheeks that felt too hot to be so cold. “Yeah, okay..”
He glanced over, expecting to see Yo’s (Hiori’s?? Wow, it's been years since Rin has had to call him Hiori…) face to look even slightly remorseful, a bit guilty, or upset, nostalgic to their first argument that had totally been Rin’s fault. Instead of that, or anything similar, he looks up to see the love of his life beaming down at him. He didn’t even notice the moment he stood up, and didn’t even have time to process it before he sat back down, his legs joining Rin’s own in dangling over the ledge, swinging with energy.
“Ya mean it? Ya really do right? Ya wouldn’t lie to me ‘bout this stuff, would’ya Rin? Oh my-” He paused, looking at the tears that ran in races down Rin’s face, “Hey… Rin, darlin’ what’s wrong?” He practically cooed at him, his ecstatic expression twisting into worry, and although Rin had wanted to see him worried, he felt guilty for wiping the happiness that painted Yo’s facial canvas.
“Rin, baby what’s up” He reached out, cupping Rin’s face in his firmly slender hands “Come on, don’t cry.”
Rin, in turn, could only hiccup and sob verbally, rather than provide a response, which is strange, because nowadays, he barely cried let alone have such a visceral reaction, and to what? The only person he’d let in close in all the years since that day on the snowy field finally having it up to here with him, finally leaving like he had expected them to years ago, except he was cruel enough to wait until he was trusting enough to believe that he’d stay, which is arguably worse.
“Ju-st” hic “give me a-” hic “-minute I.. I’ll be fine” He slurred out, thankful they both chose to come out at 2 in the morning rather than a different time when the likelihood of someone walking past and overhearing The Rin Itoshi’s undoing over one of the most devastating conversations in his life.
“Are you sure? Oh god” Rin saw the panic in Yo’s eyes, it distorted every bit of joy present from his face before, turning it into something that still managed to tug into Rin’s heart, no matter how hard he tried to not let it, “Tabito said ‘Toya got emotional when he proposed, but, I didn’t think you’d be crying so hard, darlin’.”
That caught Rin by complete surprise, “Huh?”
“I jus- I mean that well.. ya’ know, I thought ch’you’d be flustered- at most since like the whole speech was lowkey kinda sappy and like- totally out water for either of us since I think the only time I remember anythin’ close to it was when I confessed to ya’, back in Blue Lock and that confession was shitty as fuck and-” But even as Yo continued to ramble on, Rin could only stare at him, eye still wide, with the tears now only bundled up into his eyes, drying more and more with each passing moment that lingers between them, while Yo’s panicked voice fills the silence that the early december morning brings them.
“You… aren’t breaking up wi-th me?” curse his stupid voice crack from his dry and hoarse throat, it made him look even less like a loser in front of Yo??? Hiori??? His boyfriend??? His fiance??? His ex??? Whatever Rin had agreed for them to be.
“God no!” Yo practically screeched, making them jolt in surprise, “Rin, why would I ever break up with ya’? I’ve been planning to ask ya’ ta marry me fer like 1- 2 years? Something like that… Goodness, Rin-Kun, I can’t even imagine who I’d be without yer beautiful, scowling face every mornin’...”
“But you- but…” He didn’t even know what to say, but he was extremely embarrassed regardless, especially with how badly he misread the situation and how much he embarrassed himself in front of the angel of his dreams he doesn’t even know how he pulled.
“Darlin’, why on earth would ya’ think I’d break up with ya’?” His voice was unbelievably softer now, extremely so, almost fluffy, like a cushion waiting at the end of an extremely long fall.
“Well you just.. You’ve been cold and distant, you didn’t even look like you wanted to be near anymore and by the time you even stay near me for a long enough time, we’re asleep and I can’t even enjoy my time with you” It was also wrong in the way Rin couldn’t stop rambling tonight, no matter how hard he tried being coherent and wrong in the way Yo just paused and let out a shaky exhale that was so extremely out of character for him.
Eventually, that shaky exhale turned into a small giggle and then melodically tuned itself into a cracked laugh-cry situation that further embarrassed Rin to no end.
“I- HAHAHA, Rin I just- I can’t believe ya’ thought I would ever fall out of love with ya’!” He paused to try and catch his breath, to no avail cause he couldn’t stop the laughter, “Darlin’ I’m sorry okay.. Sorry for laughing at ya for being scared and sorry for being distant it’s just… I had the ring for about like a year or two now I’ve been carrying it around waitin’ for the perfect time to ask ya’ but there was never a time and lately everyone’s been yellin’ at me to just ask ya’ since they think ya’ll never find anyone better apparently and Tabito ‘nd Eita’ve been buggin’ me ‘bout it since they saw the ring a few weeks ago and the risk of ya noticing the ring was so great I just panicked the entire time and just avoided holdin ya’ fer too long I’m sorry”
He felt quite silly after hearing that, the layers of speculation, misconceptions and overthinking crumbling once again, wall by wall, like they couldn’t say no to Yo even when he’s met people colder, sharper, less kinder than Yo could ever be to him, and yet all his defences yielded for him.
“Ya can check the group chat too. The one from NEL.” Yo perked up again, “That’s where they were messagin’. They were so fully convinced that ya would never check the groupchat so there was no need to make a whole ‘nother GC for naggin’ at me like a buncha worry wats”
Rin wants nothing more than to shrivel up and disappear in a hole, because now if a single word of this gets out he is never. Ever. hearing the end of it from his demon insect cockroach of a brother in law and even worse, his nii-chan.
“Oh god I swear Yo,” I started, still shaking in embarrassment rather than sadness or rage, “If you tell anyone I’m gonna rip out your heart and stab it right in front of you,” but despite his harsh words, he leaned into his lover comfortably, silently enjoying the company and finally some skinship that isn’t a fleeting touch. Yo, in turn, understood what that meant very clearly, ‘just stay with me until the end, away from the noise in our own static and we can just be’
“Since ya’ obviously didn’t hear my speech, lemme say it again for ya, ‘kay?” A short, curt nod followed from the younger man.
“Okay, well. Rin, I understand that we’ve known each other for a while now, but, I don’t think I can keep being just boyfriends anymore. Ya have this way of makin’ everything feel real without it hurtin’ and I don’t think I’ll ever find someone like ya. Ya’ve made me so happy over the last few years but I’m also really selfish. I understand that we’ll never go back to how we were after this, but would ya, Rin Itoshi, my extreme undoing, the one stupidly obsessed with owls and cyan ice cream and ocean breezes in mid-winter where the waves crash against the rocks in a dazzling fury, will ya marry me?”
The speech honestly had him speechless, the fact he’d remembered that he loved the waves at this time of the year and that he still loved the stupidly good cyan icecream he and Sae used to share, but also that he really took the time to remember this, memorise it, as if Rin was worth it. As if Rin was worth him.
“Hey, Yo?” Rin began, his voice still shaky and rasp which is just so wrong, “I’ll do it. I’ll marry you and I’ll make sure you’ll never have to look back on our day and that it was anything besides perfect and exactly what you’ve always dreamed to have.”
That just about did it for him, since that got his tears racing downwards without any rest as if it was a sprint to win an award.
“Ah- Rin yer so..” He let out a quick hiccup that he tried to hide, “Yer so horrible.. Fer making me cry”
“You- You started it first! On purpose too, I bet! Yer speech sounded like a lukewarm break up text message!” He scoffed, any trace of the previous warmth melting into feigned annoyance.
A beat.
“Come again?”
“I bet your speech sounded like lukewarm a break up message on purpose because yer just such a sadistic twa-”
“There! Ya did it again!” Yo giggled, while Rin deadpanned an unammused face at his fiance.
“Did what?”
“Ya said ‘yer’ not ‘your’! Yer picking up on my accent Darlin’” He looked so damn smug about it too, while his fiance looked absolutely mortified.
“No I- I didn’t you’re imagining things!” He stammered, moving his face away and hiding it from Yo’s very keen vision, making sure to emphasise the ‘you’re’.
“Rin, Honey, I wasn’t born in the last shower, I heard ya say it. Twice. Twice? Twice mention,” There he went again in his own special way of speaking as if he’s texting, “But no, darlin’, ya really did say ‘yer’.”
“I didn’t! Yo yer imagining things!” He yelped, suddenly feeling his favourite toned arms snaking around him.
“Now that’s 2, babe. Lie again and ya have to kiss me.” He laughed, moving closer into Rin.
“I… I didn’t pick up on your accent..” the tone in his voice softened, wanting, aching for the feeling of Yo’s lips on him, and below him, the older one laughed, clearly understanding what Rin’s been thirsty for.
“That makes 3 which means some~body~ owes me a ki~ss~”
“At least let me get up first”
A beat.
“Oh you sly little-”
“Shhh.. That’s not any way to talk to the love of yer life is it, Rin?” The way he said ‘Rin’ sounded like poison, like addictive poison, like poison that Rin’s so attached to he’d let it run in his veins and arteries as if it’s his own blood.
“The love of my life loves it” he huffed, refusing to acknowledge the very quickly closing distance between the two of them.
“Yeah,” His voice was warming, softer, more vulnerable than in the past few weeks, “He does.”
…
“We should give Ryukun a speech at the wedding”
“I’m breaking up with you.”
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And Cut.