Chapter Text
Everything hurt like hell, but despite the agony and the pain inside his abdomen, something in front of him mattered more than everything.
"I am... Going to... Save you" Subaru said, below a whisper but with a voice that carried every will and determination
Then in an instant, everything faded to black.
...
He couldn't breathe. He couldn't touch. He couldn't walk. He couldn't feel.
He felt empty, a hollow, a void.
He was nothing, it reminded him back in Japan. A waste of flesh. A Failure.
He began to wander through the shadows, even aimlessly. That's all he is and was right now.
Suddenly, He felt a barrage of emotions. Bashed in his skull. Overwhelming and tumultuous. Like they taught a vessel how to feel for the first time.
But alone those negative and positive emotions. He felt something with more intensity, more familiarity.
He felt safe. He belonged here. It feels just like home.
Something began to embrace him, like a mother's hug.
"I will leave everything in your hands. My beloved." She whispered into his ear gently, full of love.
"I love you."
Subaru felt every ounce of love from her, and he accepted it gratefully.
She placed a light kiss on his cheek, where it would be if he weren't a floating soul.
Then she left, as if there wasn't anyone there to begin with.
Subaru felt a jolt in his soul; he felt his consciousness return in that place.
He could think, process, and move on his own will.
But with all that, he couldn't process what she did to him.
Subaru wanted to shout so many questions at all "What's your name? What are you? What am I doing here?" But none came out. He didn't have a mouth or a body. He tried to follow her, but she was long gone in those floating shadows.
In the distance. He saw a light, A spark.
He began to move closer and closer.
He saw himself in that bubble of light. He began to touch it.
Then, He began to wake up.
Light pierced his eyes. The sun was acting like his worst enemy; it burned, it was agonizing, like he was seeing the light after a long, long time.
He tried to close it, but his body was unresponsive.
Fragments of memories flooded back. The cold finality of death, the surreal experiences in the shadowy realm; images and sensations that felt both real and surreal.
But more than anything, he remembered her. Her ethereal silver hair glimmered like stardust, her exquisite presence that made the world seem bright. In a realm devoid of her, everything appeared colorless. And her voice, oh, her voice, it chimed like delicate silver bells that resonated in his heart. Satella.
"Are you going to buy this appa or not?" A familiar merchant asks aggressively
"Hah?" Subaru didn't understand. His ears were ringing and his throat was parched, feeling as though he hadn't drunk water in years.
"The appa! You came here, asked for appas, then suddenly spaced out. So do you want it or not!?" Kadoman's patience was running thin
"I told you I am completely broke" Subaru says with confusion.
"Then get the hell out of here!" Kadoman snaps, irritation dripping from his voice
"I am back?" Subaru muttered
He glanced down at his tracksuit and abdomen
"The wound is gone"
He opened his plastic bag
"Everything is here like nothing ever happened"
He checked his phone
"Even the time is rewound..."
'Am I crazy?' Doubts were creeping in everywhere in his body, but he thought about it, and everything fit into place: Death, the shadowy place, and now here he was
He was sent back through time, but he wasn't sure. He couldn't trust the isekai shenanigans, not yet, at least.
"Oh right! Satella! What happened to her??" Panic filled his body; even if he was sent back through time, he couldn't be sure, and he wasn't ready to give in to the hands of "perhaps"
He began to run to the loothouse desperately. He needed to be sure. He needed to be sure that she was fine.
"Oi, idiot, what's with that look on your face?"
"If you don't wanna get hurt, cough up everything you've got!"
But he had to be interrupted by the 3 NPCs in the alleyway.
Let's just say ChinChin and his friends got the beat the shit out of because the author didn't feel like writing about it.
"I'm in a hurry. So don't get in my way!" Subaru shouted and continued his run towards the loothouse
After what felt like an eternity. He reached the loot house. He was very early; it was still noon.
His heart is beating like a constant drum against his ribs.
He needed to make sure she was okay.
He wanted to knock on the door like an idiot.
Before his hands made contact with the door, he quickly stopped himself and began to think.
"I was sent back through time, right?" He remembered his time in the shadow garden.
"The isekai gods granted their blessings on me, He grins, but quickly it falters. He hated the painful feeling of death.
"I call this supposed power Return By Death" The phrase sent a shiver down Subaru's spine.
"I think I can set a checkpoint right?" Subaru theorizes that his non-existent brain cells decided to work
"A little try doesn't hurt, right?" Subaru says this while trying to stay composed and confident
"Set checkpoint" Subaru whispers
At first, nothing happened. Subaru felt so foolish.
But then, time stopped.
The wind ceased its movement, and the air thickened with shadow.
He couldn't breathe or move.
He was filled with overwhelming panic; he would've shivered to death if he hadn't been frozen
But out of nowhere, he felt something hugging him from behind. Wrapping around him from behind.
"???" His mind blanked
He felt her silver hair on his shoulders and her pale, soft hands on his chest.
"I love you" Satella whispered into his ear with love and possessiveness. Warmth rushed in his chest. A new flower bloomed from the darkness in his chest
Then suddenly
Everything worked like a clock again, every mechanism moving. The wind washed all the silence away. The birds continued their songs. But despite everything, the return to normalcy, Subaru remained glued to the ground
'Was that.. Satella?' Subaru questioned himself and his sanity. Unsure if it was the same girl who was a celestial angel, whose innocence poured everywhere she walked, or if it was a new entity. Perhaps the weirdest part to him was that he was feeling safe in her embrace...Perhaps love.
'Now it isn't the time for questions. I should hurry, for all I know, my power can send me back through time after I...Die, and I can set the checkpoints'
He took a deep breath 'Come on now, Subaru. You came here now, have some cool ability, you can't just leave without answers right now, can you?' He pushed some of his fear down and started knocking
"Hello? Is anyone there?"
A deep voice from the other side of the door appeared
"For a rat.."
Subaru is clearly confused and doesn't know what to say
"...Huh?"
The mantra continued
"For a white whale.."
"...I don't know" Subaru says with uncertainty evident in his voice
The voice didn't care
"To the noble dragon lord, we are..."
"I seriously don't know! Can you just open the door!?" Subaru shouted
The door opened with a menacing screech, and a shadow was getting closer
"You expect me to open the door without knowing the signal and the password!?" A giant stepped out and looked Subaru in the face with curiosity
Subaru shivered at the sight of the giant and quickly took a step back, but quickly found out who he was.
He was just another corpse in the loothouse.