Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Propagate Gold is a fertility clinic. We’ll find a perfect match to give you children whether you’re an alpha, beta or omega. We do careful tests on your own fertility. No harm done. Trust our candidate that have been tested to be your propagate partner. 

Call XXX-PRO-GOLD
Email: [email protected] 

Wan looked up at her girlfriend. “Why are you showing me this?”

“It might be useful.” Manmuk grabbed her phone back. Her hair fell on her shoulders like the way air would come in and out through the screen of the window. The sound of cars passing by from below were faint but there on the fifth floor of the apartment building. That was all her girlfriend had to say.

Wan crossed her arms against her chest and fell back into her chair. “What are you saying?”

Manmuk shrugged, eyes glued onto her screen. “What do you think I’m suggesting?”

“Manmuk.”

“We could use it.” Manmuk cut off her thoughts. Wan sighed. It was always about this: making a baby. From being in love to when they would be able to raise a child together, skipping the whole process of mating.

Manmuk set her phone down and looked at her. “You could use it.” 

“We don’t know if it’s you or me who has fertility issues.” 

Manmuk shook her head. Her eyebrow raised while staring at her, like she knew it was her— as if she expected Wan to blame herself. Wan stood up and nodded. “I’m always the problem, huh?” 

“Wan.” Manmuk reached over to hold her hand. Wan flinched away. Her chair scraped against the floor to be further away. It doesn’t stop Manmuk; she grabbed her wrist and leaned over. “Prove it to me. Prove it’s not your fault by signing up.”

“With what money, Manmuk?”

“You know I have money.”

Wan pulled her wrist away and stood up. “I always do whatever you want.”

Manmuk grabbed her hand again and turned her around. “I love you, Wan.” Manmuk interlocked their fingers together. Wan doesn’t feel warm with her around anymore. “I’m doing this for us. Our future.”

She pressed a kiss on her lips. Soft yet not gentle. There’s a promise Wan had to keep with the touch, and she couldn’t say no. She doesn’t kiss back. She doesn’t close her eyes. Staring at the way Manmuk’s gently close, wishing the butterflies resurrect once again. She wanted to fall in love once again.

Her girlfriend pulled away with a soft smile. Her eyes twinkled like the first time they said I love you to each other. Wan swallowed, trying to fill up the emptiness. She couldn’t fall in love with this Manmuk, could she?

“I’ll come sleep with you after I finish work,” Manmuk said. Wan nodded. She turned around again, letting the fingers wrapped around her wrist go. 

“Your fertility is low.” The doctor showed her papers of her results. “However, there is a time period each month you have the highest chance of conceiving.”

Wan licked her lips. Manmuk was right. She hated how her girlfriend was right in this. She wanted to prove it wasn’t her fault, yet here she was. She leaned into her chair, absentmindedly listening to the doctor explain what the results mean. It didn’t matter. She knew she wasn’t fertile as she should be.

So much of an omega she was.

She looked up when the doctor stared at her. “Miss Thantara, it’s not uncommon for people to be less fertile or infertile.” They stacked up the papers with a smile. “If it were, a place like this wouldn’t exist. You’re no less of an omega or person because of this.”

Wan nodded. The words didn’t bring comfort knowing at home, Manmuk would tell her something different. Manmuk would ask her why couldn’t she be a normal omega. She should be able to conceive so she could be her mate for a lifetime. The words already gnawed at her brain in scenarios that haven’t happened.

“We have an alpha that matched your results. She’s very fertile. Your preference is women, correct?”

Wan nodded.

“Every client she had has gotten successful pregnancies.”

“How many clients?”

“5.”

Wan nodded again. That was a small number, but it was a number bigger than hers: zero.

“Would you like to meet her today?” The doctor stood up. “If not, we can schedule you for another appointment to meet her. If you wish to continue this program.”

Wan looked around the vastly different setting than before. Instead of white walls, bright white lights and white tiles that would point even the smallest drop of blood there was warm lights, plush carpet and cream colored wallpapers.

“Welcome to the heart of Propagate Gold, Miss Thantara.”

They stood in the lobby. A front desk that resembled an office. Books behind her with biology of alphas, betas and omegas. A woman smiling at her with a welcome.

The doctor pointed at the three sections the lobby broke off to. “We’ll be going to the alpha section. Don’t be scared of the guards.” The doctor started walking toward the archway. “Sometimes clients are in heat, naturally releasing pheromones trying to get to their partner.” 

Wan looked around the white doors carved with designs she couldn’t really capture. Walking pass by the rooms in silence. The carpet beneath her heels soften the sound of anything.

“Alphas can be uncontrollable with the scent of an omega in heat. As you know.”

They stopped by the last door of the hallway. Wan bit her bottom lip. The guards at the end of the hallway glanced at her. Her stomach churned. She didn’t want to do this.

She didn’t want to sleep with someone else beside Manmuk.

The doctor knocked on the door. A small voice from the other side let them in.

The room was bigger than Wan thought. A door to the bathroom that took up a quarter of the room was in front of the bed. There must be a bathtub in it. A kitchenette spotted further into the room. She settled her gaze on the bed: a petite woman laying on her bed shoved in a book. Her glasses rested on her face.

Wan stared.

“Maewnam,” the doctor called out. The brown haired girl looked up from her book. A smile quickly drawn on her lips.

“Hi, doc! Is she my next client?” Maewnam jumped off the bed. She held her hands behind her back, striding in tiny steps Wan found endearingly cute. A small smile already formed on her lips without her knowledge. Her reflection against the glass of Maewnam’s specs almost made her heart jump out of her chest. She quickly rested her lips back to place.

Maewnam stared up at her. Her lips slightly parted. Wan wanted to look behind her to see if the moon was held because Maewnam’s eyes were starry in the way she explored Wan’s features. She looked away instead. The pounding in her chest quieted down, but it continued to knock. The reminder that Maewnam’s eyes laid on hers, and Wan wanted to look back— she wanted to explore Maewnam too.

“Maewnam.” The doctor pointed to Wan. “This is Miss Thantara. The contract you have has all the details you two will need.” They headed toward the door. “If either of you need anything, Maewnam you know what to do.” 

Maewnam nodded and waved. Wan bid the doctor a goodbye. 

“Hi!” Maewnam grinned. She pressed her lips together as if to contain some kind of excitement. Wan didn’t understand what was so exciting in their first meeting. Then, she thought about it again: was it the sex that was inevitably going to come if she really agreed to this?

Maewnam sat down on the couch at the end of the bed. A dark brown coffee table with papers stapled on top. The contract. 

Wan sat next to her. 

“I’m Maewnam.” Maewnam held her hand out. Wan took it, shook it, and wished she could hold it. The small of her hands perfectly fit in her palm. Wan felt warm. For once in a long time, she felt welcomed.

“Wan.” 

Maewnam smiled, teeth and all. The curves of her cheeks peaked like the clouds at the end of a rainbow—like clouds spreading to show the sun. Wan’s fingers fell off the warmth, suddenly weakened by the vibrations in her heart at the woman in front of her.

“Khun Wan, I hope you’re not disappointed with me as an alpha.” Maewnam pushed the contract over to her side. She pushed her lips to one side, a bubble formed from her cheeks.

“N-no...I didn’t have any expectations.” Wan shook her head as she spoke.

“Really?” Maewnam’s eyes squinted. Wan chuckled at the scrutiny. “Don’t lie to me, Khun Wan. We’re barely starting.”

“I’m not.”

Maewnam smiled and placed her hands on the table. Fumbling her thumbs together, Wan tried her best to ignore it as she read the contract.

“I hope I can exceed other expectations.” 

Wan stopped reading. The heat rushed on her neck. She doesn’t look up even if she wanted to: to see Maewnam’s face when she says such things. Wan cleared her throat and continued to read. The same sentence read by her eyes twice before it finally processed in her head.

Our candidate, Maewnam Sudteerak Taweesapsukul, has no responsibility of the child you two conceived.

You have the right to see your Propagate Gold partner as long as this contract has not been terminated. With the exception of if the candidate does not want to see you confirmed by the company.

Wan looked up at Maewnam staring at her. Sudteerak. She continued reading. “Khun Wan, you’re the first person I’ve seen actually reading the contract.” 

“Is that bad?”

“No.” Maewnam shook her head. “It’s attractive.”

“Maewnam.” Wan stopped reading. The heat rushed to her cheeks instead of spreading at the core of her neck. Her throat warm and dry. She swallowed away the known feelings of falling.

Wan had a girlfriend.

Maewnam giggled. “I read some of the information. Your girlfriend is fine with you doing this?” 

Wan nodded. She signed the last page with the date. “She suggested it.”

“Why? I wouldn’t want to share you.”

Wan raised an eyebrow. Maewnam smiled, meek and shy compared to her grin when she flirted so easily. She opened her mouth, but no words came out.

“I mean...” Maewnam cleared her throat. “You’re beautiful, Khun Wan. I’d be scared of someone falling for you.”

“Are you?”

Maewnam looked away. “Ah...”

Wan smiled. “Can I get a copy of this contract?”

“Sure! I’ll ask P‘Tik later. The next appointment, I’ll give it to you.”

“Thank you, Maewnam.”

Wan stood up to go back home. Everything was done here it seemed. Maewnam stood up as well.

“Is your girlfriend an alpha, Khun Wan?”

Wan nodded.

“She hasn’t...mated with you yet?”

Wan shrugged and stood by the door. “No.”

Maewnam nodded before grinning. She gave Wan a business card. “The phone number on this card is just for me. You won’t have to be on hold when you call.”

Wan accepted it. Maewnam waved at her. “I’ll see you soon?”

Soon. Wan will have to see her soon after signing the contract.

Manmuk sat on their bed, scrolling through her phone. Wan threw the results from the clinic on the bed. “You were right.”

Manmuk set her phone down and grabbed the papers. “What do any of this mean?”

“I’m what you said I was.”

“I was right.” Manmuk set the papers on the nightstand table. Wan nodded. She took off her socks, throwing them into the basket of dirty laundry. The buttons of her shirt pressed into her pads as she slowly undressed.

Manmuk was in front of her in a blink. She stopped unbuttoning. “Manmuk?”

“Let me help you.” Manmuk’s voice was gentle. The words linger in the air, caught in the heat of what they always do best in this relationship of theirs. Wan could smell it, feel it: peppermint. The hairs on the back of her neck raised. The cool sensation rubbed on her skin; her whole back shivered.

Her hands fell on Manmuk’s waist. Her grip tightened. Manmuk’s hands slipped into her pants. Just the finger tips brush over her the cloth covering a place her girlfriend knew all too well. 

“Let me try once again,” Manmuk whispered. Her eyes warm. Wan closed her eyes and leaned into the kiss, wanting to fill herself up with the sweetness of Manmuk. Letting the little burn of mint roll down her tongue, Wan pulled her closer.

Like a habit, they tangle into each other. Wan’s shirt off her skin and on the ground instead. Manmuk’s mouth placed on her neck, tasting the droplets of sweat that she knew has her pheromones against it. A moan escaped the alpha, pressing closer to Wan.

“You taste so good,” Manmuk’s common phrase. She left a mark on Wan’s collarbone. The ache at the back of her neck louder than Wan wanted to—wondering when will it be bitten to confirm the stability of Wan and Manmuk’s future.

Manmuk cupped her face and kissed her feverishly—as if the dinner Manmuk had without her was nonexistent. Wan answered the call. She let herself be the last meal of her day.

It was always like this anyway. 

Chapter Text

Wan held her appointment card in her hands. A hallway of alphas she had to go through without assistance even if she knew where Maewnam’s door was. Crushing the piece of paper in the palm of her hand, she took a deep breath and greeted the guards before walking in the section.

The little lamps on the walls lit her way through the dark corridor. She never realized how bare it was until she really looked around. Her heart slowed down from how fast it was beating after reading the word “Alpha”. 

There were cameras every two doors. One guard at each door that nodded their head at her. She swallowed.

How would Manmuk do if it were her applying for this instead? Omegas weren’t as scary.

She stood in front of the last door. She rang the doorbell. The door opened a few seconds later with a short woman with a usual bright grin. “Khun Wan! You made it.”

She grabbed Wan’s hand and pulled her in. The door closed and locked. The click echoed in Wan’s chest. Her heart beat palpitated once again.

“I’m glad you aren’t pregnant.” Maewnam held her hands behind her back. She tipped herself back and forth. She bit her lip from the smile that was growing on her face. Wan noticed her cheekbones forming underneath her eye with a blush she had been dreaming about.

“What do you mean by that?” 

“Well...” Maewnam looked away. She licked her lips. “If you were pregnant, I wouldn’t see you again.”

Wan smiled, bashful. She tried not to. She really did. Maewnam was cute though. 

Maewnam tilted her head, sniffing. “You smell like peppermint.” Maewnam furrow her eyebrow. “It’s an alpha scent.”

Wan sniffed herself. She lifted her arm, pressing her hand and wrist to her nose. Coldness ran down her back. The scent far too familiar. It tingled the back of her neck as it always did. She cleared her throat, trying to think of a lie—an excuse on why she had an alpha being protective over.

Maewnam entered her space. Her forehead almost brush against her nose as she tilted her head up. The cold of peppermint disappeared, replaced by jasmine and orange that warmed up her body. The cold tinge at the back of her neck burned with a fire that pulled her closer to the cause.

A small hand rested against her nape. A thumb stroked her throat, warming it up to the newfound scent. Maewnam held her chin to make her look down at her. Her eyes dark yet gentle. Wan wasn’t scared.

“Are you sure your girlfriend is okay with this, Khun Wan?” Maewnam’s breath began to get heavier. The scent of jasmine and oranges filled up the room. Wan wondered if the guards outside could smell it. Or if they were betas, unable to relish in such warmth.

Wan’s head spun. The burn at the back of her neck was only getting hotter. She wanted to have this conversation later. The tingle reached her lips. She stared at Maewnam’s.

“Maewnam.”

“Yes, Khun Wan?”

Wan grabbed her shoulders. Maewnam’s body responded so easily as she leaned into the touch. She dived down and kissed the alpha. 

The hold on her neck tightened. The other side warm with Maewnam’s touch as she pulled her in closer. Wan pulled away for a millisecond to breathe. A sliver of breath filled up with a warm floral scent chased by sweet citrus. She moaned in Maewnam’s mouth when Maewnam kissed her first.

They stumbled into the middle of the room. It doesn’t take many steps. Wan fell first. The mattress softer than she remembered. She could live here instead of Manmuk’s apartment.

Maewnam dragged her lips down her chin. Wan threw her head back, sighing at how soft Maewnam’s everything was. From her body in between her legs to the pull of her fingers that fell on her shoulders, Maewnam doesn’t rush. Her lips press against her neck. A kiss here and there, a breath in between each as if she were savoring the taste of her pheromones on Wan’s skin.

She licked her collarbone. Wan sucked in a breath. Her hands grappled on her shoulders, afraid of how uncontrollable her body felt in the moment.

“Khun Wan,” Maewnam’s voice sultry. She looked up while her hand lowered. A small rub against her breast. “You smell good.”

Wan twitched underneath her touch. Maewnam licked her way lower. The v neck of her shirt being too helpful to the woman above her. She pulled it down and pressed a kiss on both of her breast, looking up at her with a glint in her eyes.

She rose up to press a kiss on Wan’s lips. “Coconut and rum,” Maewnam whispered. She licked her lips and kissed her again. Short kisses. It was just enough to make her want more yet be satisfied with how soft Maewnam felt.

“Can I?” Maewnam pulled on her shirt. Wan lifted herself up and nodded. Maewnam took off her shirt and stared. Her eyes wide and blown. Wan looked away at the scrutiny.

Maewnam pulled down the cups of her bra. Her breast popped out into the cold air. A hand wrapped around one while the other was filled with tender kisses. Maewnam licked her nipple, sucking it as she pinched the other. Wan closed her eyes tightly at the overwhelming flow inside of her body. The low of her belly aching.

“Is this okay?” Maewnam asked a little too late as she flicked her other nipple with her tongue. She sucked it once again, shoving her face deeper into her breast as the breath through her nose blew on her skin. She bit it. Wan whimpered, arching her back in a jump.

Maewnam pulled off her shirt too. Wan licked the inside of her cheek, holding the drool up from releasing out of the corner of her lips. Swallowing away what would humiliate her, she stared at the lines of Maewnam’s abs.

“Are you comfortable?” Maewnam spread her legs wider as she pressed herself against Wan’s core. Wan gasped. She could feel it. The way it twitched when Maewnam grind on her in slow waves.

Wan nodded.

Maewnam lifted up her skirt. It bundled up on her waist so Maewnam could still grope her breast, making sure her nipple was in between her fingers to tease. Wan was growing breathless. The heat on the back of her neck was going to make her pass out.

She released more of her scent on accident, no longer able to wait for Maewnam to be inside of her. She covered her mouth. Maewnam smiled. “I’m getting there. Don’t worry.”

Maewnam took off her underwear. Wan closed her legs at the cold air hitting her. She hasn’t had sex with another person other than Manmuk in so long.

“I’ll be gentle, Khun Wan.” Maewnam spread her legs open once again. She took off her shorts and boxers. Her cock already stood in the air, curved up with a red tip. Maewnam stroked it, letting the palm of her head rub against her head a couple of times. It moistens with her cum.

Wan flinched. Her hips slightly buck at the sight. She continued to cover her mouth and gripped onto the sheet. Maewnam leaned down and rubbed her clit with her thumb. She kissed Wan’s chest. She reached over and kissed her cheek. “You’re beautiful, Khun Wan. Don’t hide away from me.”

Wan stopped covering her mouth. Maewnam took the opportunity to kiss her. Her thumb rubbed faster. Wan moaned into her mouth, letting the tongue be shoved inside.

“You’re already so wet.” Maewnam kissed her neck. She stopped rubbing. Wan begged in incoherent whispers. “Just like me.”

Maewnam stood on her knees. She looked back up at Wan. Wan nodded, biting her lip. Maewnam slipped it in, letting her thumb guide her cock to fill up Wan.

“Tell me if it hurts.” Maewnam was all the way in. Wan grabbed Maewnam’s hand and kissed it. She gripped onto Maewnam’s hand like a life line. Taking a deep breath, she feels Maewnam cock curl inside of her.

Maewnam moved slowly. In and out of her, the sounds lewd and almost inaudible. Wan heard it. She heard it, and she was almost ready to come. Her fingers interlaced with Maewnam’s in a messy lock. She doesn’t pay attention while her walls wrap around Maewnam.

Her knees raised up close to her chest as Maewnam thrusted a little faster, a little harder, and a little closer. “Am I going at the right pace, Khun Wan?”

Wan moaned. She bit onto Maewnam’s hand. Maewnam stuck two fingers out. Wan sucked them, rolling her eyes at how her fingers run against her tongue. She threw her head back, her tongue stuck out as Maewnam fingered her mouth. She screamed out, throaty and low as Maewnam pumped herself faster.

“Like this?” Maewnam held one of her knees as she continued. Wan nodded. She gripped Maewnam’s wrist instead. Her knuckles white. “Am I doing good, Khun Wan?”

“Yes!” Wan gasped. She let herself be fucked. The tightness of her core and thigh increased in that moment. “Maewnam!” Then, everything released.

Maewnam nodded. She continued. Her own whimpers kept in her throat. She held onto both of Wan’s legs as she raised herself up to fuck her deeper. Wan held in her breath. She might just come again.

Maewnam fell onto her. Her hands hugged Wan’s shoulder as she shook. “Khun Wan...” Maewnam whimpered as she continued to thrust.

Maewnam groaned, releasing all of her sperm inside of Wan. The strings of her warmth filled up deep inside of Wan. She hugged Maewnam tightly, letting it all finish.

Wan stared up at the wall. Her heart started to slow down. She breathed in the air filled with their pheromones. Maewnam lifted herself up to meet her eyes.

Wan let herself drown in round, warm eyes. Nothing sharp. Everything was gentle and curved about Maewnam. The scent of jasmine and oranges lingered at the tip of her nose. She was so warm. Why did this place feel like home more than with her girlfriend?

Wan cried.

“I’m sorry.” Maewnam wiped her tears. Her eyes wide and panicked. She lifted herself up. Wan held her wrist and pulled her back down.

“You did good.” Wan breathed.

Maewnam blinked and cleared her throat. “Can you repeat that, Khun Wan?”

“You did good, Maewnam.” Wan smiled. Maewnam smiled and kissed her forehead. Wan tilted her chin to kiss Maewnam’s chin. An instinct. A growing habit. Wan didn’t know where it came from.

Maewnam rolled over and lay next to her. They lay there, an inch apart. They stared at the white ceiling as the room grew louder. The scent slowly disappearing to smell. The sound of Wan’s heart no longer pounded her ears. The mattress was soft once again since Maewnam longer was on top of her.

“Do you want anything?” Maewnam asked. 

Wan shook her head. She glanced at the other woman. “Do you?”

Maewnam lay on her side to face her. “I do. Can you give it to me though?”

“What is it?”

“I want to cuddle with you.” Wan blinked. Maewnam pouted. “So…your girlfriend really isn’t fine with this.”

Wan rolled her eyes. Of course they were coming back to this topic. “I told you she was the one who wanted me here.”

Maewnam nodded and pursed her lips. She scooted closer and lay herself on Wan’s chest. Wan doesn’t push her away. Instead, she wrapped one arm around her.

“Do you want to be here?”

Wan licked her lips, reminded of Maewnam’s soft ones.

“Does it matter?”

Maewnam doesn’t answer. Wan doesn’t try to pry one out of her.

“I hope to see again, Khun Wan.” Maewnam hugged her tighter. Wan closed her eyes. A smile creeped on her face. She won’t say it back. She couldn’t say it back knowing Manmuk was at home sleeping alone. Tomorrow was back to normal. What if she could just stay in this moment forever instead? 

Chapter Text

Wan took off her shoes to the scent of peppermint filling up the apartment. The lights were off everywhere. There was not even a glow of light in the hallway. She dropped her purse on the couch and followed where the smell lead her.

“Manmuk?” Wan pushed the door to their room. The radiance from the moon covered the bed, shining on Manmuk’s body. Her shirt half risen as she straddled Wan’s pillow. Her low, deep breaths flared the back of Wan’s neck. She moved her hips, thrusting into the pillow with Wan’s scent laced into the silk.

She turned around. Wan swallowed the peppermint. The scent unbearable as it stung deep into Wan’s nose, burning the back of her neck with such cold. She shivered.

Manmuk stood up, throwing her phone on the bed. “Wan...” Manmuk pulled on her wrist before slamming her onto the door. It shut with a thud, cracking inside of Wan’s ears. “Wan, fuck, I need you.”

Wan pushed her away, shutting her eyes. She used all her strength to not cave in to her instincts: to lay herself down and let Manmuk do her thing. “I can’t.”

“Why?” Manmuk growled. Her arms wrapped around her waist as she hugged her back. She grind her growing boner into Wan’s ass. “It hurts so much without you.”

Wan punched out the pills from the foil. She turned around and placed it against Manmuk’s lips. “The doctor said to not have sex with anyone else until I’m pregnant. It’s so their results are clean.”

“You’re making that up.” Manmuk slapped the pill away. Her hand wrapped around Wan’s wrist, pulling her into her space. Wan sucked in a breath, letting a nostalgic sweetness hit her throat. She closed her eyes, trying not to remember how she used to find comfort in this scent. 

Manmuk kissed her. Hard. Deep. Trying to push her tongue inside, Manmuk pulled her closer.

“Mook,” Wan gasped, trying to breathe from the suffocation. Manmuk stopped. Her hold loosened. Wan looked up to meet her eyes: round and soft. There’s a layer of sadness Wan refused to acknowledge.

Manmuk’s breath was shaky. Wan swallowed seeing her own reflection in Manmuk’s eyes with the help of the moonlight through their curtains. Manmuk pulled herself away, getting a new pill for herself. She swallowed. 

“You don’t call me that anymore.” Manmuk’s voice was soft. The scent diminished with the way her shoulders slouched. The guilt crawled in Wan’s chest, wrapping around every beat that knocked on her chest. She knew she hasn’t. She didn’t know when it stopped.

Wan walked away to shower.

Manmuk lay on the bed, waiting for her. She wasn’t on her phone. She wasn’t doing anything. Her eyes glued onto the door. Wan had to stop her tracks from how hard she was staring.

Her girlfriend pat the spot next to her. Wan’s spot always left for her. She sat down.

Manmuk rolled to her side and grabbed her hand. She rested her head on Wan’s lap and kissed her hand. Wan’s hand twitched to pull away. Her heartstrings pulled to be closer.

“I missed you when you were gone.” Manmuk looked up and pressed her lips against the back of her hand once again. Her fingers played with her fingers. They slipped up against her wrist. Wan’s pulse louder against her skin, her ears, and her chest. She grabbed Manmuk’s hand.

Maewnam’s voice in the back of her head: soft and gentle. Khun Wan.

Wan sunk into the bed. Manmuk hugged her and rested her head in the crook of her neck. Her chest heavy with weight Manmuk put onto her. The touch of Maewnam’s fingers against her chest ghost her skin.

She really did fall in love quickly.

“Wan.” Manmuk pressed a kiss on her neck. Wan pretend it was Maewnam just once. “You’re mine.”

It couldn’t possibly be Maewnam with her words.

Wan stared up at the ceiling. The peppermint lingered in the air. It found home in the pores of the walls and the crevices of the drawers. A reminder that Wan wasn’t in Maewnam’s room.

“Why did you leave your scent all over me when I went to my appointment?” Wan asked.

Manmuk lifted herself up, fixing Wan’s hair. “Because you’re mine, Wan.”

Wan closed her eyes. She didn’t want to hear those words again. She thanked the day for being almost over. She’ll have to hear it another day. She’ll have to admit to herself once again: she was unwillingly Manmuk’s by some force. It wasn’t love. It wasn’t home. A routine—like a rule she had set for herself. She wanted to break it.

Manmuk kissed her forehead then her lips. Another kiss on her lips. Manmuk smiled against her lips. “I love you, Wan.”

“Mmm.” Wan refused to look at how Manmuk reacted to her reply. “Me too.”

Wan stared the card Maewnam had given her. It had been a long week. She went to the office every day doing nothing that felt special. Noey always teased her finding out she liked Maewnam ever since she allowed the in-house lawyer look over her contract. Wan denied it. It couldn’t be true she has fallen for the alpha so soon.

“You fell for Manmuk at first sight. It’ll be so you if you fall for Maewnam the same way.” Noey laughed and drank her coffee. Wan glared at her and crossed her arms against her chest.

“Shut up about it. Is there anything I missed in the contract?” 

Noey nodded. She pointed to a footnote. “First note, it says child but they clarify children in the footnotes. Twins. Triplets. You know.” Noey turned the page. “Once you’re pregnant, the contract will end after six months even if you have a miscarriage or abortion.” 

Wan nodded. Noey smiled. Wan rolled her eyes.

“With you and Maewnam, will it be pass six months?” “Noey.”

Noey chuckled into her cup.

She looked over at the bed empty bed. Manmuk was in the living room working late again. She dialed the number. It rang and rang then someone picked it up.

“Hello, this is Maewnam’s line from Propagate Gold. How may I help you?”

“Hi...” Wan swallowed. “When is the soonest I can see Maewnam?”

“May I have your name?”

“Thantara Tanwanichakul.”

“Miss Thantara, the soonest you can see her is tomorrow at 2am. Would you like a different time?”

Wan looked at the time. That was four hours from now. She licked her lips. Manmuk didn’t need to know she planned this. Wan could lie.

“That time is perfect. Thank you.”

“Glad to help, Miss Thantara. She will be waiting for you until then. Goodbye. Have a nice night.”

“Thank you. Goodbye.”

Wan dropped her phone onto the table. The card hidden back into her wallet. She sighed. Her hand ran through her hair. The distant typing and clicking of Manmuk’s laptop echoed in her head. A sudden want, wishing it was the typing of the receptionist of Propagate Gold.

The picture frames of Manmuk and her throughout the years. From freshman year of college to their 28 year old selves, ten years have gone by. Wan doesn’t regret it.

“I’m sorry.” Wan could only say to the still images of a younger Manmuk—of the girl she promised to love.

Wan sucked in a breath at the familiar burn inside of her stomach. The cramp in her thighs come and go as she walked through the hallway. The overwhelming desire in her core grow with each step closer to the last door. Aching. Dripping. Her scent slips through the barrier she tried to hold.

Maewnam opened her door with one single ring. She grinned as per usual. “Hello, Khun Wan!” She closed the door. Wan’s legs failed to hold herself up. Coconut and rum filled up the corners of the room quicker than she liked. Her own scent made her stomach crawl: embarrassed.

Maewnam kneeled next to her. Her warm hands flared her skin with every touch. Fingertips pressed against her shoulder. Wan wanted them to press against the back of her neck, get rid of hell on her skin.

“Khun Wan, are you in heat?” Maewnam cupped her face. Wan looked away. Her own cheeks hot against the palm of Maewnam’s hands. Maewnam turned her to look at her. “Let’s go. It’s not comfortable on the ground.”

Maewnam lifted her arm around her shoulder. She stood up. Wan leaned into her before laying on the bed. She curled herself into the cotton sheets. The faint scent of jasmine and oranges remained. She hugged the pillow. The sheets underneath her were wrinkled and creased to match her movements.

Maewnam grabbed pills and a cup of water. Wan whimpered. She moved her hips against the pillow. The burn in her lower belly coiled and snaked around her pussy. “Maewnam,” Wan moaned.

Maewnam crushed the plastic cup in her hands. It cracked, leaking the contents inside. “S-sorry! Just a little longer.” She ran to get another cup.

Wan sat up and took off her shirt. “Maewnam, I want you.”

Maewnam swallowed. “What about your girlfriend?”

Wan took off her shorts. She slid her hand inside of her underwear. Her big hands poked through the red cotton. She rubbed. Wan threw her head back. It wasn’t enough. She slipped her fingers inside her wet hole. She fucked herself, almost tearing away the underwear from her hips.

The bed moved. Wan looked. A pretty, little face she dreamed of day and night right before her eyes. Maewnam held her wrist. “Are you sure, Khun Wan?” Her voice shaky. Her cheeks flushed and lips were dry from how heavy her breath was. 

Wan nodded. Her hands struggle to stop moving inside of her. Maewnam’s breath blew against her chin. Wan whimpered imagining how it would feel against her clit instead. Her arm pulled Maewnam’s head closer, wrapping around her neck. “Please, Maewnam,” Wan whispered, hoarse and low.

Maewnam took off her own clothes. Her shirt. No bra. Her shorts. Her boxers. Wan couldn’t watch while staying still. Her whole body covered in a scent she could puke in.

“I’m right here.” Maewnam pulled off the last parts to reveal Wan. She stared. Her eyes traveled from her knees to her chest, staring. Wan gripped on her shoulders to pull her closer. Maewnam’s eyes met hers in the heat of moment. Their lips finished the conversation, bringing water to the flames.

Maewnam sunk her hands underneath her shoulder blades, wrapping her fingers on her shoulders as she kissed harder. Wan choked into the kiss. Her heart clenched, grappling the last bits of breath her lungs could give. Maewnam kissed the corner of her lips to let her breathe before kissing her again.

Wan stuck her tongue inside, licking the roof of her mouth. Maewnam moved her hips. Wan followed. Her dick rubbed against her stomach, twitching when their tongues touch. Wan might combust. Her hands twitch to push down Maewnam down and do it her way. Her skin pink, red and blazing. She wanted the heat in her walls to calm, to be touched, to be filled up with all of Maewnam.

She released more of her pheromones. Maewnam moaned into her mouth.

She rolled off and hugged Wan from the back. Wan looked back. “Trust me, Khun Wan. I won’t make you wait much longer.”

Maewnam slipped herself inside of Wan. Wan rolled her eyes back, pushing her ass closer to the alpha. A hand against her hip while the other leads the penis inside of her. It slipped so easily. Maewnam cursed underneath her breath.

“Does it feel good?” Maewnam asked. She kissed her shoulder blade. Her hand groped Wan’s breast, pinching her nipple. She thrusted with no warning. The crap of their skin echoed. “Khun Wan, am I good?”

“Yes.” Wan gripped onto the pillow she lie on. Her body already locked up to release everything she has been holding. “You’re amazing, Maewnam.”

Maewnam bit onto her back. Her hand massaged her breast, a thumb rubbed against her nipple. She doesn’t stop her pace then she goes faster, moaning to Wan’s ears.

“Maewnam!” Wan threw her head back. She reached behind to grip onto Maewnam’s hair, pushing her closer as she let her walls tighten around Maewnam’s curve hitting the right spot. “I’m going to come.”

Maewnam nodded. She started going harder. Wan covered her mouth, screaming. She came. Her heart stopped beating as she covered Maewnam’s dick with her slick.

“You’re so good, Maewnam,” Wan let out in a breath. Maewnam bit onto her back again. She continued bucking her hips to ride her high.

“Tell me I’m good, Khun Wan. How good did I make you feel?” Maewnam whimpered as she held onto Wan’s breast. It squeezed in between her fingers. Her breaths short against her neck.

“You did amazing.” Wan’s fingers scratched Maewnam’s scalp, bringing her closer. “Be a good girl and come inside of me.”

Maewnam hugged her tightly and moaned. Warmth leaked inside of Wan. She shivered, closing her eyes. She settled into the mattress letting every last drop go inside of her.

“Good,” Wan whispered. Maewnam snuggled into her back and kissed every spot her lips could touch.

“Are you feeling better?” Maewnam asked.

“I am. Do you have a patch?”

“Of course.” Maewnam pulled herself out. She rolled off the bed and went to a drawer. Wan looked at her cute little butt and smiled.

Maewnam ripped it open for her. Wan sat up, moving her hair away. The cool, wet patch placed on top of the gland. Maewnam kissed her head. “All done, Khun Wan!”

“Thank you.” Wan cleared her throat and put the blanket over half of her body. Maewnam smiled, tilting her head like the sun tilting to show the world there is light. Wan bit her lip. She was going to blame Noey for putting the idea of falling for Maewnam into her head.

“Did you want to meet me because you were in heat?” Maewnam sat down next to her.

“No.”

Maewnam raised an eyebrow. Her smile never diminished.

“I got it while coming here.”

“Is that so?” Maewnam grabbed Wan’s hand and kissed it. Both of her hands held it while she rested her cheek at the back. “Did you miss me?”

“No.” Wan rolled her eyes, turning away. “Keep dreaming.”

Maewnam giggled and kissed her hand again. “if it means to see you, I will always keep dreaming.”

Wan cleared her throat. She pulled her hand away to fix her hair to hide the blush on her face. “Khun Wan.”

Wan turned to look at her.

Maewnam pecked her lips. “Next time, I’m going to eat you.”

“Maewnam!” Maewnam kissed her lips once again and pushed her down the bed, giggling into her mouth. Wan smiled and let the kiss go on a little longer.

“I missed you,” Maewnam said. Wan fixed her hair.

“I know.”

“Ow...” Maewnam pouted. “You won’t even say it back?”

“Who said I missed you too?”

Maewnam’s lips stuck out more to make her pout more noticeable. Wan leaned forward and kissed her. “I...” Wan smiled. “want to sleep.”

Maewnam lay on top of her. Her head against her chest. Wan doesn’t complain. She doesn’t dare say she liked the weight of Maewnam against her chest, deafening the beats of her heart. She swiped away every image of Manmuk inside of her head, replacing it with the woman in her arms. 

Chapter Text

On Saturday mornings, Wan would wake up to the sound of Manmuk making breakfast or talking to her phone. The glass of her makeup bottles clashing against each other as she grabbed them to show the camera. Bright white lights at the corner of the room and soft spoken voice was expected on her days off.

Wan could almost hear the faint sound of Manmuk’s voice: “Wan, I made breakfast. I always make breakfast, you know. You can never leave me now because of all my work for you.”

Her eyes remained closed. She doesn’t hear it. Instead, she noticed the sheets against her skin. The pillow soft, influenced with the scent of jasmine and orange and a laundry detergent of flowers and softness. Wan doesn’t recognize it. The blanket draped over her body wasn’t as soft as the one at home.

She slowly opened her eyes. The white ceiling the same as home. The brightness of the day slipped through the room even with the dark grey curtains. The warmth crawled through the edges, the emptiness and into the room as Maewnam has done to her heart. Without asking, without begging, Wan’s heart was filled with something she had been trying to replicate for so long.

Maewnam moved around next to her. The pillow she was hugging molded into a different position as she rested her head against it once again. Her perpetual smile always present with Wan.

“Good morning, Khun Wan.” Her fingers curled into the pillow. Wan doesn’t know how she looked. She doesn’t know how she reacted. She only knew the curve of Maewnam’s eyes twinkled and the curve of her smile widened.

“How long have you been awake?”

Maewnam licked her lips, humming. She grinned once again. Her face closer. The count of her eyelashes had Wan in a trance—almost wanting to touch them to see if they were real. She stared.

“Long enough to hear you mumble in your sleep.”

Wan rolled her eyes. She closed her eyes and pulled the blanket up to her chin. “You’re making that up.”

“No.” Maewnam laughed. “It’s cute. Everything about you is cute, Khun Wan.”

Wan raised an eyebrow. “You’re so small. Shouldn’t I say that to you?”

“Well…” Maewnam jutted her bottom lip out. Her eyes suddenly widened. “Does that mean you think I”m cute?”

Wan turned around. “I didn’t say that.”

Maewnam wiggled closer. The hairs against Wan’s back stood straight with how warm Maewnam’s body was. Their flesh almost pressed against each other once again. She turned back around, gasping. Maewnam pulled her head back, pressing her lips together to stop a sound.

Wan cleared her throat. Her hand pressed against Maewnam’s chest. She pulled them away, the tips burning with the want to touch more.

“You can touch me, Khun Wan.”

Wan shook her head. “I should go.”

“There’s a whole day ahead of us. Why leave so soon?” Maewnam smiled, less enthusiastic—a little tired.

Wan bit her lip. She never told Manmuk when her appointment was over. She knew they could last a whole day. She didn’t have to go home yet.

“What do you have planned?” Wan asked.

Maewnam sat up. “We can go to the aquarium! The mall isn’t too far from here. We’ll need to walk for about twenty minutes.”

“We can’t leave this room?”

Maewnam shut her mouth. “The people here love me. They’ll let us break some rules. Don’t worry, Khun Wan.”

“They love you, huh?”

Maewnam nodded. Her grin back on her face. Wan kind of wanted to punch it. With her first or mouth, she wasn’t sure yet.

She doesn’t have time to decide. Maewnam got out of the bed. Butt naked. No shame. She grabbed some clothes from the closet by the bed.

Wan got out of bed to get her clothes from the ground. When she turned around, Maewnam was staring at her. The folded clothes loosely held in her hands. She swallowed and looked away.

“Did I tell you you’re beautiful?” Maewnam’s eyes glazed from her head to her toes. Wan smirked and put on her underwear. Maewnam’s neck pink, rushing to the tips of her ears. Wan held in her laugh vibrating at her chest.

“You have.”

Maewnam put on an undershirt. She slipped through her boxers. “I want to tell you again.” Maewnam reached over and grabbed her shorts. The buttons loose, apart as the white of her underwear show through.

Wan looked down. Maewnam’s head tilted up to meet her eyes. Her fingertips at the edge of what Wan supposed she desired. A heart beat later, Wan could only hear the deep breaths Maewnam took. The warmth spread against her chin with every exhale she made.

Maewnam buttoned her shorts for her, yet her hands travel up instead of down. Wan’s heart raced. The soft flesh of her skin against the hard placement of her muscles against her stomach traced over with a touch of a finger. A splash of orange covered the silence between the two.

“You’re beautiful,” Maewnam whispered. Wan’s shaky hands raised up. A thumb pressed against Maewnam’s chin, rubbing it while the lips above it call out fo her in stillness.

Maewnam sucked in a breath. Wan leaned in closer. The hands against her skin rid higher. “Khun Wan,” Maewnam softly said. Wan doesn’t close the gap between them. “I can call you beautiful for the rest of my life.”

Wan kissed her. Her hand slid to cup her cheek then to the back of her head. Pulling her in to taste the sweet words against her tongue, Wan licked the way her tongue shied away. Maewnam’s hands pressed against her chest this time, pulling them apart.

Wan licked her lips. In entirety, she pulled herself away from any temptation to do more than what she had done. Wan put on the rest of her clothes by herself. Maewnam smiled beside her. She didn’t have to look to know.

“Do you like kissing me?” Maewnam chirped. Wan rolled her eyes and grabbed her purse. “Khun Wan!” Maewnam whined when Wan went to the bathroom to wash up.

Maewnam took off the window screen. She slid it inside of room. She crawled through the window frame. Wan leaned against the wall, holding the curtains to watch her. “Have you done this before?”

“No.” Maewnam looked around before pointing up at a security camera. She pressed her finger against her lips before motioning Wan to follow her.

This was stupid, Wan thought. She followed her anyway. She climbed out. Maewnam closed the window, leaving a centimeter.

She held Wan’s hand and ran through the grass. “We could take my car…” Wan said while their fingers interlocked. Their shoes leaving traces against the freshly trimmed grass. The pounding of their rushing feet against the cement replaced the quiet waves of plants. People looked at them. Some stared.

Wan’s focus remained on Maewnam’s eyes glimmering under the sun. Her pale skin glowed outside like she belonged to be free.

“You have to pretend you’re still there for an appointment.” Maewnam looked back. Wan pouted and held Maewnam’s hands tighter when they made it to the crosswalk.

“Do you like your job, Maewnam?”

Maewnam shrugged. She nodded. “I like helping people.”

Wan bit her lip. The thought of her other clients. How many of them ddi she do the same thing to? Was this just another thing she does for the people she had to work with?

Maewnam turned around. Her hair flipped around. The straight, brown strands stroked against the land behind her, against the color of her shirt, against the cars waiting to get around the city. Wan unconsciously followed wherever Maewnam took her.

“What about you? Do you like your job?” Maewnam looked up. Wan almost stopped her tracks.

She nodded, absentmindedly. It was an office job. It was easy most days. It paid well to live life.

“Maewnam.”

“Hm?”

“Did you take your other clients to go to the aquarium?”

Maewnam shook her head. “You asked if I’ve ever done this. I said no.” Maewnam tugged onto her arm, making her fall into her orbit. Wan looked away knowing Maewnam was going to tease her. “Jealous?”

“No. Crazy.” Wan pulled her hand away. Maewnam pouted.

“Can’t I hold your hand, Khun Wan? We’ve done more already.”

“Maewnam.” Wan crossed her arms against her chest.

Maewnam nodded. “How long have you and your girlfriend dated?”

Wan didn’t want to talk about her. She hasn’t thought about her since she woke up to now. She looked down. The cars drove by. The light remained red.

“About ten years.”

“Oh…” Maewnam held her hands together. Her fingers tapped against the back of her hand. “That’s a long time.”

Wan nodded.

Wan stomach growled when they finally reached the mall. Maewnam laughed. “Should we eat first?”

Wan sheepishly nodded, holding her stomach. Begging for it to be quiet because she has embarrassed herself enough in front of Maewnam the last 10 hours.

Maewnam pointed at a burger joint. “Something easy and quick?”

Wan followed her. Maewnam grabbed the receipt with the number and thanked them before they walked away to a table. Wan looked around the crowded place. She hasn’t gone to a mall in a while. The office had its own place to get food and there were convenience stores nearby. There was no real reason to go to the mall.

She noticed the bright signs of some jewelry stores on the top levels. A memory or many of Manmuk saying she’ll buy her an engagement ring so big, Wan has never seen it in these stores. They both knew she was joking. Still, Wan’s lips twitched at how they used to be.

“I used to always ask my mom to buy me this.” Maewnam smiled at the receipt. “What was your favorite place to eat as a kid?”

“My dad used to own a grocery store. My favorite was a restaurant nearby. She made good pork fried rice.”

“Used to? What does he do now?”

The words lost against her tongue. The creeping pain inside of her chest remained—occasionally it would come and remind her of all the things she lost. She swallowed it down. The heaviness settled inside of her stomach. She could puke.

She shook her head. “Both of my parents aren’t here anymore.”

Maewnam slowly nodded. She bit her lip and crumbled the corners of the paper trying to reach out, but she doesn’t go any further than the border Maewnam had put for herself. Wan didn’t want a line between them. 

She knew they barely knew each other, but Maewnam has already seen all the places no one else has seen. She has treated her in ways she couldn’t even imagine at her most vulnerable state.

“I’m sorry,” Maewnam’s voice was soft in between the loud crowds. Wan heard it, almost slipping it away through the noise.

Wan nodded. “It’s okay.”

Maewnam opened her mouth to say something, but their number was called. She got up and went to get their trays.

Guilt swirled inside of her guts the more she remembered about her father. The last few years of his life, she was barely there. The constant nagging for her to come home now only an echo of memories that slowly turn faint. The older she got, the less she remembered. The more she lived life, the further away his face, his voice, his presence was from her.

Maybe it would be the same even if he was alive. She barely did go check up on him—always in a routine of coming home to Manmuk instead. A constant of before her dad’s death and after.

“Khun Wan?”

Wan blinked. She looked up at the unwrapped burger in Maewnam’s hands. There was already a bite.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Wan nodded. She started to eat her own meal. The taste of college days down her throat with the sweet zero sugar drink. Manmuk’s laughter as she wiped away sauce from her face. The papers on the table forgotten

Maewnam sipped her drink. “I probably opened a pandora box with my question.”

Wan shook her head. “You did nothing, Maewnam.”

Maewnam pouted and bit into her burger. A little messy. A little careless. A little angry. Wan smiled. She grabbed a napkin and leaned over to wipe the sauce at the corner of her lips. “You’re a kid.”

Maewnam held Wan’s wrist. “Can you take care of me then?”

Wan rolled her eyes and sat back down. “I already am. See.” She raised the napkin with a smear of sauce.

Maewnam smiled and ate some fries. She stared at the tray in front of her. Her mouth only moved to eat. Wan nibbled onto her food. Maewnam was a little weird too.

Wan threw away the trash into the trashcan. She glanced at a familiar place Noey would go to often for lunch. She even asked her if she wanted her to buy her anything some days. 

Her heart stopped.

Noey was standing in line with her phone in her hand. Her head looked back up, glancing around. Wan hid behind Maewnam even if her head was still in view. She turned around.

“We need to leave,” Wan said.

“What? Why?” Maewnam doesn’t get to look around. Wan held her hand and rushed to the exit.

Wan looked back, making sure Noey was still in line. Her friend, clueless, looking at her phone once again.

“What about the aquarium…?” Maewnam pouted. Wan let go of her hand and waited for a moment the world stopped moving. Their feet stopped by the light. The cars moved. The world continued on its way. Her heart beat like it was supposed to be instead of running away.

“Next time.”

“Next time?”

Wan nodded. Maewnam grinned.

“Don’t make me regret saying that.”

Maewnam pressed her lips together. She covered her mouth and nodded.

Maewnam waved at the security camera before slipping a stick in the gap. She pushed it wider. Her hand pushed it all the way open, letting Wan get inside first. She followed and put everything back the way it used to be.

“Did you sneak out a lot when you lived with your parents?” Wan asked. Maewnam pulled away the grey curtains, letting the white, thin mesh ones hug the sunlight.

“No. I still live with them. Well…” Maewnam took off her shoes. “I live with my mom and step-dad.”

Wan clutched the chain of her purse. “Today is for learning family,” Wan said.

“What’s tomorrow going to be?” Maewnam stood in front of her. The door a foot away from them. They both knew it was time for Wan to leave. There were no more excuses for her to stay. There were no more reasons behind a contract for her to remain in the place they could find each other.

The only reason for Wan to stay was something they couldn’t bring up yet.

“I won’t see you tomorrow.”

Maewnam’s toes touched her shoes. “Are you sure? I’m always free for you, Khun Wan.”

“Maewnam.”

“You’re the only one I’ve accepted. I’ve rejected all other clients.”

Wan took a breath, almost holding it. “That’s not good business…”

Maewnam smiled. “Did you enjoy time with me?”

Wan’s hands dug deeper into the chains. She stood straight. The ache in her spine a reminder of her bad posture. Her lip dry like her throat, unable to say the truth. A lie pounding inside of her head. Yet, Maewnam’s eyes waited in a warmth she seemed to always fall back in.

“I did,” she breathed out.

Maewnam nodded. Her eyes searched something from Wan. Her lips open and closed with words that Wan wouldn’t hear. 

“I enjoy spending time with you too, Khun Wan.”

Wan turned toward the door. She furrow her eyebrows, remembering the way Maewnam’s eyes searched her face. The flicker toward her lips more times than it should be. Everything between them is more than it should be.

She wrapped her arms around Maewnam’s waist. One hand dug into her lower back while the other rested against her shoulder blade, running against the flower of Maewnam’s hair. Their lips crashed in between the questions and answers. Maewnam doesn’t kiss back right away. One kiss. Two kisses. Maewnam answered back.

Small hands pressed against the sides of Wan’s neck. One of them falling down to her shoulders, pulling her closer as they turned their heads. Noses rubbed against each other, crashing like waves into each other’s skin as their kiss is pulled and pushed deeper.

Wan’s phone rung. She closed her eyes tighter, hoping it was just her imagination. She breathed in Maewnam through her nose. She breathed in Maewnam with open mouths trying to taste each other. She breathed in Maewnam when they parted aways. The sound of the ringtone still loud and real.

Wan licked her lips and answered it. She turned around.

“Hello?”

“Where are you? Why is your appointment so long this time? You’ve been ignoring my texts.”

Wan sucked in a breath, quietly. She didn’t want to press more buttons. She didn’t need Manmuk to be in a worse mood.

“I overslept. I’m on my way home.”

“Oh…” The line was quiet. Wan almost hung up. “Did you two do it that long?” Manmuk’s voice smaller. Wan stared at the reflection of Maewnam’s figure through the doorknob. 

She wished they did.

“I was tired. Long work week. I’ll see you.”

“Okay. Get here safely.”

Wan hung up. She glanced behind her. Maewnam held her hand against her stomach, chewing her lips.

“Maewnam.” Wan held the doorknob. If she turned around, she might turn back around. And she couldn’t break her words to her girlfriend. “I’ll see you next time.”

“Next time,” Maewnam’s voice gentle and hopeful. Wan didn’t want to break these words to Maewnam either.

She walked out of the room. The walk through the hallway was dim and long. The smile of the receptionist was no longer a light in the dark. The switch between goodbyes and hellos.

“Miss Thantara, the doctor said next week is a critical time for your fertility. Will you be free to come at least three days next week?”

Wan stared at the sheets that mean nothing to her. She didn’t understand them. All she knew was her answer: “Yes, I can.”

Chapter Text

Wan took off her shirt. The room brightly lit by the sun. The sheets still wrinkled from how they slept last night. Manmuk sat at the edge of the bed, looking through her phone. A smile on her face as she read comments.

Wan stared at it a little longer. The memory of how Manmuk’s smile used to make her feel ghost against the figure in front of her now. 

“You have marks on your back,” Manmuk said. Wan turned her head as far as she could to see. The new shirt already through her arms, but Manmuk held her shoulders to look closer.

Wan froze.

“She didn’t mate with you, did she?” Manmuk’s voice breathy and low. Wan shook her head. Her hair was pulled to the side. The back of her neck was spotless. She knew that for certainty.

Manmuk’s fingers traced against her back. They stopped at two areas. “Why did you let her mark you?” Her thumb pad pushed into her skin. Her long nails dug into her skin, a stinging pain. Wan shrugged her off, but her girlfriend doesn’t move away.

“It’s nothing.” Wan tried to put on her shirt, but Manmuk hugged her arms to her body.

“It’s not nothing to me. I only agreed to have her give you a child. I didn’t agree to her marking you up like this.”

“Manmuk. This is just how it goes. Sex is sex.”

Manmuk pushed her against the wall and kissed her shoulder. Wan’s head bent down. She sighed, tired. “What are you doing?”

“Making sure she knows who you belong to next time she looks at you.”

Manmuk’s lips pressed against her shoulder. Wan glanced back to meet her eyes. “Can I? Are you still mine, Wan?” Manmuk whispered.

Wan looked away and nodded. To make up for the feelings she had developed for the other alpha, she let her girlfriend do whatever she wanted.

Manmuk bit around her back. Her teeth dragged along her skin. Her tongue licked a spot before sucking it. A pop sound loud in Wan’s ears; she winced.

Sundays were their lazy days. They’d spend time inside. Some friends would call, but they both collectively decided to make a routine for this day to be their day. Nothing new came out of it. No growing feelings began. No feelings came back even with a habit.

Wan played with the rice on her plate. “Manmuk.”

Manmuk looked up as she chewed.

“I have three appointments this week. The doctor said it’s when I’m the most fertile.”

Manmuk looked at the dates. She nodded. Her chew slowed down. A swallow. Wan bit her lip, not knowing what her girlfriend was thinking.

“Is it always the same days?” Manmuk doesn’t eat more. Her eyes curious, almost sparkling underneath the ceiling light.

Wan shrugged. “I think.”

“I’ll remember for the future then.”

Wan’s throat suddenly dry. The future…Wan didn’t see Manmuk in her far future. She didn’t want Manmuk in her life anymore. She grabbed her cup of water and drank. The glass cold against her palm, reminding her of the way Maewnam’s hands felt against her skin at its first touch.

She stared at the food. She wished she was back at the mall, eating a burger and listening to Maewnam’s voice. The cheeky grin that remained on Maewnam’s face even when Wan pushed her away with all the words—all her strength, but she knew she wanted it all anyway.

The places Manmuk’s fingers lingered on. She held them in the back of her head. An ache. An itch. She wanted Maewnam’s lips to be against her once again.

Manmuk dropped her spoon. Wan finally looked up. “You never listen to me anymore, Wan.”

Wan furrow her eyebrows. “What are you talking about?”

“I’ve been talking about some comments I’ve been getting. I even called your name. You don’t even look at me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You always say sorry, but nothing changes. I do so many things for you Wan. The least you could do is give me your attention. I pay for rent. I cook the food. I pay for your fertility bills. What do you do?”

Wan tilted her head. “I pay for rent too, Manmuk.”

“What else? I can’t even have sex with you because of your problems. What is there to you? Why am I with you?” Manmuk pushed her plate away. Her hand ran through her hair.

“Break up with me then.” Wan’s heart pounded in her ears after those words escaped. She didn’t mean to say it. Yet, she wanted to say it. She had wanted to say such words for so long.

Manmuk’s eyes shook. Her cheeks flushed as her hair continued to be ran down by her hands. Wan’s hands curled into fists against her lap. Regret slowly crept in.

“I’ll die without you, Wan.” Manmuk stood up and slammed her hand against the table. Wan flinched. “I love you! I love you, and I don’t how to not love you.” Manmuk’s voice breaking at the end.

Wan licked her lips and nodded. Manmuk was never going to be the one to break up with her. She understood that now. It was up to her to make her own escape.

“I’m sorry.” Wan sucked in a breath. She was really sorry for falling out of love with Manmuk.

Manmuk nodded. She walked over to Wan and bent over for a kiss. Wan wanted a small little peck. Manmuk seemed to want more. Holding her face, Manmuk deepend the kiss with her lips moving along Wan’s still ones.

Wan pulled away. “Manmuk…”

“Tell me you love me too, Wan. Please.” Manmuk rested her forehead against hers. Her eyes closed. Wan stared at the face she had loved for so long. She stared at the face she began to want to be far away from.

The day after her dad’s funeral put in between them. Manmuk didn’t even try to understand why she was crying and not wanting to be touched. Was the first domino to fall? Or was it long before her dad’s death?

Wan leaned in to kiss her again. It was easier to cover the truth than to spill a lie.

Wan could smell it this time: Manmuk’s peppermint protection all over her. She stared at the door she wished she could call her room. The white door where Maewnam would wait for her instead of Manmuk. The door that has been her shelter through the storms of adulthood.

She took a deep breath. The doorbell rung. The door immediately opening with a hug in her heart—so tight, it almost hurts to see who she wanted to see for so long.

“Hi, Khun Wan!” Maewnam closed the door behind her. Wan set her purse on the couch. Maewnam cleared her throat, her fingers laced into each other as she pressed it against her chest. “Is your girlfriend…not happy about this arrangement?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Wan took off her shirt. Maewnam rapidly blinked. She took off her pants. 

“Uh…” Maewnam swallowed, looking away then looked over Wan once. “Are you sure about tonight?”

“Do you need help taking off your clothes?” Wan hovered over her. Her hands already slipped underneath her shirt. Maewnam doesn’t answer with words or movements. Her eyes could only stare up at Wan, and that was enough of an answer for Wan.

She rolled the shirt off Maewnam. Her hands wrapped around her sides and pulled her in. “K-Khun Wan…”

Wan kissed her neck. Maewnam gasped, holding onto her bare shoulders. Her hands warm and small. Her palms pressed in deeper when Wan sucked a spot below her ear.

Maewnam rolled her head back, stumbling back at the force of Wan’s mouth clasping against her skin. Wan groaned as she kissed her neck with a graze of her teeth. Her back hit the door.

“You asked if I wanted to be here,” Wan whispered. Her hand were inside of Maewnam’s boxers and shorts. Her fingers brush against her dick. “I want to be here, Maewnam. I don’t want to be anywhere else but with you.”

The peppermint had been long gone. The scent of coconut and rum filled the room as it had every night they find each other. Maewnam pushed her away. Wan’s eyes lazily opened at the sudden cold.

Her body fell back. Wan’s feet only listened to the push Maewnam gave her. Hands pressed against her chest. One fell down to rub its palm against her nipple through the cushion of her bra. Wan sprawled on the bed. Maewnam held in her breath, eyeing her up and down.

Wan bit her lip. Her hands attempt to cover herself, but they were busy holding herself up.

The scent of jasmine and orange tingled against the back of her neck. Burning all over again. A pain that has come to pleasure. She wanted to be scorched by Maewnam.

Her bra unclasped. Maewnam dived in to suck on her breast. Her other hand massaging the other, pinching in between her fingers. Wan whimpered Maewnam’s name in between the breathtaking sighs. 

Maewnam kissed her cleavage, trailing her lips higher and higher. Her tongue licked her chin before both of her lips. Wan chased for her mouth with a gasp. Maewnam doesn’t let her kiss her yet.

“I want you,” Maewnam softly spoke in a low tone, a slight grind into it that caused friction in her core. Wan pushed herself forward to kiss her. Maewnam kissed her harder and deeper. She moaned into her mouth as their lips parted, breathing in milliseconds before giving their life away to kiss each other again.

Wan’s hand pressed against her bulge. She rubbed it. Her hands wrapped around its girth to make Maewnam feel all of her hand. 

Maewnam moaned, pulling away. She looked down. Wan rubbed faster. “I want you in ways I can’t have you,” Maewnam whispered. Wan stopped rubbing and pulled down every garment below her hips.

“I’m right here.” Wan’s thumb pressed into Maewnam’s head. “You have me.”

Maewnam kicked off the clothes hanging on her legs. She licked both of Wan’s nipples to then suck on the one she hasn’t given love to. Her tongue flicked against it, swirling in two rounds before pulling away to suck the hardened nub. 

Maewnam’s hands pulled Wan’s underwear down. Wan helping her by moving her legs and lifting herself up as it fell off the bed. Warm fingers pressed against the cold of her cum covered clit. Maewnam rubbed in circles—slow.

“Maewnam…” Wan gasped. Her hands pulled Maewnam closer to her chest. Maewnam lowered herself, kissing her stomach. Wan’s hands gripped the sheets. Her head light from the scent Maewnam covered her in. She could almost taste it against her tongue—almost feel how warm it would be to be bitten by Maewnam.

Maewnam dragged her tongue down Wan’s abs. Her eyes stared up to watch Wan’s reaction. And Wan stared down at her, mouth parted with curse words escaping her lips like she was reading off a book. A small little smirk on Maewnam’s face when she reached down to her clit.

Wan’s body jolted when her tongue finally licked her aching core. A flat tongue against her clit, moving around to taste the cum that has already announced how much she wanted this—how much she needed this.

“Maewnam…Faster,” Wan managed to say. Maewnam nodded. Her tongue flicked against her clit faster right on command. She moved her head, shoving her face deeper. The short breaths of her nose blew against Wan’s skin as she continued.

Wan threw her head back, a throaty moan echoed into the mist of their scents. “Maewnam!”

Her hips bucked up, caught in the air as she came. Maewnam pulled away, watching the way her fluids spill out of her. Wan covered her mouth. She wanted to cover her whole face.

Maewnam kissed her thigh and sat on her knees. “So pretty, my Khun Wan.”

Wan closed her eyes, holding her hand against her mouth tighter.

Maewnam rubbing her dick against her clit. Slowly. Her thumb pressed against the other side. “Khun Wan, do you like my scent?”

Wan nodded, gasping when Maewnam pressed her dick harder against her clit. “I do.”

“I wish to leave it all over you too…” Maewnam stopped moving and kissed her. Wan cupped her face and sucked her bottom lip. Their tongues flicked against each other before she sucked her upper lip. She pulled away and pulled Maewnam’s forehead against her lips. A gentle press of her lips.

“Leave it inside me.”

Maewnam’s eyes widened. Wan smiled. The alpha flipped Wan over onto her stomach. Wan groaned at how fast she was doing it. “You could have told me to roll over,” Wan said.

Maewnam giggled. Her fingers traced the back of her neck. Hairs stood up all over her body at the slow pace of her drawing a piece of art that disappeared as soon as it was drawn. Maewnam kissed her shoulder. Her fingers no longer touching the mate spot.

Maewnam’s lips pressed against it instead. She breathed it in. Her nose rubbed against her skin. Her lips continuously fluttered kisses against the part. “I…” Maewnam doesn’t finish her sentence. She pulled herself away.

Wan looked over. Maewnan’s face flushed and sweaty. Her canine teeth caused her bottom lip to bleed. Wan swallowed.

Oh…

Maewnam wiped away the little blood. “I’m sorry.”

Wan shook her head. She reached over to rub Maewnam’s thigh. “It’s okay. You didn’t do anything.”

Maewnam bit her back instead. Wan yelped, pulling the sheets to bundle in her fingers. “These marks aren’t mine.”

Wan nodded. Maewnam spread open her legs and lifted her up. “Did they hurt?”

Wan shook her head.

Maewnam kissed the spot she bit before slipping herself inside of Wan. Wan gasped, her body moved as Maewnam’s dick filled her up. Her walls wrapped around it in warmth and slick. Her cheek pressed against the mattress. Maewnam’s thrusts were slow, hard and deep. A grunt each time her entire dick went inside of her.

Wan’s moans were high when Maewnam suddenly pounded faster. Her thrusts less calculated, less deep, but it hit where it was supposed to be. “Yes! Maewnam, yes!” Wan bit the sheets.

Maewnam held her hips tighter. She continued, whimpering Wan’s name. Her posture slowly descending to bend over Wan. She slowed down. Wan gasped, almost coming again.

“I’m so close, Maewnam.” Wan gripped onto her wrist. Her arm aching from the weird position, the pull of her muscle as Maewnam went faster again.

“Khun Wan…” Maewnam moaned. She closed her eyes tightly as she shook. “Khun Wan, you feel so good.”

Wan nodded and cried out. “Fuck. You feel so good too—ah!” Her hips locked, pushing down onto Maewnam’s dick as she came. Maewnam doesn’t fully stop, fucking her until she comes herself.

Wan’s name yelled in a beautiful, raspy tone. Everything fell apart. Maewnam hunched over her as her hips twitch while her sperm filled her up.

Maewnam pulled out when she was done. A little bit leaked down Wan’s thigh. A pretty, sweaty woman lay next to her. A lazy smile on her face. The red was pretty against Maewnam’s freckles.

“Was it good?”

Wan smiled, lightly chuckling. She reached over to draw Maewnam’s jawline with her finger. “You’re always good, Maewnam.”

Maewnam grinned and kissed her finger when it landed on her lips.

Wan and Maewnam lay in bed naked. Wan was supposed to go back home, but she wanted to stay. Maewnam let her stay.

“What do you do when you’re not here?” Wan looked at Maewnam. The latter’s head rested on the bed board while she lay on two pillows.

“I go help around this little town. One of my clients live there.”

“So you see your child too?”

Maewnam laughed and nodded. “A daughter. She has a daughter.”

Wan pursed her lips. “Do you want to be her mother? You know…actual mom.”

Maewnam fixed Wan’s hair. Wan held her hand and placed it against her lips. Maewnam’s pulse against her fingertips. “She’s just another kid I help, Khun Wan.”

Wan nodded. Maewnam stared at her. A golden glow in her eyes. Wan’s heart quivered at so much attention—at how Maewnam’s stare made her feel: like the world was at the palm of her hands. She looked away and cleared her throat.

Maewnam’s thumb rubbed against the corner of her lips. “And you, Khun Wan? What are your plans after you get pregnant?”

Wan shrugged. Manmuk didn’t really tell her the plan of what will happen. She didn’t really plan to do this, but here she was. She didn’t even know what Manmuk would want to do with a child that wasn’t hers.

“Can we talk about you?” Wan pressed her lips. She didn’t really want to think about Manmuk.

Maewnam pouted. “But I want to know about you…”

Wan shook her head with a tight smile. “Why do you want to go to the aquarium?”

Maewnam turned her head to look at the ceiling. Wan held her hand with both of her hands. She drew the lines of her palm. Maewnam’s smile soft and small at the feeling.

“Every Wednesday after school, my dad used to take me there to meet up with my mom once she was done working.” Maewnam turned her whole body toward Wan. Her body no longer supported by the pillows. Their eyes at the same level. “It was one of the only places they were happy together. It made me happy.”

Wan kissed her hand. They looked at each other. Their scent slowly fading away to let a calming silence get in between them. Wan’s heart slow and loud. Maewnam scooted closer.

Wan fixed her hair. Her hand remained against her cheek. “Where’s your dad?”

Maewnam hummed. “I don’t see him anymore. My mom had custody over me.” Maewnam snuggled closer. Their hands in between their mouths. “He wasn’t a very good dad, but he tried.”

“And your step-dad?”

Maewnam nodded. “He’s calmer. More understanding. My mom is happy with him.”

“Are you happy?”

Maewnam’s lips formed contemplation. One side of her mouth wider than the other as her cheeks formed into a bubble. Her lips blew out a soft raspberry, breaking her thoughts. She nodded.

“Right now, with you, I am.”

Wan rolled her eyes. “I meant your family.”

Maewnam grinned and kissed her cheek. Wan kissed her lips when she fell back onto the bed. 

Chapter Text

Wan locked her car behind her. The flashes of the lights beamed against the building. The sliding doors opened with bright lights reflecting all the white inside. She showed her card to the reception office. There were three people waiting for their checkup. Surely, there would be more to come since she came right after work like everyone else would do.

She walked into the back. The familiar place she almost called home. It wasn’t home. Not exactly a place she wanted to spend the rest of her life in, but a place that had someone she wouldn’t mind calling home.

The guards today were on higher alert. The appointment card in her hand.

“Good evening, Miss Thantara. Miss Sudteerak is already in her room. You’re free to go.” The receptionist glanced up. Wan nodded with a smile. “Oh, there’s an alpha in a rut. There will be a door with a lot of guards. You can just walk pass them.”

Wan turned around. The crowded hallway scarier than the first time she walked through the line of doors. Slow steps toward the arch, she entered as she usually did. Her steps were careful against the carpet underneath her shoes.

The guards nodded at her. She nodded back. She held in her breath, slipping her way through the small space between the wall and guards.

The scent of smoke and cinnamon tickled her nose. She covered her mouth, almost puking it out. Walking faster to the end of the hallway, she rung Maewnam’s doorbell. Her heart ticked. When will it be the last time she’ll be standing there?

The door opened. The sight of white against Maewnam’s hands were clear. “Hi, Khun Wan.” Maewnam grinned, once again. Wan stepped into the room. The door closed as usual. A routine between the two. She almost didn’t even remember how she got there.

“What happened to your finger?” Wan asked, pointing at the bandaid. Maewnam pointed it out.

“I hammered it on accident.”

“Hammer?”

“Yep! I was fixing a sign for a shop.” Maewnam held her hands behind her back. Her head tilted up with a little smile and eye crinkle. Wan looked away, afraid of the overwhelming ache in her heart at such a pretty face.

Maewnam giggled. “Do you want something to drink? Eat?”

Wan shook her head and set her purse on the couch. She looked around the room. The window they had escaped from. The little round table in front of it with a comforting two chairs—no one else would be there but the two of them. The kitchenette tidy as if it barely had been touched.

They really did know how to make a room comfortable for their clients.

“How was your day, Khun Wan?”

Wan shrugged. She sat down on the bed and pat the place beside her. Maewnam listened. She always listened well. Wan wondered if her mom was thankful for how well she was behaved.

She cupped Maewnam’s hand in hers. The tip of her finger was red. Wan pulled it closer and pressed a small kiss on it. “Does it hurt?”

Maewnam stuttered on her words. She licked her lips and shook her head. “It happened a while ago.”

Wan squeezed it. Maewnam pulled it back and whined. “Khun Wan! That hurts!”

“Liar.”

Wan took off the hair tie on her wrist to tie her up in a bun. Maewnam was pouting while staring at her injury. She mumbled something along the lines that it wasn’t that bad. Wan rolled her eyes.

She pushed back Maewnam’s hair away from her neck and shoulders. It waved against her back. Maewnam pulled herself back, but Wan only chased her down.

“Let me take care of you tonight,” Wan whispered against her ear. She could feel her own warm breath hit back on her lips. Maewnam shivered underneath her touch. She kissed her neck. The taste of something sweet at the tip of her tongue. Her lips traveled to the back of Maewnam’s neck.

Maewnam sucked in a breath. Her hand gripped onto Wan’s thigh. Wan licked her glands. The floral scent was intoxicating as she licked away the sweet citrus. Wan pulled away, out of breath. Her gums tingled, itching her teeth to make the mark.

She pushed Maewnam down on the bed. Maewnam’s doe eyes staring up at her, wide and confused. Wan licked her teeth, hoping it would cool down the desire.

Wan straddled her. Maewnam’s back arching, almost sitting up at the motion. Wan hushed her, a finger traced her lips. Maewnam’s lips parted. “Khun Wan, I’m okay…I can do it.”

Wan bent over and crashed their lips together. Maewnam’s teeth pressed onto her upper lip in pain. Their lips moved trying to ease the impact. Maewnam moaned into her mouth as she rolled her hips. 

A slight grind didn’t seem like enough. Wan dragged her lips up to taste the remaining sounds Maewnam let out. The palm of her hands pressed deep into the mattress. Her hips moved in waves that had the bed underneath shake, squeak and bounce.

Maewnam’s head thrown back. Their lips rubbed against each other. Wan’s name sounded beautiful coming out from Maewnam’s name. She kissed her chin. “Sudteerak,” Wan huskily said on her skin.

Maewnam’s arms wrapped around her neck. A hand pressed against the back of her head as they breathed into each other’s mouth. Maewnam stuck her tongue inside, exploring against her cheeks. Wan sucked her tongue when she was about to pull away.

Both of their hips moved on their own accord. Maewnam almost rolled them over, but Wan pinned her wrist down. “Maewnam,” Wan swallowed the taste of the woman underneath her. “You might be an alpha, but I’m older. Listen to me.”

Maewnam groaned.

Wan bit her neck. Then, her tongue drew the mark. Each teeth mark indented into her skin. She kissed her way back to Maewnam’s ears. “Can you do that? Can you be a good girl for me?”

Maewnam nodded.

Wan smiled. She sat up. She pulled Maewnam’s shirt up. Her fingers pressed against her sports bra, feeling her hard nipples under. Maewnam raised herself up to take it off. 

“This too. Take it off.” Wan pointed at the bra. Maewnam took it off without hesitation. She lay back down, half naked.

Wan stared. Her fingers traced the lines against her stomach. Every time she moved her fingers to draw, Maewnam’s breath hitch. Her stomach curled and uncurled. Wan let her two little fingers walk up to Maewnam’s chest. A smirk remained on her lips.

Maewnam bit her lip. Her eyes darted between her fingers and her face. Wan pinched both of her nipples. She pressed her thumbs against them and kneaded her boobs. 

She continued to pressed herself down on Maewnam’s bulge pressed against her crotch. She shifted. Maewnam sucked in a breath.

She pushed herself over, pulling herself down as she kissed Maewnam’s heaving chest. She licked both of her nipples. Her teeth grazed against one before she lowered her wet kisses. A clear wet spot underneath one boob. Her lips continued. Her tongue flat against warm skin. Her nose filled up with the scent of jasmine and oranges once again.

She looked up. Maewnam stared down at her with a plead. Brown, round and shiny. Wan wanted to see the moment Maewnam’s eyes turned into want and desire. She grabbed her dick through her shorts.

“Khun Wan!” Maewnam choked. Wan rubbed it as she continued to mark the map of Maewnam’s stomach. She licked around her belly button before bitting right below it. Her thumb pressed against Maewnam’s dickhead.

She pulled off the remaining clothes. They hit the floor. She spread opened Maewnam’s legs. Her mouth busy to kiss inside of her thigh. Maewnam’s tender skin underneath her teeth replenished the need to bite the back of her neck.

Maewnam’s head rolled back. She lifted herself up by her elbows. Wan knew she wanted to switch. The look she has seen enough times with a room filled with the warmth of jasmine and oranges mixed with a sickening sweet coconut and rum. 

She spread Maewnam’s legs wider and kissed closer to Maewnam’s twitching cock. “Be good,” Wan said.

Wan licked her balls. She sucked on one, rolling her tongue against it. Maewnam fell back onto the bed, pushing her head closer. Her hips bucked. Wan pulled away with a pop before she stuck her tongue flat against Maewnam’s length.

The heat cooled against her tongue as she ran it up and down. The veins wrapped around her dick rubbed against her tongue. She sucked the tip. It pulsed inside of her mouth.

Maewnam whimpered, heavy breaths and grunts. Her hand locked into strands of Wan’s hair as she pushed her lower. “Fuck me, Khun Wan. Please.” 

Wan lowered herself half-way down. Maewnam’s whimpers high and mighty. Her body jolted up. “Yes, like that.”

Wan sucked, moving her head up and down. Maewnam’s groan low and almost silent. Wan doesn’t look up, closing her eyes to feel the way Maewnam’s dick filled up her mouth. She rubbed the tip against her cheek, pushing it closer and unclose.

Wan pulled away. Her drool ran down her chin. Saliva strands still connecting the twitching cock and her lips. Maewnam looked up from a haze. Her eyes dark and warm.

“You taste good.” Wan wiped her lips with a finger. She pulled off her pants and underwear. Sitting on her knees, she pulled Maewnam closer. She lead her inside of her, slipping it as easy as it always has been.

Wan bit her lip, unable to hold in her moan when Maewnam’s curve hit the right spot already. She gripped onto Maewnam’s thighs, pushing it down onto the bed as she fucked her.

Maewnam gripped her wrists, nails dug into her skin. Wan moaned her name. Maewnam swallowed it from a distance with desperate gasps.

Underneath her hands, Maewnam’s legs were shaking. She waited for it: Maewnam’s lips parting and a sweat line above her upper lips. The sight of her eyes sparkled like the night sky on a perfect clear night before it shut. The sound of Maewnam’s voice, low and from her chest as she called out Wan’s name. Wan waited with a thumping heart.

“Khun Wan! Wan, Wan…” Maewnam’s legs spread on its own. Inside of Wan’s walls, Maewnam’s girth pressed against them. Maewnam grunted, almost choking on her breath as she came inside of Wan. Her hands still wrapped around her wrist with a death grip.

Wan rubbed her clit, letting all of Maewnam inside of her. Maewnam’s whole chest stooped back down. Her eyes lazily opened. Her lips dry. Wan smiled and leaned down to press a simple kiss on her lips.

“You listen well,” Wan said. She fixed her hair. “You did good.”

Maewnam cleared her throat. “What about you?”

Wan pulled herself away. She thrusted Maewnam’s dick back inside of her. Maewnam held in her breath. Her eyes wide. Wan chased down her own pleasure.

She pressed her whole body down. Maewnam’s legs far apart to fit her in and the way she slips in and out of Maewnam. Wan kissed her, weakly and messily. Her name whispered against her lips. She wrapped around Maewnam tightly.

“You feel so good.” Wan bit her lip, pulling it before moaning into her mouth. Maewnam wrapped her arms around Wan’s neck.

“Come for me, Khun Wan.”

Wan’s head fell into the crook of Maewnam’s neck. Her knees dug into the mattress, pushing herself as close to Maewnam as possible. Her dick reached just the spot for her body to lock. She came.

Maewnam kissed her cheek. Wan heavily breathed against her neck. The burn against the back of her neck prominent within that moment. Jasmine and oranges was all she could focus on.

“Are you okay?” Maewnam asked. Wan swallowed. She nodded, trying not to think about how badly she wanted Maewnam as her mate. She doesn’t remember having this feeling with Manmuk.

She pulled away. Manmuk.

Maewnam blinked at how quickly she pulled way. “You sure?” Maewnam asked again as if her life was all making sure Wan lived a better life. Wan bit her lip and nodded. She lay next to Maewnam.

The blanket already pulled over them. Maewnam stared at her. She stared up at the ceiling. 

“Do you think about your girlfriend when we do it?”

Wan’s neck popped at how quick she turned to look at her. Maewnam’s smile was wistful—darker than the adorable little grin Wan wished she had on.

Maewnam hugged the blanket. “It’s normal. I had two clients that were already dating too.”

“Am I just a client to you, Maewnam?”

Maewnam’s lips parted, her tongue appeared before hiding back the words she wanted to say. She pursed her lips. Her eyes gazed somewhere else. “You were always more than just a client to me.”

Wan kissed her. Something warm. Something more. It’ll linger even when the sun rises tomorrow.

“You’re all I can think about,” Wan said.

Chapter Text

Wan answered the call through her phone. Manmuk’s name displayed on the screen. The song they discovered together at 21 playing as the ringtone. She held in her breath, almost wishing she didn’t have to say hi.

“Appointment again?” Manmuk doesn’t wait for the hello. Wan gripped on the wheel tighter.

“Yeah. It’s my last one for the week.”

“Do you think there would be more?”

Wan almost blurted out a concrete yes, but she bit her tongue instead. Too happy. Too quick. Manmuk had a heart too. Wan didn’t want to break it too much.

She turned into the parking lot of Propagate Gold. The engine still running at park in the usual spot Wan parked in.

“I don’t know,” she finally answered.

“Do you want to do something tomorrow night?”

Wan unbuckled her seatbelt. Her phone in her hand. She wanted to go inside already. The call still connected to her car’s speakers. 

“I don’t know.”

“You never know anything, Wan. You can say no.”

“If I say no, you’ll get mad.” Wan’s hand hovered over the button to turn off the engine. “I have to go now. Goodbye.”

Manmuk hung up with no words. Wan sighed and turned off the engine.

Wan’s shoulders loosened when the door opened. The sharp pain at the base of her neck dispersed. It had tightened and tightened the longer she walked through the hallway of alphas. Scents slipping through the door cracks. Her breath held in at unfamiliar smells. She didn’t want to start the night off even worse than it did after the call with Manmuk.

She closed the door behind her. Her shoes off with a few kicks. Maewnam walked across the couch and to the kitchenette. A bag rustled.

Wan turned around the corner, watching: Maewnam set the styrofoam cups on the dining table. She placed the bags of toppings next to them. “I ordered pho. Is that okay?”

Wan doesn’t answer. Maewnam doesn’t look for one as she went over to the sink to wash her hands.

Wan walked over to her. “Maewnam.”

“Hm?” Maewnam turned around. Wan cupped her face and kissed her. She breathed everything in. The scent of the broth placed its spot into the air. The taste of Maewnam’s lipstick at the tip of her tongue: sweet and plastic. The little gasp Maewnam made into her mouth was swallowed.

Maewnam pushed her, gently and in motion. Her hips pressed against the counter while Maewnam’s hand traveled down to her chest. A squeeze—enough to let coconut and rum replace the fading smell of anything and everything else.

Wan pulled away to breathe. Maewnam kissed her chin. She pulled down her shirt, kissing her collarbone. Soft lips pressed against the skin of her neck while she tried to catch her breath—failing.

“Maewnam.” Wan gripped her shoulders. A push. A pull. She held it tighter when Maewnam licked a spot.

She turned them around. Maewnam out of her haze. She widened her eyes when Wan lifted her off the ground, pushing her onto the counter. Wan took off her coat and shirt.

Maewnam wrapped her arms around Wan’s neck, smiling. “You’re strong, Khun Wan.” She pulled her into another kiss. A little lick. Mouths sucking. Heads turning. Maewnam pushed down the cups of her bra and rubbed her nipples.

Wan moaned into her mouth, falling into her as her heart did without knowing. She whispered Maewnam’s name against her lips as they barely touched. Maewnam nodded as she continued to fondle with her breast. Every brush her thumb made against her nipples left Wan twitching, a wave of pleasure traveled inside of her stomach down to her core. A leak of cum.

Wan released more of her scent. Maewnam sighed into her mouth, taking it in with a big inhale through her nose. Maewnam answered her call. Jasmine and orange filled up her lungs—her chest.

Small hands wrapped around her wrist, guiding her toward the growing boner in between Maewnam’s legs. She spread her legs wider, pushing herself closer. “I’m yours, Khun Wan.”

Maewnam guided her hand to rub against her cock. She shuddered underneath her touch. Wan grabbed it, pulling it through the loose shorts. Her hands traveled up and down as it grew hot against her hand.

“Faster,” Maewnam whispered against her lips. Wan kissed her. Finally. Through soft touches and breathless moans, she finally kissed her again. Wan moaned into her mouth when their tongues touched. 

She stroked her dick faster. The tip of it rubbed against her palm before she let her fingers run along her length. “Like that,” Maewnam grunted into her mouth.

Wan looked down. She shoved her hand into her shorts, pulling it out of her boxers. She ran her hand down the length, making sure to let the curve fall into her palms perfectly. She bit her lip, stopping a moan that traveled down to her pussy. Wet.

Maewnam jumped off. Wan took a couple steps back. She blinked, almost asking why but Maewnam beat her to it. She pulled her clothes to her knees and pushed Wan against the table. The food shook.

“Khun Wan.” Maewnam turned her around, letting her hands glide up and down Wan’s back. She traced a heart against the back of her neck. “Khun Wan, are you mine?”

She pulled down Wan’s long skirt down to her ankles. Her underwear moved to the side as she slipped a finger inside of her. “Tell me. Tell me you’re mine, please.”

Wan held onto the table. Her nails dug into the bottom of it. Maewnam replaced her fingers with the tip of her dick. “Khun Wan, you’re mine.”

Wan gasped and nodded. The side of her face flat against the wood. “I’m yours. I’m yours. Maew—Ah!” Wan moaned when Maewnam slipped her entire cock inside of her. The walls wrapped around it like a habit. Maewnam found the right spot quicker and sooner than the first.

Wan whimpered as they shook the table. The broth spilled, yet all she could smell was jasmine and orange. Maewnam wrapped it around her. She made it trapped inside of her every pore as she fucked her.

Maewnam’s hands shook against the back of her neck. Her fingers unsure where to rest or hold as she continued to touch her glands. A burning pain at such a delicate touch while her insides were getting twisted by the curve of Maewnam’s dick.

“Call me Sudteerak. Tell me you’re Sudteerak’s.” Maewnam adjusted herself to thrust harder and deeper. Wan cried. She covered her mouth and moaned, screamed and all she could do as pleasure spread through every limb. Her legs suddenly too weak to even withhold how fast the younger woman was going in and out of her.

Maewnam stopped. She kissed the back of Wan’s neck. “Sudteerak is waiting.”

Wan turned her head. Maewnam kissed her, still inside of her and pulsing. She pulled away. “Sudteerak.” Maewnam’s dick twitched inside of her. “I’m yours, Sudteerak.”

Maewnam moved an inch inside of her. Her hands held her waist. She moaned, echoing in the room. Wan’s breathless, jaw dropped. Maewnam came inside of her.

Wan looked back, but Maewnam doesn’t stop. She continued to go in and out of her while her chest heaved. The sweat against her hairline fell down her cheek. Wan whimpered.

“Mine.” Maewnam scratched her stomach. Wan gasped.

“Maewnam!” Wan bent herself over. She swallowed. Holding in her breath at the waves of pleasure so close to wash over. Maewnam slowed for a couple of thrusts before continuing.

Wan arched her back, bending over. Her legs wobbled as she came. Maewnam kissed her back. “I like being yours,” Maewnam whispered. Her lips trailed up to her glands covered in coconut and rum. Maewnam licked it. Her breath shaky against her skin.

Wan looked back. The aching pain where Maewnam licked pulsed and reminded her how she has been unmarked for her whole life. She has waited and hoped it was someone, but Maewnam must be the one. The words almost slipped through her mouth, but she bit her lip.

She moved them, pulling herself away. She sat on the table as her underwear rolled in its place, covering the cold wetness. She traced Maewnam’s jawline, stopping at her chin to make her look up at her. “I have something to tell you.”

Maewnam raised an eyebrow.

Wan leaned over, ghosting her lips against Maewnam’s. “You did good.”

Maewnam smiled and kissed her.

Maewnam wiped the table as Wan put the noodles into the cool broth. A hint of warmth still there, but it wasn’t going to be as good as it would have been thirty minutes ago.

“Look at the mess you made,” Wan said. She pushed the styrofoam cup of Maewnam’s noodles. Maewnam grinned and broke her chopsticks apart. Wan rolled her eyes at how proud she looked. She shouldn’t have said that.

Maewnam started eating, squeezing a lime into the broth. “I made a better mess inside of you.”

Wan choked on the noodles, going through the wrong pipe. She pounded her chest and drank the plastic up of water.

Maewnam’s cheeks puffed even higher with a prouder grin. Wan pushed her forehead away. “Don’t say that when we’re eating.”

“Well…” Maewnam chewed. “It’s true.”

“Maewnam.”

“Sudteerak.”

“No.”

Maewnam pouted. Her chewing slowed down. Each smack louder as her mouth opened to eat. Wan glared at her.

“Do you want to go to the aquarium Saturday?”

Wan shrugged. “I don’t think Manmuk would want me to go on another appointment.”

Maewnam stirred her noodles. Wan swallowed the last bit of food.

“I don’t love her anymore.”

Maewnam looked up.

Wan left her chopsticks inside of the cup. She crossed her arms against her chest. “I haven’t felt love for her in a long time now.”

“Why are you with her?”

Wan licked her lips. She tilted her head. That was a simple question with a complicated answer.

“Comfort?”

Maewnam scooted her chair closer and hugged Wan’s arm. “I could give you comfort, Khun Wan!”

Wan shook her head. “Not that kind of comfort…I’ve dated her for so long, it’s kind of a routine. Dating her makes me…” Wan blinked. She stared at the beansprouts. Her dad used to love beansprouts in his pho, always asking for hers. “Makes me feel like my dad is still alive.”

Maewnam hummed and nodded. “I understand.”

“You do?”

Maewnam nodded and smiled. She leaned closer, resting her chin on Wan’s arm. “You don’t want more of your life to change because change makes you feel like you have to accept your dad isn’t here with you.”

Wan furrow her eyebrows. “That’s the smartest thing I’ve heard from you.”

“Hey!” Maewnam pushed Wan away. “That’s mean.”

Wan smiled and grabbed Maewnam’s hand in the air to grab her chopstick. She intertwined their fingers together. “Saturday?”

Maewnam’s eyes twinkled. “Really?”

Wan nodded. Maewnam’s smile grew wider.

“No appointment.” Maewnam stuck her tongue out the corner of her lips. “Just as Maewnam and Khun Wan. Not client and provider.”

“Okay.”

“Deal?” Maewnam pouted and raised her pinky finger. Wan laughed and wrapped her pinky around it.

“Deal.”

Chapter Text

Wan escaped out of the apartment. Manmuk was still asleep on their bed. A message on her phone saying Wan was going to go out for the day. She didn’t need to say with who. She didn’t need to say where. She just wanted Manmuk to know she was going to be out for today.

Just today. Wan sometimes wished it was for the rest of her life.

She walked inside of the mall, following the signs to go to the aquarium. Taking the escalator down, she spotted Maewnam in a white dress. A black bow at her her chest. She was staring at the fish tanks at the entrance. Her hands held behind her back as she bent down for the fishes to dash away from the sight of her face. Wan smiled and quietly walked toward her.

Maewnam pouted and put her finger in front of glass. A few fishes came by probably thinking she was going to feed them.

“Maewnam,” Wan said. Maewnam stood up straight and looked up with a tilt of her head. Her smile as radiant as Wan remembered, yet she never really forgot Maewnam’s smile.

“Khun Wan, you made it.” Maewnam held her hand. “You look beautiful.”

Wan looked down at her white off shoulder shirt and black pants.

Maewnam interlaced their fingers together. “Well…” She licked her lips and bit her tongue. “Khun Wan looks beautiful every day.”

“You don’t see me every day.”

“I don’t have to!” Maewnam pulled her closer as they lined up behind three couples and a family of four. She rested her chin against Wan’s arms and looked up. “No matter how you look, you’re beautiful.”

Wan rolled her eyes, ignoring the tickling burn against her cheeks. She rubbed them against her shoulder, but the heat only spread down her neck. She let go of Maewnam’s hand, afraid the fire inside of her would cause sweat between their hands.

Maewnam doesn’t hold her hand again. She paid for the tickets and they talked in through.

“Khun Wan, you can tell me if you don’t want me to do something. I know you’re still with your girlfriend. I have no right…” Maewnam looked down as they slowly walked through the blue tinted room of jellyfishes. They stopped at one display while the rest of the people that were in line with them have already moved on.

Wan held onto the straps of her purse. “I’m not uncomfortable, Maewnam.”

“What do you think about me?” Maewnam bit her lip. Wan stared at her reflection against the glass as the jellyfishes float around in the still water. Particles flew in the direction they swam. Long stingers float around the water like shooting stars that could control where they fall.

Wan continued to stare, hoping Maewnam would look at her too through their reflection. Maewnam moved to the next display. Wan held her wrist so they could face each other in between the two displays.

“What about you are you asking?” Wan asked.

“Wanting you to be mine knowing you have a girlfriend. What does that make me, Khun Wan?”

Wan glanced at her lips. She rolled her tongue inside her cheek.

“Someone better than me.”

Maewnam blinked. Wan dragged her to another display. They quietly watched. She felt Maewnam’s eyes on her.

“I have a girlfriend, and I let myself fall for you.”

Maewnam’s lips lifted into a smile, small and heavier on one side than the other. “You fell for me?”

Wan walked away to another display. She needed to remind herself she should be careful of her choice of words around Maewnam. Really, around everyone. She glared at the glass of deep sea creatures. The text on the box hard to read, and she didn’t really care what they were.

A distraction from the the person grinning beside her. An expression clearly seen against the glass. She glared at Maewnam.

“Maewnam.”

“Yes?”

“Stop grinning.”

Maewnam whined. She followed Wan to the next exhibit that had brighter lighting. “How can I stop smiling around you?”

Wan looked at her lips. “I can think of a few ways.”

“Will you show me?”

Wan pinched her lips together. Maewnam’s eyes widened as her words muffled. Wan already knew she was complaining. She let her go. “That worked.”

“That hurt.”

“Baby.”

Maewnam smiled again. “I’m your baby?”

Wan sighed, unknowingly smiling as she walked around the aquarium of salt water fishes. Maewnam pointed at a little crab hiding. Her fingers pinching together as she raised her hands closer to Wan’s face.

“Crab. Just like Khun Wan who pinches people’s lips.” Maewnam pouted.

“Only yours.”

“Because you like me?” Maewnam tiptoed. Wan held in her breath, the scent of jasmine and oranges faint at how close they were. She swallowed. Hard. It hit the bottom of her chest. She looked away. The heat of desire and emotions she didn’t want to admit at the back of her neck.

Wan turned back around, running away from answering.

Wan and Maewnam sat down inside the tunnel. Small fishes swam by. A stingray across from them. A small shark swam above it. School of fishes right above them. Maewnam marveled in the sight with twinkling eyes. Wan couldn’t help but stare at her instead.

Maewnam settled into the seat and the curve of the acrylic behind them. “This was my favorite part,” Maewnam said.

Wan glanced around, always coming back to Maewnam’s face.

“I would sit in between my mom and dad. They talked nicely to each other here. It was nice.”

“At home? They didn’t talk nice?”

Maewnam shook her head and inhaled. A long exhale as she continued to stare in front of them. “They yelled a lot when my mom was home. My dad didn’t work.”

“Who do you think was in the right?”

“They could be both wrong. They just weren’t a match.”

Wan held her hand. Maewnam’s hand twitched underneath her hold before holding it tighter. “My mom likes to have her hair down. She doesn’t want people to see she has two mate marks.”

Wan heart settled into her throat. A slow kind of thump. A gentle knock against her chest. Maewnam’s eyes met hers. And her heart stopped for a second or two, missing beats that didn’t matter because they were all given to Maewnam at the palm of her hands.

Inside of her heart, Maewnam roamed around like it was her home.

“Khun Wan, I like you.” Maewnam took a deep breath. The blue hues of the tank above them glowed against her skin. She scooted closer. Her other hand reached toward her neck. Warm fingers tickled against the back of her neck.

Their faces close but not close enough. Wan wanted to be closer. She wanted to kiss her. She wanted her tongue to taste the back of her mouth, letting the jasmine and orange intoxicate every sane thought she could have.

“If you ever let me…” Maewnam swallowed. “I want my mark to be the only mark you’ll ever need.”

Wan held onto her hand tighter, afraid if she doesn’t hold onto Maewnam, she’ll disappear. She nodded. A yes to something—to everything. Wan doesn’t quite know, but it’s a yes: she wanted Maewnam just as much.

Maewnam grabbed a whale plushie. It was blue and fat. Wan raised an eyebrow. “You’re getting that?”

“Yeah!” Maewnam went over to the cashier. “This is the last plush I need to finish my aquarium plush collection.”

“You have a plush collection?”

Maewnam nodded. She hugged the whale as they walked out of the store. Wan laughed and shook her head.

“Don’t laugh at me, Khun Wan.”

“You’re such a kid.”

Maewnam pouted. Her cheeks squished against the plush as she looked at her. “Khun Wan, what’s your happy place?”

Wan tilted her head. “Happy place?”

“Mhmm.”

Wan pictured her dad in the little space of the grocery store. His laughter would reach the corners where she would have to dust as he talked to customers. Familiar faces that she hasn’t seen in ages. Her little room where she would take Manmuk during her rare college visits.

“I can show you,” Wan said.

Maewnam got out of Wan’s car and looked around. “Khun Wan.”

“Hm?”

“This is the same place I told you about.”

“What place?” Wan looked for the keys to open the store.

“The place I help around in.” Maewnam looked up at the building of Wan’s dad’s old grocery store. “They’re scared of coming near this building.”

“Why?” Wan opened it up. The musky scent of old wood that hasn’t been cleaned. The dust collected on the shelves and tables slightly flew with the motion of the gates and doors sliding open. Wan waved her hand around and looked around.

Well, she couldn’t blame them.

No products put on the shelves. All the colors her dad brought into the small little room was taken with him. The old products thrown away after his funeral. New products were given away to a community she wasn’t familiar with, yet they smiled at her with her name drawn out of their lips as if years weren’t in between them.

“They’re afraid it’s haunted.” Maewnam’s head moved around more than Wan’s. Her lips parted to take it in silence. Her eyes always wandering in curiosity—instead of the wandering eyes in the bedroom full of hunger and astonishment.

Wan crossed her arms against her chest. “Do you think it is?”

“Of course not.” Maewnam faced her. “So…why does this place make you happy, Khun Wan?”

“It’s my home.” Wan licked her lips, the words unfamiliar. She hasn’t been home in years. She hasn’t slept in her bed since before her dad died. 

“Comfortable?”

“Maybe if I stay a little longer to get used to it without my dad.”

Thunder started cackling in the sky. A pour of rain started to flood the streets. A pothole nearby slowly filled up with the droplets. Wan locked the place up.

“How does a sleepover sound?” Wan asked, turning around. Maewnam was already smiling, biting her bottom lip. She nodded and jumped around to find the way to the house.

Wan took out her phone to text Manmuk she was staying at her dad’s place since it was storming.

Maewnam pointed at the plushies on her bed. “Khun Wan, you have a collection too! You were laughing at me.”

Wan sat down on her bed. “These were when I was kid. You’re an adult.”

“Adults can have hobbies.”

“What’s yours?” Wan moved so Maewnam could sit with her. Maewnam took the invitation. They both sat criss-cross facing each other. 

Maewnam grabbed the whale plush that was the exact same to the one she bought. She had left it inside the car.

“I like making small plushies.” Maewnam played with the tail. “I hope one day I can make big ones in the future. I’ll make a big, biiiig,” Maewnam spread her arms open. “Seal for you, Khun Wan.”

Wan laughed. “What am I going to do with it?”

“So when you miss me, you can hug it,” Maewnam chirped.

“Or I could punch it when you’re not around.”

“Whatever makes you happy, Khun Wan.” Maewnam hugged the whale. 

Wan leaned back on her hands to look at all of the woman in front of her. Brown hair fell against the white fabric. Her dress hugged her waist. Her collarbones peaked out, the taste of it burned against Wan’s lips. Her legs folded in front of a the place she has too many dreams about.

She tilted her head, letting this image seep into every crevice of her brain. Maewnam wasn’t a place; she wasn’t a thing; but she made her happy. 

Maewnam fixed her hair. She looked at herself. “Is there something wrong?”

Wan shook her head. “You’re beautiful.”

Maewnam set the whale aside. Every movement caught. The color of her cheeks turned pink. Wan drank it in.

“I really like you, Khun Wan…” Maewnam’s voice shaky and soft. Wan sat up straight. Her arms reach forward to hold onto Maewnam’s waist. The sound of her room never felt so light and clear. She hasn’t been able to hear Maewnam’s little squeak that didn’t make her second guess if it was her or not.

Maewnam climbed on top of Wan’s lap with the help of her lifting her up, leading her closer. Closer. Wan wanted her even closer. She pulled her in with Maewnam’s strands of hair tickling her cheeks. The word “beautiful” stuck at the tip of her tongue because Maewnam brightened her room.

Her dad took the colors of the grocery store. Maewnam colored it back in a different light. Wan muttered something underneath her breath.

“What about you? How do you feel?” Maewnan softly spoke. Wan should be used to Maewnam on top of her. The view from below as her hair draped on both of them. Wan held her waist tighter, pulling her in so her stomach was pressed right against Maewnam.

Maewnam’s lips parted, heavily breathing.

“I don’t know,” Wan said. There was still guilt after every time they meet. Even if it were a little hi, if it were her being filled up to brim with Maewnam’s semen, Wan would come back to Manmuk with a little sting in her heart. There would be oceans of guilt washed inside of her stomach.

She still cared for her girlfriend.

Maewnam leaned down. Their foreheads touched, rested. The waves calmed inside of Wan. The lights inside of her heart on once again because Maewnam has resided. A gentle rub of Maewnam’s thumb against her cheek. Her other hand rested on the side of her neck—a place Wan has gotten used to being held.

“That’s okay.” Maewnam whispered. She tilted her head. Wan followed. “I just want you to know I’m here.”

Wan kissed her first. She tilted her head even more to taste the angles she hasn’t yet. Their lips part, loud sighs and they dived back into feelings they knew yet knew nothing about.

Maewnam pulled away first. Wan pulled her in closer, pressing her hands into her back. Their noses brushed.

“Maewnam,” Wan said. Her eyes closed, afraid to fall any deeper than she should have—deeper than she wanted to. “I didn’t lie. You have me. I’m yours.”

Maewnam smiled against her lips as they brush against each other. She kissed her. Short and sweet. “That’s enough for me right now.”

Wan hugged her. Maewnam stroked her hair. “Should we sleep?” Maewnam asked.

She didn’t want this day to end. She didn’t want to go back to Manmuk. But the warmth in Maewnam’s arms lulled her so easily. Her eyes already shut with her ears against the alpha’s chest. Listening.

If only she could sleep next to Maewnam every night and wake up to her every day, she wouldn’t have to worry when the day would end.

Chapter Text

The door of the apartment room slammed shut. Wan ran both hands through her hair as she sat back down on the couch. Manmuk’s laptop still open on the coffee table with an excel sheet of all the financial information of her clients. Finance. It was never an issue between then. It was always something else.

Wan pressed her hands into her eyes. No tears. She hasn’t cried because of Manmuk in so long. She hasn’t cared…She hasn’t cared enough while her girlfriend leaves this apartment room with tear stains against her cheeks.

“You won’t even let me hug you anymore!” Manmuk shouted. Wan breathed. Breathe, she had to remind herself because if she held it any longer, she might explode. She might do something irrational. Not now. Manmuk was already driven over the edge.

“I’m sorry. I don’t want to be touched.”

“Why? Is it because you’ve been a whore with the other alpha?”

“You were the one that wanted me to be a whore. You can’t use that against me.” Wan clenched her jaw. Her teeth slightly grind. The ache in her head louder and heavier. She didn’t want to have this many arguments with Manmuk. She didn’t want them, but she knew they needed them.

A little bit more.

Manmuk scoffed. She laughed, dry and sharp. Wan’s heart sliced. It wasn’t like she was hurt with Manmuk’s behavior. She couldn’t believe they changed so much over the years, they longer should be in each other’s lives.

“You said sex is sex. Why does it sound like you’re in love with her? You don’t let me hug you. You don’t let me kiss you. You don’t let me fuck you. What next? You won’t let me breathe next to you?”

“We should break up.”

A little bit more and maybe they would.

Manmuk held her wrists and pulled her against her chest. Her eyes written in fear as if life might disappear in front of her eyes. Wan shouldn’t be Manmuk’s life. She shouldn’t be her reason to live because she had so much more in her.

“No.” Manmuk squeezed her wrist and hugged her. Wan doesn’t push her away like before. She doesn’t walk away from the hold. “My future is you, Wan. I’ve spent my entire life to be with you. Don’t let it go to waste.”

And if Manmuk knew that Wan has imagined her life without her far longer than this arrangement with Maewnam happened, how much would it break her heart? Would it really end her life?

Maybe Wan was to blame. She didn’t end this soon enough. She didn’t let go sooner. The tighter they hold, the more the marks would leave its marks.

She went into the room and shut it behind her. They haven’t been sleeping on the same bed. Every night there was something to be mad about: the rice was too cold, the water was too warm, the shower took too long to warm up, Manmuk’s head hurts from staring at her screen or Wan slept earlier than she usually does because she would stay in bed wishing Maewnam would be there instead.

She hasn’t seen her in a month. No appointments needed. No other reason to seek out for the girl besides her greed. She didn’t want Maewnam to be tired of her. 

In the dark room without no one but herself, Wan hasn’t felt so lonely. She always had Manmuk. Now…even if she had her, she didn’t want her.

Something about that makes her hate herself a little too.

An hour passed by. Wan still couldn’t sleep. The door opened and closed. A click and another of the lock broke through the silence. Manmuk never came back into the room—as expected.

Wan breathed.

There were still little parts of why she fell for Manmuk. Manmuk always did let her be comfortable first—always making sure she was well slept. Like now: instead of kicking her out of the bed, Manmuk made herself sleep on the couch. It’s been like that the past few weeks. Until when will it be forever? Until when will Wan will be with Maewnam instead?

Maybe Wan should have said, “Let’s break up.” Instead of suggesting it. She should have done it. Rip off the bandaid. Nothing could fix this when it too broken.

Noey handed her a cup of coffee. “Just break up with her, Wan.”

“It’s not that easy.”

Noey rolled her eyes and settled into her seat. A piece of bread already in her hand as she chewed. “Three words.”

“I live with her.”

“Come live with me.” Noey nodded. Wan pursed her lips. Noey would get tired of her way too easily. She couldn’t lose another person in her life.

Wan shook her head. “No.”

“It’s good you’re thinking of breaking up with her though.” Noey drank her coffee. Their eyes met. Something soft in Noey’s eyes like she has seen every flaw in their relationship unfold. “She only treats you worse and worse the longer you stay.”

Wan finally drank the coffee in her hand. The warmth fell from her throat to her chest. The familiar feeling of what Maewnam gives her.

“I’m not going home today,” Wan decided. “I’m going to Propagate Gold.”

“Without an appointment?”

“I can wait. I can sleep there. Anywhere but with Manmuk near.”

“You really hate her.” Noey raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t hate her.” Wan doesn’t know if she could ever learn to hate everything about Manmuk. There were too many memories—too many reasons that remain to love her.

Wan sat on the cushioned chairs as the call to Maewnam was made.

“Hello, Khun Maewnam, your client is here wanting to see you.”

There was a pause.

“Yes. I’ll let her know then. Goodbye.”

The phone was put back down. “Khun Thantara, Maewnam is on her way. Thank you for waiting.”

Wan nodded. The arch way of Alphas clear from her view. There was a want—a need—to walk toward it and go straight to the last door. A habit that still hasn’t fully settled in.

Yet the longer she sat there, she realized: she didn’t want this building to be a home. Going to the last door of a big building to see Maewnam wasn’t a dream. She wanted to go everywhere with the younger woman.

One room was such a tiny world when she could show Maewnam more.

“Hi, Khun Wan.” Maewnam stood in front of her in gray sweatpants and a tank top. “I came as soon as I can.”

“I could see that.”

Maewnam grinned. She pointed back at the rooms with her thumb. “Should we go?”

Wan shook her head. “I want to go somewhere else.”

Maewnam tilted her head. Wan doesn’t answer the unsaid question. She grabbed her hand instead and walked out of the building. From warm, cozy lights to bright ones, they all got lost behind them. 

Wan looked over her shoulder. Maewnam was already staring up at her with a smile. And the world stopped for a moment. The lights behind them blurred, the sound of cars passing by went quiet, and Maewnam’s face lit up their little world they’re slowly turning bigger.

Wan didn’t really have a plan. She figured Maewnam already knew with the way they walked around aimlessly along the streets. Mall after mall. Tuktuks parked on the street because this was rush hour, and people wanted to go home even on a rocky ride.

“Ice cream!” Maewnam pointed at a little cart strolling along the busy streets of smaller businesses. Tables set up in front of a building with people already seated looking through a menu.

Maewnam dragged her to the cart. She grabbed a pink one and Wan grabbed a white one. Maewnam searched her pockets before looking at Wan with a tiny giggle. “I forgot my wallet…”

Wan grabbed her wallet from her purse and grabbed coins to pay for the ice creams. Maewnam grinned and thanked the vendor.

“What are your plans for today, Khun Wan?” Maewnam sucked onto her ice cream. Wan hasn’t even unwrapped hers yet. “Should we walk until we reach another country?”

Wan bit her ice cream. “Do you have iron feet?”

Maewnam laughed. “I can walk as long as I need to if you’re always next to me.”

“I’m not going to be walking that long.”

“Why did you come by today?” Maewnam glanced at her. “You could have made an appointment first.”

“I didn’t want to make one.”

“Did you miss me?” Maewnam tilted toward her.

“Yes.”

Maewnam stopped walking. “What?”

“Nothing.” Wan continued walking, biting her ice cream.

“What? Say you miss me, Khun Wan. I missed you too!”

“I know.”

“I told my daughter about you.”

“What?” Wan stopped. Maewnam bumped into her. “You’re that close to your daughter?”

“Well…” Maewnam shrugged. “I help her mom out every time I go back to your little town. She’s very talkative.”

Wan clicked her tongue. “I know where she got that from.”

Maewnam grinned and continued to eat her ice cream. “I told her your dad’s grocery store isn’t haunted. And the owner is very beautiful.”

Wan finished her ice cream. She was getting tired of walking too since the streets were busy with students and workers trying to get to stores. She looked up and found a hotel around the block.

“Do you want to do anything?” Wan asked.

“I want to be with you.”

Wan rolled her eyes. “Let’s go get a hotel room.”

“To…?” Maewnam lifted her eyebrow. Wan didn’t really think about having sex, but she was thinking about it now.

Wan dropped herself onto the bed after checking in. Maewnam went over to the window to look down at the city. She propped herself onto her side and elbow, staring at Maewnam’s arms. The curves of her muscles at her triceps and the slight bump of her biceps poked through as she lifted up the curtain away. Her back curved with her small waist Wan wanted to squeeze.

She smiled at the sound of Maewnam being amazed at the view they had.

Maewnam turned around. Wan patted the bed so she could join her. Maewnam sat down and fixed Wan’s hair. “Are you tired?” Maewnam asked.

Wan shook her head. She held onto Maewnam’s hand and pressed it against her lips. “I was tired of walking.”

Wan’s phone started to ring. The familiar tune was all Wan needed to know who it was that was calling her. She grabbed her phone on the bedside table and put her phone on silent. No vibrations. No distractions.

Maewnam bit her lip. “Are you and your girlfriend fighting?”

“Kind of.”

“Is that why you’re here with me?”

Wan shook her head and held her hand again. “I’m here with you because I want to be.” She looked up. “I missed you too, Maewnam.”

Maewnam kissed her cheek. Wan pulled away. Maewnam kissed her cheek again, her smile pressed into her skin. “I have an idea.”

“Hm?”

Maewnam got up and grabbed her phone. She started to play songs through her phone’s speakers. She pulled Wan off the bed and started dancing. Wan laughed and shook her head.

“No way, Maewnam. I don’t dance.”

“C’mon, Khun Wan!” Maewnam wrapped her arms around her neck. Wan held her waist. Her fingertips instinctively dug into her back, holding onto her tighter. Maewnam’s hands locked at the back of her neck. A sting of heat rushed down her body simply at her touch.

Maewnam tilted her head forward. Wan followed to press their foreheads together. Their footsteps slow and going in an easy motion of left and right. Their bodies turn with each step as the music played inside of the room they weren’t confided in.

How free to leave and stay whenever they wanted.

Wan brushed their noses. Maewnam’s giggle almost silent. She nodded. “See. Dancing is easy.”

“This is hardly dancing.” Wan leaned back.

Maewnam’s hands slid off her shoulders. Wan held her hand. Maewnam laughed and twirled underneath Wan’s control.

Maewnam bumped into the bed. Wan tried to pull her up, but their bodies twisted and turned. She fell on the bed first. Maewnam fell on top of her.

Her grin still present. Wan’s hands reached out in wonder or in fear. They shook and fixed Maewnam’s hair against her cheek. She let her finger rub against her cheek, brushing against the freckles. She poked the mole on her nose, dragging it down to her lips.

And even with the choice to leave, Wan wanted to stay. Just like this. She wanted it.

“Maewnam,” Wan whispered. Maewnam’s eyelashes fluttered. The weight on top of Wan wasn’t enough. She wanted to be kept underneath Maewnam, have a sinking place of where her body was so they could become one.

Wan licked her lips. She held Maewnam’s face and pulled herself up to kiss her. Maewnam pushed herself the second their lips touched. Wan released their lips to look at the pretty stars in Maewnam’s eyes—to see how she looked among the stars.

“I like you too.” Wan gasped at the words that came out of her. Maewnam’s eyes lit up. Instead of a night sky, she became the sun. She became the reason the world could work—why the earth spun.

“I think it’s more than liking you,” Wan admitted. To herself or to the world or to Maewnam, she admitted there was more than a little attraction. 

Maewnam fell into her. Their lips crashed to taste the mess their hearts had guided them to. Wan breathed into her mouth. Maewnam made a small sound of pleasure as their tongues slid against each other. Lip after lip, their mouths endlessly touch each other. 

The alpha on top of her moved her hips. Their chests waved against each other at the lack of oxygen—at the lack of friction. Maewnam gripped onto Wan’s shoulder, lowering herself to kiss her neck.

Wan’s hands lost into her hair, pulling her closer. Maewnam whispered her name, chanting it as if it would be their saving grace when they knew they both were stuck in this feeling. There was nowhere else Wan wanted to be.

Maewnam rolled her hips. Slow. Heavy. Wan arched her back. Maewnam’s warm, wet breath left against her skin. She dug herself into Wan’s crotch. Wan’s legs spread open to allow her to fit in.

“Khun Wan…” Maewnam whimpered. Wan held her face and kissed her again. Their eyes shut during the process. A messy kiss that drooled all over their chin and cheek, but their tongues continue to find their ways to greet each other.

Maewnam’s bulge harder and harder. She started to thrust. Each movement, she breathed deeply through her nose. Their moans broken and soft inside of each other’s mouths.

Their kissing stopped. All they could utter was the sound of each other’s names. They hugged each other tightly. Maewnam’s whole body pressed into Wan’s. Her hands still dug into her shoulders while Wan’s hands clung onto her back.

Their hips moved up and down. Maewnam moved side to side, slipping her bulge deeper into Wan’s wetness. 

“So good,” Wan whispered into her ear. Maewnam whimpered in return. “Sudteerak.” Wan nibbled her ear.

Wan gasped. Her hand grasped Maewnam’s ass, pulling her closer as she found herself releasing all that has built up. Her underwear drenched.

Maewnam pushed herself up, humping Wan. Wan’s walls clench. She could come again. She pulled Maewnam down to kiss her.

Maewnam moaned into her mouth. Her body heavy as her hips rolled in circles, letting herself release into her garments.

“Good,” Wan whispered against her lips. A quick peck. “Did that feel good?”

“Yes.” Maewnam whimpered, still trying to come back from her release. She hugged Wan. Her face in the crook of her neck. She sighed. Her chest cold and warm from the breath Maewnam took.

Maewnam pressed soft and short kisses against the side of her neck. A shiver down her back.

“Khun Wan.”

“Hm?”

“What I feel for you is more than like too.”

Wan held her closer and stroked her hair. She kind of knew that already.

Chapter Text

Wan sat on the plastic chair, waiting for the results. There were two tests. Her fingers tapped against her jeans. She chewed on her lips as the doctor was still gone to get the results.

One urine test. One blood test. 

The door closed. Footsteps echoed in the room.

“Miss Thantara.” The doctor placed the papers on her desk. “Congratulations. You’re pregnant.”

Wan’s tapping stopped. Her lips released from the bite that almost bled through. Leaning forward, gripping onto the chair. “Really?”

The doctor laughed and nodded. “Yes! Both your tests showed positive.” She turned the papers for Wan to see. She explained what each thing meant, saying she was six weeks pregnant. 

Wan stared at the black texts on the paper. She didn’t think she would ever see these results coming from her. Year after year with a flimsy plastic pregnancy tests from the drug store with only one line to show a negative. She was here.

Her hand hovered over her stomach. A little spark inside of her heart. She almost thought of Manmuk. She almost reached out her phone to tell her girlfriend.

“What does this mean for me and Maewnam?” Wan asked. The first person she thought of hearing this: Maewnam. The mother of her child. The person she wanted to spend the rest of her life.

“You can still make appointments with her. If you want to make sure you’re pregnant, you two can still have sexual intercourse. None of it is needed. You can end it now.”

Wan nodded. “Thank you.”

“Thank you for using Propagate Gold, Miss Thantara. It was a pleasure to help you.”

Wan rang the bell to the last door of the alpha hallway. There was a weak scent of jasmine and oranges from the other side. She squeezed her legs together, already heating up at the way the scent crawled against her skin and haunted her pussy.

She rang the bell again. 

Closing her legs wasn’t doing enough. The pain gnawed her stomach. She needed to be touched. Her body burning up.

She sucked in a breath. The taste of sweet citrus at the back of her throat when she did.

A pulse at the back of her neck. She turned the door knob; she could no longer wait.

The lock of the door turned in between her fingers. She turned around with a flood of alpha pheromones. Floral and sweet. The gland on the back of her neck ached in fever.

Maewnam lay on her bed. Her shirt lifted up to her neck. Her nipples perky. A hand inside of her shorts, moving. “Khun Wan,” Maewnam whimpered. Her eyes closed. Wan didn’t think she knew she was inside of the room too.

Maewnam pulled out her dick from her shorts. She rubbed it faster. A stream of white dripped out from the tip to her hands. Wan walked. Slow steps. The call of Maewnam’s rut created a trance.

Her knee hit the bed.

Maewnam opened her eyes. She stopped, groaning at her hands no longer giving herself pleasure. She sat up straight with wide eyes. “Khun Wan! When did you get here?”

Wan doesn’t say anything. She let her own scent mix with Maewnam’s. A mixture that tasted like a cocktail. Maewnam’s dick twitched as she breathed it in through her nose. Her eyes closed tightly.

She climbed on the bed. In between Maewnan’s legs, Wan pulled her shorts lower. She grabbed her dick, red and slick.

Maewnam whimpered.

“Does it hurt?” Wan whispered against the tip of her dick. She licked it. Maewnam whined. Her hand whipped up to hold Wan’s head, pushing her closer.

Wan listened. She opened her mouth wider, going down until she could no longer breathe. The tip blocked her throat. She sucked, pulling it in and out of her throat. Her hand massaged her balls.

Maewnam squealed. “Khun Wan!” She fell onto the bed. Her hand still on her head as she shoved her closer while bucking her hips. Wan moaned and held her hips down.

She sucked, slurping up and down Maewnam’s dick. Maewnam cried out. “Yes. Yes. Yes!” The louder and louder her voice went as Wan continued to blow her cock.

Wan pulled away and licked her length. Maewnam’s breaths heavy. Each rise of her chest, more of her scent released into the air. It filled up the room. Wan’s own scent lost into the jasmine and oranges.

Maewnam sat up and pulled off her shorts. She gripped Wan’s shoulder and pushed her down. Wan lost in the motion at the sudden roughness. Her head bounced on the mattress while her jeans and underwear were pulled off of her. 

Maewnam doesn’t talk. She doesn’t smile. She made Wan naked in front of her and ran her hand down her chest. She groped her breast and devoured her other boob. 

“You’re so beautiful, Khun Wan.” Maewnam bit her boob. She lowered herself and bit her under boob. Her stomach marked with teeth marks that should be behind her neck.

Maewnam growled and bit harder on her stomach above her hip. She spread open Wan’s legs and rubbed her dick against Wan’s clit. Their thighs slapped as she rubbed them quickly together.

Wan gasped. Fluids released from her. More and more to ruin the side of Maewnam’s dick.

Fingers traced the marks Maewnam had made. She slipped herself inside of Wan. “Maewnam!” Wan arched her back. Maewnam doesn’t stop tracing her marks. She scratched her sides before massaging her boob.

“No one else should mark you,” Maewnam said. She slowed her pace. Her dick halfway out before she shoved it back in, deeply hitting all the sweet spots Wan could feel. She continued thrusting hard and slow. “You’re all mine, Khun Wan.”

Wan came. Fuck, she loved being Maewnam’s.

Maewnam fastened her pace while her walls tighten and release. Her orgasm still ongoing, wrapping Maewnam’s cock with her cum. 

“Yes! I’m yours.”

Maewnam’s posture broke with those words as if it were a truth so heavy it had her falling. Her mouth part to make a sound, but she only choked. Her lips curled into a smile. A small giggle as she came inside of Wan. All the warmth filled her up like how she brought light inside of Wan’s heart.

Her eyes were closed, but they weren’t tightly shut. As if she were relaxed—nothing could stop her from putting more of her inside of Wan.

And Wan watched, accepting all the love Maewnam could give. She sighed. Her hands reached up to rub against Maewnam’s stomach, going as high as she could for the tips of her fingers to feel the beating of her heart.

Maewnam pulled out. Her dick dropped on her stomach, a few drops fell on her skin. Wan stroked it gently.

She caught a drop raising it into her mouth. Maewnam’s eyes were dark. She leaned down and kissed her. There was nothing gentle about this kiss. A hot tongue shoved into her mouth to chase the taste of her own sperm. The musky floral scent with a squeeze of orange entered her lungs as if it were a drug smoked.

Maewnam lay down beside her. Their lips still locked, biting and bruising each other’s lips. Maewnam’s hands clawed onto her bare back. Wan couldn’t breathe. She didn’t want to breathe. She could die like this.

“Maewnam,” Wan called because that would be her last word. Maewnam pulled away to kiss her chin. Wan fixed her hair. Her little ear red. Lower, just a little lower, she grazed the back of her neck.

Maewnam shuddered underneath her touch.

“Maewnam.” Wan didn’t know what else to say. There were things she needed to tell her. Maewnam’s name sounded so good in her voice. The taste of her name just like how she smelled.

Maewnam smiled. Wan leaned and kissed her cheek. A second or two. This was all she really needed: in Maewnam’s arms with her smiling cheeks pressed against her lips.

“How was your appointment today?” Maewnam asked what she was going to say.

Wan stared at her. Her finger continued to play with strands of Maewnam’s hair.

“I’m pregnant.”

“Really?” Maewnam’s smile only grew. A hand placed on her stomach. “Our child!” Maewnam looked down. She pecked Wan’s lip and giggled.

Those words were different. She always imagined Manmuk to say those words.

But she wouldn’t want it any other way.

Wan pulled Maewnam in by the back of her head. Their lips met: softer, quieter and enough time to breathe. Maewnam whimpers inside of her mouth. There were words she wanted to say, but Wan wasn’t ready to hear them yet. So they let their hands explore each other. They let their lips silently say the words written against in their hearts—perhaps engraved on it.

Maewnam whispered Wan’s name. Wan swallowed it. She kissed Maewnam’s cheek and jawline. Her hand reached down to rub Maewnam’s dick once again.

“Sudteerak,” Wan whispered. It was sweeter. The name she was given that no one calls her as often. It had oranges covered coated all over it at the tip of her tongue more than the jasmine. Wan sucked Maewnam’s tongue. “Sudteerak,” she said again.

Maewnam grind into Wan’s hand. 

“If I’m yours,” Wan softly spoke against her lips. Their eyes both closed. Their lips not far apart with every whimper, whisper and sound they create they would touch. “Are you mine?”

Maewnam nodded. She kissed her. Her body slightly on top of Wan. She moaned into her mouth when Wan stroked her cock faster, rubbing the tip with her thumb for a little tease. 

“I’m yours. Everything about me.” Maewnam moaned. She kissed Wan harder. Her hand pressed into her back as she scratched her. “Everything about me is yours.”

Wan hummed, satisfied with the answer. She stroked faster. Maewnam gasped. Wan pulled her back in to lick the roof of her mouth. “Come for me,” Wan said.

Maewnam groped her ass, pushing herself closer to fuck her hands. Her forehead pressed against Wan’s. She whispered how close she was. Wan continued to stroke her dick.

Maewnam’s voice was loud before it went silent. Her face colored in red as she shot all of her cum on Wan’s stomach. 

Wan continued to stroke it slowly, letting it all out. She kissed Maewnam’s lip. “Good girl.”

Maewnam kissed her, moaning. “Don’t say that.”

“Why?”

“I might come again.” Maewnam pouted. Wan laughed and continued the kiss while their limbs tangled with each other. Maewnam’s legs on top of hers. Her leg in between Maewnam. Their arms somehow wrapped each other.

Wan stroked the back of Maewnam’s neck. Slowly she traced her name against her skin. Maewnam’s thumb rubbed against hers.

Noey was right about a lot of things. There was one thing she didn’t believe until now: you’ll know when they’re the right one no matter how long you’ve known them.

Chapter Text

Wan came back home from work. The living space wasn’t occupied with Manmuk even if her laptop remained where it usually rested at. The kitchen lights were on. She took off her shoes and set her purse aside.

“Manmuk?” Manmuk stared at a letter. Wan tilted her head. “What’s that?”

“Your child.” Manmuk crumbled half of it and slammed it on the table. “Abort your child.”

Wan grabbed the crumbled paper. It was a letter meant for her to read. A congratulatory letter of accomplishing getting a child through Propagate Gold. She set it down, lightly.

“Why are you mad? The whole point of me doing this was to get a child.”

“No!” Manmuk pushed the chair and walked up to her. “I made you do this stupid thing to prove you’re the faulty one. Now, abort the child, Wan.”

“No. I don’t want to.”

“It’s my money!” Manmuk poked her shoulder, making her stumble back. “My money, so it’s my child to own. Get rid of it.”

“I thought you wanted a child.” Wan crossed her arms against her chest.

“My child.” Manmuk pointed at herself. “I want it to be mine! That thing is not mine.”

“You just said it was yours.”

“Wan, you know what I mean.”

Wan shook her head. “I don’t want to, Manmuk.”

“We can try again when it’s your fertile week. We can make one of our own.” Manmuk’s voice cracked. All of a sudden, the anger in her eyes soften. The sharpness of her eyes watered to create an illusion that she wasn’t there to hurt Wan. “Please.”

Wan sighed. “We’ve tried for how long, Manmuk? What makes you think it’ll work this time?”

“I’ll make it work!” Manmuk held her hands. “I’ll be with you every day and every night of the month. Just get rid of it.”

“I can’t.” Wan held her stomach. She licked her lips. “I…” She looked up at her girlfriend. “I don’t want to be with you anymore, Manmuk.”

Manmuk grabbed a cup from the table and threw it at the wall next to Wan. Wan curled herself from the impact. Shards of glasses shattered all over the ground. Her heart replicated the action. She didn’t want it to get to this point either.

Tears have already ran down Manmuk’s face. “You can’t! You can’t leave me, Wan!”

Wan’s body shook. Fear, freedom and heartbreak. She couldn’t focus on one. She only knew she needed to leave. She couldn’t stay.

Wan walked away into their room. She grabbed a luggage and all the things she knew she needed. Manmuk followed her with stomping feet. “Wan! Don’t!”

Manmuk pushed her on the bed beside her opened luggage. Wan screamed, afraid Manmuk would do something more. Her eyes shut tightly with her arms flailing to fight back.

Manmuk fell onto her knees and held her hands. “Don’t leave me, Wan. I’m nothing without you. I don’t know how to live without you.” She sucked in a shaky breath as her tears flowed nonstop. “My whole life is you, Wan.”

Wan retracted her hands away.

“We’ll have a child together. We’ll marry and mate. We’ll have the life we’ve always talked about, Wan.” Manmuk hugged her leg. 

Wan zipped up her luggage and stood up. “Mook.” Wan patted her hair. The pictures they’ve taken over the years called out to her on the desk. Each milestone of her 20’s highlighted in every frame with the woman she thought would be her whole life.

She closed her eyes. Her throat tight. Words were hard to say now. All the years she had hidden the falling out finally personified into this moment. She didn’t know how to control how much reality weighed on this decision: to leave everything she thought she knew.

“I don’t want your life to be tied to me,” Wan managed to finally say. Her tears finally let go. She continued to stroke Manmuk’s hair while the poor woman looked up at her with bloodshot eyes.

“I don’t want to be with you only because of guilt. I haven’t loved you the same for a while, Mook.”

Manmuk shook her head and hugged her tighter. “No. No. I can make you fall in love again. I did once.”

Wan wiped her tears away. She pushed her ex away and carried her luggage. The door wide open for her escape. Manmuk doesn’t chase her this time. 

“Wan, I’ll die without you!” Manmuk’s last words before she opened the door to leave a place she won’t be calling home.

Wan could only believe Manmuk wouldn’t kill herself—hoping she didn’t have the ego to prove herself right like she always wanted to do.

Wan sat down on her childhood bed. The scent of Maewnam long gone. And so was the warmth of the alpha.

Her phone rang. She answered. It wasn’t Manmuk. It couldn’t be when she blocked her everywhere.

“Hello?”

“Are you okay?” Noey asked. Wan weakly smiled.

“I’m fine.”

“I saw Manmuk’s story…I blocked her everywhere now.”

Wan quietly chuckled. What would she do without Noey? 

“You’re at your old place,” Noey said. Wan hummed. “I would come over. We could have eaten ice cream and complain about Manmuk.”

Wan laughed. She turned to stare at the whale plush. It did sound nice to hang out with her best friend since high school. She would have liked that.

“But you’re busy working on the defamation case for the company,” Wan sighed.

“You’re so smart.” Noey clicked a pen. “Do you want ice cream? I can get it delivered to you.”

“No. I’m okay. I think a shower and sleep would make me feel better.”

“Wan.”

“Hm?”

“Are you sure about Maewnam?”

Wan grabbed the whale plush and hugged it. “I am.”

“And Wan.”

“What?” Wan laughed.

“You seriously need to try the bread from the shop.”

Wan rolled her eyes even if the smile on her face grew. She and Noey will hang out one day and eat all the things they promised to eat. One day.

“I’m going to shower.”

“Excuses,” Noey muttered.

“Bye.”

“Fine. I’m busy too. Goodbye.” Noey hung up. Wan smiled at her phone screen. She set it down and hugged the whale tighter.

There were no more nights she dreaded, afraid Manmuk would complain about the smallest things. There was going to be no more mornings with Manmuk wrapping her arms around her waist being sweet only to change mood instantly at the sight of a mark that has basically vanished.

There was no more Manmuk greeting her with a smile and a kiss on the cheek. Although, there wasn’t any of those in a long while.

Wan had lost Manmuk—the one she fell in love with—longer than this break up even happened.

She wondered when did Manmuk lose the Wan she fell in love with.

Chapter Text

Wan’s life didn’t change a lot after their break up. 

She went to work, came back to her childhood house, ate dinner and stared at the living space where her dad used to read a book on the couch with the TV playing. There would be a message on her phone from Noey asking her if she was okay, and her answer was always the same: yeah.

There were still pictures of them in her photo album. A night ago, she had looked through them. She deleted most of them except the one with her dad. It was Christmas. There would be a gift or two and too much food to be consumed in a single night. But that photo was different. That photo was the night Manmuk made Christmas feel like what Christmas should: meaningful gifts, stupid little games that made her dad laugh until he cried and a warm hug at night.

The place was quiet. The missing presence of her father was loud.

And Wan knew her dad was gone. Because every thing Manmuk and her had done when he was around, changed after his death.

She had been brushing her teeth at night alone for a while. She would skip songs Manmuk and her used to like listening to on her way to work longer than she could remember.

After her dad died, Christmas was never the same. They’d spend with Manmuk’s parents, and they loved to invite all kinds of people. The warmth of that one memory never being able to be replicated even with Manmuk’s bare skin pressed against her own at the end of the night. Alcohol in their systems with no passion to really tell each other how much they missed being in love.

Changes were good. Wan concluded. Changes were inevitable. Wan knew that.

She pressed her hand against her stomach, wondering if her child would like the life it would enter in—hoping it would accept changes easier than she has.

Maewnam and Wan escaped the room again.

“Sex is a great distraction, Khun Wan. I have a better idea though!” Maewnam suggested. Wan didn’t need a distraction. She needed Maewnam. She wanted her.

So she agreed to leave the room again.

“I didn’t make an appointment with you as a distraction.”

“You broke up with your long term girlfriend. Who wouldn’t need a distraction?”

Wan held her wrist to stop her walking. Maewnam blinked up at her. “I like you. The only person who can break my heart is you.”

Maewnam slowly nodded. She pressed her lips together to hide the smile Wan saw coming. She slid her hand down and held her hand. This was all she knew about—what she was sure. This was the change she knew was better.

“I like you too.” Maewnam continued to walk up to the skytrain. “I have to show the world I like you.”

Wan didn’t like how that sounded.

Maewnam knocked on counter. “Hello! The better mom is here!”

Wan stood behind her, searching the small little shop. A wooden door in the back opened. A big fan placed inside, blowing around the room. An older woman came out and rushed to the counter. “Maewnam, how are you?”

“I have a girlfriend, yai!” Maewnam moved to show Wan standing behind her. Wan widened her eyes and shook her head. The older woman clicked her tongue and swung at Maewnam with the fly swatter.

Maewnam pouted. “Khun Wan, why would you embarrass me like that?”

“I’m not your girlfriend yet.”

“Yet…” Maewnam slapped the counter. “See, yai, yet. She’s my future girlfriend.”

The door opened again with a woman and a child. Maewnam ran passed the counter and knelt down to hug the little girl. “Jupiter, how are you?” Maewnam ruffled her hair.

“Hi,” Jupiter greeted her. Maewnam smiled. The little girl started to point at the mess she made in the corner of the room. Her babbling in words that sound familiar but not coherent.

She looked at her mom, the stranger. “Chip!” She pointed at a bag.

“When did she learn that word?” Maewnam asked.

“What brings you here?” The girl’s mom said.

“Ow…Can I not visit my daughter?”

The woman looked up at Wan. “Hello,” she said.

“Hi.” Wan scooted closer to Maewnam.

“This is my future girlfriend,” Maewnam said and held Wan’s hand. Wan tried to pull away, but Maewnam hugged her arm to trap her next to her. The stranger raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms against her chest.

“She looks like she doesn’t like you.”

Wan gripped her hands. “I like her,” Wan softly said.

“Yep!” Maewnam grinned, proud and brightly. The brown of her hair suddenly so light as it flowed side to side. Her head bobbing in a nod. Dusted pink cheeks that made her eyes warmer. Wan’s own cheeks started to ache, smiling without needing to think to smile.

Maewnam was her thoughts. She was the reason to smile.

“Hmm.” The woman gave her daughter a chip. “When will mommy find someone else?”

“Oh.” Maewnam pointed at the woman. “This is Ob-oom. She was my first client. Jupiter is my daughter.”

“I figured.”

“Isn’t she cute? She got all her good looks from me.”

“Hey,” Ob-oom said. “She got it from me. I’m prettier.”

Maewnam giggled and looked up at Wan. And Wan would have to disagree: Maewnam was the prettiest person she’s ever seen. The kind of pretty: seeing Christmas lights for the first time as a kid on a tree in the middle of a shopping center. The unknown being found, the unimaginable before your eyes, the warmth of lights during cooler nights. She was pretty like seeing the sun again after a storming night of thunder and lightning—the warmth of the sunlight’s touch even if your feet were soaked in a puddle of water. 

They never went back to the room for the night. Wan’s car left in the parking lot. The little gap from the window still there. None of it mattered.

Maewnam looked around the little shop. She hummed. Her feet tip-toed then dropped to her heels only to repeat as she looked at the dusty empty shelves. “Khun Wan, you should open a store.”

“With what time?” Wan sat down.

“Mmm…” Maewnam stopped looking around. “Maybe I should open one.”

“Who’s going to let you?”

“You, of course.” Maewnam sat down on Wan’s lap. Her arm wrapped around Wan’s neck with her side pressed against Wan’s body. “I’ll be your girlfriend, and I’ll make you money.”

Wan shook her head and kissed Maewnam’s cheek. Maewnam turned her head and pointed at her other cheek. Wan did as she was told, laughing against Maewnam’s cheek.

“P’Wan,” Maewnam cupped her face. The name pulled something in her stomach. A gravitation to the woman in her lap—an undeniable desire to live in her arms.

A gentle stroke of her thumb across her cheek. Small palms that her face relaxed in. No tight jaw joints. An ease to breathe because this was life.

Maewnam leaned in. Wan closed her eyes at the touch of Maewnam’s nose brushing against her own. A tilt of Wan’s head; a millimeter forward from Maewnam. Their lips latched.

Wan’s heart overwhelmed with so many things. All she knew was it all was a recipe for something…something like love.

Maewnam pulled away. Wan’s eyes barely open to catch a glimpse of her smile. She leaned back in for another kiss. Maewnam gave it to her like she had given her heart. Wan held it.

“P’Wan,” Maewnam whispered. Wan hummed. “I love you.” 

Maewnam’s thumb continued to stroke her skin. A reminder. A mark. A burn. Maewnam was going to be part of her life. Even after death, the mark of Maewnam would continue to be engraved on her bones or in her ashes or in her soul that traveled to the next life.

Maewnam was Wan’s mate.

Wan kissed her again, a little harder. The motion created a wave—Maewnam almost fell. Wan pulled her in. Her hand on her waist while her other held her thigh. This was her I love you. She couldn’t say it in words yet, but God did she feel it.

It was loud in her heart. It was loud in her gut. It was loud at the back of her neck where coconut and rum was ready to be drunk by the woman in her very arms.

“Wan?” someone from the other side of the world—someone from Wan’s world she no longer was in. They pulled away. Maewnam got off of her. 

“Wan? Please, come back.”

Wan licked her lips—the taste of Maewnam the drive of facing her fears once again. Running away from Manmuk would only get easier and easier.

“Go home, Manmuk.” Wan stood in front of the gates. Manmuk cried an held onto the bars.

“You don’t have to get rid of the child. We can raise it together. Please, come back. We can try for another child afterward.” Manmuk knelt lower and held onto the bars. Her breaths short. She cried louder and started shaking the gate. “Wan!”

Maewnam grabbed Wan and pulled her away from the gates. “Maewnam…” Wan whispered. Maewnam nodded.

“Please, go home. It’s late. You’re disturbing people’s rest,” Maewnam said. The growing tree of oranges and blooming flowers of jasmine started to cover the place. Maewnam emitting her alpha scent, letting it stick to Wan’s pores.

Manmuk stopped crying and shaking. She stared at her. “You’re the other alpha…I know your fucking scent. You’re why she left!”

Wan bit her lip. It was partially true. 

“You have five minutes or I’ll call the police,” Maewnam said. 

Manmuk stared at Wan. Her knees hit the ground. Wan wanted to look away. She didn’t want to see Manmuk in pain either. She held onto Maewnam’s arm.

“Go home, Mook. It’s late.”

Manmuk stared up at her. A flash of younger Manmuk who wanted to go out late at night to watch the stars even though the dormitory had a curfew appeared. Only a flash. Wan’s heart sunk. They’ve grown up—grown apart.

Wan shook her head. With that, her ex got up and dragged her feet to her car.

Maewnam went over to close the doors as well. The key twisted to lock everything. Their eyes met in a weird charge of the room. Would a step forward help or should they stay apart? Wan sucked her bottom lip.

“Do you want to fold laundry with me?” She asked, pointing up to her room.

Maewnam smiled and nodded. “Anything with you, P’Wan.”

Chapter Text

Maewnam stared at the projector screen. The providers under Propagate Gold shown. A click to the next page: Omega Provider half-year report.

“Alphas are known to be less probable to have fertility issues,” the woman at the front started to discuss the reports of her company to the investors. She glanced at Maewnam. A smile. Maewnam doesn’t give it back to her, holding a weight in her heart.

There once was a time Maewnam had smiled at her mother when she was working. Later at dinner, she was told to not smile so much when they were doing business. They were supposed to be stoic. There was a place and time, and Maewnam just seemed to never get it right.

“Omega’s are usually our least profitable section,” her mom continued to say. She clicked to the next page. “However, they are the ones to have the longest clients. Loyal clients. Clients who even pay to get the baby delivered safely.”

Maewnam stared out the window. The city below was always busy. The sky train would pass by every twenty minutes. Maewnam would rather be on that than inside the meeting room listening to this. She would rather go to the little town and have the chance to meet Wan knowing she lived there now.

“As you all know, we have the least amount of beta providers.” Her mom quickly went through their charts. Propagate Gold utilizes betas in other departments: guards, receptionists and doctors. They were the best at not being affected by pheromones or mating tendencies.

She bit her tongue inside of her mouth. She didn’t like thinking of people of just tools to use for her mom’s company. She didn’t like how her mom has taught her people were only stepping stones to get to where she wanted Maewnam to be.

“Alpha providers.” Maewnam’s mom looked at her. “Over the two years we have been established, our top provider has been successful with six clients. It could have been more if they had accepted more clients.”

Maewnam scratched the back of her hand. She knew it was coming.

“Maewnam, my daughter, is the best alpha we have.”

Everyone turned to her. Maewnam politely bowed her head at the attention. The scratch on her hand deeper. 

“Soon, we will be working on IVF labs. She will work as a sperm donor and CFO under Propagate Gold once the labs have been built and insured.”

Maewnam furrow her eyebrows at the news. Her mom didn’t even talk about it with her before announcing it to all these investors. She rolled her tongue against her inner cheek. It was always like this anyway.

Whatever mom said, she has to go with it because who else was going to guide her to a good life?

Maewnam sat down on the dining table. She had been stuck under her mother’s surveillance for a week. One step out of the house, her mom would call her where she was going. At the crack of dawn, she would open her window and swing a rope down to go. Thinking she finally got to leave the house, there would be alarms at the gate telling the whole house she was about to leave.

Maewnam has thought of making a run for it. Only problem: she needed to come back because this was her home.

She chewed the food. Her mom and step-dad quietly ate in front of her. Clicks and clacks of utensils and plates. She drank water, almost excusing herself before her mom started to talk.

“There was a study saying more and more omegas are having issues with their fertility,” she said. She smiled and chewed. Her step-dad turned to her with the same smile he always gave: listening. “It’s a pity. Really.”

Maewnam swallowed hard. The last piece of steak. She doesn’t eat anymore. Her appetite gone.

“Making money off people who can’t help themselves.” Maewnam’s mom chuckled it out. She continued to eat. Her step-dad doesn’t make a sound. He breathed as if words were about to come out, but he doesn’t speak. 

Maewnam sometimes wished he did.

“I’m done eating,” Maewnam said. She stood up and pushed her chair back in to go to her room.

“Maewnam,” her mom called. Maewnam turned around. “Don’t try to leave the house again. We have to go to Propagate Gold tomorrow morning to check the progress of the labs.”

“Yes, mom.” Maewnam turned to go to her room once again.

Wan wouldn’t be at Propagate Gold. She hasn’t asked for an appointment since two weeks ago. She hasn’t called. She hasn’t came by.

Maewnam stared at her phone. They never gave each other their numbers or LINE. She rolled her eyes and fell onto her bed.

Did Wan fall back in love with her girlfriend during this time? Did a child in her stomach mean the end of Wan and Maewnam?

She sat up and started grabbing the clothes from the basket. She neatly folded them on the ground. She aired out one shirt, the scent so different from the detergent Wan used. She looked up. Wan wasn’t there smiling at her.

She frowned and folded the clothes quicker.

Maewnam rushed into the brothel of the clinic. She looked back to check if her mom was following her. Thankfully, she was still talking to construction workers about the new build on the second floor.

“Chompoo, I need to do something illegal,” Maewnam said to the receptionist. Chompoo raised her hands up with glittering nail polish. She scooted her chair out of the desk and got off.

“Do not involve me in your stuff, Maewnam.” Chompoo went to go on a “bathroom break”. Maewnam looked around. The security cameras pointed at her, but she didn’t really care. As long as her mom didn’t catch her, she would be fine.

She scrolled through the computer. She typed Wan’s full name. Her information appeared. She whipped out her phone and typed out her number. Her heart pounded inside of her ear. A time bomb ticking. She held in her breath. Her fingers shaking as she typed the numbers into her contacts.

P’Wan

She moved the mouse to exit, but something had caught her eye. She scrolled through the amount of times Wan has called for an appointment. All the recent calls from the past two weeks have been rejected. She didn’t reject them. She didn’t get any notification of Wan trying to make an appointment.

There was a flush from Chompoo’s bathroom break. She sighed. Closing the tab, she ran away from the desk. A couple steps away from the desk, the door of the place opened. Her mom with the team leaders of the IVF lab came through.

“Maewnam, are you ready to scope the flooring plan?” Her mom asked. Maewnam nodded. Her phone in her hand behind her back. She put it into her pocket and followed her mom.

Chompoo came out of the restroom. She greeted everyone. Maewnam gave her a thumbs up, and Chompoo shook her head.

Maewnam stared at the new contact. Her room dark with little light going through the curtains of her window. She stared at it then at her bright phone screen.

She pressed call. There was a ring.

“Manmuk, I swear if this is you again—“

“Hello, P’Wan.” Maewnam breathed. It worked. She bit her lip and hugged her whale plush. The rest of the plushes against the wall because this was her favorite now.

“Maewnam?”

“It’s me.”

“How’d you get my number?”

Maewnam popped her lips. “Well…” She poked the plushie in her hand. “I may have breached confidentiality…”

“For my number?”

“Yes!” Maewnam pouted. “I’ve been stuck with my mom and her business. I haven’t been able to see you, and I want to talk to you.”

Wan hummed. “Every time I called to make an appointment with you, they said you were busy.”

“Okay, I’ve been busy but never busy for you!”

“Why are you whining?”

“Because I wasn’t the one to reject your appointments.” Maewnam furrow her eyebrow. The wrinkles at her forehead imprinted hard into her skin as she continued to stare at the darkness. Wan shuffled through the phone.

Wan, an omega that had fertility issues. Wan, someone her mom would definitely not like or see the same as herself. Wan, the person Maewnam loved.

“How did my mom find out?” Maewnam whispered.

“What?”

Maewnam shook her head. “Nothing…” She cleared her throat. “I would never reject seeing you, P’Wan.”

“You’re liking the phi.”

“I do like phi.”

Maewnam could already imagine Wan rolling her eyes. She smiled and hugged her plush tighter. She rolled to lay on her side. The phone comfortably resting against her ear.

Her eyes closed. An image of Wan laying beside her. She sighed. “I miss you.”

“You always miss me.”

“Because I do.”

Wan doesn’t say anything for a few seconds. Maewnam was in no rush to end the call. She wasn’t in a rush to get rid of Wan’s voice.

“I miss you too.”

“I know.” Maewnam grinned. “You called to make an appointment a lot.”

“How do you know?”

“Breaching.”

“You’re a horrible business person.”

Maewnam laughed and let go of the whale plush to sleep. “My mom would not like hearing that.”

“I do miss you a lot, Maewnam. Sometimes…” Wan sighed. She doesn’t continue. The silence between them heavy. Maewnam’s stomach curled at the though of what she thought about sometimes. Maewnam thought of a lot of things.

She thought running away to find Wan at her dad’s old grocery store waiting for her. She thought of all the ways she could run into her arms: a kiss, a hug, a push against the desk to leave a mark.

“Sometimes?” Maewnam breathed. Her groin turned hot.

“Sometimes I wish I came back home to you.”

Maewnam lay on her back once again. Her legs spread open, letting the warmth in between her legs grow. Her shirt lifted up. Her hands pushed up to her chest.

“And how do you imagine me on your bed?”

Wan’s breath ran through the line. Maewnam groped her own breast. A pinch of her nipple. She bit her lip to stop a sound. 

“Maewnam,” Wan moaned. Maewnam parted her lips as if she could taste it, as if the way to hear all of it was to devour Wan’s voice. “I imagine you so hard…Fuck.”

Maewnam’s hand slid down her stomach. She grabbed her waist. The ghost of Wan’s hand. She whimpered. Lowering her hands inside of her pants, she rubbed the bulge. 

“I’m hard for you. P’Wan…” Maewnam bucked her hips. “What are you going to do with it?”

“Use your hands, Maewnam.” Wan’s so close to the phone. Maewnam listened. She grabbed it out of her pants. Her hands stroked it up and down. Eyes shut, she could see Wan’s face staring at it with hazy eyes. It twitched in her hand.

Maewnam moaned with her lips tight.

“Good girl.” Wan sucked in a breath. “Faster, Maewnam.” Wan moaned.

The image of Wan arching her back and her thrown back flashed. Maewnam listened. She fucked herself faster. Her cock bigger and hotter inside of her hand. She rubbed the tip, thinking it would be Wan’s tongue.

“Can I be inside you, P’Wan? Please.” Maewnam thrusted into her hand—into the air. She squeezed the bottom. Her balls hard at the base of her hands. 

“Yes!” Wan whimpered. “Yes, please! Come inside of me.”

Maewnam moaned. Her hands slowed down, going up and down her length in harsh runs. She cursed underneath her breath. “Curl your fingers, P’Wan. Wrap your walls around me.”

Wan groaned with her chest. It was long and low. Maewnam went back to fucking herself faster.

“Sudteerak!” Wan coughed up. Maewnam threw her head back into her pillows. The sound was closest to ecstasy—the perfection of what heighten Maewnam’s every nerve. She leaked out some cum. It wasn’t enough. It wasn’t all. She had so much left.

Maewnam moaned Wan’s name. “Let me hear how wet you are. I’m so close…”

Maewnam gripped her phone tightly. Wan rubbed her clit to the microphone. Wet. Slick. Ready to be eaten. Maewnam licked her lip. 

Wan rubbed herself faster. The sounds in a rush. Wetter. Maewnam let go of her cock. “P’Wan, I’m coming!”

White, hot streams landed on her stomach. Maewnam gasped. Her dick twitched, letting out more drops on her skin. 

Maewnam finally breathed. A full breath. She laughed and grabbed her dick to flap in the air. “I want you, P’Wan.”

Wan washed her hands. “I know.”

“I made a mess for you.”

“Mhmm.” Wan’s voice low. “You did so well listening.”

Maewnam bit her lip and slowly stroked her dick again. “When will I get my reward for listening well?”

“Soon.” Wan’s bed creaked. Cloth scratched the microphone. Wan’s voice closer when she said, “I want to see you soon.”

Maewnam nodded. She just had to get pass her mom and her mom’s orders.

Chapter Text

Wan knew she could just call Maewnam to meet up now, but she felt like she wasn’t given her part of the contract with how many times they rejected an appointment for her. She was pregnant. Her goal was done. There was still four months left before it finally terminated.

“Miss Thantara, hello. How may I help you?”

“I’d like to know why all my appointments have been rejected.”

The receptionist looked through her computer. She typed in something. The date? The time? Wan didn’t know how this stuff works.

“I’m sorry, Miss Thantara. Every appointment I input gets rejected in the system.”

Wan bit her lip and glared at the chairs. This wasn’t right.

“Miss Thantara,” a woman’s voice behind her echoed into the walls. She turned around. She looked familiar. A shape similar to an alpha she knew. “I was hoping to meet you here. I’m Piyathida, the owner of Propagate Gold. May I have a private conversation with you?”

Wan stared at her longer. There was something about her she has seen before. If she was owner of this company, she must be rich. Perhaps the news she has seen the woman.

She nodded and followed the lady to the elevator.

Inside of her office, Wan sat down across from her glass table. Her legs cross. Her back pressed into the oddly comfortable cushion. She stared at the glass, avoiding at how harsh the woman’s stare was on her—as if she was trying to burn down her walls.

Piyathida cleared her throat. “You’re a pretty woman, Khun Thantara. I’m surprised you’re not married yet while reading your contract.”

Wan pressed her lips together to stop herself from saying something back.

“Although, it is wise to wait for the right one…” She leaned toward the table. “I married the wrong man my first time. Unfortunately, my daughter is left with his last name: Taweesapsukul.”

Wan tilted her head. Something lit in her brain. She hasn’t seen this woman before.

“You’re Maewnam’s mom.”

“I am.” The woman smiled. “And I don’t approve of whatever relationship you and Maewnam have developed.”

Wan held her hands together. Maewnam’s mom being into business. Maewnam’s question on how her mom found out. It all made sense. Did Maewnam get her question answered?

“People like you, people who needs extra help, will only bring my daughter down.”

“People like me?” Wan almost scoffed.

“People who lack the basic biology of an omega or alpha only drain the energy of their counterpart. You didn’t get to see my daughter come home every time after your appointments tired with such little reward…” Maewnam’s mom pointed at her stomach. “One child?”

Wan held her hands even tighter. They slowly gravitate toward her stomach. The baby inside there wasn’t just a simple reward.

Maewnam’s mom laughed and shook her head. “One child after all those years of trying? How many more years until another one?”

Wan licked her lips to stop her words from coming out. She only has one child. Maewnam’s mom only had Maewnam.

Then, Wan wondered if Maewnam’s mom was like her who couldn’t produce as much. Or if Maewnam’s dad was the one that fell into her shoes. And it was too late for another because they’ve grown old and distant. Maewnam’s age far too big to want a sibling.

“Let her go. Keep the baby. You’ll have that at least.”

“Your own company matched me with Maewnam, believing in her to create a child with me. It took three months. The next child, it may take just as little time,” Wan said.

Maewnam’s mom stared at her. Her smile faded. Wan let go of her own hands. She was going to have Maewnam in her life.

“It doesn’t change the fact you are a useless omega who cannot breed unless you’re lucky to be with an alpha who could make up with your lack of use.”

“People aren’t alive just to breed.”

She laughed. “No? It’s hard to believe you have a degree.”

Wan found it hard to believe such a woman was the creator of Propagate Gold. A clinic to help people, yet their owner looked down on these people.

“I can end this contract with Maewnam.” Wan nodded. “But I’m not going to end my relationship with Maewnam.”

The door to the office opened. “Miss Sudteerak!” The secretary bowed in apology to her boss. Maewnam entered the room while the secretary closed it.

“Mom, what are you doing?”

Maewnam’s mom stood up and smiled—polite, too polite. “Perfect. You’re here. Let’s sign for your contract to end.”

Maewnam pushed Wan’s chair and grabbed her hand. She looked down and nodded at her. “Come on, P’Wan.”

“Where do you think you’re going, Sudteerak? I saw you and her break out of your room. Did I not teach you anything?”

Maewnam locked their fingers together. “I’m quitting.”

Her mom’s head tilted a little with an eyebrow raised. Her eyes cold. “Sudteerak, you’re making a stupid decision. Choosing a person, a useless omega, over your job?”

“She’s not useless, mom.”

“You don’t think I’ve done the same mistake to choose the wrong person over my work. Look how my life turned out!”

“P’Wan isn’t like dad! She has a job. She’s smart. She actually loves me. She’s carrying my child!”

“Plenty of other women carried your child.”

“I’m in love with her, mom,” Maewnam’s voice soft as if the truth would soften every blow her mother was throwing at them. Maewnam looked up at her. Wan stared at her. Maewnam was shaking in her hands, and she couldn’t hold her as tightly as she could—she couldn’t say it was alright. Wan was afraid too.

She rubbed her thumb at the back of Maewnam’s hand. Wan hasn’t been able to say it yet. She hasn’t fully proven her worth for Maewnam, but she was getting there.

Maewnam’s patience still ran. Her lips quirked up. A deep breath. “I love you,” she whispered.

“What good does love do, Maewnam? Look at her. Look at how many times you two had to try. Look at her life style. It doesn’t suit you.”

Wan bit her lip. She didn’t know Maewnam’s full life style. She didn’t know a lot of the details of Maewnam at home with her family. But every walk they’ve taken, every night they slept in each other’s arms, she has never doubted the ache on the back of her neck.

But this moment, this moment with one of the most important people in Maewnam’s life, she doubted herself.

“Your lack of love…” Maewnam’s voice cracked. She swallowed. “Showed me how good love is when I actually receive it.”

“Maewnam, I gave you everything you have today. How is that not love?” Her mom walked over. Maewnam pulled Wan back with her. Wan’s body slightly in front of her, impulsively. She would be the shield Maewnam needed.

Her mom’s eyes finally softened at the action. She swallowed and nodded. “Don’t come back to me looking for a job. Don’t think you can come back after this.”

Maewnam turned to leave the room. Wan looked back at her mom. The glimpse of a tear from the corner of her eyes. How quickly she wiped it away and turned around. The contract on the table signed off with Maewnam’s resignation.

“I could have handled that,” Wan said. Maewnam glanced back at her. “You didn’t have to quit.”

“I was going to quit anyway.” Maewnam slowed down. Wan stopped her to look at her. Wan reached over and wiped her tear.

“Why?”

“I want to focus on you and our baby. I don’t want any other children with anyone else but you.”

Wan smiled and kissed her forehead. “Does this mean you’re homeless now?”

“Are you inviting me to live with you?”

“No.”

“What?” Maewnam pouted.

“Not until you agree to pay your deposit.”

“What’s the price?”

Wan pulled her closer to lean into her ear. “Secret.”

She walked away without holding Maewnam’s hand. Maewnam whined behind her. “P’Wan!” and “P’Wan, tell me!” then “P’Wan, I’m going to—“ Wan covered her mouth.

Wan took off her shirt when they finally settled into her room. Maewnam still pestering her on what she needed to do to live with her. She sat down on her bed while Maewnam was mumbling about how this could be her room.

Maewnam looked up and shut her mouth. “Why did you take off your shirt?”

Wan motioned her to come to her with a finger. Maewnam followed. Her hands slip underneath Maewnam’s shirt. Her chin pressed against her chest as her hands rose higher.

Maewnam leaned down to kiss her, but she shook her head.

“I want something,” Wan said.

“I’ll give you anything.”

Wan pulled off Maewnam’s shirt. She pulled her down and pushed her down the bed. Maewnam looked back. “Wow, P’Wan, you like it rough?”

Wan rolled her eyes and straddled Maewnam’s butt. She pushed Maewnam’s hair to the side and brushed her fingertips against the glands. She wanted to taste how Maewnam really was like. The scent that filled up the room every time they have sex wasn’t enough. She wanted to sink her teeth from the source; she wanted to leave her mark.

She kissed Maewnam’s shoulder. Her lips traveled to the side of her neck. A nibble on Maewnam’s earlobe. The alpha underneath her whimpered. “P’Wan…”

Wan licked her ear. “Maewnam.” She kissed behind her ear. “Sudteerak.” She kissed the back of her neck. Her tongue dragged across the skin. The taste of jasmine and oranges secreted a sample at the tip of her tongue. She grind against Maewnam’s ass, moaning.

Maewnam gripped the sheets tightly. Wan held one of her hands, pushing it as far as she could as she continued to lick the gland. Her legs tightened around Maewnam as she continued to roll her hips. 

“Let me be your mate,” Wan whispered.

“Please.”

Wan drooled. She sucked it in. It continued to run down her chin and onto Maewnam’s skin. She opened her mouth—the scent choked up her throat. It wasn’t enough. She sniffed her scent. Warm. Everything was so warm. It twisted and coiled inside of her stomach. She thrusted once.

“P’Wan.”

Wan scraped her teeth against her skin. Maewnam shuddered. She shook. She whimpered.

“I love you, Maewnam.” Wan bit down. And this was the taste of love. It sunk into her heart intoxicating it in a remedy that would live forever. Life after life, this was going to be how Wan recognized love.

Juices of the taste of the exact same scent she nestled herself in when she was lonely. The same scent she craved was in her mouth. The taste so sweet. A thick fluid leaked down her chin. She sucked. Biting harder to let every last drop out of her glands, she drank it all up.

Maewnam’s reaction was quiet—the kind of where it would be too loud if it had a sound. Her fingers gripped onto the sheets with Wan’s fingers locked into them. She bucked her hips. Her body never stopped shivering when her teeth sunk into her skin.

She released. Her bite red and imprinted into her skin. Her alpha. She stared in glory. This was all hers.

Maewnam turned around. Wan fell onto the bed, yelping.

“Be mine. Be mine too, P’Wan.” Maewnam’s hands ran up and down her stomach. Wan didn’t have time to really answer. Maewnam turned her over, lifting her hips up to rub her boner against her ass. She sighed. “P’Wan,” she moaned.

Wan moaned back. She’s forced down. Maewnam’s weight against her lower back. Hands pressed against her shoulder blades, scratching the middle. 

She pushed Wan’s hair aside. Her fingers scraped her scalp, pulling at some strands. She leaned down and licked Wan’s glands.

Wan bucked her hips, leaking cum. She could have an orgasm at just this alone.

Maewnam kissed it. A peck here and there. A deep breath through her nose to catch her scent. Wan looked back. Maewnam smiled against her skin.

“Mine,” Maewnam whispered. She sunk her teeth into Wan’s glands. Wan moaned from her chest. The fluids coming out from her neck mirroring the unleash of all that has coiled inside of her lower belly. Her underwear soaked every time Maewnam’s put more pressure, letting everything come out.

Her heart kept in Maewnam’s hands. Her cum all made for her. The glands of coconut and rum poured into her mouth. She was all hers.

“Maewnam…Maewnam,” Wan whimpered. She rubbed against her mattress, wishing it was Maewnam she could feel against her clit. Maewnam hasn’t let her go, biting deeper. Her tongue flicking at the droplets coming out. “Sudteerak, I’m yours.”

Maewnam let go. She licked her mark. “That’s right. You’re mine, P’Wan.”

Wan nodded weakly. She turned her head, and Maewnam kissed her. The taste of her still on Maewnam’s tongue, she sucked it. Maewnam shoved her tongue deeper into her mouth.

“I love you,” Maewnam whispered against her lips. They kissed again. A long suck of their lips before pulling apart in a wet string of saliva. Wan licked her lips to clean it.

“I love you too.” Wan reached behind her to pull Maewnam’s head closer. “I love you, Maewnam.”

The rest of night was filled with the same three words. The same three words said in different ways: inside of each other, against each other and shouted to the world. Love could be quiet. Love could be loud. Wan has experience both in such a night.

Chapter Text

Wan and Maewnam pushed the metal shelf in the middle of the shop in a different orientation. “Why are we doing this?” Wan asked. Maewnam looked at the crooked shelf that was facing the entrance of the shop.

“So we can display our plushies!” Maewnam fixed it little by little. Wan turned her head to see the vision. The space between the shelves was kind of small. People might not like being so cramped. She stepped back and back. Maewnam dragged her to the entrance of the store.

She pointed. “The shelves are facing the entrance. They’ll see all the plushies walking right in.”

The shelves were empty. She’ll trust Maewnam with her thought process. Wan only went to school for business administration. Maewnam studied marketing and finance.

“Do you have a name for the shop?” Maewnam asked. Wan stared up at where her dad’s old sign was. She had taken it down when he died. The store closed forever.

“Plushop.” Maewnam pressed her lips together. She looked up. Wan pouted. “You could laugh.”

Maewnam laughed and held onto her shoulders. She tiptoed and kissed Wan’s cheek. “Is that your best name?” Maewnam asked.

Wan nodded. “It gets to the point. Plush and shop.”

Maewnam rested her chin on Wan’s hand. “Okay. Plushop it is.”

Wan was washing the dishes. Hands wrapped around her waist. A small rub on her slightly grown belly. Maewnam pressed her lips against her shoulders. “P’Wan.”

“Hm?” She continued to wash the dishes. Rinse. Rinse. Put it away. The sound of water constant.

Maewnam’s voice cut through it, tendering her heart. “I can’t wait to see our baby.”

Wan looked back. Just a glance. Just a little peek. Maewnam’s eyes were focused on her face—her gaze a laser, ready to shoot her face with all the love in her eyes. Wan doesn’t have to turn around and check. There was always this feeling: being watched as if she were being protected.

Wan could fall, and Maewnam would do everything she can to catch her. Her stare was like that: a hand always in reach.

Wan turned off the faucet. The dishes drying on the rack. Turning around to face her mate, Maewnam pulled away to give her room. Their bodies molded back into each other like they have always been born to be together, and if they were to be separated again, they would only find a way to stick once again.

Wan leaned in. It was natural. It was expected. Their lips have gotten used to each other like how the rug on the wooden floor has left a spot, and it wouldn’t look right somewhere else. Maewnam smiled against her lips. Wan kissed harder—to breathe.

“They can’t wait to see you too,” Wan said.

Maewnam continued to rub her stomach. Her fingertips flowed back and forth. “I am a pretty sight to see.”

Wan chuckled and kissed her cheek. “You are.”

Maewnam kissed her. Her arms wrapped around her neck. One hand held onto the side of her neck like a habit—like it was meant to be there. “But you’re the prettier view, P’Wan.”

Wan hugged her. Maewnam snuggled into her chest.

And Maewnam would never really understand how she was the epitome of warmth to Wan. From her scent to the colors that surround her, Wan was never afraid to be cold around her. There was always a hug wrapped around her heart.

Wan stared at Maewnam sitting down on the chair with her small traveling sewing kit. She held the blue-grey elephant missing a leg. She was in the process of sewing it all together.

She smiled. She turned back to her legs being spread open. The doctor and nurses staring at her vagina, waiting for her to open up so the baby could come out. A pain in her stomach and back.

She never wanted to be pregnant again if this was how labor felt like.

There was another push inside of her stomach. The doctor motioned the nurse to get ready. “Miss Thantara, you’re fully dilated. The baby will be coming out soon.”

“Maewnam!” Wan whipped her arm out for her girlfriend to hold her hand. Maewnam dropped everything and ran to her, holding her hand. Wan pulled her down. The grip she had on Maewnam was tight and wet.

Maewnam winced at the hold. Wan wanted to apologize, but she was too busy pushing the child out of her. She cried and screamed.

“Breathe. I need you to breathe,” Maewnam said. Wan took a deep breath before screaming again. Something tore. Wan didn’t even want to know what that pain was or where it was. The cries of a child came out. The rest of the body still inside of her.

Maewnam continued to exercise breathing in front of her. Wan tried to follow until the final push let the baby out of her.

Wan groaned. Her head fell back onto the pillow. She loosened her grip. Her whole body shaking and weak. She couldn’t feel much of anything.

“Are you okay?” Maewnam asked. Wan nodded and swallowed. She wondered if having a baby was really worth all that.

Maewnam kissed her forehead. “You did good, P’Wan. You’re okay…You’re okay.”

The sound of cries got louder. His whole body red and blue, almost purple.

A nurse held him. “Are you okay to hold him?” she asked. Wan nodded and reached out. The tiny body placed against her chest. His cries quieting. Small little segments of his cries as he closed his eyes, settling into Wan’s arms.

“Hi, baby.” Wan rubbed his tiny hands with her thumb. Maewnam sat down next to her.

“It looks like you gave birth to a healthy baby boy.” The doctor smiled. 

Wan looked over at Maewnam to show her that he had her face shape. Her words lost in her throat when she was greeted by Maewnam crying. She sniffed and wiped her tears, quietly laughing.

“He’s so cute,” Maewnam barely whispered before cracking into a cry.

Wan smiled and kissed the baby boy’s forehead. “Your name is going to be Waree,” she said. Maewnam reached over, caressing his leg. “Waree from me. Yod Rak from your mom.”

Maewnam teared up even more at her last sentence. Wan smiled. She grabbed Maewnam’s hand on his leg and kissed it.

Maewnam showed Wan her finished elephant plush. Waree asleep on his crib the first night they came back from the hospital. “I finished,” Maewnam whispered.

“Good job.” Wan lay in the bed. Maewnam set the plush on the bedside table and got into bed with her.

Maewnam kissed her cheek. “When’s our next baby?”

Wan groaned and closed her eyes tightly. “Not now, Maewnam.”

Maewnam giggled and lifted up the blanket to cover Wan. She lay on her side, staring at Wan. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Can we sleep?” Wan was already drifting off. Maewnam fixed her hair and hummed.

“Go ahead. I’ll stay up in case Waree wakes up.”

Wan couldn’t say anything back. She fell asleep with Maewnam stroking her hair.

Wan stared at the sign Maewnam had made. It boarded in the same spot her dad put his. Against a blue background, the words PLUSHOP is painted in yellow and red. A little elephant drawn on the side.

“Did you draw that?” Wan asked. Waree was in her arms wrapped in cloth.

“Yeah! Cute, right?”

“You’re cute.”

“Ha?” Maewnam wrapped her hand around her ear and leaned. “Say that again.”

“You’re ugly.” Wan walked inside.

“P’Wan! That’s mean! Don’t call me ugly in front of our son.” Maewnam pouted.

Wan looked down at their baby. “Don’t listen to her. I’m not mean.”

Maewnam sat down and stretched, reaching her arm over to wrap around Wan’s neck. She kissed her cheek and grinned. “I like my life right now.”

Wan turned her head to kiss her lip.

“I have you. I have my son. I have a little plush shop. I have my mom calling me to come back.” Maewnam looked at her phone that was vibrating. She doesn’t reject the call. She let it ring until it was done.

“Maybe you should answer,” Wan said. She played with Waree’s cheek. “You only have one mom.”

“Waree has two, right?” Maewnam leaned down.

Wan slid her hand underneath Maewnam’s chin and lead her to look up at her. “Are you sure about it?”

Maewnam nodded. “She has Propagate Gold as her child now.” She looked up at Wan. She blew a kiss at her. “And I have you.”

Wan could only stare. She didn’t have to think. With Maewnam, she could simply live. She had learned new habits of letting Maewnam into her space. She had learned to live with the memories of her dad. She had learned something new Maewnam showed her to only fall in love over and over again.

Wan learned: It was going to be like this now.