Chapter Text
Out of all the people Caesar possibly could have run into at this stupid Halloween party, he saw the one and only Joseph Joestar, AKA: his insufferable ex-boyfriend. Great. He could tell by the messy brunet hair, and the ridiculous costume. Was Joseph seriously in drag?? As if this night could be any worse, the drunken Brit had waddled all the way over to him, and spilled his beer all over his nice pink scarf!
"Watch it Joestar." The Italian said in an annoyed tone while supporting the dizzy brunet by his waist. Could Joseph ever hold his goddamn alcohol?
"Must you always say Joestar like it's a slur? God, lighten up would you?" The brunet retorted, clearly not apologetic in the slightest. It was hard to take his insults seriously, given how Joseph had extremely rouged cheeks and lips with a tight pink cocktail dress on. Although the dress looked tacky, it aligned with the curves of his body, complimenting the man's figure.
"Moron… Get off of me, you're too heavy."
"Then stop holding my waist, Casanova. Unless you don't want to stop?" He teased with that stupid smirk. Damn Joseph, and damn this party.
Caesar gave the Brit a look which spelled out nothing but trouble. "Fine." He smirked, and let go of his waist. After releasing his grip on Joseph, the other male toppled down to the floor. The sound of his numerous necklaces and long earrings jangled as he fell. Well, that was his fault for wearing hot pink heels.
"You asshole—!"
The blonde acted nonchalant as he shrugged at the fallen man, casually removing his soaked scarf. "I just let you go like you asked, don't be so childish in public, JoJo."
"Oh. I'm the childish one, am I?! You're unbelievable." Joseph said with a grumble as he got back up to his feet with a mischievous smirk.
"Let me guess… Your next line is: 'I'll wipe that smirk off your face!' Isn't it?" The brunet proclaimed loudly with a smug look. It was one of his 'signature moves' to read others and it pissed Caesar off.
"I'll wipe that smirk off your face! Wait. Did you seriously use that stupid trick?!" The blonde slapped his forehead and shot the Brit an icy glare.
"Sure did. You mad Caesarino?" Joseph stuck out his tongue as he taunted the angry Italian who was now approaching.
To anybody on the outside, this was their usual bickering. They were never known to get along in any setting, and oftentimes ended up fighting. This time was no different of course, although the air was tenser this time. This fight was more personal than a few grievances between the two men.
"I am mad puttana. Can you ever shut that mouth of yours, or do you need assistance?" He rhetorically asked, grabbing the Brit by the front of his stupid dress. He could feel the pink sequins against the soft fabric. Joseph's face was closer than he thought, and he could see the mischievous look in those cyan eyes. The colour of his eyes truly popped with the eye makeup he had done, and his lips—
Before he could finish his thought, the brunet opened his mouth again interrupting him. Of course he did. "Oh? And how would you assist with that Caesar? Enlighten us." He gestured to the small crowd that had formed due to their loud argument.
Now the brunet had gotten on his last nerve. He balled his hand into a fist, but Caesar could punch that Joseph's annoyingly hot face, Suzie Q intervened. "No fighting boys!" She said in her usual sweet voice, not so subtly tugging the other Italian away. She was another one of Joseph's unfortunate love victims and also the one who invited Caesar to this party in the first place.
If Caesar didn't know any better, he'd assume the other man had a thing for blonde Italians—but that was besides the point. "Sorry Suzie… I didn't mean to get worked up over such an insignificant sewer rat." He said as he adjusted his hair.
"Hey! I'm right here, and don't touch Suzie!" The Brit complained, trying to tug Suzie over to his side. Despite being broken up for a while, he was oddly possessive over her.
"Like she's your property." He said with a defiant grin. Joseph's pouts were always amusing to look at, especially with that cherry red lip gloss on.
"Scared that I'll snatch her away from you?"
"Both of you shut up…! I'm not a prize to be won. You're unbelievable." Suzie said with a scolding tone.
"You both behave like children." She scoffed, which caused Caesar to mumble a quiet apology in Italian.
"Did he just shit talk me again?? Stop speaking Italian around me when you know damn well that I don't understand it!!" The Brit yelled angrily.
"All I did was apologise to Suzie, like a gentleman… But I know Brits like you are unaware of such a concept." He added one last jab before he got shut up by Suzie's hand.
"Can you guys get along for one minute? You're embarrassing me." She said as she dragged Caesar into a room far away from Joseph.
"Sorry signora… It won't happen again, on my family's name!" The Casanova said in surrender, lifting his hands in the air like he got caught stealing.
"You better keep your promise this time, or I swear to God—!" She threatened, giving him an angry pout, although it wasn't intimidating.
"What happened to you guys anyways? I swear you were best friends last year."
"With JoJo? Don't get me started. He's insufferable, annoying, pompous, loud, not to mention an utter buffoon!" He crossed his arms and looked away from her.
"That's a lot of adjectives for a guy you hate, huh. Most people just leave it at 'I don't like him.'"
"What are you insinuating?" Caesar cocked an eyebrow at her in an almost accusatory tone.
"Nothing… Unless there is something to insinuate?"
"I'm leaving. You're saying nonsense." He said with a dramatic turn towards the door.
"Whatever you say Caesar, Ciao!" Suzie said, waving goodbye to her friend as he walked off. She had known the two for long enough to speculate something went on between the two of them, but both were far too proud to admit anything.
Now Caesar was sitting on the porch in the backyard, letting the cold autumn air hit his skin. The wooden planks were kind of wobbly, but it wasn't his issue. Whose house was this anyways?
It was kind of cold out, and now the Italian was beginning to regret having beer spilled all over his clothes. He fiddled with the zipper of his blue hoodie until he heard footsteps behind him. He felt a familiar warm green scarf over his neck. It was Joseph's.
"Joestar. Back to wreak more havoc?"
"No… Just here to apologise. You were right, I was being kind of childish… And sorry for spilling my beer all over you." Joseph said as he sat down beside Caesar, looking into the other's soft green eyes. They always reminded him of jade.
"Thanks I guess." The blonde said, looking back into the other's cerulean eyes. "Though, it's rather hard to take you seriously when you're dressed like that."
"This? This is my drag persona, Tequila! Do you like it…?" He asked, doing an unprompted flashy pose. The brunet awaited the other's reply, lowering his gaze to the floor as he chuckled.
"It suits you, I guess. A little blush heavy though." He smiled, but attempted to cover his grin with the scarf Joseph had provided him with. He didn't want him to get the satisfaction of seeing his smile.
"Hey, don't hide from me… I want to see your face." The Brit tilted the other's chin up with his finger, making the Italian look up at him.
"…Idiota. Don't touch me. Do you think you have the right?" The blonde protested, although weakly.
"Okay, okay. I said I'm sorry… But I get 'sorry' doesn't cover everything." He dropped his hand from Caesar's face and retreated slightly.
"It's fine. I'll forgive you for now…" He replied as he silently mourned the loss of Joseph's hand against his skin.
"What do you really want then? I know you're never just here to apologise, because you hate saying sorry." Caesar asked a little more quietly.
"I dunno. To talk…? Just as friends, I don't expect anything."
"You're drunk… So whatever you're saying you better mean." He punctuated with the sound of his sunflower engraved lighter flickering on to light his cigarette.
"Is that the lighter I gave 'ya?" The brunet asked, easily distracted as always. But sometimes he was annoyingly perceptive.
"Yeah it is…. But that's not relevant." He stammered out, bringing the cigarette to his lips.
"Right. Forget I mentioned it I guess." The Brit tried to stay nonchalant, but he knew damn well Caesar kept it on him intentionally. He had hundreds of lighters in his collection, yet he chose this one? Its condition was pristine too, the engraving still looking like it was done yesterday.
The silence was loud. Caesar tried to focus on everything but Joseph as he took another puff of his cigarette. He really should quit, he thought to himself. As he fumbled with his thumbs, he took in the sight of the Brit beside him. He was always freakishly tall, but with the heels his stature was even more so. But he also looked damn good in that dress, much better than any girl he's taken out on a date.
"JoJo… You look good tonight." He whispered, already regretting the words that had left his mouth.
Instead of a cocky reply, the Brit simply said "Thanks."
The smell of Joseph's scarf wafting through the cool air was almost intoxicating. It smelled mainly of fried food and mint gum which he ate often. Typical New Yorker, he thought to himself. The scent took him back to the day they broke up.
It was a lovely spring morning. They had just gone out to an American-style diner, as per Joseph's request. The smell of flowers filled the air, which unfortunately meant pollen was everywhere too. The brunet sneezed like crazy the whole day, and had gone through a whole pack of tissues already. Even so, he still managed to buy Caesar a lovely bouquet of sunflowers wrapped in an orange ribbon.
The day was amazing, if only Joseph hadn't opened his big mouth… They would probably still be together. "When are you gonna introduce me to your family?" He had asked that day.
Truth be told, the Italian never intended to introduce him. Joseph was hard to get along with in the simplest terms. On top of that, family was always a sensitive topic for Caesar. His mother died when he was young, and his father left to work abroad, leaving him to care for his four siblings. Although he loved his family, they followed a traditional Catholic lifestyle. For the Casanova to bring someone home, let alone a man? Unthinkable! He had a reputation to uphold, so in the moment he stayed silent.
The silence had hung in the air for a moment, and then the brunet had spoken up. "What? Are you embarrassed of me or something? You never let me hold your hand in public, you always introduce me as your best friend, and you don't even acknowledge me when your college friends say hi to us!" The words had echoed through his mind for months, and Joseph was right.
Caesar forgot how he reacted exactly, but all he knew was that he was extremely upset with the other. The brunet had such a way with words, and not in a good way. He was always getting on the blonde's nerves, seemingly one of his other special talents.
"Who the hell gives a damn about what your family thinks?! Are you seriously going to change yourself for the beliefs of some dead guys? For some shitty old family values?! It feels like nobody except you care these days about being open."
"….You love me, don't you? Why won't you prove it? Do you seriously think your silly book dictates our life?!" He continued, with his voice slightly faltered.
Now that had struck a nerve. The Italian had dropped the bouquet from his hands, grabbing Joseph by his stupid red bomber jacket. "What did you just say!? You can call me a coward, but don't you dare bring my family or my beliefs into this, JoJo!"
"What am I saying? What are you saying?! Suddenly Mr. Womaniser wants to play the role of a good gospel boy, huh? What are you so afraid of?"
"Unlike you I can't just do whatever I want, do you know what would happen if I came out to my father? I'd be disowned. I don't have the luxury of the spoiled life your Granny gives you, or the unconditional love you get from everyone around you. I have to uphold a standard!"
"You think my life is so easy too?! Just because you have Daddy issues doesn't mean that you're exempt from this. I can't believe you're hiding yourself for some people who won't even love you for the real Caesar. So screw your family honour, and screw you! Is it worth it to be someone your not just for a stupid legacy?!"
A vein was popping out from Caesar's forehead, his grip on Joseph only tightening. He looked away for a second, putting down the Brit and storming off.
"Keep running away from your problems like you always do then! Don't bother coming back to me… I don't want to see your face ever again!" Joseph had called out. He always had to get the last word, didn't he?
He snapped out of his daydream as Joseph shook him back to reality.
"Hellooooo? Earth to Caesarino? There's hot babes at the party, c'mon, snap out of it!" The Brit had called out to tempt Caesar back to reality.
"I'm here. Just thinking." The blonde replied, eyes focusing back to the man beside him.
"I'm not that stupid… I know when something's bothering you. Stop shutting me out for five seconds, you're like… Emotionally constipated."
"Firstly—ew. Secondly, I don't want to talk about it with you." He said stubbornly as always.
"Can you stop acting like that? Stop acting like you're above talking about your feelings. I know you, Cae… So just stop already! Even if you hate my guts and want me dead… Just do yourself this one favour. I'm not going to watch you slowly drown in self pity anymore!" Joseph yelled in exasperation, taking Caesar's gloved hand in his and bringing it closer to his chest.
The Italian quickly jerked his hand away, his green eyes darting across the backyard like they were being watched. "What did I say about you touching me? Don't you get it? I want you to leave me alone." He stamped out the cigarette in his hands under his boot, annoyed.
"I don't get it. You're so fucking obsessed with family honour, and their ideals… But it's hurting you! I shouldn't have said what I did, but wake up man!" The brunet looked away from Caesar, thinking how he even ended up caring for such a stubborn dumbass. He tightly gripped the fabric of his dress.
The blonde was deep in thought once more. What did that idiot Brit know anyways? He didn't know shit about his life.
Caesar began to fidget with the necklace around his neck, under the scarf Joseph had lent him. Stupid JoJo. The cool metal of the cross shaped necklace was soothing against his skin. The day his mother died, she had left this to him. It still had the initials of her name engraved onto the back of the cross, although it was worn down over the years.
Another beat of silence passed between the two of them, the brunet about to stand up to leave. "Real mature, giving me the silent treatment. If that's how you want things to be, so be it. You can't live like this forever though." Joseph said. It didn't sound as sharp as his usual insults though.
"…Wait—Joseph!" Caesar called out to the other, gripping his hand to prevent him from moving. Well… It didn't actually prevent anything since the man was 195 centimeters tall and super buff, but it felt like it did.
"Don't go. I want to tell you the truth, but it's hard… And it's not exactly easy to open up to you of all people, especially when you're dressed like that." He gestured to Joseph's pink get-up in a pathetic attempt to bring some comedy into the heavy situation.
"Wait—really? I-I mean… Great! I'm amazing, I knew this would happen." The Brit said boastfully, but it was clear he did not expect this, even with his so-called superior perception skills. He sat back down next to Caesar, paying attention for once in his life.
"I was just thinking… Maybe you're right. I am embarrassed, not of you… But of myself. I was raised in a pretty strict and traditional household, and I was expected to be the 'man of the house' when my father left for work. It led to me making all sorts of trouble, and getting a lot of lectures…" The blonde pushed back his hair, thinking about how to properly word his thoughts.
"It's hard coming to terms with this… But all the girls I've ever been with meant nothing to me. I thought maybe I just haven't found the one, but the only girl I've ever loved is you in drag." Caesar said with a scoff, in a pathetic attempt to make a joke.
"That's rough… And I am really sorry for what I said. I didn't know."
At that moment, the porch felt like their own little world, away from everyone else. The blonde rested his head against the other's shoulder as tears quietly came down his face. The Brit was like his rock, keeping him stable. It was funny how fate always brought them back to one another.
"You're going to make me cry too, idiot…" Joseph said with a smile, bringing Caesar closer to him.
The sun had fully set now, revealing the full moon that illuminated the night sky. The stars were shimmering brightly. How long have they been out there together?
"Y'know, that constellation over there? That's the Orion one. I remember my dad left journals about the stars. He was a pilot." The Brit said, breaking the silence.
"Are you into stargazing, Cae?"
"Me…? I guess I've never thought about it. It's hard to see the stars in New York, the city causes too much light pollution." He raised his hand to the sky, trying to locate the constellation shining past the trees.
"Back home, I used to be able to see them so clearly. Guess I took it for granted."
"You're right, the city here is kind of shitty, but it's home. I didn't want to move here at first, but I basically got blacklisted from every school in England."
"You're a menace, JoJo. It's a miracle they even let you into this country." The blonde joked, giving the other a nudge with his elbow.
"Says you!" Joseph retorted with a nudge back.
The pushing and shoving between the two ended up making Joseph fall down the steps they were sitting on, eliciting a big laugh from Caesar. "Pfft. Are you okay?"
"Help me up instead of laughing, would you!" He replied, trying not to laugh himself. The Italian just shook his head in disappointment, helping him up.
"You're helpless. Also, you owe me five dollars." The blonde said as he dragged the other back on his feet.
"Five dollars for what?!" He exclaimed as if the notion was inconceivable, and as if he wasn't filthy rich.
"Dry cleaning. You ruined my scarf, remember? Can you seriously not spare five bucks?"
"You never let a good moment last." He sighed, getting a crumpled up piece of cash from his bra, which begged the question of why he was even wearing one in the first place.
"On second thought…" Caesar grimaced, pushing his hand away. "It's all yours."
"So now you wanna be picky? You're so complicated, Caesarino! Pick a side." He huffed, shoving the cash back to whence it came.
"Forgive me for not wanting cash that's probably been marinating in your sweat for the whole party."
"Do you know what else money touches?"
"Don't remind me." He recoiled, moving away from the other slightly.
The night had ended before Caesar knew it. It was a fleeting moment of happiness, like a shooting star flying through the night sky before burning out.
He returned to his apartment alone, flicking on the lights to his small studio apartment on the outskirts of the city. It was modest, but enough for him and Joseph when they used to live together.
The blonde was used to an empty home, but why did he start caring now of all times? It was probably that small cocktail he had earlier messing with his mind, right? Nothing else. He was just tired, surely.
Caesar turned towards his bathroom to get ready for bed. When he looked in the mirror he just sighed. The vanity seemed so lifeless without Joseph's stupid colognes blocking any space it offered. His fingers grazed over the bottle of cleanser he tried to force the other to use, who called it 'too girly' as if he didn't dress in drag today.
"This is pathetic." He spoke out loud, raking his fingers through his blonde hair while releasing a sigh of frustration.
After a while of contemplation, the Italian finally got into the shower. As the cold water ran down his skin he couldn't help but recount the events of today. He saw his ex-boyfriend, almost got into a physical altercation with him, and somehow spent the rest of the night moping in his arms.
This was very pathetic. He hated how the brunet knew just the right thing to say in almost every scenario. Caesar never thought this would be a complaint of his, but the man was freakishly perceptive and it drove him insane.
While he wasn't paying attention, a bottle of shampoo fell right onto his toe! As if his life wasn't in enough shambles, his shitty apartment somehow decided to mock him too.
"Cazzo!" He cursed, carefully leaning down to pick up the bottle that had just dropped. It was purple with a floral design all over the label. One of those shampoos that helped tone your blonde hair or whatever Joseph said. How was it not okay when he liked to get a basic cleanser but it was perfectly fine for him to know so much about hair! Oh the irony.
The cool water seemed to slow his thoughts, even if it was for a bit. After he dried off, he brushed his teeth and got changed into his light blue pyjamas. Now, Caesar could finally sleep. Or so he thought.
Everything was reminding him of Joseph today, wasn't it?
The other side of the bed used to be occupied by the other. Not only would the brunet sprawl out and invade his personal space, but he would steal on the blanket and act none the wiser the very next morning. Although the Brit was horrible to sleep next to, he couldn't help but wish for one more night with him. The sight of the empty pillow next to him was too much to bear.
The pillow case still smelled of his favourite cologne. He couldn't remember the name of it, but it reminded him of cherry cola and wood. Being close to it was like being close to him.
He could finally sleep after what felt like hours of tossing and turning. Even though Caesar knew he would only wake up to an empty bed full of disappointment, he couldn't stop himself.