Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

One.

It was the last day of term before the holiday break. After a quick lunch in the Great Hall, I met Neville at the door. He handed me the two plants in their pink ceramic pots-- the last of my gifts to my professors that Neville helped me find. I wished him a happy Christmas and hugged him goodbye, setting off to deliver the gifts.

As I turned the corner to enter the corridor, I heard a voice mumble, “Oi, Y/N.” I whipped around to see Malfoy emerge from the corner.

“Oh!” I said, surprised, “Hey, Malfoy. What are you doing over here?”

“Well…” he drew out while slinking closer to me in his sneaky Malfoy-esque manner, “I was actually coming to find you.”

“And why is that exactly?” I asked, eyeing his pale, slender hands creeping towards his pockets. I took a step towards him, daring him to close the gap between us. He obliged, and with his final step toward me, I felt a breeze from the movement and the gentle brush of his cloak touching mine.

“I wanted to find you to say goodbye,” he reached into his pocket, producing a black velvet box, “And to give you this.”

My mind was racing as I put down the flowerpots and reached out to grab the box. Was this a trick? I knew that Malfoy and I weren’t the best of friends, but a practical joke seemed too harsh and unlike Malfoy. Deciding to trust in Draco (and the spirit of Christmas), I opened the box. A dainty gold necklace with an ornate emerald pendant lay on a lush purple pillow. With a gasp, I exclaimed, “Oh, Draco!”

“Do you like it? I remembered your birthstone was an emerald, and as a Slytherin, green jewelry is fairly easy to come by.”

“I don’t even know what to say,” I murmured, examining the detailing around the emerald. Draco just smirked.

“I’m sorry I didn’t get you a gift,” I managed to apologize, “To be honest, I didn’t even know we were friends.”

“Well, I was thinking maybe we could start now,” Draco said, his eyes darting around the room.

“Of course,” I said, picking the necklace out of the box, “Would you mind hooking the clasp?”

Draco nodded and pinched the necklace from my fingers. I noticed how close our fingers were without touching. Why was I noticing things like that? I pulled my hair to the side of my neck and turned around; Draco gently oriented the jewelry onto my neck. I felt the pendant rest on my sternum. It was cold, like ice, mirroring the cold brush of Draco’s fingers on the back of my neck. I did my best not to shiver as Draco finally clasped the necklace, and I flipped my hair to face Draco again. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding and looked up at Draco; I felt a jolt in my stomach as I noticed his steely gray eyes were already studying my own.

I broke the silence, exclaiming, “Shit. I need to deliver these gifts before the professors leave their offices.”

Draco’s fierce gaze finally faltered as he grinned, saying, “You give Christmas gifts to your teachers? Of course, you would do that.”

“I’m going to take that as a compliment,” I responded, picking up both flower pots.

“Well, I’m off to pack,” Draco said, turning to the door, “Goodbye, Y/N.”

“Wait.” I blurted out, stepping towards him. I threw both arms around Draco and embraced him. He tensed and then leaned into the hug.

“Thank you again for the necklace,” I whispered, “I really love it. Oh, and have a good break!”

“You’re welcome, Y/N.” He muttered, and we both stepped backward away from each other.

“Okay, goodbye.”

“Bye.”

⟡⟡⟡

As I walked to Professor Mcgonnogal’s classroom I felt my heart rate slow down. I’d never been in such close contact with Malfoy before and never in such a private place as that dim corridor. I hoped he didn’t mind the hug, as I can be a touchy person. Many questions were running through my head, all of them with the basis of what just happened? My mind was preoccupied as I delivered the flowerpot to the transfiguration teacher, almost forgetting to explain that the flower was enchanted to change color in anticipation of snowy weather.

Carrying the final flowerpot to the defense against the dark arts professor, my mind finally stopped racing with questions. I resolved myself to not question what just happened and accept whatever came my way. Draco and I could be friends. This peaceful sense of acceptance floated over me as I climbed the stairs to Professor Lupin’s office.

Whatever peace I had entertained in my mindwent right out the window as I stepped into the office. Cedric Diggory, the handsome Hufflepuff I had been enamored with since first-year, was face to face with me as I walked through the door. The two-year age gap between him and I had placed enough distance to make anything more than a friendly wave in the hall entirely out of the question. But there I was, within two feet of him, at a loss for words.

"Hey, Y/N," Cedric said, his pink lips curling into a smile. "Are you here to see Professor Lupin?" he added, glancing down at the pink flowerpot in my hands.

"Erm, yeah," I managed to respond, "Where is he anyway?"

Cedric flourished his wand, sending metal shards from the floor to a bin, saying, "He and I were finishing up my final private lesson for this term, and he ran out to hop on the teachers' portkey. Left me to clean up after the lesson, as you can see."

"Bugger," I said, "I was going to give him a gift."

"I can see that," Cedric tugged on the pink ribbon tied into a bow around the flowerpot, "Is that a Weatherall charm on that flower? Nice job Y/N."

I felt my face flush as I leaned to check the time on the clock. "I guess I could leave it on his desk over the break," I sighed.

"No no," Cedric said, "My father is close with Professor Lupin; I could give it to him over break. I can send an owl telling you when it's done."

"You would do that? Thank you!" I couldn't help but smile while I sat at Lupin's desk, writing the address on some spare parchment.

I handed Cedric the parchment and, for the second time that day, felt a spark as fingers brushed mine. He held up the parchment and said, "Ah, staying at the Weasley's I see." I just nodded and tucked my hair behind my ear.

I felt Cedric's warm eyes linger on my face and then land on my new necklace. Had we ever been this close together either? I held my breath as Cedric reached out and traced the emerald on my necklace. He lifted the pendant, examined it and balanced it on his pointer finger, then dropped it and backed away smiling. "See you around, Y/N," he murmured as he turned and left the room.
I was left alone in the office.

My hand flew to my chest, fingering Draco’s necklace where Cedric's touch had just left seconds ago.

⟡⟡⟡

Who has better chemistry..?

team Draco or Ced <3

Chapter Text

Two.

I found myself packing my trunk, saying goodbye to friends, and boarding the Hogwarts Express in a sort of trance. The past day's events had thrown off my usual, effervescent self. As I sat in the compartment with Harry, Ron, and Hermione, I stared out the window, just thinking.

“You okay, Y/N?” Hermione asked, gently nudging me with her shoulder.

“What- Oh yeah- I’m fine,” I said quickly, but I flashed Hermione an I’ll-tell-you-later-look. I didn’t want to explain to the whole compartment about either the head rush I got when thinking about Draco clasping my necklace, or the butterflies exploding in my stomach when I thought about Cedric standing close enough to touch said necklace. And I especially couldn't even comprehend myself that both these events happened within the same hour.

I also could not tell these things to Harry and Ron, who absolutely despised Draco and weren’t huge fans of the pretty boy Hufflepuff, Cedric. My thoughts were interrupted by an argument breaking out over Mrs. Weasley’s tradition of knitted sweaters.

“They’re ghastly!” Ron was saying, “she always picks the worst colors to give to me, I swear.”

“Oh, Ronald,” sighed Hermione, “she obviously puts a lot of work into them, at least pretend to like it.”

I smiled. I had the whole Christmas break to be with my friends. I wasn’t going to let the thoughts of two boys distract from my enjoyment. Especially not two boys who I wouldn’t think twice about a day ago.

Well, at least not one of the boys.

“I think they’re darling,” I interjected, “I can’t wait to see what color sweater I get this year,”

⟡⟡⟡

After a long walk through the muggle village, we finally arrived at the burrow.

Hermione and I ran up the stairs to put our bags in the guest room we shared.

“Look, Y/N,” Hermione said, walking to the windowsill, “There’s an owl here for you,”

She plucked the letter from the bird’s beak and tossed it to me. “Aren’t you popular,” she teased, “So, who is it from?”

I opened the envelope and slid out the letter. My eyes couldn't help but glance at the signature, and there it was again, the butterflies in my stomach. Cedric Diggory.

“Hermione,” I began, “I think I better tell you what happened earlier today,”

Sitting on the bed next to me, Hermione listened attentively as I ran through the events of the day.

“It’s not like I became beautiful overnight and suddenly everyone’s in love with me,” I explained, “I’m probably just reading into what happened,”

“Hey," Hermione said, "I don’t think you’re reading into anything! Of course we all know that you've been beautiful this whole time". Hermione pinched my cheek mockingly.

"It sounds like even the proudest Slytherin has a crush on our very own Gryffindor," she went on, "...and Cedric might have noticed you’ve been in love with him this whole time.”

“I’m not in love with Cedric-” I protested.

“-You just like him very, very, very much,” Hermione giggled, “Maybe he’s seeing you more as a woman and not a little girl anymore? Anyways, what did he say in the letter?”

I began to read aloud,

Dear Y/N,

I hope this letter finds you well. I am planning on giving Lupin the gift at a Christmas party at the end of the week. I’ll also have you know that I did get some strange looks holding a pink flowerpot on the Hogwarts Express… But anyways, would you mind rewriting the card for Lupin? The original got lost on the train. Just send the owl back with your note, thanks.

Have a happy Christmas,
Cedric

Ps. Your weather-predicting flower is inspiring my father to finally fix our gutters in anticipation of a snow storm, so, thanks.

As I finished reading, I looked up at Hermione, wanting her input.

“So, what does this mean?” I asked.

“Well,” She began, “I think it means that Cedric wanted to send an owl so bad, he made up an excuse about needing a note for Lupin.”

“Do you really think so?”

She nodded. And I had to hold back a smile -- the fact that my forever crush could be maybe possibly even thinking about me over his Christmas break gave me chills up my spine in the best way.

“Okay, even if that is true,” I started, “Can we please not obsess over this? I really don’t want my Christmas occupied by some guy.”

“If you please,” responded Hermione, “But Cedric is not just some guy- especially not to you,” She winked.

“Hey, don’t wink like that, you perv,” I play-pushed Hermione and stood up, “Let’s go downstairs. I’m starving. And maybe after, we can talk about the way you look at Ron when you think no one’s watching.” I flashed her an exaggerated wink and ran out of the room, leaving her frowning on the bed. 

⟡⟡⟡

My Christmas break was filled with lots of baking, eating more than my share of the results, games of wizards chess, and pranks from Fred and George. I was helping Hermione clean up after her box of cookies exploded into confetti upon opening it. I had done my best to distract myself from the whole Cedric situation; I wrote a polite letter back to Cedric and hadn’t received anything in return, so, I guessed, that issue had resolved itself. Talking to Hermione about what happened had helped me immensely, but I still hadn't told her about Draco’s sudden interest in being friends. The busyness of the holidays didn’t leave much time for that kind of talk so I supposed it had to wait until the right time.

The Weasley's annual Christmas Eve Party was this evening and Molly Weasley was her usual scattered self, bustling around the house cleaning and cooking simultaneously.

“Boys, what did I tell you about pranking nice ladies!” She shouted up the staircase, “Cant believe it- so impolite- I’m sorry dears,” she muttered vaguely in our direction.

“It's alright Mrs. Weasley,” I replied, “I think it’s rather funny. Do you need any help preparing for the party?”

“Well aren’t you sweet for asking,” Mrs. Weasley chuckled, “Well if you two ladies don’t mind, we need the fireplace cleaned out for our guests arriving by Floo powder… we don’t want Cedric all dirtied up with ash when he arrives, now do we?” The old witch winked and continued sweeping.

Hermione and I looked at one another.

“So, the Diggory’s are coming tonight?” Hermione asked elbowing my stomach.

“Why, yes… Didn’t he mention that in his owl that arrived last week?” Mrs. Weasley questioned innocently.

“That wasn’t- I mean, that was just about something for school, we aren’t good friends or anything.” I interjected.

Mrs. Weasly picking up a broom and starting to sweep almost sighing and humming to herself.

⟡⟡⟡

Hermione and I, elbow deep in soot, argued in hushed voices, crouched over the fireplace.

“It’s a sign,” Hermione was saying, brushing some soot from the overhead arch.

“I cant believe that you, miss 'stick-to-the-facts' Granger would believe in signs.”

“I usually don't. But this is just too perfect!” Hermione practically squealed.

“Since when did you get so boy crazy and sign-driven? You were supposed to be my smart friend.”

“Oh, hush,” she tutted, flicking some ash onto my nose. I did the same, while giggling, and soon we looked like a pair of coal-covered chimney sweeps, which I guess we were. Harry stumbled over, just having been exploded on in a game of Exploding Snap.

“What happened to you lot? What were you whispering about over here?”

“Nothing, Harry” we chimed

“Don’t we look a sight? Exploded on, attacked with soot!” I nudged Hermione.

“Yeah,” responded Hermione, “We ought to get prettied up for our guests…” she said nudging me back.

Hermione and I went upstairs to clean up and get ready. I resisted Hermione’s attempts to fuss over me, but eventually gave in to a little ‘prettying-up’. Hermione used a muggle hair tool to add soft waves to my hair and I put on my new necklace. I looked in the mirror and was pleased with the work Hermione and I had done; a pink blush on my cheeks and nose gave me a sweet, youthful look. And my darkened eyelashes matured the look a little. I insisted on fussing over Hermione as well, and when we were done, we headed downstairs.

I didn’t want to get my hopes up, so I pushed the thought of Cedric out of my mind. I fixed myself a cup of pumpkin juice and sat with Ron on the couch. Waiting for the guests to arrive. Each time the fireplace lit up with green, my stomach dropped.

⟡⟡⟡

I was still sitting on the couch and trying not to flinch each time the fireplace exploded with Floo Powder. Fred plopped down next to me and tugged on one of my fresh curls.

“Well, don’t you look nice tonight?” Fred smirked, “Waiting by the fireplace for Little Mr. Perfect Prefect himself?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, smacking his hand from my hair.

“Listen, you wanna make this party a little more fun than talking to scruffy old wizards?”

“What exactly would make it more fun?”

“Well,” Fred said, “George and I have a little stash of some fire whiskey in our room… Care to partake?”

I glanced at the fireplace one more time and then turned back to Fred.

“What the hell, sure.”

We both stood up and sidestepped out of the room. I grabbed Harry’s arm and yanked him into Fred and George’s room with me.

“Bloody hell, Y/N. What’s going on?”

“I need a drinking buddy tonight,” I told Harry, “You interested?”

“Hey! Aren't we enough?” Fred and George chimed.

“She doesn’t trust you lot,” Harry responded, “And, yeah, I'm in.”

I grinned and sat down on the floor, forming a small circle with the three boys. George motioned for me to hand him my pumpkin juice, and I obliged. He poured a hefty splash of fire whiskey into my juice and handed it back to me. I took a sip and shivered. This night would be far from boring; I could already tell.

We sat in their room for about twenty minutes, sipping our makeshift drinks and talking up a storm. We eventually decided to show face at the party so as not to raise suspicion. I stood up and immediately grabbed Harry for support; my third cup of pumpkin juice/fire whisky sloshed in my cup. Harry just laughed and held my arm for support.

“Right, I forgot you're a girl” Harry laughed at my instability.

I punched him in the shoulder for his remark, and Harry playfully shoved me into the hallway, causing me to bump right into...

Cedric.

Chapter Text

Three.

Running headfirst into Cedric Diggory was not how I was planning to encounter him at the christmas party.

“Y/N?” Cedric said.

Looking up at Cedric the butterflies intensified in my stomach. Distracting myself the whole break from thinking about my crush did nothing to lessen the infatuation I felt for him.

“Uh, hi Cedric,” I replied, “I’m sorry I bumped into you.”

Cedric smiled and said, “Not a problem,” eyeing my christmas cup, he added, “You alright?”

“I’m not, like, drunk if that’s what you’re asking,” I replied with a giggle.

“Yes, she is.” George appeared next to Cedric and me, pouring a heavy splash of fire whiskey into both of our cups and waltzing away.

Cedric gave his cup a swirl and said, “I guess you really have to watch your cup at a Weasley Christmas party,” he clinked our cups together and we both took a sip. While we drank I eyed Cedric over the lip of my cup, really drinking in the fact that he was standing right in front of me. When his soft brown eyes met mine, I felt a jolt in my stomach and quickly looked away.

“So, um, how has your break been?” I asked.

“Sorry Y/N, just give me one second,” Cedric said and he was gone, leaving me alone in the hallway.

I felt frozen and embarrassed. Why had I let my schoolgirl crush blind me into thinking Cedric would want anything to do with me? I should have known I would be left with nothing but a feeling of disappointment on this night; that’s the problem with letting yourself get excited.

⟡⟡⟡

Hermione, Ron, and Harry, always my saving grace, swept me up into our favorite game of seeing how many Christmas crackers we could stack on Percy’s hat without him noticing. The record breaking 27 crackers cheered me up a bit after my awkward encounter with Cedric.

I resolved myself to chase no longer. Keeping it classy was my new priority. Not the easiest task after the shots of fire whiskey the four of us snuck in the bathroom. When the last drink started to make my head go spinning, I quietly sneaked outside to get some fresh air.

I sat on the stairs leading up to the Burrow porch, only slightly aware of the freezing temperature. After a night with a few confusing moments, my head was blissfully empty, and I reveled in this, simply relaxing in my own company.

When suddenly I heard the door open behind me. Without even looking I could sense who it was. Somehow, Cedric could change the energy of any room he walked in. Perhaps imperceptible to other people, or just the impact of puppy love.

“Mind if I sit?” Cedric asked softly, sitting next to me before I could respond. “Y/N, I’m sorry for ditching you earlier.”

Keep it classy and calm I repeated to myself.

“Don’t worry about it.” I replied “I really don’t care.”

A little more curt than calm, but I guess that’s okay.

“It is okay if you do care,” Cedric smiled, “I truly had to go-- I saw my father approaching us with that look in his eye like he was going to brag in incessant detail about ‘my son Cedric’s perfect three-second quidditch run last season’,” Cedric sain in a pitch perfect impersonation of his father, Amos. "And that monologue can potentially last for hours."

I laughed.

“Seriously,” he continued, “It was for your sake and sanity that I ducked away into a closet.”

We were sat directly next to each other, legs pressed against one another. I smiled at him, unable to find words. It was silent for a second; I didn’t want to speak and break the trance. I was hyper-aware of all the places his body was touching mine. I moved my hand up, about to tuck my hair behind my ear, when Cedric’s hand beat me to it.

“Are you sure you’re not cold?” Cedric whispered, grazing his fingertips over my admittedly frozen cheekbone.

Before I could answer, a soft blanket began to float down from the awning above us, as if it was a leaf falling from a tree. Cedric and I looked up and saw Hermione’s curls flouncing back inside. The magically warm quilt wrapped itself around the two of us, almost forcing us to move minutely closer together.

“She’s like a nagging mother sometimes,” I sighed, “She would say, ‘don’t catch a cold just to sit with some boy.’”

“But don’t forget,” Cedric said softly, “I came out here to sit with you. And I don’t want to catch a cold either,” he smirked.

His thumb again grazed my cheek, tracing a gentle circle. I found myself lost in his deep, brown eyes when suddenly, he was leaning in. Our lips met and I was sure he could feel my heart racing. As we kissed, his hand remained cupping my cheek. I reached out to grab the back of his neck, my fingers gently tugging his hair. His first kiss was gentle and soft; when I kissed back, it became needier. His tongue met mine and circled my mouth, prompting me to let out a small moan. He smiled against my lips, breaking the rhythm ever so slightly.

I felt him pull away slightly and I did the same, not wanting to seem like an overeager child. He looked out at the landscape again contemplatively, then, as if reaching a decision, he looked back into my eyes with a look that can only be described as desire. He crashed his lips into mine, once again, this time with a passion and intent greater than before. He eased his arm around my waist and gently laid me down as the kiss deepened. Soon, he was basically lying on top of me, with his thigh between my legs. I felt his arousal pressing on my leg, matching the throbbing I felt deep in my own core. Cedric began making a line of kisses from my cheek to my neck, he nipped and licked with each kiss, almost expertly. It was then that I remembered what I was doing and who I was doing it with. 

Our kiss lasted some time; I felt comforted in his arms and warm in the enchanted blanket. It’s hard to recall who pulled away, but we eventually sat up, still snug in the blanket.

“Y/N,” Cedric murmured. “You’ve really grown up.”

I was filled with happiness at this, and prayed that my blush was not visible on my face.

Cedric’s eyes traced over my face and landed on the emerald necklace Draco gave to me.

“I noticed this necklace the other day,” he said, “The green matches your eyes.”

“Thank you,” I said, “It was… a gift.”

“Very generous gifter, I must say.”

“Very generous indeed.”

⟡⟡⟡

I LOVE this chapter. Xmas vibes are sublime.

Ced as a Conrad crush>>> everything to me.

Chapter Text

Four.

The train ride back to school after break always felt bittersweet to me. The buildup and excitement around Christmas abruptly ends and then back to regular life we go. This Christmas break in particular had been unexpectedly and wildly memorable.

I had kissed Cedric. My obsessive crush for as long as I could remember had kissed me. But when I thought about the kiss, which I did compulsively, why did my mind involuntarily flit to another boy, the back of my neck stinging ice cold with where his slender fingers had clasped my necklace. I couldn’t seem to separate the two in my mind.

I sat with my knees to my chest and my head resting against the wall of the train. Harry and Ron were eating snacks from the trolley, and Hermione was reading ahead in her Transfiguration textbook.

I broke the silence by saying, “I’m a little bit sad to be going back to Hogwarts. I had such a lovely Christmas break,”

“We know you did,” Ron sputtered, his mouth full of chocolate.

I noticed Harry flash Ron a pointed look as if he said something he shouldn’t have.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I said, glaring between Ron and Harry.

“Look, Y/N,” Harry said, “You shouldn’t be mad; you see, me and Ron were sloshed at the time, and well…”

“We saw you and old Ceddy snogging on my porch,” Ron finished.

“You WHAT?” Hermione and I both cried out.

“To be perfectly honest, Y/N,” Harry said, “I think you ought to watch yourself around him. These older boys try to get the younger girls wrapped around their fingers, and then they treat them horribly,”

“Too right, Harry,” Ron agreed, “I mean, just look how Dean messed up Ginny.”

“Ginny is not messed up,” Hermione responded, “And let’s please go back to the fact that you two were watching Y/N and Cedric; how gross and rude,”

“It was Fred and George that saw ‘em in the first place,” Ron said defensively, “We were all proper pissed, mind you; they called us over and we could, you know, see everything from the window.”

“There wasn’t anything to see!” I objected.

“We didn’t watch for long,” Ron continued, “But from what I did witness, there was definitely something to see.”

“This is so humiliating,” I said, burying my face in my hands, “Please just don’t tell anyone, seriously,”

They all agreed. We also decided not to speak of it again, as it was “probably just a holiday fling,” as Ron put it.

⟡⟡⟡

Soon, we were back at Hogwarts. The train arrived later than usual, so the Great hall had only small sandwiches and fruit for a quick meal to send the students off to bed as soon as possible.

While eating dinner, Harry and Ron’s concerns rang in my head. I was determined to not be wrapped around Cedric’s finger. In fact, I truthfully wanted the opposite, deep down. I decided that I wouldn’t give him any more attention than deserved; I wouldn’t scan for him in each room I entered, or expect him to talk to me or do anything else for that matter. My mind would be completely and totally focused on my schoolwork. 

But then I noticed Draco at the Slytherin table. He wasn’t eating, just looking intently at me. He didn’t even look away when I met his eyes. So much for ignoring boys…

It was then that Hermione, Ron, and Harry decided to pack up and head for the Gryffindor common room. As I stood up, I noticed that Draco did too, still staring. He started walking towards the door at the same time as my friends and me; when we got to the door, I told the others to go ahead, I would just be a minute.

As my friends turned left, walking to the common room, I slowed down and turned right, ending up in the same corridor where Draco had given me the necklace a few weeks prior.

“Y/N,” I heard him say.

 I turned around to see Draco leaning against the wall of the corridor.

“Hi, Draco,” I took a step towards him and he stayed propped against the wall. “How was your break?”

“Fine,”

“Okay,” I said slowly, “Can I ask why you were staring at me in the Great hall and following me out?”

 Suddenly, he reached out and traced the chain of my necklace leaving goosebumps on my collarbone.

“I haven’t seen you in a while,” he muttered

“It’s been a week, Draco,”

“Exactly,” he said.

I chewed my lip for a second, pondering.“Can I ask something else?” I frowned, “Why give me a Christmas gift, why follow me out here, all out of the blue?”

Draco just shook his head slowly and smiled to himself. This whole conversation was quite confusing to me.

Despite my attempts to be still, my fingers fidgeted and laced together defiantly. “I didn’t even know you liked me,” I went on, “like, as a friend.”

“Well,” Draco said slowly, “I do…”

Then he abruptly turned on his heel and began walking into the corridor. I was stunned for a moment (he does what?), and Draco said, “Follow me”.

“What?” I sighed trailing after him, “Where are we going?”

“You’ll see,” was all he said.

After a few minutes of turning down various corridors seemingly at random, he stopped in front of a large arched doorway.

“The library?” I asked, exasperatedly, “Seriously, Draco?”

“Not too keen on new experiences are you?” He said playfully, “Just trust me.”

He is definitely the last person I would trust.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the library. It was fully dark outside and the large windows bordering the library were illuminated by the bright winter moon.

He continued through the library and as we turned through several aisles, I looked down to see his hand, still holding mine. Eventually, Draco stopped directly in front of a bookshelf featuring books on stars, astronomy, and constellations. He dropped my hand and pulled out his wand. His wand pushed it into a book on the top shelf titled “Begheart’s Luminary Guide to the Stars”. The book sank into the shelf half way, then, all the books on the wall parted to reveal a door shaped entrance in the middle of the shelf. What was this place?

He stepped into the doorway and I followed. As soon as I stepped inside the secret room, the books snapped back together and resumed their original position; the door was gone. I turned from the shelf to examine the room and let out a small gasp. We were in a large glass conservatory, yet still inside the library. A few telescopes lined the fully furnished room, the window-wall curved outward presenting the lush landscape Hogwarts rested on, but more impressively, the huge night sky full of stars.

“Draco, what is this place?” I looked at him and found that he was already looking at me, gauging my reaction.

“It’s just my space among the stars,” he said nonchalantly.

“But, how did you find it?”

“I’m a Slytherin, remember? Cunning and ambitious and sneaky…”

I was quiet for a second, just taking in the view from the conservatory.

“Y/N,” he said, “I wanted to show you this place because it’s somewhere we can be alone-- no judgement from friends or whoever,” he trailed off.

“But, why?” I asked, “I still don’t understand what you want from me.”

He grabbed my hand again then suddenly yanked me toward him, his arm wrapping around my waist. I sharply inhaled at the quick movement. Our faces were inches apart.

“Because I’m mad about you,” Draco said.

“Draco,” I began to say, breathlessly, but was cut off by Draco crashing his lips into mine.

I was taken by surprise but after a beat I kissed him back. His hands moved up and down my waist as my own hands clasped around his neck, toying with his hair. A hand clasped my ass and lifted me up gently. I yelped in surprise and hooked my legs around his hips. 

Draco took a step back and fell into a tall armchair that furnished the room, with me landing on top of him. His kisses became more passionate, his tongue slipping into my mouth fervently. His hands roamed my body, his strong arms holding me up. 

I found myself, once again, locking lips with a boy I could have never predicted.

My kiss with Draco felt more spirited, he charged with more resolve and purpose, rather than a laid-back exploration of each other. Why was I comparing my kiss with Draco to my kiss with Cedric? How did my life become like this?

I could feel myself getting in my head with the comparisons as I suddenly felt Draco shift under me, aligning my hips directly above his arousal. I was very aware of the few layers of fabric between us. Any movement rocked and grinded me over Draco’s hips, causing an overwhelming sensation.

But I pulled away from him. With everything that was happening with the kiss, I felt guilty and burdened by my drifting thoughts.

“I’m sorry Draco,” I started.

“Hey, it’s okay.” He said, “I can move as slow as you need.”

Need. 

Need. The word reverberated in my skull. I curled up next to him and laid my head on his chest, shocked to feel tears spring to my eyes. Why did you ruin a good moment? I silently cursed myself. Draco is right in front of you and is clearly mad about you. What was I doing?

The emotion and passion of the evening caused my head to spin and soon enough I drifted to sleep in Draco’s arms, but not before I felt a single kiss gently laid upon my temple.

⟡⟡⟡

Chapter Text

Five.

I woke up a few hours later curled up on Draco’s chest, embraced in his arms and gently rising and falling with each breath he took.

As I grew more aware of my surroundings, and remembered I was in Draco’s secret observatory within the library. Everything that had happened began to sink in. I looked up at Draco; he was still asleep. I dared not move to wake him up, but tried to slide out from under him quietly.

Draco began to stir, his eyes fluttering open, and his arm that was loosely around my waist immediately tightened, pulling me back into his chest.

“Draco,” I whispered, “I’ve got to go… I didn’t mean to fall asleep,”

“What time is it...” he mumbled, eyes closing again.

“Probably like three in the morning?” I responded, gently pulling his arm off my body.

Draco finally began to sit up, “Before you go,” he started as I stood up to leave, “today’s December 31st.”

“It is,” I said, making my way to the shelf, where the books started to separate again, revealing the door.

“Ravenclaw’s annual New Years' party. I want to see you there.” he murmured, eyes closing. He seemed to have fallen back asleep.

I took one last glance at him, then ducked out of the secret room.

⟡⟡⟡

“Draco?!!!” Hermione hissed, “When were you going to tell me about you two?”

I was filling in Hermione the next morning, once I had finally gotten some sufficient sleep.

“There’s not really an ‘us’ to speak of…” I explained, “It just started with the necklace-- right before break, and then… last night…” I trailed off.

“I cannot believe you almost spent the whole night out of the dorm with Draco of all people,” Hermione said, pacing around the (thankfully empty) dormitory, “and what about the Cedric of it all?”

“I don't know, Hermione.” I sighed, “Can we please just go to breakfast. I’m starving.”

⟡⟡⟡

In the great hall, a few girls were already talking about the New Year's party at Ravenclaw.

“I saw them setting up already,” Luna said, “it’s sort of got a disco theme, y’know disco balls, neon lights, It’s quite pretty.”

“But Luna,” Hermione asked, “are all houses allowed in? I mean, how will everyone fit?”

“A few seventh years have been studying room enlargement charms,” Luna replied, “but I assume that only fifth years and above would be allowed in.”

“What, are there gonna be bouncers at the door?” I joked.

“Why, yes,” Luna said, “Our two house trolls, Boot and Belby.”

The group of girls erupted in laughter, and all agreed we had to go, even if just to see the house trolls.

⟡⟡⟡

The day flew by, and soon enough, the girl’s dormitory was a mess of clothes, makeup, and bewitched hair rollers scattered around the room.

I had decided on a silver slip dress from the dress shop in Hogsmeade. Its shiny material appeared to shimmer and flow around the figure. Getting ready with magic made the whole process much faster than at the Christmas party. With the Burrow party on my mind, my thoughts kept wandering to that night porch with Cedric. I had to stop. I spent the night with Draco last night. Since when was I the type to flit between two guys with no allegiance? It felt disrespectful to lead either of them on.

Tonight I wanted to spend with my girlfriends; no obsessing and definitely no New Year’s kiss.

My hair was curled in soft ringlets framing my face thanks to the self-rolling hair rollers. As I brushed through the curls with my fingers, I made a last-minute decision to take off Draco's emerald necklace that I had started to wear every day. Wearing it made me think of too many recent encounters, its icy touch a constant reminder. I instead opted for a silver chain with one strand hanging low.

“I love that necklace, Y/N,” Hermione smirked, “very… provocative.”

I rolled my eyes at her. “So, when should we leave? Soon?”

“Actually,” Lavender Brown said excitedly, “I have a surprise!”

 She brought out a bottle of champagne from under her bed. With a flourish from her wand the glass bottle became frosted with ice, chilling the contents. The cork was popped and glasses were poured.

“To the new year!” we all cheered, clinking our glasses.

It was shaping up to be a fun girls' night.

Until we arrived at the party.

Unfortunately, the other girls hadn’t made the same ‘girls-only’ promise to themselves. The moment we had passed the trolls, Boot and Belby, my friends had all run off to get the attention of the boys. Even Hermione was giggling sitting next to Ron; and while I was happy for her, I was feeling extremely abandoned.

I wondered if this was how Hermione had felt, that night of the Christmas party.

And suddenly, there he was, like just thinking of that night summoned him. Cedric had walked into the Ravenclaw common room looking as handsome as ever. For some time I had wondered if my schoolgirl crush on the boy had made him seem more attractive to me, but no, he was objectively gorgeous. His eyes skirted the newly expanded room, decked out in mirrorballs, lights, and glowing stars pasted on the ceiling.

I sighed and turned to the refreshment table, pouring myself another glass of champagne. Then I noticed a bottle of muggle vodka on the table. I poured myself a shot into a disposable cup, quickly downed it, and then sipped my champagne as a sort of chaser.

“Looks like you’re not taking it easy tonight, huh?” I heard Cedric’s voice say behind me.

I turned around to face him, his eyes tracing my necklace right down to the decolletage revealed in my dress. Hermione was right.

“Well,” I said, “my friends left me immediately...so…. happy New Year?”

“Happy New Year.” Cedric laughed, “Care for another shot?”

⟡⟡⟡

Chapter Text

Six.

After doing shots, Cedric and I found ourselves sitting on a sofa quite drunk.

“You know, I told myself I wasn’t going to talk to any guys tonight.” I said loudly over the music.

“Yeah? And why was that?" Cedric responded flirtatiously, "Surely not because of me?”

“No. Not because of you. Or, not just because of you.”

“Well, surely it’s also not because of…” he leaned in closer, almost whispering, “what happened between us…”

His voice sent chills up my body, I couldn’t help it. In my drunken state, I began to forget exactly why I wanted to stay away from boys. Cedric’s company felt extremely right at the moment.

“What happened between us,” I said, crossing my leg towards him, “seemed like just a Christmas thing.”

“Sure,” Cedric replied, smirking, “Christmas, New Years’, whenever the time’s right, really.”

I couldn’t help but laugh.

“I like your new necklace very much,” Cedric said, his eyes once again tracing the chain low.

“Oh, do you?” I said, giggling, “What is it with you and my jewelry?”

“I think it just shows that you like beautiful things as much as I do,” Cedric said reaching out his hand, his thumb barely grazing over my bottom lip, his eyes never leaving my mouth.

I swallowed and stood up, “I am going to refill my drink,” I said, “Would you like me to get yours?”

“I’ll go with you,” Cedric said, standing up.

I poured myself a glass of champagne, then turned around and faced the party, sipping while Cedric poured his glass. As I was looking out into the crowded room, I noticed Draco walking straight towards me.

My heart fluttered in my chest, and I began to smile at him, but then noticed his crooked way of walking and the glazed look in his eyes— Draco Malfoy was exceptionally drunk.

As he wonkily walked towards me, the look in his eyes scared me and my stomach dropped. Suddenly, he was directly in front of me.

“Oi, Y/N!” he slurred, “Oh, fuckin hell you took my fuckin necklace off?”

“Draco, please just—”

“Please, what?” Draco continued, “Y’know that necklace— it was— ah, fuck it.”

Draco’s voice grew harsher, and when he took a step towards me, I stepped backwards, colliding with the refreshment table.

“Oi! Malfoy!” Cedric shouted from the other side of the table. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“Oh-ho-ho,” Draco sang out, “Not Cedric fuckin’ Diggory.” Draco grabbed my wrists and pulled me towards him, thrusting his face directly to my ear. “You do remember who I am, right?”

It was then that Cedric shoved Draco off of me, pushing him into the center of the room.

“Just fuckin’ leave her alone mate, alright?”

“She may fancy you tonight,” Draco growled, “but you should’ve seen her last night, man, she was—”

“Silencio!” Cedric hexed Draco and gave him one final push out of the room.

I could feel my face heating up and my heart begin to race. Some people in the party began to look in my direction. I swiftly grabbed a bottle of champagne and stormed out of the main room. Maybe drinking away the problem wasn’t the most mature way to handle it, but it sure felt like the easiest solution.

I ended up in some sort of Ravenclaw trophy room. I collapsed onto the ground, and all I could see was my face reflected in the glass all around me. I buried my face in my hands and began to cry softly, the bottle of champagne rolled around the room and hit the door. After a few minutes I heard the door creak open, the glass bottle clanging to the side. 

I looked up and saw Cedric walk in timidly.

“I was looking for you,” he said quietly, “You alright?”

“I’m… fine,” I said shakily, “I guess I’m just a bit rattled.”

“Yeah,” he said, “We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,”

I shook my head. “Yeah, no. But thank you… for everything,”

“Well, you know,” he said, “haven’t gotten to use silencio in real life, so that was cool.”

“Cool…” I repeated, looking down at my knees and pulling them closer to my chest.

Cedric walked over and sat next to me. He tentatively wrapped his arms around me and I graciously leaned into him. My head was on his chest and my arms wrapped loosely around his torso. His finger gently traced circles on my arm.

We sat in silence for a minute when, suddenly, Cedric lowered his head and planted a kiss squarely on my mouth.

“What was that for?” I asked, looking up at him.

“It’s midnight.” he replied, “Didn’t you hear them cheering out there?”

“Guess my mind was elsewhere…” I muttered.

A beat of silence passed.

“I like protecting you, Y/N,” Cedric said quietly, “I know that may sound macho or whatever, but it is true.”

No one had ever said anything like that to me. I took in his words slowly, and there they were again, the butterflies in my stomach.

“The first time I saw you,” Cedric went on, “you were a first year, and it was your very first night at Hogwarts. You were separated from all the other first years and lost. You seemed so sad and innocent, I had to help. I couldn’t let Percy Weasley be the one to comfort you. And so I walked you back to your common room.”

Recalling that night, tears stung my eyes, “You remember that?” I asked.

He nodded.

“I feel like such a weak little kid around you,” I said, “Like I’m still that little girl that needs protecting.”

“No,” Cedric said, “I can confidently say that you have definitely grown into a woman.”

“You said that I was grown up after we kissed at the Burrow.” I pointed out.

“Because it’s true.” Cedric smiled, “That was a fun night.”

I sat up, finally feeling happy for the first time since entering the trophy room. Though it was past midnight, the party persisted outside. Loud singing was drowned out by even louder music.

“You can go back out there,” I said, “you don’t have to stay in here with me.”

“I don’t mind.” he said.

“I actually think I should turn in,” I sighed, “It’s been a long night.”

“Want me to walk you back to the common?” Cedric grinned, “for old times sake, of course.”

I fluttered my eyelashes coyly, saying, “What would I do without my protector?”

⟡⟡⟡

We wandered through the moonlit corridors, our arms swinging dangerously close to the other’s.

"You looked beautiful tonight, Y/N," Cedric said.

“Thank you," I blushed, "For the record, I think I’m still drunk.” I admitted.

“For the record,” Cedric said, “same.”

I smiled and felt our hands imperceptibly brush as we kept walking. We finally reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, and the night had come to a close.

“I hope tonight isn’t a sign of how this year is going to go for me.” I said wistfully.

“It might be,” Cedric said, “but what’s so bad about that?”

I looked up at him.

“We can at least end tonight on a good note,” Cedric said and he pulled me into a kiss, incomparable to the one we shared at midnight, this one feverish and passionate. I relaxed into the kiss, feeling weightless in his arms.

I was pushed up against the wall as the kiss grew deeper, even more so than it had been at the christmas party. Cedric kissed and nipped down my neck; I closed my eyes and relished in the feeling, completely enraptured at the pleasure of the moment. I silently made a New Year’s wish that this moment would last forever.

But an impossible wish is destined to be unfulfilled. Cedric pulled away, and all I wanted to do was jump back into his arms and prolong this moment even just a little bit. Still craving his mouth on mine, I straightened up, my chest heaving, breathless from the kiss.

Cedric gently brushed my hair behind my ear and whispered, “Good night, Y/N". His hand grazed down my arm as it fell back to his side, leaving a trail of chills in its wake.

Chewing on my lip, I wordlessly turned and entered the common room as if in a trance. As I made my way to my dorm, I thought to myself, he could do nothing and I would still be head over heels. I don’t know what to do with his attention.

I collapsed into bed, and fell into a dreamless sleep.

⟡⟡⟡

Chapter Text

Seven.

I awoke to an empty dormitory. The other girls had gone to breakfast and left me to continue sleeping.

My head was pounding with a splitting headache. As I sat up in bed, memories of the previous night came rushing back to me. I cringed remembering the horrible way Malfoy had acted at the New Year’s party, and how comforting Cedric had been towards me. “I like protecting you,” he had said. I wish I wasn’t the type of person who would need protecting. It was all Malfoy, his behavior was simply atrocious, and the way he spoke to me in front of the whole party, in front of Ced–

My thoughts were interrupted by Hermione returning from breakfast. Always my guardian angel, she came bearing a plate of breakfast; four slices of buttered toast, the most beautiful sight in the world.

I thanked her profusely and scarfed down the toast one after another. Promising to explain to her everything that had happened, we rushed out the door– it was the first day of class and we couldn’t be late.

In the hallway I gave Hermione a summary of my night; getting drunk, Malfoy assholery, getting more drunk, Cedric kiss. Hermione made me promise to talk about it later before we had to part ways, heading to different classes.

I arrived to History of Magic and sat at a desk secluded in the corner, craving time to stare out the window and be alone with my thoughts. Before I could retreat into my mind, someone plunked down in the seat next to me right as Professor Binns began addressing the class.

You have to be kidding me. Draco.

“Y/N,” He whispered, “please just give me one minute to—”

“Quiet, please, in the back, students,” Professor Binns scolded, “It’s very important that you all listen to my instructions.”

I could not hide my annoyance at Draco and his incessant attempts to whisper to me.

“I am trying to listen,” I hissed, “so please stop.”

Draco shook his head and sat back in his chair, fidgeting, seemingly unable to keep still.

Good, I thought, Let him be uncomfortable.

“As a gesture of goodwill in celebration of this New Year,” Professor Binns declared in his droning voice, “today’s class assignment will send you out on the grounds to find key historical landmarks with a partner.”

At this last remark, the class began to stir to find their partner. 

The ghost professor added quickly, “For convenience sake, your partner will be the person you share a desk with, goodbye.” And with that he disappeared with a small pop.

A worksheet appeared on the desk between Draco and I, labeled with our names and a small map showing the landmark we were to find.

“Of. Course.” I exhaled, pinching the bridge of my nose. 

⟡⟡⟡

I marched out of the nearest courtyard and down a large set of stairs, with Draco trailing behind me, still attempting to interject.

“I, seriously, do not want to hear anything from you right now, Draco.” I snapped.

“Okay, and I get that,” he stammered, “but I have to say something.”

I shot him the dirtiest look I could muster, but still he persisted.

“I know I hurt you last night, and my behavior was wrong.”

“You think so?”

“I’m not trying to justify anything, I just can’t let you think I would ever say those things to you in my right mind.”

“But you did say those things,” I interrupted, “End of story.”

“I feel really ashamed, Y/N,”

“And?”

“And, I- I want to make it better.” he stopped walking, “Please can I make it better?”

I stopped walking and faced him. “I don’t see how you can.”

I turned on my heel and kept moving away from the castle. The nerve of this kid.

We had passed Hagrid’s hut and the map had us continue along the perimeter of the Forbidden Forest. As I felt the cold air from the forest sweep across my skin, I slowed my pace. This hardened exterior was not the type of person that I wanted to be, no matter how annoyed I was.

“You know…” I started, “I haven’t even had time today to process what happened last night.”

Draco’s large gray eyes looked intently into my own, almost pitifully.

“And, I’m not a grudge-holding type of person,” I continued, “I understand that you were drunk. I was just extra hurt last night, because… you had been so nice to me before.” 

I trailed my fingers along the first line of trees in the forest, feeling the rough bark scrape my delicate fingertips.

Draco was smart enough to stay silent as I worked out my thoughts.

“I wanted to believe so bad that you actually liked me, that you weren’t this cold, horrible person that Harry and Ron think you are.” I snapped off a small twig from a tree and held it in the palm of my hand. “But last night was horrible and so, so humiliating.” I tossed the twig deep into the forest and turned to face Draco.

“I know.” Draco murmured, “And I wish I could justify myself beyond the cliches; alcohol, insecurity……not being able to grapple with… how I feel about you.”

We came upon the landmark. A small cave with a flimsy dock in the water on the far end of the Black Lake. 

Staring at the cave I said, “My head is so scrambled I can’t even think about finishing this assignment.”

“Is it scrambled from me or the hangover?” Draco smiled gently, “Mostly me, right?”

“A bit of both.”

There was a beat of silence.

“I think I’m just over this whole situation.” I said, “I now know another side of you, a side when you lose control. If I give you any more of my time, it’s because I want to see the person who you were at first. The person who gave me the necklace and showed me the observatory.” 

Draco nodded solemnly.

“So, let’s just keep moving forward.” I continued, “But if I see that other side again, we are done.”

“Understood.”

I sighed. “Okay, history time.”

We turned to face the cave, “Revelio,” we said simultaneously. The floor began to glow with magic, revealing a stone compartment etched with words. The cave was historically a sanctuary for negotiations between the ancient merpeople and wizards. I knelt on the floor of the cave to begin copying down the ancient writings on the stone.

“Y/N,” Draco said slowly, “stay very, very still.”

He was staring past my head with an unnerving look in his eye.

Frightened, I said, “Draco, what is it?” 

“It’s okay… it’s just…... a…... grindylow!—STUPEFY!” He shouted, aiming behind me.

I rolled out of the way and leapt behind him, hiding behind his back.

I watched as the nightmarish water creature got stunned back into the Black Lake in a great arc, its huge sharp teeth glinting in the sunlight. The creature must have been creeping up behind me out of the water.

Draco turned to face me. “Are you okay?”

“Merlin’s beard, Draco,” I said, my hand flying to my chest, “My heart is racing.”

He gently placed his hand over my own resting on my heart.

“Thank you. For stunning it.” I finally said.

“I promise it’s the least I can do. I know you would have gotten it yourself if you were facing the water.” Draco assured, “So… I think we’ve gathered enough experience to finish this paper from the castle.”

“I agree.”

⟡⟡⟡

Chapter Text

Eight.

After the end of a long first day of term, Hermione and I sat on our favorite sofa in the Gryffindor common room. I was recounting to her, in excruciating detail, everything that had happened up until this point.

“I cannot believe that you’ve kissed Cedric TWICE now.” She said animatedly.

“Honestly,” I admitted, “me neither.”

“If you can be romanced by Cedric himself, anything could be possible. I mean, I could be the Minister of Magic by next year.”

“Thank you for that, Hermione.”

“But the Draco piece of things,” She went on, “That is tricky.”

“More like impossible…” I muttered

“Have you fully forgiven him? I mean he did save your life from a Grindylow at the Lake today.”

“It’s complicated.”

“I would say just about every part of your life is complicated right now. Are you sure you’re not using one of Fred and George’s Love Potions? I’m ninety percent sure it’s just bubble bath liquid in  a heart shaped bottle.”

“No, I’m not using a love potion. But sometimes it does feel like someone cast a spell on me, considering how fast my life has changed.”

Harry and Ron plopped onto the sofa, still chattering about the night’s quidditch practice. Hoping that the boys didn’t hear, I said to Hermione, “Thank you for lending an ear. I really needed to tell you everything.”.

She gave me a quick side hug and said, “Of course! If you ever want advice, I’d be happy to help, it just seems like now you should just let it be. Have fun with it!”

“Have fun with what?” Ron asked.

“Fun with her… Potions assignment, y’know ‘brew anything for extra credit’, due Friday.”

Ron exaggeratedly covered his ears, “Please! No school talk! We just finished eight hours of hearing about the stuff, give me a break, I beg.”

I laughed and leaned back on the sofa, happy that at least these friendships had remained stable through all the recent changes.

⟡⟡⟡

The four of us continued to chatter late into the night. When I looked up to see the fire had died out, we realized that we were the only ones left in the common room. We decided to turn in for the night.

Hermione and I made our way up to the girls dormitory. I grabbed a pair of warm pajamas from my trunk, and as I pulled them over my head, I noticed a small black box resting daintily on my pillow. I picked up the box and turned it around in my hand. It was embellished with tiny black stars, and there was a delicate black velvet ribbon secured around the box and tied into a precise bow. The stars invoked my memory of the night Draco and I shared in the observatory, a reminder of the person I wanted him to be. On the underside of the box, tucked into the velvet ribbon was a small square of creamy thick parchment.

I pulled the note out and felt a pang in my heart as I began to read the writing.

In his distinguished, neat penmanship it read simply, “Everything we talked about, at the lake, I remember. And will always remember. Draco”

I slid the ribbon off, and opened the box gently. Lying on soft fabric was a small heart shaped pendant of fine silver. A dainty image of a mermaid was engraved on the back of the pendant. I picked up the heart charm; it felt solid and cold resting in the palm of my hand. 

Hermione walked out of the bathroom, and an inquisitive look rose on her face as she noticed the box and note. I opened my hand to reveal the pendant. Hermione examined it and the note thoroughly.

Looking around to make sure the other girls in the dorm were fast asleep, she whispered, “Why a mermaid?”

“It’s from our history assignment today,” I replied quietly.

I saw Hermione’s lips upturn at this; a heartfelt gift inspired by schoolwork was, of course, impressive to her. Her hand closed my fingers over the charm and patted my fingers gently, saying softly, “That’s sweet.”

I fell asleep with the heart still in my hand.

⟡⟡⟡

I woke up early, before anyone else in the dormitory. Opening the drawer in my bedside table, I pulled out the ornate emerald necklace Draco had originally gifted me. As I suspected, the new heart charm slid perfectly into place, complimenting the emerald pendant at the center of the chain. I held the necklace up to my collarbone, but hurriedly stuffed it back into the drawer and shut it.

It was cold and misty outside, and there were still a few hours before breakfast began. I put on my thickest wool socks under my boots and a warm scarf around my neck. With my school bag over my shoulder, I slipped out of the dorm and made my way outside the castle. 

Outside of the Transfiguration courtyard, there was a small bridge across the grounds. I turned left before the bridge and strolled down a modest and unassuming set of stairs, easy to overlook.

Under the bridge sat a stone patio. Two candles in sconces lay on the wall, and I cast Incendio to light them, their warmth far exceeding that of a typical candle. Sitting on a wrought iron bench, I pulled out my leather bound journal and a quill. I flipped through the first few pages, written many years ago by a lovesick child. Cedric, Cedric, Cedric, written in flowery, curlicued cursive over and over and over. My pointer finger drew over the writing, tracing every flourish and loop, remembering the affection I felt in writing this.

If only that little girl knew all that would happen with Cedric.

I flipped to a fresh page and wrote for a while. I noted down recent events, and finally had the chance to confront my own feelings toward everything, at long last alone in my secret patio under the bridge, kept warm from my layers and the candles.

⟡⟡⟡

Later, after a full day of classes, I sat in Defense against the Dark Arts, my last class of the day. Professor Lupin explained that an optional study session for next week’s exam would be held after class concluded, hosted by an older student. Hermione and I looked at each other, wordlessly agreeing to stay. After my private time under the bridge early that morning, I had felt serene and at peace all day, focusing on school work and studying rather than external circumstances.

As class wrapped up, Hermione pulled out a bar of chocolate from her bag, my favorite from Honeydukes., and placed it between us on the desk. “Energy for studying,” she explained and broke off a piece for herself.

Someone cleared their throat at the front of the classroom, and I looked up to see Cedric.

Professor Lupin addressed the class saying, “I trust you all will give Mr. Diggory your undivided attention,” he patted Cedric on the back, “He excelled in this course when he was your age, and is only here to help you lot. So, begin your studying!”

Cedric gave a sheepish smile and looked up from his shoes. His eyes met mine and his bashful smile turned into a sly grin. I felt a jolt in my stomach as I remembered tracing his name over and over just this morning, Cedric, Cedric, Cedric.

Why did it feel like he knew? Like his grin was from knowing all of my inner thoughts and feelings.

Hermione kicked my shin under the desk as if I didn’t notice who was at the front of the room. I exasperatedly rested my head in my hand and began flipping through my textbook.

“I understand you all have been studying defensive magic throughout history,” Cedric said to the class, after Lupin left the room, “So it may be beneficial to organize your notes into a timeline. I’ll give you all time to work on your own and can answer questions you may come across.” 

I began writing on parchment, sketching out a timeline of the subject we were studying. Across the room a girl raised her hand and Cedric walked over to help. My eyes were drawn to him as he crossed the room, his hand gently placed on top of the student’s chair. I forced myself to continue working on my notes, when I felt Cedric pass behind me. He crouched beside my desk, eye level with me. I was close enough to inhale his woody, comforting smell. Snap out of it! You're in a classroom full of people, Y/N.

“Your timeline is looking good, Y/N,” he said softly, “Though it is interesting you’re starting with the last event and working backwards.”

His hand rested on my paper and I became aware of the space between our fingers.

“I think the earlier events are harder to remember,” I said under my breath, “so I like to study them last so they stick with me.”

Cedric tilted his head, still looking in my eyes. Then he reached across me, snapped off a square of the bar of chocolate, and placed it in his mouth.

“Whatever you want,” he murmured, “I mean, whatever works for you.”

He stood up and went to sit at the front of the classroom. After that, there was no chance I could focus on defensive magic. I resorted to copying word-for-word from the textbook, knowing that no information would stick in my head.

Half an hour flew by, and one by one students started leaving the classroom. Lavender, the only one left besides Hermione and I, approached our desk and said, “I think I’m just about done. Would you girls like to join me for hot cocoa in the common room? A little reward for our hard work today?”

“I’ll go with you,” Hermione said brightly, “I think Y/N, still has a bit more work to finish.”

I narrowed my eyes at Hermione, half irritated and half happy with her decision. The two of them left and shut the door to the classroom behind them, and it was just me and Cedric left in the classroom.

I stood up and walked toward Cedric sitting at the teacher’s desk.

“Did you like playing teacher today, Cedric?” 

“I did.” He replied, “And I think you’re an A plus student, no favoritism, I promise.”

“Not even a little?” I asked coyly, stepping around and sitting on the edge of the teacher’s desk.

“Okay, maybe a little,” he said standing up. He stepped toward me and moved his leg marginally between my knees on the desk, parting them slightly. I sat up straighter and looked up into his deep, brown eyes.

He leaned over me, placing his arms on the desk on either side of me.

“I haven’t seen you since New Year’s.” he kissed my lips slowly. “How has your year been thus far?” he asked before planting his mouth on mine once again.

“Best year of my life so far,” I breathed between kisses, as he dove back into me, laying me back onto the desk and pinning my arms gently on either side of me.

His soft lips met mine with passion, feeling as natural as any other time we had kissed. He pulled away, brushing a lock of my hair off of my face and neck.

I said quickly, “No one’s coming in here right?” With Cedric on top of me on the teacher’s desk of the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, I felt exposed while still feeling secure in close proximity with Cedric’s strong body.

“I’ll keep an eye out,” he muttered, but his eyes were closed as he deepened the kiss, pressing me against the desk with the weight of his body. The effect he had on me was uncontrollable, my whole body heated up with his touch-- his hands, lips, legs…

“I like the way you kiss,” I murmured under my breath.

Cedric smiled in the kiss, starting to say, “I like the way—”

But he was interrupted by the classroom door swinging open with a clang. Cedric and I flew apart and I shot to my feet, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. Cedric began shuffling papers on the desk.

“Ah, Cedric!” Professor Lupin was saying, “Oh, and Y/N? Hello, dear,”

Cedric cleared his throat and nodded his head firmly, “We were just, uh, cleaning up, y’know, to get out of your hair.”

“Much appreciated, my boy,” Lupin smiled warmly, “I trust this afternoon went well?” he turned to me, “Y/N, he taught well, yes?”

“Yes,” I said, smiling as sweetly as I could, “Cedric is the best teacher I’ve had.”

Cedric picked up the remainder of the papers, grabbed his cloak, and said, “We’ll be going now!”

We walked quickly out of the classroom, I barely remembered to grab my school bag on the way out.

Once we were safely in the corridor, I playfully pushed Cedric on the shoulder, saying, “Good job ‘keeping an eye out’, Ced.”

“Oh, come on,” he objected, “How could I watch the door when you’re right in front of me.” His hand rose to graze my face, but before he could touch me, he dropped his hand, looking around the corridor.

I looked around too, and felt my senses come back to me slowly. The corridor was empty, but I was so caught up in Cedric, that I had momentarily forgotten we were in a castle with hundreds of other students. I took in a sharp breath, and let it out slowly, wondering what the next step was.

“So,” Cedric finally said, “What are you doing tonight?”

⟡⟡⟡

Chapter Text

Nine.

Cedric and I were meandering through the hallway after leaving Professor Lupin’s classroom. We had been mid make out when we got interrupted by Lupin. Even now my face was still flushed and my lips tender. The subtle buzz I felt in my whole body when I was around Cedric still buzzed on.

Cedric had asked if I had any plans. I was ecstatic to say no.

I couldn’t help but feel nervous about spending an afternoon with Cedric. Looking back on our previous encounters, alcohol had been heavily involved in our relationship thus far. Relationship? We made out a few times, that’s hardly a relationship. But then, what do you call it?

See, if I was pleasantly drunk right now, I wouldn’t be in my head wondering what Cedric and I are.

“What are you thinking about over there?” Cedric asked.

What I’m always thinking about. You.

“Just wondering what we are doing right now.” I replied.

“Maybe I’m looking for a broom closet or something to finish what we started in there.” Cedric said slyly.

“I cannot believe you kissed me in an open classroom of all places.”

“Oh, come on,” Cedric smiled, “you were totally asking for it,” 

“You’re impossible.” I laughed and shook my head. “You know, Cedric, we really never hang out sober,”

We happened upon a small courtyard secluded from the rest of the castle. Cedric sat on a bench and motioned for me to sit next to him.

“So you’re saying we should get drunk tonight?” Cedric said playfully.

I rolled my eyes and sat on the bench next to him.

“I just,” I continued, “I really like being around you, I guess, and I do-” I blushed slightly, “I do like kissing you.”

“I do too,” Cedric said sweetly, “A lot.”

“I think I’m just wondering, like, what you want from me.”

“I don’t want anything from you,” Cedric said, “I just want you.”

At this, Cedric grabbed my waist and pulled me close to him on the bench, my hands flying to his sturdy chest.

“Is that okay with you?” he murmured, our faces inches apart.

I nodded, and our lips crashed together again. This feeling I could live in forever, the way my heart flutters when our mouths meet is indescribable. He wants me.

Cedric pulled back and softly straightened my shirt on my shoulders. “Let’s sneak out of the castle tonight. We can go down to Hogsmeade and be alone.”

⟡⟡⟡

Back in my dormitory, I changed out of my school clothes and freshened up. I chose a knit sweater with a mini skirt and tights, and I added a touch of makeup, just some blush and mascara. While looking in the mirror, I saw a glow in my eyes and my skin that I hadn’t seen in myself, well, ever. I ran a brush through my long hair and sprayed a few spritz of perfume.

Is this what it’s like to get ready for a date? I thought. Then, Am I getting ready for a date right now?

I grabbed my purse and, at the last minute, pulled out the heart pendant I was just gifted and attached it to a simple silver bracelet. I moved my wrist around, admiring the bracelet and feeling gratitude for my life and the people in it, then I ran down the stairs and out of the common room.

Cedric was standing outside the common room, leaning against the wall where he kissed me on New Year’s. We were really leaving our mark all around the castle.

He was dressed mostly in muggle clothing; a smart casual jacket and jeans. He made everything look easy.

“You look nice,” I said.

“Y/N…” he chuckled, “you look nice,”

We made our way through the secret tunnel under Honeydukes, neither one of us asking how the other knew about it. As we entered the main street of Hogsmeade, a small flurry of snow began to fall around us.

Cedric grabbed my hand.

“Godric, your hands are freezing,” he said, pulling my hand up to his mouth and peppering warm kisses all over my icy fingers.

I drank in his every movement, every word that left his lips. Just observing small details reminded me that I was really this close to Cedric.

“What’d’ya say we stop in the Three Broomsticks to warm up with some butterbeer.”

“That sounds perfect,” I replied.

⟡⟡⟡

The Three Broomsticks was emptier than I had ever seen. There were still a few odd witches and wizards scattered about the pub. Cedric pulled out a chair for me at a table in a secluded corner, and went immediately to the bar to order two mugs of butterbeer. 

As we sipped, the drink warmed my insides immediately.

“This is so nice, Cedric,” I said, “I’ve never been here at night before.”

“Do you like sneaking around at night?” Cedric asked.

Draco’s observatory flashed in my mind. 

“Yeah,” I said, “It’s kind of exciting.”

Sitting across a table from Cedric felt so adult and real.

“Do you like sneaking around at night?” I asked

“Well, as a prefect I definitely stopped sneaking out so much. Being here with you is sort of making me feel younger.”

I tried to suppress my smile.

“I got caught once,” Cedric said, “Some buddies and I went to the Hog’s Head Inn after dark, thinking no one would be there. But sure enough, Professor Lupin was there, drinking in the corner with a hood over his head.”

“What happened?”

“Well, he noticed us right away, but I got my friends out of there as quickly as I could. Lupin pressed me, but I never gave up who I was there with. I think Lupin actually respected that, I guess he was kind of a troublemaker in his day, and he never punished me. In fact he kind of became my mentor.”

“That’s right,” I remembered, “You were in his office before Christmas break.”

“Every time we’ve met since then,” I continued slowly, “There’s been this kind of energy. Right?”

Cedric had reached across the table, grabbing a lock of hair and slowly twirling it around his finger. “I think that’s safe to say.”

“So, why?” I asked, furrowing my brow, “Why did you notice me now?”

“Now?” Cedric asked, his hand leaving my hair and tracing down my arm gently to play with the heart charm on my bracelet. “Why do we notice anyone, why did you notice me?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever not noticed you,” I admitted, “I just, I used to be so in love with you, for like forever. So it’s feeling so weird to be here with you now.”

“In love?” Cedric suppressed a smile, still toying with the heart pendant, “I’m flattered.”

“Okay I’m being dramatic, but also how could I not, since that first day at Hogwarts when you walked me to my dorm.”

“I like to refer to it as rescuing you.” he said playfully. “But we were both so young back then. You especially. I don’t know when it happened, but suddenly you grew up. When you charged into Lupin's office, I saw you. And I couldn’t stop seeing you.”

I smiled. “Boy am I glad I grew up and turned out pretty cute.”

“Really pretty.” Cedric said, his fingers on my bracelet brushed down and held my hand resting on the table.

We finished off our drinks and I stood up to grab both drinks and refill them. Cedric lightly grabbed my waist and pulled me close to his chair. My hands landed on his shoulders.

“I’ve been thinking lots about your mouth.” he whispered. “I can’t stop.”

I giggled and pressed a light kiss on one cheek, then the other.

“Does this help?” I murmured, pressing another kiss on his lips.

His hands grasped my waist tighter, and I found myself wishing that the pub was completely empty.

“How do you do this to me?” he muttered between kisses.

I was practically in his lap in our little corner of the Three Broomsticks. The murmurs of the other patrons forming a low hum in the background.

We eventually pulled away, and I knew my cheeks were red in this very public setting.

“First date, check.” Cedric said, “And first public display of affection… check.”

“Date?” I repeated

“Well, yeah.” Cedric said nonchalantly. “Shall we have another?”

“There’s a spring formal in a few weeks. The prefects got a heads up about it.” he said.

“Mhm?” I raised my eyebrows.

“So,” he continued, “Want to go with me?”

“Hmm,” I said mockingly, his arms still holding my waist. “I’ll think about it.”

⟡⟡⟡

Making our way back to Honeydukes to return to the castle, I laced my arm through Cedric’s and curled up on his shoulder, trying to stay warm. I looked right and in the window of the tiny, grimy pub, The Spider’s Web, I saw the face of a ghost.

Or what looked like one.

Draco’s slender, pale face was staring at me through the window, his blond hair striking in the dark and dingy pub.

I tried not to stiffen against Cedric’s shoulder, but I became uncomfortable. Especially after all that had happened, I shouldn’t have cared, but I felt exposed. There was some strange energy connecting me to both of these boys and I wish it would end. One moment couldn’t happen between Cedric and I without Draco quite literally rearing his head.

Cedric asked me to the spring formal. The Blossom Ball. Once every seven years. Cedric’s only spring formal, and he asked me. Resting in this fact I pushed away all other thoughts…

⟡⟡⟡

Chapter Text

Ten.

The news about the Blossom Ball began to spread around the castle. I wanted to tell everyone that Cedric had asked me, but I kept it between my closest friends, Hermione, Ron, and Harry.

The boys still had the look of apprehension on their faces that they often did when Cedric started coming up more and more in our conversations. Still, they expressed their happiness for me.

“I definitely take back what I said about it being a Christmas fling, Y/N.” Ron admitted.

The buzz about the ball grew as the date approached, but our schoolwork and studying still seemed to pile up faster than we could complete it. Harry and I were finishing an essay for Transfiguration, when I noticed how much time had gone by. It was soon the last time slot for lunar observation this week for astronomy class.

I jumped off the couch, haphazardly threw on a jacket, and ran out the door, heading for the astronomy tower. Briskly walking, I tried to smooth the back of my hair, messy from hours of homework in the common room. I ended up disregarding how I looked completely, it was past midnight, there was no way I would be seeing anyone tonight.

I started up the stairway to the tower. Nearing the top I was surprised to hear footsteps above me, like someone else was there.

I had to slow my breathing after climbing so many flights of stairs. I looked around as I approached the top to see a wide-eyed Draco Malfoy.

“Why am I not surprised?” I muttered. He seemed to be everywhere.

“Look, I’m sorry Y/N,” Draco said shaking his head, “I actually came to the last time slot because I figured you wouldn’t be here.”

“This homework slipped my mind this week.” I said, “I know you can’t control it, but why do we have to run into each other all the damn time?”

Draco looked slightly perturbed. “So I’m guessing you did in fact see me in Hogsmeade the other night?”

“Yes, Draco,” I sighed, “Of course I saw you.”

He made his way to the nearest telescope placing one eye to the lens.

“Sorry.” He spoke casually, “You just seemed a bit… preoccupied at the time.”

I had to close my eyes and breathe in slowly to regulate my emotions. Don’t let him get to you. You can do what you want… who cares if he saw you with Cedric.

“Don’t get jealous, Draco.” I said, my voice tinged with cruelty, “We don’t want a repeat of New Years.”

Silence as my words sunk in.

I sat on a stool under a telescope and pulled out parchment and a quill. I looked through the lens into the star-filled sky then began to chart my class assignment. I caught a glimpse of Draco doing the same, both of us gazing at the same stars from opposite sides of the tower.

“I’m not jealous,” Draco finally spoke, and I looked up from my telescope. “Really, I’m not.”

“Good.”

We continued working on our charts in silence for a few minutes.

“I felt bad, honestly,” he said suddenly.

“You felt bad?” I frowned, “And why would that be?”

“Because you looked uncomfortable.”

“Uncomfortable?”

“Okay, not exactly uncomfortable,” he explained, “just like… you were acting a part.”

“That’s funny,” I said drily, “because it didn’t feel like I was acting a part. And it actually did feel very comfortable.”

“You looked different. I just wondered if you were actually happy. Or just doing what everyone expects.”

“I’m happy,” I said. Why did it come out so unconvincingly? “Did I change, or did you just never even know me?” 

“I know you,” he repeated under his breath, “I know you.”

I felt a small chill run up the back of my spine

“So, why were you in Hogsmeade that night anyways?” I asked

“I was going to buy these,” he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small white box.

As he flipped open the box, I looked closer.

“Are those muggle cigarettes?”

He nodded and brought a skinny white cigarette to his lips. I watched as a small flame from the tip of his wand lit the cigarette.

“You smoke?” I asked.

“Not much else to do at the Manor.” he said between drags, “Besides, it’s a good way to get away from my parents.”

“Could I…?” I gestured towards the cig.

“Sure,” Draco said, his two fingers holding the cigarette moving slowly towards my mouth. My lips wrapped around it. Inhaling, I grabbed the cigarette, my fingers lightly grazing Draco’s.

Again, another chill went up my spine.

As I blew out the smoke I rested my forearms on the parapet surrounding the astronomy tower and leaned out observing everything below. 

Taking another drag I said, “So they just sell these at The Spider’s Web?”

“No,” Draco said, grabbing it back from me, “I just have a connection that works there.”

He leaned over the railing next to me.

“I’m kind of sorry that you had to come to the astronomy tower so late just to avoid me.” I said, still looking out at the view.

“It’s kind of okay,” Draco said, “Besides, the stars are brightest now anyways.”

What was with him and the stars…

“And I’m also kind of sorry that avoiding me tonight didn’t work.” I said.

“Still only kind of sorry, hm?” 

“Draco, I don’t hate you,” I said, “I never hated you. And I don’t really want you to avoid me… I think.”

Draco dropped the butt of the cigarette and crushed it under his foot.

“I’m glad to hear that,” he said.

“Clearly it’s impossible for us to avoid each other.” I said, “So why even try…”

“I always hated trying.” Draco said, looking deeper into my eyes, his eyes like stars.

I felt a jolt in my stomach and I looked down at my chart.

“It’s getting really late,” I said, “I think I should go.”

“Okay,” Draco replied, “I’m just gonna finish up here.”

The walk back to the Gryffindor common room went by faster than usual. Draco’s words about me changing and acting a part rang in my head and soon enough I was back in my dormitory.

Once again, I looked at my bed, illuminated by the moon, and noticed something resting on my pillow that wasn’t there when I left. It was a small carton of cigarettes, the box decorated with galaxies of stars, and a small cursive D on the bottom of the box.

⟡⟡⟡