Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Though it had been weeks since Agent Barton brought her in and Director Fury had deemed her trustworthy, Natalia was still on edge. She felt as though Dreykov was still watching her at every turn. She had asked Fury about the possibility of changing her name and he was way more supportive than Dreykov could ever be. So, she was no longer Natalia Romanova. That girl is dead. She’s Natasha Romanoff. Clint was proud that Nat was figuring herself out and learning how to set boundaries.

The first time a creep came up to her during training and started flirting with her, she stood up for herself and punched the dickhead in the jaw before going to find Clint. She was more than capable of independence and taking care of herself, but she trusted Clint more than anyone else right now, so she had a tendency to follow him around like a stray dog.

Clint made it his personal mission to help Natasha find her favorite food. But, as Natasha was still on edge, Clint had to take the first bite of everything she ate to prove to her that it wasn’t poisoned. After learning to trust Clint’s judgement, Natasha discovered that her favorite food is brownies and her favorite drink is a strawberry milkshake.

Slowly, day after day, week after week, month after month, Natasha opened up slightly more around Clint. She was surprised when she found out he knew how to braid hair. She had broken her hand in training and was unable to braid her own hair, so Clint offered to do it for her. She trusted him enough to accept the offer, a huge step.

She threw herself into proving that she was more than what the Red Room made her into. Everyday, without fail, she showed up at the gym and spent four hours working out until her knuckles were bruised like violets. She wouldn’t stop when Clint or even Director Fury asked her to prioritize her health over proving herself. She kept up her (quite alarming) routine.

When she met Agent Coulson for the first time, it was because Director Fury sent him to try to get her to stop harming herself with her intense sessions. As could probably be predicted, he got nowhere. Natasha still continued with her routine, never missing a single day.

In a further, more desperate, attempt to prove that she’s changed, she stops speaking Russian entirely. She just stops speaking, reading, or listening to anything in her native language. Every time she slips up—whether it’s because she’s that tired or she’s simply sleep-talking—she punishes herself by skipping all meals that day. Clint, observant as always, notices that any fat Natasha has managed to gain since arriving at SHIELD severely malnourished has dropped back into unhealthy lows. He talks to Fury about it, but Fury has no suggestions other than to put vitamins and fillers in her food—which would break her trust, since they’d have to do it secretly because Natasha would never agree.

So, when Christmas rolls around and Clint gets his annual two-week leave, he negotiates with Fury and convinces him to let him bring Natasha. He agrees easily, and Clint brings Natasha to Iowa with him.

Natasha is understandably hesitant to meet new people, but trusts Clint’s judgement. When she meets Laura for the first time, all she says is, “So you’re the reason this idiot doesn’t get himself killed.”
Laura bursts into bright laughter that catches Natasha off guard, and Clint responds with an indignant “Hey!”

Natasha is still looking like she saw a ghost because someone laughed at her joke, she’d be killed for that in the Red Room. Clint and Laura notice and immediately sober up, trying to stop Natasha from spiralling before it starts. Clint succeeds by braiding her hair, because she still can’t wrap her head around the fact that Clint knows how to braid hair.

That’s when two children barrelled into the room—Lila and Cooper Barton. The two immediately noticed their dad braiding a stranger’s hair, so they started what can only be described as interrogating her with the amount of questions they have.

“Who are you?”
“Where are you from?”
“How do you know Daddy?”
“Why are you so quiet?”
“How come we’ve never seen you before?”

Natasha was overwhelmed by the amount of questions all at once, and sat cross-legged on the floor in an attempt to seem less intimidating to the young children. “My name is Natasha. I’m one of your dad’s friends from work. I’m quiet because there were some really bad people in my past who’d punish me if I wasn’t quiet.”

“My name’s Lila, this is my big brother Cooper.”

“What do you mean they’d punish you?” Cooper wasn’t the best at social cues and didn’t know that this was a very sensitive topic for Natasha.

Clint immediately intervened. “Okay, that’s enough interrogating Natasha. Who wants to teach Nat the Barton family Uno house rules?”

Natasha raises her hand shyly. “I still don’t know how to play Uno regularly. You never taught me.”

“You don’t know Uno?!” Lila reacted as if Natasha confessed to not liking Christmas.

So, Natasha spent the better part of the day learning how to play Uno. Thanks to Laura’s subtle intervention and the snacks she left on the table for the kids, Nat was finally eating enough to get back on the right track. The fun of the day calmed down when Laura called them all into the dining room for dinner. It was spaghetti bolognese, and it looked really good, but Natasha wouldn’t touch it. She was waiting. So, Clint used his fork and took a bite out of Natasha's bowl to prove to her that it’s safe to eat, like every meal at SHIELD. It was only then did Natasha start eating. Of course, this small thing didn’t go unnoticed by the kids.

“Daddy, why did you take a bite of Aunty Nat’s food before she did? Is that not rude?” Lila asks.

Clint takes a deep breath before attempting to explain. “Okay, so you know how you get me or Mommy to check your closet and under your bed for monsters before you go to sleep? Well, Aunty Nat has the same trust issues when it comes to food because some really bad people broke her trust when she was not much older than you. So Daddy proves to Aunty Nat that her food isn’t poisoned before she eats it, otherwise she won’t trust it enough to eat. Make sense?”

Lila and Cooper thought for a moment before agreeing, “Yeah, that makes sense.”

For the first time, Natasha was actually looking forward to Christmas.

Chapter Text

After the two week break, Clint and Natasha fell back into their routines at SHIELD, which means Natasha fell back into her rhythm of spending four hours a day in the gym. Neither Fury nor Clint could stop her from overexerting herself.

Natasha trained and trained and trained until she physically couldn’t stand. She lost track of time and just now realized that the sun had set. She’s been training the entire day. Oops. She tried to pull herself up off the ground but everything hurt too much. So she sat there, helpless. Until someone she didn't recognize walked in. Natasha had to admit, the girl was very pretty. But in a conventional way, anyone would think she’s pretty. Her nametag read ‘Hill’. It took her about thirty seconds to notice Natasha—sweating, bruised, and looking half dead—sitting helpless and hopelessly in the corner, half hidden by the rack of punching bags and weights.

“Agent Romanoff, are you alright? What happened here?” Hill ran over, urgency in her voice.

Natasha barely manages to look up, and just about mutters, “Lost track of time…”

“Okay, let’s assess the situation. Can you stand?” Hill was clearly trying not to panic.

Natasha shook her head and immediately regretted it.

“Okay. Do I have permission to carry you?”

Natasha nodded, for once with zero hesitation. So Hill very carefully picked Natasha up and carried her bridal style out of the gym and to the redhead’s room. When she left, Nat felt a hollow ache in her chest.

The next day, she could walk as far as Clint’s room across the hall. So, she went to ask Clint about the beautiful brunette from the gym. “Clint, who’s Agent Hill?”

“Agent Hill? Brunette, ocean blue eyes, epitome of composure? Her first name’s Maria. Why?”

Natasha, for the first time ever, proved that she was actually capable of human emotion because she was blushing.

“Ohh, no. You’re telling me that the great, emotionless Natasha Romanoff has a crush on Maria Hill?”

“What’s a crush? Why are we crushing Maria? What did she do?” Natasha was, as always, oblivious to her feelings in the name of not knowing shit.

So Clint, in the name of making his new ship sail, spends the entire day explaining emotions and the LGBTQ+ community to Natasha. Nat, of course, denied feeling any of this, but, inside, she wasn’t so sure anymore.

The next morning, she wakes up early and walks around the facility aimlessly, thinking about everything Clint had told her yesterday. For the first time, it hit her; she was free. No Dreykov punishing her for every little thing, no being watched 24/7, no cruel conditions. Slowly, tentatively, she let herself feel. Maybe she did want to know Maria better. And it was okay to want that.

Because she wasn’t paying attention to where she was going, Natasha almost collides with someone in the hallway. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), it was Maria. This one small, simple mistake was enough to take Natasha back to her worst memories—the Red Room really messed her up. She was struggling to breathe, shaking slightly, eyes wide.

Maria notices immediately and starts trying to calm the redhead. “Hey, Natasha, listen to me. No one can hurt you. I’m here. It’s just you and me, Natasha and Maria.”

Slowly, Natasha’s breathing evened out. She doesn’t remember it happening, but her and Maria are sitting on the floor, backs against the wall. Natasha was too drained to care—she let herself fall sideways until she was resting her head on Maria’s shoulder.

Maria was taken aback but let it happen.
No one needed to know, but she’s been falling for Natasha since she saw Barton bring her in after he was sent to kill her. She’d been watching Natasha from afar the entire time. Until two days ago.

~ Rewind two days and switch to Maria’s POV ~

Maria was wandering the halls, avoiding the social obligation of talking to people. She passed by the gym without a second thought, but circled back when a voice in her head told her to go inside. She found Agent Romanoff looking half dead, almost hidden behind the weight racks. The sight alone made her panic. After getting an explanation from Natasha, Maria asked the (gorgeous) redhead if it was okay if she carried her to her room. Natasha agreed more easily than Maria had expected, but Maria was focused on making sure she was okay. Maria was sure that Natasha would be able to hear her heart hammering as the redhead’s head was resting on her shoulder. No one knew that Maria fancied Natasha, but Coulson had his suspicions. God, how Maria hated having to keep this secret. It was eating her alive.

~ Back to the present and to a neutral POV ~

“Masha…” The redhead mumbled, snapping Maria out of her thoughts.

“Where’d the nickname come from, huh?” Maria tried to brush off how flustered she was by joking.

“I’s jus’ your name in Russian.”

The pair fell into comfortable silence, enjoying the peace of the empty hallway. It wasn’t often there was anywhere quiet in this place, so they savored it. Until Clint rounded the corner and saw his best friend half asleep and curled up beside the girl who has a crush on her. He took a quick picture before running off, knowing that Maria wouldn’t chase him while Natasha was leaning on her. Maria made a silent promise to get revenge on Clint later.

Natasha only wakes up when Director Fury enters their hallway during his patrolling. He was just standing there, looking down at two of his best agents, one of them asleep. He doesn’t comment, just gives Maria a blanket for Natasha before continuing his patrol.

Maria wraps the blanket around Natasha’s shoulders, lulling her back into sleep. Once Maria was sure that Natasha was asleep, she carefully picked the smaller girl up and carried her through the halls to her room.

The next morning, Natasha notices that Clint is acting very mysterious and smug about something. She doesn’t even need to confront him about it—he’s all too happy to tease her about the fact that she fell asleep next to Maria.

“I was tired. So what?” Natasha tried to defend herself, but her argument was undermined by the fact that she was blushing.

Later that day, Natasha was at the gym, sucker-punching the hit-wall (Fury installed a separate wall made from what was effectively Play-Doh so that his agents could punch walls without injuring themselves) when Maria walked in. Natasha froze instantly, her eyes instinctively following the brunettes movement.

That night, Natasha cursed Maria for leaving her with a feeling she couldn’t explain and didn’t know what to do with as she sleep-talked.

For Maria, she had dreams of church bells, white dresses, and a certain emerald-eyed redhead.

Chapter Text

Natasha thought today was going to be a good day. She was going on her first mission—nothing crazy, just stealing some files from the US government—but something went wrong. Dreykov must have had agents going after her because she was captured almost as soon as she was out of range of the SHIELD facility.

Unfortunately for him, his agents had poor judgement and left only one guard in Natasha’s cell with her. She was spineless in her tomb of silence until she recognized the Widow with her blonde hair and hazel eyes. “Yelena?”

The Widow snapped out of her trance immediately, almost as if the same that applied to Natasha worked for Yelena—one key memory can be strong enough to undo all the brainwashing and training Dreykov drilled into them. “Natasha? Is it really you?”

“It’s me, моя сестра. I’m here.”

The sisters barely had time to wrap their heads around this unexpected reunion because SHIELD stormed whatever Red Room branch they were in (it clearly wasn’t the actual Red Room, SHIELD would’ve never found it this fast).

Clint was the one to find Natasha, relief flooding his features. He tries to get Natasha out of her cell while keeping Yelena back.

“Clint, no!” Natasha tries to reach out a hand for Yelena to grab. “Yelena! Clint, she’s my sister! We have to get her out! Please! I can’t lose her again.” Tears were streaming down Natasha’s face as she finally grabs her sister’s hand and pulls the younger girl close to her chest.

Clint realizes that Natasha has never felt this strongly about anyone or anything before, and ends up rescuing both of them.

Back at SHIELD, Clint and Natasha have to explain to Fury why they have another Widow. “Barton, this is the second time you have brought a Black Widow into SHIELD. The first time, you were sent to kill her. This time, you were sent to retrieve Natasha from her captors. Who is this and why did you decide to rescue her?” Fury seems entirely done with everything.

“Director, this is my sister Yelena. It’s actually me who brought her in. I wouldn’t let Clint bring me back unless Yelena was coming with me. I couldn’t stand to lose her again.” Natasha explains.

Yelena, who had been silent and still the entire time, pulls out a photo strip—the photo strip Natasha had given her when they were separated. She handed it to Fury to have a look at. “It’s true, Director. Natasha has always been my sister. I understand if you don’t trust me immediately, but I’m ready to do whatever it takes.”

Fury hands the photo strip back to Yelena, making a mental note of how fiercely protective Natasha is of her. “I believe you, Miss…”

“Belova.”

“Miss Belova. After all, your sister here has quickly become one of my best agents. She has settled in really quickly here at SHIELD.”

“Thank you, Director.”

The next day, Yelena was trying to persuade Natasha to dye her hair blue like when they were younger. She was most insistent at lunchtime. Clint, Maria, and Natasha went to their usual table, and Nat showed Yelena where to go. Yelena was yapping for five minutes or so before Maria joined the conversation and asked Yelena what she was trying to get Natasha to do.

Yelena pulled out the photo strip from the pocket of the jacket Natasha lent her, explaining to Maria that, when they were younger, Natasha had her hair dyed blue.

“Oh my God, you’re both so adorable! I didn’t think Natasha was capable of smiling like that. And—oh my God, does Natasha have dimples?!” Maria gasps.

“Wait, what? Natasha, dimples?! Ain’t no way. Yelena, mind if I take a look at that?” Clint almost fell out of his chair with how fast he snapped back to reality.

Yelena slid the photo strip across the table with a smirk, knowing she’s giving her sister’s best friends blackmail material.

“Oh my God, Natasha has dimples. This is forbidden knowledge.” Clint whispers dramatically.

Natasha smacks him lightly on the arm, but she’s laughing—the first time Clint or Maria have ever heard her laugh. And it’s not a small chuckle either, it’s full, bright, infectious laughter that makes her dimples show and her eyes shine. Yelena started laughing too, like the kid she still was in Natasha’s eyes.

That was the moment Clint and Maria realised that the only reason Natasha had never been truly happy was because she didn’t know what had happened to her sister. The two exchanged a look that held a silent vow—’don’t let them be separated ever again’.

Over the next few weeks, Natasha helped Yelena settle in. Soon enough, Yelena had a wardrobe full of her own clothes, a few pictures on her walls (several of them were of the two sisters, taken and printed by Clint without their knowledge, which meant that there were a lot of the two sisters smiling and laughing with each other), and a vest that Yelena had really wanted because “Look how many pockets it has, Tasha!”

Despite having known Natasha for eight and a half months, Clint still didn’t actually know how old Natasha was. “Hey, Nat, how old are you again?” He asks at breakfast on the morning of February 13th.

“Uh, twenty… three. Yelena is eighteen because it’s 2007, and we have a five year age gap… So yeah, I’m twenty-three.” Nat replies.

Clint nearly chokes on his scrambled eggs. “I’m sorry, you’re how old?! You mean to tell me that Fury sent me to kill someone thirteen years younger than me?”

“You’re twice my age? Wow. Tasha, your best friend is really old.” Yelena says through a mouthful of pancake.

“Rude!” Clint places a hand over his heart in mock offence.

“I still can’t get over the fact that Yelena is an actual child compared to literally every other agent in this place. Everyone else is at least mine and Natasha’s age, and even that’s considered young around here. Everyone is twenty-three or older, and Yelena is eighteen for fuck’s sake.” Maria rambles.

Before either sister could respond, the ceiling caved in, Hydra agents and Black Widows working together to infiltrate this specific SHIELD facility.

Natasha grabs Yelena, pulling her under the table.

“We’re here for Romanova and Belova. Hand them over and no one needs to get hurt.” One of the Hydra agents announces.

All the SHIELD agents collectively agree without saying a word that nobody is letting Yelena and Natasha be taken away again.

The fight that broke out was far from fair. The SHIELD agents were outnumbered and fatally unfamiliar with the fighting style of the Widows. But, somehow, they won.

Only hours later when the canteen had fully cleared (except for the sisters, Clint, and Maria) did Natasha crawl out from under the table, making sure it was actually safe before letting Yelena follow her.

Maria was scanning the area when she found Yelena’s photo strip under a nearby table, miraculously untouched. Maybe it was possible to make light of a bad situation.