Chapter Text
David knew his little brother had schizophrenia. But even still, he didn’t expect… this. Not to this severity at least. He had tried to get Isaac help before but the doctors told him he wasn’t a danger to himself or others so there was nothing they could do. So it had escalated. Gotten worse. Isaac had spiraled. Now he stood in front of David, explaining to his older brother how the world was coming to an end and the tribulations were upon them.
One wall of Isaac’s dark bedroom was plastered in articles and book pages, cut out with a box cutter and glued to the plaster. Pictures of falling angels, mushroom clouds, decimated cities. All of it pointed to one thing Isaac kept saying. The end was near and we were all going to die. Their parents were doomsdayers, David was sure that’s where the seed of delusion had come from. Mom always nagged them about the purity of their souls, repenting, praying for forgiveness before it was too late. And Dad always watched biblical conspiracy theory videos on blast in the dining room.
And here Isaac was, holed up in his room, ranting about the red heifer sacrifice and the third temple. “Listen. Isaac. I get that you’re into this stuff but this is a little much.”
“No but don’t you see? Samuel’s death was the first sign. Haven’t you noticed that the world has been on fire since then? It’s burning all around us.”
David couldn’t deny things had gotten progressively worse in the world since their oldest brother’s death two years ago, but he struggled to make the connection that seemed so obvious to Issac. He crossed his arms, trying not to sigh or show how concerned he was. He knew it was all very real to Isaac. “Have you told Mom and Dad about any of this?”
“No, they’d try to get me to repent for being pro-Palestine. And gay. You know how they are.”
“Yeah, I do.” David pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache coming on. Just a year ago they’d been going to protests together, fundraising for their friends in Gaza, and going viral for stupid TikToks they made together. Isaac looked like a shell of himself now. His diagnosis had been more like a death sentence than an answer. “Have you been taking your meds?“
“No, not since I learned what they really do to you.” Isaac knelt down on the floor, gathering up pages that hadn’t been hung up yet.
“And what do meds really do to you?” He breathed in slowly, preparing for whatever nonsense his little brother had likely read on a subreddit and believed without a second thought.
“They give you brain damage. There’s no studies because big pharma doesn’t want people to stop over medicating themselves.”
“Right.” David looked down at him, contemplating his next move. “But don’t you think the benefits out way the cons? Saying it’s true.”
“It is true.”
“And I’m not doubting you. But think about the consequences. How do you feel right now?”
“Like I’m the only one making sense.”
David bit the inside of his cheek, unsure of how to convince his brother to take a break. “Okay. Well…” Isaac looked up at him, his eyes surrounded by dark circles and his hair obviously matted. He probably hadn’t bathed in weeks, if not months. He certainly smelled like it. “Do you want me to draw you a bath?”
“No. I can’t bathe right now.”
“Why not?”
“The demons watch me in the bath and they talk about me.”
“Oh.”
Isaac stood up, taping some more pages to the wall.
“What if I do it with you? I can wash you and I’ll make sure the voices don’t bother you.”
“They’re not just voices, they’re demons.” Isaac looked at him like he was an idiot and David sighed.
“Sorry. Yeah. I’ll make sure the demons don’t bother you.”
Isaac thought about it, looking down at his papers. “Why do you want to wash me?”
“You kind of reek. No offense.”
Isaac smiled at him, hitting him with the papers. “Bitch.”
“Brat.” David smiled back. “Come on, let me give you a bath. It’ll be quick, I promise.”
David opened the door and walked to the bathroom, turning on the water. He made it as hot as possible, since he knew his little brother liked to bathe with water as hot as hell. He grabbed some towels from the cupboard, setting them down on the closed toilet seat. “Okay Isaac, come here.” He waited a moment but when there was no answer he went into the hall and looked into Isaac’s room to see him standing at the doorway.
“I can’t leave my room.”
“Why not?”
“The demons will get me. I’ve got crucifixes on the walls and doors because it keeps me safe. I even salted the doorway.”
David walked to the door, grabbing one of the crosses from the wall and a rosary from Isaac’s bedpost. “Here, put this on.” He slipped the rosary over Isaac’s head.
“Isn’t it a sin to wear a rosary?”
“God will forgive you. Come on.” He grabbed his brother by the elbow, leading him down the hall to the bathroom before he could change his mind. He hated seeing him like this, so worn out and empty. Struggling. “Arms up.” David grabbed the bottom of Isaac’s shirt, pulling the long sleeve shirt off. Then he froze.
Littered all over Isaac’s body were burns and cuts, most of them concentrated on his arms below the elbows. David took one of his arms to examine it, looking at the burns that were in the shape of a cross. Like he’d heated up a crucifix and branded himself with it.
“Isaac. What the fuck is this?”
“Don’t be mad.”
David breathed in, steadying himself. “I’m not mad. Just tell me what this is.”
“Okay. Well I’ve got these worms, I call them spirit worms.” Isaac took his arms back, wrapping them around his torso. “They dig into my skin. Because I’ve made contact with death, they clung to me. Like parasites. And they wriggle around under my skin. Only I can see them.”
“Contact with death?”
“Yeah you know, since I saw…”
“Oh.” He didn’t need him to explain the horror Isaac had witness when Samuel had died. Definitely not now. “So you’re trying to get them out?”
“Yeah. They don’t like holy objects either, that’s why I burned myself.”
David nodded his head, grabbing the shirt and pulling it over Isaac’s head to redress him. “Okay. Change of plans. We’re going for a drive.”