Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I was naked.

I mean – I felt naked.

The bed was cold, and hard – not the bed I used to sleep in. There should be a figure hugging me into their warm chest, but I felt nothing as I placed my hand by my side. It felt chilly, as if I could feel the breeze from the cold night even though I swore I had the windows closed. I tilted my head to the side, ignoring how my neck hurt for there was nothing beneath my head laid. The room was dark – the walls, the ceiling, the floor, everything was made of stone –

I sat up immediately.

Where the fuck am I?

I had no clothes on. The room was tight as hell, just enough to fit in a bed, a closet, and a desk. There wasn’t a window, simply a square hole to the outside world. A dull mirror laid on the desk, where I could see my reflection from the bed. I was still I, my features remain unchanged, just a bit younger.

I climbed out of the bed, limping myself towards the ‘window’. I wasn’t greeted with the city I lived in, but a whole palace below. Mountains were everywhere outside the barrier, and the pale sunlight slowly raised itself out of the blocking mount. 

The sound of a bell ringing came from the door. It was knocked a few times, along with someone yelling, “All of you on your feet – there’s work to be done!” The voice was faint, then it appeared clearer before it faded again, as if a clock was walking across the rooms. 

I walked towards the door, hoping to take a peek of everyone to get the situation right, but a knock was faster than I. It slowly opened, a red-haired turning in – Hikray. 

“Hikray,” I called out of excitement, but more of relief that my friend was here. “What is going on? Fuck – I just woke up and now I’m here. Thank god I’m not alone –”

Hikray laughed, as if he had made a joke. “Woah? Have you gone insane? You’re rather talkative today – also, what’s with that word, ‘fuck’? What does it mean? Should you have told me you were going crazy, I’d have requested the king to switch your duties.”

My knees gave up and I dropped to the floor, kneeling. 

“Vivyn! Hey – are you tired? We could ask for a day off today, you should get some rest. I – I’ll talk to the king, and I’ll get you a better duty, okay? Come on.”

King? What king?

What the fuck is going on?

I should be a college student, sleeping in my dorm right now, possibly late for class, and here I am – some kind of slave serving the king? Not to mention, Hikray was wearing a suit with a cape on, a sword hung by his waist. Some kind of knight he was? His hand came to hold me up, offering to lay me on bed, but I placed my hand against his that was on my forearm.

“Hikray,” I said. My voice was shaky, though I tried my best to sound calm. “Is this some kind of joke? What are you – a knight? Where the fuck are we? And what king do you speak of? Who the fuck am I?”

Hikray flinched. His eyebrows furrowed to show his worries – with a hint of fear. ‘Who are you’ was all he could make out. I was about to answer, before he unwrapped his cape to put it around my naked body. He pulled me up to my legs, and brought me to bed so we could speak eye-to-eye, seriously.

“I – No. We should be students. We study in the same high school. You know? We had the same lectures –”

“You’re from a different universe.”

“What?” Well, I had eventually figured. I only blurted the question out of his interruption. If he was the Hikray I knew, I’d have been laughing at him for figuring out slower than I did.

“No. Your world sounds much more pleasing to live in! Could you tell me more?”

At least, it was still Hikray. They had the same personalities.

“No,” I said. “You should be telling me about yours in order to start with. What is this place? Is everyone else here? Kei, Loryn – Is Seizhu here?”

He was startled when I mentioned his name. “We do not speak of his name here. Do call him your king, otherwise you’d be beheaded.” I tried not to feel bothered by that. “Who is he to you anyway? Oh, right. I should be starting – It’s a palace we all live in. A huge palace. We are all servants, and we serve our country. Everyone differs in rank, with duties of our own. Some are knights, some are cooks. There are lords, and ladies, who you should obey as they are either of the same bloodshed or close to the king. But all, serve our only king, who you so-called a friend, I suppose?”

He is my love.

“He –”

“Don’t let me catch any of you slacking off – unless you want to be beheaded!” A fierce shout came from the door again.

“Ah.” Hikray stood from the bed. “We’ve got to move. Oh, I hope you do not mind. You work in the barn. You know – feed the animals, clean them. You’ll find your way.” He turned to leave. And before closing the door, he spoke again, “It’s nice to meet you, Vivyn, from the other universe. Don’t worry, I wouldn’t say this to a soul. I’ll see you again, when our duties are done.”

...

It wasn’t long till I found the barn. It took me some time convincing the clock lady to tell me where the barn was when she persisted in leaving me to search alone. If it hadn’t been for her being so busy, she would’ve had me cut my head off for not knowing where I worked as if it was my first day.

The smell was awful. I had to wear this coarse linen tunic while washing the animals, especially those stink fuck horses that had just returned from a ride with the soldiers. My sleeves were even fraying at my wrists. A supervisor would yell at me if I stopped even just for a break. There weren’t many barn servants, as it seemed to be the lowest rank of duty  anyone could get. Everyone who passed by would look down at us as if we were slaves – maybe even not worthy as one.

Now we sat under the roof of the farm, cleaning the shit bowls that citizens use to defaecation. A young boy’s movement was slow, I watched as he cleaned beside me. He was all burned out. I could say the same even if it was just my first day. I just wasn’t used to being a servant after living as a student my whole life.  

“Hey,” I called him, trying to get him to talk so he would be distracted from his exhaustion. “How long have we worked here?”

He was startled, like chatting wasn’t anything usual. “We? Well, it’s hard to count. Everyday feels like hell. I’ve probably worked longer than you, but I would say maybe 3 years?” His voice was sore for a young teenager.

“Tough life, huh? I always wonder, is there no queen in this palace? All I’ve heard are ladies but never a queen.”

“A queen? Well, the king hasn’t found one. I’ve heard he wasn’t interested in being engaged, but it seems a marriage is soon to come,” he said as he brushed the bowl, letting his hand trail around the pot wherever they wanted.

My stomach dropped, just hearing Seizhu was going to be engaged with someone else. “Really? Who is it that he found? I’d really like to see the wedding.”

The boy hummed. “I’m not sure, but it seems to be Rin, his personal servant. I don’t think –”

The brush I held dropped to the ground, the large pot flipping over when it lost my grasp. The boy stopped talking when he noticed, and was terrified as if he said something wrong.

Out of anyone, but Rin.

I killed him in my universe, out of jealousy. It was all just so he could leave Seizhu alone and allow me to have him all by myself. And yet, they’d still be together in another universe. 

It makes my blood boil.

Seizhu should choose me.

Seizhu loves me.

“V – Vivyn?” the boy stuttered, his hand movement stopped with the brushing.

“What are you slaves doing?” the supervisor yelled suddenly from behind us. His whip slammed against our backs as a warning. The young boy whimpered, and I couldn’t help but blame myself for bringing him into trouble. “You think you can rest now? No! The pigs still need to be fed, and the horse still needs to be cleaned! The king is to come tomorrow and ride on these horses. Should I catch any of you slacking off once again, I’ll send you to the dungeon!”

We were both breathing hard from pain. It hurt a lot – I could feel a scar forming on my back. 

We returned to brushing the bowls. The boy was tearing up as he picked up another pot. “I’m sorry,” I muttered to him, but only to be ignored.

Rin.

I won’t let you.

Chapter Text

“I’ve changed your duties, Vivyn!  You don’t have to work in the barn anymore! Now, you’ll be a garden cleaner – it’s not much, but I hope it’s better for you to be somewhere more peaceful.”

Hikray was early as a bird. The clock lady hadn’t even woke us up and he had already emerged into my room to give me an announcement. I sighed from my bed, unable to bring myself to wake. It felt relieved to be able to leave the barn, but I had something in mind.

Hikray sat by my bed, shaking my legs for me to wake, before I sat up and kicked his hands away. He smiled, and helped pull me up to sit with a better posture.

“Actually, I’d like to work one more day in the barn.”

“What? Have you gone crazy? You’d rather –”

“I know. I know,” I cut him off. “I’d just like to work one last time with my barn buddies again. We’ve just met and made friends but now you’re letting me leave way too sudden. I thought they deserve a goodbye.”

Hikray was frowning, but he took it as a reasonable excuse. It was quiet now. It felt odd to not hear Hikray speaking, for someone as talkative. I had a thought he might be disappointed at how I turned down his favour, even though I didn’t – not really.

“Is the king going out for a hunt today?”

Hikray was pulled out of his daydream. “How’d you know?”

“My supervisor had mentioned it.”

“Oh? It’s going to be quick anyways. He’ll only hunt for 10 preys then he’ll be done. He’s oddly good at shooting. A few of us soldiers tried shooting the prey he had hunted, but it took us a lot of time to take them down.”

“Does he go hunt alone, or he’d have a few soldiers following behind?”

“Perhaps you’re wondering if you’d get a lot of washing to do for so many horses. Yes, there will be a few soldiers to follow and guard his safety. So if you’re not ready for the cleaning job, this is your chance to turn it down.”

“No, I’m good.”

“Fuck.”

I straightened my posture from his sudden cursing. “Since when did you know how to use that word? I thought you never spoke it from your tongue?”

“You said it once. I don’t know – it feels good to say it though.”

...

I took some time wandering around the palace near the barn, since Hikray had woken me up too early. Cold air hit my face even when the sun was up. Walls stood high like I was in a maze. Every path leads to a different domain, and I belonged to somewhat the humble quarter. 

I wondered how my universe was doing. Was my body unconscious, or did Vivyn take my place? He’d better appreciate me for giving him a chance to experience a life I earned it to be.

The horse grunted when I brushed its legs, stomping to move away but was pulled back by the chains attached to the fence. The young boy yelped when the horse almost stepped on his foot. We were always paired with the same duties, so I might as well give my farewell to a partner.

“May I know your name?”

“Rome.”

His reply was quick, like he didn’t want trouble but did his best to not be rude.

“Rome? Like, Rome in Italy?” He only frowned at me in confusion. 

Oh, they didn’t have that.

“Well, I’m Vivyn. It’s nice to meet you, Rome. But I’m going to –”

“What’s with you all of a sudden?”

I was lost for words.

“What?”

“Is death soon to come? Why do you speak so much now? Weren’t you always a mute? People hated you for that! Even the lords and ladies tried to send you away for being arrogant to not speak, and now you’re a talker? What’s gotten into you?”

I had to protest what he’d said. I wasn’t entirely proud of ‘Vivyn’ being quite a peasant, though I couldn’t really blame him. I wouldn’t want to speak with these rogues either if I had a choice.

“I am? I guess, I’ve thought about changing.”

“Believe me – it’s not going to get you anywhere. They’d rather have us peasants being mute than to have us speak to them with our filthy –”

“THE KING HAS ARRIVED!”

The tension was tight out of the blue. The servants all kneeled in a second, heads bowed to the ground, before I realised I had to do it too. The supervisor showed his loyalty most, by saying his prayers to the king although it may not be heard – even the noisy animals went silent. This place wasn’t where the king often came to. The people here would rarely have seen the looks of the king. 

There were soldiers trailing behind the king. I barely could see their looks, but just the feet of the royalties. From what I could tell, they wore paddled doublets with capes trailing down to their knees, weapons by their side, like how Hikray wore.

A pair of feet came to the horse, close by my side. The slippers gleamed crimson, and the outfit was stitched with threads of gold. I felt a pang of jealousy for how unfair our lives were compared to the royalties.

“Is my horse clean to touch?”

Seizhu.

“Why certainly,” the supervisor answered. “We cleaned your horse day and night, just to ensure there was no dust left on. My king, should not worry.”

“With your filthy fingers touching my horse, you ask me not to?”

“My king –”

“For your royalness, it wouldn’t trouble you to give us a better place to work at, would it? Who is to blame for making us look filthy? Or do you –” My face was slammed with a whip, before I realised I had spoken without thinking. I was kneeling once again, with my face burning. Not from the pain of the whip – it was partly ignored as I was distracted by the sight of Seizhu. I’d almost forgotten that he was the king.

Fuck, that really hurts.

But fuck, that came out good.

The Seizhu here doesn’t know me, so I couldn’t care less if I’d spoken to him that way despite being my love in my universe. Though, it’d cause me a lot of trouble for spilling the words I held.

“You filth! You dare put the blame on the king? This is the place you deserve to be in for a  slave like you!” It wasn’t the sound of my supervisor, but the sound of one of his soldiers.

I braced for another whipping, but it was yet to come. I dared to raise my head up slightly to see Hikray holding the whip that was about to hit me. “My king,” he said breathlessly. “I truly apologize for my friend’s behaviour. He hasn’t been feeling well – harsh words he’d often spill. Please, do not take his words by heart, and forgive his unthoughtful action.”

“Hikray,” the soldier spoke for the king. “You do not speak for this peasant.”

Hikray didn’t answer. I assumed he was looking at the king for forgiveness. Perhaps I should have a say in it, but it was better to keep my mouth shut.

“Throw him by the field,” the king finally said. “We’ll go back to hunting. If he survives, he lives. If he dies, it’s what he deserves.” He turned around, ready to take his horse out before Hikray called again.

“My king!” If he dared to make another request, he’d probably have the same fate as me, so he tried his best to commute my sentence. “For how long?” Well, if he hadn’t asked, the king would’ve just left me in the wild forever.

“Till we finish our hunt – be sure to hunt him down.”

The soldiers hailed.

“Your majesty,” I said. This time my voice was soft, not daring to sound threatening. The soldiers grunted from my annoyance. “Do I get to do anything in order to survive this hunt?”

The king sighed, as if he was annoyed at how his morning was ruined. “Whatever. If there’s something honorable you did – perhaps killing one of my soldiers, I’d give you my praise.” From his tone, he sounded doubtful that I would.

“I’d get to do anything?”

“Anything.”

Chapter Text

It wasn’t actually a hunting game for me. It was my execution.

They gave me time to run, and I hid as far away as possible. My clothes were slowing my legs down, so I forcefully ripped the lower part off, making it only long enough to cover my thighs. My face was bleeding from the whip, as it left a cut on my eye. I could feel it swelling, for I could barely see through it. It felt painful just by grazing the wind as I ran. I ripped my sleeves off, and tied it around my head to cover the eye, leaving me with only one open eye.

Only a few seconds, and I already looked like a wild animal. They had begun hunting, sprinting their horses towards the deers on the other side of the field. They moved separately, searching for animals and keeping an eye on me at the same time. Luckily, the grass was tall enough for me to hide in. But if their horses sprinted toward me without me realising, I might be stomped to death. 

I kind of hoped Hikray was somewhere, to bring me to hide in a safe place. He was with them too, but I could not afford to get him into more trouble. Ever since I came, I’d only been a burden to others.

Well, I only had the king to blame. He gave me this duty, he insulted his servants. I wasn’t going to let him be any more arrogant.

Not long after, somebody had eventually reached this area. They probably figured I would hide under the tall grass, but no, I wasn’t their priority. 

“Hey, mate. Look! There’s so many deers there! This should be the best spot to shoot!”

“Shouldn’t we prioritize the criminal? He needs to be hunted down now.”

“Relax. He’s going to die anyway. We’ll find him anytime soon. Maybe he’s dumb enough to stumble upon us.”

They laughed. If I had the power, I’d wipe them off right then, but I couldn’t. Their horses moved along with the deers, the soldiers aiming to shoot at them while chit-chatting. 

There was a sound of a horse sprinting closing in. Their laughs died down and moved their horses away from their spot. “Hey. The king’s coming – don’t slack off.”

I carefully raised myself up to eye at the king from the grass, hoping they wouldn’t notice. His horse was sprinting towards my direction, towards me. I panicked as I thought he had found me, but the king’s eyes weren’t on me. He was aiming at the deer too, where the soldiers were shooting at. His bow raised at his eye-level, pulling his arrow backwards, ready to shoot. The horse wasn’t fast, but also wasn’t slow, and something came into my mind.

Hikray had said the king was a good hunter, but he wasn’t aware of his surroundings when locked on a target. As the horse approached, I braced myself for impact. I launched myself at the horse, and the horse roared. The king was startled, before I pulled him off the horse. We fell to the ground, and the horse had stopped running after reaching a distance.

The king fell first, and I was on top of him. Before he could move, I pinned him down forcefully. Though I was sure he would easily break off the hold, he was too shocked to do anything. 

My breathing was quick, after doing something so thrilling. My face was close to his, but I kept our distance. I felt proud, and filled with pride as if I had done something amazing that I couldn’t stop the smirk that was forming on my lips. 

“Is this honorable, my king?”

Before he could respond, an arrow pierced through my chest. I choked on my saliva. Warm blood slowly spilled out of me. I glanced at the king, as if hoping he would justify this. He looked shocked as I was. My world blacked out before I could reach for something from him.

...

Rin.

Rin.

What is he doing?

Why is he so close to Seizhu?

Why are you guys so close?

No.

Get away from him.

He’s mine.

RIN.

I gasped, so hard that I felt a sharp pain through my chest. I woke as if I had been drowning. The harder I breathed the stronger the pain. The hard bed wasn’t helping either – I needed a mattress, I needed a pillow, I needed something soft.

I was in my room, with new clothes and bandages wrapped everywhere around my body. I felt hot. I needed them off. I wanted to rip them off of me. 

I grunted when I forced myself to sit up, the pain unbelievably endless through my body. My head was dizzy, my eye was burning, and my chest was splitting. I needed to rest – to stop moving, but I needed cool air.

A cold shower would do me wonders right then.

I whimpered when I stumbled to the ‘window’. The night was hot like hell, but usually it was cold. The weather just chose to not function at the right fucking time. Something climbed up my throat, and I puked out of the ‘window’. My mouth felt disgusting, and sweat was all over me. If I had the power, I’d jump right then – off the fucking tower and to the ground, but my legs wouldn’t listen.

I screamed to the outside world, letting everyone hear the miserably I was in. My legs gave out, and I dropped to the floor, welcomed by another wave of pain on my chest.

So fucking hot.

“Vivyn!” 

I didn’t care who it was. I’d figured it would be none other than Hikray. I just needed all the pain to vanish. He came to me, holding my arms in his hands and checking my wounds. “Are you okay? Fuck, you look bad – Hold on, Vivyn!” The hands grazing me just made me feel hotter. I wish I could push them away but I was too tired to. 

He carried me out of my room. The way they ran made the wind hit against my body, and it made me feel a little better from the breeze. Though I still couldn’t ignore the piercing feeling through my chest, as if my blood vessels were tearing apart and they’re screaming for me to end it all.

“Stop,” I pleaded. My hand came to grip the collar on his shirt, pulling it like it would make him stop moving. “It – hurts.” 

But he didn’t stop. He kept going, and my chest felt hotter and hotter, a sticky fluid trailed down my waist. I went to touch them, not long to realise it was my blood.

“We’re almost there, Vivyn! Hang on –”

Hikray stopped suddenly, and I felt him kneel down. “My king,” he blurted shakily. Oh. Out of anyone, the king was the last person I wanted to see. I needed him away. He did this to me. I was in so much pain thanks to him. “What brings you here tonight? I – I didn’t expect your majesty to be awake at this late hour.”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

I could feel Hikray tremble. Now that he had stopped moving, the pain was more relieved. I could finally calm my breathing, and be able to fix my mind upon the world. My vision was blurry when I blinked my eyes open – perhaps blinded my stressed tears. It was dark, not even a light to brighten my view.

“I was on guard duty, and I found a servant injured. We’re heading to the infirmary now.”

“You shouldn’t,” the king answered coldly.

“But my king –”

“This peasant laid a scratch on my horse. Sparing his life is the biggest pride he could get, and he shall not receive any further treatment.”

Hikray’s lips were dry. They were twitching as he tried to search for words, and he licked them wet before he spoke. “You’re a king of your word. I am proud to serve your majesty – but I wish to ask for treatment for my friend, as your loyal soldier.”

“You will not,” the king was unbothered. “I’ve taken your request to spare his life when he insulted my royalty, have I not?  Hikray. If it wasn’t for a loyal soldier, you would have been beheaded with him by now. I’ve granted your gratitude, and now you dare ask for more?”

Now Hikray was truly lost for words, and the king took it as an understanding.

“So be it.”

With that, the king left. Hikray obeyed his commands, taking me back to my room and laid me on bed, hoping for the best. He stood by the bed as I tried to fight the pain, unwilling to leave the room for I looked on the verge of death. 

“I shouldn’t have let you stay in the barn,” he whispered. The crimson red eyes of his glowed in the dark.

“It was – my fault,” I said. “I’m sorry – for getting you in trouble.”

Hikray took a sharp breath, and left the room without another word.

Chapter Text

I woke up to a woman smearing some kind of liquid on my wound. The pain was sudden, I hadn’t even expected it from the deep sleep I was having. I cursed, pushing her hands away before a figure came to pin my hands down against the bed. I glared up at Hikray – 

Rin.

My eyes widened when I saw who it was, not daring to move a muscle.

Why is he here?

“What –” I blurted, as I came back to my senses and the pain was overwhelming again. “What are  you – doing here – ah!” I screamed when the woman rubbed my wound with the liquid. She looked like a mistress of the infirmary with the way she dressed – all white and clean with several pieces of equipment by her side. That was when I noticed the needles and threads placed on my bed. I wasn’t ready to be stitched.

I struggled against his hold as I tried to escape. “Me? Oh, sorry for intruding. Your friend, Hikray, asked for me to bring you a healer. Well, we assumed you wouldn’t feel the pain to treat you while you’re asleep, but it seems you’re still conscious. You’re lucky we came on time. Your wounds look severe.”

“Don’t – need it!” I said as I kicked my legs. I arched my back when she still constantly rubbed on my wound, not ever slowing down as if she couldn’t get the hint of soothing my pain. “Fuck – stop! It hurts – let go of me!”

“Fuck? What’s that word? I’ve never heard of that,” he said cheerfully, tightening his grip on my wrists at the same time. “You should stop kicking, unless you want to be tied down. It’s harder to treat you if you keep moving around.”

“I said – I don’t need –”

“I don’t think tying him up would work,” the nursemaid suggested. “There’s nothing to attach the ropes on. Should you find a way to knock him out?”

“I’ve got a better idea,” Rin cheered. He hopped onto the bed, sitting from my back and pushing me up. His hands still held on my wrists, which then he had me cross-hugging myself just above my chest with my back laid against his front. He stuffed his legs into my inner-thighs, pressing them down and keeping them from moving. 

I felt trapped.

My whole body was caged. Every part of my limbs were locked and I couldn’t escape. His back laid against the wall beside the bed, facing my open wounds towards the woman who kneeled by the bed. It was embarrassing – how I’m practically naked in front of a man and a woman.

“Does this work?”

“It does. Keep him down,” she said. Her voice was soft, yet her words stung. The nurse took the needle in her hand, the thread was ready to stitch. 

“Wait,” I muttered, yet none of them would bat an ear. I was going to burst out in tears if they didn’t stop.

“Don’t worry,” Rin whispered from behind. I could feel his hot breath against my neck, and I tried my best not to shiver from it. “Hugging yourself would make it less painful.”

...

The garden looked abandoned. It was too quiet, as if no one had ever stepped foot in. There were several servants though, cleaning in different areas with a supervisor commanding us. I had a patch on my eye, the nursemaid insisted it was to avoid contact with air until it fully heals. My movements were slippery as I swept the floor with a broom. My chest felt much better, but I still had to be gentle. Now that I was given more relaxed work to do, I was grateful to not be in that barn again, and learned to keep my mouth shut.

I didn’t know what purpose I had now, staying in this place – this universe. Everybody was now a stranger, and I had to live a life that wasn’t mine. The friends I made, and the life I worked for were now out of grasp. I was to be a servant my whole life, with everyone looking down at me. I hated this universe.

I want to go home.

“Vivyn!” I yelped when someone popped from behind, turning to see Rin grinning with fancy clothes on. He was the last person I wanted to talk to, excluding the king.

“How do you know my name? Why are you here?”

I tried to sound as coldly as possible, but he didn’t acknowledge my unwelcoming tone. “How? Hikray told me, of course. How else would I have known who I was treating? Besides, this is where the lord and ladies wander around. I’d be here often to accompany them.”

“You don’t seem to have any duties for the way you walk like a free bird.”

“Really? Well, sort of. I’m a courtier. You could say I’m every lords’ and ladies’ favourite –  even the king enjoys my accompaniment. I can do whatever I want. You wouldn’t believe how awful they are in bed.”

I made a disgusted face. Honestly, I’d rather work as a servant than his job. I didn’t know how he brought himself to that, but he seems to enjoy it. It sounded nice too somehow, having to stay with the royals everyday rather than having to work. I shook my thoughts away and returned to work, ignoring his presence.

I made my way towards the marble pavilion, not bothering with Rin following behind. There was a bridge above the lake with a roof to block the sun. It felt much better than working beneath the blistering sun, and I took it as an excuse to sweep under the booth. 

“Do you want me to show you how they do?” Rin asked suddenly. Before I could decline without caring what he meant to show, my back slammed against the pillar on the bridge. A hand wrapped around my throat, subduing me instead of throttling. His face was close to mine in seconds. The broom I held dropped onto the floor. I slammed my fist against his chest to push him away but another of his hands seized my wrists.

I was caged again, by a person I hated most. 

Had I not been quiet? What have I done to deserve this?

“Fuck – off,” I hissed, keeping my face distanced from his that was closing in, but the pillar was no way through. 

“I’d really like to know what the word means – perhaps add it to our dictionary. I bet the king would use it often when he fumbles me in bed.” His lips pressed against mine as the hand on my throat lifted my chin up to face his taller figure. I groaned against him. His mouth tasted disgusting. My head moved to part away from his lips yet his hand kept me in place. I bit his lips till he bled in hoping he would pull away from pain, but he didn’t. Instead, it made him grin wider in the kiss. His strength was undoubtedly strong, where I couldn’t recall myself being so weak – or was it just ‘Vivyn’s’ body being physically weak. 

His lips parted after what felt like hours, then they reached my neck to bite it forcefully. When a sound left my throat, his hand would climb up to cover my mouth, tilting my head slightly to the side to make more room for him to fiddle my neck. My eyes closed when I felt his teeth sink into my flesh, though I swore some servants noticed us but turned a blind eye. 

Blood must have drawn, and his tongue licked them dry. I lifted my leg slumply to lay a harsh kick on him, before a yell stopped him from pushing things further. “You there!”  He jerked his head away from me, but his hands held firm – he stopped, not from being terrified of being caught, but being interrupted from his business. His eyes remained calm, as if there was nothing to be afraid of. 

“I ordered you to clean, and you dare act a disgrace! You do not leave this place until I have the guards –” He fell silent when his eyes landed on Rin, and knelt down without a thought. He stuttered as he tried to search for words to make apologies. “I sincerely apologize for my dishonor – Rin! I did not know you were here. I – I wish to not send a word of this to the king, but I hope you take this somewhere private if not for the lords and ladies to see.”

“You are assiduous to your duty. I simply could not blame you for keeping things in control. You have my thanks if you are to keep this untold or forgotten.”

“I’d be sure to, my lord!”

“No. I am of no lord. Rin will do.”

The supervisor hailed. I could speak of curses if it wasn’t any better to keep my mouth shut. Rin’s hands finally left my body, and I couldn’t help but sigh in relief. He nodded at the supervisor, then spared a glanced at me before whispering to my ear, “You are of one good fuck.” I left him a death glare before he laughed at my response and walked away. Now I was left alone with the supervisor. He stood from his position and simply told me to clean before leaving the bridge. I picked my broom up and proceeded with my duty, my mind was screaming to me about ways to avoid Rin in the sooner days. 

I want to go home. 

Chapter Text

“How’s your duty? Are you happy with it?” Hikray dropped by to ask. 

It had been a week since I’d seen him. Rin also hadn’t been showing up the week, which I was happy about. Hikray and I’s works are so separated, we’d rarely meet up with each other. I kind of missed his presence, as he was to be one of my closest friends in my universe. Even though we still were one in this universe, I barely got to get in contact with him. His suit looked more delicate, and his cloak had gotten longer than it almost reached his feet. I liked it better than the one he used to wear.

“Good,” I said, debating whether I should tell him about Rin in my mind. “It’s much better than the barn. At least, their air here smells refreshing. It’s best when it rains too, though we would have to clean up the fallen leaves. What about you? Did you get promoted?”

Hikray only smiled at that. “You really are a different Vivyn – but hey! I don’t mind at all. It’s nice to hear you talk. Oh, and promoted? I am now an honored soldier! Look at my suit!” He turned around, showcasing his new costume. His face was filled with pride, and a smile so proud to himself. He eyed at me, making sure I took a good look. “This suit was made by the finest tailor in this palace! Now, I get to command the younger knights!”

I clapped my hands softly to celebrate his promotion, quickly returning back to sweeping to avoid being caught by the supervisor for slacking off. 

“That’s great to hear. What do you usually do? Despite going to wars.”

“Let’s see – I train younger soldiers. I stay by the king’s side whenever he leaves the castle. I lead my comrades to hunt. I also have guard duties at night, just wandering around the palace to ensure safety. It’s fun if you ask me!”

“It does,” I said. “I bet you have the lords and ladies’ respect.”

“Speaking about that,” Hikray said, his tone suddenly not as cheerful. “They are all coming to this garden next week – probably stay for a few days. Has your supervisor told you that? They are to celebrate the recent war of victory. There are going to be feasts every day and night. So, you might want to prepare yourself for overnight duties. The king is to come too. You should be careful.”

“You’ve just been to war?”

Hikray was surprised that was all I only got from his forewarning, but he took it that I would know how to endure the celebration. A smile formed on his lips.

“I did – and I fought the best! That’s how I was promoted!” 

...

The feast was set in the hall of the garden. Lords and ladies began stepping foot into the garden. The servants all dressed more elegantly, and not our usual plain white tunic. We wore neat and fancier tunics with modest embellishments. It was to finally see ourselves dressed in colours, instead of some funeral-like clothes. We stood by the entrance of the hall, bowing to every lord and lady we saw. 

It’d been almost half an hour since all the lords and ladies had attended, but the king was yet to be seen. He kept everyone waiting, the feast not able to start without his arrival, and the servants could only stand under the cold night. 

Does he have no shame?

Even if he was the king, he should have some empathy. What of a king is he that everyone was so loyal to serve? I doubt anyone could stand to serve someone so arrogant. Not to mention, he was young too. Most of the servants that served him are older and yet he showed no respect. And his attitude? He should shove his –

“THE KING HAS ARRIVED!”

We immediately bowed as a line of soldiers walked to the line of the entrance. From the corner of my eye, he wore an embroidered doublet, a red cloak and polished shoes. Luxurious, was all I could describe it as. The soldiers wore similar suits to Hikray’s but with plainer colours. I looked down at the ground when the king approached, but he stopped in front of me and I sucked in a deep breath to prepare for his insults.

“What’s with that face? Impatient already?”

I fixed my expression, softening my features even though I didn’t know what I was really expressing, or whether he was speaking to me. 

“The king is speaking to you, bluehead!” a soldier yelled.

“I –” I don’t see a problem with my face. Perhaps your majesty needs a cleaning for your eyes – I hesitated with my words. “I’ve just been tired lately. I apologize for my behaviour, my king.” That felt like shit coming out of my mouth.

The king only chuckled doubtfully. He was about to make another comment before a lady interrupted him. “My king! You’ve arrived! Queen Mother insisted for me to take your majesty in. She – she has begun to grow impatient.”

My lips twitched as a smirk almost formed, knowing that his mother felt the same as I did. I kept myself in control, but my deed did not escape the kings’ eyes. He glared at me before quickly marching into the hall. The soldiers followed, and we closed the door when all had entered. The entrance led a pathway of red carpet to the throne placed in the middle of the front hall. The lords and ladies' seats were at either side of the carpet. They stood to bow at the king as he passed each of their seats. He took his seat by the throne with the Queen Mother by his side, lifting the cup on the table high up in the air.

“Tonight,” he announced, his voice was filled with wealth and power. “We feast to celebrate victory. The enemy defeated, our lands intact. Victory was always ours to take. You fought, and you may take your pride. Enjoy yourselves. The glory is ours, as it should be.” The soldiers hailed, and the lords and ladies cheered. The feast had begun.

Servants stood behind the lords and ladies, and chefs entered the food with their hands holding fine food, serving to the king then the lords and ladies. It was one boring feast. All servants could do was watch and admire. I was desperate to leave.

A servant by my side knocked my arm with theirs. I looked to my side, keeping it low. It was a girl – perhaps the same age as mine. Her eyes stared ahead with a smile, not turning to look at me when she was the one who called. “You’ve got the king’s eyes on you,” she said quietly.

I frowned, putting my eyes back to the crowd. “I don’t.”

The chandelier on the roof gave the room a perfect lighting. It felt comforting just standing under its light – not without the lords and ladies though.

“You do. I can see the king constantly casting a glance on you from his throne. Do you know each other? I mean – he noticed you at the entrance. I didn’t think a king would care to look at the servants’ faces.”

“We don’t. I must’ve been a burden to his eyes. He’s probably planning to execute me now.”

“He wouldn’t,” she assured. “Executing someone at a celebration would be a disgrace. It was a rule left by the ancestors. He must’ve fallen for your beauty – I wouldn’t blame him either. You are a fine man. What’s your name? We should get to know each other.”

“That is disgusting.” No. It’s Seizhu. “And no – he hates me. We met and I got under his shoes and he tried to execute me but failed. I’m Vivyn. You?”

“Hailey – but they call me Hay. And oh, what a harsh meeting. But no, I can see something in his eyes. It isn’t partly hatred towards you, but something else. You might just have the chance to lay the king.” 

“Hailey. Out of all the ladies he can choose and he’d lay his eyes on a man?”

“What’s the matter? Rin could get the lords and the king’s attention, why wouldn’t you?”

Because Rin is a slut.

“He –”

“Look,” she cut me off. “The king and mother queen are wrangling.”

I looked at the throne. They weren’t exactly arguing. The queen mother looked as if she wanted to announce something but the king insisted for her not to. She was persistent, and he couldn’t help but palmed his face as she stood with her finger flicking her cup, taking the guests’ notice. The crowd fell silent, and she began to speak. Her voice was soft, but it resounded through the hall. 

“Now, now – may I know which soldier of you led the army to victory? Such bravery should be rewarded for all to see, shouldn’t it?” She sounded blithe, a tone that’d make people enjoy chatting with – unlike the king who was always rude and displeased. 

“What an honor to present,” one of the lords spoke. I was startled when I realized it was Kei, a friend of mine in my universe. He was a lord, and I hadn’t even noticed from the gate. “It is none other than my student, Hikray, who I have coached since he became a soldier. He is my pride and joy, and I am proud to present a soldier of my blood and sweat – to you, my queen.”

She smiled. “May I ask this soldier to step up?”

The king wanted to interrupt her, but he chose to falter his words, allowing her to have her moment. At the very least, he still paid respect to his queen mother.

All eyes turned towards the line of soldiers guarding by the entrance. My eyes landed on Hikray, who stood in the middle of the line. He was surprised to be called, and unable to respond to the queen’s request. A soldier beside him grinned, pushing him forward to signal for him to pull himself together. Hikray stumbled forward, before regaining his balance and began marching towards the throne.

She took her time observing him as Hikray bowed to them, while the king beside showed an annoyed expression. 

“Have you been promoted for your deed?”

“I have, my queen. I sincerely thank the king’s recognition, and I swore to serve my country with pride.”

“You are to,” she said proudly. “An elite warrior should not do as much – a lord would fit  to your title.”

The room gasped – even the king was in dismay at her announcement, and Hikray immediately knelt to the ground. “Queen mother,” he said in disbelief. He could not take on such a title, but rejecting the queen’s honor would be an act of disgrace. In a room with the king and the lords and ladies, if she was to grant him in the eyes of royalties, he was to receive. “Your grace fills my heart with – gratitude beyond words. I – my loyalty is yours for all my days.”

“Very well, then.” She turned to the king. “Give this lord an empire. It’s be nice for his grace to stay near my place.” The king could say nothing, only staring at her with doubt. 

“May I dare ask for a request, queen mother?”

“Hikray,” the king warned, his voice fierce.

“No,” the queen cut him off. “I’ll give you my ear.”

“I wish to have Vivyn to be a servant of mine, for I cannot bear to part with my old friend.”

Hailey’s eyes turned to me, her eyes full of admiration.

“Take it,” she said. “You have my honor.”

Chapter Text

“What’s the difference between a lord and an elite soldier? You’re both respected. What else can a lord do despite having their own empire and servants?”

I became Hikray’s personal servant, a commander of his empire’s workers. I wasn’t used to it at all, being a garden cleaner and turned to a lord’s servant within a week. I bet Hikray felt the same frustration. 

We were in the room of his empire now. The servants were outside cleaning the dusted place while we were in his room ready to get him to rest. The feast had just ended, and the king told him to move to his empire right away, instead of waiting for the next day, obviously troubling him to stay in an old and dusty place before we get the time to clean after a long night. We sorted the room first, making sure the mattress was clean to lay on. 

“I have never slept in this kind of place before,” Hikray sighed, overwhelmed with the sudden royalty given. To have an empire of his own wasn’t anything servants could ever have. “But, you know – sounds fun, being a lord. I’d still have to train the younger soldiers, attend to wars when needed, meetings with the king, but I can do so much more now!”

“Like?”

Hikray hummed, his eyes admiring his own palace. “I don’t have to do midnight guard duties anymore. I can go wherever, do whatever I want when I’m bored. I get to have a private chef. I get to – sleep with the ladies.” He trailed the last words.

“What?” I was caught off guard. Was that something he manifested in doing? 

His eyes fell onto me, and they were filled with desire. 

“Do you want me to show you what I can do?”

I drew back slowly as he began stepping closer. I stumbled against a table, my hand gripping onto it as there was no way backing off, and before I could turn away, Hikray had caged me against it. His hands laid just beside where my hands gripped, and his leg pushed between my thighs. He pushed his face closer to mine. 

Why are you just like Rin?

That was when Hikray chuckled, his face parted away as he laughed. That was the biggest relief I had ever felt at that moment. “Calm down! I was just jo –”

“THE KING HAS ARRIVED!”

We quickly settled back to a formal position, kneeling down before the king could catch us but he was already in the room. He was speechless from what he saw, not a word was spoken while we knelt before him. If it wasn’t for having to bow our head down, I’d actually like to see the face he made.

“A lord does not kneel,” the king commanded. “They bow.”

“Oh. Right.” Hikray quickly stood, bowing at the king before keeping a straight posture. “W – what brings you here, my king?”

“Some business matters. It seemed you were busy?” The king mocked.

“No! Not at all! We were just –”

The king held a palm to refrain Hikray from talking. He moved to sit on the desk Hikray had just pinned me against, crossing his legs with a rude posture like an arrogant king he was. He must’ve signaled Hikray something, for his legs kicked me gently at my side insisting for me to stand. When I did, I noticed the king’s cloak was off. All that left was his fine dark tunic. 

“I’d like to make some rules here before the two of you become overly supercilious in my palace. First of all, I do not want to see that again – the two of you, rutting like swine. Second, you’ll see the queen mother everyday. I do not care if you’re ill or busy at war, one of you must offer your thanks to her for giving you this tribute, which I would never grant. And third, fight me in my ground every noon I order you to. If you are to be a lord, prove to me that you are a worthy soldier so I don’t feel outraged about how she chose you to be one without my approval.”

I hope she keeps you under control.

“Yes, my king,” Hikray said, but the king had his eyes on me. His brows furrowed, as if I had done something to offend him.

“Do you have a say in this?”

I blinked, annoyed at how he always tried to put the fault on me. It felt like no matter how hard I kept myself quiet, he would still find a way to put blame in me. “I do not.”

He huffed. “You’d think your lips twitching wouldn’t be conspicuous? Not once have I seen you not insulting me in your mind. Tell me. I’m all ears.”

“I have not.”

The king only smiled in annoyance. I did not dare to look at him, mostly because I might just spit insults at him if I saw his face again. He uncrossed his legs, pushing himself off the desk to leave. As his servant bowed when he reached the doorway, he stopped his movement. “Your servant will pay me a visit whenever you are off duty, and I’ll have my guard watching. Should you not obey my command, I’ll have you beheaded by the next day. Your servant needs to know their place and learn who they serve in this palace.”

...

Wherever we went, the king’s guard would follow. Specifically, wherever I went, he would follow. Whenever I washed up, he would stand by the bathhouse. Whenever I slept, he would stand by my sleeping chamber. By this rate, he might as well be my personal servant. 

I had no privacy. The guard was more loyal to me than I was to Hikray, like an obedient dog, though he does not acknowledge my commands. I had spoken about this problem to Hikray, and he tried to talk the king through but failed. “Should he kneel and beg me, I might just consider,” Hikray repeated the same words the king had told him.

I groaned in frustration. Perhaps we could ask the queen mother to speak with the king, but hey – she’s done enough for us. If we were to ask more from her, we’d be seen as taking advantage. It was best we resolve this ourselves.

“I’ve got duty now. Lord Kei invited me for training,” Hikray said. The guard behind us shifted, aware it was time I made my way to the king. We walked him to their training field. Every step felt closer to the king. Once Hikray was gone, I’d have to drag myself to the king, as if sending myself to a nightmare.

We bowed to Lord Kei when we reached the battle ground. Several young soldiers were fighting with wooden swords, while some were learning archery. “Come on! We’ve got work to do,” Lord Kei said, walking himself into a storage hut. 

Hikray placed a hand on my shoulder. The tunic I wore was dark and neat, finally something that made me feel like a human in place. A lord’s personal retainer is to be respected by the other soldiers and servants. I had a title, and I had a worth. Everything that had been done to bring me here was Hikray. He was my lord, my friend, and my saviour. 

“Be careful,” Hikray said. “Don’t act without thinking. All you have to do is kneel and beg. You’re not giving your soul to him, you’re only asking to be accepted.”

I gave him a warm smile. I hadn’t been able to do that for a while, since I was last in my universe. “It’s a gift for Vivyn to have a friend like you, my lord,” I said, my voice was gentle. Hikray was flustered. His face burned red, and he quickly walked into the battle ground to find Lord Kei.

I sighed and began making my way towards the king’s palace, though I really didn’t know the way. I had never once been to his place. “Could you lead me?” I simply asked the guard. This time, he responded to my request. The guard stepped forward and began his way to the king’s palace. He’d only care if it was to serve his king, and not some rogue who he was forced to watch over time.

We walked through pathways I’d never been to, but from where I stood, I could see the large palace ahead. It didn’t take long before we reached the grand gatehouse guarded by soldiers. Towering stone walls with turrets and battlements, and the castle had layered roofs with golden tiles and dragon carvings. The tension was unbearable when we entered the gatehouse. Soldiers were everywhere guarding the palace, their eyes following every of our movements. 

We entered the palace, to a room where the throne, elevated on marble steps with a golden throne, sat in the middle of the front hall but with no king present. The guard had me kneel by the throne while he searched for the king, and for what felt like hours, he returned. 

“The king asks to see you,” he said.

Not by the throne? Well, it’d be better than seeing him sit on a throne he didn’t deserve.

He guided me through the palace, passing through every luxury chamber, then to a room with closed doors. He bowed by the doorway, gesturing for me to enter. “The king awaits.” I pulled the door open and closed it from my back. There was a sound, which I followed that led me to his sleeping chamber, and I saw

Rin.

And he was – whoring around with the king on the bed.

But it wasn’t the king I saw at that moment, it was Seizhu. To think that someone I had hated most, whom I killed just so Seizhu could be left alone, was still able to find his way to him in another universe. 

Seizhu and Rin were fucking.

My love is fucking with my enemy.

It was – something I never wanted to unfold in my dear life.

Chapter Text

My love.

I choked on myself when a sound forced out of Rin’s throat. Seizhu was behind Rin, thrusting himself against him with his hand pulling one of Rin’s to the back, making him arch his back so his head would part away from the sheets. Rin had his other hand grip on the sheets, grunting clearer than before as he couldn’t muffle his sounds into the mattress beneath. Seizhu turned his head to my voice, his body still moving to his desire. 

“You’re here,” he said, his voice hoarse. His eyes were glimmering with exhaustion. Sweats were all over his face.

“I’m sorry,” I blurted, turning around to take my leave but to be stopped by him. 

“If you dare step another foot, I’ll have the guards behead you right this instant. Come – I order you to watch.”

The sound of Rin moaning.

I slowly turned myself towards them, not daring to take a step closer. I had my hand covering my mouth, my body was trembling with fear and disgust. “I said come closer,” Seizhu commanded. I limped towards the bed, my breathing was fast and shaky, but I tried to calm myself down to not appear weak. He lifted his hand at me, gesturing for me to take it but I couldn’t bear to touch his filthy fingers. 

I walked closer, till I reached the front of the bed. His hand remained still, as if he wasn’t to pull away till I took it. I slowly slid my hand to him, but he thrusted his hand forward to grab on my wrist, pulling me down to kneel by the bed. Now I watched them rut by my eyes, every movement clearer than it could ever be. Rin had eventually pulled his gaze on me, his eyes were blurred with tears, and his cheeks were flushed red. 

He moaned.

“Watch,” Seizhu said.

Seizhu gripped his hand on Rin’s thigh, pulling him closer and moving at a faster pace. Rin screamed. He tried to pull his hand out of Seizhu’s hold but it wouldn’t budge. Every thrust he gave, a sound would come out of Rin.

I felt something climb to my throat, my hands reached to cover my mouth and I turned my head away from the sight. “Look away again,” Seizhu said from above. “And I’ll cut your head off myself. Swallow your vomit, and keep your eyes on us.”

...

I’d done nothing.

I staggered back to Hikray’s chamber, my mind unable to erase the scene. 

That was all. I sent myself there only to witness them bedding. I had gone there to kneel and beg for him to remove his guard, but was ordered to leave once they finished their deed. I could speak of nothing. Now I looked like I’d seen a ghost – worse than that. At some point, I had puked by the walls. They had longed to come out for how many times I swallowed them back in. 

This wasn’t the end. I still had to see the king when Hikray was off duty. I still had to serve the king my whole life. I still had to rot in this palace. I began pondering if I should end my life before things got worse. Would my soul return to my universe if I did so? Where would Vivyn go if I’d just ended his life here? He might as well just give up this life of a waste.

“Did it work?” Hikray asked, before his eyes landed on the guard behind me, and sighed in defeat. “It’s fine. If you stay obedient, it will work someday. The king wouldn’t be so persistent in troubling a servant.” He would.

I tried to keep my expression bright, so Hikray wouldn’t suspect what I had been through. I didn’t want questions from him – not at the moment. I needed to be alone, and sleep away my thoughts.

“Are you – okay?” he asked in concern.

I nodded. “I’ll make it work someday.”

Hikray smiled at that. He tapped on my shoulder and turned around to leave his sleeping chamber. “Come on! You must be hungry. I’ve left some food for you.” When he noticed me not following, he reached to hold my wrist, and guided me to the dining table.

He sat me down, with the lord himself beside me. He opened the lid of a bowl of food on the table. Pork meat with a bowl of rice, and some tender vegetables – something I hadn’t eaten since I was a barn worker. But they did not fit my appetite – I was in no mood to eat.

Seizhu had done it with Rin.

I was in the mood to cry.

My breathing became sharp, but I held my tears back. My eyes stared at the bowl of food, but not making a move to feast. Hikray took notice, and picked the bowl up himself and fed the spoon to my mouth. “Ah,” he mouthed gently, something Seizhu in my universe would have done instead of making me watch him – 

My lips parted, and the spoon slid into my mouth. I gnawed on the food. Tears were streaming down my face before I could realize. “Vivyn.” Hikray’s hand had come to my eyes, wiping away their tears with his thumb. I couldn’t look at him – I couldn’t look at anyone. I could only stare at the bowl he held by his abdomen, my eyes blinked every time I felt him touch my lashes. “What did he do to you?” It came as a whisper, but he did not expect to receive an answer. It was more to himself, as he figured I wouldn’t be in the mood to speak.

That night, I did not sleep in my own chamber. I shared a bed with Hikray. It wasn’t my idea, he was the one who insisted on sleeping by his side. My back was against Hikray’s chest as I laid sideways to stare at the desk with a candle lit. His chin laid on my hair, while his hand hugged my chest, and another caressed my hair. 

The king might assume this of us rutting like swine, but we hoped he wouldn’t come, and the guard wouldn’t tell. He stood by the doorway, watching us from a distance. Hikray chuckled at the guard, taking the mantle to cover half of my face as if to block the guard from my view. His hand returned to wrap around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him.

“Is this what he does to you everyday?"

I simply nodded. It always felt uncomfortable to have a pair of eyes watching me fall asleep.

I truly hate the king.

Suddenly, the hand on my shoulders came to my face. His fingers laid on my lips, staying there still as if to only feel the dryness of my mouth. I didn’t know what came to me, but I kissed them. It was as gentle as possible, perhaps even trying to hide it, but his fingers twitched. His hand came to lift my chin to turn to look at him. I laid still, and our eyes stared at each other with unspoken desire.

He slowly lowered his head down to my face, giving me time to move away before I regretted it, but I did not. His lips were on mine, and we shared a kiss. It was slow, gentle and passionate – enough to distract me from the thoughts of Seizhu and Rin. 

After a few seconds, his lips parted for air, and they pressed down onto mine again. He slid his tongue into mine, and my hand twitched from the sudden move. It found its way to the one holding my chin – not to stop him but in need for something to hold onto. The kiss was desperate, like a secret longing we both had felt.

He groaned before moving away and sitting up. I watched as he stripped his robe, as if he was feeling hot and needed cool air. He was blushing, and his breathings were heavy. “Do you wish to?” he asked, before he planned to thrive further. When I nodded, it brought a smile to his lips. His robe was completely off and he threw it on the other side of the bed. 

Before he went to close the curtains of the bed chamber, he noticed the guard still standing by the doorway. “Could you leave?” he asked breathlessly. For once, the guard actually listened. He turned towards the door and left silently, probably making his way towards the king’s palace to report about this.

Hikray pulled the curtains closed, leaving only the two of us. He pulled me to sit up, my hands reached to steady myself from behind, then his hands came to work on my robe.

We were kissing again when he did so, and I broke the kiss to get some air into my lungs.

“Do you think the guard is making his way to inform the king?”

Hikray only smirked at that. My robe was stripped and he threw it aside. His hand pressed on my shoulder to pin me down, his body fell along, and he caged me against the bed with his hands on either side of my head. I never realized how good he’d looked with that smile.

“Then I’ll enjoy this if it’s the last thing I’ll do.”

Chapter Text

I almost tripped when we exited the doorway of the queen mother’s palace. The guard was more cautious of our actions than he was, observing our every move when he wasn’t as discreet before. I felt more seen than usual, though surprisingly, the king had not burst into Hikray’s palace to start an execution. Perhaps he was waiting for me to take myself to him, and only then he would confront us.

Hikray was to see Lord Kei again. He became the younger soldiers’ favourite, that they’d call for his grace when he stepped by the doorway of the training field. Hikray would wave back at them, before returning to speak with Lord Kei.

The other lord only beamed at Hikray, proud of the growth of the student he once trained. “Seems like you’ve gained their hearts.”

“I was told I am great for a mentor – not without the help of my coach, of course.” 

“Hey,” Lord Kei exclaimed. “Don’t speak to me like I’m an old man. We’ve been confidants seen young. What a pity for me to appear stronger than you, many would think I was years older than you when we are the same age.”

“Oh? I’m probably stronger than you are now, my lord,” Hikray said confidently.

“Ha! Fight me at this instant! We’ll see about that.” Lord Kei’s tone was filled with excitement, as if it’d been a long time since they could bond like this. They grew up since young, but were separated when Kei was to be a lord.

Before Hikray followed, he left me one last glance, still worried about the king to lay hands on me. “I’ll see you as soon as possible,” he assured. I nodded, and we both parted ways. 

As the guard led me to the king’s palace, I heard some yelling from a distance. I stopped my steps and went to take a look, startling the guard and was forced to follow. It was from the garden where I used to work in. Someone was punishing a servant by the pavilion. I could recognize the supervisor, his hand held a whip – and a servant knelt by him as he swung his whip on them.

Hailey.

Her eyes remained shut as her hands placed on her knees. The supervisor’s whip slammed against her arms as he yelled. Her arms had bled, and he did not bother to stop as if punishing further would do any better. 

I rushed towards the scenery, and a faint call came from the guard. “Chief,” I yelled in a low tone, only loud enough to gain his attention. His hand stopped before the whip could land another hit. I stood between them, blocking Hailey from his vision. “She’s hurt. Pushing further won’t solve the problem. She needs to be sent to the infirmary before you put her life at risk.”

“Who are you to command me?” the supervisor growled. Anyone would back off when someone was to stop their act as such dare would only take for nobility to do, but the supervisor did not. He must’ve recognized me as a servant he once supervised.

“I speak in the name of Lord Hikray.”

He cackled, swinging the whip in his hand. “Still a servant after all. You think yourself so highly to the king? I do not serve your lord, I only serve the king. You do not command me. So move along before I swing this at you next.”

“A lord is the king’s honor. He was given the title because he deserves the pride. You serve the lord, you serve the king. I will be taking her with me.”

“You will not!” he roared. The whip slammed against my hand when I turned around and I yelped. It felt rougher than it was when the king’s soldier had hit me. A red bruise already began to form, and I couldn’t imagine the pain Hailey was in. She endured the beating without a sound, and she flinched when she saw me being punished by the supervisor. He prepared for another strike, his whip raised high.

“You –” I tried to stop him, but his whip was landing. Surprisingly, my hands caught the whip, and I snatched it away from him to throw it aside without hesitation. Both of us were startled, and he was furious. This time, he raised his fist at me.

I had never known how to fight. I aimed to stop his fist but a hand has already caught his.

The supervisor turned back in alarm, and retreated his hand immediately to kneel.

“Rin!” he said in panic, unable to explain the situation.

“I’d never expected a fight in the garden – particularly being a supervisor too. What news? I’m certainly interested to know.”

From the back, I could see Hailey smiling with admiration. What joke was this that she could ignore what she had just been through and be excited to see royalty? 

There were guards behind Rin, and he ordered them to take Hailey to the infirmary. When they picked her up, she couldn’t take her eyes off him as if he was a living dream. “Thank you,” she mumbled, her voice filled with joy as if her pain had all disappeared. “Thank you! Thank you! Oh – and you too, Vivyn!” I could only click my tongue. Perhaps I shouldn’t have tried to rescue her.

“I was only punishing my retainer, but this servant who thinks so highly of himself interrupted the middle of the punish –”

“You’ve done enough, no? From the look of her arms, you might as well cut her hands off. Perhaps she should evaluate the harness of the punishment before you start. What did she do?”

“She – she broke a vase of the garden. This vase is highly valuable to Lady Loryn! She deserves to be punished seriously.”

Loryn. Another friend of mine in my universe. I was slowly getting to know my friends’ status.

“Didn’t you just say you serve only the king? Why would a vase of Lady Loryn’s bother you so much? I’d say the punishment should be light, as long as she pays for repair or replacement.” The supervisor shifted, and Rin grinned when he had an answer to his question in his mind. “Or perhaps you have your eyes on the lady? Are you not familiar with the rules? If a servant dares lay an eye on the king’s noble, should they be –”

“Yes! I do know! But I promise I would never lay a hand –”

“What would the king do if he was to hear this?” Rin proceeded teasing.

“No! Please – I beg of you –”

That was a rule? I mean, it did sound logical, but I’d never known. No wonder the king had warned me and Hikray not to rut like swines. I probably should prepare to be beheaded then, the guard should have told the king about last night.

Rin hummed while the supervisor wouldn’t stop begging, till he cut him off and said, “I know how you can make up for it. Why not you pay for the repair, instead of the girl? After how much you beat her up, it should be an apology for your blunder.”

“I will! I must!” the supervisor said, but he kept his kneeling position.

“So? Get on with it.”

He hailed, standing up with his head bowed, and quickly left the garden.

Before I could walk away, avoiding Rin as much as possible, his hand caught my wrist, holding them up to inspect the bruise that had formed. I tried to snatch my hand away, but it wouldn’t budge. Just like how he tried to pull his hand away from Seizhu as they–

“Let go of me,” I growled. He glanced up at me, keeping his eyes innocent like I was supposed to be seduced by him. 

He placed my palm against his cheek, his fingers intertwining with mine. “Is this how you treat me after I saved you?” This time, I successfully pulled my hand away. It felt so much better to not have his filthy fingers on mine.

“You are a fucking slut,” I cursed at him, keeping my tone as low as possible.

I turned away again, only to be pulled back and pinned against a pillar. Last time, it was on the bridge. This time, we were under the pavilion. And really, I had enough, and I was tired of dealing with the disgusting man.

“That’s a new word. What is a slut? From the way you speak, it sounds like an insult –”

He grunted. The hand gripping my wrist faltered as I had kicked his member. I marched away hurriedly, leaving him to suffer for his fault.

“Vivyn,” he called. He seemed to have a word to say, so I stopped and gave him my last ear, keeping our distance where he couldn’t reach. “You must be mad, aren’t you? For what the king made you –”

“I don’t want to hear about it.”

Rin was kneeling on the floor. His hand was covering his member, still trying to relieve the pain. “You have a guard following you? He must be sent by the king to observe you, didn’t he? You are lucky, he didn’t inform the king about the events you had last night.”

I turned to look at him in shock. “What?” I blurted.

“Last night’s feast, you weren’t there with your lord. I went to your empire to take a look, and I heard your sounds through the doorway, then your guard just standing there. I was surprised the two of you hadn’t been beheaded by now. You were to, if the guard had spread the news.”

Fuck. The feast.

I felt grateful, deep down in my heart to the guard. But he might just use it as an advantage to tell the king in the future.

Rin saw me deep in thoughts, then he sighed before he started again. “You wouldn’t have to worry. If the guard was to inform the king now, he’d be beheaded too for keeping it so long. I don’t think he’d want to lose his life just to end yours.”

I was silent for a moment. It was time I took my leave, though I still had one question. “Why are you here? Shouldn’t you accompany the king after what you just did?” the words rolled disgustingly out of my mouth.

“I should,” Rin said. He began standing up, and I was prepared to sprint if he stepped a foot closer. “Your guard found his way to me, said that you are in trouble. I was wondering – he might as well be your servant with that loyalty.”

Chapter Text

I did not go to see the king.

He wouldn’t know when Hikray had duty anyway, and the guard was nowhere to be seen. I left the garden and made my way to the infirmary to see Hailey. It was an act of concern. If the king was to find out I did not obey his multiple commands, he might just understand it was for a reasonable duty.

Hailey was laying on a bed in the infirmary, her arms all patched up. I walked towards her, and when she noticed me, she jumped in surprise. She straightened up with her face filled with excitement, and her hands moved as if they were never injured. “That was insane,” she said. “I was saved by the king’s courtier.”

My eyes twitched in annoyance. She had entirely ignored the one who was the first to stand up for her. “You know what? I shouldn’t have tried and saved you. I might as well just wait for the courtier to show up for you.”

“What? No! I don’t mean that!” She turned around to face her body towards me, her legs touched the floor. She took my hand in hers and gave it a kiss. “You are my knight. I couldn’t thank you any more. If it wasn’t for you, I’d probably have to endure him longer!”

She was a person who never took stuff seriously. A beating sounded so natural rolling out of her tongue, and she wasn’t even bothered by it.

“Does it not hurt?” I asked, genuinely curious.

“Of course it does! Didn’t you see my face? Argh – I was about to launch myself at him if he didn't stop. It’s just a vase! The most I could do is get a new one! What’s with his matter?” she complained to herself. She was disappointed, but it seemed to not leave a scar in her heart. For someone as cheery as her, the problems would pass ever so. She wouldn’t waste her time recalling it and to be bothered or insecure. I really admire her character, if I was to be honest. She was someone I wished to be.

“Would you feel better if I switched your duty under Lord Hikray’s servant?”

Her eyes glimmered, and she had the brightest smile on her face. “Really? Is that possible? Lord Hikray? That is a dream I never dared to wish for! Could you – really make it come true?” She spoke with tears eyes, her voice filled with genuine hope. Now I could do nothing but to fulfill my words.

“I’ll try,” I forced out. “I’ll inform you when I get the news.”

She said her goodbyes, and watched as I left the room – but just as I stepped foot out of the infirmary, I was back into it the next moment. My eyes still staring ahead, the king following my pace as I staggered backwards. I was slow and hesitant, shocked at his presence. Each step he took, he would tilt his head and eyed me with doubt. I could hear Hailey fumbling to kneel from the back. “My king,” she greeted.

My legs knocked onto a bed, and I had eventually stopped backing away. Since when was he there? Did he hear our conversation? Was I to be beheaded then? 

“And where should your lord be?” he said – his voice was deep, and full of indication of me being in trouble.

“I was – taking a walk with him. We found this girl injured, so he ordered me to take her to the infirmary. I was about to make my way back to my lord.” I forced a smile at him.

“Is this true?” he doubtfully asked the girl. 

She’d figured the question was for her, and she was hesitant to answer. 

“It –”

“Utter but one false word, and you die where you stand,” the king threatened.

At that point, she might as well not try to help cover my lies. I was about to speak for her, before she began, “Vivyn saved me from a supervisor’s punishment in the garden of the palace. If he was to be there, he surely must’ve been walking his lord.”

“Or were you supposedly making your way to my palace?” the king’s attention was back to me again.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” I said without a thought, and I realized I’d made the worst mistake. A hand was by my throat before I could make it up, dragging me down to knock my head against the bed, and the king pinning me down against it. 

“My king!” Hailey yelped from the back, but she could do nothing to stop the king.

His hand tightened around my throat, and I felt myself choking further. “I’m sorry,” I forced the words out. My hands gripped on the king’s wrist, hoping to pull them away but my strength was no companion to his. “I’m sorry, please –” 

I was – begging?

To think that I would beg the arrogant king?

I – wanted to live. I still wanted to see Hikray. I still needed to switch Hailey’s duties. I still wanted to go home.

I was afraid I might just never return home if I was to die here right then. I needed time. I needed to wait till the day the universe finally decided to send me home. I still wanted to see my friends. I still wanted to see Seizhu.

I still wanted to live.

“I’ll do – anything. Please –” The words were pointless, if I was to say. He was the king. There wasn’t anything that he couldn’t get from me, but that was all I could force out. Every word felt like a step closer to death, and I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed to die. I felt myself kicking my legs, my sight slowly fading black as my lungs lost air. The hand on my throat gave me one last touch, before moving away in a quick move. A wave of air filled my lungs, and I coughed from the force of my own breath. Hailey was by my side before I could protest. I dropped to the floor, my hand gripping onto the bed as I coughed my lungs out. My breathing was loud, every breath sounded like a struggle, and I could feel Hailey’s hand patting my back.

The king stood unbothered. I could imagine a wide grin on his face.

“What should I make you do?” he questioned himself. He hummed to himself for a moment as I regained my consciousness. My breathing slowed, and I felt as if I’d just returned to life. “Kneel by my palace. You’ll only stand after you finish the sun’s rise and fall.” 

To my surprise, I actually expected more than that.

“My king,” Hailey said. “The snow is to fall.”

“You dare speak for him after all I’ve done?”

Hailey trembled, her head lowered. “No.”

“Great.” The king turned around to make his leave. “I’ll see you at my castle.”

Now we were left alone. Without the king, everything felt softer, and free. Hailey let go of a breath that sounded as if she had been holding for a long time.

“I’m sorry,” I said to the realization of being unable to help. Switching her duties needed an agreement from the king. After what I left to the king, there was no way we’d come to a truce.

She only shook her head. “You fool.”

...

The sun was almost falling before I began, so I figured I’d have to kneel till the next evening. I positioned myself at the front of the gateway, his palace ahead of me. The soldiers guarding the gateway looked at me with confusion, but they dared not speak a word. 

I knelt down. Ladies and lords would pass by, the servants would start whispering at each other. I just became a gossip of their tongues.

An hour must’ve passed. A snowflake fell onto my nose, and I quivered my head for the snowflake to fall. It had gotten immensely cold – I hadn’t even realized it before the snowflake awakened my senses. 

I shivered from the cold. The soldiers guarding the gateway have changed their clothes to winter suits with a cloak wrapped around them. My knees were aching, and they screamed for me to stand. A thought formed in my mind – why would I be kneeling when the king couldn’t see? At least, taking a rest to stand wouldn’t bother, would it?

I shifted, ready to bring myself to stand, then the guards jolted. They took a step forward, hands on their swords as if ready to cut my head off – their eyes glared at me like I was a criminal. That was when I realized the king’s order must’ve come upon them, and they were to keep an eye on me.

“Not even a while?” I asked. 

They remained guarded.

I sighed and returned to kneel. I could feel my knees screaming again as they touched the floor, and the night went on. 

I was close to collapsing. My knees were numb, and my body was freezing. I was thirsty, hungry, sleepy – 

A cloak wrapped itself around me. My whole body tensed and I was brought back to life again. I looked up to see who it was – their features glowing from the moonlight. 

“Vivyn?

Chapter Text

Loryn.

“Lady Loryn,” I blurted in surprise.

A servant was by her side, and they were wrapped with white cloaks. “You must be Lord Hikray’s servant, aren’t you?” Her voice was soft and assuring – just as it sounded in my universe. I nodded quickly.

“How long should you kneel? The king is having a convocation with your lord. He asked me to search for you, and here you are? Is this the king’s command?”

I nodded again, as if I was unable to speak. The lady sighed in pity. “To my knowledge of the king, you must be kneeling overnight. Have you dined? I could –”

“My lady,” one of the soldiers called from the gate. I haven't heard them speak until now. Their voices were childlike, perhaps no older than 15. “The king has given orders to not feed him – not anyone.”

“Is that so?” the lady replied to the soldier. She turned to me again, her mind trying to come up with solutions to help me. I wanted to thank her for her kindness – and that she needn’t worry about me, but her servant spoke before me.

“My lady. The night is far spent – you must rest yourself.” The lady did not answer. She looked as if determined to fulfill Hikray’s request, and I couldn’t help but suspect if she ought to have any personal feelings for him.

“She is right, my lady. You should go. I will be fine. This is just what a servant always does.”

She hesitated for a moment. “I suppose – the cloak is all I could give. I’ll let you lord know. Take care, child.”

Child? We are the same age and she called me a child!

Or was she older than me in this universe? But she looked just my age!

“T – Thank you, my lady,” I stuttered.

Her servant took her hand in hers, assisting her to walk as they left. Their steps left traces on the snow, and the night was quiet again.

...

My body fell forward, but my hands were quick to stabilize myself before I could. They stung when they touched the snow, and when I lifted them up, blood was left on the snow. There were cracks with blood in both my palms, and they wouldn’t stop trembling. I hugged them against my body for warmth – even with the cloak on, my thin clothes weren’t putting effort in keeping me warm. My hands touching my body somehow made me colder, so I fixed the cloak to wrap myself fully.

The guards were switched. They had different duty hours. Just when I had overcome the last two guards’ stares, they changed to new strangers. The morning was yet to come, and my mouth was dry as fuck. I wasn’t hungry – no, the hunger didn’t bother me. I needed water. Mist would form every breath I exhaled. Living in this universe was hell, although it was all what I brought upon myself.

I couldn’t breathe through my nose – it hurt to breathe through my nose. I could only take slow breathes from my mouth, every inhale was a torture as cold air entered my dry throat. All of a sudden, a hand held my chin, lifting my head up to see the king above. I showed no reactions, and I never planned to beg for his mercy if that was what he thought I would do. His thumb grazed my lips – the touch made me realize they were cracked too, the taste of blood brushed my tongue. 

“Do you wish to rest?” the king taunted.

“If you are to make me beg, I do not.”

The soldiers behind him armed themselves, their hands laid by the swords, awaiting the king’s command. My tone was a dishonor to the king, though I hoped the king had gotten used to it, perhaps taking a hint I had rejected his offer as polite as possible. I was exhausted, and pissed. I was in no mood to pay respect to him.

The king only sneered. The next moment I knew, he lowered himself down to carry me in his arms. I yelped in surprise when I was lifted up. His hand at the small of my back and one beneath my knees. I was embraced by the warmth of his body. I ignored how my knees screamed in joy, and I held myself back from snuggling into his chest for more warmth. He carried me through the gateway, and into his palace. 

As if a fireplace, I was immediately greeted by warmth when he entered the palace. I could feel my body regaining its temperature, saliva slowly formed in my mouth. He brought me to a room, and placed me in the bed chamber where he and Rin used to –

I immediately attempted to escape his grasp – kicking myself away from the bed but his hand pinned my shoulders down, his leg knelt in between my thighs. “What’s the matter?” he asked, knowing fully well what was. “Still loathing at the sight of me and Rin ravishing on this bed?”

“Fuck no,” I growled. My hands came to push his grip away, but they hurt just by the slightest touch. I grunted when I felt the crack on my palms widened. The king took my hand and opened the palms to meet his eyes. I snatched my hand back after he finished observing, leaving the bed and walking towards the cabinets and out of the room. I hesitated in leaving the bed when I longed for its warmth. The folded cover on the end of the bed glowed in my eyes, and I urged to not take the king’s stuff.

He returned with a wooden bowl in his arms, his hands holding a cloth strip and a linen – pin and threads. I pushed myself up again, and he groaned when he pushed me back down. 

“Should you move again, I’ll send you back out kneeling,” he warned.

“I don’t want to be stitched,” I mumbled. The king placed the bowl of warm water on his bed, dipping the cloth strip into it before bringing it to wipe my dry lips. 

Out of everything, this was the last thing I expected the king to do. Taking care of me? Treating my wounds? Perhaps my death sentence was soon to come, and this was the final moment he left for me.

He dipped the cloth again, and held my wrist firmly before rubbing the warm cloth on my cuts, then another. His movements were so gentle, that I began to doubt if he was the king himself. Had Hikray taken over his body? Or did the king have an identity disorder?

“Who are you?” I dared to ask.

“Do you need me to violate you as a reminder?”

It was the king.

He placed the cloth back into the bowl when he was done rubbing, then proceeded to smear a sticky fluid on my palms, the same as the nursemaid had used on me. His hand reached for the needle when he was done. I pulled my hand back, but he kept his hold firm. He left me a glare, before fixing the thread into the needle. 

“I don’t want to be stitched,” I said again.

“Do you have a choice?”

The pin went through my skin, and my hand shivered – not from the pain, but from being startled when it touched me. It felt like an ant bite? Nevertheless, it was different to the nursemaid stitching my chest. 

“What did you –”

The door to his room opened suddenly. Footsteps were closing in, but the king did not lift his head up to bother. Rin peeked his head from the wall, his eyes slightly widened by the sight. “My king,” he called, that was only when the king raised his head up to the voice.

“Rin,” the king spoke, his voice filled with passion. No wonder people would say Rin was yet to be his ‘queen’.

I felt something ache in me.

His movement stopped on my hand, and Rin looked like he had something to announce, but was hesitating from my presence. “Do you need him to hear it too? Or –”

“No,” the king said. “He could leave.”

I sucked in a breath.

The king pulled me out of the bed by his hand on my wrist, the stitch was undone. He ordered a guard in, and ‘my servant’ was summoned. The king handed him the equipment he had used, then ordered us to leave at once. “Suit yourself,” he said. “Fina a nursemaid or whatever.”

I wanted to scream at the king – to scream at Seizhu, though I knew I was in no right place to be. I wasn’t anyone special here, I was a servant. 

The guard led me out of the room, and I limped towards the door leaving them with their own business.

Chapter Text

“I’m going to strike the king down,” Hikray said in the middle of his supper.

I jolted, the guard behind did so too. The things he said were absurd, but I somehow felt a sense of hope that he might just be able to accomplish it. 

Hikray had stitched my hands the morning I returned to his empire. I was fed, and changed into warm clothes. While the lord ate his supper, servants must stand by the table and watch. Hikray had asked me not to bother with the rules when no one watched, but I decided not to be overly rebellious. He was to accept himself and to conquer the royalty he deserved to have, and not treat everyone like his friends.

“Would you win?”

Hikray chomped his food as he thought to himself, then he shook his head after swallowing the chunk. “No. The king is the best of the soldiers. I need to train more.”

“You might have a chance,” I said as if encouraging him to play with fire.

“I might,” he said as he chewed. “But defeat means death. I wouldn’t risk that now.”

“What will you do if you win? Would you take his throne?”

“I’m not into that – throne. I just want to take him down.”

“Take who down?” Rin appeared by the door. My mood was immediately turned upside down. My body tensed up, and I moved to allow Rin to join in Hikray’s dining. He took a pair of chopsticks on one of the plates that a servant used to scoop the dish for the lords or ladies, and began devouring his supper.

“You know who,” Hikray said, unbothered by Rin’s arrogance. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with the king?”

“Actually, I seek to join you in bed for tonight.”

Hikray sneered. He played with his food in his bowl with the chopsticks. “Don’t be a fool. You’re not to my liking.”

“How would you know? You haven’t given me a try.”

“I would know just by looking at your face.”

“Why?” Rin said, his voice was sly. He put the chopsticks down and crossed his arms against the table. “Afraid I wouldn’t wail like Vivyn did?”

Hikray dropped his chopsticks, his face stunned. His eyes widened at Rin, his mind probably filled with death threats. He stood from his chair, slamming a fist on the table. “You do not speak a word –”

“I wouldn’t if you let me stay for the night.”

“Did the king kick you out? Now you’re looking for someone to let your steam out?”

“Should that be the case, I would’ve looked for Vivyn instead. I’m seeing you now because I’m interested – take the chance, my lord.”

Hikray was breathing heavily, his shoulders raised up and down. He was holding himself back from lashing his anger out, and he bit his lips to stop the words that were forcing their way out. 

“We’re only doing this to keep your mouth sealed,” he said before leaving the table.

...

I thought Rin would use his ways of seducing people to sleep with him, instead of coming at them by threatening them. It ruined Hikray’s day just by the thought of the night coming closer, and I couldn’t help but wonder if other lords and ladies felt the same too.

Rin was waiting by the bed, and we were on the other side of the wall. His hands were holding mine, seeking for comfort as he felt nervous. It was as if he was a slave to be served to his owner. I squeezed his hands in mine. “Are you sure you want to do this?” 

“I don’t want him to slip the words out. We shouldn’t have – I shouldn’t have –”

“No,” I cut him off. “It isn’t our fault – it’s the rules that make this world messed up.”

I doubted Rin would snitch us, but Hikray didn’t dare to take the risk. He took a risk once, by spending a night with me, and this was what it caused. He couldn’t stand making more mistakes.

Hikray laughed. It didn’t sound happy but rather nervous. “I really wish to live in your universe, rather than his fucked up place.”

“That word is starting to be your tongue.”

“It’s you who taught me.”

He placed a kiss on my forehead. That was another risk. 

The guard came towards me after Hikray entered the room. “It’s time we go,” the guard said. I didn’t understand what he meant, when I was the one to decide if I was to leave. He stepped out of the empire, and looked back at me as if signalling me to follow. I took the hint and grabbed my cloak before stepping into the snow.

The night was still young. Sounds of laughter from the other empires can be heard over the walls. It reminded me how we would always hang out at night with my group of friends in my universe. That was how we’d laugh too, but here I was. The guard turned a corner, and I had come to realise he was taking me to the king’s empire.

“Why are you taking me here?” I stopped my steps.

“It is the king’s order,” the guard said, his voice serious.

I hesitantly followed.

By the time we arrived, soldiers were standing by his empire. We entered the gateway, and found ourselves in the middle of an execution. The soldiers were lined on either side of the wretch that was kneeling in the middle, a soldier stood by his side with his sword by his neck. The king stood in front of it all, turning around when he heard footsteps. He smirked at my presence.

As I stumbled closer, I found the felon to be Rome. I gasped in horror, and before I could back away, a hand grabbed the back of my hair, pulling me closer to the execution scene. “Is he somehow familiar to you?”

“What is he doing here?”

The king chuckled, then he pushed me forward, closer than I had ever been with Rome. Now I stood by his eyes, my legs too numb to move. “He’s to be beheaded for your sins. What misfortunate you were partners in the barn – now he has to be the one to pay dearly for your offenses.”

Rome was shaking. The sword on his neck grazed his skin that it’d already left a cut. He didn’t dare raise his head up to look at me, the floor was all his eyes could bear. “This has nothing to do with him,” I hissed at the king.

“It isn’t,” the king taunted. “Who is to blame?”

“Me!” I yelled immediately. I’m sorry, Vivyn, I thought to myself. “Just take it out on me! This isn’t any of their business!” I’m sorry I’ve put your life to waste.

The king’s smile only grew wider, his eyes filled with satisfaction. “For someone begging to spare your life just a day ago, you’re really benevolent towards the other.” His eyes shifted towards the soldier. My sight still laid upon the king, and I could see the soldier lifting his sword from the corner of my eyes, the sword fixed to the angle of my neck. I left one last glare at the king, before shutting my eyes to meet the end. Shall we never meet again, and I’ll watch you rot in hell. “Too bad – ending your life now isn’t enough to cure your sins. This is what you brought upon your friends.”

My eyes widened questioning his statement, before the sword slashed down in a blink. Before I knew, Rome’s head was dropped onto the ground, rolling towards my legs. His eyes remained open, there was a hint of fear, and horror. His body fell forward, blood was dripping out. I put a hand over my mouth to stop the puke from spilling out.

“What enchanting sight.” A whisper came to my ear. I did not try to turn my head to face the king. I did not want to ever look at him. “You are dismissed,” he said to the soldiers. “Clean the mess, and send him back to his lord.”

The soldiers hailed as the king returned to his palace. The guard led me out of the empire, but when I did nothing to move, he placed his hand on my arm. Without a thought, I pushed his hand away from me, mad at the thought of him taking me here. I stormed out of the palace, fury blinded my eyes.

I want to go home.

Chapter Text

“Open up, will you?”

I tilted my head away when the spoon was forced into my mouth. It didn’t go through my lips, almost spilling the content when I turned my head. I shifted on the bed, covering my mouth with the blanket as I turned my body away from Seizhu. He tried to feed me the medicine – I was sick, but not that sick. Medicine wasn’t really necessary, and I never needed them. I hated taking medications, but he wasn’t up to that idea.

“Vivyn,” Seizhu said. It came as a warning, but not exactly serious. I shook my head, before I felt a hand on my chin, tilting my head to face him. His other hand held the spoon up, but unable to feed to my mouth when I had a blanket covered. “All you have to do is swallow it, it’s easier than swallowing pills.” 

“Easy for you to say. You’re not the one tasting that awful stuff,” I muffled into the blanket with a disgusted face. Seizhu only sighed. He moved himself closer to me, placing his lips against mine through the blanket. “You’re not tricking me,” I mouthed against the kiss. I felt his tongue invading my mouth, his saliva dirtying the blanket. I tasted the sheets more than his mouth.

“Hey – ew!” I broke away from the kiss, lifting the sheet away from my mouth to take a look at his filth, then he took the chance to slide the spoon into my mouth, filling the medicine in by holding it upwards for my lips to push the content in. I almost puked. It so caught me off guard, and he had to cover my mouth with his palm.

I struggled against his hold, tasting the disgusting liquid in my throat. “Swallow,” he reminded me, and I did. Tears formed as the bitter taste wouldn’t leave my mouth. My body laid forward to cough. “Ah – ah, see? You’re done. Easy, right?” Seizhu attempted to comfort me. His palm came to my front, pushing me backwards to lay my back against his chest. 

I cursed as his hands ran through my hair. It was an awful experience, but with him by my side, it was bittersweet. His touch was comforting, and his words were a lullaby. The smallest things from him were what fulfilled my life. 

I missed him.

A lot.

To be in his embrace again. To feel his touch again. To hear his voice again.

I want to go home.

When my eyes opened, I wasn’t in his hold, but a pair of strangers arms. It didn’t make me feel sad, or rather disappointed. It was somehow a reality I needed to accept, that I wasn’t with him anymore, and I might just never return to him again.

“You’re awake,” Hikray spoke with his tired voice. I could feel his chest vibrating as he spoke. I raised my head up to see him staring down at me from above. His arm laid on my waist, while his other tucked under my neck just below the pillow. “You – wanna talk about what happened last night?” he asked hesitantly.

“Weren’t you sleeping with Rin? Why am I here?”

I couldn’t recall what happened after I left the king’s castle. I must’ve blacked out, but I didn’t think I would end up in Hikray’s bed chamber. It was cold, I remember it was. There was still a faint smell of blood that I couldn’t get rid of. Had I not cleaned up last night?

Hikray’s hand moved to touch my back, rubbing circles with his thumb on a certain spot. Those affection he gave felt unbothered, like it was a casual routine for the both of us even if it wasn’t what we do often. “We didn’t sleep,” he said. “He tricked me, letting your guard take you to the king without me knowing. You came back as soon as I kicked him out – Actually, you don’t have to tell me. I’ve already guessed what’d happened. I’m taking the king down, you know? Just you wait.”

I could speak of nothing. Every time I opened my mouth, it felt like every word was pushing them closer under the king’s sword, waiting for him to swing to lash his anger out. I buried my head deeper into Hikray’s chest, seeking protection to hide me away from the king. We fell asleep after, the only way I hoped would I wake to be greeted by my own universe.

...

We rushed to the queen mother’s palace, almost late to the monthly greeting. It was a tradition, where every lord and lady, including the king, acquired to greet the queen mother every month in her palace as a blessing to be given. A day of the queen mother, you could call that. After greeting, we’d have to follow wherever she went – a walk, chess-playing, dinner. It was a day to fully accompany the queen mother. 

Now that it was Hikray’s first time being a lord, he was going to be late for his first greeting. And to be honest, if it hadn’t been for the guard to remind us, we’d have missed the whole event. 

The door was pushed open to enter the queen mother’s palace. Everyone was seated in their chairs, an empty one left for Hikray’s presence. All their eyes locked to us, the queen mother sat in the middle of all. Hikray quickly kneeled and apologised, while I followed behind. “Queen mother, I pray you forgive my foolishness, for I’ve been too busy that – this greeting slipped out of my mind!” he spoke breathlessly, after a long run to her palace.

“What of a lord,” one of the ladies spoke. “Dare show up late on their first meeting? Thinking they’d be forgiven just for being new? Queen mother, this shouldn’t be tolerated –”

“It isn’t a surprise, for he used to be an elite soldier. He must’ve not forgotten his duties, and made a mistake of working. Surely, he would take note of this for the next time,” another lady defended. 

“Who are you to justify this?” A lord spoke, perhaps defending the first lady. It quickly turned to an argument, before the queen mother cut everyone off. We were lucky she was on Hikray’s side, for he was someone who had caught her eyes.

“Take a seat, Hikray. Pray, you do not forget next time.”

If she hadn’t been in the mood, she would have had our head cut off.

Hikray thanked her, before moving to take the seat between a lord and a lady. Servants stood behind their graces, while the royalties chatted with the queen mother. The king sat with the row of ladies, closest to the queen mother. I noticed he hadn’t been commenting on any of their conversations, letting their words come about. Hikray actually gained some attention from the others for the way he talked cheerfully. He tended to be liked by others for his personality. The lady who had tried to confess his guilt began to grow fond of him.

My eyes wandered. I tried to ignore the king’s gaze every time my eyes landed on him. Even if I kept my eyes forward, I could feel his death glare on me. 

“Your majesty,” the queen called, catching her son’s attention. The lords and ladies began to quiet down, while the king answered to his mother. “You haven’t been speaking your thoughts. Is something troubling you? Do you have no comment on this?” It was rare that the king hadn’t tried to correct any of their statements when they discussed politics.

“Oh, no. I believe in your decisions. They’ll follow your orders.”

The queen mother smiled. “Great. Perhaps we should take a walk – The Shell Garden would be great.” She stood up, the others followed. The queen mother and the king made their leave out of the palace, and the lords and ladies trailed behind.

“Lord Hikray.”

Hikray jolted when a lady approached. It was Lady Loryn. She wore a beautiful scarf under the snow, just the suitable blue colour for her. They walked by each other’s side as they followed the king and queen. Hikray’s movements grew jolly as soon as she came. 

“Lady Loryn!” he said excitedly. “Your – your dress matches you today! I mean – it matches you everyday, well – you look better than ever today!”

The lady frowned, and mumbled a thanks before speaking with her servant. 

I knocked my arm against Hikray. “You should learn better how to charm the lady before speaking. That was really awkward.”

“Hey!” I couldn’t help but notice his flushed ears. “I’m trying my best here! It’s not like I court the ladies everyday!” He tried to keep his voice low, whisper-yelling to me to hide from the lady. 

“I could help you out here,” I said teasingly. “Lady –” Before I could call her out, Hikray quickly wrapped his arm around my neck, shifting his body to my back with a palm covering my mouth. My voice muffled into his hand, and I stopped when I noticed everyone staring at us.

“Lord Hikray?” A lord from behind called, before Hikray quickly put a distance between us and apologised for his clumsiness. That just embarrassed Hikray, not to everyone but to the king and queen too.

He groaned to himself, unable to look at the others. “My lord –” I attempted to comfort him, but he cut me off before I could start. “You – should get another servant to serve me because I can’t stay serious with you.”

I soon came to realise he was being serious. I took my leave just when they reached the garden, returning to the palace to get another servant. I felt a little disappointed, to upset Hikray on his first greeting. 

The servant was surprised when I asked them to serve Hikray in the garden. They hadn’t been thoroughly experienced serving a lord while all the royalties were present. She begged me not to send her to him, but I had no other choice. She was the best servant I could find. I told her it was his order, yet she wouldn’t obey. It was to the point she kneeled to me without a word. 

How hard is it to just serve your lord?

“Hey – Verx, stand up! All you have to do –”

A cough sounded from behind. I turned around to see the king, all mighty and magnificent. I quickly kneeled, “my king” both of us servants greeted at the same time. 

“Serve me for today, Vivyn Blink.”

Chapter Text

I flinched, unable to comprehend what the king had just said. 

The servant beside me whimpered out of fear. She was oddly scared, like she was the one in trouble when I had a bigger problem to deal with. I remained silent, and I could hear the king scoff from above.

“Have you gone deaf? Must I repeat what I said?”

“My king,” I blurted. “I still serve Lord Hikray.”

I received no reply, as if I was left unheard. Before I could raise my head up, two guards dragged me by the arm and exited the palace. I screamed at them, trying to pry off their grips but they wouldn’t budge. They were following the king while he never bothered us. I tried to stop them by planting my feet on the floor, rubbing friction with the snow to stop them from dragging me forward. It was then one of the guards came to lift my legs while the other lifted my arms. “Hey – what the fuck!”

We crossed a bridge, and they dropped me harshly on the ground when we reached under the pavilion of the garden. The king sat on the chair in front of me, crossing his legs like the arrogant king he was. I shifted from the impact, pushing myself up to kneel by him. 

“What –”

“Pour me a cup of tea, will you?”

His finger pointed at the table beside. There was a pot and polished cups, with a few plates of rice cakes. The guards had taken their leave, putting me and the king alone. I could see the queen mother and the others from afar, walking around the garden while the queen admired the flowers. I wanted to question the king – a whole bunch of questions, but instead, I slowly pushed myself up to the table, taking the pot in my hands and poured the tea to the cup hesitantly.

I backed away when I was done, the king eyed me with a frown. “Hand it to me?” He said, like it was an obvious thing to do.

I was confused – how the king wanted me to serve him out of the blue. It was probably one of his ways to torture me, since he knew I’d hate to serve him. I took the cup from the table, then handed it to him unwillingly. He smirked, before tilting his head up with his mouth slightly opened, signalling me to feed him.

“Fuck no –”

A sound came from behind. Oh, a guard was still guarding in the pavilion, watching the whole thing unfold. He had knocked his hand against his sword, daring me to disobey the king. The king furrowed his eyebrows, his face was smug. I cursed at the both of them silently, then made my way towards the king to pour the tea into his mouth. Perhaps I should burn him – the hot tea was just in my hands. I promptly decided against that idea.

Before I could pour the tea, a hand was on my wrist and pulled me forward. I yelped as my leg stuck between the king's legs, spilling the tea on my hands to the king’s chest. It did not burn him, but it burned my hands! The cup dropped on the ground, not breaking when it landed on the carpet. “Fuck!” I cursed loudly at the sting on my hands. Before I knew it, the king had made me sit on his lap, one of my legs on the floor while the other lay on his thigh. He pushed himself forward, a hand pressed on the back of my head. I pushed my body backwards, having the palm to hold me up, so I could keep a distance between the king.

“What do you want?”I growled to the king, a hint of shock in my tone. He chuckled at that, his hand fisted my hair to tilt my head. 

“A servant obeys what the king wants. You don’t disobey it, and you don’t question it.”

I scoffed at that. My eyes wandered around to see the queen approaching the pavilion with the others – not close yet not far either. The king’s other hand came to grab my jaw, my hands immediately caught his wrist. I wasn’t certain what he was going to do, but I dared try to pull his hand away. 

“I’ve been wanting to try something,” he said. A thumb pushed his way through my lips. It laid on my tongue, and I urged myself not to bite it off. If I was to injure the king, my head was to fall. I choked when he moved his finger, pressing his nail on the tip of my tongue before swiping roughly to the side, leaving a cut on my tongue. 

I grunted, feeling my tongue burn. His mouth came to my ear, “Keep your mouth shut, do you hear me?” I didn’t quite catch what he meant for me to do, but I nodded nevertheless. His hand left my jaw, and he pushed me to the ground. My body rolled away from him, and I coughed into my palm after the whole incident.

That was when the queen mother and the others entered the pavilion, the king already standing to greet her. “What is this?” she questioned her son. The king brushed the dust off his clothes like I dirtied him with my filth. 

“Oh, nothing,” he said. “I had him serve me a cup of tea but he tripped on me. I pushed him off, that was all. Should we resume your walk, queen mother?”

“Oh, dear. Did you have him punished?” There was a cruelness in the queen’s voice, different to the way she talked to the others. Of course, why would she bother an outsider?

“Isn’t he Lord Hikray’s servant?” one of the ladies spoke. Everyone turned to look at Hikray, but he only stared at me in concern, not answering them as if he wasn’t paying attention. Verx was by his side, which I felt relieved to see she finally obeyed. 

Hikray cast a glance at the king, as if he could guess what had happened. “I –” 

“Don’t bother,” the king cut him off. “He’s dealt with. I’ll have him see me tonight. It’s really cold out here. Shouldn’t you stay inside, queen mother?”

They exchanged a few words, before the king started to lead the queen out of the garden. Everyone casted a few glances at me before leaving, Hikray quickly kneeled to check up on me. “Are you okay?” He checked my swollen hand. The guard knocked his arm against the sword again, as a warning for Hikray to leave. 

“I’ll check you up later, okay?” Hikray glared at the soldier, before quickly catching up with the crowd, Verx trailing behind. 

...

Hikray and I went to see the king when the feast was over. We were still in the feasting hall. The king had ordered us to stay while everyone else left. Now we were kneeled by the king as he sat on the throne. His hand held a cup of wine, twirling it as he spoke. “Why were you late for today’s greeting, my lord?” 

Hikray gulped. His mind tried to search for lies yet he couldn’t come up with any. He knew the king must’ve seen through his lies the morning he told. “We – overslept, my king. I’m sorry, but it won’t happen again.”

The king hummed, his face remained expressionless. “You know I could have you beheaded right now? Making a mistake over such a small ceremony. You disrespected the queen mother – what were you doing? Were you both rutting like swines in your bed chamber? Too high on pleasure that you forgot your duties?”

“No! My king. I – I’ll repay her kindness. It won’t go to a waste.”

“And what are you to give to repay her?” the king asked doubtfully.

“Whatever she wants, my king. I’ve heard she’d been searching for a type of herbal leaves that no villager could find. I should help –”

“Is that what you think she wants? Herbal leaves? Just for a cup of savory tea?”

Hikray was lost for words. “I –”

“Should I put you back to being an elite soldier? A lord title doesn’t suit you well.”

Actually, Hikray wouldn’t mind that. But he’d lose contact with the other lords and ladies he was fond of. He’d lose all his closest companions. Hikray’s eyes glanced at me, before hesitating to answer. “I’ll ask the queen myself, my king. And I swear I’ll fulfill her wish.”

The king chuckled at that. He leaned back to his throne, taking a sip of his wine, as he contemplated whether he should grant it.

“Fine then. I’ll make a request for that too.”

Hikray sighed in relief, making sure the king wouldn’t hear. He lowered his head down, “Anything you want, my king.” Honestly, the king was making a big deal out of this. All Hikray did was being late to a greeting, and he made it like he’d committed a crime.

“I’ll take Vivyn as my servant. Grant me that to the queen mother, will you?”

Chapter Text

A pot was thrown to the wall, breaking apart as it fell to the floor. Hikray was cursing, throwing everything to the walls and destroying every furniture he had as if he was tearing his palace apart. 

He was mad, furious at the king. Even the other servants gathered to calm the lord down but he wouldn’t stop. He slammed the table to the floor, books and quills fell along. The ink splashed at the servants. They hurried to pick the stuff up, pulling at the lord but to be pushed away.

“Hikray.” I yelled at him, coming to block his path just as he was about to rip the curtains.

 Me. He was afraid of losing me.

Hikray didn’t want to hand me to the king, yet he asked for the queen mother to grant the king’s wish. On second thought, he’d rather the king make him back to an elite soldier instead, but I would still be taken to be his servant. Nothing he did could stop me from being taken away, and he felt enraged at the thought. Worse, I couldn’t think of a way to assure him, because I knew I wasn’t going to be all right to be by the king’s side.

We would see each other less. I wouldn’t be by Hikray’s side – the only person to make me feel safe. Hikray would feel lonely without a friend. He couldn’t live to protect me when he swore to.

I sucked in a breath, staring into his raging eyes. “I’ll wait for you.” 

That was all I could force out.

He was confused at first, but then he started breaking down. He dropped his hand from the curtain, and fell forward to lay his head on my shoulder. He sobbed into it. I tried to hold his weight up, and signalled for the others to leave us alone. They exchanged glances before closing the door.

I raised my hands to pat his back, returning the hug when he wrapped his arms around me.

He was the reason I could live in this universe. He was the reason Vivyn was safe.

“I FUCKING HATE HIM,” he screamed into my shoulder, sobbing loudly as he let it all out. I took his head from my shoulder in my hands, moving to press our foreheads together in order to comfort him. He was breathing heavily. Tears were dripping down his cheeks, and his eyes were puffy.

“I’ll wait for you, and I’ll make sure you take his throne. So get a hold of yourself.”

“I don’t want you to go,” he murmured between his sobs. 

My thumbs came to wipe his tears away, and his lips pushed forward to press onto mine. A moan forced out of my throat, and he moved his head away, a blush formed through his cheeks. I couldn’t tell what I was expressing, but it made him smile.

“Do you want to rut like swines for the last time before you go?”

...

Rin stood in the room I was assigned to stay in, at the back of the king’s palace. I packed my belongings out to tidy the place. It was more luxurious than the room I stayed in Hikray’s palace. The furniture was more ornate, carved with golden vines and ancient symbols. The equipment was more sturdy, and the whole room was opulent, gleaming with gold and candlelight. 

If I hadn’t seen the king’s rooms, I would have thought myself the king. I went from a barn cleaner to the king’s servant in less than 2 months. How would Vivyn react if he was to take his body back now?

Rin watched as I admired my chamber. I had ignored him since I entered the room, even though he spoke nothing as I packed. My hand grazed the desk beside my bed, picking the pen ink and inspecting it.

Rin chuckled from behind. “You like it? I asked the king to offer you this room.”

I clicked my tongue at that. It pissed me off even more to think that it wasn’t something I gained, but something Rin requested. Now I loathe having this room. I dropped the ink at once, and sighed in annoyance. “I didn’t need your request.”

“You seem to like it.”

“I’d better off sharing the same room with the other servants.”

“Oh. That wouldn’t feel nice if you were to sleep with the king. It is romantic here. You see all these candles?” Rin went to touch one of the candlelights by the door. “You’ll enjoy it better.”

I snapped my head at him. “Get out,” I commanded.

“Do you want to test it out now? I’ll prove it to you.” 

He began making his way towards me, eying at the bed chamber. I was about to yell, before a servant showed up by the door with a knock. “Your majesty,” he said as he kneeled. “The king has asked to see you.”

Rin stopped his movement. He left me a wink before taking his leave with the servant. I sighed in relief to be alone again. However, my guard still stayed by my side. Even though I was now the king’s servant, he still hadn’t sent the guard away. I kind of figured it was going to be us, together for a decade. 

“What’s your name?” I asked him as I sat by my bed. He guarded the door, flinching when he noticed me speaking to him. 

“Kei,” he said softly. “Megurine Kei.”

“Thank you for serving me. It’s been a while.”

He jolted at my thanks, a hint of offence. “I do not serve you, I serve the king.”

“Many call you my servant now.”

“You should see the king.”

“What?”

Kei changed the topic so suddenly that I couldn’t catch up. It seemed he wasn’t willing to continue our conversation. “You should serve the king now. You’re his personal servant – stay by his side every second.”

I’d rather stay by Hikray’s side every second. What was I to do? If Hikray was to take the throne, he’d have to defeat the king over a swordsfight. That was up to Hikray, I had no control over his fighting skills. I’d have to prevent the king from training then, perhaps serve him poison before their duel to weaken him.

“I – don’t really want to serve the king.”

Kei was startled, then he spoke of no words to reply. His eyes went back to stare ahead, full concentration in guarding the gate. He was a confusing person. I understood that when the king showed up. He must’ve been eavesdropping outside, that was why Kei showed such loyalty to the king.

I quickly kneeled, silently cursing myself for being heard. It was a hopeless situation. The king knew my thoughts, and I gave up the attempt to defend myself.

“What surprise, you’d speak such honesty to a guard of mine.”

“We are closer than you think.”

When the king glanced at the guard, Kei quickly shook his head to justify himself.

The king stepped forward, pulling me up by the back of my collar and dragged me to bed. I was thrown onto the mattress. My arms lifted to brace my face from the king’s as soon as he laid himself on top of me. My legs were trapped within his hold, pressing against his lap as he pushed himself close to me.

The king smirked at my attempt to hide, but it wasn’t any satisfaction. “You know what wonders I could do to you to make sure you know your place, don’t you? Just a few seconds and I’ll assure you will fear my words.”

“Why haven’t – you done so?” I stuttered. Every word spit out of me was a risk. One wrong move and I might just lose everything, yet something in me just urged me to take every route. Yes, I was afraid, but I was willing to gamble my choice.

“I want you to kneel to me by heart, not by bondage.”

He pulled me down by my leg, moving his face closer to mine. My arms went to cover my face, and he did nothing to pull them apart. “You’ve done enough to make it so I could never swear my fealty to you.” I had an idea, to manipulate the king into yielding his desire to me, then I’ll shatter him when Hikray was ready to fight. “You might as well give up now.”

He smirked, as if proud of my words. “I’m up for a challenge. It’s been long since I felt such desire,” he confessed. I could kind of see through his desire, to be treated like a normal person, and not to be seen as a royalty every time. He gets whatever he wants, and he lives a life without a purpose. He yearned for entertainment. “I’ll make you mine.”

Chapter Text

Actually, he didn’t really have much time to spend to flatter me.

He had tons of meetings, with the soldiers, with the royalties, and even with the villagers from the outer-countries. All they did was discuss politics, wars, economies and laws. It was boring – much more boring than Hikray’s life. I didn’t think a king like him would work this much, perhaps throwing all these duties to the lords and ladies to handle but no, he did them all by himself.

He’d only sigh in relief when it was lunch time, when Rin would pay visits to enjoy feasting with the king. I hesitated whether I should pick the dishes for him when I served the king, but I still did so as he’s his lover.

He smiled when I picked a dish for him, placing them on his plate, though I only frowned in return. He resumed eating while the king was too tired to make comments. “Since when was he your servant? What about the last one you had?”

“I sent him to war. The enemies’ fighting style is weak to his tactics.”

“Oh. So you do observe your soldiers! I thought everyone was the same.”

The king scoffed at that. He eyed me with his chopsticks on his plate, questioning why there was no dish served, before I quickly went back to picking after being distracted from their conversation.

“What would you do then, when he returns? Would he be your servant again?”

The king stopped mid-way putting the food into his mouth. He was hesitating. It seemed he hadn’t thought about that. “I’ll make him an elite soldier.”

“You must like this one then – Do you –”

He was cut off by the king clicking his tongue, glaring at him with his teeth biting the chopsticks. “You’re rather talkative today, Rin.”

“I was always talkative.”

“What? Trying to talk me into sleeping with you? If you want it, just say so.”

Rin grinned at that, as if he felt heard. “You always know the best thing to say.”

At once, the king dropped the chopsticks in his hand, slamming his firsts against the table as he stood before dragging Rin to leave the dining room. I fought not to throw up, just listening to their conversation disgusted me. “Vivyn,” the king called. Rin had eventually escaped from his hold and made his way towards the room himself. “Go get me new sheets in the grand household. I need thick ones.”

A sound of door slamming close rang through the hall. Well, now all his evening was left for Rin. I tried to ignore the faint voices coming from the room as I cleaned the table.

They disgust me.

They fucking disgust me.

...

Everyone doubted me when I said I came in the name of the king. Just helping me get a new sheet would bother me with a bunch of questions. They couldn’t trust me in serving the king, handing the sheets to me unwillingly like they were judging my filth. “Do not dirty them,” a guard warned as I left the household. 

Servants were cleaning through the palace, while guards were roaming around. I decided I should start talking with them to make some friends. Hailey, she came up in my mind. I took my chance to search around the garden as I passed by. She was nowhere to be found. Usually I could see her sweeping the pavilion. It was then I knocked onto a lady, causing both of us to fall, and the sheets in my hands touched the ground.

“Sorry, my lady! I wasn’t paying –”

“Who are you to bump into my lady? Do you know you can be beheaded for that?” the servant yelled at me as she helped her lady up. I kneeled to her when she brushed the dust off her dress, a look of disgust in her face.

“I sincerely apologise, my lady.” I already knew she wasn’t going to be kind by the look of her face.

“Shall you kneel here till the day falls! What are you to do with those sheets? Aren’t they from the grand household? Have you been stealing?”

“No,” I blurted. I was surprised she would come to that conclusion. “I was serving the king. He asked me to get him new sheets.”

“The king?” she chuckled at that. “Aren’t you Lord Hikray’s servant? Don’t embarrass your lord like that. You are what the king hates, and you speak of yourself as his servant? Don’t make me laugh.” The servant beside her hid a giggle along with her lady. Was it that hard to believe I served the king? Oh well, they must’ve remembered the time the king and I were in the pavilion.

“I –”

“I’ll inform your lord I have you kneeling here till dawn. He should know what of a sin you are.” She turned her heels and left with her servant, not batting another eye when I assured her I was the king’s servant.

Their tortures would be the death of me. How many times must I endure them? Even with my status raised, nobody would see me any different. Now I kneeled  by the garden, servants and guards would pass by, and I would turn into a clown in their tongues. 

The snow wasn’t as cold as before, now that I wore warm clothes. It felt better to not have two soldiers watching me. But, the god took their chances to pour rain right then, leaving me soaked up under the dark clouds. I groaned.

Why does everything keep torturing me in this universe?

I felt the rain slam against my head, before a shadow covered over mine on the ground, and the rain was shut out. I looked up to see Lady Loryn with an umbrella in her hand, lifting it over my head.

“Lady Loryn,” I mumbled.

“You poor soul,” she said. “Lady Nerya came to meet Lord Hikray when I was playing chess with him. She informed us about you, so Lord Hikray sent me to come see you when they talked business.”

“Lady Nerya,” I said her name, a sign for me to memorize her.

“Who are the sheets for? Shall I help you deliver them? I’ll leave you this umbrella –”

“My lady,” her servant said. “We do not interrupt a punishment. This is a rule.”

“Then an umbrella will do.” Lady Loryn handed it to Kei, it was only when I realized he was still by my side under the pouring weather. “This is for the king’s best. He wouldn’t want his servant sick.”

Lady Loryn was nice, the nicest lady in this palace. To me, she was, or maybe she was just putting up an act to not disappoint Hikray. She wasn’t helping me, she was doing as Hikray asked. Her servant had never put up with her liking to me, so I assumed she felt her lady was forced to take care of me for Hikray’s needs. 

No matter where I was, Hikray was able to somehow provide me protection. For a moment,  I wished to see Hikray then to be under his arms.

“Lord Hikray has his eyes on you,” I said when she was about to leave. Her face flushed but she tried not to show with her expression. “What?”

“I just – think you’d make a great pair.”

Her servant quickly rushed to my side, slapping her palm against my face. I flinched, eyes widening at her sudden anger. She was staring at me with hatred, like I said something I wasn’t supposed to.

“Who are you to speak about the lord and lady like that?” she scolded me.

“Peryl,” Lady Loryn warned.

She growled at me before jogging away with her lady. Peryl was her name. She was someone mysterious, the way she acted. I began to wonder if I should investigate her.

Chapter Text

“Where were you?”

It was still pouring outside, but the sun had fallen. I walked soaked in his palace, wetting the marble floors. He sat by his throne, writing something in his papers. The candle by the table almost finished burning. 

“I bumped into a lady on the way. I made her fall so she made me kneel till the sun sets. I gave the sheets to a servant to clean, it should be done by tomorrow.”

The king hummed at my response, the corner of his eyes still stared at his writing. He wasn’t paying attention, and he certainly did not care, so I took my leave to clean up my mess. The cold air was freezing me, now that I was wet. 

“I should go wash up.” I simply bowed to the king before turning away.

“With me.” The king’s voice echoed through the hall. I heard it clear as day, but I could not protest the words. I heard the sound of the ink pen being tossed on the table, slowly turning my head to see the king had stood from his throne. “Just about time for me to bathe. Join me in the tub, will you?” He made his way out of his desk.

I was about to open my mouth to speak for myself, but the guards had instinctively shown up behind my back, grabbing my arms and leading me to the washroom before the king could even shout an order. 

They shoved me into the washroom chamber, leaving before I could leave them a glare. I had never seen the king’s shower place. The whole chamber was unnecessarily large, gleaming with polished stones, and a wooden tub placed in the middle. A few paravents stood by the corners of the room, unsure what they were for use.

Two servants bowed at us with hand towels in their hands. They were old, faces filled with crinkles. To live up to such an age and still serve the king, their duties were specifically to wash up the king, so no affection would spark between. 

The tub was filled with warm water, big enough to fit two people in. Usually the king would have it all by himself – his legs would spread free while the servants washed him up. For us servants, we’d only have a pot and a ladle, cleaning ourselves by splashing water over our bodies. I’d never experienced having servants to clean me up, a weird feeling twisted in my stomach just by the thought of their hands grazing my body.

One of them busied herself setting up the cleansing instruments, while another came to strip the king out of his tunics. He stared at me when I did nothing to prepare myself, before I quickly stripped myself, denying the servant’s help.

I had never taken my time inspecting the king’s naked body. Now that I could see him full, it was when I realised he was muscular, like a statuesque carved by the gods. My thoughts were pushed away when the king dragged me towards the tub, shoving me in before stepping in himself. 

The water reached my shoulders, and I cautiously hugged my knees to my chest, avoiding our skins to be in touch. The king had his arms sprawled against the edge of the tub – I could feel his legs spread out, pressing them on either side of me. The servant gently poured a ladle of warm water on his hair, scrubbing his scalps with her hand. I felt tense when I was served the same, unknown to the touch of a woman.

His eyes were all over me, and I was grateful for the bubbles to cover up the surface of the water. He must’ve noticed I’d been keeping our distance, for he chuckled at how I practically squeezed myself to avoid every graze of his skin possible. His arms left the edge of the tub, moving to grab my legs and pulling them without a warning. I yelped as he placed them on his shoulders, gripping them with his hands. My hands pushed my body backward to not be pulled any closer to him, yet it somehow only satisfied him more.

“What’s the matter? Are you shy?”

“Focus on washing up, will you?” I hissed at him, unable to comprehend the situation.

His grip tightened, and I clenched my fingers against the floor of the tub. “Make me. Come on. I won’t stop till you do.”

Did he have no shame? The servants were watching too! I could’ve presented better if we had privacy, but I couldn’t stand being under their eyes!

 He pulled me closer. I gritted my teeth, glaring at him in hope to make him stop his act. My eyes moved to catch a glimpse of the servants’ reactions, to see they just stood their positions with their eyes closed. This was yet another way of torturing them, making them watch such a sickening sight.

As if getting a hint of my trouble, he asked for the servants to leave the room at once. My eyes widened, surprised at his acknowledgement and quickly pushed myself up to trail along with them. He was quick to cage me against the wall of the tub, my body was pulled to bend slightly, the water almost reaching to my mouth. The king kept the smug face of his, before leaning in.

Leaning in? The king was to kiss me?

But he did not press his lips down, just leaning closer and stared at my eyes, searching for permission. I tilted my head away, holding a glare at him. “No.”

His eyes bore into mine. His smug face faded to press his lips into a thin line, feeling rejected. I couldn’t tell what he was expressing from those eyes – hatred, shock, or desire. He narrowed his eyes, studying me like he was searching for ways to make me give in. His hands moved to my waist, lifting me up and turned my body as he laid back to his place, placing me to lay my back against his chest, and now we laid together in the tub, his hands wrapped around my waist.

“Fuck,” I forced out silently, when I felt his lips peck against my neck. He called the servants in again, and they returned to resume cleaning where they left. The servant serving me had a hard time, for I had to tilt my head for her to wash when the king was just behind me. “You are one hard to deal with,” I mumbled to him.

His arms came to wrap around my shoulders, snuggling his face close to my head. His lips brushed my ear, holding the urge to bite it.

“Who knows – you might just fall for my hubris.”

...

“The enemy has invaded our territory. Runger is dead. Many of our soldiers are injured, and we lack a leader. My king, you must send an elite soldier before they reach the palace.” 

The king gritted his teeth, scowling at the group of soldiers kneeling by his throne. Runger, whom he sent to war to lead the army despite being his personal servant, was now dead. Warriors had retreated back to the palace for treatment. The enemy would attack any second, and our country wasn’t in a bright situation. The soldiers were afraid of informing this to the king, for they all kept their heads low to avoid looking at him.

“I have informed Runger that they are smart in sword fighting, but weak in crowd controlling. How could he fail in strategizing the war?”

“My – my king. Runger had neglected in guarding the backside, and the enemies took advantage in sabotaging from the back. He sacrificed himself attacking the backside alone. He took down many of their soldiers, but – was killed by an arrow from exhaustion.”

The king slammed his fist on the table, and the soldiers lowered their heads further.

“What disgrace from all of you! From an army that is weak in strategizing, you lost to them? You let your guard down, and chose not to fight with your mind? Which lord or supervisor have trained you all to this?”

None of them dared to answer the king’s question, though he did not bother receiving any. The king stared at the chandelier hung at the ceiling in anger, his mind running through solutions to defend the country. He’d send himself to the war if he could, but someone needed to look after the state of affairs. He couldn’t leave his kingdom, not without a leader.

He sighed when he reached a conclusion, dropping onto his throne with a hand holding his face. “Send Lord Hikray. Tell him to meet me by dawn. I’ll have him leave at once by sunrise.”

My eyes widened, to think that I might just lose Hikray to war. The soldiers hailed, and they all quickly took their leave. I clenched my fists on my side, pondering whether I should stop the king from sending Hikray. But the army needed Hikray to lead. He was to protect the kingdom, it was his duty for he was once an elite soldier.

The king lifted his face from his hands, his eyes studied me. “What? Afraid your mate will die on the battlefield?”

Of course I would be. He was my friend, my saviour.

The king smirked at my agitation.

“He won’t die. Victory was always his to claim.”

Chapter Text

“I just began courting Lady Loryn, and now he’s sending me to war. He wants me dead, Vivyn. I swear it! Do you know the way he looks at me just now? I can see he’s planning my funeral beforehand! He’s going to make me fight their strongest soldier, then I –”

“Hikray,” I interrupted him. He had been unable to stop criticizing the king since they finished their meeting. We were in my room now, giving my prayers to him. “If he was to send you to a death mission, it wouldn’t do any good to his kingdom either. You are his most trusted soldier. He even sent his personal servant before you to keep you safe. Now that he has no ally, you are his only option left. He doesn’t want you dead, you are the only one that can bring him victory.”

Hikray scoffed at that. “Did he possess you to say that?”

I shook my head. His eyes shifted to my lips. He took a step closer to place a peck, before I moved away out of surprise. “You’re courting Lady Loryn.”

“A king can have many courtiers.”

“Are you?”

He shrugged. “I might be one day.”

“Then don’t die,” I said, returning the conversation back on track. “Don’t let this war take you down before you could take his throne.”

Hikray surpassed a hiss. “How has he been treating you?”

“I’d rather work in the barn.”

He laughed. I flinched when I noticed his body was still close to mine. “That bad, huh? It seemed everyone would find ways to trouble, like kneeling till sunrise. I sometimes think it’s my fault for putting you in that position. I made you attract those unwanted –”

“No,” I said harshly, almost sounding like a yell. There was not a single blame for him to take in this. “I brought them upon myself. You’re the one who brought me to walk this far. I wouldn’t have ended up here if it wasn’t for you. I would’ve been beheaded sooner than you’d think. None of this is your fault – I should be thanking you instead, for saving me.”

Hikray was silent for a moment, then a smile was brought upon his lips. “Do I get a kiss for that?”

...

I watched as Hailey swept the floor near the bridge, her arms filled with fresh scars. It wasn’t that she’d always make mistakes, but the supervisor never bore her fondness. He’d always find fault in her doings, then take them as an excuse to punish her.

My mouth itched to open up to make a request to the king as he sat under the pavilion drinking his tea. He was just done meeting with a lady, craving for a jasmine tea after. I stood by his side, silently watching him sip the tea. Something was going through his mind since he hadn’t been talking, that was why he took his time enjoying the silence as he watched the snowflakes fall.

Hailey worked under the snow. Her clothes obviously weren't thick enough to keep her warm. She swept by the lake, before clumsily missing her step on the stones and fell into it. I was about to go help her out, before a cough caught my attention, and I realised I shouldn’t be doing so.

The king stared at me with an expression I couldn’t tell. He always looked at me with those eyes, where I couldn’t read through them. He uncrossed his legs, placing them firmly on the floor and offered me to sit on.

“That isn’t appropriate,” I said, using that as an excuse to not approach him.

“Everything the king does is appropriate.”

Without a word, I shook my head in return. The guard knocked his hand against his sword. They’d always do that as a mark of warning, and the king grinned to his loyal soldier. 

“A servant fell into the lake. May I offer them a hand?”

“They’d be beheaded for interrupting the king’s business.”

I sighed, loudly on purpose for him to hear. I walked over and dropped myself onto his lap, sitting sideways unwilling to touch another part of his body. His hand came to hold mine, playing with my fingers while another held his cup of tea.

“You’re cold.”

“It is Winter.”

His hand came to touch my neck with the back of his hand, feeling the temperature. He was still for a moment, before placing his tea on the handstand. His hands left to unwrap his scarf. I was startled when I realised what he was going to do. “My king –” But before I could finish, the scarf was already placed around my neck, wrapping its way around yet loose enough to not strangle me. 

I felt warmer in an instant, though I was unable to thank his giving – perhaps it was one of his tricks to manipulate me. When he was done, his hand came to touch mine again, intertwining our fingers together.

“My hands will keep you warm.”

If it wasn’t that smug face of his, I would’ve felt some kind of affection towards him. But now, all I could think was he was just attempting to annoy me.

“You –”

“My king.”

A lady walked in the pavilion. Though we were already exposed, I still made an act of pushing away from his legs, positioning myself like how a servant would. It wasn’t left unseen, for her eyes stared at me with suspicion after bowing to the king. I kept myself kneeled down, feeling her stare locked on me.

“Lady Prestel,” the king said. “What brings you here?”

“The queen mother asked me to accompany you. She said you’d be in the garden at this hour.” The lady took a seat on the chair next to the king, the handstand in between.

“What for?”

She sighed before arranging her words. “You need a queen, my king. The queen mother had said a kingdom without a queen is a throne without grace. We need someone to preside over the realm. Your crown weighs twice as heavy without a queen to help you keep the realm in hand. Enemies will take advantage of this, and they will announce war to our country to make your system out of control. One you break down, they’ll force you to yield your –”

“Oddly specific that is. Has that been a plan in your mind?”

“I’m speaking exactly what the queen mother wished to deliver. My king, you must –”

“I will not lose my throne. I carry the crown to my grave. Tell her I have this controlled – Besides, I’ve offered Rin to take the name. She was the one who refused it.”

“A queen should be a female. There are tons of ladies in this palace for you to choose. You can still have the courtier even if you’re engaged –”

“I strongly preserve the name of the queen to be my mate, not someone I simply chose to take the pride. So don’t expect me to take you as my queen, because I will not.”

The lady’s eyes widened as if the king had seen through her. She stuttered, unable to form a word. The king stood from his chair, turning around to leave the pavilion. He didn’t even spare a glance at her before he left, but left a statement that she longed to avoid. “I wouldn’t have turned you into a lady if it wasn’t for the queen mother. She chose you, and I respected her choice. Don’t make me regret her decision.”

Lady Prestel was stunned, even her servant tried to comfort her but she blacked out. She yearned for the king, dreaming of being his queen, but he never gave in to her. Or, she only craved pride. Being a queen means being the commander of a kingdom. She wanted that status, and to be respected by others.

I followed the king as he left, the guard kneeling at his leave. I noticed Hailey wasn’t on the lake anymore, probably went off to change her soaked clothes. I wanted to make a request to the king right then, but was taken back for it wasn’t the right time.

I felt a pang of jealousy when he said he wished to take Rin as his queen. He was my Seizhu after all. Seeing him court another person hurts, even if it wasn’t in my universe. I sometimes wondered if I hadn’t killed Rin, would Seizhu have chosen him over me? Perhaps I wasn’t his first choice from the start, he chose me only because he lost Rin.

It hurts just thinking that we weren’t meant to be. I wasn’t any better, for I slept with Hikray in this universe. Does it count as cheating? But we didn’t feel any affection towards each other, just friends with benefits. It didn’t happen in my universe, I was only helping Vivyn grow a new relationship here. My body reacted to Hikray’s affection, but my heart yearned for Seizhu.

What if this was what Seizhu was experiencing? His body reacts to me, but his heart yearns for Rin who is gone. 

I stopped my steps, unable to continue taking another step – continue living.

I suddenly thought that I didn’t have a home. I was only an intruder for someone I stole.

I don’t have a home.

I want a home.

Where can I go?

Chapter Text

The sky was getting dark, and I just stood under the snow contemplating my existence.

I don’t have a way home.

I’m just an intruder.

I ruined what it was supposed to be.

I am a murderer.

I am only a replacement for Rin.

“Hey,” the king called when he noticed me stopping my track. I couldn’t hear – I didn’t want to hear. I meant nothing to him – I meant nothing to everyone. I only killed him because I wanted to be seen, but only to become a replacement for him instead. I tried to be better than him, I tried to be better for everyone, yet all they saw wasn’t Vivyn but the second Rin. “Vivyn.”

I felt a pair of hands pressed on my face, and I shoved them away. It startled the king, but he showed no anger to my defiance. I wanted to scream at him, even if I had no place in doing so. If anyone, he should be the one screaming at me. His scarf suddenly felt disgusting to wear, his touch felt a blight upon my skin.

He shouldn’t touch me – I didn’t deserve him.

I bit my lips from lashing out. His hand came to hold my jaw, tilting my head up to look at him. “What? Mad that I wanted to take Rin as my queen but not you? Don’t be mean. Come on – save your jealousy for later. We need to go back.”

He moved himself to walk to the direction of his palace, but I showed no response to follow. The king was growing irritated, he couldn’t just let a servant disobey his command like that. I might be able to resist some of his commands, but this time I was too arrogant for his liking. 

Come on then, behead me.

You should’ve done so a long time ago.

“Vivyn,” he growled, it was a lethal warning. I was doing too much, he knew that. He needed to put me to my place.

When I still showed no response, he jogged over to me, and held a tight grip on my arm to drag me back to his palace. From his anger, it was obvious he was ready to announce a death sentence. It was what I wanted, but I still resisted his tight grip as it felt painful to bear the whole walk.

My steps left an abnormal trail on the snow. I tripped when he walked over the gates of his palace, but his hand held me firm. “Guards,” he yelled. I expected them to get ready for a ritual, but they only moved to close the gates and did nothing else. 

We walked into his castle, through his throne room, through the hall, into his bed chamber. He slammed the door shut, before shoving me against it. I felt more relieved to have his grip off of me, unbothered with the pain when my back knocked against the wood. “Come on,” he said. “Show me how devastated you feel to not be able to be my mate. Who do you think you are? You think so highly of yourself? Wasn’t this supposed to be a challenge to make you fall for me? Has it always been this easy to achieve?” He laughed menacingly, like it was meant to make me feel defeated. “Show me, Vivyn. You want to be my mate? Then show me just how hard you’ve fallen for me.”

I didn’t want to give in. I was just feeling depressed, and now he was making me go insane. My mind was already a mess, and he was filling in more and more that it was going to burst. I wanted to scream, begging for my thoughts to disappear but they wouldn’t stop suffocating me. Tears were forming in my eyes, not from despair, but anger. 

“I FUCKING HATE YOU!” I screamed, my voice cracking as the ‘you’ dragged on. My body bent forward, planting a fist on the king’s chest, but it delivered a weak punch. He didn’t faze, not even a flinch. He let me do so, not attempting to stop me when I continuously landed him multiple weak punches. “I hate you,” I said with each punch, breaking down further when he did not react as I felt unheard, no matter how much I screamed my thoughts out. My words felt unworthy. I felt left out.

At some point, I had stopped punching him, choosing to lay against him instead. My head leaned against his chest, sobbing with my face staring at the floor. I watched as my tears dropped, creating multiple drips of small tears on the marble. 

“I don’t like you,” I mumbled through sobs.

His hands touched my face, lifting my head up to face upward. I stared at him from below, feeling his thumbs swipe across my tears. Then he pulled me into a hug, my head now laid on his shoulder. His head snuggled closer to lean against mine, a hand playing with my hair while another held my waist close to him.

“I do. What can you do about it?”

I wanted to believe that.

I feel myself being pulled deeper into the room. He dropped me on the bed, not as harsh but also not as gentle. He began stripping himself, and I felt a slight panic rise. “Relax,” he assured me when he noticed my eyes wandering in search of an escape route. He didn’t fully strip himself, leaving an undertunic on before he climbed onto the bed.

“Sure you don’t want to strip before you sleep?”

“You haven’t had dinner yet.”

The king snorted. He laid himself sideways on the bed, covering himself with the quilt. “I’m not hungry. Besides, I have something better to do than that.” His arms spread open in welcome of me to lay in.

“I hate you.”

“Oh,” he said. “Sorry. Should you return to your room then.”

I fought not to act surprised, because I genuinely was. Even though I had been hopeless to think that he never liked me, something deep within me wished to change that. I wanted to change his mind, I wanted him to like me. Things had been done in my universe, and there was no use in changing Seizhu’s heart when Rin was gone. In this universe, Rin was alive. I wondered if I could take the chance to steal his heart away from Rin to prove myself worthy instead of being a replacement for Rin.

But I wasn’t someone who would make the first move.

I let the others guide me, unable to take the lead. That was why Rin was more likable than me. My mission was not to fall for the king, but the other way around to make him yield the throne for Hikray.

I made my way forward to crawl off the bed, climbing over him to avoid touching his limbs. Just when I reached the edge of the bed, and my feet touched the ground, I felt myself being dragged backwards, being pulled into a chest with a pair of arms caging me in.

Somehow, I felt relieved to be drawn back. He may not like me, but he wanted my company. At least, I had a place in his heart, rather than just being an ordinary servant. I was Vivyn, not another Rin. He saw me, and all I wanted was to be found.

I acted surprised, putting up an act of struggling when I wanted him to keep holding me. He did just as I wished for, putting me tighter into his embrace and placed his chin on top of my head. “Who do you think I am? You’d think I’d just let you go that easily? I’m a king. I get whatever I want, and you don’t dare defy. Sleeping with me doesn’t kill you. You should be proud to even have this chance.”

He began stripping my clothes, pulling them off aggressively and throwing them somewhere by the bed, leaving me with my linen undershirt on. It felt colder now, but being under his arms granted me warmth. It felt like being in my universe at the moment, sleeping under Seizhu’s arms every night. Though now it was different – Seizhu might saw me as Rin, but the king saw me as Vivyn.

I had a place here – not any special, but I didn’t live to be Rin’s shadow. 

I snapped out of my thoughts. I had to remind myself I wasn’t to fall for the king. This was just a manipulation of mine. The closer I reached his heart, the better the chance his throne would be taken. Hikray deserved the throne.

Close to drifting to sleep, I watched as the candlelight finished burning. There was a whisper in my ear, gentle enough to not startle me awake. It made me feel more comfortable somehow, like a comforting lullaby.

“I hesitated. I didn’t want a queen, I wanted a mate. When I said to offer Rin to be my mate, I hesitated.”

Chapter Text

I wore the king’s scarf as he sat by the balcony of the queen mother’s palace. An unfinished chess play laid on the oaken slab. The queen mother had gone to do something midway, now the king sat while he stared at the chess, deliberating his next move against the queen. 

I didn’t understand their intention of playing under the snow on the balcony. Snowflakes landed on the chessboard but the king only waved them away unbothered. Weren’t they freezing? I already was, but all I could do was stand by the king’s side. A servant brought in another pot of tea, but it was pointless as it turned cold quickly in this weather. The king moved his chess piece before the queen returned. She sat down and scanned through the chess, before the king insisted for her to make the next move.

“My young king,” the queen started, yet to be cut off by the king.

“Mother,” he said. “I don’t want to talk anything about a queen.”

Even though the queen mother was caught off guard, her mind remained focused on chess, making her next move and taking a piece from the king. The king twitched his eyebrow at her attack, as he’d worked hard strategizing his defense.

“A crown cannot rule – a queen by your side is the only way to make your reign whole. You must not delay any longer, my son. This kingdom will fall apart –”

The king harshly moved his chess piece, and she stopped for his irritation. She was disappointed, but she allowed the king to have a say in this to convince her somehow. She stared at him for a few moments before putting her eyes back to the chess.

“I can rule, mother. I don’t need a queen – stop sending me ladies after ladies to convince me to give them the honor of being my queen, because I will not.”

“You are taking this the wrong way. I want you to get a queen not merely for duty, but your heart. So long a queen stands beside you, it fills you whole.”

Words after words, they would move their chess piece after another, as if it was what signifies who wins the debate. The king drank the whole cup of tea in one sip, eying at me to pour him another cup. I did as told, and I could feel the queen mother’s eyes staring at me suspiciously.

“Well, I have done as you told once – you were the one who denied my offer.”

“My king, the queen has to be a lady –” 

“Was there a rule about it? A queen has to be a lady?” the king huffed. “It wasn’t mentioned even once. You said the queen is for my heart, then it has to be my mate who fills it, doesn’t it? Yet you insist me to choose a lady in this palace that I’m not interested in to be my queen?”

“Loving a male is a sin. You’re being led the wrong way. No – your mind tells you you love the boy, but your heart belongs to someone else. You have no idea what loving someone feels like, and you will find it soon when you get to know more about the ladies.”

“I am the leader – I’m not to be led. I know exactly where I am heading, and it is what I choose. You’ve said if things get done, then there wouldn’t be a problem. I’ve made my choice, and I can assure you this kingdom would be anything but fall apart. So you either support my decisions, or I won’t even make a queen exist in this kingdom.”

“You don’t need a loving queen as long as you keep the courtier. As long as we have a proper queen, none of us have to worry –”

The king placed his piece on the board with a serious visage. It felt as if the air had forced our lungs to block out, unable to speak another word – it was fear we all felt, even if it was just in an instant. 

“Checkmate, mother.”

The queen could only sigh and back out. The chess really represented the winner of the debate. Before she could make another comment, a servant had stepped in. She kneeled to both the queen and the king and spoke, “Queen mother, Lady Nerya has asked to see you. Should we let her come in?”

The queen mother hesitated. “No. I’ll come forward.” Her servant helped her as she stood, making her way out of the balcony. “Think this thoroughly, my son.”

Of course, the king could not bother. He crossed his legs and drank his tea. Now his attention was on me since I stood just behind him, his eyes locked with mine as he sipped. He moved his cup away, offering it to me when I could see some left in the cup. I thought he’d wanted me to refill it, so I moved over to grab the pot but he pushed the cup closer to my face when I leaned forward.

I was startled, backing away with the pot in my hands. He frowned, gesturing for me to step forward and finish his drink.

“I am not drinking what you touched.”

The guard by the doorway began to lift their sword and approached me, but the king hissed at him to back away. The queen mother’s guards were more active than his. They wouldn’t even bother to give a warning before planning to slice my head off – just the same as the queen.

The king lifted his cup higher now that I was close to having my head cut off before his command. “You wouldn’t want them to report your defiance against the king to the queen mother, would you?”

I growled at him, before snatching the cup from his hand. I ignored how it did not make him budge, his hand followed mine to pour the drink into my throat. I wiped my wet lips with my sleeves, attempting to wipe his traces of saliva from the cup.

He took the pot from my hand, pouring the tea by himself. It had already gone cold, but it was his favourite black tea anyway. He made an act of licking the cup on the edge, from inside and out, as he sipped his tea. He laughed at my offended face, my eyes widening with loath. 

“My king.” The queen mother returned. She wouldn’t take her seat, as if unable to approach her son. She was disturbed, but by what we didn’t know. She stood beside the guard, staring at him with anger. The king shifted, worried that he might have offended her. “Why would you say such a thing to Lady Nerya?”

...

All of the servants were kicked out, including the guards. The queen mother had indirectly yelled at us, she was planning to have a serious conversation with the king. It was unexpected – none of us had ever seen this side of the queen, fraught with anger. 

I didn’t know if it was against the rules, but I wandered around the palace now that I had no one to serve. There wasn’t much to discover. Many places were forbidden for me to enter without the king, so I could only stay in the garden. I tried searching for Hailey, but it felt as though she was always nowhere to be seen. Had she switched her duty? Or was she thrown to the dungeon? I stood by the bridge as I wondered if I should ask the supervisor. 

I stared at the lake. There were many colourful and large fish. The servants must’ve fed them well – the supervisor was strict after all. Though he was who the king liked – a loyal servant, it gave the others a hard time working under his command. I chuckled at the thought of him scolding me for leisuring here if I was caught.

I felt the fence budge slightly, like someone has thrown their weight onto it. When I looked up, I found Rin standing by my side with his back leaning against the fence, his arms spread to lay beside himself. He was smiling, then he began to whistle.

He called for me when I turned around to leave. “Don’t walk away,” he said. “If you get caught without the king, just wandering around the palace like you thought you were a free bird, they’d send you to the dungeon for that.”

“I am to leave either way. I’d rather be in the dungeon than staying here with you.”

“Oh? But if I were to be by your side, you wouldn’t have to tolerate those ladies – do you always see me as such a threat? Everyone in this palace is so easy to seduce, but you just wouldn’t fall under my spell.”

“You wouldn’t believe how many of them despise you in secret. They’re probably only being nice to you because you’re the king’s courtier.”

Rin allowed himself to fall to lay against the fence. He sat clumsily, as if he was a drunk man. His eyelids were half-closed, his face was flushed and his clothes were messy. I wouldn’t even be surprised if he had just slept with a random person.

“Don’t you feel disgusted with yourself? You walk around like you’re always ready to sleep with someone. You are a whore, do you get it?”

“My service was always welcomed. Wanna give it a try?”

“Over my dead body.”

“I’ve always wanted to test it out with you.”

“I’m glad the queen mother doesn’t even like you.”

“Oh, but the king does. That’s quite enough for anyone.”

Chapter Text

“Don’t bullshit me,” I scowled at him.

As I turned around to leave, a lady had presented herself just in time. I froze. If she was to find me without a leadership around, she had the authority to punish me. It was Lady Nerya – the one who punished me by kneeling. I recognized her name from Lady Loryn’s tongue. 

I kneeled, hoping she wouldn’t remember my face. I was relieved when her eyes were on Rin, not paying attention to me. She was grinning at him, like he had done something pleasant to her before this. She didn’t bother me interfering by being in the middle of their moment, but still she questioned my presence. “Why are you here? Oh? Hasn’t Lord Hikray been sent to war? Who are you to serve if he isn’t here?”

I wanted to tell her that I served the king, but clamped my mouth shut when I figured it would only make things worse. Rin spoke up for me before I could make an excuse.

“He serves me, Lady Nerya,” he said, standing up from his position and bowing to her. He didn’t look all drunk and blunt now, suddenly a refined and charming man. “We were about to leave before you showed up. What brings you here?”

Lady Nerya shook her head. “Just collecting some herbal leaves. He serves you? I didn’t know the courtier could have a personal servant. Has he switched his lordship?”

Rin shrugged. “He still serves the king. He is sent to associate with me now that the king’s busy. I supposed I’d make good use of him. Would you mind if I change our plans for later? It is unusual for me to catch up with a servant. We could save it for another time.”

The lady frowned, not to the fact that I served the king but dismayed by his sudden change of plans. “That sudden? I had our night planned out.” 

“That’s bad. Perhaps you’d like to join? My bed chamber is large enough.”

My eyes widened when I realised what he meant by making good use of me. I suppressed the urge to snap to his lie, yet it was what saved me out of trouble even if he added unnecessary statements. I wasn’t going to sleep with him – and with the lady joining? I’d rather run back to the king now and leave her to make reports.

“Oh, it’s fine,” she quickly denied. “It could wait. Have fun with your servant.”

Everyone acted so casually when the courtier implied that he’d sleep with someone. It was his job after all, a toy of entertainment. I cackled softly to myself by the thought of how pathetic his statue was.

Just when I was satisfied with my thoughts, I felt an arm hooking mine, towing me up in a quick move. I stumbled as he dragged me to leave, fighting against his grip but it only tightened its hold.

“I’ll make you up for it,” Rin waved to the lady. 

...

Rin shoved me onto the bed chamber. It wasn’t as large as I inquired but it definitely could fit three people in. I gasped, tripping against my leg and falling onto the bed. I quickly moved my hands to push myself back up before I felt his grip on me, taking both my wrists in one, and tying them with a lace he removed from his curtain. 

“Hey – you fuck –”

I groaned when I felt the lace tightening around my wrists, so hard that it almost pained me. I kicked my legs to the air, hoping it would somehow land a harsh blow on him but to be grabbed on my ankles instead. I felt myself being flipped over, my back laid against the mattress. My hands behind my back were being weighted from my body, and it felt terribly uncomfortable. Rin moved himself closer, my legs in his hands. He held a face with lust, looking at me like I was his meal.

“You wouldn’t want your legs to be tied too, would you?”

“What the fuck are you doing? Let me go!”

He smashed his lips against mine, forcing a grunt out of my throat. I couldn’t have my hands to push him away, so I bit his lips as hard as I could, that I could taste his blood forming. He backed away, staring at me in displeasure yet unsurprised. He licked the blood on his bottom lips, hissing when he touched the wound.

“Shouldn’t you be grateful that I saved you?”

“Saved me? I didn’t need your help! I could’ve handled her myself but you flattered yourself in helping me!”

I flinched when his hand touched my chest, and he began stripping my clothes, causing me to struggle more but in no result for my hands were trapped. 

“Stop, you fuck –”

“It isn’t Lady Nerya that you’re going to only handle. The supervisor saw you alone. He didn’t confront you, instead he made his way to the king for you are his servant not in duty. The king is with the queen mother, isn’t he? If he was to tell, they’d both know your crime. What you’ve done is disregard the king. You are to be tortured in the dungeon if the queen mother knows. Even with the king defending you, the most mercy she could give is beheading you.”

I winced when my tunic was pulled off. He couldn’t strip it off of me when my hands were tied, so he left it open to reveal my linen undershirt. I was terrified by the thought that he really was going to bend me over tonight, pondering over if I should stop him by begging.

“So what? You walked into the supervisor and stopped him? Well, I said – I’d rather be beheaded than having to spend the night with you!”

“You really are an egotistic servant. Should I punish you in favour of the king.”

“No – wait!”

My linen was off, and now I was completely naked, uncovered by my clothes. He began pushing me deeper into the bed, crawling himself in and closing the curtains of the chamber. It was dark, with no lights in but only the candlelight from the outside seeping through the curtains. My breathing turned faster and heavier, gasping when I felt his hand moving to touch between my thighs.

I fought not to cry. There wasn’t a way for me to make him stop, unless I begged for it. Though I wasn’t sure it would convince him, it was worth a try rather than not attempting. “Please – Rin,” I sobbed. It pained me to be giving in so early. “I don’t want this.”

He climbed towards me, leaning his body against mine with his hands still tracing my rim. It wasn’t my first time, yet I felt oversensitive when it came to Rin. It felt awful to have someone I hated touching me. My cries echoed through the air, with nothing else interrupting. His other hand wrapped around my waist, and I knew from that moment he wasn’t planning to stop.

He licked my tears away, wanting to kiss my lips but was hesitant for I would bite. He traced down my jaw to the crook of my neck instead, licking and biting. I tilted my head backwards, attempting to move away from his mouth but to be pulled closer. His teeth sunk into me,  and his finger on my rim dipped in. A moan was forced out of my throat, my hips moving accordingly. 

I couldn’t understand why my body reacted more sensitively when it came to Rin. It reacts to him, and I couldn’t feel any more disturbed. He began thrusting, then a second finger entered, then the third. “Ah – fuck –” I wanted him to stop, yet my body begged him to give me more. I felt him smirk against my skin, curling and spreading his fingers, forcing more noises out of me.

“Stop – ah –” I was sobbing, not from the pain but from how disgusting I felt. It wasn’t painful, but pleasure instead. I was confused at how my body could betray me to someone like him. He planted a kiss on my neck, before backing up to strip himself.

My body felt uncomfortably empty when his fingers left. It ached for more even if I tried to control myself. He stared at me with an amazed grin, satisfied with how he made me feel. He was quick to finish stripping, tossing his clothes somewhere else and laid back down. His weight felt comfortable being on top of me, and I could feel him lining himself from below. 

“Fucking stop –”

“You seem to enjoy yourself.”

I choked on myself when I felt him enter. He moaned into the crook of my neck, thrusting deeper every second. I arched my back from the oversensitivity, my toes curled against the sheets. It felt good. Fuck, it felt so good.

“Ngh – you – let me – fuck!” I cursed at myself for stuttering, unable to form a sentence from the overpleasure. He laughed, hands placing on my waist to pull me closer. I was filled with sweat, every part of my body was scorching like I was burning. I wanted to return to the king, to escape from this vile torture. 

My body just wouldn’t listen to me.

He was breathing heavily, hot breaths hitting against my chest. I glared at him, seeing him smiling at me like I hung the moon sickened me. Suddenly, he flipped me over. My body jolted at the sudden movement, and I felt his head over my shoulder to bite my ear. A hand was on my throat, not strangling me but lifting my head up so my body could arch. 

He began thrusting, slow at start before picking up his pace. I moaned, and moaned, and moaned, my hips jerking at will. It was to the point that I felt so disgusted at myself and began having trouble with my breathing. 

Why am I like this?

I’m not supposed to react like this.

I wanted to struggle, but my body was numb, like it had given in all to Rin. I felt trapped by my own cage, controlled by something I couldn’t reach. 

Stop.

“You’re spending the whole night with me.”

Chapter Text

There was this uncomfortable gaze on me that I could feel even though I was asleep. There was a sweaty body leaning against my back, my side laid painfully on an arm while a finger pressed on my lips. I fluttered my eyes open to see a figure standing in front, blocking the sunlight that seeped through the window. 

I lifted my head, sliding it against the pillow to get a better view. The king stood with a scowl on his face, clearly unhappy with our business. I quickly removed Rin’s hands away, waking him up incidentally. He groaned, his hand came to rub his eyes. 

“Oh. My king,” he said, his voice drowsy.

“Explain why you are together.”

The king was direct, and cold. He wasn’t in a bright mood, possibly from the interrogation from the last evening with the queen mother. I shifted. The events from last night flashed through my mind, and I suddenly had the urge to throw up. I felt my puke rising from my throat, and I choked on it to avoid greasing myself.

I hurriedly fumbled myself off the bed, simply taking a cloth to cover myself and rushed to somewhere I could release my filth. I heard my name being called, but I made no intention to respond. There was a drain just outside the palace and I kneeled by it, throwing up with my hand against the wall for support. Thank god the servants swept the snow.

The king was by my side when I finished. I couldn’t bear to look at him. Everything I could see now was the events from last night, and Rin’s face haunting me in my nightmares. I fought to stand, coughing into my hands. I wanted to avert my eyes from his gaze, still I used all my strength to look at him, kneeling at his presence.

“My king.” My voice was hoarse.

“I don’t get it,” he grumbled. “Why are you with him? Shouldn’t you be serving me? He’s my courtier. Since when were servants allowed to touch the king’s treasure?”

I wanted to throw up at his words again. He could have him all he wanted. It wasn’t like I was the one who approached him in the first place. I was in no mood to argue – and really, I don’t think I should ever behave crude anymore. It was my disdainful personality that caught their attention, putting me in this situation. If I had been a well-behaved servant from the start, I wouldn’t have ended up here. I should’ve been who Vivyn was, and not making myself stand out even if I never tended to. 

I wanted to return to Hikray. I wanted to return to being his friend again. If I had a choice, I’d rather serve Hikray my whole life, with none other unwanted attention. I wanted to return to a home where they would love me as Vivyn and not Rin.

“I’m sorry, my king,” I said in a shaky breath. The king won. My loyalty and respect was now his, just as he wanted. “It won’t happen again.”

The king snarled, turning around to leave. “Get your clothes and clean your mess. We’re leaving for a meeting.”

...

Hikray had returned.

He led the war to victory, and now he kneeled by the king’s throne with honor. The king grinned, satisfied with the soldier he chose. Though it was amazing news, Hikray didn’t look all content with the result. 

“I knew you would prevail. You have my honor, and you deserve to stand with pride. Tell me – what prize would you like? Do you wish to marry a lady in this palace? I shall consent to it.”

“My king,” Hikray said. “Actually, there is something I need to say. This war – we barely won. Their leader wasn't any elite soldier from their kingdom, but a child that wasn’t older than 20. He fought well. He was truly talented. He managed both his sabotage and defense so deftly that I almost couldn’t keep up with his pace. Many of our soldiers were killed because of a single child. I almost lost to him in a duet. If it hadn’t been his sword breaking in mid-fight, I wouldn’t have won.”

The king frowned. Clearly, he could get where Hikray was leading this conversation to, but he wanted him to word it out. “So?”

“A monster trained this child, my king. This is far from over. If they were to appoint a leader from among their own soldiers, they would never risk choosing an elite — not when they were testing the limits of their own creation. That child was a sacrifice, no matter how skilled he was in defeating our finest. There will be more to come.”

That was what was holding Hikray back from celebrating his triumph. The air around us became heavy instead of charged with victory. The king sighed as he planted his face against his hand. “Gather every lord in the battlefield the next morning. Should I personally train you all, and you will pass your knowledge to the young soldiers. Schedule your training stricter – train them beyond swordsmanship, in field strategy and battlefield awareness.”

“Yes, my king.” Hikray bowed to his command. “Would you try and talk to the enemies?”

The king scoffed, slightly offended that Hikray was suggesting him as if he never had a plan in mind. “I will. I’ll talk to the queen mother about this, and we’ll demand a conference with them.”

That was only when Hikray’s shoulders faltered. I never noticed he had been tense the whole time, and it urged me to cling to him. 

“Do you still wish for a prize?” I was surprised the king had brought it up again, like he was eager to reward him. It seemed he was really delighted with the victory he brought.

“I – do. Do I get to choose anything I want?”

“As long as it is appropriate.”

Hikray’s eyes flashed through mine, and he quickly returned his gaze to the king. The king took the hint before Hikray could speak, and he rejected the untold request almost immediately, startling Hikray . “Pick another,” he warned. Disappointment was shown clearly in Hikray’s face, but it quickly faltered when he made another decision in his mind.

“I’d like to court Lady Loryn.”

“I’ll grant that,” the king announced coldly, before he stood to make his leave. “She’ll live under your name if she insists, but your wedding should come when this war is finished.”

“Yes, my king. I am honored to have your sanction.” Hikray kneeled.

But the king bore no eye, stomping out of the room like Hikray had done something unpleasant to him. He was up to his feet when the king left, and our eyes met. We had the same thoughts, wanting to feel each other’s embrace. I had so much to tell him. I had longed for his return after not being by his side for a long time. This world breathed heavier without Hikray – tightening around me in his absence like he was the one pushing them apart.

Just when I was about to step forward, my name cut through the air. The king was still watching us. I let my eyes linger on him one last time before stepping away, wishing he could read my thoughts.

I’ll wait for you.

The king didn’t go to find the queen mother, or meet the lords and ladies when he had several councils to attend. He made the rules, and the other could only yield to his actions whenever he felt like following them. Instead, he turned up on the battlefield in his palace. It was a place where he trained on his own – practice his archery for his upcoming hunt, and probably invite any lords to battle with him here. This was where the lords were going to meet him the next day for their training session.

The king walked to the armory stand, touching the swords kept there as if examining if they were rusty or dull. His hand stopped at one, then picked it up and tossed it to me without a word, catching me by surprise.

“A war is to come.” His head snapped at me as he said.

“But I am no warrior.”

The king smirked, picking a sword for himself before walking up to me. His hand came to my shoulder, pressing them down to stop them from tensing. His leg hooked mine, pushing it further apart from my other, making me position in a fighting stance. “I remember when I first met you. The time you pulled me down from my horse, I was taken aback. I didn’t expect a slave like you dared to scheme against the king. You have potential – for your bravery and deviousness.”

You should have killed me then.

“You’re training me now?”

He put my empty hand to the sword, tightening around my fingers to make sure I had a tight grip on it. His sword pressed against mine, and it shook me when I could barely overcome his strength even if he showed no trace of effort. Was I so weak, or was he so strong?

“You might have to turn up in the battleground when all our soldiers have fallen.”

“You – you’re not afraid that I might suppress you and take you down one day?”

The king’s smirk grew wider, but something was refraining him from smiling, like he was confused, and bothered. “Who knows? You might, if I let myself give in. But even so, you’ll need to try harder to reach my heart.”

Chapter Text

“You’ve changed.”

Kei spoke from the corner of my room. It has been quite a time since I saw him, as he’d just returned from war. He seemed more neutral than he used to be – back then he would guard the door like a dog standing watch, yet now he stood with his back laying against the wall, even with his arms crossed like he was a guest. I didn’t mind, though. It soothed the tension between us.

I looked at him in confusion when I had just been staring at the air, too busy with my thoughts. “What did?”

He shrugged, eyes wandering to stare at the snow that had fully covered the ground. “Something. I don’t know what, but I can feel it. Perhaps you’re quieter.”

“Have I not always been? Besides, what am I supposed to say when there’s no one for me to speak with?”

“I meant, something is shutting you down. Back then I could hear your thoughts as if you were always planning something, but now, you are quiet.”

I chuckled at his nonsense. “Are you hearing yourself?”

Kei didn’t respond. He unfolded his arms just when I could see a figure walking through the hallway from the reflection of his eyes, then kneeled before greeting, “Lord Hikray.”

It surprised me when he showed up in the middle of the night. Hikray turned around the doorway and stepped into my room. Before I knew, I’d already thrown myself into his arms. It caught him by surprise, for he let out a startled breath, catching me as he tried to find his balance.

“Fuck, I missed you.”

I didn’t mutter it, it came from him, and I could say the same. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, snuggling my head against his and we hugged like it was the end of the world. It felt nice, just feeling each other’s embrace, and nothing should bother us.

“I’ve waited so long for you.”

I felt him smile against my neck, before a peck was placed on my cheek. He carried me to my bed chamber, putting me down to sit on the edge before laying down beside me, putting his head on my lap with a sigh in relief.

“I dreamed of this day to come. Well, not really. I haven’t really slept these few days. But, I’ve been wishing to return to you as soon as the war is over. God – this feels just like heaven. Are you real? Am I dreaming?”

I laughed. It felt relieving to be able to laugh truthfully again, with Hikray by my side. My fingers pinched his skin, earning a hiss of pain from him.

“Ouch,” he said. “So you are real.”

We talked for hours, and hours. Things we never told each other, secrets that were kept for long, stories that we both lived, like the world was ending and we were spending our last moments lost in one another. Till my candlelight burned out, till the sun was soon to rise, till the guards were up to work. 

Hikray straightened himself and left my lap, stepping off the bed and stretching with a yawn. Exhaustion hit me when our moment had come to an end as if I had just snapped into reality. 

“I should head back. The lords are to meet the king later. Don’t laugh at me if I did poorly during the trials! I haven’t been sleeping!”

...

The king was counseling them. I couldn’t hear what they were discussing about, but it’s probably some strategies on the battleground and analysis of their enemies. He had them fight him one after another to test their swordsmanship, taking them down again and again as if they were only amateurs compared to the king. All of them had been elite soldiers, before ranking up to a lord title, yet they were far weaker than the king. Lord Kei was the only one who could last a few more minutes in the duet. 

Something came into my mind when I noticed him. Lord Kei shared the same name as Megurine Kei, my guard. I turned to stare at Kei behind me, as the both of us stood outside of the battlefield, with the other servants of the lords’ around in watch. 

Kei’s eyes twitched when he noticed me staring from the corner of his eyes. “What?”

“You have the same name as Lord Kei’s.”

Kei hesitated before answering. “He’s my brother. I’m Megurine Kei, he’s Mugi Kei.”

I opened my mouth to speak. but was shut out when I realised the servants were making their way to their lords, treating them after a long fight with the king. I quickly turned around to find the king, and to be met by his frown, for the others’ servants were obedient and practical, yet the highest royalty on scene didn’t receive the treatment as much. 

He sat by the platform of guns, hands holding onto the edge of the table and was breathing heavily as he glared at me. I handed him a towel, swinging a fan at his face to cool him down. “Sorry,” I said. “I spaced out.”

He scoffed, lifting his head up slightly so the wind could blow onto his neck. Even if it was Winter, he was still filled with hot sweat, unbothered by the cold. “Wipe me.”

“The lords are here.”

“Did I stutter?”

I traced the towel around his face, wiping the sweat on his forehead, then moving to swipe across his neck. I was quick. Though I didn’t do much, the result was adequate. The lords were making their leave through the gate, bowing at the king as they walked past. Hikray purposely knocked onto my shoulder as he brushed past me, leaving me a smile before making his way out while Verx followed behind.

When the lords were gone, I felt myself being pulled from the front. The king’s face was now closer to mine, and I suddenly could not breathe.

“Wipe me properly this time,” he growled.

I did, carefully even. He was satisfied, almost feeling clean like he wasn't sweating underneath his clothes. He stood from the table, stretching his arms before walking into the battlefield and picked a sword. He threw another to me, insisting me to step in.

“Your turn now. Show me what you’ve learned.”

“Should you not rest, my king?”

“No,” he said, his voice strained with anger. “Now.”

I eventually stepped into the field, putting myself in a fighting stance. I held the sword ahead, awaiting his attacks. I thought he’d go easy on me, but he showed no mercy like I was one of the lords. He charged his attack, fast and accurate. I managed to block a few of his attacks in the beginning, but quickly fell out to his sword landing on my neck. 

He did not swing it, grazing the sharp edge on my neck instead, before pulling away. 

“Again.”

I lost many times. He didn’t tutor me, nor guide me from my mistakes. No. He kept fighting me instead, like I was a puppet for him to mess with. He swung my legs with his and caused me to trip; he punched me on the side of my stomach with the grip of the sword; he landed a harsh kick on my chest and I dropped onto the ground on my back. I felt as if he was using this opportunity to torture me for my mistakes – for sleeping with Rin.

“Stand up,” the king said.

But I couldn’t. I was exhausted, and out of breath. He did not allow me to rest once through the battle. He should know I was no soldier, he should know I couldn’t fight. “No,” I blurted through my breaths. “I can’t.”

He swung his sword at me, but all I could do was block it with my arms covering my head, and my knees hugged to my chest. I breathed into the small space I had, blocking out the outside world with my body.

“Seriously, what is up with you?”

A leg pushed me to drop on my back. My arms and legs fell apart, and a knee pressed on my chest, making it harder to breathe. He kneeled over me, crushing me with his weight, and I couldn’t help but cry out at the impact. 

“Where is that conceited attitude of yours? Where is the Vivyn I knew? What’s gone into you? You’ve grown subdued – cowed like someone’s tamed you. This is worse than when you were an arrogant servant. It suffocates me, Vivyn. You’ve yielded, but not to me. Rin did this to you. After everything I’ve done, he earns your obedience simply by sleeping with you? It infuriates me – to see you wouldn’t kneel to the power I wield, yet you bend for a courtier under my roof? What am I to make of this?”

“I’m fucking tired,” I muttered through tears. My hands clutched onto his leg, not expecting for him to move but a hope in place he would. 

“Come again.”

“I’m fucking tired!” my voice rose. “I don’t have a home. I’ve lost the people I loved. I live being tamed around, as if my will no longer matters. I fought, but it only brings more pain. I’m tired. I’m so tired of enduring more. I’ve brought enough trouble to myself and the others just by acting who I am. So if obedience is what keeps the peace, then I’ll obey. I can’t – take another day of misery anymore.”

How many times have I sobbed to the king?

Well, he was the one who brought misery to me after all. If I have to, he was the only one I could beg to stop my suffering. 

The king stared with no emotion. His anger had faltered, and he held no expression. It was quiet again, only the both of us under the snow, and Kei by the corner of the ground. 

Send me somewhere I belong to, will you?

It hurt more just thinking further, because I knew there was nothing I could do to earn my happiness back. 

The king did the unexpected. He had meetings to attend, he had councils he needed to tutor, yet he chose to lift his leg away, and laid onto the ground beside me. He did nothing else, but stared at me till the sun was setting down, and the sky darkened.

Chapter Text

I woke in a place that wasn’t my bed chamber, but somewhat familiar. I groaned as I sat up, and an ache rang through my head. I must’ve passed out. The last thing I remembered was laying on the snow, sobbing at the sky.

The king. Where was the king?

“Congrats.” A voice echoed through the room. My head turned to the voice, seeing Kei by the door as expected. “You’re back to serving Lord Hikray.”

“What –” I blurted. “How –”

“This is what you wanted, isn’t it? The king fulfilled you.”

I didn’t understand my own emotions. This was what I wanted – being back at Hikray’s side should’ve made me happy. And I was happy. Yet something tugged at me, holding me back. I was thrilled by the news, but at the same time, struck by a feeling I couldn’t name.

I felt as if I owed the king for this. No – I don’t owe him anything.

This was what should have been done.

“You don’t sound happy about it,” I responded.

Kei snarled, turning his gaze back to the outside. “Of course I’d prefer staying with the king,” he said, like it was something obvious.

“How loyal.”

My legs touched the cold tiles on the ground, familiar with the room, but a strange feeling in my chest. I went to wash up, suiting myself before preparing to serve Hikray. Then there was the king’s scarf.

My hand stopped when I realised I hadn’t returned it, and I pondered whether I should. Should I take it as a gift? But I was no servant of his now, why would a king gift a servant that he wasn’t fond of? It might gain me strange stares from the lords and ladies.

And I didn’t want any more attention.

I left the scarf on my bed chamber, planning to return it when there was a chance. I walked out of the room, breathing into the not as tensed the air as the air in the king’s palace. It was more calming here, and soothing.

Hikray was talking with Lady Loryn when I entered his palace. That sat by the imperial throne, a handstand in between with teas and pastries on. Lady Loryn stopped her laughter when she noticed my presence as I bowed to them. Before I could straighten myself, I felt Hikray’s weight being thrown into me, almost causing me to trip.

“I couldn’t sleep all night just after the king told me you were back to serving me,” Hikray said, his voice filled with joy, tightening the embrace. He then held my face between his palms, like he had no shame even when Lady Loryn was watching. Seemingly they’d both gotten much closer than they used to be. “Welcome back, Vivyn.”

Hikray sounded so – genuine, that it almost made me feel guilty to not return the same feeling. I was happy – happy to be in Hikray's arms again, happy to be by his side again, but something was holding me back from expressing it. 

“I –” I hesitated. I need to talk to the king. What made him send me back to you? Has he abandoned me? But why would I bother to know? I’d finally escaped the king’s grasp. He’d finally released me. Yet it made me feel – empty. Looking at Hikray’s smile could almost distract me from my thoughts, and it made me ache to let myself be pulled into his light. I don’t need anything else. I have Hikray. “I miss this.”

...

“You are of one good fuck.”

“Let me hear your voice.”

“You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?”

You are of one good fuck.

“Scream louder, Vivyn.”

You are of one good –

“Fuck!” I yelled in the middle of night, the silence filled with my scream. My body had pushed itself up, sweating all over like I had just run a mile. Rin haunts me. I couldn’t sleep a day without waking up traumatised by the nightmares. I was breathing fast and heavy, and I needed cool air to calm myself.

Kei had taken his rest. Servants would stop their duties when their leadership had rested. I simply took the king’s scarf before stepping out for a walk. No one would be awake at this hour anyway.

I closed the gate carefully before leaving. The night was cold, and dead silent. Everyone had sunk into sleep, filling the palace with peace without the tension of duties and wars. My footsteps could be heard, trailing along the snow and walking with no destination. The moon shone bright in the sky, giving me the light to see the cold breaths from my mouth, and the paths to the king’s palace.

Even if I had found my harmony in this palace, and had nowhere I belonged to, somewhere in me still wished to return home. I wanted to see my friends again, despite the fact that they never saw me as Vivyn. I wanted to feel loved, to be cared for without thinking that I lived as someone’s shadow. 

I want to go home.

A shuffle came from the front, but I couldn’t make out which direction it was. I stumbled a head, peeking my head through a corner to see Hailey leaning by the wall. 

I was startled, not expecting another person to be out in the night. “Hailey?”

She snapped her head to my voice in surprise, eyes widening when she caught sight of me.

“Vivyn!” she whisper-yelled, a few cold breaths wafted out of her. She hopped towards me, hitting my shoulder as her greeting.

“What are you doing out here?”

“Shouldn’t I ask the same?”

“I asked first!” Hailey pouted at me, and I almost forgot that she had a spirited energy. Her eyes suddenly widened, pulling me aside and hushing me when I tried to speak. We hid in the dark corner, then a few soldiers passed by our eyes, not noticing our presence. I wasn’t even aware that there were guards still wandering around the palace on duty. I was lucky to not get caught after that long walk.

Hailey only relaxed when the guards were far enough, loosening her hold on me and walking closer to the light where she could see properly. “So?”

“I just needed a walk.”

She opened her mouth to speak, before her eyes caught sight of my scarf under the moonlight, glimmering with amaze just by looking at it like it was treasure. Her hands reached to touch the scarf, feeling its texture and tracing her fingers along the soft, intricate patterns. Her excitement faltered when something popped in her mind. 

“This is the king’s scarf,” she mumbled. I gulped, in disbelief that she would see through it just by feeling the cloth. “He gave you this? I knew you could do it, Vivyn! Honestly, I was shocked that you hadn't forgotten about me before the king raised my ranks! Seems like you’ve earned his approval, haven’t you? And the scarf? Oh – you might’ve reached deeper than that!”

“Wait, Hailey – the king raised your ranks?”

“What? He approved your request, didn’t he? I am now Lord Kei’s personal servant! Lord Kei, Vivyn. Lord Kei!”

“What – why are you out here then?”

Hailey sighed, leaning her back against the wall again. “We actually fought,” she said, her voice turning sorrowful suddenly. “It’s actually been days since the argument. I had another servant to serve him instead while I take over their works in his palace, then I sometimes just come out walking late at night to clear my thoughts. We will make up, eventually – I hope. So, don’t worry about it – I’ve been searching for you to give my thanks, Vivyn! Where have you been?”

“Since when do servants fight with their lords?”

It kind of made sense – the way Lord Kei hadn’t been performing well in the recent duets with the king. He must’ve been affected by the argument too, perhaps related to something about the war. 

Hailey averted my question, though she must be thinking the same about me when I constantly slip my question in without answering hers. “Wouldn’t the king be furious when he finds out you’ve run away from his palace?”

“I’m not running away – and I’m not serving the king.”

“You what?” That was unnecessarily loud, forcing me to quiet her down to avoid catching attention from the guards. “What are you to him if you’re not his servant? Why would he give you this scarf?”

“I once was, okay? And I’m planning to return it when I have the chance. Please – don’t tell anyone.”

“What –” Hailey blurted, still in shock and utter dismay. “Do you intend to sin, Vivyn?”

Chapter Text

I now stood out of the battlefield with the other servants, not in the name of the king’s servant but Lord Hikray’s. There were whispers all around me, multiple stares bore into my back and I fought to ignore them. They were talking about me, I could hear them clearly and loud. Everyone questioned how I turned from Hikray’s servant to the king’s, then back to Hikray’s, as if I was fooling around them.

Why would he choose to be Lord Hikray’s servant when he could be the king’s?

You think he has a choice? The king’s patience for him had clearly waned.

Have you heard? He worked in the barn just months ago. They said he was a wretch.

My fists clenched by my side, and I urged myself to loosen them. A hand knocked onto my shoulder, and I turned to see Hailey wearing a coat with a smile on. “Knew I’d see you here. I talked Lord Kei through. We’re even now. I’m back to serving him, and we can see each other everyday!”

I was grateful yet confused how she was so eager to see me. I couldn’t see the fun in me to bring her joy, so why was she so delighted? I watched as she stared ahead, and my eyes followed her sight. She was admiring the fight of the king with Lord Kei, amazed by their talent in close combat, almost drooling when she couldn’t take her eyes off.

“Lord Kei is so cool,” she muttered. “But not as cool as the king.”

Her words came exactly when Lord Kei was defeated, laying on the ground in dismay. The king swung his sword, scanning his surroundings and awaiting for the next warrior to fight. His eyes caught mine, and he averted them at once.

I frowned. He wasn’t ignoring me, but somehow a hint of fear of me? What have I – 

“He looked at you!” Hailey wasn’t loud, yet she worded it right in the middle of silence. The duet had just ended, and everyone was silent with tension for there was no scenery to survey. Hailey chose to speak and not whisper, shocked by what she’d seen and unable to control herself. All eyes turned to her, and I contemplated if I should follow to embarrass her more. 

Who looked at who? I could see the question formed in everyone’s mind. 

She stuttered, unable to form another word. A servant was not to speak without permission, not in a field of royalty. Nobody dared to comment at her misdeed, awaiting the king to take initiative. Yet the king spoke no words, staring at nothing with his eyebrows furrowed as if he knew what she meant, thickening the tension without trying.

Is he going to order her beheading?

Or will he cut her head off then with his own sword?

The guards shifted from their positions, expecting a command from the king to drag her out. But the king did no such, instead, he struck the sword Lord Kei had dropped from the ground with his foot, propelling it toward Hailey. Hailey was startled, staring at the weapon on her feet. 

“Pick it up,” the king said, his voice commanding, making even the lords flinch. Those were the first words the king had spoken that day. All could sense the storm raging within the king, as if he had been holding them from bursting.

I wanted to speak for her, but I knew I was in no place to. However, Lord Kei had spoken. “My king,” he demanded, kneeling even to make his words more convincing. “I will never take her here again. It was a mistake, she acted out of impulse. I plead with you – if you are to punish her, put it out on me instead, for I am her lord responsible for her actions.”

“I don’t want to hear another word,” the king grumbled. “Get the fuck off – pick up that sword, and get the fuck in.” His word turned from Lord Kei to Hailey. His voice would raise every curse word he’d said, as if they knew what it meant, but acknowledged to back off.

Hailey wouldn’t in the least, be able to fight properly since she was wearing a dress. She picked up the sword, slowly walking into the battlefield. Walking in meant she was ready to lose a part of her body, because really – it wasn’t a fight, it was to see what mercy the king would bestow by cutting which part of her.

There was a moment of silence, before the king charged.

She blocked,

and blocked,

then slash –

Her fingers were cut off.

Hailey wouldn’t scream. Back then, no matter how many times the supervisor hit her, she would not make a sound, like it would be the death of her if she did. This time, Hailey did. She dropped her sword, and her legs gave out. She kneeled by the ground, hugging her hands into her chest as she leaned forward. She cried, and cried, and cried.

The king swung the blood out of his sword before turning away because the filth bothered his eyes. The guards came quickly, dragging her out of the field and carried her to the healer. Her cries became faint, and nobody dared make a sound.

Her blood splayed on the snow. It wasn’t much, but enough to scare the servants. I couldn’t think straight. Hailey was punished, because of me. 

“Lord Hikray,” the king commanded. And Hikray knew just to prepare himself to fight with the king.

...

 When we returned to Hikray’s palace, Hikray plunged himself onto the bed without washing up. He had a few scars that needed to be cleaned, as the king had been more aggressive than ever. Hikray managed to save himself from a few major injuries. If he hadn’t been talented in swordcraft, he would have earned some stabs on his stomach. I was going to get him to the infirmary, but he persisted in refusing, walking back to his palace when I had no power to order him around.

“Hikray,” I scolded. “You need a healer.”

“I can live with a few scars.”

“You do not! A royalty should not –”

“Was the king mad about you?”

I was taken aback, how he could switch the subject matter to another so quickly. I wanted to deny, but Hikray began to strip his coat, catching me off guard and not being able to open my mouth. He stood up and held a hand on his chin, while his other arm crossed over his chest as if he was a detective. “He is, isn’t he? He looked at you once, and that made the servant scream in surprise. Was she celebrating for you? I didn’t know you were fond of each other. I’ve seen her with Lord Kei – they were pretty close. Lord Kei must be anxious now that his servant got hurt, and displeased the king.”

“What are you trying to say?” I snapped at him.

“What did you do to the king?”

“I don’t know. I did nothing,” I said, distracted by the clear scars on his arms now that his sleeves were rolled up. There were cuts with blood, but not deep enough for the blood to flow out. He didn’t even bother covering up with bandages despite not smearing medicine on them. I needed to find a way to get him to the healer. “Permit me, Hikray. I must get you medicine.”

Hikray shook his head. “We’re talking about you, Vivyn. Stop avoiding my question.”

“It doesn’t matter! He’s always been mad at me! Can’t you see? He keeps finding ways to make me pay! Hailey is my friend, yet he cut her fingers off to show me how easily he can destroy someone’s life if I so much as upset him. It’s always been like this!”

Hikray’s face was filled with doubt, as if he already had the answer in his mind but he just wanted to hear it from me. “Today is a special case. You’re hiding something from me, Vivyn.” He walked closer, as if it would get him the answer he wanted just by approaching me. 

“What is it that you don’t get? He has done worse, Hikray. You don’t know how hard –”

Hikray snatched my wrists, turning both of us around to drop on the bed with him pinning me down. A flash of Rin’s face appeared on Hikray’s, but I quickly pushed it away, because I knew Hikray wouldn’t do that. Hikray wouldn’t do anything that upsets me.

“Listen. I know how the king would lash out on you, but it wasn’t the same as before. This time, it wasn’t about hurting you – it was raw, an anger he had been holding. When Hailey mentioned you, that was his last breaking point, and he chose to spill it over her. He wasn’t trying to punish you, not exactly. But it felt like he wanted you to notice, to feel the weight of his fury over something you had done.” I couldn’t make myself interrupt him at how serious Hikray was, that was rare to see since he always was a humorous person. “It isn’t as easy as you think. You sparked something in him, Vivyn – why would he send you back to me? That must be the core of the matter!”

I wish I knew too, Hikray. Fuck.

I didn't know what came into me. I pushed my head up to smash my lips against his, perhaps hoping it would make him drop the conversation so I wouldn’t have to answer. It surprised him, but he quickly returned the kiss. Slowly, kissing turned to making out, then we did the deed until the sun set.

Chapter Text

There was a fight in the class when I returned.

Many pupils surrounded the scenery, making it hard for us to walk through when I needed to get my paperwork and hand it in to the professor. Some were cheering, while some were trying to call for help. I told myself to ignore what was going on and just head to my seat, but it was Seizhu the one fighting, with his own friend.

The desks were messed up from their original places, while his friend, Hale, was lying on the floor from the bag Seizhu had thrown at. Why were they fighting? Weren’t they friends? Was the argument so bad that they had to make a scene?

I tried to avert my gaze, heating to my seat nervously and searched for my paperwork. My hands were trembling before I could realise, as if I was to join the fight. My mind pondering over questions to myself. Should I stop them? They were both my friends, but I didn’t want to attract attention from the others either. But I had to stop them at some point, wasn’t I? I couldn’t just let them keep fighting. 

“What the fuck is up with you? I haven’t even done anything, you bitch!”

“Know your fucking place, you piece of shit. You know exactly what you’re doing.”

There was a sound of chairs creaking. I could see Seizhu picking up a chair at his side from the corner of my eyes. Hale made an attempt to stand, quickly picking another stool to block the impact Seizhu was going to launch.

Fuck. The teachers would come soon anyway.

I almost sighed in relief when my hands found the paperwork I needed, quickly turning around to leave silently. The worst time of all, my arm knocked against a chair, causing it to fall. It was painfully loud, earning every attention possible from the students.

I was clearly shaking then, forcing myself to pick the chair up. I dared to spare a glance at Seizhu, knowing he must be looking. Our eyes met, and I narrowed my eyes, hoping he would get the hint to stop. I tried to act unbothered, squeezing myself through the crowd to leave the scene. My legs felt like they would give out any moment when I felt their gazes pierce through me.

...

“What were you doing? Why would you start a fight out of nowhere?”

“I’m sorry!” Seizhu said, though it didn’t sound truthful at all. “I couldn’t control my temper, all right? He just fucking –”

“What? Pissed you off so bad you had to send him to the infirmary?”

“Fuck yeah. Fucker keeps talking about you like you were his dream man or something. He needs to learn to back off.”

It stunted me, making me silent for a moment. “That’s it? You didn’t have to –”

“No. He knows we are a thing, do you get it? Then he acts like he’s going to take you away from me any second. What the fuck? How am I supposed to control myself? Just because he’s my friend, I wasn’t going to let that slide!”

“Now you got yourself suspended, was it worth it?”

“You’re not trying to understand me, Vivyn –”

“Wait – wait,” I cut him off. Now that I think about it, I really wasn’t trying to perceive the situation through his perspective. I wanted to understand, I needed to heed his feelings instead of just putting all the faults in him. “I’m grateful for what you’ve done, but I – I don’t want you to get into trouble because of me. You care about your grades, Seizhu. And now I’m just dragging you down –”

“You’re not bringing anybody down,” Seizhu said, putting his hand onto my head, tilting it upward to get a better look of him. “I did this all by myself. It wasn’t your fault. Suspending me isn’t enough to ruin my grades anyway. I’ll have others to tutor me. Besides, I can live just by reading books. The classes are just a waste of time.”

I chuckled even if I felt upset. “You’re better than the professors now, aren’t you? Why bother attending their classes?” My voice was low, as if I wasn’t able to speak all of a sudden now that we were closer.

“To see you? How else are we supposed to meet?”

“In your dorm? I can come to your dorm when the class finishes.”

“I’d miss you too much.”

I felt his fingers rubbing my hair, comfortable enough to put me to sleep. “Hey, seriously. You can – lash out when you really need to, but try to control your temper, will you? Don’t act out of impulse. You need to think thoroughly before you act, or else it wouldn’t do you any good.”

Seizhu laughed, unknowingly pulling my head closer to his. “I won’t,” he said, before tilting his head. Our lips were to meet, before I woke in my bed chamber, back to the palace all over again.

...

“It has been quite a time since I’d seen you, Lord Hikray,” the queen mother said from her throne, while Hikray sat by the chairs below, just the same as the greeting room the lords and ladies would gather every month. 

Hikray nervously laughed. “It has. The lords have been training with the king for the upcoming war. There wasn’t time for me to greet you, my apologies.”

She smiled, taking the cup of tea from her servant who was serving it to her. “Such trouble the enemies are. I remember the time the king and I met them to talk in their palace. Their manners were coarse, and their tempers violent. They would not falter, no matter how gracious the deal we offered – it was the throne they wanted. If I hadn’t been there, should the king have started a clash with them right then. A war is to come, and there is no way to stop them.”

Before Hikray could answer, a lady had walked into the room with a call of the queen mother. It was Lady Prestel. She bowed with her servant, before the queen mother allowed her to sit in the chairs. She took the seat across from Hikray, nodding her head at him before receiving his nod in return. 

“Queen mother,” the lady said. “You called me?”

“I have. Has the king made up his mind about the queen?”

Lady Prestel frowned, as if showing she was just as disappointed as the queen mother. She bowed her head, sighing at her words. “The king is persistent. There will be no queen if you do not approve of Rin.”

Out of the blue, the queen mother tossed her cup of tea to the floor, causing it to splatter everywhere. There were a few gasps, and her servant quickly attempted to calm her. It wasn’t ordinary for the known generous queen mother to be angry, especially lashing out in front of people. 

“How foolish. A war approaches, and yet his thoughts linger on love? Our stronghold is on the brink, and he will not claim a queen to help sustain it? He should know better than anyone to keep his business in priority!”

“Queen mother,” Hikray called. “You must collect yourself. If the king would not listen to us, he should listen to you. Why not try talking to him yourself?”

“A queen would stand beside him now if my words could move him,” she responded harshly, making Hikray and the lady lost for words. “I must see Rin. Get that courtier here in an instant!”

Her guards were quick to move, hailing before leaving in a rush. Now the usual peace was replaced with her anger. The silence was thick as they waited for Rin’s arrival, none of them dared to speak a word. I could feel Hikray regretting coming to greet her, scolding himself that he should’ve found another company as en excuse for his greeting.

The guards returned after what felt like an hour. They bowed to the queen mother before moving to open the curtains of the doorway for the guest to enter. Expecting Rin’s presence, the king was the one to step in instead, with the focal character following behind. The queen mother jolted, unexpecting his arrival.

“You asked to see Rin, queen mother?”

The tension thickened, as if a battle was to begin. Hikray and the lady shared a glance before lowering their heads to avoid watching the scene.

“A matter you wouldn’t like to hear,” she replied.

The king took the seat a few chairs beside Lady Prestel, crossing his legs while Rin took the one across from him after bowing to the queen mother. 

“We’ll finish the talk right now.”