Archive of Our Own ^beta

"Alrighty, one more lap, and we can go over stats… then get to the good part," Shidou, the leader of patrol, spoke with an authority that really, he never should have obtained. But with a certain reckless abandon came its benefits. Who would challenge him?

The last lap went relatively quickly for Rin. He'd always been ahead of people, and well… recent or… not so recent events didn't change that, as much as people may have believed.

Rin could run. Rin would run if it were the last thing he did. He'd fight, he would do whatever if it meant his body was in action. That he wasn't some shadow of the person he used to be. Someone who would be unrecognizable to— 

"First. You all suck." Rin was brought out of his thoughts by Shidou's rather abrupt exclamation.

"Fuck all of you for making me have to care about this part of the job. A handful of you disobeyed curfew. And didn't invite me. So extra fuck all of you."

Rin winced. This wouldn't go well—

"Names. Give them voluntarily."

Everyone remained silent. Rin stared forward, not daring to look down or at Shidou. Anything that would draw any extra attention to him. Shidou was always looking to put Rin through the wringer.

"No one?" Shidou exhaled. Truly, how were they supposed to respect him? They were all practically the same age—

"Tokimitsu."

Everyone groaned. They were all fucked.

Shidou gave two light slaps on Tokimitsu's cheek.

"Names."

"Knock it off, Roach," Rin spoke.

"Oh… Rinrin has something to say?"

Rin paused, but his silence wasn't out of hesitation. If anything, he stared challengingly at Shidou as he made his way over to size Rin up.

"Yeah. I was at the soiree." Rin spoke, trying to take responsibility. Shidou's cheeks puffed in the telltale sign he was about to laugh in Rin's face.

"Everyone heard him say soiree, right? What the fuck?" Shidou was grinning ear to ear.

"Stop pretending like you care if anyone else was there. Okay, I was there."

Shidou pursed his lips and held Rin's stare for what felt like an eternity, but eventually broke eye contact and sighed.

"Okay, so ranking is the following: Rin ranked #1 in our latest physical tests. Patrol status, denied for delinquency."

"Shidou—"

"You're excused until the next evaluation, Rinrin." Shidou gave his fakest polite smile.

Rin's lips lifted as if he were a snarling dog. Then, he removed his gear and threw it at Shidou before storming out.

He was always doing that. It didn't matter what Rin did. He could score perfectly. He could behave perfectly. He could study. He could do everything right, and Shidou would still find a fucking reason to keep him out of patrol.

Fuck Sae!

Fuck Sae for making them meld with Shidou's group to begin with, for making a deal with this stupid fucking ‘Lockport’ town that ran not off of industrial power but the ghost of it. Fuck everyone who exists on the inside of the walls and acts like the outside of them doesn't exist and like the world hadn't gone to shit. Fuck Sae for not having his back, and for making Shidou watch out for him. Shidou wasn't keeping him safe so much as tying him down.

Rin hated him, and he hated Sae.

Although. Not really. He missed Sae. But that's what everyone accused him of whenever he acted even a little bit out of line, which wasn't fair. Rin always acted out of line. He always spoke with an attitude. Just no one ever cared or took notice until Sae died. Then all of a sudden, "Rin was lashing out." But, he didn't change; their perception of him did. Rin had and always would be a little bit of a dick. Fuck them for trying to excuse him on the basis of grief. How tepid. Sae would hate it, for Rin to use him as an excuse for anything. What a fucked up way to remember someone, making them a scapegoat for your own shortcomings.

Though Rin could blame Sae for Shidou. The roach was his brother's fault. Rin would not be dealing with the Shidou if Sae hadn't brought him into their life.

When Rin got to his house, he pulled the door open and kicked off his shoes. He usually would collect them and line them up straight by the door, but fuck that. He was being rebellious, and stray shoes would have to do.

He walked through his living room before briefly stopping in front of Sae's urn that was left on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, as if he could get cold. Rin flipped it off.

"Fuck you."

Rin felt his lips tremble, so he kept it moving and went to the kitchen. Pulling the refrigerator door open, he noticed leftovers he didn't recognize and, feeling spiteful, decided to eat them.

It truly was the little things.

Rin thought back on his evening the night before as he scoffed down the leftovers. He wanted to go out again, to feel like most people or most kids his age. As much as he hated it, he wanted to give in to the propaganda of oblivion. To have the ability to act like for just a night, that the world hadn't ended, while his life managed to continue.

But it wasn't the same. It would have been different had Rin had Sae there, scowling alongside him, asking for them to leave far too soon after their arrival to opt for a quiet night at the park, passing a ball.

There was so much Rin took for granted.

And he knew he couldn't live under Sae's wing forever. Even if fate hadn't cruelly taught him that, Shidou's arrival would've done the job. Because suddenly, it wasn't Rin and Sae anymore — it was Sae and Shidou. And so, Rin had to learn how to share his brother with a psychopath.

It wasn't that Rin didn't have friends. He did. But after Sae died, everything changed—everything except him. Everyone around him seemed to move on, evolve, leave. Sae was gone because he couldn't help his own mortality. Everyone else, because they could afford to be.

The only person Rin could count on to not treat him like he was broken was gone too, not by fate or by choice, just by plain old shit luck.

Not long after Sae's death, Lockport split in two: the red zone and the blue zone.

Some people said it was a breach. Others blamed the power core. But, no one really knew. All Rin could say for certain was that half the town went under emergency lockdown overnight, sealed behind a security wall now called 'the Red Gate.' No one from that side could come over, and no one from his side dared to try.

People whispered, and conspiracies grew.
 Officially, the story was this: There'd been a leak, minimal casualties, nothing of concern— but the town's geothermal plant had shorted out during the event. This caused a massive blackout and created a 'dead zone' in the middle of Lockport —the ‘red zone.’ Whether the issue was radiation, poison, or infection — take your pick. Rin bugged Shidou endlessly about it, but since Rin wasn't on patrol, he was as good as any other ignorant civilian. But, Shidou insisted they were working on a safe corridor to evacuate the other side; they just needed time to clear a path.

But with people being people — or in other words, assholes — the Blue Zone started panicking. And fear works faster and louder. Even if the Red Zone wasn't contaminated, they said, bringing those people over would stretch resources too thin. If they couldn't block the reunion with science, they'd do it with propaganda. With hate.

The town wasn't just being split by a wall, it was being split by identity.

And that's what made it so, so cruel. Because the one person Rin still trusted, the one person who saw him for him, was on the wrong side of the Red Gate:

Bachira Meguru.

The two had been separated the night the schism happened. And since then, Rin's world had only gotten smaller.

"Honey, I'm homeeeee!"

Yet somehow, not small enough. Rin sighed as he shoved as much of the leftovers in his mouth before Shidou made it to the kitchen.

"Stop doing that. It's weird." He spoke, mouth full.

Shidou was holding the urn. Nothing pissed Rin off more than seeing the way Shidou spoke to it. The way he dragged it around with him like it was in any way, shape, or form, still Sae.

"Stop what? Loving my husband? No can do, Rinrin."

"You never made it down the aisle. And Sae's not here, so you're not anything."

Shidou let those words land, and his face pulled back in distaste for the younger Itoshi before letting himself laugh it off, brittle and sharp.

"So then he's not your brother anymore either? Since he passed? I have that right?"

Rin's grip on his chopsticks tightened until his knuckles turned white.

"And I don't love him anymore?" Shidou said, voice razor-flat. "Because he's dead. And the moment his heart stopped, shackles broke! Did you know love dies with the body, too? That's what family is: a leash you can chew through once the person holding it drops."

Rin didn't speak. His mouth was half-open, as if any remark was gobsmacked out of him.

Shidou scoffed. "That's what I fucking thought. Now shut up and give me back my food."

He plucked his own chopsticks from the table and dragged the plate from Rin's side with all the reverence of someone reclaiming what was already his.

Then he reached for Sae's urn. He placed it carefully on the chair beside him, like it was a dinner guest.

Rin watched through a scowl sharp enough to cut.

Shidou lifted his chopsticks in a mock salute. "Cheers, babe," he murmured.

And suddenly, Rin was back— back in that chapel, back in that unbearable stillness.

The day of Sae's viewing was humid. There were far too many people, not enough air. And still, somehow, nothing moved. The silence was deafening. Rin swore that if he listened hard enough, he could hear Sae's cells breaking down, his body decomposing in the quiet.

Bachira sat next to him, the only person Rin could stand to be near. He had a knack for breaking silences without ever saying the wrong thing. He never told Rin he was sorry, never asked if there was anything he could do, never told him it would get easier with time. He spoke to Rin, like he always did, and he didn't ask if Rin needed someone in his corner; he was just there for him. Even now, he sat beside Rin, knowing damn well this was the worst day of his life. He even honored the silence that was so foreign to him, and only shot Rin a few side glances since their arrival at the viewing.

Then the door creaked open, and in walked Shidou.

He didn't look at the crowd; he didn't scan the room for pity. He walked straight towards Sae's coffin—the one spot that no one else dared to look too long at. Maybe it was because Sae was young. Maybe it was because he had died serving them. Or maybe it was because it was Sae, someone so brilliant and untouchable, it was a reminder that even the invincible can fall.

Shidou dressed in a white suit trimmed with pink. Nothing anyone would dream of wearing to a funeral. It was the type of suit that screamed rebirth. He was dressed as if he hadn't just lost his future, as if he were still headed to the altar.

And he was. In his own devastating way.

Shidou stopped at the casket and reached out with a trembling hand. He brushed Sae's hair back like it still mattered. The sob he let out was swallowed, half-strangled, but echoed loud in that breathless chapel.

People looked on with sorrow at the sight.

Then he pulled something from his pocket. He spoke so softly, barely louder than a whisper, but the silence bent around him. Shidou Ryusei, caught in prayer, was a strange sight to behold, the known atheist that he was. But it wasn't prayer.

"I, Shidou Ryusei," he began, voice trembling, "take you, Itoshi Sae, to be my husband."

A collective inhale cut the air, as people realized just what he was saying.

"As you are. As you were. As you never got the chance to be." He choked, continuously brushing the hair back on his deceased fiancée.

A few people whispered; others stared, pointed, caught between reverence, surprise, sympathy, and heartache.

It was no longer a funeral, but the world's most fucked up wedding. A horrid mix of both. A promise turned requiem.

Bachira's eyes widened, and he crushed Rin's hand in his. Rin didn't feel it. He couldn't. He just watched as Shidou lifted Sae's cold hand and slipped a ring onto his finger—and spoke the words that were meant to be exchanged rather than monologued, in this very chapel, if Sae had managed to live for just a few weeks more.

No one in the chapel moved.

"I do. And I will. Even here, even in death, my beloved genius. I was, am, and forever will be yours."

"I do," Shidou whispered again, forehead pressed against Sae's frozen temple.

Rin had hated him for it. And how evident it was that he meant every word, as he delicately kissed Sae's forehead.

Rin ripped his hand away from Bachira's and stormed out of the chapel.

The clutter of a cup on the table brought Rin back, not any more forgiving.

"I meant technically, it takes two people to get married." Rin spat. "He never got married. It was one-sided, and you forced it—"

Shidou didn't look at him, just exhaled like he'd heard it all before. Sarcastically, with food in his mouth: "Yeah, Rin, you're right. The only place Sae-chan would have said yes to me was his funeral. That's why we were engaged."

"Well, he could have changed his mind."

"Well, he didn't. And he wouldn't have. Let it go." Shidou waved Rin off in favor of eating his food.

"I can't. You married him at his fucking funeral. It's like nothing can not be about you for four seconds."

Shidou's eyes flicked up, slow and surgical.

"It was entirely about him, Rin." And within a second, his bitterness was getting the better of him. "And it wasn't weird, it was beautiful. Folks say I cured old man Nishimura's homophobia."

"Yeah, well, it was so disgusting it instilled mine."

Shidou leaned over the counter with a shit-eating grin, "Nice try. No one's buying that from your gay ass."

Rin frowned.

"Fuck you. You're gayer."

"Oh? Why, 'cause I kiss more boys than you?"

"Yeah."

"Not the insult you think it is, Rinrin."

"Okay, well—your husband's dead. So you can't kiss anyone ever again."

Shidou blinked. "But by your logic, I'm not allowed to be sad about that. So fuck you. Your brother's dead."

Rin stood so fast his chair screeched. "Do you ever shut up?"

There was a beat.

Then Shidou pushed back from where he was leaning over the table. “Y’know, it really doesn’t work—when we do that.” He sighed deeply, because how could anyone win when they were both taunting each other with the same deceased loved one?

"Shut up." Rin stood to storm to his room.

Shidou interrupted him. "Wait, Rin, one more thing."

It sounded genuine, so Rin, against his better judgment, stopped and looked at Shidou. Shidou then lifted his leg and farted. Rin groaned,

"Are you fucking twelve?" Rin stormed out, but not before Shidou yelled after him:

"Rest up, Rinrin!"

He left the kitchen, footsteps creaking down the hall. He slammed the door—not that Shidou particularly cared. And if there was one thing that pissed Rin off to no end, it was the fact that it was nearly impossible for him to grind Shidou’s gears.

Honestly, Rin wasn't sure how he did it, how he lived in this weird delusion that their current state of being was in any way, shape, or form, okay.

It was probably worse for Rin. Shidou could at least distract himself with roles, with work, and with goals. He could even fall in love again. Shidou could take Sae's dumb fucking ashes with him to court and divorce him as unceremoniously as he married him.

But Rin couldn't replace his brother. When you lose a sibling, they're gone. It's not a role that anyone can replace, leave, or fill at will. Either they exist or they don't. And then, of course, the dumb fucking fact that Rin was being held back by a glass ceiling in the form of his pseudo brother-in-law.

He still wouldn't give Shidou the satisfaction. As long as Shidou was sabotaging Rin's ability to move up in the guard, he wouldn't see eye to eye with him.

Rin sighed and plopped down on his bed. Fuck everything.

He grabbed a tennis ball and began bouncing it off his wall. Sae used to get so mad at him when he did this. It was a nervous habit, but the sound irritated Sae. Rin felt his frown deepening, and he threw the ball with more force, as if a harder impact would will Sae back to the living to kick his door open and yell at him.

He miscalculated his throw, and so the ball rolled out of his reach.

That's how life was recently, huh? Everything, everyone, just out of Rin's reach.

He heard a light tap at his window. Rin barely turned his head. It was light, but there, like a stink bug flew at it at full speed.

He exhaled before pulling himself up to grab the ball.

There was another tap, louder this time. Rin froze, keeping his distance from the window. He gripped the ball in his hand, as if he could do damage with a mere tennis ball.

He inched closer and closer before a face suddenly popped up in the window frame.

"Boo!"

Rin jumped back, shuffling backwards on the floor.

Bachira.

"Since when do you have a screen?" He was putting his hand on it, trying to push inwards.

Rin sighed in frustration before getting on his feet and meeting Bachira at the window.

"Quit pushing, it's locked on." Rin reached for the locks to toggle the screen off. "And I always had a screen; you've never come through the window before."

He pulled the screen off, and Bachira hopped into the room before tackling Rin into a hug.

"Miss me?"

"No." Rin lied. "How are you here?"

"Lower your voice," Bachira said immediately.

"Why?" Rin hated the way that he had instinctively listened to the shorter man.

"Because I'm not supposed to be here."

"Obviously, but –"

"I made it all the way here with no hiccups, Rin-chan. I can't afford to have Shidou hear me." Bachira nodded to the wall that Rin was throwing the ball against. "Is he asleep?"

"Not yet. But he sleeps downstairs now, so it's fine."

"Huh? Why?"

"Beats me."

Bachira frowned, as if mulling it over. Then, "Are you busy right now?"

"Obviously not."

"Perfect. Come with me."

"Go with you where?"

"Out."

"Specific."

"It's a surprise."

"Has time made you stupid? I hate surprises, Bob-cut."

"Oh, I must have confused you with Isagi."

Rin scowled before correcting his face into something more neutral. Bachira laughed.

"How is he?"

Bachira suddenly soured, as if the joke was a jug of milk with an expiration date, and he stupidly took a swig.

"I don't know," Bachira said, too quickly. Rin barely had time to press before he added, like it was casual: "What do you know about the Red Gate?"

"Practically nothing. Just that they're trying to find a way to get you guys over here. Speaking of, how did you get over here?"

"Easy. I left." Bachira smiled at Rin, as if coercing him to stop asking the difficult questions. He continued anyway.

"I don't think they're coming for us, Rin-chan." His voice dipped low, "It's bad over there."

Rin stayed silent, waiting.

"First, it was a breach in the infected zone, a few fenders got out. They called it 'contained,' but it wasn't. Then the generator failed— no lights, no heat, no comms. And suddenly, no one can fix it. Which sounds like bullshit, right?"

Rin clenched his jaw. He didn't want to agree.

"Because it is. The infected part of the population isn't under control, because whatever poison in the air is suppressing the symptoms. So, people get bitten and can go a few days without turning into a fender. People being people, they lie. Everyone thinks they're the exception and that they'll somehow recover. So, it's just a matter of leave or wait until we start gunning each other down or get overrun by hidden infected."

Rin turned harshly.

"What do you mean suppressi—"

"So, a handful of us left. I was with Isagi, but I got separated. Run in with the infected. He should be okay."

“You had a run in?”

Bachira gave a single nod.

Rin’s voice dropped. “Did any of them do the repetition thing?”

“The… what?”

“You know,” Rin said. “Newly turned fenders, they start saying their last words over and over. Before their throat gives out. Or when they eat—” he hesitated, “—their jaw dislocates to take a bite, and they lose the ability to speak after that.”

Bachira squinted at him. “You’re so morbid, Rin-chan. They were too far along, they just made hacking sounds.”

Rin swallowed. "You're okay?"

"Easier to slip out if you're just one person." Bachira smiled simply at Rin. "Now, two people? Can't be that much harder."

"Where are we going? The park?"

"No, it's better. You'll have to trust me."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because you miss me and life has been so so boring without me!" And the way Bachira was smiling at him, Rin knew he could sigh, avert his gaze all he wanted, but that he was in the palm of the shorter one's hand.

He didn't even need to respond, Bachira being fluent in Rin's silences and baited breaths.

"Where are your shoes?"

Rin looked around his room before sighing.

"Downstairs. I'll go get them."

"What about Shidou?"

"He can fuck off. He denied me for patrol again today, and he's not my fucking brothe—my parent or whatever." Rin grabbed a bag and started stuffing it with his usual belongings. Water, weapons, and anything they might need while sneaking out. Which, Rin assumed they'd be doing with Bachira's track record. He pushed the bag into Bachira's hands and walked towards his door.

"Meet me downstairs."

Bachira smiled mischievously before saluting and picking up his own bag.

Rin sighed, as if mentally prepping himself for an interrogation.

He walked downstairs, and Shidou was sprawled out on the couch, with a blanket over him, cuddling Sae's urn against his chest.

"The lamp over there is looking pretty neglected these days if you wanna go make out with that," Rin spoke.

"That's cheating, dipshit."

Rin huffed. He hated how Shidou just fucking took it. He hated how he was lovingly circling his thumb on the urn.

Rin picked up his shoes and started lacing up.

"Where are you going?"

"Out."

"Curfew hits in 30 minutes."

"So I have 30 minutes. Fuck off, roach. Not like curfew matters anyway since I have to wait now to reapply for patrol."

"Whose fault is that?"

"Yours."

Rin swung the door open and didn't wait for a response.

Bachira was ducked behind some bushes waiting for him. Rin walked over casually. Bachira tumbled out and threw a peace sign at Rin.

"It's not that serious."

"We don't know that. Someone might recognize me."

"They'd probably just think you were always on this side and that they haven't seen you for a while."

"I'll have you know, Rin-chan, I am a missed presence."

Bachira pulled a baseball cap out of his back pocket and put it on, then pulled up his hood.

"I have an extra for you." He turned to grab it from his backpack.

"I live here, I don't have to do that bullshit until we get to the wall."

"Fine. No fun."

Rin wacked Bachira's hat off his head and walked ahead of him. He didn't know where Bachira was taking him, but one thing never did change, and that was the place where he, Bachira, and others used to sneak out at night to get to the park.

They walked through the town with no fanfare, despite Bachira acting as sketchy and out of place as humanly possible.

The second they reached the fence, they threw their bags over like second nature and began moving the rocks that formed a makeshift seal in the hole. Bachira held a rock in his hand and then put it in his pocket.

Rin raised an eyebrow at Bachira, who winked back at him. "For the memory of it."

"Lukewarm."

Bachira laughed and slid under the fence, and Rin followed shortly after, struggling only slightly.

"Grow any more, Rin-chan, you'll be fenced in forever."

"Shut it."

The two of them moved the rocks back, and as soon as they were able, Bachira was back on both feet and held out his hand to pull Rin up. Rin took it, and immediately Bachira pulled him along.

Rin looked down at their hands and how Bachira hadn't dropped them yet. Bachira looked back at Rin ever so slightly, concealing a smile.

He moved his hands to interlock his fingers with Rin's, and Rin said nothing of the gesture, as if acknowledging it might remind Bachira that this was a boundary they had not crossed, not since Sae's death, when Bachira had held Rin's hand to ground him.

Bachira jogged along, an expert at the spots. Rin knew the area well enough, what with his past of sneaking out with Bachira and co, but since the destination was a surprise, he had to follow Bachira's lead.

They walked for a while before ending up outside a liquor store. Bachira released Rin's hand.

"I promise this is not our destination, but a pit stop."

Bachira opened up the door and looked around.

"Looks clear."

Rin looked at him like he was insane.

"Do a proper job of it, come on."

Bachira rolled his eyes, and the two of them began their stealth walk through the aisles.

"It's quiet."

"Quiet doesn't mean safe, you know that."

"Such a hassle."

"Shut up."

"Okay, clear."

"Same."

"What are we drinking, Rin-chan?"

Rin looked around. "Huh?"

"Haven't you ever wanted to try it?"

"Not particularly."

"Really?" Bachira looked surprised.

"Do you wanna try it?"

"Of course. I don't want to die without doing the big things, ya know."

"We've got time," Rin spoke quietly, and Bachira turned away from him.

"Humor me. Should we do… whiskey? That's a real manly man drink."

"Are you a real manly man?" Rin was holding back his smile.

“Check out these guns.” Bachira lifted his sleeves and flexed. Rin failed a little more at hiding his smile.

“Speaking of guns,” Bachira said, dropping to one knee and swinging his backpack around. "Check this out." And, again, as if it were casual, he took out a pistol. Rin's eyes widened.

"Why do you have that?"

"Why not?"

"It's…they're dangerous. Are you even properly trained?"

"Can't be that hard."

Bachira pulled it up, like he was in an action movie, and started making "pew pew" noises.

"Cut it out, you could hurt someone. Or yourself."

Bachira let the gun slacken in his hold, his finger by the trigger being the only thing holding it.

"True. You should take it, you're more responsible."

"I don't want it."

"Well, I'm not gonna leave it here. We don't know who could fall onto it. Take it."

Bachira nudged it towards Rin.

"It's a present~ it's rude to say no."

"It's a shitty present."

"I'm offended, Rin-chan!"

Rin sighed and took the gun from him.

Immediately, he removed the cartridge and unloaded the bullets.

"Did you even know it was loaded?"

"Nope." Bachira was giggling as Rin handled the gun like it was a dirty diaper, concealing it in his own bag and dropping the bullets loosely in his pocket.

"Okay, so what are we drinking?"

Bachira began walking away to look at the different options.

"I don't care."

"Well, how are you feeling? Do we do… liquor? A beer?"

"Beer can expire."

"Oh… so you have been interested in it before? Weewoo weewooo underaged drinker!"

"It's common knowledge, idiot. And we're not underage anymore."

Bachira's face lit up.

"Champagne!"

"What are we celebrating?"

"Mm. I'm sure we can find something."

Bachira smiled at him like he knew an answer to something. Rin decided not to question it.

"Which one should we get?" Rin decided to humor him, since apparently, there was no getting out of this.

Bachira scanned over the shelf. "I don't know what any of this means… BUT this one's label is ALMOST the color of your eyes. So it must be good."

Rin felt himself blush a little. He looked back at the shelf and picked up one with a yellow label.

"Then I choose this one."

"Two bottles? We're getting our stomachs pumped!"

Rin shoved Bachira and then bent down to put the bottle in his bag. Bachira followed in suit.

"Ready, Rin-chan?"

"Yup."

They stepped out into the dusk. The light had thinned, blanketing the town in a darkness the two were quite acquainted with. Bachira looked both ways, a silly habit in a dead city, but Rin found it strangely comforting.

Rin pursed his lips and hesitated for a second before reaching down and grabbing his hand. He couldn't look at Bachira, but he could feel his eyes on him, and that smile, that he knew so well, was plastered on his face. He could feel it, without seeing it. He always could with Bachira.

He felt the fingers adjust, interlock. A perfect fit, like puzzle pieces that had been waiting. They always would wait for each other, even if it was never spoken. It was a promise whispered in the whistles of night, the rustles of branches, and the crunches of paths the two had walked together.

Rin gave a gentle squeeze. Bachira answered by tugging him forward.

The world was quiet save for the gravel beneath their boots and wind curling through broken windows, distant and wrong, like a whistle warped by time.

“What are you gonna do tonight?” Rin asked. “After. Are you… can you go back?”

 “Mmm. I’ll be okay.”

 “That’s not an answer, Meg— Bachi.”

 “Call me Meguru,” Bachira said softly. “You know it’s okay.”

 Rin did. And still, it made his chest flutter.

“I might go back,” Bachira said. “I might not.”

 “How are you gonna sneak in?”

 “Same way I snuck out. Don’t worry. I’ve done it a million times. There’s barely any security now. No one cares about us.”

Rin frowned. “Is that real? What you said — about the infected not showing symptoms right away?”

“Mhm.”

“Then that means… couldn’t there be a cure? Or a vaccine that lessens the spread?”

“Maybe. I don’t know science. But no one seems to be looking into it, so… dead end, probably.”

Rin slowed. “We could take you back to the Blue Side. You could tell them.”

Bachira gave a short, bitter laugh.

“They already know, Rin. They don’t care.”

“For a cure? No fucking way.”

“Rin-chan.”

“They should be doing everything right now to figure this out.”

Bachira stopped walking and turned.
“We’re here.”

Rin blinked.
“…The mall?”

Bachira was looking at it lovingly, as if it were an image from a dream.
“It was so big. People would just pass by people they didn’t know all the time. And they wouldn’t try to kill them. They wouldn’t try to get to know them either. Just pass each other by, like their existences didn’t matter.

Or maybe that’s morbid. Maybe it’s nice that not everything has to be something. Not every person has to be your neighbor or your enemy. Some of us are just meant to exist as floating dots on an endless timeline.”

"Coexistence."

"That's it, Rin-chan!"

"Coexistence is lame.”

"Of course you'd say that."

"Why's that?"

"Because you love making everyone your enemy. If you can't hate the person next to you, you'll implode." Bachira flicked Rin's forehead.

"Knock it off." A silence settled, but only momentarily, before Rin decided to speak. "I don't hate you."

"Well, yeah." Bachira laughed in a way that felt like he was keeping Rin outside of an inside joke.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Rin jabbed at Bachira. "Not nothing. What is it, bob-cut?"

Bachira squealed. "Knock it off, Rin-chan. I'll laugh so hard I'll attract a fender. Or army."

"Let's go!" Bachira broke into a sprint, tugging Rin behind him.

"Isn't it dangerous?"


"Initially, when the outbreak first occurred, they wanted the mall to serve as an evac zone. But—too many exits, too open, it was impossible to secure. So, it became a no-go. But, I was on my nightly stroll one night, and check what I found."

He skidded to a stop in front of a dusty display window. There, etched in white paint, was a sigil. A scavenger's mark. Clear.

"It's clear." Bachira’s eyes widened, crazy and excited.

"It's old. We don't know if it's still clear."

"Well, I threw a firework inside and waited, and nothing showed up. So we're golden." 

"This door's a no-go," he added. "We go up."


Rin tilted his head. "You climbed that? Alone?"


"No."


"You're lying."


"Yes."

"Don't do that, Meguru. You could get hurt."


"I'll have you know I've gotten a lot better. Watch."

Sure enough, Bachira began his climb: no rope, no hesitation, just hands and good ol' fashioned momentum. At the top, he hoisted himself up and bowed theatrically.


"I'll accept your applause now."


"Don't hold your breath."

Rin followed. Slower, but steady. At the top, Bachira offered his hand again. Rin took it.

They stood together on the rooftop, the wind tousling their hair, tugging at their sleeves.

Bachira led him to the roof access door, where a chain hung limp and broken.
Rin’s eyes worried in concern, "Bach—"


"It was me," Bachira said quickly. "Don't worry. I stopped immediately after. Saved the exploring for when you could come too."

Bachira walked past Rin and towards the door that led them to the top of the mall. They were met with what appeared to be a power room. Since the town had likely installed solar panels before or after the outbreak, the control switch was closer to the top.

Bachira whipped open doors, all corroded with age. Rin fought the urge to grab him and tell him to leave.

"This, Rin-chan, is the grand reveal." Bachira pulled on a lever, and the two of them stood in darkness. It felt like nothing happened, and it was quite frankly hard not to laugh at Bachira, but after a moment, the machinery whirred to life, meaning something had powered on.

Bachira grabbed Rin’s arm and pulled him forward to look out over the mall. Rin could feel Bachira’s smile before he even saw it, and that alone was enough to build the wishful suspense of a beautiful sight.

But then Bachira’s smile faltered, and following his eyeline, Rin understood why. The mall was a patchwork of flickering lights, some stores glowing in broken, uneven bursts. Bachira had been expecting a state-fair–style grand reveal, but instead got what could only be described as eerie, winking backrooms.

"Boooo."

"It's…" Rin tried to sound hopeful, but he didn't have a plan on how to end that sentence.

Bachira's interest was piqued.

"It's???"

"It's… cool."

Bachira groaned, "I wasn't going for cool. I was going for amazing. Grand. Romantic."

"Huh?" Rin's eyes widened, almost questioning if Bachira had meant to say that.

"Huh?" Bachira mimicked, as if answering: Obviously, I mean it.

Rin could feel his face burning up. Luckily, Bachira had a knack for saying things that flustered Rin and then running away from them.

"Let's go."

With that, the two boys began their trip through the mall. Bachira's goal was to make his way over to the other side, which seemed to have more lights, but on the way over, they noticed the escalators were running.

“Rin-chan!” Bachira grabbed his hand and yanked him over. Rin glanced at the stairs, then back at Bachira, then back at the stairs again, as if trying to reason out why escalators should matter to him.

"What?"

"They're working!"

"They are. Have you never seen escalators?"

"Of course I've seen escalators! I miss them." Bachira dropped Rin's hands and ran to the stairs, very dramatically demonstrating the task of standing while descending a singular floor.

"Huh! Huh?" Bachira spoke, as if prompting Rin to be impressed.

Rin stood at the top and looked down at Bachira as he made his way down.

"Out of everything in the world to miss, you choose not doing the stairs?"

"What can I say, I miss being lazy." Bachira stuck out his tongue and then turned around to get off the escalator.

"Stay right there!" Bachira ran to the other one and began his ascent up to meet Rin. Rin, jokingly, began to push the belt back, which didn't do anything, but the gesture was still enough to offend Bachira.

"Rin-chan! Did you not miss me?"

“Not even a little, Bob-cut. Stay down.” Bachira broke into a light trot, weaving up the escalator with exaggerated determination.

Rin hopped onto the other escalator, gliding downward, and caught Bachira’s gaze. Bachira froze mid-step, staring accusatory at him across the dividing gap.

They held ridiculously serious faces, Rin teetering on the edge of a laugh while Bachira managed to keep his composure—barely. As they passed each other, perfectly in sync, they flipped each other off. That small act shattered Bachira, who burst into hysterical laughter, while Rin’s lip twitched in amusement.

Not missing a beat, Bachira bolted up the escalator again, and Rin sprinted downward, trying to escape the older boy.

"You stay where you are, Itoshi Rin!"

"Nope!" The two did about one and a half laps, and when Rin was on the downwards escalator, Bachira got the brilliant idea of running up to try to meet Rin in the middle.

Rin scrambled back up, yelling over his shoulder, “You know this defeats the whole lazy part of the escalator!”

“You’re the one being difficult,” Bachira cooed, grinning like a kid who had just won at a game no one else was playing.

At this, Rin stopped, letting himself descend as Bachira still hopped against the current of the escalator to try to meet Rin. He was so close, and laughing as if Rin had truly been caught, when fate rudely decided to make Bachira trip.

Rin tried to catch him to break his fall, but Bachira had fallen so sloppily that he brought Rin down with him. Bachira was a heaping mess now, and Rin couldn't help but feel elated at the vibrations of Bachira laughing against him. His hands almost closed around Bachira when Bachira seemingly realized the end was in sight. Clinging onto Rin harder, he yelled, "Rin-chan! Help! Help! Save us!!!" Rin looked over Bachira to see the end of the escalator.

"Calm dow—"

"HELP!"

In a quick motion, Rin managed to gain his footing and scoop Bachira so they could hop over the end of the escalator belt without meeting their demise, or simply a bump, but Rin could humor Bachira's dramatics slightly. Bachira clapped for Rin, and Rin just walked ahead of him, as if willing Bachira to leave the escalators behind.

Bachira jogged to catch up to them, but he didn't make it far.

"Wait, Rin-chan, slow down! Look!"

Rin walked ahead because he wanted to check out a lit store, but Bachira stopped them.

Rin swayed his movements and made his way back next to Bachira. He looked at the store in front of them.

"What?"

Bachira smiled at him and squinted, like he was imagining something.

"A Hollister?" Rin cocked his head.

"You would have made a to die for Hollister model."

Rin's face screwed up as he looked at Bachira in disbelief.

"No way, I'd never do that."

"You know, apparently they used to have a shirtless guy stand outside… although I think that was in major cities."

"It's fucking weird."

Bachira moved in front of the store and bit his lip as he lifted his shirt.

"Hey, chica… wanna sniff of one of our colognes? I know you can smell it from there, but come over and smell it from here." Bachira winked at Rin.

"What the fuck does that even mean?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out." Bachira wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at Rin. Rin stared at him blankly, and Bachira stared right back, holding his pose. The two were in quite a strange standstill. Eventually, Bachira broke it, dropping his shirt back down and turning to the door.

The door opened, and Rin followed him inside. The two of their noses bunched up.

"I'm not surprised this smell survived the apocalypse."

"Me neither."

Bachira ran through the store, seemingly in search of something. He stopped in front of the cologne display, and Rin couldn’t help but seriously judge him. Then, on top of judging Bachira, he started judging himself—for still choosing to associate with someone who, at the end of the world, would go out of their way to shop at Hollister for cologne.

"What are you doing?"

"Souvenir."

"Bad choice. The infected, or any enemy, will smell you from a mile away."

"It's not for me."

Rin cocked his head. "Who?"

Bachira tossed the bottle and Rin side-stepped it. It shattered on the floor next to him, and the two of them stared down at the puddle of scent with faint smiles.

"Nice catch."

"Nice dodge." Rin corrected. "Were you giving it to me?"

"To give to Shidou."

Rin winced, "Oh god."

"You see it, right?"

"He's so the type to do it." Rin shuddered at the thought. "He'd definitely be the guy outside luring women in."

"He'd get fired the second Sae walked past."

"Ugh."

"What?"

"It's hard to respect Sae whenever I remember he let himself fall for Shidou."

"They're cute."

"No, they weren't. They were annoying."

"Sweet." Bachira corrected. 

Rin would’ve had a dozen more insults ready, but Bachira had already crouched down beside the puddle of cologne.

"Do you think it’s flammable?" he asked, fishing a lighter out of his pocket.

"I think it’d be nuclear. Put that away."

"Maybe we grab a bottle? Use as a Molotov cocktail. I always wanted to do one of those."

"Well, we have no reason to."

"Speaking of cocktails!" Bachira reached for their champagne, but Rin stopped them.

"We're not drinking in a Hollister, I feel like we'll just taste the cologne."

"Fineeee. We'll leave."

Bachira stomped his way back over to the exit and stopped to turn at Rin the second he went out.

"Keep moving, Bobcut. The smell is still in my nostrils."

The two walked a little further, their footsteps echoing in the mall. Dust floated in the air like lazy snow. Every store they passed was like a time capsule, frozen mannequins still smiling in clothes long out of style, paper sale signs sagging beneath years of grime.

Every so often, Rin lagged behind, peering through smeared glass into a game shop or video store, curiosity tugging at him despite the decay. It struck him as strange that Bachira, of all people, didn’t slow down once. No commentary, no playful detour. Just silence and steady footsteps.

Rin’s brow furrowed. He watched the back of Bachira’s head tilt this way and that, as if scanning for something only he could sense. Just as Rin’s suspicion began to rise, Bachira suddenly spun on his heel, his grin cutting through the dim corridor.

"How about now?"

Rin sighed. "Sure."

The two swung their backpacks to the front of their bodies and dug for their respective bottles of champagne.

Bachira put his on the floor, and then continued digging into his backpack. Rin grabbed his and began to pull at the packaging around the neck of the bottle. When he got it free, he looked at the top and sighed.

"Meg… we didn't think this through."

"Huh?"

"Cork."

"Fret not, dear Rin-chan. As your elder, I have thought of it all." Bachira then produced a corkscrew from his backpack.

"When did you get that?"

"I brought it with me from the beginning."

Rin nodded, trying to be grateful, but then the thought crept in anyway. If Bachira had a corkscrew since the beginning, then he hadn’t come here to see Rin. He was supposed to be with Isagi. Which meant that if this whole champagne idea was part of some plan, Rin wasn’t Bachira’s original choice—it was Isagi.

The realization curdled in his stomach. His jaw tightened before he even realized he was scowling. It felt like everything in his life was never actually his. He could have his brother in his corner, but only until Shidou came along. He could work for a place on patrol, but he couldn’t actually attain it. And now, not even this. Even when he thought he had something, someone, to call his own, he had to face it: Rin was only here because Isagi wasn’t.

"What's wrong, Rin-chan? Sad that I am so much more smarter and prepared than you? Wiseness comes with age, ya-know?"

"Wiseness isn't even a word."

"Then why do you know what I mean?"

"It's wisdom, idiot."

"Okay, well, wiseness brought us a bottle opener and wisdom didn't, what do you have to say to that?"

Rin huffed. "Why did you bring a bottle opener?"

Bachira blinked at him and gave him an incredulous look. "Did you hit your head? For the impasse in your hands. Hand it over."

"No, but… You weren't planning on drinking. You were escaping with Isagi or something. So why did you bring a bottle opener? Was this a part of your plan? With Isagi?"

Bachira's eyes widened a bit. He didn't answer; he just reached out, grabbed the bottle from Rin's hands, and got to work unscrewing it.

Rin was looking at him, at the floor, and around the area, and it was tough to be grateful when it was evident he was Bachira's second choice.

Bachira finally got the cork out and slid it to Rin. Rin slid it back and then looked at a wall, the only kind of rebellion he could muster at this particular moment.

Bachira smiled ever so slightly because it was clear that Rin was jealous.

"Rin-chan?"

"What?"

"I lied."

"Huh?"

"I lied. I wasn't with Isagi. I just left."

Rin looked at him again, square on this time.

"I… I wanted to… come see you. And it couldn't wait. I just said the Isagi thing so you wouldn't get mad that I did it alone."

Rin stayed looking at him, and Bachira was looking at the floor at this point. Finally, taking a second to accept Bachira's truce, Rin slid the bottle back over to him.

"I wouldn't have been mad."

"I just… wanted to skip the lecture and worried part and get to the fun part."

Rin did a single nod, not really sure how to take the lecture part. It seemed Bachira had just wanted a night to be free, to be normal, and he didn't want any two cents from Rin. So, being appeased that Isagi was never a part of the equation, Rin could continue.

"Fine." Rin nodded over at Bachira's champagne bottle, and Bachira, following his eyeline, grabbed the bottle and began unscrewing it too. Once they had that one opened, Rin lifted his bottle and Bachira lifted his, and they clanked necks.

"Cheers." Bachira smiled.

Rin gave the quickest twitch of a smile and then drank from his bottle. The first sip fizzed softly against his tongue—sweet, a little sour, the taste somewhere between flat champagne and fermented fruit. The carbonization was surprisingly intact.

Bachira was sputtering his out. "Oh God."

Rin laughed. "What? It's bad?"

"Kind of… Is yours bad?"

"No, mine's fine."

"Lemme try!"

Rin handed his out and nodded for Bachira to give him his. The two traded their bottles and took a sip.

Bachira's eyes lit up when he tasted Rin's, and Rin spat his out.

"Give it back."

"No," Bachira was cuddling the bottle, defending it in his corner.

"This tastes like vinegar; I need to wash it down."

"You promise you're not gonna run away with it?"

"Obviously, I'm not going to run away with it."

"We can share it?"

"We can share it. Now give."

Bachira barely handed over the bottle before Rin pried it from his hands and swigged it down to wash away the vinegar taste. Then, to not play on Bachira's trust, Rin handed the bottle back.

"What do you think it was like?" Bachira asked.

"What?"

"Just like going on a date and drinking champagne with someone."

"Eh… I don't know."

"You don't think about that?"

"Not really."

“Hm… I wish I could’ve experienced it,” Bachira said dreamily. “Imagine going to a restaurant with white tablecloths or something. You’re sitting across from someone you love, looking at a menu together. And we somehow understand the champagne choices. I say, ‘this one looks good,’ and you go, ‘I think this one looks better,’ and maybe there’s a third one that’s a mix of both—so we order that one.

Then we eat dinner. And we hold hands, and we look at each other, and nothing in the world is the matter. Or maybe it is, but it doesn't matter all that much in the long run. It’s not life or death. It’s just… something small enough that you can forget about it for a little while, just by being with your person.”

Rin’s face was burning. He couldn’t ignore the way Bachira’s “someone special” had quietly shifted into him.

“I think…” Rin’s heart thudded against his ribs. “I think it sounds nice. Maybe one day. Who knows? It’s idealistic, sure, but who’s to say they won’t find a cure in our lifetime? Or that… civilization won’t rebuild into something that feels normal again. A candlelit dinner sounds impossible now, but look how far Lockport’s come already. Maybe in ten or twenty years… we’ll get there.”

Bachira looked sad. He was wearing a face, as if Rin had missed the point entirely, and Rin wasn't entirely sure why.

"You okay?" Rin said after Bachira remained quiet for a bit too long.

"Yeah," Bachira said, exhaling, like shaking a thought. "I just… wish it could be sooner."

Rin nodded along to that, and then took a swig from the champagne. He lifted it back to Bachira, who seemingly needed to consider it for a moment before taking it and swigging from it.

Rin took the bottle back and began to put it in his backpack.

"What are you doing?"

"Taking initiative. We're going to the lit-up part of the mall, no distractions from you."

"Fine… but we're not done with the champagne."

"Don't be an alcoholic."

"Too late."

Rin got up and reached his hand out to Bachira. Bachira got up and tried to release Rin's hand, but Rin just tugged him closer.

"Come on."

"My backpack."

"Oh."

Bachira couldn't help the little giggle that came out as he leaned down and put the corkscrew away. "I'm leaving my bottle behind, it's atrocious."

He then swung his backpack over his back and reached his hand out for Rin to take.

"Let's go."

The two of them walked hand in hand, this time with a little more ease. Rin realized it was startlingly simple to get used to someone’s fingers weaving between your own. There was a strange kind of comfort in fitting so seamlessly with another person, as if the world had carved a space just for the two of them. It almost made him wonder if relationships, if a semblance of love or romance, were all this simple. Maybe love is an easy thing to fall into.

He hated it, but his mind traveled back to Sae and Shidou. Was this all it had been for them? Just discovering that their hands had fit together in a way they couldn’t ignore? That even in a world fractured and burned around them, the simple act of holding someone palm to palm had been enough to tether them to something brighter?

Maybe, for some people, there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Something to fight for, something to hope for. Or maybe life was always meant to be jagged and bruised, and hope wasn’t a distant beacon at all. Maybe it was the hand that held you close as you find your way through the darkness.

"Look!"

Rin was snapped out of his thoughts, and at what a funny timing. There was a lit-up store, just in their reach. Maybe life was a fucked up thing, and perhaps hope could be something as simple as a hand in yours, a shared chase toward the light, even if it was only for a moment.

"It's so bright."

"It's a jewelry store," Bachira remarked.

He pulled Rin in behind him, and the two squinted as their eyes adjusted to the room, somehow bright, pristine, and also aged and dirty.

"It was a jewelry store." Rin corrected. The two looked around, and it seemed people had come in and looted it when it was open, because the glass was shattered, and a lot had been stolen. A few pieces were left behind.

"I wonder why people would loot here," Rin spoke aloud.

"Eh. They looted everywhere. Probably thought they'd get some resale money."

"Do you think they did?"

"Depends on how quickly they tried to sell. Now? I don't think anybody would care about buying this stuff."

Bachira dropped Rin's hand and slid over one of the countertops that was still intact. He turned around and adjusted a nonexistent tie.

Putting on a British accent, he started, "Hello, sir. What might I help you with?"

"I'm not playing this." Rin looked at him, bored.

Bachira dropped the accent, "Come on, Rin-chan! Picture it! If you were in a jewelry store, what would you buy?"

"I wouldn't buy anything."

"Pretend we're in normal times! There's nothing, no gift you'd want to give someone?"

Rin sighed, the sound hollow in the quiet room. He didn’t have an answer. He let his eyes drift across the cluttered space, women’s necklaces, rings, earrings glinting in the dim light, and found nothing that felt right. Nothing that could mean anything now.

And then he saw it: a man’s watch, printed on a faded poster tacked to the wall. Back when life was ordinary, he would never have considered such a gift. It felt… grown-up. But now, faced with the demand of an answer, it seemed to speak. “I’d get Sae a watch,” Rin murmured, voice rough with exhaustion.

Bachira was the only person who could take such a declaration. That was something that made Bachira so easy to be around. He didn't freeze or get weird at the mention of Sae's name. Sae was someone who could exist just as normally after death as he had when alive. Rin didn't want to not talk about him. He never wanted to be someone who would freeze to a point where his loved one's name became a word that could no longer be spoken. He never wanted Sae to become forgotten on account of his feelings.

“It’s strange,” Rin said, staring at the poster as if it might answer him. “I was fifteen when the outbreak happened. Sae… he was seventeen. And now I’m eighteen, and he—he made it to twenty. We’re in different phases. I mean, back then, we'd probably gift each other a jersey… a concert ticket… something … that we'd enjoy to do together…"

“And then,” he swallowed, feeling the weight in his chest, “at some point, you don’t even realize it, but the gifts change. They become watches. Briefcases. Things that show you’re… growing older.  And part of growing older is seemingly not knowing what the other is interested in. So I’d buy him a watch, or something safe, because he can wear it, and it'll be nice, but there's nothing personal. But we never got to grow to that point. I don't… I don't know---"

“Rin-chan,” Bachira said softly, almost a whisper, “you’re thinking too hard.”

“You think?” 

"A tad. Sae was stylish. A primidona. He would have loved the watch."

"Probably. But I wouldn't have been the one to gift it to him. It wouldn't have been a good gift from me."

"I think you're missing the point."

"Which is?"

"It's not the gift that's good. It's the memory of the person. He would love the watch not because it's a watch, but because it's a gift from his little brother." Bachira smiled so widely. "I'd get my mom a necklace." Bachira pulled a necklace out from under his shirt. "See this?"

Rin nodded.

"Does it look like my style?"

The necklace was a cross. It was not Bachira's style.

"It's not. But it's my most prized possession. It was my mom's."

Rin nodded. Despite Bachira knowing exactly how to act around Sae's name, Rin hadn't yet mastered that for Bachira’s mom. Bachira was one of a kind, in his way of talking to people about hard things, and making it seem like it was the most natural thing in the world, and not at all sad, to imagine the gift you would give your deceased loved one.

"I think she wanted it to be a family heirloom or something. To get passed down to different generations."

"It could still."

Bachira gave Rin a look like, "Seriously?"

"What?"

"What future child am I giving this to Rin-chan?"

"I don't know… You could meet someone."

Bachira's mouth pursed into a smirk. "Rin-chan, do you know how babies are made?"

"What kind of question is that?" Rin could feel his face getting red.

"I don't know. How would I have a kid?"

Rin stayed silent and just looked at him like he didn't know how to proceed.

"Well, Rin-chan, two men can't have kids. Sorry to let you down, I know you were excited to become an uncle."

Rin was burning up so hard it took him a second to catch up.

"Gross."

Bachira laughed and then turned back behind the counter. He put on his British accent again.

"A watch… a watch…" Bachira started opening drawers, and then he paused. "Woah."

"What?"

"C'mere."

Rin shuffled over to the cabinet, and the two crouched over to look inside the drawer. Inside, there were a bunch of rings with different cuts, shapes, sizes, and designs. All of them were engagement rings.

"I'm amazed they're still here."

Bachira tried to pick up the box, but it was attached to the drawer.

"Maybe too much effort? Although they could have broken the glass."

Rin looked towards the many broken countertops around the store. "Probably different people without shared brain cells."

"Which one would you choose?"

"Ah?"

"Which ring?"

Rin looked down at the different rings and back up at Bachira, who was seemingly so enamored by them that he didn't notice Rin staring.

"Uh… I don't know. Which one would you get?"

Bachira's tongue poked out of his mouth.

"Well, I think I like this one." Bachira pointed to a ring set in a gold band with flecks of color. "But, it's an engagement ring. So, it's not about what I'd like, but what the person would like." Bachira then tilted his head and pointed at a simple one, set in a silver band. "I'd choose this one for them."

Rin nodded and took a deep breath, trying to muster the courage to say something, but Bachira beat him.

"Do you think they had engagement rings?"

"Who?"

"Shidou and your brother."

Rin rolled his eyes at the mention.

"Rin-chan." Bachira poked Rin's cheek. "That's not nice."

"He's not nice. He's making my life a fucking nightmare."

"Don't give him so much power." Bachira tsked, "Life's a fucking nightmare period."

"Well, he makes life worse. I don't know why Sae liked him."

"He was obsessed with him, Rin-chan."

"I didn't realize how desperate Sae was for attention."

Bachira shook his head. "Sae was obsessed with Shidou was what I was saying."

Rin's face soured. "No—"

"Yes, Rin. And, if it weren't for those two getting along and being interested in each other, we probably would have died by month three."

"No, we wouldn't have."

"Well, we wouldn't have made it to Lockport, that's for sure."

"Yeah, well, look how good that turned out. Sae's dead and you're ostracized."

"Neither of which is Shidou's fault."

Rin clenched his jaw. Bachira was looking at him like he had won a checkmate. Rin decided to make a truce with him, since he couldn't win the argument.

"They had wedding rings. I don't know about engagement rings."

"Did they loot them? How'd they get them?"

"They are the two ugliest pieces of metal you could fathom. Shidou welded them."

Bachira let out an involuntary coo and pouted his lip.

"Shut up."

Bachira linked his arm with Rin's and leaned into him. "It's so romantic~" He sang.

"It's disgusting."

"It's sweet."

"They're ugly."

"They're from the heart."

"Whatever." Rin pfftd. "I'd get them this ring." Rin pointed towards the ring that Bachira had chosen for himself.

Bachira froze a bit, and Rin could feel him stiffen from how close they were to one another.

"Heh…" Bachira made a sound. "Rin-chan?"

"Mhm?"

Bachira let out a sigh, as if steadying himself, and then leaned in and quickly pecked Rin on the cheek. Upon feeling Bachira's lips on his face, Rin's eyes bulged out of his head, and he quickly reached to touch the space abandoned by Bachira's mouth the second he removed his lips.

"Uh?"

Bachira straightened and glanced around the room. His gaze landed on a block of something, probably once used to smash another countertop, and he picked it up. He waved Rin away from the drawer.

Rin watched as Bachira lifted the block and slammed it into the glass display. Pieces shattered and scattered across the surface. Carefully, Bachira navigated around the jagged shards and lifted a yellowish ring with a gold band. He held it out to Rin, steady and deliberate.

"Here, Rin-chan. One day you can use it… for your special someone."

Rin stared at it blankly, and it felt like his heart was rising and sinking at the same time. Bachira, of course, Bachira was his special someone. And obviously, Bachira felt the same. Why else would he lean in and press a quick, trembling kiss to Rin’s cheek when Rin spoke of proposing to someone with the ring Bachira had chosen?

It was confusing, it was maddening. And yet… maybe it was exactly as it was meant to be. They were ridiculous, picking out rings and fumbling through moments they weren’t ready for. Bachira could barely summon the courage to press a quick kiss to Rin’s cheek, and Rin couldn’t hold Bachira’s hand and meet his eyes at the same time without feeling like he would combust into a flustered, stammering mess. Every small gesture carried the weight of a lifetime they hadn’t yet lived.

They were already imagining a future that might never come—a life where shyness didn’t choke their tiny confessions, where holding hands or leaning in didn’t feel like stepping off a cliff. Maybe that was why it hurt so beautifully, why the present felt like both a gift and a wound.

Rin slid the ring into his pocket. His person was right there, warm and alive beside him, but crossing that line—the line where they could give themselves over fully—was still years away. 

Bachira shuffled, brushing at the dirt on his legs, and stood to move toward the exit.

Rin looked at his back, then down at the little glass drawer that held the rings. The ring he imagined Bachira had picked for him was still there. So, Rin picked it up.

"Bachira?"

"Mhm?"

Rin held out the ring to him and met his eyes for a second before feeling the need to evade.

"For… your special someone."

Rin didn't look at him to see a reaction, but if he had, he would have seen Bachira's eyes widen and well up with tears almost immediately. His hand reached to pick the ring out of Rin's hand, and then faltered back over by himself, as if he couldn't in good faith take it. 

But then, Rin was looking up at him, wondering if he had done something, and Bachira was letting out the breath he was holding. And suddenly, his hand found a way to close around the ring in Rin's hand, and he pocketed it just the same.

Rin’s lip curved into a small, quiet smile, and a gentle warmth bloomed in his chest. There was something so beautiful about the two of them, each clutching the ring meant for the other. After all, the rings were tiny, perfect circles of promise—of futures they would one day share. And in Bachira holding Rin’s, and Rin holding Bachira’s, it was as if they were holding onto each other’s tomorrows, safeguarding each other’s futures.

Rin moved to wrap his hand around Bachira’s, fingers threading together naturally this time. He let his gaze settle on Bachira’s face, catching that faint uptick of a smile mirrored there. They hadn’t spoken a single word of promise, and yet somehow, in that quiet moment, they had made one anyway. Maybe, just maybe, Rin could hold Bachira’s hand a little more easily now, without fear or hesitation, because their futures, however uncertain, were already intertwined.

The two of them walked hand in hand for a little while, and then Rin saw something of interest.

"Meguru.." Rin walked behind Bachira and put his hand over Bachira's eyes.

His brain seemingly caught up with what he was doing, and he stuttered a bit, his hands hovering a little away from where he initially put them to cover Bachira's eyes.

"Is this okay?"

Bachira's face split into a smile. "Yeah. What's it, Rin-chan?"

“Close your eyes. Don’t peek.” Rin began walking Bachira toward the storefront that had caught his eye. The two of them waddled along like it was the world’s most amicable hostage situation.

Rin led him in with little directions: Watch your step. I’m gonna turn you now. Up we go.

Once inside, Rin had to take in his surroundings too, since he’d never been there before, so he turned Bachira into a little corner and told him to stay put.

Rin had brought Bachira into an abandoned Cheesecake Factory. It was hardly the nicest restaurant in the world, and maybe not what Bachira had pictured when he imagined his perfect candlelit dinner. But, it would have to do.

Rin found a table and shook off the tablecloth before smoothing it carefully into place. The little fake candle hadn’t been turned on, and for a fleeting moment, Rin muttered a quiet, half-hearted prayer to a god he no longer believed in, hoping it would work. And somehow, it did. He gave himself a silent point in his mental scorebook.

He set the bottle of champagne in the center of the table, then glanced toward the bar for glasses—before deciding against it. There was no way they were clean, and he wasn’t about to wash them here.

So instead, he gathered all the tiny fake candles and lit them one by one. He arranged them around their table and placed a few on the one beside it, their flames flickering unevenly. They didn’t blink in unison, but the effect was almost magical—twinkling, warm, and romantic.

Rin actually had to calm himself as he made his way back to Bachira. Was it too much? Too late now.

He put his hand back over Bachira's eyes, and he walked him a few more steps.

"Open," Rin said, nervously removing his hands.

Bachira looked on at the table littered with blinking little candle lights and their champagne bottle set in the middle. It may not have been the candlelit dinner in the way he dreamed, but even so, it was better because it was set by Rin.

Rin pulled out the chair, and Bachira's eyes were shining in surprise like he could melt at the gesture. He sat, and Rin slid into the booth.

"Sorry, there aren't cups. Well, there are, but…"

"You wanna indirect kiss me that bad, Rin-chan?"

"No.. I… they're dirty." Rin was right back to his embarrassed self. He pushed the bottle towards Bachira, and with a shit eating grin, Bachira drank. He pushed it back. And seemingly self-conscious about Bachira's comment. Rin wiped the mouth of the bottle, took a sip, and then gave it back.

"Ouch," Bachira said, smile not faltering.

"I didn't want you to get the wrong idea, bob-cut."

"What idea might I get, Rin-chan?"

Rin stared down at the table, not sure how to answer. What was he supposed to say? That he likes Bachira? That would be right on the nose, and surely not the wrong idea.

Bachira inhaled deeply and then got up from his chair and sat in the booth next to Rin. At first, he kept his limbs to himself and grabbed the bottle. He took a big swig, and Rin watched, because as long as Bachira wasn't looking back, he felt safe.

Bachira put the bottle back down and then linked his arm into Rin's and leaned his head on his shoulder.

"Rin…" Bachira faltered off and looked at the candlelight. Rin leaned his head on top of Bachira's.

"Mhm?"

"I've liked you for a while." Bachira just said. Frankly. Like that.

Rin felt himself freeze, and suddenly, he was very, very nervous. He lifted his head to look at Bachira.

"Probably since we met. I remember seeing you and Sae, and thinking you were really handsome. And then Isagi and I joined you, and I just kept watching you the entire time we walked. I don't think you even spared me a second glance back then, but I just couldn't stop looking at you."

Rin remembers when his group combined with Bachira’s. It had a lot less fanfare than when they merged with Shidou’s. Of course, that was because Isagi and Bachira were timid. Isagi came waving a white flag as a greeting, and Sae—who wasn’t interested in conflict—just gave a simple “alright.” Then the four of them walked together, picking up more and more stragglers, until they eventually fell into Shidou’s group’s trap.

It was likely that Rin hadn't looked twice at Bachira. Rin wasn't interested in people, period. He had no need for friends, so he never even humored dating anyone. Add in the fact that the world was in shambles, Rin couldn't care less about anyone who wasn't Sae. As long as the two of them were safe, the rest of the world could burn. But then, they relearned safety, or a semblance of it, and Bachira had quickly attached himself to Rin, and Rin learned what it was like to have a friend.

And soon, he saw his eyes falling on Bachira for longer than they should. He felt the way his eyes would narrow when Isagi draped his arm around Bachira's shoulders. He noticed how his gaze would look for Bachira in every room, and how once Bachira was gone, he still looked in those places.

"I prayed to my mom about you." Bachira's voice interrupted Rin's thoughts. "She worried about me so much." Bachira chuckled and then followed it with, "When I met you, I prayed to her and said she didn't need to worry anymore."

Rin's heart was beating out of his chest. Hammering so loud, he couldn't possibly hear his normal anxiousness telling him to stop. So Rin allowed his hand to hold Bachira's jaw and direct him to look at him. And then he leaned in and pecked Bachira's mouth.

Bachira looked like he was about to smile, laugh, and sob all in one.

"I like you too, Meguru. I have for a while—"

Bachira’s hands cupped Rin’s face gently, thumbs brushing over his cheekbones. Rin’s stomach fluttered violently, a nervous warmth pooling low in his chest and stomach, and he leaned into the touch, eyes blinking closed. The first kiss was soft, tentative, a barely-there press of lips—but it made his heart spike and his thoughts tumbled over each other.

Bachira pressed closer, nudging his lips again and again, each touch light and teasing, enough to send Rin’s chest soaring. Rin’s fingers twitched, hovering uncertainly at Bachira’s jaw before curling into the soft warmth there. Every little noise Bachira made, be it a hum, an exhale, or a soft grunt, made Rin’s stomach twist with electricity. He could feel his heartbeat in his throat.

They kissed like that for what felt like minutes, small, closed-mouth presses, a rhythm that made Rin dizzy and breathless. And then, Bachira’s finger traced Rin’s bottom lip, tugging gently to open it up. Rin’s heart stuttered, a frantic flutter, and he parted his lips. Bachira didn’t hesitate, and his tongue pressed inside of Rin’s mouth, licking inside.

Rin’s face heated, and for a moment, panic and thrill tangled inside him. It was embarrassing, it was vulnerable, it was gross… but it was Bachira. So it was comfortable, it was easy, and it was perfect.

His hands found the curve of Bachira’s jaw, brushing tentatively, not quite sure where to rest, but wanting to hold him close, to keep him there.

Bachira’s sighs and little moans pressed against Rin’s lips, Rin felt himself melting into it. His chest ached in the most disarming way, stomach fluttering. Bachira let out a little grunt, and broke their kiss.

Rin hadn't opened his eyes quickly enough, but when he did, Bachira was wiping his mouth and climbing onto his lap to straddle him. He rested his hands over Rin's shoulders, and Rin probably looked a little panic stricken, and unable to keep up, but then Bachira's mouth was on his again.

Then Bachira shifted, grinding down onto him and Rin’s body tensed. Heat and excitement raced through him, and suddenly it was too much, his hand shook on Bachira’s waist. Rin didn't know if he was ready for this escalation.

“I… wait—” Rin gasped, panic threading through his voice, eyes wide.

Bachira’s lips hovered over his, brushing in a soft butterfly kiss. “It’s okay, Rin-chan.”

Rin’s chest tightened. “Um… but… what about—”

Bachira pressed his forehead to Rin’s, warm and panting, teasing yet insistent. “No one’s around.”

And then he shifted again, closer, pressing his hips against Rin's. Rin’s heart thumped so fast it felt like it might burst. His hands fumbled awkwardly, trying to brace, trying to anchor himself. His mind screamed, stomach twisting in a knot of panic and fear that they were going too fast.

"I… no." Rin began trying to wiggle out from under Bachira. Bachira blinked, shaking himself out of his kiss-drunk stupor, and hopped off Rin.

“Rin… I—I’m sorry. I just… I’ve wanted that for a while. I got carried away. I didn’t mean to—”

Rin’s chest heaved, heat still burning in his cheeks, stomach still fluttering in that dizzy, electric way. Every nerve felt alive. It had been sweet. It had been perfect. And… he wanted more. Just not yet, and not so fast. After all, they had time.

"No, Meguru, it’s fine…" Rin grabbed onto Bachira's arm, as if he couldn’t bear not to be touching him. "It… um… it’s just too much… too fast."

Bachira slowly blinked at him for a second and then gave a numb nod. Rin felt the need to talk over it to reassure him.

"I do want to! But… tonight… It's just too quick. We have time, so we'll get there." Bachira looked down at the floor as if guilty. Rin quickly added, "That was my first kiss."

"Huh?" Bachira looked back up at him.

"Was it not yours?" Rin suddenly felt bashful.

"I… I wouldn't count mine. So sure. You seemed to know what you were doing."

"Now that's a lie." He chuckled.

Rin reached for their bottle of champagne and took a sip. He then held the bottle out to Bachira. Bachira looked at the bottle, and then at Rin, and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips before taking another sip.

"Wanna get out of here?"

"Was my dinner not up to your standards?"

"It was beyond my standards, Rin-chan."

They veered toward the opposite exit, a path that curved into a different corridor, and it turned out to be the perfect choice. Up ahead, neon lights buzzed and flashed over the entrance of a Dave & Buster’s, its colors reflecting in their wide, excited eyes.

"Fuck. Yeah." Bachira's eyes widened as much as his smile did, and Rin mustered a nod as the two of them made their way in.

The arcade was a riot of lights and sound, with colors bouncing off the walls. Yet, not everything was perfect and picturesque—a few games ran flawlessly, flashing bright and playing cheerful music, while others sputtered and groaned, their music warped into deep, distorted tones that made the whole place feel just as haunted as it was amazing. 

"I don't even know where to start."

"I do," Rin said, grabbing a hold of Bachira's arm and dragging him towards the basketball machines.

"You ball, Rin?"

"Not basketball."

Bachira gave him a deadpan stare. "We all know you played soccer. You and Sae wouldn't let anyone forget."

"Okay, well, basketball is close enough."

"Not at all."

Rin brushed him off, and the two were in front of the hoops. A divider was holding back the balls.

"Hm…"

"Fret not, Rin-chan!" Bachira hoisted himself up onto the machine and maneuvered over the divider and under the netting, where he handed Rin the balls.

Rin gracefully accepted them. Bachira did a dramatic voice-over: "Ready, set, scoreeeee!" His excitement seemed to plateau for a second, and Rin noticed Bachira sway slightly and blink a few times before nudging his arm.

"You drunk or something?"

Bachira gave a slight laugh. "No, I just got dizzy for a sec."

Rin leaned down into his backpack and handed Bachira a water bottle. "Come on, hydrate. Date's not over yet."

Bachira gave another light smile and drank from the bottle.

"Should we make a bet?"

"What kind of bet?"

"Uh… if I win, you have to give me a piggyback ride."

Rin shrugged at him, "Lame. I would do that anyway. If you asked."

Bachira's smile was bigger this time, and he nudged him. "What about if I lose? What do you want?"

Rin blushed profusely, and Bachira poked his cheek. "Oooh, Rin-chan's blushing! What is it, what is it?"

Rin's lips were taut shut, before he was able to manage: "Another kiss."

Bachira seemed stunned, but then smiled. "Sure. But I would do that anyway. If you asked."

"It's better if I win it." Rin zeroed in on their basketball.

The two made their rounds shooting the balls, but since there were only six balls, they each got only three shots, and the machine collected them afterward.

Rin had made two shots, and Bachira had made two shots.

"That was lame," Rin responded.

"Yeah… a tie…"

Bachira leaned up and kissed Rin on the mouth, and Rin tried to hide the way his lips upticked as he looked down at Bachira.

"Now you gotta give me a piggyback..."

Rin bent over, and Bachira mounted him. He gave him a spin and tried to put him down, but Bachira held on tighter.

"Rin! Over there! The prize hut probably has a ton of tokens!"

Rin grabbed his bag to hold onto with the added weight of Bachira on top of him and made his way over there.

Upon arrival, Bachira patted Rin's head, and Rin let him down. Bachira wasted no time and slid over the countertop to check out where he could find the coins.

Finally, he spotted a large bin brimming with tokens, lifted it out, and slid it across to Rin.

"The world is our oyster!"

Hand in hand, they dashed back to the basketball machines for another round—this one decidedly less pitiful. The machine lit up with bright colors and bouncy music as they started shooting, laughing uncontrollably. Rin deliberately sabotaged Bachira’s shots, while Bachira hopped up, flailing to block Rin’s, sometimes smacking his own hand against Rin’s in mock frustration.

By the end, Bachira had scored nineteen goals and Rin twenty-three. Bachira huffed theatrically, muttering that he let Rin win, and used it as an excuse to press another quick kiss to Rin’s lips.

Rin couldn’t stop the grin that escaped him.

"I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile like that," Bachira said, eyes twinkling.

"I don’t think I ever have," Rin admitted, almost laughing. "It’s just… everything feels so normal. Like this is what a date would be."

"Almost normal…" Bachira corrected with a grin. "One, we wouldn’t have the arcade all to ourselves. Two, we couldn’t do PDA like this. And three, we’d actually have to pay."

"So… better than normal," Rin said, squeezing Bachira’s hand.

"Might be." Bachira smiled again, but it flickered and faded just as quickly as it erupted. And then, he turned on his heel and made his way to a different game.

They played a few more rounds, laughter and the clatter of machines echoing around them. During air hockey, Rin got distracted, and Bachira seized the moment to slam a puck in.

"Boooom! Boooom! Eat shit, Rin-chan! The crowd loves Bachira Meguru!!!" Bachira shouted, sprinting a dramatic lap around the table, adding exaggerated cheers and applause for effect. But Rin’s eyes had drifted elsewhere, narrowed, focused on something out of view.

Out of breath, Bachira glanced at Rin and noticed his gaze. Smirking, he crept up behind him, timing it perfectly, and let out a loud, playful, "Boo!"

Rin didn't even flinch, just looked at Bachira with displeasure.

"Did you hear—"

"Yeah, I heard it too," Bachira interrupted, waving a hand. "But it’s nothing to worry about. Probably just something turning on. A power surge or something. Nothing for us to shit our pants and run from."

Rin gave him a skeptical glance, considered it for a beat, and apparently satisfied, turned back. "What’s wrong with you? One lap around an air hockey table and you’re wheezing? Are they that lax over in the Red Zone?"

"Well… yeah," Bachira admitted, a small wheeze creeping into his voice. "We kinda… lost order, Rin-chan."

His wheeze shifted into a cough, and he trailed off. "Though I feel… kind of weird. Maybe… we should…" His eyes unfocused for a moment, and Rin immediately slid an arm around his back, steadying him.

"Meguru? Are you okay?"

Bachira blinked, snapped back into focus, and a mischievous smile spread across his face. "Maybe we should check out that photo booth!" He wiggled his eyebrows and marched off toward the wall where it sat.

Rin groaned, slinging his backpack over his shoulder and following. "Don’t do that!"

Bachira pulled the curtain aside and motioned for Rin to go in first, but Rin shook his head, letting Bachira take the lead. With a small bow of mock formality, Bachira stepped in and plopped down onto the bench. Rin followed, nudging his bag to the floor at their feet, and Bachira shifted his legs over Rin’s backpack, pressing as close as he could.

They fumbled with tokens, dropping them into the machine, and watched as the screen lit up with weird, glitchy graphics, blasting a once lively, now slightly dissonant tune into their ears.

"That’s… fucking horrifying," Rin muttered, half-amused.

"Ready?" Bachira asked, eyes sparkling.

"Sure," Rin replied.

Bachira hit the green button, and the countdown began.

In the first frame, Bachira crossed his eyes and stuck out his tongue. Rin just stared, unamused, but Bachira laughed, scooting closer and pressing a peace sign behind Rin’s head to give him Bunny ears. Rin just stared into the camera, suppressing a grin.

Next, Bachira slipped a hand under Rin’s chin, gently tilting his face to coax a smile. Rin shot him a side-eye, but a real smile broke through.

Finally, Bachira leaned in, pressing a quick, teasing peck to Rin’s cheek, smooshing him impossibly close.

"God, I feel like I’m blind after that," Rin said, blinking rapidly.

"Let’s go again!" Bachira grinned, feeding more coins into the machine.

"What, you got more poses in mind?"

"Something like that," Bachira said, smirking.

In the brief silence between rounds, the music cut out, and there was another sound in the distance. Rin glanced toward it, curious, and Bachira gently guided his face back to his, and gave a light reassuring smile.

"Relax. Nobody’s here, Rin-chan."

Rin nodded, letting the whir of the music fill the tiny booth again. He glanced at the screen, but Bachira tugged him back, rubbing his nose against Rin’s.

Rin’s smile erupted just in time for the incriminating flash.

He barely had a chance to complain before Bachira’s lips were on his, and the flash went off again.

Rin readjusted, chasing Bachira’s mouth, hands cupping his neck and chin, kissing with a sudden, urgent desperation.

Then, his shoulder jolted backward, away from Bachira–

Bachira screamed, and Rin twisted to see an arm grappling him– it was a fender.

Rin tangled it in the curtain, shimmying away, but panic surged: the other end of the booth was blocked by a wall. They were trapped.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck—" Rin spoke, trying to hold the fender at bay with his forearm while digging toward his waistband for his knife.

Bachira had hoisted himself onto the bench and kicked out at the fender, giving Rin a precious second of leverage to adjust his grip. The creature surged back, its wet, rasping gasps filling the cramped booth as Rin slammed his knife through the curtain.

He took a deep breath, but the fender was relentless. He couldn't see where he was stabbing, so he must have missed its head. He held onto the handle of his knife to try to retract it, but it was hard to remove, and as he pulled on the knife, he was just pulling the fender closer to them.

"Meg!" Rin yelled. "I need a knife! I need—There’s another one on my ankle!"

Bachira drew his own knife and slashed into the fender’s face. It staggered, letting out a horrifying rasp that made Rin’s blood run cold, but it wasn’t fatal.

"Rin, it's not fucking working!" Bachira cried.

"Hold on!"

Rin released the knife lodged in the fender’s shoulder and grabbed the smaller one strapped to his ankle, driving it into the fender’s face, next to Bachira’s. The creature shuddered, gasping and hissing, but it pressed on.

"The gun! Rin, the gun!" Bachira shouted, diving for the bag on the floor. "Which pocket?"

"The back! The back!" Their voices rose to frantic, overlapping screams.

As Bachira was rummaging around, Rin’s strength began to falter. The fender surged through the curtain, teeth gnashing, and pinned him.

"MEGURU!" Rin screamed, bracing the knives against its face as the creature’s jaws snapped inches from his arm. The rasping, wet breaths of the fender filled his ears, and his arms shook under the pressure. One more second, and it would reach his shoulder, his neck, or his face.

"I'VE GOT IT!" Bachira exclaimed, and Rin felt himself breathe for a second. Bachira aimed the gun, far too close for anybody's safety, like that fucking mattered at this point, and pulled the trigger.

If Rin could go back in time and murder the past ‘responsible’ him, he would. Because the gun was empty. The gun was empty because the bullets were in Rin's pocket. Because he was against them carrying a loaded gun.

Rin's eyes widened, and he felt his tears well. He shrieked the world's most broken and raspy "Noooo!" as the fender had him. It bore its teeth, and Rin closed his eyes to brace himself for the bite. He didn’t feel anything, yet he heard the sound of flesh ripping and a cry.

He opened it, and in front of him was his worst nightmare.

Bachira's arm was an inch away from his face, and the fender's teeth were sunken deeply into it.

"What did… What did you—" If Rin were horror-stricken before, now was a whole new level.

Bachira 's face was contorted with pain.

"Load the gun."

"Why would you—" Rin's voice was raspy, reeking of betrayal. His lip was wobbling as he stared at Bachira in disbelief.

"Rin-chan," Bachira spoke, with an exhale. Far too calm for the current stakes. "Load the gun."

Rin's jaw clenched, and even though time felt frozen, it wasn't. Bachira maneuvered himself over Rin to try to switch their spots, and he was pushing the fender back by its mouth, hissing and wincing through the pain.

Rin grabbed the gun, opened it, and reached into his pocket. He loaded it with shaky hands, closed the cartridge, and turned the safety off. He held the gun against the skull of the fender and fired. The shot cracked through the air. The bullet was strong enough to actually take down the fender, but even so, Rin held onto the gun closely with trembling hands.

Bachira had fallen out of the booth with the fender when it was shot. That was how deep it had bitten him.

Rin was still aiming the gun, as Bachira shoved two fingers between the fender’s teeth, and pried them open with a sickening crunch. When the jaws finally gave, he staggered back, clutching his arm.

He looked over his arm, hovered his good hand over it, wincing at the thought of touching it. His breath was shallow, uneven, with little rivulets of blood running down his arm.

He didn't look at Rin.

"What… the fuck…" Rin's hand was shaking on the gun, and finally he lowered it. He was panting now, the tears overcoming him. "Why the fuck would you do that!" He yelled at Bachira. All the while, Bachira still didn't raise his stare.

"Look at me! What the fuck is wrong with you?"

When Bachira looked up at him, he wore a sad smile, and he was disheveled from the pain and from the tears that were pooling out of him.

"It was me or you."

"Then it's fucking me! It was supposed to be me."

"It's always been me, Rin."

"No, Meg—"

"No, Rin-chan." Bachira suddenly shrugged off his jacket and pulled up the collar of his shirt to expose his shoulder. "It was always me."

There was a bite on Bachira’s shoulder. It couldn't have been more than a day or two old. It was scabbing over, not quite as fresh and gory as the one on his forearm was. But it was a bite nonetheless.

Rin inhaled and took a step back. "What is… When did…"

"Sorry." Bachira managed.

"Fuck you." Rin spat. "When did?" His face contorted into sorrow. "Why did… when?" Hot tears began to spill down Rin's face.

"I got bitten the day before yesterday. I knew, if I was lucky… I'd get some time. What with the symptoms taking a few days to kick in." Bachira covered his shoulder back up and gave a weepy, apologetic smile. "There was so much I wanted to do… but nothing more than this."

"You were… You didn't…"

"I know. It's selfish, Rin-chan. I know. I'm sorry."

"What if… Fuck… And what if you turned while we were out… what then?"

"I gave you a gun,"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Rin threw the gun. “You gave me a fucking gun to kill you with?"

Bachira froze a bit, seeming to catch up with just how fucked up and not at all thought through his last ‘perfect’ day on earth was.

"I didn't… it was to protect yourself with."

"Fuck you, Bachira." Rin was snarling, and he felt like he could explode into a million pieces. He took a deep breath, though the emotions were far too solid in his chest for him to feel any relief.

His face contorted, and suddenly he was sobbing. "You're all I have." He whimpered. "Why…"

"I just wanted to say goodbye."

"It could have been both of us.” Rin rasped, “He was coming for me, he would have bit me, it would have been us…" Rin had a crazed look in his eye, and suddenly he was on the ground, trying to shove his own arm into the fender's mouth.

"Rin." Bachira's eyes widened at what he was doing. "RIN!" Bachira pulled him off the fender. "Stop it."

Rin shoved Bachira, but Bachira caught his arms and clung on. Rin fought against Bachira, but he just hugged him back with a death grip.

"I'm going to miss you, Rin-chan. And if there's an afterlife, I'll be waiting for you."

Rin stopped moving in Bachira's embrace, as if those words had truly sobered him into the realization that there wasn't a solution here.

Bachira reached into his pocket, and he held out the ring Rin gave him. "You know, there were so many points tonight where I was so happy I almost deluded myself into thinking that there was a chance." Bachira gave a light laugh because, honestly, hope was such a cruel thing. His face evened out. "You knew it immediately, but I chose this ring because I thought you'd like it. I didn't grab it because I had to remind myself that it was only for tonight. Someone else will come along, and they’ll choose their own ring for you. But the ring you have… that's yours to give away."

"I'm not giving—"

"Shhh, Rin. It won't just be me in your lifetime." Bachira tucked the hair that was covering Rin's face behind his ear. "I want you to live a while, kay?"

"I don't wanna—"

"You have to." Bachira suddenly grew stern in his tone. Then, he was pinching the bridge of his nose, wincing and blinking.

"I don't," Rin said with a certain eerie resolve. "I don't have to live, or keep going. That's fucked up, you know it's fucked up. I did it when Sae died, and I can't do it anymore, Meguru. I can't live without—"

"You were living fine without me, Rin. We've been separated for two months, and you did fine."

"I wasn't fine!" Rin yelled, and Bachira winced like his head ached. "I wasn't fucking fine, I haven't been fucking fine! I don't have anybody—"

"You have Shidou!"

“I’d rather blow my brains out—” Rin stopped mid-sentence. Something behind his eyes shifted. Bachira looked up from where he was clutching his head, his stomach dropping as he followed Rin’s gaze to the floor.

“Don’t.” Bachira’s voice cracked. He scrambled, nearly slipping on blood, and launched himself over the fender’s body. “Rin, don’t!”

“I’ll wait,” Rin said, almost calmly. His voice was eerily steady. “I’ll wait for you to turn. And then I’ll do it.”

Bachira's eyes zeroed in on the gun first, and he dove for it to safeguard it against Rin. Bachira scrambled around the gun, not quite knowing how to use it, but Rin could guess he was trying to unload it.

“How the fuck—” Bachira muttered, flipping the weapon over, fingers trembling against the trigger. Then, out of frustration or desperation, he turned toward the wall and fired three times. 

“One bullet left,” Bachira said, his voice hollow. “Either you use it on me… or you walk away.”

Rin looked at him like he was a psycho. “I’m not going to use it on you–”

“You can!” Bachira snapped. “I’m telling you, you can. I wouldn’t mind it, Rin. If it were you.”

“That’s so fucked–”

"Maybe," Bachira cut him off, and his voice softened. "I want you to have a happy life, Rin." He drew his knees to his chest, shaking. "I'm sorry about this. God, I'm so fucking sorry. I don't know why I did this." Bachira's face was turning red, and he was choking on his sobs. "I just didn't… I just couldn't… I just wanted to…"

Rin stared at him with a glassy, distant look in his eye.

"I just love you so much, Rin-chan." Bachira entirely broke down, shaking. "I couldn't die without saying that. I love you." He looked up at Rin, as if expecting a response. Rin sighed, and he looked down at him.

Bachira gave a small, broken laugh through the wheezing that was returning to his voice. "This is so pathetic. Saying it is so easy… why did I think it was so hard?" Bachira sniffled a bit and then smiled with a more peaceful resolve. "I love you." He was looking at Rin. "Could you… do you…"

Rin felt sick, and his stomach twisted. He knew what Bachira wanted to hear, but he couldn’t. He was just so angry at him.

“It doesn’t matter,” Bachira said softly, answering his silence. Then his smile brightened, trembling. “I love you. I love you, Itoshi Rin. I love you, Rin-chan! I love you, I love you—”

Rin felt sicker and sicker each time he spoke it. His smile was so pure, so certain. And then, it suddenly wavered, and his mouth flatlined, and his eyes dimmed.

"I love you. I love you.. I love you…"

Rin’s eyes blurred, tears spilling before he even realized he was crying. His mouth fell open, a raw, broken sound catching in his throat. 

“No.”

Bachira’s last words were being replayed back to him. A sick mockery of the sentiment he could now never return on ears that could appreciate them.

“I love you. I love you. I love you…”

Rin’s breath stuttered. Each repetition settled into his stomach and chest deeper than any bullet ever could.  

“Shut up,” he choked, voice shaking.

The echo went on.

“Shut up! Shut the fuck up, Bachira!”

How sick was it? Rin didn't return Bachira's "I love you," and now here it was, being replayed back to him like the world's cruelest joke.

Bachira’s corpse convulsed, hacking through broken breaths. His body jerked like its bones were snapping out of place, and still, through the spasms, came that voice—

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

Rin’s breath hitched. No, no, it wasn’t too late. He could fix this. He could. Rin could tie him up, bring him back to Lockport, and they could explore just what it is that subdues the virus. They could find a cure. They could give it to Bachira, and sure, Rin would have to tell Bachira off for what he did tonight, but then they could go home, and they could make dinner together, and they could put the candle between them. And talk about their day. And then after they could sit on the couch together, and Rin would hold Bachira, and brush his hair, and he'd whisper "I love you" into his ear, and it wouldn't fall on deaf ears, and Bachira would say it back.

They would exchange rings one day. The ones they picked out tonight. They would have a future together.

Rin sniffled and backed away from Bachira. He grabbed the gun on the floor and went to grab his backpack, where he could put away the gun, and grab a rope to subdue Bachira with. He hopped into the booth and looked at his bag, and the contents were all over the place. Rin took a deep breath and began to put his things back in, his hand trembling. The echoes of “I love you” filled the space, louder, too loud, until it felt like they were coming from inside his head.

He turned his head, and sure enough, Bachira had crawled after him and was snarling like he was starving to take a bite from Rin. The sound of his joints was unbearable, bone on bone, his mouth twisting open, teeth slick with spit.

"Meguru…" God, it felt like blasphemy to call it by Meguru's name.

"I love you. I love you. I love you."

Rin was wincing at the words. He bent down with his rope and tried to put a loop around Bachira’s torso. Bachira lunged at him, and Rin had to brace his arms to hold him back before he bit Rin.

"Shhh. Shhhh, it's okay, Meguru." Rin spoke through it, like Bachira was crying or lunging out of sadness or anger, and not like he was a monster trying to rip his throat out.

Bachira started climbing onto Rin, and Rin backed up into the wall of the photobooth.

“Bachi—Bachira, stop.” Rin’s voice cracked. His arms shook. Bachira’s teeth gleamed inches from his face.

"You've gotta. Fuck."

What was he thinking?

"I love you. I love you. I love you."

Bachira’s mouth gaped wider, the hinge of his jaw snapping, the sound wet and final. Rin wouldn’t hear that incessant ‘I love you’ ever again. Even if he recovered, his speech would be gone. Rin’s stomach turned.

Rin braced against his chest with his leg, but it only stunned Bachira for a second, and he was on top of Rin again. Rin couldn't help but feel horrified.

"Fuck. Fuck…."

He kicked up, pressing a knee to Bachira’s chest—stunning him only for a second. Bachira came at him again, relentlessly. Rin fumbled for the gun. He couldn’t aim for the head. He wouldn’t. He just needed to stop him for a moment, just long enough to—

"No… No."

Rin was going to get bitten. He was going to get bit, and he would have gone against Bachira's last wishes, were Rin's last thoughts. He couldn't do anything. He was always powerless.

"I'm sorry." Rin wailed. Bachira's jaw dislocated as it grew too large. "I'm sorry!" Rin screamed again, the words shattering in his throat.

Suddenly, Bachira was plucked off of him by an outside force, and then came a single gunshot.

Rin froze. The sound tore through him and echoed long after it stopped. It whooshed in his ears, and suddenly, he couldn’t hear anything but the deafening tinnitus of the reverb. He was dizzy. His chest heaved as he pushed himself up onto his elbows.

Someone had killed Bachira.

"Fuck. You okay, Rinrin?"

Rin’s stomach twisted. His vision blurred red. He was going to fucking kill Shidou Ryusei.

He snatched the gun off the floor. One bullet left.

"Fuck you." He spat. "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you."

Shidou looked at him with a bored face. "Odd way to express gratitude."

Rin’s eye twitched. He flicked the safety off.

“I fucking mean it, roach.”

“Okay~,” Shidou sing-songed, stepping closer. He pressed the barrel of Rin’s gun to his own forehead. “Make it count, yeah? Reunite me with my Sae-chan.”

Rin's hands trembled. His breathing came out in short, broken bursts. His arm shook until it dropped, heavy and useless.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Shidou sighed, quiet, almost pitying.

He stepped back, took off his jacket, and draped it gently over Bachira’s body.

“Sorry, Bachi,” Shidou spoke sadly to the corpse in front of him. Softer than Rin had ever heard him.

Shidou lowered himself beside Rin, back against the wall of the photobooth. Neither of them spoke. The silence wasn’t peaceful, it was thick and suffocating. They weren’t strangers to grief, but it was always worse when the body was still warm. When the air still smelled like gunpowder and blood, and the faint scent of the arms you once made a home in.

They hadn’t spoken at Sae’s funeral either. And maybe, that’s why they never spoke. Maybe Sae’s urn sat between them like a third presence, making words impossible.
And now, here they were again, the same familiar silence, with a different ghost. Only this time, Rin had really convinced himself it wasn't too late.

“If you’re gonna lecture me—” Rin started, his voice hoarse. Fighting was all he had left.

“I’m not gonna fucking lecture you,” Shidou cut in, shaking his head like he was already tired of it.

That made something in Rin snap. Because for once, Rin really felt like he fucked up. For once, he wanted to be yelled at. He deserved to be.

"Why not?"

"Why not? I'm not a fucking monster, Rin."

“I—” Rin’s throat tightened. “All of this… I could’ve avoided it if I’d just listened to you. I didn’t, and now the worst thing happened, and now you can't even lecture me? You lecture me when nothing happens!”

Shidou gave an uneasy breath. "Believe it or not, Rin, it wouldn't make me happy to tell you I told you so.” He paused, eyes heavy on the floor. “And I don't want to be lecturing you, period.” He sighed again. “You’re not wrong for wanting to live a normal life.”

Rin made a face at Shidou, accusatory and incredulous. Shidou looked at him and rubbed his face.

"You know, when Sae died… I thought….” He laughed, quietly, humorless. “I thought I'd be able to grieve him with you. And you know I wouldn't be alone. But that wasn't the case."

Something about the way Shidou was speaking made Rin's spine straighten.

"Because you know, we both lost the most important person in the world to us, and he was the same person."

Shidou worried his bottom lip between his teeth, and for the first time in a long time, Rin could see how much he ached.

"I hated seeing your face. God, you look so much like him. It's cruel. And you hate me. But, you being cold, standoffish, whatever the fuck you call this emo shit of yours… it is probably the kindest form of mercy I'll receive in my life."

"I didn't want you in his life to begin with. It'd be weird for me to switch up just because Sae's not here."

Shidou chuckled, "You're so stubborn, even in death, you can't give him what he wants."

That made Rin grimace. "It'd be fake. Like the way you look out for me. You think that's real? You think you're doing that because you care what happens to me?"

 There was a silence before Shidou continued.

"You know, I used to tell Sae that if he ever were to die, I would kill myself the next second." This, reminding Rin of himself, piqued his interest. "Sae hated that. He told me that I couldn't, and that I'd have to look after you. Of course, I didn't take it that seriously at the time. Too badass and too undefeated for anything to really worry me."

Shidou laughed for a second. "My head was so far up my ass it was unbelievable. I didn't even mind the apocalypse, you know? I thought, if the world had to end for me and Sae to meet, then so be it."

"I don't think us talking, or me looking out for you after Sae's death, is this horrible, disingenuous thing. I think it's sad we couldn't make it happen when he could have witnessed it. But I think us making it happen after is just homage to him—a legacy. That's why I'm hard on you. I want to observe Sae's last wish. Hell, the day I die will be the greatest day of my life, if there's an afterlife. But until then, there's Sae's wish."

"Bachira wanted me to kill him. He saved that last bullet... for me to kill him with it."

"Well, fuck," Shidou exhaled.

"Yeah." Rin could feel himself getting angry again. "And... I would have done it. I would have honored his wish, had you not come out of nowhere and killed him."

"You wouldn't have. And I know Bachira—he would have just wanted you safe. You didn't need to be the one to pull that trigger; it doesn't make you any nobler."

"Why were you even fucking here?" Rin's tone turned accusatory.

"You so don't wanna know."

Rin’s eyes widened. "Were you fucking following me?"

"Obviously."

"For how long?"

"Uh, like most of it. But when you guys were about to fuck, I gave you privacy!"

"We weren’t... we were... not—"

"So, I waited outside one of the cross storefronts, and I gave you a while, you know, to account for the Itoshi endurance I know so well—"

"Gross!"

"But even I was like, this is a little long. So when I came to check, sure enough, you guys were gone. There are like three different exits from the Cheesecake Factory." He trailed off before adding, softer, "Sorry I didn’t make it in time for him." He looked at the lump on the ground that was once Bachira.

Rin sighed. He thought about his next words but ultimately decided to speak them. "He was already bitten. He got bit two days ago."

Shidou’s eyes widened, and he released a shaky breath. "Well then, fortunately, I found you in time..."

"Unfortunately." Rin buried his head in his hands and groaned. He slammed his fist against the photobooth behind him, trying to bleed out his anger. "I didn't even have a fucking chance. I couldn't... we didn't say anything until he was dying. And even now, he's gone... and I couldn't even be the fucking person to do it. I couldn't even say... I couldn't fucking do it."

Shidou stared at Rin for a long moment before exhaling again.

"You know," he started, voice quieter now, "I always knew Sae was out of my league. I had this thought once, that Sae’s the kind of guy who deserves the world. And I’m just the guy who promises it. I told him that."

He huffed a breath that was almost a laugh. "You know what he said?"

Rin stayed silent, waiting.

Shidou’s grin came slow, half disbelieving, and then he laughed. "He said, ‘Fuck the world, Ryusei. I’ll take your promise.’"

Rin frowned, squinting. "Sae said that?"

"I know, right? Sae’s not that suave." Shidou laughed under his breath, eyes gone far away. "Had me kicking my feet and shit."

The way Shidou was smiling was so wide, so bright, like nothing could dim him as long as he had Sae, or memories of Sae, or whatever form Sae existed in. It made Rin’s chest ache. It was a kind of light that didn’t belong here, like Shidou was still living off the warmth of a fire long extinguished.

"All that to say..." Shidou’s voice leveled out again, soft but steady. "We try. That’s all we ever do. We don’t always succeed, but we try. I can’t say for certain I’ll deliver the world, but I sure as hell can promise it, and sometimes, that promise is enough. Maybe there’s another universe where I came two seconds later and you died. Sae would’ve forgiven me for that. Because I promised, and I really tried."

He looked down at Rin. "Bachi would’ve felt the same."

Shidou stood, brushing his palms on his pants. "No one checked for any more fenders, right?"

Rin shook his head no. He doubted there were any, considering the commotion of it all; if there were others around, they’d have come running already.

"Alright. I’m gonna sweep the area," Shidou said. "Then I’ll grab some tablecloths from the Cheesecake Factory, wrap him up proper. You can stay with him, have a moment to say goodbye."

Shidou moved towards the doors, did his check-through, and, as he passed Rin, gave a thumbs-up. Rin hovered over Bachira's body and removed the jacket.

His face was horrific. There was a bullet hole through one side of his head, and his eyes looked crazy, and his jaw was dislocated. It wasn't his adorable, fun, cheerful Bachira. His hand shook as he reached out and closed Bachira’s eyes. They were still wet, like he’d been crying. Then, with painstaking care, Rin tried to lift his jaw, to make him look more like himself again. To restore some small trace of the human he loved.

"I’m so sorry, Meguru," Rin whispered. His fingers trailed down the length of Bachira’s arm, stopping at the mangled bite mark. "I didn’t even say thank you."

Rin's lip wobbled again. "I didn't even say…" Fuck, there it was again. He hadn't even said I love you. He asked him, as he was dying, to return those words, for Rin to say that he loved Bachira, and Rin didn't fucking do it.

And now, there was no one left to hear it.

The words felt hollow now, echoing inside him. What was the point of saying I love you when his world had already ended? So, Rin bit it back. He held them in. He held onto Bachira instead, clutching at what warmth was left.

Rin saw a glint on the ground. It was the ring Bachira had picked out for him. He crawled over and grabbed it. Taking out his own ring, he looked at the two of them in his hand.

"It's only you, Meguru." 

Rin thought of sliding the ring on Bachira's finger, but stopped. The words that Shidou told him echoed back at him, aching in his heart. Bachira's real dying wish, after all, was for Rin to live. To live a long and happy life, and to find love again. 

Rin didn’t know if that was possible. He couldn’t imagine a world bright enough for it. But maybe trying was the closest thing he could offer. Maybe living was its own kind of love.

A candlelit dinner would never be the same with someone else across from him, and Rin knew that—but maybe the idea of trying wasn’t giving Bachira the ring back, but keeping them both close to his heart. So, for that, Rin held onto them. And instead of I love you, he whispered, "I promise."

Shidou returned a few minutes later. Together, they worked in silence, covering Bachira’s body, wrapping him carefully in the sheet. Shidou offered to carry him, but Rin shook his head.

“If you need a break, let me know,” Shidou said softly.

Rin only nodded. He slipped his arms beneath Bachira and lifted him into his arms. This would be the last time Rin would get the chance to hold him, and so he’d carry him until his arms gave out.

Shidou turned away to grab his backpack from near the photobooth, pausing for a moment before following. It took him a second to catch up to Rin. Rin gave him a look, and then the two of them faced forward again.

They began their trek back home.

_

When Rin finally made it home that night, his arms ached from carrying Bachira, his throat was raw from screaming, and his eyes were swollen and burning from crying. His chest felt impossibly heavy, as though it carried a weight no lungs could fully bear, and every step, every breath, reminded him of the emptiness he now carried inside.

He didn’t want to cry anymore, but he found himself counting the seconds to the next wave of sobs. He stared at the window, where the first light of dawn seeped into the room, and thought of how Bachira had appeared there just hours before. The sun was rising.

How cruel it was—that the world moved on. That light would spill over rooftops, birds would still sing, and people would go about their mornings, oblivious to the darkness that had swallowed Rin whole.

He imagined Bachira beside him, laughing, the sunlight haloing his hair. And he thought that one day, far in the future, Rin might watch a sunrise without thinking of Bachira. Days would pass, and the memory of Bachira would soften into a bittersweet ache, proof that time had done what it does best: heal.

But not tonight. And, if it were up to Rin, the sun would stay hidden, the world would remain dim, and his heart would never mend.

There’s this cruel notion that the living must move on—that they grow taller, older, wiser, and eventually forget. But as Rin pressed his face into his pillow that night, the silence of his empty room pressed back harder, and all he could feel was that he had been left behind.

He pulled the two rings from his pocket—one for him, one for Bachira. His hands trembled. A sob tore out of him, muffled by the pillow, as if quiet could make the loss hurt less. But the volume didn’t matter anyway. There were no ears left to hear him.

“I love you, Bachira Meguru.”