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Part 165 of Helltaker Mainline Stories
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Published:
2025-11-01
Updated:
2025-11-07
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7/30
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No Nut November in the Helltaker Home: Think of it as a Wager

Summary:

Given the fact you've tackled the month of November many a time before, you thought you were over it. All the more so with a gaggle of children curtailing you more daring exploits as of late.

Alas, the eldest Demons in your harem have another idea, one that pushes you towards a certain Archangel.

Chapter 1: You're Not Meant to Know

Chapter Text

The excitement is palpable, Lucifer handing a glass of wine to Beelzebub as the latter buzzes in her glee. You have no choice, going along with them as they guide you into the sanctuary that is Lucifer's room, forcing you onto the bed. Thoughts naturally grow to the more sordid, flanked by the certified MILFs that are the oldest of your wives.

“We have a secret,” Beelzebub purrs, a hand on your chest as the other swirls her wine, almost a perfect mimicry of Lucifer.

“You're not meant to know, so your silence is an obligation,” Lucifer chimes in, unwittingly performing the very motion Beelzebub playfully mocks.

“You, uh, could just not tell me,” you point out.

The silence lasts all of three seconds as the pair lock eyes; only to through their heads back in a fit of giggles.

“Micah's finally got it in her head to ask for permission to have a little fun with you,” Beelzebub eagerly explains, taking a sip of wine as Lucifer is all too happy to take over.

“Quite. Being practically sisters, she asked me first, the fly just happened to overhear,” Lucifer continues, earning an irritated buzz for the less than kind nickname. “Having never held a grudge.” Another buzz, louder and with a roll of the eyes. “I gave her my blessing. Of course, she needs everyone's permission, not just mine.” How easily she has your heart skipping a beat with the fluttering of her lashes. “You don't belong just to me, I am aware.”

“Wait, Micah's going to ask everyone? Shouldn't we give them a heads-up?” you ask, raising a brow. Quickly forgotten as the pair begin massaging your chest.

“Another caveat,” Beelzebub says, downing the last of her glass so she can focus on you. “No one gets a warning.”

“And,” Lucifer declares boldly, almost chuckling. “She has until the end of the month. Otherwise, she has to start again!”

You let her words sink in, narrowing your eyes as you shake your head. “Why?”

“You don't know her like I do,” Lucifer says, free hand poking you on the nose. “She'll take years otherwise.”

“Come on, I'm sure-”

“Darling,” Beelzebub cuts you off, nuzzling against your cheek as she lets her breasts press against your chest, Lucifer huffing at the display. “She has all the time in the universe, remember?”

Right. It's far too easy to forget how you're the only human in the house. Well, if you don't count your recent additions, only being half and all.

The hows and the whys are soon an afterthought, submitting to Beelzebub and Lucifer's pampering. Just as things take a turn for the hot and heavy, they refuse to cross that barrier.

“Oh, and no sex until Micah proposes!” Lucifer blurts out, cheeks turning crimson for it.

“I refuse,” you state simply, Beelzebub all giggles as you grab her buttocks.

Alas, even Beelzebub stops you from going too far. “Sorry dear, no distractions.” She tilts her head, hair naturally moving away from her face as she does. “We need you rooting for her, after all.”

You're getting real mixed messages, somehow forced to hold your lust at bay every year despite no one truly enjoying it. At least you get some cuddles out of it, and apparently a crusading Micah.

Wait, did everyone know you were just as sweet on Micah as she was you? Did you play the fool for nothing?

Fuck.

Chapter 2: Azazel

Chapter Text

“Congratulations!” Azazel cheers, wrapping you up in a warm embrace.

Instinctively, you wrap her up in kind, letting her hair fill your nostrils as she nuzzles close. How loving she can be, squeezing you tight as she practically vibrates in excitement.

“Love you, Az',” you respond with a chuckle, rubbing the small of her back and earning a sound akin to purring. “But what have I done?”

“H-have you not heard?” she asks, innocent as can be, pulling away just enough to look into your eyes with those glorious, blue pearls of hers.

“Give me a clue.”

“Um, involving Ms. Micah?”

“Oh, that.” Your muscles stiffen. “Has she spoken to everyone already?”

“Not yet,” Azazel confirms with a smile. “But she gave me the good news this very morning! Of course, I gave my blessing.” Her features soften, looking every bit a cautious puppy. “T-that is, you are okay with it, correct?”

Strangely, you are. She may not sport the horns of your usual crowd, but it's not like you haven't made exceptions before. It feels as if she's always been on your side, at least to a certain degree. Since she's moved in, she's only seemed softer as time goes on. You almost want to kick yourself for not seeing something there before!

“Silence isn't usually good,” Azazel breaks you free from your thoughts, a nervous chuckle lacing her words.

“Sorry,” you quickly respond, grip on her loosening as she rests against you with ease. “I'm happy with the idea if she is.”

She sighs, happy to close her eyes and enjoy you for a moment longer. “A relief to hear it.”

You hope for Micah's sake the rest of your girls are as easy to convince...

Chapter 3: A Gal in Uniform

Chapter Text

You're almost dazzled by the sight of Micah in uniform. She's not donned it in some time. In full regalia, too, complete with hat and jacket. The very image of an Archangel, commander of Heaven's forces. Now, in her current light? A certified beauty.

Damn, it really does feel like you're doing a disservice to the girls, even with their blessing.

“Wow,” you let slip, Micah stiffening as she spins on her heel. A single medal is on proud display, gold and in the shape of a holy cross. “The uniform looks good as ever.”

Her cheeks glow a bright pink as she takes a deep breath. Standing at attention, she nods. “Thank you,” she responds, slipping at ease as her legs spread, arms behind her back in the still formal pose. “I wouldn't mind seeing you in yours.” There's a pause as she tilts her head, lips almost quivering. Probably your imagination. “That is, if you still have it?”

“A gift like that? Of course I do,” you confirm. “Maybe you'd like to see me in it after you've spoken to everyone?” A bit heavy-handed, but it earns a chuckle.

“Consider it an order.”

You don't need to say a word, letting her brush past you with a certain spring in her step. Now, you've still got coffee to prepare...

Chapter 4: Generic

Chapter Text

Alright, Generic has a track record for showing you up at breakfast time. Micah, however, does not. Yet, here she stands, spatula in hand as she monitors a pan filled with frying eggs.

“Are you certain this is acceptable?” Micah asks, Generic's sigh all the indication you need to know how often she must have asked.

“Of course. A little help in the kitchen, and I'll give you my blessing.” So sincere, Generic can't help but close her eyes, sniffing the various food cooking.

“A little is correct. Monitoring the eggs alone, are you sure you do not wish to delegate more?” As she speaks, she carefully prods one of the frying eggs, shaking her head as the pan sizzles.

“Not at all. Besides, we'll rarely have to do cooking so early.”

“Damn right,” you agree, ignoring the fact Micah suddenly tenses. “You still like my pancakes, right?”

“Of course!”

“Then, why do you always race me to the kitchen?” Your tone is playful, yet you feel it's still a valid point.

“Because,” Generic begins, manning her pans with ease even as she looks over her shoulder. “I want to do nice things for you, too.”

“Gen'.”

“I-I am also on board with this plan,” Micah almost mumbles, every other syllable awkwardly louder than the rest.

It's an adorable sentiment. One over-shadowed as her attire dawns on you. “Is that my apron?”

You don't get an answer, Generic expertly covering for the blushing Micah as she ushers you out of the kitchen. Banned until breakfast is served, apparently. The cheek...

Chapter 5: Zdrada

Chapter Text

She must know how easily she tantalizes you, surely? Malina boldly slips into your personal space, the scent of stale vodka hardly off-putting. Besides, you know Judgement will remedy it the moment she tries to slip in bed like that. You can't help but wrap arms around her waist, enjoying just how soft she is in every sense of the word.

Usually, she's all for it. Not today, slipping out of your grip with ease.

“Sorry, need a favour,” she explains simply.

Though you sigh, you're pretty sure you avoid pouting. “What's up?”

“Could you stop my sister from royally pissing off the Archangel?”

“Why would anyone-” no, you're stopping there. Zdrada's willing to annoy anyone if she thinks it's funny or kinky or just for the Hell of it, actually. “Where?”

Malina doesn't answer, doesn't have to. Trusting you'll follow she exits the room, her tail unusually rigid as she makes her way to the back garden. Sure enough, Zdrada's sitting on a bench, barely acknowledging Micah as she puffs away on a cigarette.

It took a while, but at least she only smokes outdoors nowadays. Most of the time.

Rarely.

“Hey,” Zdrada purrs as she spots you, billowing smoke like a chimney. “Never gonna guess what Boss Angel here asked!”

“Micah, please,” Micah says calmly. She does a wonderful job of putting up a facade of indifference, her twitching brow about the only giveaway she's about ready to drop it.

“Micah here wants my permission to blo-”

As Micah's cheeks darken and her eyes narrow in pure anger, Malina saves the day with her hand over her sister's mouth. It's hardly reassuring when Zdrada's muffled cackling fills the air. Honestly, there's only one real remedy to this situation. A tactical retreat.

With Malina still silencing Zdrada, you approach Micah. She raises a quizzical brow, but certainly seems more at ease dealing with you than the resident Bitch Demon. You love her to bits, and she has her softer side. Just damned if she's showing it off right now.

“Let's have a quick cup of coffee or something,” you suggest, already steering the resident Archangel towards the house.

“I was not finished-”

“Trust me,” you cut her short, earning a huff. “You might learn something.”

Well, her interest is certainly piqued. More importantly, you'd rather Zdrada be annoyed at Micah than the other way around, absconding for the time being. That, and you really do have a trick for getting an agreement with her...

Chapter 6: A Husband's duty

Chapter Text

“Y-you really don't have to do this,” Generic mumbles, embarrassment abundantly clear as she stammers. That's ignoring her face being lit up like a tomato!

“Consider it a thanks, for your blessing,” Micah retorts, all business as she works away.

For your part, the sight is equal parts endearing as it is arousing. Who can fault you? Micah in nothing but a vest and jeans and Generic without anything on from the waist up. Her breasts draw your eye, despite having seen them plenty of times before. Soft and slightly swollen, it's nothing compared to her belly. Growing by the day, pink marks like veins only emphasize the sudden growth.

Oh, right, Micah.

With a tender touch, she massages oil around Generic's tummy. A clear sheen is left in the wake of her fingers, digging into her flesh as she leaves not an inch unblemished.

Scratch your initial thought, jealousy runs rampant.

Clearing your throat as you approach, Micah doesn't so much as pause as Generic flashes you a smile.

“Hello, dear,” she greets, just shy of a whisper.

“Hey,” you respond happily enough, awkwardly shuffling on your feet. “Shouldn't this be my job?”

Micah scoffs, shaking her head. “While I'm sure your paternal instincts are aflame right now, you are in no state.”

“Micah, explain properly,” Generic chastises, her giggle filling in the gaps.

“That is,” Micah begins anew, finally pausing as she looks up at you. Huh, her hair is slightly messy, that's not like her. “I do not doubt your desire to assist your wife. The evidence of your husbandly nature is abundant. What I doubt is your ability to do so without plunging into a lust-fuelled frenzy of carnal delight.”

You so desperately want to argue, biting your tongue. She has a point, annoyingly. Any time touching Generic, even just a hug, you're likely to whisk her off to bed a moment later. Despite the month's stipulation, something tells you she'd be all for it.

“Silence is as valid a method as conceding as any. Thank you.”

“Yeah,” you mumble, holding back the urge to pat her on the shoulder. “Just treat her well, okay?”

Micah nods solemnly, even as Generic laughs.

“Darling,” she purrs, eyelids all heavy, even as they glow with the mischievousness of an imp. “The Archangel here won't steal me away. If anything, she's just making sure she's earned my-”

“Silence!” Micah snaps, the conversation brought to a swift end as you're banished...

Chapter 7: Puppies?

Chapter Text

“Cerberus,” you finally say, putting your spatula down as you look at the Triple Demon, all covered in batter and chocolate. “It's almost noon, you've got to stop eating.”

“Hungy!” “Hangry!” the second growls over the first. The third? Well, she's too busy nibbling on the second body's ear to speak.

“How? At this rate, I'll need to make a trip to the-”

“Honestly,” Lucifer cuts you short, happily shaking her hips as she enters the kitchen. Practically ignoring you, she heads to the fridge, humming as she peruses the contents. “If you think this is problematic, just wait until you pump her full of pups.”

Silence, the seconds ticking down in time with your pulsing heart. Lucifer's shit eating smirk as she grabs the last slice of apple pie, tail wagging away.

“Why?” you ask, earning a sweet, almost innocent chuckle.

“I'm the Devil, darling. Sometimes you forget that.” With a wink and a wave, she nibbles on her treat as she walks away.

Leaving you alone as you lock eyes with the salivating Cerberus, a new hunger awoken.

Nope, not chancing it.

“Judgement!” you call, back-pedalling as the sound of chains rattle throughout the house...

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