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JP came back to the team more frigid and ornery than he had been when he left. Ruben gave JP the courtesy of fanfare when he arrived for Spa’s free practice. In turn, he received a petulant child who said next to nothing to anyone, even when directly spoken to. He disappeared between FP1 and FP2, skipping out on his PR requirements and a team meeting to discuss the data collected. After FP2, JP gave the bare minimum feedback before vanishing to who knows where, again ignoring his PR duties and making Lisbeth’s life harder. 

On Saturday, JP arrived late and then did terribly during FP3. He received a phone call that held him up during the entirety of qualifying prep. He only moseyed back twenty minutes before qualifying began. When Kate tried to debrief him on what had happened, he stonewalled her.

“Who raised this punk?” Sonny said to Ruben, even though Sonny knew the answer. Interestingly enough, neither Bernadette nor Cash made the trip with JP. Was this how he behaved without supervision?

Ruben sighed. “He’s just struggling to adjust to being back. He might still be in pain, too. Just put up with it for now.”

“He’s being a dickhead to Kate, Ruben. Kate. What has she done to him?”

Ruben looked thoughtful. “If it’s a problem after this weekend, then I will talk to him.”

“You didn’t need to bring him back,” Sonny groused. “Luca’s doing perfectly fine.”

Luca only finished one of his three races, and not in the points. JP, however, pulled off P6 in Q3. It was hard to argue with results.

He was quiet again during the debriefing and skipped out on a team sponsor event. Sonny gave Ruben a frustrated look. He shrugged back. “Let’s see how he performs tomorrow. If it’s not good, then…I’ll consider putting Luca back in.”

During the race, JP ran him off the track.

He claimed that it was an accident trying to overtake Sonny, but Sonny knew better. JP was a clown if he thought Sonny was going to roll over and allow him to wreck Ruben’s team. He found JP exiting the paddock, heading towards the media. Sonny shoved him into the wall. “You pull that shit again, I will knock your teeth out.”

JP laughed at him. “No one gets past us without a fight, right?”

“Oh, is this funny? You think you got a seat next year? Cuz you just cut your chances in half. That’s how dumb you are!”

JP laughed harder, doubling over as if Sonny said the funniest thing he’d ever heard. “I don’t care!”

The words Sonny were already processing before JP spoke, died on his tongue. “What do you mean, you don’t care?”

“I don’t fucking care, you heard me.”

Sonny became even more agitated at that and punched JP in the back as he moved past him. “Fine, if you don’t give a shit about your career, then fine! But do not sabotage Ruben after he’s given you a chance. Do not sabotage everyone else here with you!”

JP turned to Sonny, eyes dark. Sonny braced himself for a hit that never came. Instead, JP let out a deranged laugh. “Thanks, coach!” he giggled, skipping off.

JP was supposed to do post-race interviews. He didn’t make it there. After the race, JP up and left Belgium.

Sonny knew visiting JP was ill-advised. Ruben told him as much, even as he handed over his address. But after the stunts he pulled over the weekend, Sonny needed answers. That, or their delayed fistfight. Regardless, he wanted to knock sense into JP. 

There were dozens of cars outside of JP’s building when Sonny arrived—at least twenty. Was the little shit partying days after he gave up on all his responsibilities? Sonny rang the bell and waited for someone to trek down from the penthouse to let him in. A familiar and kind-looking woman opened the door, a grim smile on her face. “Ah! You’re Sonny Hayes, yes?”

Sonny nodded. “Yeah, that’s me. You’re…,” Sonny stared at her for a bit longer before things clicked into place. “Cash’s mother, correct?”

“That’s me!” she chirped. “You can call me Saundra. Come on in!”

Thankfully, there was an elevator in the six-story building. When the doors opened up to the top floor, there were a bunch of people sitting around, eating, and chatting quietly. Jazz played softly in the background, and a man moved around the living room, handing out drinks. It wasn’t the party Sonny imagined JP throwing, but it was a party nonetheless. “Joshua!” Saundra yelled, cutting through the polite atmosphere. “Your friend is here!”

Joshua came lumbering over a minute later. “What friend?” he muttered, before locking eyes with Sonny. His gaze turned hard. “Get out!”

“That’s no way to talk to your teammate,” Saundra chided. “He came all the way here for you. Be kind.”

“He’s here for his own self-interests,” JP told her, upset. “How’d you even get my address?”

“Ruben,” Sonny answered distractedly, checking around the room for Bernadette.

“I’m reporting you both to HR; this is harassment.”

“That’s how I felt about your shitty-ass behavior at Spa. You’re a lost cause. Where is your mother? I want to take this up with her. Clearly, she’s the only person you listen to.”

The room was silent at that, all eyes turning towards their little group. Saundra looked confused, her eyes darting between JP and him. Brief flashes of hurt flickered across JP’s face before he schooled them down.

“She’s dead,” he said emotionlessly. “Can you go now?”

Sonny chuckled nervously. “Don’t say shit like that, JP. What’s wrong with you?”

Cash rounded the corner, staring at Sonny awkwardly. “Hello, Uncle Sonny! What brings you by?”

“I wanted to talk to someone—you or Bernadette—about JP’s behavior at the race, but, uh…” Sonny looked around the room more carefully. White chrysanthemums and carnations were on every surface. There was a large portrait of Bernadette propped up on the hanging fireplace. Most guests were dressed in black— JP, Saundra, and Cash included. All of the air left Sonny’s lungs.

Bernadette was dead. Sonny felt like a dick.

“Oh my god, JP. I’m so sorry, I didn’t know. I—when did she pass?”

JP stared at him, eyes cold. “Wednesday. I don’t want you here. Go.”

“And you still came to Spa? You didn’t have to come!”

Cash seemed flabbergasted. “Did Josh not inform you that Auntie died?”

“No! This is the first I’ve heard about it!”

“It’s not his business,” JP complained. “It’s not anyone’s…”

No one had anything to say to that. Eventually, Saundra offered up, “Joshua, why don’t you get some air? Take a break. Walk Sonny back to his car.”

JP looked back at the party—wake. It was a wake. Then back to Sonny. “Fine,” he said spitefully. “I’ll be back soon.”

On the ride down, JP looked sad and small. Once they were outside, Sonny said, “Look, man, I’m really sorry. I didn’t know. I wouldn’t have come here if I knew. My condolences.”

“Where’s your car?”

“I parked a few blocks away,” Sonny lied. He began leading JP in the wrong direction. Thankfully, he drudged after Sonny, no questions asked. “Have you informed management about this?”

“No.”

“Are you planning to?”

“No.”

Sonny sighed. “I can’t tell you what to do, but I think you should tell the team. We, well, I thought you were being a dick over the weekend. If we knew, we could have accommodated you. You didn’t even have to come; no one would be mad if you extended your leave. Jesus, JP, why didn’t you tell us?”

“I wanted my seat,” he muttered. 

Sonny thought he didn’t understand him, but he did. He’d been the same when his mom died. Racing, and then gambling, had been all he had. People processed grief differently, and Spa was two days after Bernadette passed. Sonny didn’t blame JP for using the race as a distraction or for just wanting to run away. “I get that. No one’s going to take it from you.”

JP scowled at him. “You told Ruben he shouldn’t have brought me back. If I hadn’t come back when I did, my seat would have been given to Luca permanently, and everyone would have forgotten about me. But it doesn’t even matter; I don’t give a shit. Luca can have my seat for all I care. Why did you park so far away?”

Sonny wasn’t sure which part of that to address first, so he started with the easiest. “Oh, I parked over there, near that park, I think.” When they got to the park, Sonny plopped himself down on the nearest bench. “Actually, we went in the wrong direction. Oopsy-daisy.”

JP kicked the bench, upset. “Find your own way back, old man! I can’t believe you’re wasting my time like this.”

Sonny patted the space next to him. “Take a seat with me, boyo. If you leave now and I get lost, I’ll just come back to your place. I’m sure Ms. Saundra will let me in again.”

“Fuck you,” JP snapped, throwing himself down on the bench. He crossed his arms and pouted. 

“I was frustrated by your attitude,” Sonny explained. “I thought, ‘JP’s getting the chance to come back to the team. Other drivers would have been quietly released from their contracts if they were as badly injured as he was, and here he is, being ungrateful about it.’ I thought you were being a brat. I didn’t consider that Bernadette had passed away, JP. Believe me, I wouldn’t have said that if I knew. I’m sorry you overheard that, and I’m sorry I said it.”

The pair sat in silence, watching children play, oblivious to the pain in the world. Sonny took it as a sign that JP didn’t get up and run away, however, and let the silence cover them. He caught JP staring at the children’s parents multiple times, eyes watering. 

“I…I had to plan,” JP slowly admitted. His voice sounded heavy, and tears pricked at his eyes. “I was busy. I had to get an autopsy done, get my mum cremated, and plan her wake. I’ve never had to do this before, and I got told no a lot because I wasn’t there to do it in person. It was a shitton of phone calls, so I guess I wasn’t as present as I should have been. I also didn’t want to talk to the media in case they found out…”

Sonny’s heart ached for him. “Yeah, it’s hard. I had to bury my ma, and I was still twice your age when that happened. I can’t imagine.”

“It’s hard,” JP concurred. “And the craziest part is, the person I’d ask all this stuff to is the one who’s dead.” He started to cry, so Sonny gave him the space to. “I keep fucking up everything. My mum did everything for me, so I don’t know how. I almost missed the flight to Liege because Mum always called to wake me up.” 

“Is there anyone who can help you, going forward?”

JP scrubbed his face with his sleeves. “Um. Cash, I guess. He stayed back so he and his mum could help handle in-person stuff.”

“That’s good,” Sonny said, feeling a bit relieved. “You’ve got family who can help. And Cash is always with you. And of course, there’s the team. It’ll be hard, but you have a support system.”

“I don’t have any family now,” JP said drolly. “And the team isn’t my support system. We won’t even exist in two months.”

JP was very good at dropping emotionally charged statements one after the other. Sonny was still trying to untangle what he said on the walk over. “Cash is your cousin?”

“No?”

Sonny felt gaslit. “Don’t do this, man. You were the one who said he was your cousin! I’ve heard him call Bernadette ‘auntie’ before.”

“No, I didn’t.” Then JP pondered it. “That’s just what Cash does. He called you ‘uncle’ earlier, and I’m more related to the King than you are to him. Anyway, Ms. Saundra’s my mum’s best friend, so we kinda grew up together. In a sense, he is my cousin. But not biologically. It was just me and my mum.”

“What about your dad?” Sonny asked before realizing that it might be impolite to ask.

“He died when I was thirteen.”

“Shit, JP. I’m so sorry.”

JP turned to him, tears still flowing freely. He bore a tight smile on his otherwise sad face. “You wanna hear a fun fact?”

People who asked that never had ‘fun’ facts. “Yeah, sure.”

JP scrolled through pictures on his phone before finding what he was looking for. He showed it to Sonny. It was a picture of a little JP, along with Bernadette, a man he assumed was JP’s father, and a young adult male. “Is this one of your actual cousins?”

“Nah, he’s my brother.”

Didn’t he say… Sonny thought. Oh, jeez.

“He died too,” JP revealed, in case Sonny hadn’t figured it out. “Now, it’s only me.”

Sonny should have asked, but his body moved on its own accord. He pulled JP into a hug, crushing him against his body. JP didn’t hug back, but he didn’t protest it either.

“I’m so sorry this is happening to you, JP.”

“Hm. Thanks…”

Sonny pulled away and dug into his front pocket. He pulled out a handkerchief and handed it to JP. He stared at Sonny as if he were an alien. “You know what a handkerchief is, don’t you? You wipe your face with it. Go on; it’s clean. Gets washed every time I do laundry.”

“Why are you just carrying this around?” JP asked gravely. “Do you go trolling around, looking for maidens in trouble to extend your cloth to? Do you also have a squire and horse waiting for you? God, how old are you?”

Sonny laughed despite himself. “Yep, that’s exactly what I do. And it looks like I’ve found one.” 

JP harrumphed and blotted his eyes with it. “I should probably get back. It’s rude of me to leave Ms. Saundra with my guests for so long.”

They began the walk back to JP’s townhouse. “What did you mean by everyone will forget about you?”

“Hm? Oh. The longer I’m not in the car, the less viable I become to both teams and fans. Especially with you around. Everyone loves you. A lot more than they like me.”

“You have your fans,” Sonny mumbled.

“They don’t make cutouts of my face and bring them to races.”

“Well. Just don’t pay attention to that stuff, okay? You’re an incredible driver, no matter what; other teams will be interested in you. Ruben’s interested in you. You have APX.”

“Didn’t you just say I cut my chances for a seat in half by veering into you?”

Sonny’s lips pursed into a thin line. God, JP had a good memory. “Sorry.”

“Whatever. I don’t care. Racing isn’t fun anymore. You’d be better off with Luca going forward.”

“If you feel this way, then why’d you come back?”

JP looked conflicted. “I just wanted to make sure,” he settled on. “I needed to see.”

Sonny thought that was JP’s grief talking. “Okay. I understand. But there are two more races left. Do you think you can hold on until then?”

“Why not?” JP said lackadaisically. “I’d get sued to hell and back if I didn’t show, anyway.”

They made it to Sonny’s truck, which was only a block over from JP’s house. JP looked like an angry puppy trying to glower at Sonny, but he ignored him. “JP, if you need anything, you can reach out to me.”

“You don’t have to be nice just because you pity me.”

“That’s not it,” Sonny told him. He gestured for JP to give him his phone. They didn’t have each other’s contact information, an oversight Sonny would correct now. “You shouldn’t have to deal with this alone. I care about you. The team cares about you. It’s okay to ask for help.”

“You hardly know me,” JP retorted as he handed over his phone. “And no one on the team cares, man. So please don’t go running your mouth to them.”

Sonny couldn’t fathom why JP would think that. “I’m serious. If you need anything, I’ll come. Just call me.”

“Sure. Get home safe.”

When Sonny arrived home, he noticed texts from JP. 

Sonny was awoken by his phone ringing. “What’s up, JP?”

“Are you free this morning?”

Sitting up, Sonny yawned and scratched his side. “Yeah, I can be. What do you need?”

Sonny was outside JP’s place two hours later. JP came out looking haggard and carrying a mess of folders. They took JP’s car to a law firm in Mayfair. Silently, they entered the office. Sonny followed JP all the way to the door of a large conference room where he was needed. Only JP was allowed in, so Sonny sat outside and waited. JP was supposed to look over his mother’s will with Saundra. However, she was a surgeon and was called in minutes before JP called Sonny. She was only going for moral support, however, and Sonny could (try to) sufficiently provide that.

Moments later, many suits walked into the room after JP. When they exited two hours later, JP looked worse for wear. One of the suits—JP’s lawyer, Sonny presumed—gave his shoulder a friendly squeeze before continuing down the hallway with the other suits.

“So, is everything finished? Is it all…executed?”

JP shook his head. “No, they haven’t even begun. It’s going to take months before it’s finished.”

“What was all that? It seemed official.”

“Just talking about assets and stuff. I don’t really know; it was a blur.”

They went to a nearby cafe afterwards because JP was determined to give him that lemon cake. “I should have invited you up,” JP remarked, frowning, as he held the cake in his cheek like it was something foul. “Ms. Saundra’s cake is better than this, and the tea’s a bit wretched, isn’t it?” Despite that, he shoveled another forkful into his mouth. 

Sonny thought the cake was quite nice. “I bet it was.”

“I’ll ask her for her recipe and make you one, since you’re helping me. Of course, Mum’s was even better than hers…I should have paid more attention when Mum tried teaching me how to cook.” JP scrubbed a hand over his tired face, sighing as he dropped his hand onto the table. “I won’t ever taste her cooking again, and it’s because I was lazy.”

“Don’t say that,” Sonny said softly. 

“It’s true: my mum did everything for me and I took it for granted.”

“Did you live with your mother?” Sonny asked him.

“Uh, no, I guess. I moved out earlier this year. But Mum was always at my place and had been staying with me after the accident. So between that and all the traveling, it felt like I never left.”

“Do you know what happened?”

“No, that’s why I ordered an autopsy,” JP lamented. “She didn’t have any prior health conditions. She was just…gone. I found her when I woke up. I don’t know how long she’d been dead. What if she—?” JP abruptly stopped talking, electing to trace the scars on the back of his hands instead.

“We don’t have to talk about it,” Sonny blurted. JP nodded.

“Do you have any plans for the evening?” JP asked him. When Sonny shook his head, he meekly followed up with, “Do you think you can come with me to my mum’s place? I want to get a few things, and Cash isn’t free for a few days. I…I don’t want to go alone.”

“Of course.”

They drove to what felt like the other side of London. High-rises and urban sprawl gave way to a quiet residential neighborhood with large houses. JP pulled into the large driveway of a Victorian home situated on the river. Sonny whistled.

“Did you grow up here?” Sonny asked him. 

“Yeah.”

They didn’t call F1 a rich man’s sport for no reason. Sonny followed JP through the house to Bernadette’s bedroom. Along the way, Sonny saw little things that made the house feel lived-in. A cardigan Sonny had seen Bernadette wearing was tossed over a chair in the living room. A forgotten mug with a bit of coffee still in it sat on a console table. Pairs of shoes Bernadette had toed off were in front of the door. If Sonny noticed these things, then he could only imagine how JP was feeling.

Sonny stood by as JP dug through his mother’s possessions. He took jewelry, documents, perfumes, and a few of her clothes. He found a box in her closet filled with old family photos. He began to cry, so Sonny left him alone and instead went back downstairs. Sonny went to the kitchen and emptied the fridge, and tossed out the trash, saving JP from the hell of finding moldy food later. When JP finished an hour later, Sonny was in the shaded garden, watering the plants, just to have something to do.

“Thank you so much,” JP told him. “Let me treat you to dinner.”

“I didn’t do anything. But sure.”

Dinner was a quiet affair. Afterwards, JP convinced Sonny to stay over, so he wouldn’t be driving so late at night. Sonny suspected he didn’t want to be alone. “I won’t give you the room mum died in,” JP said, eyes dull.

“I figured you wouldn’t…”

“You can have my bed, and I’ll take the sofa.”

In the morning, JP politely asked for a bit of space. Sonny was glad to give it to him.

“Ruben, I have a secret and it’s tearing me up inside.”

Ruben looked away from his computer and huffed. “Is it your secret or someone else’s?”

Sonny tossed a tennis ball into the air, narrowly catching it before it hit him in the face. “Someone else’s, naturally.”

Ruben went back to work, scribbling notes as he looked at his computer. “Yes, ‘naturally’. Should you be telling me this?”

“Actually, yes,” Sonny admitted. “Shoulda told you a few days ago, the moment I found out. But you gotta promise me you won’t be like me and have loose lips. I don’t want it getting back to JP that I blabbed to everyone.”

Ruben raised an eyebrow at that. “So it’s Joshua’s secret?”

Sonny tossed and caught the ball. “Yep.”

“And you needed to tell me this, but Joshua doesn’t want it getting out?”

He caught it. “Right.”

Ruben groaned. “Get to it then.”

The ball missed Sonny’s hand, smacking him in the face. “Bernadette died.”

Ruben blanched, dropping the pen in his hand. “Excuse me? Sonny, what are you saying?”

“His mom died last week, and he hasn’t told anyone. Doesn’t want to tell anyone. I wanna say I can respect his wishes, but I can’t. He’s hurting, and he only has a few people around to help him.”

Ruben leaned back in his seat, stunned. “Last week? When?”

“Wednesday. And then he came to the race. That’s why he was acting dodgy.”

“Why didn’t he inform me? He didn’t need to come!”

Sonny sighed, rubbing his sore cheek. “I don’t know what specifically went on his head when he made that decision, but. He’s lost his entire family, Ruben. He's all alone, so he’s guarded. He’s also ready to assume the worst in people. He thinks you wouldn’t care.”

“I care,” Ruben said weakly. “Why wouldn’t I care?”

Sonny shrugged. “He’s checked out. He was talking about quitting racing altogether. He told me he’ll finish the rest of the season, but maybe bring Luca just in case.”

“Right,” Ruben nodded, deep in thought. “Understandable.”

“He’s jumping the gun, I think. He still loves it, y’know. He's just hurting right now. And not having anyone around probably sucks the excitement outta it. Bernadette was his biggest cheerleader, so…”

“I’ll do my best to support him going forward,” Ruben pledged.

“You don’t know about this,” Sonny reminded. “Let’s do what we can, but I didn’t tell you jack.”

“Right, you're right.” Ruben removed his glasses and slumped in his seat. “Dear God, what am I going to do about this?”

“Let’s see how Vegas goes first,” Sonny suggested. “We can go from there.”

In Las Vegas, JP behaved similarly to Spa. Sonny was just glad he came. JP hadn’t even packed when Sonny went to pick him up, hadn’t gotten out of bed. So Sonny tried to reward him by having Ruben get him out of his PR commitments. That meant Sonny had to take them over for him, something he was more than willing to do. 

After qualifying finished, Kate asked him out. Sonny stopped by JP’s room on the way, just to see if he also got an invite. It took JP five minutes to answer the door—which Sonny thought was only opened so JP could check to see if he had left—and he was in pajamas. Sonny forced him into something halfway decent and out of the room.

“So, Joshua. How are you these days?” Kate probed.

They sat around a table, playing poker. Conversation was stilted, the way it was bound to be when a third of the participants didn’t participate. JP chose to stare at his hand instead. “I’m fine, Kate. Thank you. How about you?”

“Well, that sounded terribly rehearsed,” Kate commented. “You sure you’re alright?”

Sonny quickly swiped his hand under his chin, mouthing to Kate to shut up. If she got the hint, she ignored it. 

“How’s your mum these days?” she trudged on. “She didn’t come to Belgium either. Cash also isn’t here.”

JP played his hand. High card. “I fired him.”

A noise of shock escaped past Sonny’s lips. “Jesus Christ, JP.”

Kate gasped, equally as surprised. “Why would you do that?”

“I don’t want him around anymore.”

There JP went again, making strange and loaded statements. He stood up and walked away. 

Kate turned to Sonny, shocked. “What was that about?” Sonny sighed. Kate narrowed her eyes at him. “You know something, don’t you? Out with it.”

“I’ll…tell you later. Eventually. Or, I’ll get JP to tell you, I promise.” Sonny dashed after him. He found JP waiting for an elevator, eyes glistening as he stared up at the floor counter. “She’s only asking because she’s worried about you.”

“She’s asking because she’s nosy,” JP corrected. “She doesn’t care. Just talking to talk.”

“You’ve been working together all season. Do you really think Kate doesn’t care about you?”

JP bit his lip and shrugged. He turned away from Sonny, trying to hide the fact that he was crying. Sonny grabbed JP by the shoulders and dragged the flailing younger man out of the hotel. He didn’t stop until he tossed JP into a circular restaurant booth. A waitress came over and all but tossed menus at them before stomping away. The tears in JP’s eyes momentarily receded as he marveled at the almanac-sized menu he was given. “Where are we?”

“The Cheesecake Factory.”

Sonny waited until they placed an order before speaking to JP. “Why did you fire Cash?”

“I told you already. I don’t want him around.”

“He’s your manager, JP. You need a manager.” 

“You don’t have a manager and you’re doing fine,” JP pointed out. “Besides. Two more races and I’m a free agent. I don’t need him at this point.”

Sonny leaned across the table and whispered, “He’s your friend. You need him. It goes deeper than managerial bullshit, and you know that.”

“You wouldn’t get it,” JP muttered, arms folded and sliding down the booth like a kid who didn’t get his way. “You don’t understand.”

Sonny sat back down. “Then explain it to me.”

JP sat forward, putting his arms on the table, causing the cutlery to shake. “I’m cursed. If Cash sticks around, it's going to go after him, too.”

There was no getting used to the things that came from JP’s mouth. “Maybe expound upon that.”

JP looked pained. “Anyone I’m close with…Anyone I like. They’ll drop dead. It’s always been like this. Dad, Mum, Benny. They all left me. My best mate in primary school…he got sick and died. My best mate in secondary school died in a car accident. I had a kitten that ate a piece of glass and died, Sonny. Even this fucking team is dying! I don’t want Cash to die.” JP’s lip quivered. In a small, broken voice, he sobbed, “I’m bad luck. I’m not anyone worth being around.”

Sonny slid around the booth and pulled JP into his arms. He let JP cry on his shoulder as he rubbed his back, trying to console him. “There, there, Joshua. Let it all out.

The waitress came with their food. She took stock of them—JP, crying, and Sonny, soothing him like he was a child—and turned back around.

“You shouldn’t bother with me,” JP whispered into his shoulder. “If you keep at it, you’re going to die, too.”

“Aw, does that mean you care about me?” Sonny joked. “Well, I’m not going anywhere, so get used to me.”

JP pulled away from him and fished in his pocket. He pulled out Sonny’s handkerchief and wiped his face with it before pocketing it again. “Whatever, man, it’s your funeral.”

Sonny snorted.

“It’s dumb, isn’t it?” JP mused. “But that’s just how I feel.”

“When you’re unable to shake me and nothing happens, you’re going to see how not real your curse is. And one day, hopefully, you’ll be able to open up to the rest of the team, too. They do care, JP. And I think you care about them.”

“I don’t,” JP frowned. “If I start doing that, they’ll all die. You wouldn’t be saying this if Ruben were the one dying.”

“Ruben won’t die,” Sonny commented lightly, picking up a menu. “He has the best health insurance in the world. He’ll outlive us all.”

JP cracked a smile. Sonny considered that a small victory. “Okay, there’s no point in coming here and not getting cheesecake. Order something…”

Sonny didn’t see JP after his surgery. While he hoped JP would visit him with the team, he understood why he didn’t. It wasn’t even twenty-four hours ago that he’d told JP that his curse wasn’t real and that he wouldn’t be able to get rid of him. Now, here he was, laid up in a hospital room after a horrific accident. JP was probably spooked.

“No one drives forever, Sonny. Not even you.”

Ruben had just finished ripping Sonny a new asshole before firing him. Pleading hadn’t worked, and Sonny didn’t have anything else to convince Ruben with. “Ruben, wait. Where’s JP?”

Ruben paused by the door before slowly turning back to Sonny. “I’m not entirely sure,” he confessed. With Sonny off the team, JP needed to show up to the last race lest APX have an incomplete team and be barred from competing. “I’ll send someone to look for him.”

“You gotta find him, Ruben. Check to see if he went home. He might have went to his mom’s place.”

“I’m checking, I’m checking,” Ruben stuttered out, rapidly firing off texts. He looked up long enough to shoot Sonny a dark look. “You don’t get your seat back just because Joshua ran off. I’d rather end it all here than allow you back in the car.”

“It’s not about that,” Sonny said quietly. “JP just lost everything. Would you leave him alone right now?”

Ruben scrubbed a hand over his face and leaned against the wall. “I understand that. I’ll do my best to make sure he isn’t alone without tipping him off that I know. Anyway, he didn’t cut and run; Kate said Joshua’s with the team heading to the UAE.”

Sonny relaxed. “Thank God.”

“I’ll tell Joshua to contact you when he gets some free time,” Ruben told him. “I’ll see you later, amigo. Rest well.”

After greeting the team and convincing Ruben to let him drive for the last race, Sonny went searching for JP. Dodge had mentioned JP avoiding the team, like he thought he was too good for them. While that wasn’t the case, JP was unknowingly succeeding in alienating himself from the rest of the team, which wasn’t good. Sonny found himself outside of JP’s driver's room. He knocked on the door twice, getting no response each time. He opened the door to find him lying on the couch, his back towards the door. Sonny quietly crept over to JP before pouncing on him, grabbing and shaking him by the shoulders. JP flailed in Sonny’s arms. He violently hunched his shoulder into Sonny’s jaw, trying to flee.

Sonny sat on the edge of the couch and rubbed his throbbing jaw. “I deserved that,” he lamented. 

JP sat up. “Sonny!” JP promptly pushed him off the couch and then kept shoving Sonny until he was outside his room. He slammed the door in Sonny’s face.

“JP! What the hell?”

“Stay out there!” came JP’s muffled voice. “What are you doing here?”

“Let me in!”

“No! I don’t want you near me.”

Fine, Sonny would play by JP’s rules. “I’m taking over for Luca. You’d know that if you were with the rest of the team.”

“I already told you—.”

“You don’t like them because if you do, they’ll die. I know. I get it, kid. But how can you break the curse if you don’t even try?”

JP hit the door. “You’re taking the piss out of me.”

Sonny held his hands up defensively, even though JP couldn’t see it. “I’m not. I’m just saying, you won’t conquer this dragon unless you attempt to slay it. You’ve already given up. Don’t you want to try?”

“No.”

“I don’t believe you,” Sonny accused. “Kate said you tried during qualifying. You had that shit box, and you still tried. And that’s because you care. Be it about your career, this team, or just winning the final race, you care. So why not try a little longer, extend that care? If you can win this race, APX won’t die. You’ll beat this ‘curse’ and it won’t have a hold over you.”

Silence stretched between them until Sonny was convinced JP had abandoned the conversation. “No,” JP eventually answered. “I already had my chance to beat it, and I didn’t take it. If I just died in Monza like I was supposed to, Mum would still be alive and you wouldn’t have crashed.”

Sonny frowned at that, feeling heartbroken for him. “Joshua. If you were supposed to die, you would have. It wasn’t your time.”

JP’s reply was so muffled and whispered that Sonny almost didn’t hear it. “So why was it my mum’s?” 

“Joshua, please. Open the door. I can’t talk to you like this.”

The doorknob rattled and clicked unlocked. The door creaked open, revealing a distraught JP. Tears trickled down his face, and his nose ran. Sonny gently pulled his handkerchief from JP’s pocket and wiped his face for him.

“I don’t have an answer for that,” Sonny admitted. “That’s just how life works. It can be cruel and unfair, and we can’t stop that. Your mum's passing on had nothing to do with you crashing in Monza. Me crashing had nothing to do with you crashing in Monza. It’s all just circumstantial.”

JP huffed disagreeably. “You don’t get it. There’s something wrong with me. It’s just better if I’m alone…”

Sonny sat on the sofa and pulled JP down next to him. He paused for a moment, searching for the words to kindly convey his thoughts. “After I crashed in Jerez, I pushed everyone away. I was angry, and I was hurting. My anger consumed me. And because I was angry and hurting, I did things to hurt myself. Those were dark times, and when I came out of them, I realized I had no one. I don’t wanna see that happen to you.”

“I’m not angry,” JP mumbled. “I’m just…”

“Sad? Depressed? Grieving? It’s fine to feel all those things right now. That’s natural. But don’t push people away,” Sonny begged. “Cuz you won’t always feel that way, and I don’t want you to look up one day and have no one. You’ve already lost so much; don’t lose more.”

“What should I do?” JP asked him. “How do I keep going?”

“Take it day by day, I think. Keep living your life. Do what you love doing. You love racing, don’t you? Start there.”

“I won’t be doing that for much longer,” JP muttered.

“Of course you will, because we’re going to win this. And when APX survives, your curse will be broken.”

JP looked hesitant. “For real?”

“It’s worth trying, right? What’s one more race? If you win, you’re free from it. And if you still don’t feel that way—still don’t wanna race—you can walk away. And if we fail, well, you won’t be around the team anymore.”

JP nodded. “Yeah. Let’s try.”

Sonny hugged JP. “Okay, man. Let’s get out there. We’ll win!”

JP gave him a weak smile before standing up. He stuck a hand out for Sonny and pulled him up. “For the team.”

“Nah, for you, JP. Let’s do it for you.”

It was only him, JP, and Lewis Hamilton in the race now. At this junction, it didn’t matter who won as long as Hamilton was taken down. While Sonny was a hair’s breadth away from victory, something he’d always wanted, he knew it wasn’t his to take.

“Go win it, kid.”

Sonny tried passing Hamilton from the outside, giving JP an opening to attack and overtake on the inside. HP sailed past them both, leaving Sonny to defend him against Hamilton. Hamilton’s front tire made contact with Sonny’s rear, causing him to spin. Sonny course corrected before Hamilton could complete Turn 12. He pushed to catch up to them. Hamilton was gaining on JP, moving beside him for an attack. Mere seconds behind Hamilton, right on his gearbox, Sonny repaid the favor. Sonny made contact with Hamilton’s rear tire. They both spun out of bounds, leaving the path clear for JP’s victory.

A lap later, JP won the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix.

The team swarmed out of the paddock, surrounding JP and lifting him over their heads. He looked overwhelmed and ready to complain. Everyone else’s excitement must have gotten to JP, however, because the protests died on his lips as they carried him over to the podium. 

There, JP looked melancholy. He politely received his trophy, robotically sprayed champagne everywhere, and patiently sat through his first press circuit in months. Thankfully, if any reporters knew about Bernadette, they kept it to themselves and didn’t ask him about it.

Sonny waited for JP in his driver's room. “Good work, kid,” he praised, pulling him into a one-arm hug.

JP returned it. “I was shocked you didn’t finish. I was going to collide with Hamilton so you could win.”

Sonny smiled. “We both know I’m faster than you, so no surprise I beat you to the punch.”

JP scrunched his nose at that. “In your dreams, old man.”

Sonny sat on the couch. JP plopped down next to him, knees knocking into Sonny’s as he went. “So…how are you feeling?”

JP slumped against him. “I dunno. I feel a lot of things. Mostly wish Mum were here to see this. I wish they all were.”

“I think… wherever they are, they’re all proud of you.”

“Thank you,” JP said sincerely. “I don’t think I would have even made it here if not for you.”

“You got here on your own,” Sonny pointed out. “I had to double-check if you even came.”

“No, I meant for it all. I know I said I’d try, but I didn’t plan on going to Las Vegas. And even before…my mum died, you did a lot for me and the team. So thanks, truly.”

“I’m proud of you,” Sonny told JP. “Not even for winning here. But for trying. For pushing through a hard time. No rational person would have blamed you for sitting out the rest of the season. Do you feel like you beat your boogeyman?”

JP stared at the trophy clutched in his arms. “Honestly, I don’t know. I still feel like something bad is going to happen to you for talking to me, but you’re just going to do what you wanna do; I can’t stop you.”

“I've got my fair share of bad luck, kid. So if you're willing to put up with me, I'm willing to put up with you, and hopefully we'll cancel each other out.”

“What’s your next move?” JP asked him. “I heard you were fired. How’d you even manage to come back?”

“The Baja 1000. That’s what I planned on doing before joining APX.”

“That’s where? Mexico, right?”

“Yeah.”

Sadness washed over JP’s face. “Oh. Well, I’ll see you around.”

“Don’t be stupid, JP. I just said you gotta put up with me. Come with me. You don’t have to race if you don’t want to; it can be an extended vacation. But it’d be good to get away for a bit, wouldn’t it?”

JP smiled at him. “Yeah, it would be. I need to clear it with my manager first. Think we can go to Barbados, too?”

Sonny smiled back. “Yeah, sure, kid. Whatever you want. As long as you pay.”

They’d be alright.