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Rodney was sitting in his lab.
Alone.
He had his eyes closed, head rested on his folded arms, breathing slowly, listening to his own heartbeat.
There was no point.
Nothing left to do.
He tried everything.
Everything!
It was impossible to get John back.
John.
His John.
He sighed, slowly raising his head up, blinking in the darkened lab, looking around, fixing his eyes on a few things.
Just a couple of machines, beeping and running tests, some broken and waiting to be fixed. But who can fix them if there is no John to turn them on, eyes shining with the happy sparks Rodney adored so much?
He smiled a half smile, that didn't reach his eyes.
He too was broken and waiting to be fixed.
But he can’t be fixed.
Not anymore. He too didn't have John to turn his happiness on with his sparky hazel eyes and big smile and the messy fly-boy hair. He missed him so much.
Rodney failed them all. He failed everyone.
Because he couldn't think fast enough.
Because he couldn't be smarter.
Because he just wasn't enough.
So many failed attempts, so many failed lives…
Carter gone, Teyla gone, Ronon gone.
Everyone was gone.
And he felt so alone.
There was a rumor going around that they need to flee the galaxy and come back to the Milky Way.
He was out of ideas.
But he knew John wasn't dead.
He hoped John wasn't dead. Hope was the only thing left.
He couldn't be dead, right? No body on any of the sides, no injuries. Just very confused Lorne.
John just left the planet and the worm hole spitted him out somewhere else in the future. Or the past. No, it had to be the future, because they would have known John was there in the past...
Unfortunately, it seemed that the future was very, very far away.
Rodney was so done with all of this. He was tired, hurting, alone.
“I give up…” he whispered in the silence, dark lab, single tear coming down his face.
He decided to resign in the morning.
Because what was the point anymore?
Maybe back on Earth he can think about something and get Sheppard home.
Maybe…