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It’s just part of the script, the movie’s protagonist reminds herself. Everything is just part of the script. She watches the girl she her character loves stare longingly into the eyes of the girl opposite her as they sway to the beat of Johnoy Danao’s Right Time and thinks that she doesn’t even need to pretend she her character isn’t okay with it. Her hand tightly grips the glass of pretend-whiskey.
“Ganyan…sige Yvonne pretend to whisper something kay Thei…move closer a bit. Good, okay stay like that for a while.”
Direk Emilia is in her element. They only have a few days to shoot all the scenes at location so everybody understood that there’s less room for bad takes.
Juliet doesn’t hear the director utter her name so must be doing something right. She tries to focus on the lovely pair dancing, takes a sip of her fake-whiskey, just as her eyes start to water. The sound of distant waves crashing against the shore makes her want to crawl inside her skin.
The first time she’d ran over her script and found out they had scenes set in a beach resort, she’d hysterically rang Emilia almost demanding if it really had to be a that, had listed suggestions, just for each one to be vetoed by the director.
“Joke time ba ‘to, Direk?”
“Huwag ka mag-alala. Your character gets the girl this time. Maybe. Hindi pa naman nababago yung script so far. Geh, bye na.”
Ten years of avoiding beaches and anything that could remotely remind her of that night only to end up going back to the exact same place that had been haunting her, and still does.
Her character looks away, just as the script calls for. Juliet thinks she could sense a particular set of eyes on her the moment she does (was that on the script?), but it’s gone the minute she looks up. Emilia yells “Cut!”, and goes to scrutinize the playback.
“Okay good job, everyone! I think pwede na tayong mag wrap up for today. Dinner na kayo and please remember yung call time for tomorrow ha?” the director announces.
Juliet beckons the bartender and replaces her fake whiskey for a bottle of beer. The feeling of being watched comes back to her but she chooses to ignore it, nodding at Emilia, whose face almost screamed “okay ka?”, when she catches her eye before leaving the set.
“Maaga tayo magsa-start bukas ah.”
The director finds her sitting by the shore, eyeing the empty beer bottles beside her.
She scoffs. “Ikaw, parang ‘di mo ‘ko kilala.”
“Sa ten years na nawala ka, hindi ka nagbago?” Emilia asks her the moment she sits down. “So what did? Ano lang yung nagbago sa’yo then?”
Juliet doesn’t answer, taking another gulp of liquid courage instead.
“Kasi yung work ethics? Okay na okay pa rin. Pride mo? Still intact, unfortunately. Yung pagkaduwag mo?”
The other woman laughs humorlessly. “Putangina,” she says under her breath. “I took on this project, didn’t I?”
“So matapang ka na nun? Kasi what, you can breathe the same air as Althea? Nag-uusap lang man ba kayo? Like, really talk, Jet.”
Emilia has never spoken to her with any vitriol. Even after what she did. Even back then during Year Seven that she had front row seats to Althea’s ugliest crash-outs. Sure, she’d phoned her, telling her “Jet, sana alam mong this is coming from a place of love, kasi oo pinsan ko si Tey pero magkaibigan tayo, ‘di ba? Pero utang na loob, for your sake and Althea’s…get your shit together.” but she had never stopped making an effort to try and she where she’s coming from. Juliet almost wishes Emilia had thrown her a punch to the gut, not that she hasn’t offered before, just to get it over with.
The actress suddenly stands up, or tries to. “Eto ba yung ganti mo sa’kin, direk? Making me go back to where I’d lost her as a what, reminder of what I could never have?”
Emilia follows suit, placing a hand above Juliet’s shoulder. “Alam nating pareho na that night wasn’t when you ‘lost’ her, Jet. Heck, you didn’t even lose her. Tatanungin kita ulit, sa sampung taon mong nawala, ano yung nagbago sa’yo, Juliet?
Unfortunately for her, she’d been friends with the director for too long for the latter to know that the last thing she would ever do is back down from a challenge.
“Fine,” she simply says before starting to walk away.
Only when Juliet turns, she bumps against someone. “Pambihira naman oh. Kakarating ko lang paalis na kayo? Pag wanbot niyo naman ako.”
“Ibon, tumabi ka—“
“—Yvonne, stay.”
The actress slightly takes a step back, both arms holding Juliet in place. “Teka teka teka. Sa’n ka ba kasi pupunta? Lasing ka na ah.”
“Kay Althea. I’ll tell her I’ve changed.”
Yvonne raises her brow at Emilia who simply rolls her eyes.
“Anong balak mo ha? Ano ba’ng ma-iooffer mo, Juliet?” Emilia pushes.
“Mag-so-sorry ako.”
The other actress smirks, finally arriving on the same page. “Magso-sorry ka sa kanya. Sasabihin mo’ng mahal mo siya? Oh tapos?”
Juliet slowly breaks free from the woman’s loose grip. “Magaling ako mag-improvise, don’t worry.”
They watch her walk away, almost falling down twice, which didn’t faze her. “You know this might ruin the shoot, right?” Yvonne mutters, chuckling, but the director simply shrugs.
“Eh ‘di postponed yung pelikula. This is more entertaining anyway.”
When Althea opens her door, she’s still wearing her clothes from earlier, traces of makeup and all. She crosses her arms, sizing the intruder.
“Matutulog ka na ba?”
She shakes her head no. “Running my lines lang.”
“Ah.” She watches as the other woman shifts weight from one foot to the other, fingers fiddling with a loose button on her shirt. “Sige pahinga ka na.”
Althea stares at her incredulously, lets out a loud sigh. “Sige.”
An arm pushes her door open before she can shut it. “Sandali! Sorry. Uhm.”
The shorter woman faces her again, waiting. Juliet runs her hands through her hair, clearing her throat, “I was running through my apology habang papunta dito—“
“—You had all the time in the world, Jet,” Althea snickers. “Tapos ang ibibigay mo sa’kin ay drunk apology that you made during the time it took you to walk from…wherever you came from…to here?”
Juliet winces but albeit stands up straighter. “I know. I ran it through, again and again, but it was never gonna be good enough and you deserve more than that. So…this isn’t an apology.”
An expletive threatens to escape Althea’s tongue. “This isn’t?”
“No.” She watches the corners of Juliet’s mouth slowly stretch upwwards. How ‘bout that dinner?”
The expletive does escape. “You have got to be fucking kidding me, Juliet.”
Juliet’s hands come up, pleading. “No, no. Wait. Remember that conversation we had after our very first intimacy workshop?”
“Then convince me. Start with making me actually like you and maybe the rest of the world will actually believe it.”
“And what if you end up more than just liking me?”
A lightbulb goes off in Althea’s head. “And whoever lost the stupid bet…” Juliet trails off.
Hypothetically, she knows what she’s trying to say. However, there isn’t a worse combo than Juliet Samonte and timing because what the fuck?
“Tinanong ako ni Emilia kung ano yung nagbago sa’kin sa sampung taon na wala ako at ang sagot ay pagod na akong magpanggap, Thei. I’m tired of pretending that I’m okay with being no longer around your orbit.”
Slowly, she unclasps Althea’s folded arms, taking both hands into hers. She rubs her thumbs across her knuckles and Althea wonders how every part of her is unraveled and brought back together simultaneously somehow.
“Fold ako, Thei. Here I am, laying all my cards down the table. And my heart on my sleeve. Kailangan kita sa buhay ko, Althea del Mundo. In whatever way you’ll have me. I could show you how sorry I am better than I can ever tell you.”
She tries to blink the tears away but the moment a hand cups her cheek, the tears start flowing down anyway. She puts her hand over Juliet’s and for the sake of self-preservation says, “Matapang ka lang kasi lasing ka, Juliet. Makakalimutan mo rin ‘to paggising mo bukas.”
Still, a missed call followed by three knocks on her door wakes Althea up the next day only for a bouquet of white tulips to greet her when she opens the door. Her co-star’s face peeks from behind the flowers. “Good morning!”
And, God, Althea would like to believe the other woman is simply trying her best. It isn’t her fault that the first memory that comes to mind is one that happened on their Last Good Day. Juliet, too, had woken her up like this, only she had been carrying a tray with Althea’s breakfast instead of flowers.
“Ang aga mo mang gago Juliet ah. After neto iiwan mo ulit ako nang ten years?”
The other woman frowns like a scorned puppy. “Uy ‘di ah. Dumaan ako para sabihing susunduin kita mamaya for dinner.”
She narrows her eyes. “Pumayag ako?”
Juliet honest-to-goodness pouts. “Just coffee then? Meryenda?” Althea blinks at her, non-plussed. “Turo-turo dun sa plaza?”
She bites her tongue, reigning in a smile. “Just…two hours with me, Thei.”
“Two hours tayong magtu-turo turo?”
The other actress’ frowns, as if really mulling it over. “An hour, then. Spend an hour with me…sige kahit thirty minutes lang!”
“Thirty minutes is enough for me to get to know who you’ve been for the last ten years?”
Juliet beams. “Hindi. Parang…trial lang ganon. Kung gusto mo yung makikilala mo sa thirty minutes, pwedeng mag-extend?”
Shaking her head, Althea puts out her hand. “Deal.”