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After a short break, rounds had started once again, to the delight of the killers and the reluctance of the survivors.
They were going back to their usual routine, dying or killing over and over again.
What nobody expected was for Noob to load in with a gun.
In fact, it wasn’t just Noob.
Elliot had a sword in his hands, 007n7 had a magic staff, Builderman had a collection of junk food, Guest 1337 had a tripmine-
“What the hell?!”
Elliot was quick to question the situation, and only became more confused when he saw Noob pointing a gun at him.
“Put that down!”
Noob complied, dropping the gun on the ground.
Elliot wanted answers.
“Do you know why this happened?”
Noob, who was somehow even more nervous than usual, tried to explain.
“I- I made a bet with Chance- and I won and he said he’d give me his gun next round but I don’t know why this is happening-”
“Ok, ok, please remember to breathe next time you talk. It looks to me like The Spectre wanted to mix things up a bit. It’ll all be over by next round, hopefully.”
Then, from behind a generator, Two Time ran up behind Elliot, looking very excited.
Too excited.
“Look at what the Spawn has graced me with today!”
They held up a C00lgui, and pressed a button, causing a clone of Two Time to appear next to the original.
“Even more lives! I can use this as much as I want!”
The other survivors, each not wanting to shut down Two Time’s delusions, half out of politeness and half out of fear, simply smiled and nodded, and got to work on the nearest generator.
However, something was still at the back of Elliot’s mind.
Where’s the killer?
1x loaded into the round in a secluded area, with no survivors in sight.
After a long break, they’d been craving violence, bloodshed, and murder. (In that order)
They hoped Shedletsky was in the round, that would make things so much better.
Deciding to start things out with a mass infection, the reached for their swords.
Where the fuck were the Daemonshanks?
And, more importantly, why was their right arm a fucking SPIKE?!
This was strange, to say the least.
They were still their usual, glowing, green self, just with corruption all over, which ruled out a bodyswap potion, like the one Noli used on Doe and Azure once as a prank.
1x didn’t want to waste any more time, they’d just figure out the moveset as they go.
They had atrocities to commit, after all.
Builderman was unfazed by his situation, instead slightly annoyed that he’d spawned in with regular Bloxy Cola instead of diet. He was working on a generator, when a row of Corrupt Energy spikes appeared near him.
Weird. I thought the killer was supposed to be 1x.
“You too?”
Builderman turned around, seeing Guest 1337 with a Subspace tripmine in his hand.
“Yeah. Me too. You know how to use them things?”
Builderman pointed to the tripmine.
“No, I haven’t been able to find a way to set it off.”
“Is Taph here? You could ask them.”
They both glanced around, trying to spot Taph, or even another survivor, but the only thing they were able to spot was 1x, charging towards them.
Panicked, Guest 1337 grabbed the tripmine, frantically looking for some sort of trigger, with Builderman giving suggestions.
“Maybe there’s a pin to pull somewhere- like a grenade?”
“DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A FUCKING GRENADE TO YOU?!”
1x was only a short distance away from them now, and, in a final act of desperation, Guest 1337 hurled the tripmine full force at the killer.
There was a blinding, pink flash of light, and the survivors booked it away from 1x, hiding in a grove of trees.
After catching his breath, Builderman was the first to speak.
“Did 1x look like they had John Doe’s corruption just now, or am I losing my marbles?”
“We’re definitely losing our marbles regardless, but yeah, I saw it too.”
Following the flash from the tripmine, our improvised sentinels made their way over to where the killer was standing.
“Is your gun charged?”
“Yeah, I’m at 2 of them.”
“Alright, c’mon, I’ll go in first.”
Elliot sprinted out from his hiding spot, and readied a slash, screaming:
“THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR TARGETING ME, BITCH!”
He swung his sword as fast as he could, landing a hit on 1x’s (non-corrupted) arm.
However, Elliot forgot one thing.
Which is that the person currently writing this refuses to acknowledge the nerf to John Doe’s Unstoppable passive, it was completely unwarranted, and I even play a sentinel and have never played as John Doe- which is to say: 1x wasn’t going to stay stunned for long.
Noob, however, seemed to notice this, and started yelling at Elliot to retreat.
“STOP! ELLIOT! THEY’RE JOHN DOE! STOP!”
Elliot looked at Noob, and then 1x, and then back to Noob.
“What do you mean, that’s 1x RIGHT THERE!”
While Elliot’s back was turned, the killer’s stun wore off, and they lunged straight at the pizza boy.
Noob raised their gun, ready to shoot, but they were interrupted by a blue beam of energy shooting straight past them, forming a protective bubble around Elliot.
007n7 had somehow figured out how to use magic in the few minutes that had passed.
Unable to attack Elliot, 1x switched targets, firing off a Corrupt Energy in Noob and 007n7’s general direction.
Noob was able to move out of the way, but 007n7 wasn’t as lucky, ending up impaled on a spike.
Not wanting this insanity to go on any longer, Noob drew their gun, and fired.
Bullseye.
While 1x was briefly stunned, the two survivors ran away, following the trail of spikes left by the earlier attack.
“Are we gonna get n7?”
“No, he’ll be fine.”
0:03
0:02
0:01
And that was it.
1x1x1x1 found themselves at the door to the killer cabin, just like after every round.
They were back to normal, no corruption or anything, and they had their swords back.
Now, they had a decision to make.
Go inside and tell the others about what just happened, or, stay quiet and see how the next killer reacts?
While the latter would have been entertaining, 1x wanted answers from the others, maybe they knew something?
They pushed open the door and went in, where they saw Doe, Azure, Noli, and Guest 666 playing Uno at the table.
“Rnnn.” (The rules state you can’t play a +2 card on top of another +2.)
“That’s the way I’ve always played it!”
“Mrghhh.” (Fine. Azure, it’s your turn now.)
“Uno reverse card! Now YOU have to draw 2!”
“Rggh.” (That’s not how it works.)
“Damn it. Noli, you’re up.”
Noli stands up, grabs some cards out of nowhere, and slams them on the table.
“1-I $UM-UM-MON 3X0DIA!!!”
“GRAAAAHHH!” (OH MY FUCKING GOD CAN WE PLEASE JUST PLAY UNO NORMALLY FOR ONCE!?)
While Doe was looking around the room for an escape, he spotted 1x, who had been watching this whole exchange from the doorway.
“1x! C’mon, do you wanna play Uno with us?”
“No. What I want is for someone to tell me what the fuck just happened.”
Azure, not knowing what the hell they meant, said:
“What just happened? We just played a turn of Uno.”
(I don’t think they mean what just happened to you guys.)
Slasher had come in from the living room, where he and C00lkidd were watching one of the Friday The Thirteenth movies.
1x began to explain.
“Everything was messed up. The pizza boy had a sword, the veteran had a tripmine, the scaredy-cat had a gun, and the guy Noli cries to sleep thinking about every night had a magic staff.”
“H3y- 1 on-only cry-y ab0ut h1m every 0ther n1ght!”
“Oh, yeah, and I almost forgot to mention, I had all of Doe’s attacks.”
There was a pause, before 1x continued.
“So. Who did it?”
Everyone turned to look at Noli, who immediately went on the defensive.
“IT W@SN’T ME-E, BUT 1’M K1NDA F-FLATT-TER3D TH@T Y0U-U THINK I’M CAPA-PABLE OF PUL-ULLING TH@T 0FF!”
Slasher managed to redirect everyone’s attention before it got ugly.
(Look. It doesn’t matter why this is happening, we just need to deal with it now, we can point fingers later. Who’s up next?)
John Doe raised his hand, smiling wide.
“Me! I knew studying your wiki pages would come in handy someday! See that? It wasn’t all useless! You guys NEVER listened to me, and now it’s coming back to bite you!”
(Okay, we get it. I’ll make them study up while you’re out.)
“Alright, you have my permission to go through the binders I have in my room.”
Noli groaned, he wasn’t enthusiastic about having to read the (at least) 94 pages of notes that Doe had amassed on every single one of them. It wasn’t even any juicy gossip, just meaningless numbers and elaborate strategies that, half the time, don’t even work.
John Doe glanced at the clock. He had 15 minutes before his round, and then there’d be another hour before C00lkidd’s turn.
That gave him some time to prepare the others.
He and Slasher grabbed a bunch of maps, binders, and folders from his room, and put them all in a pile on the living room couch, where all the killers were gathered.
“Alright! Have at it!”
Nobody moved, except for 1x, who grabbed the notes about Noli from the pile, and began reading.
Doe was happy that at least SOMEONE was taking this seriously, and left to get something to eat before his round, but Azure knew something was off.
“1x. You don’t have any more rounds today.”
1x, still focused on the reading, replied:
“I wanna know Noli’s weaknesses for next time we get into a fight.”
“0h-h y3ah? We|| I’m-m g0nn@ $tudy yo-ou-rs!”
Slasher sighed.
(I swear to god, why do you guys only do shit out of spite?!)
The next round started while John Doe was still trying to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He tried to stuff the rest in his mouth quickly, but he was instead met with something that, on closer inspection, was not, in fact, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, to his dismay.
It looked like the Void Star, but its texture was similar to the corruption trail he left behind.
He’d switched with Noli.
This wasn’t what his first choice would be, but it wasn’t a bad one.
Let’s see… Noli relies on illusion and tricks to win, right?
John Doe spotted Shedletsky and Two Time off in the distance, working on a generator.
Observant it is, then. Nobody’s around, so I won’t get stunned before I can teleport.
This is going to be so much fun!
Earlier, when the survivors had come back from their round, there was quite a bit of confusion, not helped by the fact Noob looked shell-shocked, and Two Time was on their knees, praising Spawn.
Elliot had to step in and explain what had happened, and everyone breathed a sigh of relief, (except Taph, who had been hoping there was going to be a new killer to test their traps on), but, unfortunately, due to how long the explanation took, they had no time to prepare for the next round.
007n7, Dusekkar, Shedletsky, Two Time, Elliot, Taph, and Chance spawned in, with a dagger, bare fists and the will to throw hands with the killer, a hammer and a few other tools, a pizza box, the C00lgui, a magic staff, and various snack foods, respectively.
Shedletsky and Two Time spawned in next to each other, and right next to a generator. The intro animation had told them that the killer was John Doe, but they still had no idea what they’d be facing this round.
“Looks like I got Dave’s stuff! That’s a shame, I learned I couldn’t build shit a looong time ago. That poor IKEA chair. Anyways, what did you get?”
“Hmmm, it appears the Spawn did not grant me their favor this time, it’s just a pizza.”
“Oh, damn, you’re gonna get targeted real quick. Here, let’s get this generator done.”
They were about halfway done, when they heard some strange noises coming from the generator, causing Two Time to dart away. Shedletsky, on the other hand, ignored it, continuing to work.
He heard something fall directly behind him, and, thinking it was Two Time, turned around.
“Hey, what’s up-”
“Not much.”, John Doe said, before punching Shedletsky in the face.
Shedletsky took off running, not looking back until he ran out of stamina.
Doe was gaining distance on him quickly, and he glanced around, looking for a hiding spot.
Wait, why did that bush have antlers sticking out of it?
“Matt? That you?”
Dusekkar stood up, covered in leaves.
“Curses, I believed my plan was sound, but I was too easily found.”
“Do you maybe have anything that could help me with that?” Shedletsky points to the killer, now only a few seconds away.
“With what do you need assistance?”
“That!”
“I am afraid to tell, as much as it pains, that nothing of where you speak remains.”
A hallucination.
Just as Shedletsky realized this, John Doe, presumably the real one, Void Rushed out from the trees, connecting with Shedletsky, knocking him down, before he began speeding towards Dusekkar.
The admin began seeing things in slow motion, and, as Doe came ever closer, couldn’t shake the feeling that this was a reference to something, but he didn’t know what. When the killer was just inches away, Dusekkar put his arms up in front of his face, in an attempt to soften the blow.
Now, despite all conventional wisdom saying that holding your arms up doesn’t do shit when you’re hit by a speeding truck, it seemed to do the trick in this situation. Just as the attack ended, Dusekkar was about to hit back, but John Doe suddenly turned around, and focused his attention on Shedletsky, who was barely clinging to life.
With one quick blow, he put him out of his misery.
1 down, 7 to go.
Dusekkar had slipped away, but Doe was able to hear a conversation happening close by.
“They actually have pretty good aim, I’d say it’s better than yours.”
“Oh come on, they’re a literal NOOB, they can’t be that good!”
“You miss 56% of the shots you take, Builderman ran the numbers.”
“That’s gotta be bullshit!”
Elliot and Chance.
Doe weighed the options he had now. Should he teleport to a generator nearby, or just rush in there?
Believing that it would be a waste of time to teleport, he settled on sneaking up on them, throwing the Void Star, and then running in for the fight.
Elliot and Chance were none the wiser, instead having spent the start of the round doing what all survivalist class survivors do.
Jack shit.
Elliot was messing with the C00lgui, trying to see if he could unlock any of the abilities that had allowed n7 and his fucking demon child to destroy his workplace, and just generally make life difficult for him, but he had no luck.
Chance was sipping some Bloxy Cola, not really concerned with saving it in case of an attack.
That attack came when a glitchy object smacked them in the leg, and then exploded, pulling him and Elliot towards the epicenter.
The C00lgui landed face down a few feet away, leaving Elliot defenseless against whatever was coming for him.
How does that motherfucker hold on to it?!
There was no time for pondering that question, though, because Noli- or- Doe? Was now here, and also now brutally attacking Chance.
Chance was attempting to open a slateskin potion, but with no luck. It’s a little tough to drink something when you’re on the ground getting punched repeatedly.
The (former) gambler’s body went limp, and Elliot realized that it was now his turn.
Managing to get up on his feet, he grabbed the C00lgui, and got the fuck out of there.
John Doe had to follow on foot, still on cooldown from the earlier Void Rush.
Elliot’s escape was rudely interrupted by Taph blocking his path, with no time to stop, Elliot collided with the admin, who quickly brandished their newly-gained magic staff, prepared for a fight.
Unfortunately, in their panic, Taph, out of instinct, fired off a spell, directly hitting Elliot.
The only spell they’d ever bothered to listen to Dusekkar about.
It’s a real shame that one of the few ways to get Taph’s attention is to mention explosions.
Taph would have liked to apologize for his mistake, but it’s hard to apologize to a collection of scattered body parts.
Dusekkar and Two Time, having noticed the explosion, rushed to Taph’s aid, believing that the killer had caught yet another survivor.
Instead, they found Taph sitting on the ground, surrounded by disembodied organs.
“Oh Spawn no- What happened?”
Taph held up the magic staff, and Elliot’s visor, which was somehow still intact.
Dusekkar caught on quickly to what Taph was suggesting, and sighed out of frustration.
“Taph, what the actual fuck.”
Two Time had to hold back their laughter from seeing Dusekkar act so out of character, but soon noticed that they had another problem on their hands.
4 John Does were walking towards them, each from a different direction.
Two Time glanced around, looking for anything that might distinguish the clones from the real Doe, but with no luck.
The killers all Void Rushed simultaneously, seemingly testing the survivors’ ability to dodge, and one managed to land a hit on Dusekkar. They then split up, each fighting one survivor, with another John Doe simply watching.
“I think that one’s the real one!”
Two Time pointed over to the Doe standing in the corner, and Taph aimed their staff in that direction, preparing to attack.
Once again, the survivors’ efforts were in vain, because YET ANOTHER John Doe came running from behind a nearby wall, chasing 007n7, who almost ran into Two Time.
The survivors were backed into the middle of the clearing, with the John Does circling them like vultures, waiting for someone to make their move.
Taph had an idea.
(What if I blow them ALL up?)
“No.”
Dusekkar shook his head, and began looking for an opening in the wall of John Does.
Only one can be the true killer… Should I just make a run for it? Odds are I won’t get injured.
Giving in to the vaguely Chance-like voice in his head telling him to gamble, Dusekkar made his move.
He charged towards the ring of killers, tearing straight through one, but being stopped in his tracks by another.
“You really think I’d let you slip pa-”
The admin saw his chance, delivering a full force punch to the killer’s face.
“R̴̢̨̛̯̤͇͔̦̥͇͎̘̥̻͇͈̻̥̉͒̃͛͊͊̄͌̀̽̕͝͝Ǎ̵̫̝̥̭͔̳̪͍̪̙͓̭͔̞̄Å̵̡̢̖͕̳̹̰͔͙̩̼̱̲̈́̌͗̿̊̂͛̕͜͝͠ͅǍ̴̰̫̺̾̎̅͐͝Ą̵͙̤̺̱̗̝͖̙̼͍̞̮͓̬́̃̽̃͂̚G̶̢͎̲͖̬̰͓͍̪̜̝̑̈̋̈́̾̅̈̐̽̀͑̈́̿̕͜͜͝͝͠Ĝ̶̨̜̩̟͖̜H̸̨̨̬͚̟̹̣͖̖̗̟͈̺͔̬͖́̀̿̈́̐̓̈́̈́̈́̋͛̕͘̕̚ͅH̵̛͇̩̖̩̔̀̈͗̂̂̓̓̆̀̕͜͠H̶͔̬̖̯̫̬̃̐͐̔H̵̢̘̺̞̹̺̙̘̟̭̼̦̤̻͋̆̊̂̀̎̓͋͂̊̽͠͝͝͝͝ͅͅH-̵̨̡̼̯̦͔͎͔͈̞̂̀̀͜”
Blinding pain ripped through Doe’s body, the worst he’d ever felt since he came to the Spectre’s realm. Was this how the other killers felt getting stunned? When the stun wore off, his mind, usually thinking ahead, following a carefully set plan, was consumed by only one thing:
R a g e.
He sprinted to the nearest survivor, snatching Taph by the cloak, and wailed on him with the Void star.
Two Time instinctively tried to aid them, but the only thing they could do was try and stab John Doe with a slice of pizza.
Dusekkar groaned out of frustration, realizing that he was surrounded by some complete IDIOTS. (Average public lobby, amirite?)
“TWO TIME! GIVE TAPH THE PIZZA!”
It was too late. Taph had been torn in half (Not the easy way, mind you. Like, straight down the middle.) and Two Time was just standing there while John Doe charged towards them.
After concluding that deep-dish pizza would have made a better weapon, they turned around, only to be knocked to the ground by the killer.
Dusekkar and 007n7 rushed in to help them, trying desperately to get Doe’s attention away from Two Time, but it was no use.
The two remaining survivors made a run for it, with John Doe, who was practically roaring like a wild animal at this point, following close behind.
They managed to lose him for a moment, and stopped behind a wall to catch their breath.
“Doe kinda sounds like my old washing machine, you know?”
“n7- what the- what kind of fucking washing machine did you have?”
Dusekkar would never get an answer, because said washing machine Void Rushed straight into him twice, killing him instantly.
007n7 was teleported away, now standing on top of a glowing spawn symbol.
There were wings coming out of his back, he had a demon tail and horns-
Did the Spectre seriously go through all the effort to give him a special second life form?
Meanwhile, John Doe was no longer absolutely feral, and was about to reset character out of shame that he left a survivalist for last, breaking rule 12 of his 318 patented rules for total victory in rounds and life in general™, but he then realized that 007n7 was no longer a survivalist.
Maybe he could still win this.
He spotted 007n7 across the map, and immediately teleported to the nearest generator. However, n7 was 2 steps ahead of Doe, immediately stabbing him after he teleported. N7 decided not to backstab him this time, because even though he was 70% dead right now, stunning John Doe again would mean he would be 1000% dead, given what had happened to Taph, Two Time, and Dusekkar.
John Doe chased after the ex-hacker, missing most of his attacks, but 007n7 soon ran out of stamina.
Now backed into a corner at 36% HP, n7 decided to stall for time, using the tried and true method of saying something absolutely batshit insane.
“How’d you manage to kill Noli?”
“What?”
“I’m assuming you took the Void Star off him after he died, I mean, that’s the only way to take it from him as far as I know.”
“I didn’t kill him-?”
“Oh, so 1x did it for you! That’s sweet of them, letting you keep the Void Star!”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“I’m pretty glad you got rid of him, he keeps annoying me whenever I see him-”
“Noli’s still alive!”
“Not for long without the Void Star, he can’t survive without the damn thing.”
John Doe, extremely confused and very annoyed, held the Void Star up closer to 007n7.
“I didn’t get this from Noli! I got it from a sandwich!”
“I see… You poisoned his sandwich!”
“OH MY FUCKING GOD.”
As Doe was preoccupied with how fucking stupid 007n7 was being, the survivor yoinked the Void Star from his hand, and sprinted away, laughing.
The perfect getaway.
Well, that’s what he thought anyway.
John Doe had a plan for this, one that he’d wanted Noli to try a while ago.
Remote detonation.
There was an explosion, and then, silence.
John Doe wasted no time in telling the other killers about how he wiped the survivors, detailing every single strategy he used, and which binder and page it was on.
“Okay, moving on from the clone wall-”
“$h@d-dow cl0n-ne jut-tsu!”
“…Yeah, whatever that is, next, last man standing, remote detonation, page 36-”
“Wait, how’d we get from 4 people left to last man standing?”
“That’s- not important. Anyways, I accidentally fell for the stall strategy, and wasted a lot of time there, but I managed to make up for it using the move listed here.”
This had been going on for nearly an hour, but Slasher then came into the room with an important announcement.
(I just heard back from The Spectre. The swap’s just for today. That means Noli’s the last one doing it, after C00lkidd.)
Doe sighed, disappointed that his extensive note collection would go back to being useless so soon.
Nobody was really sure what happened during C00lkidd’s round.
All the survivors knew was that Noob, Guest 1337, Chance, Dusekkar, and Builderman went in traumatized, and Noob, Guest 1337, Chance, Dusekkar, and Builderman came out even more traumatized.
Apparently Chance and Noob managed to survive, but calling it that was a stretch, given that Noob was curled up in the fetal position on the floor, and Chance was yelling at the concept of luck itself, asking it why he’d been chosen for that round in the first place. All of the admins were huddled together, Shedletsky and Taph trying to comfort Dusekkar and Builderman. Dusekkar was mumbling about his face being re-carved. Guest 1337 was having war flashbacks on the couch, and Two Time tried to offer Noob a Bloxy Cola, before returning to Elliot.
“Something must be very wrong. They said they’d pass on it.”
“Dear god.”
The killers also quickly noticed that something must have gone horribly wrong during the last round, because C00lkidd was extremely happy when he came back. He told the others about the best round of tag that he’d ever played in his life, which would have been really sweet, if he wasn’t actually talking about committing murder.
Any other group of people would’ve been absolutely fucking horrified, but these are the killers we’re talking about. They honestly found it funny.
“Slasher, uh- How fast do you need to tag someone for their head to go flying off their body?”
(Really fast.)
1x, who’d spent their whole life up to this point trying to put old age out of business, chimed in:
“I don’t think it really matters how fast you do it, as long as you’ve got a sharp enough blade.”
“D03sn’t 1t a-at le-east t@ke s0me f-for-ce t0 pu$h th3 bl@-ade through?”
“You can just saw your way into the neck, dumbass. Here, I’ll show you.”
1x1x1x1 got up and walked behind Noli, slowly raising one of their swords to his neck.
(Hey, hey, stop. We’re not falling for that trick again. Please test it out on a NON-LIVING object. Now I’m gonna have to reset the “Days since Noli and 1x have tried to kill each other” counter again.)
1x, cursing under their breath, summoned one of their minions.
“Alright, alright. See this thing? Let’s call them Bob. Can you guys introduce yourselves?”
Everyone took turns talking to Bob, who offered no response whatsoever, just a blank stare. (Can you stare without a face? Whatever.)
“Now that you’ve all established an emotional connection with Bob, I’m going to kill them right in front of you.”
They laid Bob down on the ground, and started sawing through its neck, eventually stopping when its head was fully detached.
“See? Slow and agonizing, but it gets the job done.”
Unfortunately, the one person 1x was trying to prove a point to was mysteriously absent.
“Where’s Noli?”
“Mhhghhh.” (His round started a minute ago.)
“Coward.”
Noli loaded in to the round, and as usual, before doing anything else, he said his catchphrase:
“It-t’s t1me f0r-r s-om-m3- MUR-DER!”
Noli heard someone laugh behind him:
“Yeah, it’s time for some MURDER ALRIGHT!”
Noli turned around, and found himself face to face with Elliot, who had an expression on his face that would’ve been more fitting on a crazed axe-murderer than an eternally tired pizza boy.
He also found himself face to blade with a kitchen knife, which was soon lodged in his chest.
Elliot ran away, and Noli tried to prepare a Void Rush to catch up with him, but quickly remembered that today was different.
Instead of the Void Star, he was equipped with two swords. He’d gotten 1x’s things.
Alright, what’d I get… Slash, Entanglement, Mass Infection, Unstable Eye- damn, did 1x really pass up the opportunity to call it Mass Detection? Fuck it, that’s what I’m calling it now.
Noli immediately used the newly-renamed Mass Detection, hoping that there would be some survivors nearby. There were, and he saw 3 of them crowded around the same generator, perfect for a Mass- uh- uhm- …Noli decided to stick with the name Entanglement, for now.
After a quick Mass Redirection, Noli fired off an Entanglement, hitting the group of survivors, and then followed up with a Mass Infection, not forgetting the most important part: announcing the names of his attacks.
When he got to the generator, he saw Taph and Chance were still trapped. The third survivor was nowhere to be found, but Noli didn’t pay much attention to that, instead focusing on killing the survivors already there. He managed to kill Taph before they escaped, and got a hit in on Chance, but Chance broke out of the Entanglement and started running before Noli was able to kill him.
“Th1s i-i$- M@ss-s Bi-isecti0n- SH00T.”
Noli tried to pursue the fleeing survivor, but he was stopped dead in his tracks by a sentry firing at him. Guest 1337 seemed to be building a dispenser for Chance just past the sentry.
“H3 bu-uilt a d1spenser @-and a $entry? That-t’s wh-hat 1 ca|| Ma$s 3rection- w@it th-that $ounded wr-rong.”
The killer tore the sentry apart, causing Chance and Guest to start running. Noli headed in that general direction, cornering them by the edge of the map.
“L00ks l-like 1’ve g0t t-two mor3 to @dd t0 m-my Ma$$ C0ll-lle-ection…”
Noli didn’t even have time to laugh at his (mediocre) joke, because he now had a kitchen knife in his back.
“Man, this sentinel shit is fun," said Elliot.
“D0n’t t3ll-l m3 they’re und-nder y0ur- M@ss Pro-protection!”
Elliot ignored the pun, continuing his insane monologue:
“It feels amazing to no longer be limited by the rules of this game- no, even the rules I’ve followed my whole life. The customer is always right? Oh, how I hated that… Every time you, your friend, or your friend’s pet demon child entered my pizzeria, I could do nothing but watch as you tore it down. I longed to be able to pick up a knife, just like this, and put a stop to it myself.
Now, that day is finally here. No more “Can I speak to your manager”.
I AM THE MANAGER NOW.”
Elliot began laughing maniacally, and prepared for another stab, this time aimed at Noli’s heart.
Noli’s life flashed before his eyes, which mainly consisted of poor decisions and petty crime, as Elliot raised his knife-
But Elliot, not Noli, was the one who dropped to the ground.
007n7 had just pistol whipped him with Chance’s flintlock.
“$3v? S-sev, th@nk-k y0u s0 m-much-”
However, 007n7 wasn’t here to save him, instead pointing the barrel of his gun to Noli’s head.
“D1D Y0U-U JU$T D0 TH-TH@T T0-O KILL-LL-ST3AL?!”
“Maybe.”
“1 th-thought w3 wer-re fr1ends…”
“I’ve told you COUNTLESS TIMES that it’s over. Are you hard of hearing or some shit?! I worked SO HARD to drag myself out of the hole we dug ourselves into, I’m not letting you pull me back in.”
Noli tried really hard not to break down crying on the spot, but trying to stop every individual tear was useless.
He was done. He wanted to go home.
So, he walked straight out of the map, and into the surrounding woods.
“You-u kn0w, 1t’s tim-m3 I do-o som3 Ma$$ Intr-ro-sp3ction…”
As soon as Noli fully disappeared into the forest, the round ended. The survivors were back in their cabin.
Chance turned to Guest 1337, saying:
“Guess you could call that- Mass Rejection!”
“Stop. It’s not funny anymore.”
“Ughhh- Where am I?”
Elliot had woken up from his surprise siesta, with no memory of the prior round’s events.
Chance, in an urgent tone, whispered to Elliot:
“Man, you better promise me you NEVER have a villain arc.”
“What the fuck does that mean…?”
Noli failed to return to the killer cabins after the round ended. In fact, hours went by, without any sign of him. Everyone was concerned, (to varying degrees, ranging from Azure having a panic attack, to 1x celebrating Noli’s disappearance.), and they searched for him until it was nearly 2 in the morning.
They had no luck, however, and a new day dawned, with Noli still absent. Azure was about to form another search party when there was a knock on the door.
Azure ran to the door, and yanked it open, revealing Noli, who was soaking wet, and covered in dirt, mud, grass, seaweed, and leaves.
“NOLI! OH MY GOD, WHAT HAPPENED? WE LOOKED EVERYWHERE FOR YOU!”
Noli smiled weakly.
“3-ev-erywhere? Th@t s-su-re i$ a- MA$$ IN-N-$P-PECTON!!!”
He began laughing, but he suddenly fell on the floor, passed out from exhaustion.
Azure sighed, and dragged him inside.
“Why are you like this?”