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Himeko had decided to stay the night again. Chikane was trilled, of course, but it was also straining. As wondrous as it was to sleep next to a freshly-showered Himeko and wake up to her adorable little pouting face in the morning, it also caused heat to pool in her stomach and her mind to grow hazy. Himeko was finally with her and trusted her enough to stay the night like this. It would be despicable to even attempt to take advantage of that trust.
Trying to clear her mind, Chikane was nose-deep in a fantasy novel when Himeko entered the room wearing only a loose-fitting white bath towel. She patted her hair down with another. “I’m finished, Chikane-chan,” she announced sweetly.
“Hmm?” she mumbled back, skimming the last paragraph of the chapter. Himeko frowned at her diverted attention but didn’t comment on it. When Chikane finished, she inserted her bookmark and looked at her girlfriend fully. The frown was still there, but it was beginning to flatten. The towel around her didn’t seem to be secured that well.
Chikane gulped. So much for calming her mind. It was almost as if she were testing her. Chikane honestly didn’t know how much more of this she could take. Last time she’d stayed, she had slept beside her in nothing but a pair of panties.
“Chikane-chan, is something wrong?” She tilted her head with an adorable inquisitive expression as she set her hair towel on the nightstand.
“No. Not really.”
The frown returned.
Chikane sighed. “But there is with you?”
Her girlfriend moved to the head of the bed. “No. Not really,” she replied, mimicking Chikane’s response.
“Don’t be like that, Himeko. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“How many times have I spent the night?”
“Huh? Um, four I think.”
“Four times, and yet all we’ve done is kiss.”
Ah. She understood now. She wasn’t the only one feeling this way. Then why hadn’t she just said so and saved them both the trouble? Now Chikane was frowning. “You should have said something.”
“Why did I need to? Isn’t that what couples do?”
“Maybe. But I’ve already hurt you, Himeko. Hurt you that way. I wasn’t about to do so again.”
Himeko giggled, as if nothing before tonight even mattered, and maybe it didn’t. “You are too worrisome. Of course I knew what I was getting into when I became your girlfriend.”
Chikane breathed out a sigh as she felt the metaphorical weight lifting off her shoulders. There had been so much guilt there, held there by her own self-deprecation for hurting the one she loved most in the one way she never should have. But the look Himeko gave her now spoke volumes of her absolution. It was okay for Chikane to feel this way now because Himeko was okay with it, and that made all the difference.
“Himeko,” she breathed out, light and feathery, and perhaps even a little drunk on the prospect of finally doing this. “I want to touch you. I want to touch you so bad it burns at my insides. It has since we first met. Since our first lifetime. I don’t think this feeling ever died.”
Himeko lidded her eyes half-way through the statement, as if she were drinking in a fine liquor. “Chikane-chan,” she whined. “Mine wasn’t there, but now it is. It’s here and it’s burning me alive. I need you, Chikane-chan.”
Chikane began to stand, feeling the ache in her begin to flare as well, but Himeko stopped her.
“No!” she nearly shouted, then covered her mouth in shock. “I mean, just stay put for now. Okay?” Her eyes shone sweetly again, and Chikane nodded, perfectly fine to wait as long as necessary.
But then Himeko did the unexpected; she tugged at the towel till it slipped from her form, settling in a curved pile around her body, which was pale and shining, looking incredibly soft, and Chikane had to gulp to stay where she was.
Himeko looked at her shyly. She glided her palm gently over the flesh of her breast, down her stomach, then low. It went lower and lower, and Chikane’s brain felt ready to short circuit when she realized what was happening, because this was Himeko, and Himeko didn’t do things like this.
“Himeko!” she called out reflexively.
“I want to, Chikane-chan. I want to show you. How much I care.”
Chikane sat back, let all the tension flow out of the pores of her body, watched as one hand pulled her pink lips apart as the other swiped over tantalizing flesh, realizing that maybe she had wanted Himeko to do these sorts of things.
The girl brought her hand to her mouth, licking at it slowly, one finger at a time. Then she settled herself so that Chikane had the perfect view of her, legs spread out wide, nipples slowly hardening, and then moved the fingers to her sensitive nub. She prodded it with her thumb, rolled over it with her forefinger, then squeezed gently. She gave a sigh, catching Chikane’s own breath.
Her hand tipped down, and her middle finger sunk inside herself—easily, far too easily, Chikane realized wistfully. She could feel herself coming undone, knowing that Himeko wasn’t the little virgin girl she’d imagined all this time. Her eyes flicked upward from her girlfriend’s lower regions to meet her eyes which contained a spark of validation to this thought. She’d done this before—she’d done this a lot. Chikane’s name slipped from her mouth, and she knew, she knew that she’d done this to the thought of her.
She could no longer contain herself. Rising, she pulled the zipper to her jeans down with dangerous force, then tugged the garment down just low enough to angle her arm around it without difficulty. Himeko paused, staring at her. Chikane sat back down, smiling as reassuringly as she could when the desire to jump her bones was running through her head, then snuck her fingers into her own most private place.
Himeko shuddered, as if seeing her fingers (which she couldn’t actually see with her panties there) was the most erotic thing she had ever seen. And it probably was. Chikane shuddered too at that thought. They stared at each other, eyes flitting up and down, from fingers to glinting eyes.
Chikane worked herself hard while Himeko worked herself up softly, not wanting to lose herself too quickly. Chikane moaned deep from the back of her throat while Himeko moaned from the height of her throat. Their differences highlighted with every shift, with every noise, and finally Chikane couldn’t stand it any longer. She needed the balance they would surely create together.
She cried out her name in a plea as she whipped her hand out from her underwear. Himeko stilled her movements, blinked at her. Chikane answered her unvoiced question while moving to the bed. “You said you need to feel me. I need to too.”
Himeko sighed her name when she was close enough to touch and tugged her forward into a sweltering kiss by the back of the hair. Where her previous actions had been soft and even, now she was harsh and frantic. Her hands roamed to her large breasts, and the air left in Chikane’s lungs caught. Even through her t-shirt the hands burned her skin. Forcefully pulling back, she worked her top off. Before she could unsnap her bra, Himeko was dragging the material down upon her torso so that it was just out of the way.
“You’re beautiful,” the miko said, her voice heady and altogether more than Chikane had ever imaged hearing.
“Oh god.” Her head was already swimming even before her fingers found her nipples and tugged there. “Nnn. You, too. You shine everywhere.”
“But, Chikane-chan is bountiful. Here.”
Her words weren’t dirty, but they still stirred Chikane on. “You too. Yours are so beautiful.” She lowered herself so that she could mouth at her nipples in turn. Himeko released a lovely shrill cry of surprise. Her tongue circled the bud of her nipple, tasting the soapy cleanness of it. Caught in the sensations, Himeko’s hand had stilled, but it soon regained life, palming at her breast vigorously as she pulled the two of them down into a lying position. Chikane was over her, skin on skin, but it wasn’t enough.
“One second.” She pulled up, removing her jeans and panties fully before repositioning herself atop her girlfriend. When she did, Himeko grasped her hand and moved it down to her opening.
“I want to feel you inside, Chikane-chan. Please,” she pleaded, eyes soft and vulnerable.
As if she even needed to be asked. Only waiting so long as to shove her index and middle fingers into her mouth to coat them in a thin layer of saliva, she moved them down to her opening. There was already moisture there, and they slipped in smoothly.
Himeko’s head fell back, and she released a shuddering breath. “Chikane-chan.” She repeated her name several times as Chikane pushed into her, trying different angles and rhythms. “I can’t believe you’re inside me.”
Chikane moaned at her words, taking the meaning in. She was inside Himeko. Flesh melding with flesh. “Himeko,” she cried, kissing her, kissing her and feeling along her walls, along her lips, feeling as much of her as she could. She was the one stimulating, let Chikane felt her own high. However, this was soon broken when Himeko began to shake slightly, tears welling in her eyes. Stilling, Chikane asked hesitantly, “Are you okay? Should I stop?”
She shook her head, sobbing once while doing so. “No. I want to feel all of you, Chikane-chan. I want all you can give. But—but, it isn’t enough. It isn’t fair.”
“Isn’t fair?” She used her clean hand to wipe a stray tear from the corner of her eye, watching as the blonde closed them in a gesture of trust.
“That we can’t. Just because we are girls.”
“That we can’t what?”
“Become one.”
“Shh.” Chikane wrapped her arm around her. “But we are. Where my finger is meeting you right now, we are connected.”
“I know,” she said in understanding. “But it still isn’t fair. Everyone can do this, with fingers. But for us, that’s all we can do.” She sobbed again, face contorted.
Chikane imagined being able to push fully inside of her, to feel her heat and tightness more acutely. She imaged Himeko doing the same, with the thoughts came a flood of new desire down her spine. She wanted to feel all of Himeko and for her to feel all of her in return. She wanted them to know each other completely inside and out. She wanted them to fill each other until there was absolutely nothing separating them, till they became one in body as well as spirit--so that neither that time nor lives nor orochi could ever pull them apart again. Of course she wanted it, but it was impossible and unnecessary. They were already blessed, so very blessed to simply be here together, to be this close already. She could feel her pulse beneath her, feel her radiating soul as well as heat. They were already soulmates, entwined forever, and that was what mattered.
Chikane kissed at the corners of her eyes, then the center of her forehead. “Silly. That may be true, but that doesn’t change anything. We may not be able to do as much as others, but that does not make this any less special or significant. It may just be my finger, but it is still me. I’m still inside you.”
Himeko’s breathing shallowed, shoulders heaving with each tiny intake. Noticing her change, Chikane flicked her thumb across her clit and wiggled her inserted fingers for emphasis. Himeko nodded, pushed her hips lower, welcoming as much of her as was possible. Taking the hint, Chikane pushed a third finger in.
To Chikane’s immediate surprise Himeko’s finger soon nudged at her opening in turn. Her head reeled back, a sharp gasp passing her lips when a finger squeezed at her clit. The blonde’s thumb pushed in, thumbing over it roughly. Her index finger graced the edge of her opening, teasingly. Chikane whined, biting her lip. Giggling, she pushed the finger inside, testing around as Chikane had done.
They worked together, finding a rhythm between them, alternating between rough and gentle touches, strokes and plunges, until they cried out nearly in unison. Chikane dropped, hugging against her left side. Himeko’s hand pet through her now mussed hair.
“Sorry,” she said shyly.
“What for?”
“For complaining.” She turned her head to the right, away from her girlfriend’s view. “I didn’t mean that I want you to change.”
Chikane kissed at her cheek. “I didn’t think that. I understand what you meant. I wish that we could go all the way, too. But we can’t, and that’s just how it is. But, Himeko,” she turned her face back toward hers, “we don’t need that to be joined. I am already a part of you. I have been since our first life. I am the moon, remember? I can’t live without you.”
Himeko was crying again, but this time they were tears of happiness. “Chikane-chan, I love you so much.”
“I love you, too, Himeko.”