Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Good grief, did Xan really have to send all of these?” Arcade gripes from the floor of Xander’s bedroom. “There’s, what, 25 separate recordings? And for some inane reason, copies of all the telegraphs we got?”

Ulysses gives him a slow, solemn nod. So far, they have sorted all but 3 of the tapes. There’s the “random recordings from ED-E” pile, the “For Arcade” pile, the “For Ulysses” pile, and the “telegraph copies” pile. His hand is cramping. Oh, and, of course, the pile they started with, the “unsorted” stuff. Well, dammit, it’s getting sorted now.

Ulysses picks up one of the three last tapes at random, pops it into the holotape player Xander inexplicably has in their room, and hits play.

“ED-E, what are you hoping to find at Navarro?” Xander’s voice rings out, a little staticky and choppy from the player. Ulysses shuts it off, pops the tape back out, and hands it to Arcade, who dutifully tears off yet another strip of painter’s tape and writes “random” on it with Veronica’s permanent marker.

“Did I already send that Telex telling them to label this shit next time?” Arcade asks, rhetorically. He’s well aware that he already did.

Ulysses does not bother answering, simply grabbing the next tape and repeating the process.

“-E, ED-E, can you — oh, thank God.” Xander’s voice, talking to that damnable EyeBot, again. Distorted this time. More random crap that ED-E decided to record for no apparent reason.

His hand hurts. Did he mention that? His hand hurts.

“One more,” Ulysses tells him, and grabs the last one.

“ED-E, begin recording.”

Oh, finally, one actually addressed to somebody.

“My beloved Arcade, in less than —” Ulysses shuts it off as soon as they know who it’s for. It was bad enough having Yes-Man play all of them out loud in front of the whole castle; neither Ulysses nor Arcade want to experience that particular embarrassment again, even if it’s just the two of them.

They may love the same man — and be agreed on letting Xander love whomever else they please, however else they please, given that they both understand the otherworldly nature of Xander; the way they don’t play quite by human rules in any aspect — but they do not share their love for Xander with each other like that. Two parallel channels, never crossing. Ideally, at any rate.

And now that all the recordings are sorted, Ulysses can leave the room and let Arcade alone in here.

“Would you take the randoms and telegraphs to Yes-Man’s room? I’ll put them away later,” Arcade asks, glancing over to Ulysses. “Oh, and feel free to take the ones meant for you, of course.”

Ulysses nods again, slow and solemn as ever. He makes for a steady rock in the clambering sea Arcade finds himself awash in these days, something to ground himself on when faced with the swathes of idiocy the rest of the Council is seemingly capable of. It’s... nice. He stretches out his cramped hand as Ulysses loads the three other piles into bags, leaving the holotapes meant for Arcade in their loose pile on the floor.

“Good... day, Arcade,” Ulysses rumbles, his arms laden with the bags. Arcade watches him walk out of Xander’s room — he helpfully shuts the door behind him.

Thank God.

Arcade lets out the sigh he’s been holding in for the past... two hours, give or take. He has to record something for Xander back, maybe flag down that Courier from earlier and see if she can’t get the horse to come back up with another crate. Everyone probably has something for Xander, after all; he’ll have to coordinate with Yes-Man later. For now, though, he — with great reluctance — lifts himself off the floor, ambles over to the desk, and digs around in its disorganised contents for a blank holotape.

There’s one already sat pretty on the top of some old fax paper, down in the second drawer on the left. He grabs it, ambles back over to the holotape player, — it’s also a recorder, he’s fairly certain — plops the holotape in, and hits record.

“Dear Xander...”

Chapter Text

Arcade: — and to think I hadn’t — oh, drat, wait.

[Object clatters to the floor]

Arcade: Is this... is this thing on? Oh, good, I think so. Ahem.

Arcade: As I was saying. Dear Xander, I’ve missed you terribly, and I hate that you didn’t label the damn holotapes. I’m dead serious: *label* them next time, you dim-witted buffoon! For someone so intelligent, you can be so *stupid* sometimes. That was utterly mortifying — the ENTIRE Council heard your sappy words that were meant for *me!*

Arcade: ...Those words *were* very touching, though.

Arcade: Anyways, merry Christmas, happy New Year’s, et cetera, et cetera. I enjoyed the chocolate, and I’ve put the magnets up on the fridge. How *did* you get ahold of a novelty magnet of the Golden Gate Bridge from 2041, though? You’ll have to tell me sometime.

[Arcade coughs]

Arcade: ...I’ll repeat myself this once more, but that’s the last time. Do *not* investigate Navarro. You should turn around and come home at *once.* Bring a horse, bring a whole herd — fleet? Gallop? Flock? Oh, I give up — or whatever of them, Raúl’s been wanting some, I don’t care. Just come home. You don’t — you’re going to get yourself *killed* out there, and I —

[A sigh]

Arcade: ...What am I saying? I know you won’t listen to me, not on this at least. There’s nothing worth finding in those ruins, no matter what that blasted EyeBot thinks. I love you. I miss you. Enjoy the stupid keychain I found you. Come home.

[Arcade chokes off a sob]

Arcade: God, just come home.

Chapter Text

Boone: I don’t usually make shit like this, but Arcade talked everyone at the Lucky 38 into recording you a message. So. Here’s the damn message.

Boone: You’re a right fool, and stupid at that. The Council’s weird. Yes-Man is weird. Your “friends” are weird. Get back here so I don’t feel so weird playing security for these idiots. Fuck you for leaving. I miss you, dammit.

Boone: Well, that’s enough of that. Goddamn. Reckon I’ll turn this thing off now.

Chapter Text

Veronica: Boone made me wait until he’d left the room before I could start the recording. Dunno why Arcade made him go first, but whatever. I think Raúl’s on after me, and then Ulysses — although, Ulysses has his own holotape recorder, doesn’t he? He wouldn’t need this one.

Veronica: I know you yanked this one off the shelf in the supply room at the Bunker, by the way. It’s got this scuffed corner on it, from back when I was still a scribe-in-training and dropped it on the floor accidentally. I wasn’t supposed to have it out then either, haha — it’s not like I’m gonna tell Elder McNamara that you took it, though. We’re, uh, not on the bestest of terms right now, and besides, I’d never go behind your back like that. You trust me too much, though! Just sayin’.

Veronica: I was thinkin’ — yeah, yeah, a terrible thing, I know — about, uh, your visit to the Elders at Lost Hills. Did you... did you mean to send all of those holotapes, Xander? Cus, like, it was a *lot.* Maybe don’t let ED-E go so ham on the holotapes next time, huh? Just a thought. But yeah, I just... did they have anything to say about, well, you know...?

Veronica: It’s still so weird to think about him. About him being gone, I mean. Well, he was *already* gone, but I’d held out this hope, you know, of seeing him again; or something like that anyway — and then you get your dumbass kidnapped by — ugh, I just can’t wrap my head around how crazy he’d gotten by the end. I’m... I’m really glad I wasn’t there to see it, and I don’t talk with Christine much about it because it’s just so *hard* to, but I’ve been trying to reconnect with her, and, well.

[Veronica sighs]

Veronica: It’s so weird, seeing her again but she’s not even really in the room. Holograms are weird, Xan. They’re *really* weird, and I *know* I told you that like a billion times when we were installing them in the boardroom, but I’m gonna tell you again cus they’re *still* so weird. ANYWAY, I hope you come back soon — it’s been an annoying couple of months without you! Arcade isn’t as much fun to bother. He *has* been sleeping in your room and moping a lot — figured you oughta know, since I know he’s too chicken to say it himself.

[Someone knocks on the door]

Veronica: Aw, rats, that’ll be Raúl. Anyway, love ya, thanks for the gizmos, safe travels, byeeeeee!

Chapter Text

Raúl: Escuchamé jefe — ¡quiero caballos, cienes de los, y quise ayer! Do ya know how much faster I could get from this chingado torre with a *horse?!*

[Heavy breathing]

Raúl: Anyway, boss, it’s been quiet here. Or as quiet as a lawless land can be, but — and I hate to admit it — the Securitrons *are* pretty effective. Mierda. Malditos robotes en las chingadas calles... ¡no me gustan! ...But I hate lawlessness more, so I s’pose I’ll have to put up with this. Fuck you, boss.

[A lengthy pause]

Raúl: We completed the second elevator in mid-December, by the way. Thought ya might like to know — like ya wanted, boss, it runs from just the lobby up to the boardroom. Still think it’s crazy of ya to have a whole floor that’s nothin’ but a boardroom, but you’re the boss, boss! Least you’re not the craziest boss I’ve ever had — I could do worse than a boss who lets me roam where I please...

[Faintly]

Raúl: ...la última me cerró con llave en el clóset por demasiadas semanas... jefe es demente pero es mejor que la última... ay yai yai...

[Unintelligible]

[Regular volume]

Raúl: Well, boss. I hear this gets shipped off to ya tomorrow, so — see ya when ya get back, ya bastard. Don’t die out there!

Chapter Text

Ulysses: Xander.

Ulysses: The others... found a holotape... recorder, in your room... they offered... it to me... but I have my... other ways. As... you know.

Ulysses: I cannot... tell you where you have been... nor where... you will go. That is... for you... to decide, to... remember. And... as you have... shown me, your... past... is not all that... defines... you.

Ulysses: Fare thee... well, ...Xander. We shall... speak again... you know how... to find me.

Chapter Text

Yes-Man: I now call this emergency meeting to order!

Boone: For the last time, Yes-Man, it’s *not* an emergency meeting.

Arcade: It’s literally just us who live here, and we’re only *having* this meeting so that we can all finalise everything in the crate we’re sending back to Xan.

Veronica: Ooh, you called them Xan~~ so cute!

Arcade: Shut *up,* Veronica.

[Muffled laughter]

Yes-Man: Please, please, settle down! Who’s our timekeeper today?

[Silence]

Boone: ...I’ll do it, if no one else will.

Yes-Man: Thank you, Craig!

Veronica [quietly]: Hehe, *Craig.*

Raúl [quietly]: That’s his first name? Damn.

Veronica [quietly]: How’d you not —

[Coughing]

Boone: *Ahem!*

Arcade: Stop whispering like little girls and pay attention, please!

Veronica: Damn, who shoved *that* stick up your ass?

Arcade: We don’t have long to make this decision; remember, that other courier said her caravan travels back today. So we have *got* to finalise the damn contents of this crate, and we have *got* to do it *now.*

Yes-Man: Thank you for summarising our purpose of meeting so nicely, Arcade!

[Collective groan]

Yes-Man: Why are you groaning?

Raúl: Never mind us, hombre.

Yes-Man: O-kay!

Arcade: ...Do we have everything we want in the crate?

Veronica: I got everything I wanted in there, plus I collected all the holotapes we recorded, even Ulysses’s.

Ulysses: This... is true.

Arcade: Okay. Boone, Raúl?

Raúl: Everything I wanna send boss is in there, sí.

Boone: Same.

Arcade: And I put my gift in there, too, so I say we’re all set.

Yes-Man: Excellent! When this meeting is over, someone please eject the holotape recording of this meeting and put it in the crate!

[Collective groan]

Veronica: Um, Yes-Man, I hate to be the one to say it —

[Under his breath] Arcade: No, you don’t.

Veronica: — but why are you doing that?

Yes-Man: It’s my gift to Xander!

[Silence]

Arcade: ...Uh, okay. Sure.

Boone: I move to adjourn this meeting.

Raúl: Seconded.

Veronica: Wait, we didn’t agree on Yes-Man’s request!

Arcade: ...All in favor, say aye.

Veronica: Aye!

Raúl: Aye.

Boone: Nay.

Ulysses: Aye.

Yes-Man: Aye!

Arcade: ...Aye. Okay, then it’s settled.

Boone: Meeting adjourned?

Yes-Man: Meeting adjourned! Have a fantastic afternoon, everyone!

Veronica [faintly]: You gotta admit, the cheer *is* a little contagious —