Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Jim was sitting in his dressing room. Well, it wasn't his. None of the actors at UMQRA had their own dressing room. Except for Sherlock, of course. Jim tried suppressing that thought, but it was too late. They'd been sharing that dressing room for almost a year. At first they just used it to get ready for their films. Maybe rehearse a little. And of course talk about Sherlock's... Their ideas for new projects. And then things had changed. Suddenly, almost out of nowhere, Sherlock seduced him. By that point, Jim had given up. Sherlock was beautiful, charismatic and so smart it hurt just thinking about it. But he simply wasn't interested in Jim. Not that way. In fact, as far as Jim could tell, Sherlock wasn't interested in that kind of thing at all.

And Jim had been right. It had all been an act. A game to keep him working. The fact that he had fallen for it only proved what an amazing actor Sherlock was.

But it was over now. All of it. The sex, the cuddles and kisses, the whispered declarations. And their work. Jim was never working with Sherlock again. Ever!

He might never work again at all. At least he had not been offered any new projects. And all the other actors seemed to avoid him. Like he was contagious or something. Maybe they feared that if they worked with him, Sherlock wouldn't include them in his movies. And they all wanted to work with Sherlock. Of course they did.

Jim had no reason to be at the studio today. Except he didn't really have anywhere else he needed to be either. And there had been rumours of Angelo starting up a new film. A new film with a new actor. Jim just had to be in it. It was pretty much his last shot. None of the others would work with him, so if he was ever going to work again, it would have to be with this new guy. At least once, so that he could prove to them all that it hadn't just been Sherlock. That Jim too had plenty to offer. Once they'd seen him on his own, they'd all be begging to work with him…

The door opened and a very tall, muscled man in jeans and a white shirt walked in. His face was handsome in a rugged sort of way, dominated by a long ragged scar down his left cheek.

"Oh," he said as he spotted Jim. "Angelo sent me in here. I didn't know it wasn't free." He took a step back and was about to close the door again.

Jim jumped to his feet. "No... It's fine. I'm not using the room. I was just... taking a break..."

He tried to flatten his hair, which seemed permanently messy these days, probably because he kept running his hands through it when he was nervous. Or frustrated.

The new guy was impressive. He was going to look amazing on camera. The scar would probably make him seem interesting and a little bit dangerous. And Jim was going to look so tiny and weak next to him.

He realised that he had been staring and quickly offered his hand. "I'm Jim.”

"Sebastian Moran," the man said, taking his hand and squeezing just a little too hard. But his hand was so large around Jim's that he probably didn’t even realise. "Wait. Jim… You’re Jim Moriarty! You were in Mind the Gap!"

Jim grinned and nodded. "Yeah... It was my first film. I'm surprised you even noticed me... All I did was basically sit there and look surprised." People rarely noticed him next to Sherlock. He was so used to it by now that it didn't even bother him. Hell, he couldn't blame them. He'd only had eyes for Sherlock since the day they met.

"Noticed you?" Sebastian repeated. "You were great! Just a bit of a shame about your co-star. I mean, he sure was hot, but he was a bit soft for you, wasn't he?"

"S...Soft?" Jim stammered. "What do you mean?"

"Well..." Sebastian started unbuttoning his shirt. "You make a gorgeous sub. That terrified look you've got nailed... It's brilliant. But I had the feeling he didn't really show you who was boss. That he didn't challenge you enough." He shrugged off the shirt.

"A sub? I'm not a..." The words got stuck in Jim’s throat. The guy was huge! No wonder Angelo wanted him on board. They had nothing like that at the studio. And if he could act... Jim cleared his throat. "So have you worked before? Have I seen you in anything?"

Jim seriously doubted he'd have forgotten seeing this guy naked. He tried very hard to keep his eyes up, but it was very very tempting risking a quick glance down to see if he was proportional.

It didn’t help that Sebastian opened his jeans and shoved them down while answering. “No, I’m new to films. I’ve been working in a club actually, and a while ago Angelo visited for that S&M issue of one of his magazines. He took some pictures and then we talked about his films… I mean, I like the club, but I was definitely up for a new project. Especially if it pays that much better. So here I am.” He stepped out of his pants and flung them onto the bench.

"I see..." The words sounded embarrassingly like a squeak and Jim hurried to elaborate. "I mean... I can see why Angelo would want to hire you. You are very..." He was not blushing! He was not blushing! "Uhm.... Well-proportioned."

Sebastian chuckled. "Yeah, I know. I'm pretty proud of my equipment.”

Noooo! Jim’s mind screamed. He didn’t mean his ‘equipment’. Well… Not just his equipment. He had meant the whole… package… No, that sounded even worse. Just… That he was very very gorgeous…

Sebastian continued, seemingly oblivious to Jim’s discomfiture: “Let's just hope the screen test will be good enough for Angelo to let me sign the papers. My role at the club has always involved a lot of acting, but it's still different in front of a camera, right?"

“Yeah…” Jim said, managing to not sound completely retarded. “Though I must admit that at first I didn’t really know how to relate to the camera, so I just focused on the other actor… actors. I’ve done some stage work in the past. Not porn…. Just acting…” He was running his hands through his hair again. He must look terrible, but checking it in the mirror would seem so vain. And call attention to it. Because right now Sebastian wasn’t even looking at him. He was studying himself, testing angles and flexing. Shit…

Jim quickly sat down again and crossed his legs.

“Well…” Sebastian said finally, apparently happy with the last few of his poses, “I should probably cover up a bit before I walk out of here. What do you think?” He grabbed two tiny pieces of cloth from his backpack and held them up.

Jim tried to suppress a groan. “The black!” That was definitely a squeak. “You should wear the black… one…”

Sebastian smirked, looking Jim up and down before he discarded the green thong and stepped into the black, his body angled so Jim got a good view. “Thanks. Good to know I can come to you for decisions. None of that ‘oh, you look good in both’ bullshit and all. Just a clear answer, I like that.” He made the band snap as he straightened up and walked towards the door. “Screen test’s waiting!”

“Wait!” Jim cried out. “You should… You should probably wear a robe… walking to the set. Nobody walks around like that… You might get… cold…” Only then did Jim realise that the way Sebastian had looked at him just then, suggested that he wasn’t just expecting more advice. He had actually taken a step towards Jim and…. reached out?

As Sebastian thanked him and turned to pick one of the company robes hanging on the closet door, Jim seized the opportunity and darted past him, fleeing out the door and down the hall, ignoring the stares he was getting.

…

He couldn’t stay away, though. Once everybody else who wasn’t working had drifted towards the set where the screentest would be done, Jim figured it would be safe for him to go too.

It was a pretty basic setup. There was a bed, of course, and some of Angelo’s signature curtains. Jim smirked as he saw that they had chosen the dark green ones. The black thong would work great with these. The other one would have been a disaster.

The bed made sense. A lot of first timers were pretty nervous, and having somewhere to sit or lie down often helped calm them. And made it easier to hide shaky or wobbly knees. But Sebastian ignored it completely as he walked over to the camera crew.

“Hey, can I make a suggestion?” He gestured at Stamford. “Could you put the camera lower down? Like, get on your knees or something and follow me? I think it’d look better for what I have in mind.”

Stamford looked over at Angelo, apparently a little taken aback by the request, but Angelo shrugged.

“Thanks,” Sebastian said as Stamford rearranged himself on the floor. He took a few steps back. “Okay, I’m ready.”

Jim giggled quietly. Just what they needed. Another bossy diva. Some of the others seemed to think the same, as he heard Sherlock’s name whispered.

“Let’s just hope he’s worth it,” somebody said and Jim shushed them. Sebastian had begun.

It was pretty basic. At first he was simply looking down at the camera, smirking just a little. He turned his body, flexing those too perfect muscles. But not like a bodybuilder at a contest. There was nothing fake or staged about it. He was completely at ease and casual, just making it very very clear for the person watching him that he was stronger than them. A lot.

He began touching himself. Again it seemed perfectly natural. Not some porn queen selling the goods. Just a beautiful, confident man who knew what he had to offer and wasn’t ashamed to show it off. To let the world know that he was as pleased with his own body as he was sure they were watching it.

Jim remembered a conversation he’d once had with Sherlock. About doing solo-shots. Jim just wanted to withdraw into himself, leaving the viewer as an outsider, watching a private moment. But Sherlock had insisted it was better to connect with them. To look into the camera like you would into the eyes of a lover. And then he had demonstrated by looking into Jim’s eyes and the rest of that conversation had been a blur...

This was as far from that look as it was possible to be. Sebastian wasn’t connecting with the viewer. He was owning them. And he hadn’t really done anything yet.

And then he did…

He winked at the camera and then reached down to grab the considerable bulge which had been straining the black thong since he put it on. Jim heard a couple of the others gasp or hiss and someone making a remark about Stamford looking a little restless down there on the floor.

Sebastian massaged himself for a bit and then he began sliding the thong off his hips. Jim wouldn’t have been surprised if the whole room held its breath in the seconds before his erection sprang free of the restraining cloth.

Jim had already seen him naked. Even soft, his cock had been of impressive size. Now he realised that it was, for lack of a better word, massive.

Not like those borderline freaks you saw in some movies, where you had to wonder how they were still able to function while supplying blood to those monsters. Maybe because Sebastian himself was so large, it didn’t seem unnatural. Just… big! Jim had certainly never been with anyone with a cock that size. Then again, apart from some hand and mouth action, Jim had only ever really been with one man…

This time, he did manage not to think about it. Mainly because Sebastian was now stroking himself. Slowly.

And he just kept stroking. He moved around a bit, closed his eyes, moaned and all that stuff. But he wasn’t doing much more than standing over the camera. Wanking.

Jim sighed. If this was all he had to offer, surely Angelo wasn’t going to sign him up.

Soon the others began losing interest and wandered off. Some of them had scenes to prepare for. Others were off for the day.

In less than ten minutes, Jim was the only one watching, except the crew needed for the shoot. And Angelo. Jim glanced over at the man, certain that he was regretting giving the guy a chance.

But he was smiling. That smile that usually meant he was seeing money being made. He was not looking at Sebastian, but down at the monitor that showed what Stamford was filming.

Curious, Jim began inching over. He did earn himself a glare from one of the technicians, but he honestly didn’t care. He had to see what Angelo was seeing.

When he did, Jim realised why Sebastian had asked Stamford to kneel. From this angle, he did not just look impressive. He was a fucking god. A huge, beautiful god, preparing himself to fuck the living daylights out of his cowering subjects.

Jim didn’t realise he had whimpered before Angelo turned to look at him. The man’s concerned frown turned into a knowing smile. “He’s impressive, isn’t he?” he whispered to Jim. “I think we can make a lot of money off that.”

Jim bit his lip and nodded. He couldn’t take his eyes off the monitor on which Sebastian was quite clearly nearing his climax. The muscles in his thighs were tensing and his cock twitching visibly. But just as Sebastian groaned, closing his eyes again, Angelo called out.

“Hold it for a second,” he said.

Most normal men would not have been able to stop themselves at this point, but Sebastian was clearly a professional. His entire stance changed, and though he was still holding his cock in his hand, panting softly, he seemed quite unaffected.

“Yeah?” he asked, smiling at Angelo.

“I’m going to send someone up to join you,” Angelo said. “Not for any action, just to see how you two look together.”

Jim looked around the room, wondering who the lucky guy was, when he suddenly felt Angelo’s hand on his shoulder. “Run up there, Jimmy boy,” he said. “I have to see if the height difference looks hot or just… comical…”

Jim felt like he had been struck by lightning. This could only mean one thing. “Are you… Are you considering doing a film with him and… and me?” he stammered.

Angelo nodded. “If you think you’re up for it. I know he’s very different from Sh… From what you’re used to. But it could be a good change, don’t you think? Unless you’d rather not let that thing near you.” Angelo chuckled, gesturing to the screen, where Sebastian was squinting at the lights, trying to see who Angelo was talking to.

Jim looked at the enormous erection, swallowed once and then nodded. “I can handle it,” he said. “I’ve used toys bigger than that.”

Angelo laughed, clapped Jim on the back and sent him stumbling towards the bed.

Sebastian smirked as he saw him. "Hello again."

"Hello..." Jim made sure to keep his eyes above Sebastian's waist.

"Just stand next to each other," Angelo called. There was some muttering behind the camera.

"Sebastian! How far would you have to bend down to kiss him? Would it be too awkward?"

"Not at all." Sebastian chuckled, wrapped one arm around Jim and lifted him off his feet. "Okay?" he asked.

"Put me down!" Jim gasped, more surprised than actually offended.

"Perfect!" Angelo called. "You can put him down."

Sebastian quickly kissed Jim’s cheek and then lowered him again, looking far too happy with himself. "Could you sit on your knees for me?"

"Wha... What?" Jim spluttered. "Now?"

"It's fine," Angelo called. "I've got what I need. "I'll see you both tomorrow for a quick read-through, okay?"

The lights were turned off with an audible clunk and Stamford got to his feet with a soft groan.

"Shame," Sebastian said to Jim. "I'd have liked showing him. You wouldn't have needed to do anything. Just... Sit there and be pretty." He shrugged. "Well, I suppose I'll go take a shower. Will you still be here in 10 minutes?"

Trying not to picture Sebastian soaping himself down, Jim nodded. "Sure... Why?"

"Well... It looks like Angelo is happy enough to let me sign. But except for you, I don't know anyone yet and I'd like to celebrate with a colleague. Just a pint or something, nothing fancy. Interested?"

Jim hadn't been out in ages. Not since he and Sherlock had gotten together. Maybe this was just what he needed. To prove to himself that he had put it behind him.

There was just one little detail.

"I could use a bit of freshening up myself. Can I meet you there?"

"Oh, sure. The Buck and Stag? I'll see you there." Sebastian beamed at him and then turned towards the dressing rooms.

Jim allowed himself one long look at Sebastian leaving. Then he ran for the exit.

…

Thirty minutes later he strode into The Buck and Stag, which served as local for most of UMQRA’s employees, though Jim had only been there once, just after Mind the Gap had been released. He had showered (for the first time in more days than he cared to admit), was wearing his best fitted tee, and jeans that were probably at least half a size too small. He'd gotten a good look at Sebastian earlier, so why not return the favour?

Sebastian was already sitting at the bar when he came in. He turned as he heard the door open and his eyes widened just a little as they slid up and down Jim's body.

"Fuck," he said as Jim joined him. "Good thing I know what you do, or I'd tell you you should go into the porn business. You sure know your qualities."

Jim was pleased that he did not blush this time. He looked good in these clothes and he knew it. Still, he made sure to lean a little over the bar when ordering, just to give Sebastian a nice view.

"So... How did you get into this business?" Sebastian asked when they both had their drinks. "I mean... You looked so wide-eyed and innocent in Mind the Gap. Was that just acting, or...?"

Jim shrugged. "I've been into acting since I was a kid. But that was my first adult film." He smiled. "I did feel a bit out of my depth, but I was playing it up for the camera. Not many in the business bother with things like characters and plot. It's just about shoving the camera between your legs and going at it. But I don't work like that." He cocked his head and flashed Sebastian's his most bratty smile. "Can you deliver a line without sounding like the 'pizzaman'?"

Sebastian snorted. "I told you. Working at the club was all roleplay. And besides... I doubt a pizzaman would demand of his customers what I'd want of them." He grinned.

Jim giggled. "You'd be surprised..." He took a sip of his beer. "So... What exactly did you do at that club? Was it just performance or did you... service... people?" Jim hoped the question didn't offend Sebastian, but he felt it was something he really needed to know.

"I suppose it's more right to say they serviced me." Sebastian winked and sipped his beer. "But yeah... I did both. I discovered that I enjoyed the dominant role in bed when I was pretty young and it was nice to find out that there is actually a market for that."

So the man was a glorified prostitute? Not much different from what Jim was doing. "I never understood all that," Jim said. "All those labels and costumes. What's the point?"

Sebastian let out a laugh. "I don't know if it's much use trying to explain. You just need to experience it. So... How badly do you want to find out?"

"On a scale from not really to no way?" Jim laughed too. He liked Sebastian's smile. It was positively wicked and the scar didn't exactly help. He was going to look hot as hell on the screen and Jim was definitely going to enjoy working with him. "So I'm assuming that you only top." Angelo was going to insist on that anyway. Small men fucking bigger blokes just didn't look as good on camera.

"Oh... No," Sebastian answered. "You don't have to be on top to be in charge. I've had a lot of fun giving orders to people who really wanted to fuck me." For a moment he seemed to be caught up in a good memory.

Jim almost choked on his beer. "Do tell..."

The conversation flowed easily. Sebastian told Jim stories from the club and asked a lot of questions about the film industry. At one point, Jim noticed that their chairs seemed to have moved closer and that their eyes met more often, holding the connection longer. When Sebastian's finger brushed the back of his hand as they both reached for the peanuts, he felt an all too familiar spark.

Sebastian smiled as he sat back - not his sharky grin, but softer. "So..." he said. "I can't help but wonder... Most of us working at the club have had some difficulty making relationships work. You know, partners that eventually get jealous, demand you look for another line of work or even try 'saving' you... I guess that's no better in the film industry?"

Jim felt like he'd just had a bucket of ice water poured over him. "I... I wouldn't know. I haven't been in a relationship since I started working. I guess some of the others do, but..." He shrugged and leaned a little away from Sebastian. Having a partner outside of the business might be problematic. But working and sleeping together... He was not doing that again.

Sebastian nodded slowly, studying him. "It's been a while for me too. Relationships, I mean. I suppose we get most of what we need out of our work." He winked and emptied his pint. "Another?"

"I should get going," Jim said, pushing his own half finished beer away and standing up. "We've got that meeting with Angelo tomorrow. And I've got... lots of stuff to do first."

"Oh... Alright." Sebastian was clearly disappointed. "Another time, then. Just buying you one pint sounds like a poor celebration of my new job."

"I'm sorry," Jim said, not looking at him. "Maybe I can make it up to you. When our first film is a success."

Sebastian grinned. "Okay. I'll keep you to that."

Jim managed to make it outside before groaning in agony. What the hell was wrong with him? Sebastian was beyond a doubt the sexiest man he had ever met. And on top of that he was funny, interesting and seemed to genuinely like Jim. If they were not about to shoot a film together, Jim would probably have been snogging the guy in the back of a taxi right now, on his way to be thoroughly, gloriously fucked. But he wasn't going down that road. Never again would he get involved off camera with another actor.

So why had he suggested a second date? He hadn't meant it that way, but he was pretty sure that's how Sebastian took it. And talking about their film. About them having sex... If Jim didn't know better, he'd have suspected himself of trying to pull him. But he wasn't. He couldn't. If it was just a casual one night stand, he'd have jumped him. But they'd be seeing each other on a daily basis for the duration of the shoot.

A hook-up like that could go two ways: it would make things awkward and it would show in the film, or they'd click and then he'd be stuck.

No. It wasn't happening. Sebastian wasn't that irresistible. Jim could easily do just as well at most bars in town. In fact, why shouldn’t he? Here he was, out on the town, looking awesome. Free as a bird. He giggled and turned the next corner, heading for a place he'd used to go back before... Before Sherlock.

Chapter Text

"I'm sorry, sir. We're closed..." Jim frowned at the script and then looked over at Angelo. "Really? Sir? Is he 80?"

Sebastian let out a snort. “I sure look fit for my age, then.”

Angelo sighed. "Fine... We'll scratch the 'sir'. Can we please move on?"

"Excuse me. We're closed."

"Fuck," Sebastian replied. "I just missed the bus so I was really hoping for some shelter and something hot..."

"It doesn't say 'fuck'!" Angelo protested.

Sebastian raised his eyebrows at him. "What kind of guy wouldn't curse at a moment like that? I thought you wanted to make this realistic?"

"Looks like you brought the hot stuff with you..."

"Jim!!!" Angelo almost tossed his pages at him. "That is not in the script!"

Sebastian laughed. "Well, then it's not technically work for you and you can just let me in."

"It will be written on my gravestone," Angelo sighed dramatically. "Death by actors. You'll be wanted criminals."

…

The name tag said Julian. The white and green shirt went well with his dark hair and eyes and he was humming softly to himself as he wiped the last cups and put them back on the shelf. Something Hot was written across the screen in large green letters matching his shirt. A pan of the room showed the coffee shop to be empty and judging from the streaked windows, it was pouring down outside.

Julian had just finished the last cup and was cleaning the counter when the door swung open, making the tiny bell above it tinkle.

“I’m sorry,” he said, not looking up. “But we’re closed.”

"Damn," the stranger replied. "I just missed the bus so I was really hoping for some shelter and something hot..."

Julian looked up, but the answer seemed to get stuck in his throat as he looked at the tall man, who had stopped just inside the door. He was blond with piercing blue eyes and a ragged scar running down one cheek, making his grin look more devilish than was perhaps intended. He was wearing a white shirt that in its soaked state left very little to the imagination. The man had the kind of body most could only dream off. Rippling muscles under tight smooth skin.

Julian licked his lips nervously as the man closed the door, taking a couple of steps towards him.

“Can’t you make an exception for me?” he asked. “Please…?”

Swallowing once, Julian blinked and then nodded. “Sure…” he said, his voice sounding a lot thinner than before. “But I can’t offer you much. I… I have turned off the machines, so I can’t do much about the hot… stuff…” He looked down, visibly blushing. “Though there might be a bit left in the pot. It’s not steaming but I don’t think it’s cooled completely.”

“That will be fine,” the man said, sitting down on one of the tall stools by the counter. “I’m feeling better already.”

Julian poured a cup and put it in front of him. The man had opened the gym bag he’d been carrying and took out a towel, attempting to dry his hair. The ruffled result did nothing to mar his good looks.

Julian had been staring and when the man saw this, he smiled and held out his hand. “I’m Leonard,” he said. “And I assume your name is Julian.”

Nodding, Julian gave his hand a quick shake before letting go. “N… Nice to meet you.” He seemed to be having a hard time keeping his eyes off Leonard’s chest.

“Yeah, I guess this shirt isn’t doing much good,” Leonard said, following Julian’s gaze. “Do you mind?” He didn’t wait for an answer but pulled the soggy thing off and tossed it into his bag.

Julian promptly dropped the tray of creamers he had been moving. Cursing under his breath he ducked down behind the counter, but before he could pick any of them up, Leonard was by his side, crouching down.

“Let me help you,” he said, putting his hand over Julian’s. They shared a long intense stare and then both stood up. The difference in height was more pronounced than ever. Moving slowly as if he wasn’t even aware of what he was doing, Julian put one hand on Leonard’s chest.

As if someone had flipped a switch, the entire mood changed. Flinging both arms around Julian, Leonard lifted him up and bent down to take his mouth in a savage, hungry kiss. Whimpering loudly, Julian wrapped first arms, then legs around him.

Leonard lifted him up to sit on the counter and after some frantic fumbling managed to push Julian’s apron out of the way and open his jeans. He pulled them down to his knees, revealing that the smaller man was already half hard.

A condom seemed to appear in Julian’s hand and Leonard took it, rolling it on, and immediately bent down to suck his cock into his mouth. It was fast and rough and - judging from Julian’s cry - very, very effective. As he began bobbing his head, Leonard pulled Julian towards him, so he was half lying down, and hooked his legs up over his shoulders.

The camera shifted and was now shooting from below, first getting a nice long look at Leonard rubbing a considerable bulge in his own trousers and then using both hands to massage Julian’s arse, pulling the cheeks apart for a second and then squeezing them together.

After a switch back to the blowjob, Leonard’s fingers now seemed to be glistening with some sort of lubrication, and Julian's cries rose in pitch as he pressed two fingers inside him. They moved surprisingly easily, and soon Leonard was pumping fast, Julian squirming and moaning.

A third finger was added and then Leonard straightened up, leaving Julian groaning desperately. The sound changed to a squawk of surprise as he was suddenly flipped and bent over the counter. Still pumping his fingers, Leonard undid his trousers with one hand and released a very sizable erection.

He pulled his fingers out and moved close to let his cock rest in the crack of Julian’s arse. The proportions were daunting and Julian seemed to tense. But when Leonard began thrusting, letting the length slide against Julian’s hole, he was soon moaning, begging to be taken.

Another condom was produced and rolled on and then, steadying his cock with one hand, Leonard aligned himself with Julian's hole and began pressing in slowly. It seemed to take forever before the entire head was engulfed and judging from Julian’s cries, it was quite an overwhelming sensation.

But Leonard was surprisingly gentle now and, massaging Julian’s arse with both hands, he took his time pushing in. Finally he was all the way in and the camera, which had been as up close as it was possible to get in this position, pulled back to relish the view of the two. Julian’s eyes were closed, his face contorted in what might have been pleasure, pain or a mix of both. He seemed to be holding his breath.

Then Leonard began moving and Julian was definitely feeling pleasure. It started out slowly and the camera moved in close again, as if anyone could have forgotten the size of the cock, stretching Julian’s hole.

But soon Leonard was pumping fast and hard, sliding easily in and out. Just when Julian sounded on the brink of orgasm, he pulled out, flipped him over again and pressed in. As Julian wrapped his limbs around Leonard, he was lifted on the counter and they proceeded to fuck on or against any available surface in the coffee shop, certainly violating every imaginable health code.

There was a lot of kissing and frantic hands but they never stopped moving, thrusting and grinding against each other. The times Leonard pulled out to change position, the camera got a quick glance of Julian’s hole which was gaping wide open, as if eager to be filled again.

It couldn’t last forever. In the end, Leonard ripped off the condom and covered Julian's chest and stomach in long, sticky, white streaks. Then he bent down and finished the other off with his mouth.

As the camera panned out, the two were kissing and embracing lazily, lying on one of the tables in the middle of the room.

…

“What the hell was that?” Angelo roared as the two men, still flushed and wrapped in robes, stepped into his office. “What the hell happened?”

Jim shuffled his feet a little, grinning sheepishly. “We had sex?” he suggested. “On camera?”

“You were fucking like bunnies on ecstasy!” Angelo covered his eyes. “Oh Jim… I thought you’d learned your lesson. What the hell am I supposed to do with something like this? There was hardly any sense of progression, no room or time for the camera to get into the right positions and you were making all the wrong kinds of noises.”

“Wrong?” Sebastian asked. “I thought they were cute. And believable. I mean, he did have a lot to deal with.”

Jim giggled, a little hysterically. “Yes… You caught me off guard there. I thought I knew what to expect but… ouch!”

"I can imagine that was ouch! And so will our viewers!" Angelo shook his head angrily. "Who is going to buy his? Who will want to watch something that looks positively painful?"

Sebastian looked as though he seriously doubted Angelo's intelligence. "You think there isn't a market for pain?"

"That's not the market I want to deal with!" Angelo's voice was rising. The man might begin shouting any moment if they didn't find a way to placate him.

"It wasn't that painful," Jim said quickly. "Just the first minute or so. Surely the viewers will see that too. The pain drowning in the pleasure and passion. That's hot too, right?" He hesitated before playing his best card. "Besides... It hurt a lot more in Mind the Gap and look how well that sold."

Sebastian frowned and shot him a puzzled look.

"That... It wasn't as visible there... I mean, you acted it so well that we never even realised..." Angelo muttered uncomfortably. "This is different. It was just... raw."

"I think I'd like to watch it," Sebastian said. "If I were looking for porn, I mean. Surely I can't be the only one who likes a bit more spontaneous action."

"Try it with an audience," Jim suggested. "Like... Give a limited number out with one of your magazines. Encourage the readers to respond. Maybe even make it a contest or something." He shrugged. "I'm sure we can get Sherl... Sherwood to sign something we can give away."

Angelo regarded him thoughtfully. "That's... actually not a bad idea. I mean... We could of course reshoot it like it's supposed to be... But I guess that's not possible with the two of you."

Jim glanced at Sebastian, smiling. "We could try... But I think you're underestimating the viewers. They can handle it raw. Not everyone needs Sherwood to paint them a pretty picture."

Sebastian nodded. "Besides, you know what I did before you signed me up. You've been at the club and it's not like there weren't any customers. This is a lot lighter than what we could have done."

"But you also knew that that wasn't my audience," Angelo huffed.

"All that really matters is that you deliver quality and earn money from it, right?" Sebastian asked. "So relax. See what happens. And if the reviews are good... Well. Let's say that I'll act in something real vanilla for you if it flops. But if it goes well, you’ll let me work with Jim again. With a script of my choice."

Jim wasn't entirely sure he liked the sound of that last bit. But it meant more movies. He'd be working again. Without Sherlock. So he nodded. "Yeah... That's only fair, Angelo. Give it a chance."

Angelo gave him a sceptical look. "Fine. At your own risk. And Sebastian... If you lose this bet, be sure it will be very vanilla. Soppy even. In a role on the border of being called submissive."

"That's just mean!" Sebastian called out, dramatically pressing his hand to his chest and then winking at Jim. "Good thing I don't lose bets."

"Fine," Angelo huffed. "I'll see how much we can salvage in editing and then put it out with an issue of Shared Secrets. And you better start thinking vanilla. I'm talking buttercream swirl with a cherry on top."

Ignoring the two giggling actors, he strode from the office, slamming the door behind him.

"Well... Who'd have thought the teddy bear could get so angry," Sebastian laughed. "And really, I don't see his problem. I mean, we were good, weren't we?" He met Jim's eyes.

"We were," Jim agreed. "Let's hope he doesn't butcher it in editing."

"But he won't, right? I mean, once he's over the fact that we didn't do exactly what he had in mind... His films are actually good." Sebastian shrugged. "You surprised me a bit, though."

"I did? How?"

"Most people need a bit more preparation before they can take a cock that size. And with you being so small, I didn't think this would go so easily." Sebastian smiled.

"I'm a pro," Jim said, trying not to sound too smug. "I knew what I'd be facing, so I prepared at home." He didn't mean the guy he had picked up a few nights ago and who had kept coming back for more. Sex with him was decidedly underwhelming. But Jim had gone out the day before the shoot and bought one of those plugs that most people thought were just made as a joke. It had taken a lot of time, lube and cursing, but he had gotten it in. And then just lain there for almost an hour, seriously considering a career change.

Getting it out had been even worse, but it had been worth it, seeing the hungry gleam in Sebastian's eyes when he realised Jim was ready for him.

Sebastian chuckled. "You did a good job. But... Then how could Mind the Gap hurt? I mean, that guy isn't as big by far... Didn't you prepare back then?"

Shit! Why had he mentioned that? Oh yeah. To get Angelo to release their film. Jim shrugged. "Only what was shown in the film. It helped, but... I could have used a bit more."

"Right." Sebastian frowned. "See, I could tell that it didn't really work between you and that guy. That he didn't take proper care of you."

"He did!" Jim snapped. "He just didn't know..." He stopped himself. Why was he defending Sherlock? He decided he wasn't. He just didn't want Sebastian to think he'd let himself be taken advantage of. "I may have... exaggerated my experience."

"But even then he should have felt you weren't ready," Sebastian pointed out. "If it hurt, you must have tensed up. Either he was a complete idiot, or he must have noticed."

"I'm a very good actor," Jim said. And then because he didn't like where this was going, he added: "I did a pretty convincing job just now. Pretending I liked shagging you."

Sebastian just stared at him for a couple of seconds, crossing his arms. "No..." he said then. "You did. You definitely liked it."

"Oh, don't feel bad," Jim said, laughing. "That's what this business is all about. Making it look real. As if you can't keep your hands off whatever partner they sign you up with. It's not much different from your old gig. Except here we're both getting paid."

"I'm not feeling bad. I just don't get why you're lying," Sebastian replied.

"I was lying for the camera," Jim said, pulling his robe tighter around him. "I'm being honest now. And if you'll excuse me, I've got a sore bum to tend to." Doing his best to walk casually, he strode out of the office.

Chapter Text

Breaking up with Random Guy had been surprisingly undramatic. Jim stayed home most of the week that followed the shoot of Something Hot.

The soreness went away in a day or two and oddly enough he kind of missed it. Reluctantly he lubed up the new plug, made himself comfortable and pushed it in. It still hurt and he had to go slowly, but it was easier this time. And once it was in, rather than feeling like he might rip apart if he made any sudden moves, it was kind of nice.

He rolled onto his side and began stroking himself. He was not thinking about Sebastian pumping into him or bending him over various pieces of furniture. Nor was he picturing Sherlock. Remembering the burning pain the first time he took him or lying in the dark that night, trying not to cry.

This time the pain lasted less than a day and the next morning he slipped the plug in again. This wasn't going to work for long, but surely he wouldn't keep needing it. Just until he'd gotten the last lingering bits of Sherlock out of his system.

By the sixth day, he decided he was ready to move on and went into the studio, figuring he could convince Angelo to let him do an easy project. Just some promotional stuff or something. With anyone but Sebastian.

"Hey, Jim!"

Closing his eyes, Jim took a deep breath. Of course he'd be hanging around the studio. He'd be eager to learn more about the business. So Jim put on his polite smile, turning to face Sebastian. "Hi..."

"How are you doing?"

"I'm great," Jim said. "How about you? Have you heard anything from editing?"

"I did," Sebastian said. "And they love it. Well, the guy I spoke to did, what was his name, Raoul. He said he believed people were going to like it because it was so different from what UMQRA usually does. So... We better start planning. I'm definitely looking forward to working with you again." He grinned.

"Yeah... About that..." Jim tried not to squirm. The way Sebastian was smiling at him. He really meant it. "I was thinking... Maybe it would be better if we didn't. For your sake. You've got your career to think about. You should try other partners. Show your range." Jim himself had made the mistake of only working with one actor and look where that had landed him.

Sebastian raised an eyebrow. "It would make two films. And they'd be very different. The audience might not even see that we're the same guys. Besides, before we filmed the coffee thing, Angelo said he considered letting me do something with Tony, so no need to worry about me being tied to you all the time."

"Oh. Okay." Jim had kind of agreed to working with him again. "So what did you have in mind? If Angelo lets you do your own thing?"

"Well... I was thinking of something in the line of my previous job," Sebastian admitted. "If you'd be okay with that, of course. But I am sure you'd be amazing in it. And it would mean a lot to me, actually. There are so many of those films that just get it completely wrong. Give the wrong idea about the whole SM community. We often had to stop people at the club and remind them that they weren't in a porn movie... So I'd love to set that right, I guess."

Jim rolled his eyes, but he had to admit to himself that he was intrigued. "I'll need to know more before I agree to anything. Do you have a script?"

"How about I show it to you tonight when we have that second drink?" Sebastian suggested.

"Show me?" Jim couldn't help but smile. "That does sound interesting."

"Well, I actually meant show you the script, but of course actually showing you is a much better idea." Sebastian smirked. "My place, then?"

"Prat," Jim said, laughing. "Just bring the bloody script. Same time and place?"

"Alright," Sebastian said. "That's a date."

"No, it's not!"

…

"So... What do you think?" Sebastian asked as Jim turned the last page.

"I don't know," Jim said. "It's basically just shagging but with one of them tied up... I don't think it'll really interest the viewers unless they're already into that stuff. It's not really sexy, is it?"

Sebastian raised his eyebrows. "Really? Everyone with either a dominant or submissive nature will love it. I mean, the sub's completely defenceless. He has to trust the dom with everything!"

"No, he doesn't," Jim said. "There's a safe word. And they clearly agreed on the rules before starting. And what's with all that soppy stuff at the end? Why would anyone want to do that? Or watch it?"

Sebastian let out a deep sigh. "Great. You've also taken on porn as your great SM source." He shook his head. "If you'd ever been in that position, you would know why the safeword is there. And you still need to trust the dom to actually stop when you say it, don't you? And aftercare... How long would their relationship last after all that humiliation, if they could never admit to each other that they really care and don't do this just to hurt or get hurt?"

Sebastian's words hit Jim deep. He knew exactly how it felt. To want the sex to stop while his partner just kept going. To have the person you trusted use and humiliate you. And then just cast you aside. Ignore you while you fought alone through the pain.

"You don't care," Jim muttered. "All those people at the club... You were just using each other. Your way is no better than..." His breath caught in his throat and he reached for his beer.

Sebastian actually straightened up, his eyes flaming. "You think we don't make the same agreements before we start? That I just abused people for a living?"

"No!" Jim gasped, shocked at his reaction. "I meant the other part. The comforting and bonding..."

"Of course it's different when you're not actually in a relationship," Sebastian said, seeming to calm down a little but still looking fierce. "But even then you need to make sure people don't go home feeling like they're less than you just because they were in another role. They need to feel good, after all the pain and humiliation. Safe. So many people come to the club because they just don't want to think for a while. Because they can put it all in our hands after a day full of responsibilities and stress."

Jim didn't respond. This conversation was stirring up feelings that he had fought so hard to put behind him. "I guess..." he said. "I don't know if it will translate to film, though."

"I believe it will," Sebastian said. "And if I have the chance, I'll show it."

Jim just nodded and looked down at his hands. Neither of them spoke for a long time and when they did, they both avoided the topic. After some failed attempts at small talk, Sebastian said he had to get going and Jim agreed that it was getting late.

…

That night, Jim had trouble falling asleep. There were just too many things that he did not want to think about, trying to push their way into his mind. He tried fighting them off, but as he finally drifted into a restless sleep, the thoughts became dreams and he was trapped. Quite literally, as he found himself spread out on a bed, his arms and legs pulled apart by ropes, biting into his skin.

“It hurts,” he whispered, but he was alone. No one responded.

And then he wasn’t alone. There was someone with him in the dark. Someone warm and smooth. Beautiful. Someone who was touching him with gentle hands. At first the hands were just caressing him. Stroking his arms, his legs, his chest and sides gently. Jim closed his eyes and sighed. It felt good. And made the pain from the ropes fade into the background.

The touches grew more intimate and Jim felt his body getting aroused. “Nice…” he mumbled, smiling at the unseen lover. He tried moving, inviting their touch, but the ropes seemed to tighten and he could do nothing but lie there and just receive.

It was frustrating, but also kind of nice. It made him feel safe. Taken care of. Then lips covered his. Soft lips. Sherlock!

The kiss was slow, tender, passionate. Hot. The kind of kiss you could wait a lifetime for. Jim moaned and nibbled at Sherlock’s lips, wanting to pull him close. To press their bodies together. To feel their skin touch. But the ropes held him down and Sherlock stayed distant.

Jim began begging. “Please… Touch me. Sherlock. Please. I need you.”

“I need you too,” Sherlock answered, his voice low and soft like velvet. “We are perfect together. We can do anything. Together.” He kissed Jim again and finally lowered himself down so he was resting on him, lips to lips, chest to chest, hip to hip. “Will you help me, Jim? Will you stay with me? You and me.”

“Yes!” Jim cried. “You and me.”

Sherlock began moving then, grinding against him and for a while everything was heat and touch, skin against skin, and low shuddering breaths. The pleasure was intense. There was pain too, but not a specific pain. Jim could not determine what was hurting and why. So he ignored it, instead rolling his hips up to meet Sherlock’s thrusts. It was utter bliss.

Then suddenly Sherlock cried out and spilled between them. Over and over again. And it was like liquid fire. It hurt so bad. Jim twisted and writhed, trying to escape the pain, but Sherlock held him down. And then it was just the ropes. And then they were gone too. Jim was alone. Completely alone on a large bed in a dark room. Curling up on himself, Jim cried. Trembled and sobbed until he finally woke himself up.

…

They were back in Angelo’s office, this time fully dressed and, at least for Jim’s part, quite determined not to make eye contact.

“You were right,” Angelo told Jim. “People are pretty eager to win an exclusive, signed pre-release version of Relevé. The issue’s out for three days and we’ve already received fifty reviews.”

“And what do they say?” Sebastian asked, impatience clear in his voice.

“It varies,” Angelo said. “A few said it was too messy. Too aggressive, according to some. But most…” He sighed. “Well, I must admit I lost the bet. They seem to like it. ‘Indescribably hot’, ‘holy fuck’, ‘best wank in a while’...”

He pushed over the stack of forms and Sebastian picked them up and thumbed through them with a growing grin.

“Relevé is finished?” Jim asked. “When did that happen? Who’s been doing the editing?” His hands were clenching the armrests of his chair so tightly it hurt. He had hoped the film would be pushed back because of the issues with the last scenes. Maybe dropped altogether.

“Oh, it’s not completely finished,” Angelo answered. “The winner will have to wait a couple of weeks before getting the prize. But it’ll be worth it…”

“One of yours, then?” Sebastian asked, smiling. “No wonder they’re doing their best to win. They’ll be happy to know they made another film with you happen through these.” He held up the reviews.

“I doubt that’s why they want it,” Jim muttered. “Let me see those.” He reached for the forms.

“This means we can do it, right?” Sebastian asked Angelo as Jim started reading. “The script I chose? Or do we need to wait until the deadline of the contest?”

“Of course I will have to see the script first,” Angelo said. “Make sure it’s all doable. And… Jim, are you sure you want to do another film with Sebastian so soon?”

Jim shrugged. “It’s not like you’ve got anything else lined up for me, is it?”

“Not immediately…” Angelo said, frowning a little.

“Then I might as well. I can’t just sit around doing nothing. My boss might decide I’m not worth my pay.” Jim got to his feet, tossing the stack of papers on Angelo’s desk. “Let me know when he okays the script,” he told Sebastian. “I’ll start memorising my lines.”

“Wait!” Sebastian called, coming after Jim as soon as he’d left Angelo’s office. “Jim… Are you okay? You know you don’t have to do this film, right?”

"If I want to work, I have to," Jim said. And then added: "And I do want to work. Even if it means letting you tie me up and fuck me. So let me know when and where, so we can get on with it."

Something shifted in Sebastian's eyes. "Jim..."

"Don't worry," Jim huffed, not wanting to hear whatever BDSM dogma Sebastian would spout this time. "I'll make it look good." He turned and walked away as fast as he could.

That night, Jim relived the filming of Relevé in his dream. Not every single shot, but the kissing. The dancing. And the time between filming, spending every waking moment with Sherlock. In his arms. Being so happy. Being so in love.

The next day, he went running for the first time in ages. Music blasting in his ears, he circled Hyde Park, not stopping until his muscles were burning. He limped home, indulged in a very long, very scented bath and then stumbled into bed, sleeping for almost fourteen hours.

No dreams.

He started either going to the gym or running in the park every day and found the physical exhaustion calming. He was actually feeling quite good. Until Sebastian called.

"Hey. How are you? You weren't at the studio so I asked Angelo for your number. Hope you don't mind..."

"Of course not," Jim said. "So are we doing the film? Your script?"

"Yes," Sebastian said. "Angelo actually liked it. Scheduled the filming next week. Will you be coming over one of these days so we can start preparing?"

"Coming over? You mean... your place?" He'd never been to Sherlock's flat. Not once. "Can't we just meet at the studio? That's where we usually go over lines and stuff. And we'll need the set to plan angles and positions."

"Sure, we can do it there, but I was thinking you might want a little more privacy," Sebastian replied. "It's the first time you'll be doing something like this, so... I think we should really rehearse this one. All of it."

"Oh..." Jim's mind went blank for a moment. "We don't... We don't usually do that. Just talk it over. To make sure we're on the same page. So to speak." He had no idea why he said the next bit. "But I see your point. So... Maybe meet tonight? After the others have gone home."

"Okay. That's a date." Sebastian chuckled. "What we'll be doing will be sort of fitting for a third date, I guess."

"It's not a date." Jim ended the call before Sebastian could hear him giggle.

What the hell had he done now? He should just call Sebastian back and tell him to meet him tomorrow during the day so they could do this the normal way. But he had been the one to suggest it. And he had read the script. There was nothing really bad in there. And even if things got out of hand, he could just tell Sebastian to stop.

He checked the time. He had better start getting ready. Humming to himself, he found the lube and the big plug.

Chapter Text

The cleaning crew was just finishing the main soundstage when Jim arrived. He greeted them cheerfully and then went to the dressing room. The script didn't call for many clothes, but he saw no need to be naked for a rehearsal, so he changed into shorts and a tight t-shirt.

Sebastian was already there when Jim returned to the stage. He was sitting on the foot of the bed in only his pants, typing on his phone.

“Hey. Good to see you.” He smiled as he looked up and patted the mattress next to him, quickly finishing whatever he was doing on his phone before he threw it into his backpack.

Jim frowned. "You should put on a shirt," he said. "It can get quite chilly here when the lights aren't on." He went to sit down too, keeping an appropriate distance to Sebastian. "Do you want to go over the lines?"

"I was actually thinking we'd ignore the lines for now," Sebastian said. "This is about your experience as an actor. You see, when people take on their role as a sub for the first time... It's a bit unpredictable. Some people come into the club all confident but safeword before we're five minutes in. And others are really nervous but manage to keep it together all the way through. So... I feel we should do this so there won't be any surprises for you while we're filming. Because yes, you know the script, but... I think you need to know how it feels in order to act it convincingly."

"Sticking to the script isn't really our thing anyway," Jim agreed. He would have preferred to stay in character, but he knew Sebastian was right. Doing something for the first time in front of the camera was not a good idea. "Right. So what should I do?"

"First of all, you need to pick a safeword," Sebastian said. "I know there is one in the script, but it should be yours. Something you will remember when you need me to stop. And no, 'stop' won't do." He smiled.

"What? Like lemon or something?"

"Uhm... If that's what you want to go with... But it may not be the easiest word to hear if you're, you know, moaning. Maybe something clearer?"

"I don't know... Colonel?" Jim suggested, remembering an article he’d been reading on the tube about difficult English words.

"Okay..." Sebastian said, frowning. "It’s not a lot clearer, but whatever.”

Jim shrugged. "It's not important. I won't need it. It's not like we're really doing this."

“The point rather is that we are doing this.” Sebastian was looking uncharacteristically serious. “That even though we're practising for a film, you can stop me at all times. You say the magic word and this is over."

"Okay, so we've got the word. Can we get started?"

"I didn't know you were that eager." Sebastian smiled. "Okay. So from this point on, you're going to follow my every order. I'm not going to ask anything beyond what the characters do in the script, so you know what to expect. And if you need to stop me, at any point, I won't judge you. I don't care that you're a professional and all that. Enough is enough and then we're done. Alright?"

Jim just nodded. He wanted to get this over with so they could do the bloody film. Then maybe Angelo would believe that Jim had more to offer than a hole for Sherlock to fill.

"Okay." There was some hesitation in Sebastian's eyes as he looked him up and down, but finally he nodded. "I want you to take off your clothes and then kneel on the bed."

"Is that really necessary?" Jim protested. "I don't want to catch a chill."

Sebastian raised an eyebrow. "Which part of 'following my every order' did you not understand? There is no need to think or question anything. I'll take care of all that for you. You just obey and sit there and I'll warm you up soon enough."

Jim rolled his eyes but stripped anyway and sat down on the bed.

"I said 'kneel'," Sebastian snapped, grabbing Jim's arm and pulling him up on his knees. "Geez, you're not going to make this easy, are you? I was going to leave out punishments because you're new to this, but..."

"You're not doing anything that’s not in the script," Jim taunted. "So you can't 'punish' me." He laughed. Sebastian was growing frustrated, which meant Jim's lack of cooperation was getting to him. This might be fun after all.

Sebastian bent over to growl in Jim's ear. "You're forgetting that the character in the script is a really good boy. If he wasn't, my character would also do what's necessary." Then he straightened and went over to the backpack to pick up a length of soft rope. "Don't move."

Jim hardly noticed the rope, being a lot more focused on convincing his body that there had been nothing arousing about what had just happened.

"That's better," Sebastian said, standing close again. "Just trust me." He pulled Jim's hands back and started tying the rope around his wrists. Then he put both ends over Jim's shoulders, letting them fall down his chest, and turned so he could see Jim's face. He reached out, moving his hand very slowly in the direction of Jim's cock.

"It's too tight," Jim said quickly, not wanting Sebastian's attention down there just yet.

Sebastian frowned and reached around to test the loop around Jim's wrist, pushing a finger between the rope and his skin. "No, it's not," he said. And his hand started approaching its goal again. "This will be easier if you're hard." On the last word, he stroked a single fingertip down Jim's cock.

Jim trembled and bit back a moan. "Fine," he huffed and stopped holding back, starting to swell almost instantly.

Sebastian smirked. "That's better." He took the ends of the rope again and loosely looped it around the base of his erection.

"You're not going to tie anything to that, are you?" Jim asked, looking down sceptically. He squirmed a little, testing the feel of the rope.

Sebastian just smirked and crossed the ropes, laying them past Jim's hips. Then he bound his ankles together, tightening it enough that Jim had to lean back just a little.

"How long am I supposed to stay like this?" Jim whined. "It's not exactly comfortable." He found that he had to focus to maintain his erection. That might not be a bad thing. Maybe it would deflate Sebastian a bit more. With a silent giggle he relaxed.

"That's it. Relax," Sebastian said. "It's not like you can do anything else now, anyway." He leaned in and slid his hands down from Jim’s collarbone to his lower stomach and then back up. He repeated the movement a few times and then suddenly, on his way back up, he pinched both of Jim's nipples hard.

"What the hell?" Jim cried, trying to pull away. "That fucking hurts!"

Sebastian chuckled. "See, that's why we have to do this now. Imagine this reaction on film." He continued rubbing Jim's nipples with his thumbs as he spoke.

"Can't you just pretend to pinch them?" Jim snarled. "Nobody's going to know the difference. Except me..."

"Nope." Sebastian pinched them again. "Your reaction wouldn't be the same."

"Ouch..." Jim whined. "It bloody hell won't. Stop doing that or I swear to god I'll punch you. As soon as I'm free of this crap." He began struggling in earnest, wincing as the rope tightened. He took a deep breath, calming himself. "According to your script my character is supposed to like this. The only genuine reaction you'll get is me getting pissed off, so how about cutting that shit out?"

"Fine." Sebastian took his hands away from Jim's chest. And let one of them come down hard on his right arse cheek. "But you don't get to talk to me like that. From now on you're calling me Sir. And you keep still when I tell you to." He slapped his arse again.

Jim squeaked. "That's not in the script. Stop that!" He felt his face grow hot. Sebastian couldn't be serious. Could he? Just in case, he added a reluctant: "Sir..."

"There, that's better." Sebastian stroked the sore spot on Jim's bum gently and then tipped his fingers under his chin, turning his face so he could kiss him softly.

Jim was more surprised by the kiss than anything that had gone before. "Wh... What?" he stammered when Sebastian pulled away. "That's all it takes?" Why was his voice trembling?

Sebastian chuckled. "That's all it takes, Sir." He trailed his fingers down Jim's chest again, but this time he didn't stop before he was holding Jim's cock.

Jim moaned and closed his eyes. "You don't have to do this... The sex bit. I already know how that feels."

"I know I don't have to do anything," Sebastian said, stroking him slowly. "I'm not the one in that position." He kissed him again, harder this time.

Jim let himself grin. "Well, I can't do much as long as I'm trussed up like this."

“You can do what I ask of you,” Sebastian reminded him, stepping back and looking down at him. “Look at you. You’re so gorgeous like this. I think some viewers will have come from seeing you all tied up even before we’ve gotten to this part of the film.”

Jim stuck his tongue out at Sebastian, but he was still smiling. “Flattery will get you nowhere,” he said. “Unless you buy me a couple of drinks first. Then my judgement tends to falter…”

“Interesting,” Sebastian said. “But I can’t remember ordering you to chat… Or telling you that you could drop the ‘Sir’...”

“Sorry… Sir…” Jim giggled. This was actually fun.

He pushed Jim’s shoulder hard, sending him backwards and making the rope strain.

“Ow!” Jim cried out, surprised at the unexpected pain. “What the hell?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Sebastian growled, looming over him.

That was one thing Jim was not capable of. “You are taking this way too serious, you know. You’re not my actual Dom or any such shit. You’re just an amateur actor trying to get a break. We are practising and if you don’t stop being a dick, I’m going to end this thing. And the film!”

Sebastian smirked. “And yet I haven’t heard your safeword. The whole point is me being a dick and making you do stuff. Because, as you have noticed, that means I get to reward you when you’re a good boy. You’re the only one making this so hard on yourself. You keep struggling while you should just let me handle things. Let me make you feel good. Better than you would ever allow yourself to feel. But no… It won’t work if you keep telling yourself that you should hate this.” He put a hand on Jim’s shoulder and steadied him on his knees again.

Jim stared up at him. A swarm of thoughts and emotions were fighting for dominance inside of him, but none of them could assert themselves over the din. So he was quite surprised that the words that made it out of his mouth were: “Maybe I don’t want to feel good.”

Sebastian sighed and nodded. “Yes. It sure looks like you don’t. That’s why you need this.”

“I don’t want to feel good with you,” Jim clarified, surprising himself again. “This is a job. I do this to make money. If anyone is going to make me feel good, I want it to be my lover. Not some random whore-gone-actor who happens to be the only one who’ll work with me right now.”

“So you won’t allow yourself to get any pleasure out of your work?” Sebastian asked. “In that case, are you sure you’ve chosen the right profession?”

“I get pleasure from my work. When I see a film turning out the way I wanted it to. When people watch it and like it.” He huffed. “I already told you, I took no pleasure from our last film. I was just desperate, wanting Angelo to see what I can do.”

Sebastian gave him a look. “Yes, you were desperate. But if it was about pleasing Angelo, you’d have done what he asked of us. You’d have followed the script. And yet you didn’t.”

“If I had followed the script, it would have been just another movie. Just something to stick in the last half of a compilation, where no one will ever watch it unless they wank themselves to sleep and happen to wake up when it’s on.”

Sebastian actually looked worried now and squeezed his shoulder gently. “No one in their right mind would put you in the last half of a compilation. Why would you think that? Don’t you know your own talents?”

“What talents?” Jim’s eyes were stinging and his voice sounded suspiciously like a scream. “Getting fucked and then being fucked over in front of the camera. Again and again and again. How many times does he want to record my heart b…” He stopped himself with a gasp that was almost a sob.

Sebastian wrapped his arms around him and pulled him against his chest, the rope still holding him at an unnatural angle. “I don’t know what happened to you,” he said softly against Jim’s hair before dropping a kiss on it. “But I know that you are a beautiful man. Probably the best actor in this whole company. Why would you care about the people who make you feel like you’re less than that?” He squeezed Jim gently and stroked his hair.

“Because he said he loved me,” Jim whispered. He wasn’t sure Sebastian even heard him, but it didn’t matter. Just having said it was like pushing a button. The tears began to flow and Jim buried his face in Sebastian’s shoulder.

Sebastian rocked him gently. “I’ve got you. It’s okay. You can let it all go.”

They stayed like this for a long time and Jim was vaguely aware that his arms and shoulders were starting to ache. But when Sebastian offered to untie him, he shook his head. “Not yet,” he whispered. “If it’s okay… Sir?”

Sebastian smiled. “You really don’t have to call me that anymore. We can just stop.”

“Now?” Jim asked, smiling too. “When I’m ready to be a good boy? When I am ready to feel good?”

Sebastian laughed. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, Sir!” And then for good measure he added a purring: “Please?”

Sebastian grinned and crushed his lips against Jim’s, messily licking and biting him until he was so turned on he feared he might pass out if he got any harder.

“Will your shoulders hold out longer?” Sebastian asked as he pulled back.

Jim considered for a moment. “Probably not,” he said, honestly. “It’s going to hurt like hell when you untie them, isn’t it?”

Sebastian nodded. “So… maybe we should delay that just a little longer? Just to see how good a boy you can really be?”

Jim tried to pout. “I was hoping you’d suck my cock to distract me from the pain…”

“I was hoping that, who?” Sebastian asked, quirking an eyebrow.

Jim laughed at this. “Suck my cock… Sir?”

“No, not like that. Not when it’s an order,” Sebastian said. “Try again.”

“Will you please suck my cock, Sir?” Jim asked, making his very best puppy eyes.

“That’s how you ask me something,” Sebastian said. He pulled Jim to the edge of the bed and then stood in front of him. “Now let me hear if you’ve learned your lesson. Beg.”

Jim wondered if Sebastian was taking this seriously or knew that Jim was just playing along as he smiled sweetly and whispered another: “Please… Sir…”

Sebastian nodded and bent over. But he didn’t sink to his knees and instead stretched his arms past Jim, plucking at the knot that held Jim’s ankles.

“No… Not that…” But it was too late. Apparently that one knot had been holding it all together and as the strain on his shoulders disappeared, Jim doubled over, whining at the pain that was now tearing through his limbs.

Sebastian grabbed his shoulder and pushed him onto his back again. “None of that,” he said sternly. “I can’t reach you like that.” And he put his hands on Jim’s hips, pinning him down, and swallowed his cock.

The pain was intense, but so was the pleasure. It was as if his aching muscles were serving as an amplifier, making every press of Sebastian’s lips, every swirl of his tongue send electric shocks through Jim’s body. “I hate you…” he gasped, trying to fight Sebastian off. It was too much. The turmoil he was barely recovering from mixed with the pain and the pleasure became something new. Something he couldn’t handle. His hands, which had been pulling at Sebastian’s hair to get him off, now pushed him down as his hips bucked and he came, harder and fiercer than he ever had before.

Sebastian kept licking and sucking him through his orgasm, softly stroking his hips. Finally he sat back and wiped his mouth, smiling down at Jim. “Told you I’d make you feel good.”

Jim couldn't move. He could hardly breathe. But at least he wasn't in pain anymore. As far as he could tell, anyway. All he could manage was a breathy: "Right..."

"However," Sebastian said, lying down next to him, "I didn't actually tell you that you were allowed to come yet."

"You didn't say I wasn't allowed," Jim pointed out.

"True." Sebastian grinned and kissed his nose. "But if we want to go through the script, we're actually not done..."

Jim groaned. "I'm tired. Do we have to?"

"No," Sebastian said. "We can do it another time. If you want to."

Jim sighed. "Fine..." he groaned. He doubted he'd be able to get in the right frame of mind again. "What's left?"

"You know what's left," Sebastian said, eyes twinkling as he stroked the length of Jim's arm. "But I'm not doing it for a 'fine'. You'll have to beg for it..."

"Right." Jim shrugged. "I really don't think we need to practise that bit."

"Alright." Sebastian put an arm around him and pulled him closer. "You've been very good. You'll do great in the film."

Jim snuggled against him and yawned. "Of course I will.."

Sebastian kissed his hair. "Don't fall asleep. I don't think it's a good idea if we lie here when they come in tomorrow."

Sighing, Jim forced his eyes open. "I guess you're right. But shouldn't you do that care thing? It seemed like a pretty big deal in the script."

Sebastian chuckled. "I'm not saying you have to get up right now. Just taking care you don't doze off." He nuzzled his temple. "Would you like a massage? Your muscles must be sore..."

"... 'nds nice..." Jim muttered against Sebastian's chest. "In a moment... So comfy..."

"You still can't fall asleep." Sebastian sounded amused but started threading his fingers through Jim's hair, which really wasn't very helpful. However, after a couple of minutes he gently rolled Jim onto his back and pushed himself up on his knees. He lifted Jim's right foot and after flexing and stretching it a few times, started rubbing the sole, and then slowly moved up to his ankle and then his calf.

Jim managed to stay awake. But just barely. Sebastian's hands on him felt so good. That man clearly knew a thing or two about how a body worked and how to treat it. At some point he was flipped over and Sebastian got to work on his shoulders and back, forcing a very rude moan from Jim.

Sebastian chuckled. "You can still change your mind, you know." He pressed his thumbs into the sides of Jim's lower back, tension melting away under his touch.

"Can I just lie here?" Jim muttered into the pillow.

"Of course," Sebastian answered, his hands lowering to the cheeks of Jim's arse.

"Then I'd like you to fuck me. Please. Sir..." Jim was glad Sebastian couldn't see his grin.

Sebastian continued massaging his arse a moment longer, spreading him open. He dropped a kiss on his lower back and then finally produced lube from - somewhere - and pushed in two fingers.

"Oh," he said. "You've been preparing..."

"Of course," Jim moaned. "I'm a professional."

Sebastian started thrusting his fingers, twisting them in just the right spot. With his other hand he slowly stroked Jim's back.

Jim let himself enjoy it, though the memory of how Sebastian had stretched him last time made him squirm with anticipation.

"No," Sebastian chided, giving him a rather soft slap with his free hand. "You said you wanted to just lie here, so you'll lie still."

Jim yelped playfully and then wiggled deliberately.

Immediately Sebastian's hand came down again, this time much harder. "What did I just tell you?" he growled.

"Oww....Sorry." Jim pouted into the pillow. It had felt kind of good when they were just playing. But this time it bloody hurt. He would have protested, but then Sebastian might change his plans, and Jim so wanted to be fucked. Right now, preferably.

"Sorry, who?" Sebastian demanded, his fingers moving more slowly.

"Sir..." Jim added petulantly. "Now would you please fuck me?"

"Hell yes." Sebastian pulled out his fingers and seemed to fumble for a few seconds before Jim heard a condom foil being ripped. A moment later, Sebastian was pushing into him.

A thought had been creeping into his mind, but was effectively crushed as the pain/pleasure was even better than last time.

As soon as he was completely in, Sebastian didn’t hold back and fucked Jim hard and fast, pushing him into the pillow with each thrust.

Jim had never been fucked like that. He had never imagined being fucked like that. It was rough, humiliating, a little painful. And absolutely, mind-blowingly hot! He cried out, pushing up against Sebastian, wanting him to go even deeper. That probably wasn't possible, but Jim still had to try. Never in his life had he felt so... owned…

In answer to his movements, Sebastian grabbed his hips and pushed him up a little, his rhythm never faltering.

“Fuck…” he panted. “Oh, fuck, you’re good… Such a good boy…”

Jim whined at the words. Why were they such a turn on? He should be insulted, but instead he felt himself wanting to hear them again. To earn them. "Fuck..." he groaned into the bed. "Don't stop..."

“You’re not… giving the orders…” Sebastian groaned, giving a couple more hard thrusts, and then he stilled and came.

Jim whimpered in frustration. Had Sebastian come out of spite? Just because Jim had told him not to? He wouldn't put it past him.

But then Sebastian planted his knees in the mattress, pulled Jim back against his chest and kissed his neck. "Tell me what you want," he ordered.

Jim gasped, leaning back against him. "I... I don't know..." he whined. He was hard, but not close to climax. He didn't want it to stop. He didn't want Sebastian to let go. But he couldn't say that. He couldn't beg Sebastian to hold him. So he just shook his head, whimpering.

"Then I'll just do what I want with you, hmm?" Jim felt Sebastian's smile against his neck as he lowered his right hand to his cock and started stroking fast.

Jim leaned back, letting himself be held up by Sebastian. The man seemed to be everywhere. Inside him. Around him. Closing his eyes, Jim felt the sensations wash over him and drown him until his climax made him curl up, sobbing from mental exhaustion.

He felt a twinge when Sebastian pulled out and let out a sigh of relief as he was allowed to collapse onto the bed. Sebastian might have touched him. Gently. He couldn't say for sure.

"Wake up." The whisper was followed by a kiss just under his ear. And something heavy was curled around his back. An arm.

"Wake up, Jim. It's getting late. We should move."

"No..." Jim mumbled. "Sleep..."

"I know." The arm tightened around him. "But we don't want them to find us here in the morning. I can get you home and then return to clean up."

"No..." Jim sat up, his head finally starting to clear. "I'll help... It's my mess too..." He giggled weakly.

"No." Sebastian sat up too and kissed Jim's shoulder. "Don't you worry about a thing. I'll take care of it. You've done enough for tonight."

"I didn't do anything," Jim said. "I just sat there and complained. Or lay there... That part was pretty good..." He smiled at Sebastian. "This time I did enjoy it. A lot."

"Me too." Sebastian returned the smile. "Thank you. I must admit... There was a moment when I didn't think you'd go through with this."

"Only one? I think I contemplated killing you at least twice." Jim stretched lazily and winced. "It was a clever thing you did. Getting me off like that. It will make it easier pretending I actually like that stuff when we're filming."

Sebastian chuckled. "Right..." He got up and picked up the condom wrapper he'd thrown to the ground, a flannel Jim hadn't seen before but explained why he wasn't as sticky as he'd expected, and the bottle of lube. "The rope didn't cut you, did it?" he asked as he walked to the nearest bin. "I checked but sometimes things only start aching afterwards..."

"Wait a minute!" Jim frowned. "Only one condom?" He tried thinking back. He had definitely heard him putting one on before... Then he remembered the heat of Sebastian's mouth. "You didn't...? You idiot!"

"What?" Sebastian turned to him. "Oh... That. Yeah... I kinda forgot. But we both get tested all the time, right?" He shrugged.

"That's not the point!" Jim yelled at him, stand up on the bed. "You never do it without a condom! Never!"

"Yeah, okay, calm down..." Sebastian looked a bit uncomfortable. "I'll remember in the future, but it's not like we can change anything about it now. I was a bit... caught in the moment."

Jim huffed and jumped to the floor, looking for his clothes. "Well, at least you didn't stick anything in me, so I guess it could be worse."

Sebastian quickly got dressed too and then started stripping the bed. "How did you get here? Would you like a lift home?"

"I took the tube, but I guess I'll have to get a taxi now. I'll be fine." Jim pulled on his pants. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"I've got my motorcycle here, though... It would really get you home quicker. So you can sleep. And so I can make sure you get home safe." Sebastian looked at him over the bunch of blankets.

Jim grinned. "It's good of you to offer, but I don't really feel like straddling anything tonight. Maybe some other time?" He blew Sebastian a kiss, and then hurried off to the dressing room.

Chapter Text

After the shoot, Jim took a week off, not really feeling comfortable around Sebastian. It wasn't so much the things he'd had him do on film. Or the things he'd done to him. It was that night they'd spent at the studio and how it had made him feel. He hadn't cried like that in ages. And he'd never admitted to anyone how much Sherlock had hurt him. He wasn't entirely sure Sebastian had known what he was talking about. Or had even heard him. But still... Putting it into words had brought the pain back. Had opened a wound that he hoped would finally be able to heal.

But when Angelo let him know that the first rough cut of Bonding was ready and already circulating the studio, he had to know. The first guy he met when he walked through the door, Tony, had obviously already seen it.

"That was so fricking hot, Jimmy," he said, clapping his back. "Do you know if Sebastian's got other projects planned? I'd love to get in on some of that action."

Stamford, who'd been passing them, winced. "I hope it won't get any more extreme if he does," he said.

"Made you blush, did he?" Tony teased. "I saw how you drooled over him when he was doing his test shots. Just admit you'd like to be the one begging on your knees."

"It's just acting," Jim muttered, pushing past them. "If you want to beg, go to one of those clubs. I'm sure they've got many more just like him."

"Oh no." Sebastian was standing just around the corner, grinning. "There's only one me, baby." He looked over Jim's head and winked at Tony.

Jim could have bitten off his tongue. Instead he glared up at Sebastian. "Don't look so smug. Not until you've heard Angelo's verdict."

"Tony likes it," Sebastian pointed out, looking down at him again. "And we had fun making it. That's reason enough to be smug."

"Mike hates it," Jim countered. "And you had fun making it. I was getting paid..." He headed up for Angelo's office, trying not to hear Tony sucking up to Sebastian back there. Angelo would probably not be too thrilled. Maybe the film would make it to a compilation, but he seriously doubted Angelo wanted to get into that particular market.

"Jim," Angelo greeted him when he entered the office. "I was hoping you'd pop in. Close the door, please."

"Don't you want Sebastian in here too?" Jim asked. "He's right down the hall. I could go get him."

"No, I'd like to talk to you alone for a moment," Angelo said. He waited until Jim sat down, then asked: "How did you feel about Bonding?"

Jim shrugged. "I haven't seen it yet, but I think we did a pretty convincing job. If the camera picked up what it was supposed to, I expect it will be pretty good."

Angelo nodded thoughtfully. "And how did you find working with Sebastian?"

"He's a bit unpolished," Jim said. "But he's definitely got talent. And there's no denying the camera loves him."

"And as a person?" Angelo asked. "Do you get along?"

"Yeah, he's fine," Jim said. "We get along. He... He's not avoiding me like most of the others."

Angelo frowned. "Are they avoiding you? Or are you avoiding them? I have a feeling you don't come to the studio anymore unless you really need to be here. And that's fine, I understand, but... I'm a bit worried about you, Jimmy."

"They think that if Sherlock sees them talking to me, he won't work with them. Which is pretty dumb, considering that he hasn't shown his face around here since we wrapped... that film..." Jim sighed. "Any word from him? Is he coming back to work at all?"

"Yes," Angelo said. "He is currently preparing to direct a project."

"Direct?" Jim supposed it made sense. Sherlock did always want to be in control of everything. "So he's giving up acting?"

Angelo shrugged. "For now. I don't know if someone like Sherlock can really leave acting behind for long. It's like he was born for it. But I must admit I'm curious what his directing will bring."

"Yeah. We'll all be holding our breath," Jim muttered, trying not to sulk. "So... What's the verdict on Bonding? Do you think it will sell?"

"Well..." Angelo hesitated. "It's different. Even after Something Hot, I think we'll have to see if our audience is interested. But then again, it might attract some viewers who haven't discovered UMQRA yet. And it's still a rather loving piece, so to speak, so... Maybe this is what we've been missing all along. I'm definitely willing to give it a chance and publish it on its own. Just a few hundred DVDs to start with and then we'll see what happens."

"Really?" Jim couldn't hide his surprise. So rather than barely holding on, he might actually be doing well? There might be a future for him in acting after all? And it was all thanks to Sebastian. Sebastian and his wicked, dirty mind.

Angelo smiled. "Would you like to bring Sebastian the good news? Otherwise you can just send him in here."

"Sure!" Jim jumped to his feet. "What about future projects? Will you let him do more of that genre?"

"If the film does well, yes."

"It will!" Jim ran, forgetting to close the door behind him.

When he found Sebastian, Tony was still trying to secure himself a part in his next movie, mainly through shameless flattery. But Jim didn't even care. "Sebastian!" he called, running up to him. "He liked it. He'll let us do more!"

"Great!" Sebastian turned towards him with a big smile. "Told you you'd be amazing at this."

Jim beamed up at him. "You did... I am..."

Sebastian chuckled fondly. "Oh yes. My very good boy." He leaned in, cupped Jim's face in his hands and kissed him.

Tony made himself scarce, but Jim hardly noticed as he wrapped his arms around Sebastian, all resolutions about not getting involved with another actor happily forgotten.

When they finally came up for air, Jim was dizzy, flushed and giggling like an idiot. "I... I still owe you that drink," he said. "I think I've got some beer at my place."

Sebastian hummed and dove in again, pulling Jim just a little off the floor. "I've got some water in the dressing room..." he replied when he'd put him down again. "You know, just to take the edge off..."

"What are we waiting for?" Flinging his arms around Sebastian's neck, Jim lifted himself up so that he could hook his legs around him. "I'm awfully thirsty."

Sebastian smirked, pushing his hips up against Jim's. There were some startled looks as he carried him to the dressing room, but no one got much time to react before Sebastian kicked the dressing room door shut behind them. He turned, pinning Jim against the door, and started biting at his lips.

Whining desperately, Jim rolled his hips against him.

"Fuck..." Sebastian breathed, moving one hand down to open Jim's jeans. He tugged them down just enough to slip his hand into Jim's pants and moaned.

"Yeah..." Jim agreed, trying to catch Sebastian's ear with his teeth, giving it a sharp nip.

Sebastian moaned even more loudly and moved his hand back under Jim's arse, holding him up as he stepped back to sit down on the bench. Then he pulled Jim closer in his lap. "That's better," he managed, before giving him another bruising kiss.

"Much better..." Jim shifted, trying to reach between them, so he could get his hands on Sebastian's cock. He had been dying to play with it since the first time he saw it.

Sebastian grunted and tilted his hips as Jim touched him through the fabric of his jeans. He reached down too and opened the button.

Jim finally got his hand inside Sebastian's pants and groaned as he wrapped his fingers around his cock. "How is this even legal?" he muttered, stroking him slowly. "That thing is positively lethal..."

Sebastian's laugh got lost in a groan. "Come here..." he growled. "I want to feel you..." He shoved Jim further into his lap again and pressed their cocks together, wrapping his large hand around them.

Jim grabbed Sebastian's shoulders and dug his fingers in, bucking his hips to thrust into his hand.

"Oh fuck," Sebastian gasped, tightening his grip and stroking them both. "Good... You're so good..." He sighed. "I've been thinking about that gorgeous little arse of yours... all the time..."

"Yeah?" Jim giggled. "Well, I've been hungry for that giant cock of yours since I first lay eyes on it." He kept thrusting against him, panting with lust.

Sebastian hummed, throwing his head back. "Guess we'll... need to take care of our needs later..."

Jim managed a sort of nod. "Sounds... good..." It sounded very good. It sounded like they'd be spending a lot of time together.

"Jim..." Sebastian groaned, his hips moving more desperately as he sucked Jim's neck.

"Yes!" Jim cried, grabbing Sebastian's hair and pulling hard. He was so close…

Sebastian let out another grunt and squeezed around their cocks, at the same time biting down on Jim's neck.

"Fuck!" The pain was the last straw and Jim came hard, trembling and clinging to Sebastian.

Sebastian let go of Jim's cock, stroking his own very fast now, and a moment later his ejaculate was landing on Jim's stomach. "Hell," he panted, holding Jim close to his chest as they both moved slowly, riding the aftershocks.

Jim was trying to come up with some clever remark. A way to let Sebastian know that this hadn't meant anything. But he couldn't. Because it had meant something. He wanted it to mean something. To mean everything. So he lifted his head from Sebastian's shoulder and, with what was probably a rather goofy smile, leaned in to kiss him. Not the hungry, desperate kisses they had shared before. But soft. Slow. Saying all those things Jim might never be able to put into words. It was a question. And it was an answer.

Sebastian smiled against his lips and gently stroked his back. "You have no idea what you do to me," he muttered.

"Turn you on?" Jim suggested, running his hands through Sebastian's hair. "Get you off?"

"Not just that." Sebastian pressed another gentle kiss to his lips.

"You want to tie me up?" Jim asked, surprised that he didn't really mind the idea. "Hurt me?"

Sebastian laughed. "You're adorable. I'm not going to deny that I'd love doing that more often. But it doesn't have to be all sex. I like having you around. You're funny and incredibly cute." He kissed Jim's nose to emphasise his point.

"I am? You do?" Jim blinked in confusion.

"Didn't I make that clear?" Sebastian asked. "If you'll let me, I want to take good care of you. Not just when it's for a job. And while we're on the subject of care... We really need a shower. And a washing machine." He chuckled, waving his hand between their shirts.

"Yeah..." Jim didn't really know what he was talking about. He was still trying to wrap his mind around the first part. "Take care of me... Like... Make sure I'm... okay?" That was not a concept Jim was familiar with. He had always taken care of himself. Not always successfully, but he'd gotten by.

Sebastian frowned. "More than okay, I'd hope. I want to make you feel good. Not just in bed, though I'll also keep you safe while I'm doing all those delicious things to you that I have in mind. But... You know..." He actually looked a little awkward. "Maybe that's not... what you were going for... If you prefer we just keep it to sex, I suppose we can..."

Jim leaned in to rest his forehead against Sebastian's. "I don't have much experience with the... not just in bed. But I would like to try. With you."

Sebastian smiled. "Good. So... How about starting with a shower experience?"

"Yeah... I guess we're quite a mess..." Jim got off Sebastian's lap, grabbed two of the robes and headed into the small bathroom.

The shower was nice. Very nice. There was a lot of kissing and Sebastian took great care to clean Jim all over. So great that when they finally dried themselves and put on the robes, Jim was half hard again. But he didn't plan on doing anything about it. After Sebastian had tossed their clothes in the washer down the hall, he'd finally provided the promised water and now they were snuggling on the sofa, kissing and giggling a lot. Jim was happier than he had been since... No. Even happier than that. Sebastian was a great guy and he was obviously as fond of Jim as Jim was of him.

He had just thought of something funny to say that Sebastian would probably find terribly cute when the door opened.

"Oh, hi," Stamford said as he entered the dressing room. "Hope I'm not interrupting anything?" He smiled and winked.

"Not at the moment, no," Sebastian answered, sounding smug.

Stamford laughed. "So it's true what they're all saying?"

"What are they saying?" Jim asked defensively.

"Well, that you two are an item..." Stamford shrugged. "I suppose I should have realised when we were filming Something Hot. I mean, the way you two went at each other... That couldn't be just acted, could it?" He laughed.

"It damn well can," Jim said, offended.

"Well, true, but... It wasn't acting there," Sebastian said. "I suppose a pro like Mike here can see the difference."

Stamford nodded, his eyes twinkling. "I knew it. Congratulations, you two naughty boys!"

"We..." Jim looked at Sebastian. Then he smiled. "We didn't want to say anything right away. Wanted to keep it to ourselves for a while. Sneaking around can be fun."

Sebastian's enthusiastic nod was very convincing.

"Well, don't worry. I'm just picking something up for Lee, so I won't ruin your moment," Mike said, moving over to rummage in a bag and take out a giant double-ended dildo. "But... You two aren't filming right now, are you? Why are you in your robes?"

"We had a little accident." Jim snorted and leaned on Sebastian. "Our clothes were in need of a little cleaning."

"Okay..." Stamford blushed and hurried back to the door. "Too much information, mates."

Still giggling, Jim nuzzled Sebastian's neck. "So... Tell me about your plans. What's our next film going to be about?"

Sebastian smiled. "I have something in mind that will need a very cute actor..."

"Oh..." Jim's face fell. "Well... We do have a few who fit that description. Would you like me to help you pick someone?"

Sebastian snorted. "Oh no, I have someone very specific in mind. He'll look perfect in a tail and collar."

"A what?" Jim pulled away from him. "No way... Especially not if you mean one of those tails that are... plugged in..."

Sebastian laughed. "It was just an idea. You know you don't have to do anything you don't want. Just seeing your face was worth the suggestion."

Jim pouted a little. He leaned on Sebastian again. "Maybe we should do something with a plot. Like Something Hot, but longer. An actual story."

"A plot?" Sebastian repeated. "For a porn movie? What do you have in mind?"

Jim shrugged. "Sometimes the sex works better in a context. I was thinking something forbidden. Like an affair. Two blokes who have different lives. Partners. But they meet and just can't resist. And then they're found out or one of them gets cold feet and calls it off. So they can pine for each other and then finally get back together and shag like their lives depended on it. Or maybe something about sneaking around. Like working in the same office and doing it every chance they get. In the broom closet. In the loo. Maybe even on their boss' desk. And then of course they're found out and fired. So they go off and start their own business and keep on fucking." He laughed.

Sebastian grinned. "I definitely like the sound of that last one."

"I can write it," Jim said eagerly. "And you can help add some kink. I'm thinking using ties to actually... tie..."

Sebastian nodded. "They could be used for some mild whipping as well. I once had a client who insisted on using his tie as much as possible in the act because it would make his day at the office less boring if he could think of what had happened to it. Though I believe we got it a bit stained in the end, so I'm not sure he actually wore it afterwards..."

Jim giggled. "We can use that too. Stained ties. And suits."

"Speaking of which, I'll go have a look if our clothes are ready to go in the drier." Sebastian got up.

Jim caught his wrist and pulled him back down. "You're not going anywhere without giving me a good snog. Something that I won't have recovered from when you get back."

Chapter Text

When their clothes were clean and dry, they walked out to Sebastian's motorcycle hand in hand, ignoring the comments and cheers from their colleagues.

Jim was grinning from ear to ear. It was so different from last time. Getting together with Sherlock had been the culmination of nearly two years of pining and despairing. Jim had been ecstatic but looking back on it, he had to admit that Sherlock had been far from enthusiastic. When they were alone he had played the part of devoted lover, but 'boyfriend' clearly wasn't in his repertoire. Not if it was supposed to be like this.

Sebastian had to bully him into putting on the spare helmet and then they were off, swerving through traffic, Jim clinging to Sebastian with a delicious mix of thrill and terror.

His knees were a little wobbly when they finally pulled up in front of his building, but walking with Sebastian's arm around his shoulders more than made up for that.

He got them two beers from the fridge and they spent a very enjoyable hour on the sofa, before their grumbling stomachs prompted them to call for pizzas.

"Do you want to watch something?" Sebastian asked.

"We could," Jim said, smiling. "But I'm afraid I've moved the telly to the bedroom. Helps when I can't sleep."

"Sounds comfy." Sebastian grinned.

"It is," Jim agreed. "Though if we eat while watching, please don't get cheese on the sheets..."

"Oh... You don't like getting your sheets dirty?" Sebastian winked. "I'm sure we can work around that..."

"I didn't say that." Jim felt his cheeks warm. "Cheese just makes these very annoying stains."

Sebastian nodded, his eyes twinkling. "I'll be careful. But I must say, I hadn't pegged you as the type that would lure me into the bedroom even before dinner."

"Shut up!" Jim punched Sebastian's shoulder. "You were the one who wanted to watch something..."

Sebastian chuckled and ruffled his hair. "Sorry. It's just so much fun teasing you."

Jim huffed, but couldn't help smiling a little.

"Let's go put something on before the pizzas arrive, then," Sebastian suggested, getting up and holding out his hand to Jim.

Jim took it and led him to the bedroom, but Sebastian stopped in the door opening, looking at the bed. "Black sheets?" he said. "Jim... You're a dream come true."

"Shut up!"

...

“Asparagus on pizza? Seriously?”

“What? It’s delicious!”

“I very seriously doubt that!” Jim wrinkled his nose and then picked up a piece of pepperoni that had been hiding in the corner of his box and tossed it into his mouth, giggling.

“Wanna taste?” Sebastian offered him a slice.

“Ewh… No!” Jim held two fingers up as a cross between them. “Get your abominable pizza away from me!”

Sebastian snorted. “What’s wrong with asparagus? I mean, I’d expect you to like them. Look at the shape…”

“Looks aren’t everything,” Jim said, still grinning.

“Well, I like them.” Sebastian shrugged. “It’s a wonder you aren’t meatier with all you have on your pizza, though.”

Jim glanced down at the heap of bacon, pepperoni, ham and sausages. “Yeah… I guess I can never make up my mind, so I just end up getting everything…”

Sebastian smirked at him. “Do you, now…”

Jim huffed. “Can’t we even get through a meal without you wanting to get back in my pants?”

“Remember that thing I said about teasing you? It still stands.”

“Oh… So you’re not expecting more sex today. Okay…” Jim shrugged and took a rather large bite of his pizza, making sure to get a little bit of all the toppings.

Sebastian looked at his mouth and licked his lips. “Like you’ll be able to keep your hands off me for long.”

“Don’t even think of challenging me on that,” Jim warned. “Or you’ll ruin something interesting before we’ve really begun.”

Sebastian grinned. “I don’t know… You don’t always need your hands for interesting stuff. I’m sure you’re clever enough to find a way around it.” He sucked a bit of asparagus between his lips before chewing it.

“Oh no…” Jim couldn’t help but watch Sebastian’s mouth. “You’re not tying me up again. That stuff is just for filming. You know it’s not really my thing.”

“And yet you’re the one who always brings it up,” Sebastian pointed out. “I wasn’t talking about tying. Just about… not using your hands.”

“Is this your subtle way of asking for a blowjob?”

“Oh, I’m not asking for anything,” Sebastian said. “Either I give orders or I take what you want to give me. But asking makes it feel like I have to talk you into it and… nah. That rather takes away the magic, doesn’t it?”

“What?” Jim frowned and shook his head. “That doesn’t make any sense…”

“It does to me.” Sebastian took another bite of Pizza From Hell.

“Well, you think asparagus on pizza makes sense,” Jim pointed out. “So I really don’t trust your judgement.”

Sebastian laughed and finished the last piece, then wiped his hands on the napkin. His attention was on the shooting scene on the telly for a moment, before he explained: “When I’m giving orders, you have a safeword to stop me at all times. And when you’re taking the initiative, it makes sense that you only do what you want to do. But if I have to ask… You might feel guilty if you don’t give in. Or you might feel that once you’ve said yes, there’s no way back. So… I don’t like actually asking for stuff.” He shrugged.

Sherlock always asked. Both when they were planning a film and when they were… when he was pretending that they were together. Jim had thought it was sweet. That it showed that Sherlock really cared about him and wanted to make sure that Jim was okay with everything. But if Sebastian was right, Sherlock might have been manipulating him the whole time.

Like when they had been filming Mind the Gap. It had hurt so bad, and Jim had wanted to stop, but Sherlock kept whispering if it was okay, every time the camera wasn’t on his face. And every time he asked, Jim had nodded, thinking that he could handle just a bit more. And he had. And when he had seen the film, he had been shocked how that pain had translated into passion for the camera. He had believed that Sherlock must have seen it that way and really thought that Jim was fine. He had believed that it was his own fault.

“Jim…?” Sebastian said. “I… I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. I mean… I hope I’ve made clear that what you want is important to me. We don’t need to do anything that involves me giving you orders. That’s what I want to avoid, doing stuff you’re not into…”

“Why?” Jim asked, looking down at the last slices, realising that he didn’t want them. “Why does it matter so much to you?”

Sebastian looked shocked. “We… We’re together. Aren’t we? What kind of a lover would I be if I didn’t care about your needs?”

“The ordinary kind? Isn’t that how most people do it? Go for what they want? What they need?” Jim closed the pizza box and leaned over to put it on the floor.

Sebastian’s hand landed on his shoulder and gently pulled him back. “I don’t know what kind of lovers you’ve had, Jim. But that’s not ordinary. That’s taking advantage of you.”

Jim wanted to pull away. To get off the bed, leave the room and go hide. Instead he turned towards Sebastian and curled up against him, resting his head on that strong broad chest. “He did…” he muttered.

Sebastian wrapped his arms around him and dropped a kiss on Jim’s head. “Then he was a bastard. I’m sorry.”

He slowly leaned back, lowering them on the mattress, the film completely forgotten.

Jim closed his eyes and tried focusing on nothing but Sebastian's arms around him. It felt good being held like that. It felt safe. He thought about the things Sebastian had said. About telling him what to do rather than asking. About only making him do things Sebastian already knew Jim wanted to do.

It did make a kind of sense. But you'd have to know each other very well for that kind of game to work. It wasn't just for casual sex.

Surely Sebastian didn't know Jim that well. Yet. Though he did seem to have an almost uncanny sense for what would be really hot at any given moment. Jim supposed that was something he'd picked up working at the club.

Sebastian might not be as smart as Sherlock. His films might not be as unique and game changing. But he knew a hell of a lot more about reading his partner. About making someone feel good. About making Jim feel good.

Jim tried to imagine what it would feel like to hand over control the way Sebastian talked about. To let him take charge completely. "It requires so much trust..." he muttered.

Sebastian nodded, his nose still in Jim's hair. "It does. But I'll keep you safe. I promise."

His words broke something inside Jim. Something that had ached for so long that its sudden absence seemed to burn. But the fire passed through him, and was soon nothing but a warm glow, making him feel both excited and calm. Eager and safe. "I know," he said, pulling back so that he could look up at Sebastian. "I know you will."

Sebastian smiled and drew him in for a gentle kiss.

Jim melted into the kiss, whining a little with a strange desperate need he could not understand.

Sebastian pulled him further up until Jim was leaning on his chest, his face cupped in those large hands as Sebastian's tongue explored his mouth. From there they slowly stroked down his neck, then tangled in the soft cotton of Jim's t-shirt, tugging it up to get at the skin of his lower back.

Wanting more, Jim began squirming, trying to get his shirt off without interrupting the kiss. A futile endeavor which soon had him all but fixated by his own clothes.

Sebastian chuckled, pulling back. "First you say I can't tie you up and then you do it for me?"

"Shut up!" Jim snorted. "And help me."

Giggling, Sebastian pulled the black shirt over Jim's head. "Hmm..." he said thoughtfully as he held the rolled-up fabric up in his hands.

Jim glared down at him. "What? What's wrong with my shirt?"

"Oh, don't worry, I won't judge your fashion choices." Sebastian smirked. "I'm just thinking it could be useful..."

"Oh, okay." Jim went in for another kiss. "Just don't ruin it."

"I won't. Trust me." Sebastian gently pushed Jim back until he could sit up on his knees. He rolled up the shirt a little tighter and then put it in front of Jim's eyes, knotting it behind his head.

Jim almost pulled away. But he did trust Sebastian. And even though he wasn't too keen on this, he figured it couldn't hurt, so he smiled to show Sebastian it was fine and then waited, wondering what he'd do next.

Sebastian spent another moment making sure that the shirt didn't fall over Jim's nose, then kissed him again and stroked both hands down his arms. "You really look good in black."

"You mean I look good when you cover half my face?" Jim teased. It was strange, not being able to see his lover. But it felt oddly safe too. And arousing. He tried to find Sebastian's lips again.

Sebastian chuckled and Jim ended up kissing his fingers instead of his mouth. "Believe me, I already miss those eyes of yours. But it'll be worth it."

A kiss landed on Jim's chest, and Sebastian followed a slow path down, never going in a straight line but randomly placing his lips on his ribs or next to his belly-button and once back on his jaw, sometimes moving up rather than down, but finally arriving at the waist-band of Jim's jeans.

He opened them quickly and dove in, brushing his hot lips over the fabric of Jim's pants, following the outline of his cock.

The gasp that escaped Jim was equal parts surprise and pleasure. Not being able to see what was coming definitely enhanced the sensation.

But Sebastian only lingered there for a moment before Jim felt a shift on the mattress. "Stay where you are," he said. "I need a minute and I don't want you to fall off the bed trying to touch me."

Jim was curious, but sat obediently, waiting.

The sound of a zipper sounded, followed by the shift of fabric over skin. Not much later, Sebastian took Jim's hands. "I'm going to help you up. Hold on and follow me."

After almost falling over the edge of the bed, Jim silently began questioning the whole project, but he was determined to show Sebastian that he could handle it, so he just laughed and smiled.

Sebastian kissed his cheek, still holding him up strongly by his hands, and finally stopped him a few steps away from the bed. Without further ado, he shoved Jim's trousers and pants down to his ankles and then grabbed one of his hands again. "Step out of them," he ordered.

"Yes, Sir." Jim would have preferred not to giggle, but he couldn't help himself.

It earned him an almost gentle flick of a hand against his bum. Then Sebastian's knee clicked as he crouched and his naked thigh brushed Jim’s calf. He lifted one foot and then the other to pluck off Jim's socks.

"There. Much better," he said, hand trailing up Jim's leg as he straightened again. "Now... Tell me where I can find what we need."

Jim really hoped the heat he was feeling wasn't a blush. And if it was, that Sebastian hadn't noticed. "Top drawer of the dresser by the door," he said before remembering that he had also put his new plug in there after cleaning it. Fuck!

Sebastian rummaged in the dresser, but Jim was spared from comments. He heard the drawer being shut again and the telly being turned off, but then it was completely silent. Until suddenly two large hands were spreading the cheeks of his arse.

"Woaw..." Jim was caught off guard and pulled away, so quickly that he lost his balance. His arms flailed as he both tried to catch himself and get rid of the blindfold, certain he would hit his head on the bed if he fell.

But Sebastian's warm, strong hands caught him by the waist and pulled him back. "I didn't say you could move," he teased, rubbing his stubbled cheek against an arse cheek and leaving a hand low on Jim's stomach to keep him close.

Jim was trembling, but still managed to sound almost cocky as he retorted: "Then don't startle me."

"You shouldn't let yourself be scared of anything. I've got you," Sebastian said. The cap of the bottle of lube clicked.

Jim tensed just a little. He hadn't been preparing this time, not expecting any of this to happen.

"I wasn't scared. Just startled."

"Right..." The back of Sebastian's hand brushed Jim's bum a few times, petting him. And then, suddenly, he bit down on Jim's right arse cheek.

Jim howled and twisted away. "Ow! That bloody hurt."

"Oh. You liked when I bit you... earlier..." Sebastian petted the sore skin.

Jim huffed. "I didn't say I didn't like it..." he muttered. "Just that it hurt... And it feels strange when I can't see you."

"Ah." Sebastian's chuckle sounded far too triumphant. "Yes. That's rather the point, isn't it?" And he slipped a slick finger between the cheeks of Jim's arse.

Jim gasped, this time with pleasure. And just a tiny bit of relief that Sebastian was going to take time to get him ready. At least he hoped that was what he was planning.

For a while Sebastian just rubbed between his cheeks, not even trying to breach. Then, finally, he started brushing Jim's opening, at the same time stroking his other hand down his stomach.

Once Jim had relaxed enough that Sebastian could slip his finger in, he pulled back, only leaving the hand on his stomach. And then, without warning, Jim was lifted off his feet.

"What... What are you doing?" Jim cried, squirming as he felt himself starting to panic.

"Ssh," Sebastian said in his ear. "I'm just letting you get a bit more comfortable." He lowered Jim on the mattress, manhandling him a bit until he was on his knees again.

As soon as Jim felt the bed under him, he relaxed. "Warn me next time, okay?" he said. This game was starting to mess with his head. "You know, I could just take it off. I'm only leaving the blindfold on because I trust you. But throw me around like that again and we stop, okay?"

"You know the word," Sebastian answered. The mattress dipped as he sat behind Jim and then the finger returned.

"Don't make me use it," Jim said, moaning as he felt the tip slip inside him.

He bent forward, resting his hands on the mattress and, when Sebastian didn't protest, he parted his legs a little. He was almost (but only almost) disappointed that the movement didn't earn him another of those silly little slaps. But before he could start debating why they felt so good but really shouldn't, Sebastian began sliding his finger in and Jim's mind went blissfully blank. A few minutes later, Jim had made up his mind about the blindfold. He was definitely into that!

Because he couldn't see, he was able to focus on feeling. And, absurdly - since Sebastian could still see him - he wasn't thinking about how he looked. On film it was always about the appearance. Was he turned the right way? Was he making a stupid face? And with Sherlock it had been the same, because the man was so bloody gorgeous, Jim had been desperately trying to live up to it. But now he didn't give a fuck if he looked like a fool. He just wanted Sebastian to keep pumping that finger into him, fast and hard. And that bloody bastard knew what he was doing. He wasn't just going for Jim's prostate, but moving and twisting his finger so that he'd keep missing it and then, just when Jim wasn't expecting it, he'd brush over it, making him shake and moan.

Soon Jim had to settle down on his elbows, unable to hold himself up. A moment later, Sebastian added a second finger and Jim whimpered. "So good..." he whined. "It feels so good."

"Yes," Sebastian said. "Tell me how good you are feeling. What you want me to do next."

Jim wasn't sure he was ready, but he still knew exactly what he wanted. "I want you to fuck me..." he gasped. "Please fuck me..."

"Not quite yet," Sebastian said. "I'm pretty big. You may have noticed..." But he did add another finger.

"Y... Yes..." Jim groaned. "It did occur to me that the cock ripping me open was a bit larger than average."

"As if you cared." Sebastian laughed. "I've seen that toy you have in your drawer..."

"I got that when I learned I would be filming with you..." Jim admitted. "A real pain in the arse the first time I used it."

Still laughing, Sebastian pressed a kiss on his shoulder blade and then slowly pulled out his fingers. "On your back," he said.

Trying to hide his surprise, Jim lay down and turned onto his back. He had expected Sebastian to keep him on his knees for this. It was strange facing him, but not being able to see him.

"Lift your hips," Sebastian ordered. As Jim obeyed, he put a pillow in place, and then pulled Jim's feet out from under him so he fell down on it.

"So..." he said, pushing Jim's legs further open, the mattress dipping between them. "You bought a toy especially for me?" A wrapper was torn and then the cap of the lube clicked again.

"I bought it for me," Jim said. "Because I wanted to do that film. With you."

"Exactly." Sebastian leaned over him and gently bit his earlobe.

"Using it wasn't exactly pleasurable." At least not the first time, but why tell Sebastian that?

"And the real thing?" Sebastian's cock nudged against Jim's arse.

"Hurts too," Jim moaned. "But feels so good... Please..."

Sebastian shifted so he could start pushing in and bit down on Jim's collar bone, harder this time.

Jim cried out again, but this time it wasn’t in protest. This was just the right mix of pleasure and pain and he flung his arms around Sebastian, eager for more.

Sebastian slowly started working himself in, always pulling back a little before he slid in the slightest bit further. As he licked and nipped more at Jim's neck and chest, Jim felt himself relaxing, only now realising how much he'd been expecting pain.

"Still with me?" Sebastian asked, thankfully not stopping his deliberate rhythm.

Jim quickly closed his mouth and nodded. "It's... good..." he whispered.

"Okay." Sebastian pressed a kiss to his neck and then pushed in even more slowly until he couldn't go any further, letting out a long sigh of pleasure.

He held still for so long that Jim had almost made up his mind to demand that he move when Sebastian began rolling his hips. Every slow thrust went deep, making Jim moan with pleasure and almost-pain. Being less prepared made him feel Sebastian's size even more keenly than the other times and he could not deny that it felt good being stretched and filled to the point where he thought he couldn't take it anymore. And then finding that he could. Over and over again. Clinging to Sebastian, he matched his movements, whimpering in a very undignified way, that he would never have allowed himself if there had been a camera present. Or Sherlock. Sherlock was so controlled that Jim had not dared let go with him.

But right now, he just wanted Sebastian to continue pushing into him, his hands groping and caressing him. It was unlike anything he had ever experienced and he did not want it to end.

But eventually it did. Sebastian began moving faster and then lifted himself up so that he could get a hand between them. As he wrapped his fingers around Jim's cock and stroked him in time with the thrusts, their lips came together and Sebastian kissed him through his climax, muffling the cries and moans.

Finally the fingers of Sebastian's left hand hooked behind the rolled-up t-shirt and he pulled it over Jim's head, allowing him to see. He broke the kiss, smiling down at Jim, before carefully sitting back, holding the condom in place as he pulled out. Then he sat up on his knees, giving Jim a good view as he fucked his own right hand, which was partly covered with Jim's come.

Jim squinted and blinked, trying to cope with the all too bright light, not wanting to miss a second of the sight in front of him.

It didn't take long before Sebastian curved his back and groaned, watching Jim until he was filling the condom, his eyes falling shut as he gave himself a few last strokes.

Jim laughed breathlessly. "My own private show..." His voice sounded strange to himself.

Sebastian gasped out a laugh too. "All yours." He tied off the condom and then lowered himself half on top of Jim, putting an arm around him and kissing his temple.

Jim wasn’t sure who had drifted off first, but when he woke, Sebastian’s arms were still around him, his chest hair tickling in his nose. Jim fought the urge to sneeze and turned his head a little, so that he could look up at his sleeping lover’s face.

Lover… That’s what they were, right? Things had gone way beyond casual and not just because of them sleeping together. In Jim’s bed. Last night had been like nothing Jim had ever felt before. Not some cliché about mindblowing sex. It had just been so very… different.

When Sebastian blindfolded him, Jim had expected things to get rough and hot. That Sebastian would tie him up and tease him before using him. Like in that film they’d done. But instead he had been so tender. Gentle. Jim would not have believed that sex could be like that.

He had always thought it was just a myth. Something people made up to justify their needs or something. But what they had done… It could only be called one thing. Right?

Sebastian made a sort of grunting sound and, giggling, Jim surged up to kiss him. “Good morning,” he purred against his lips. “And thank you.”

Sebastian smiled and kissed him back before croaking: “Hey.”

“That was really good,” Jim said, grinning. “Last night. It felt amazing. Both the sex and the… Not being able to see.”

Sebastian hummed and brought up a hand to play with Jim’s hair. “Yeah… It was.” For a moment he just lay there, sleepily scratching his nails against Jim’s skull, before their eyes met again. “Would you like some more?”

“I’d love some,” Jim said. “But not right now. It still aches a bit. It’s almost like you’re still inside me.” He giggled again. “It’s not a bad feeling. But if we tried again now, I’m pretty sure I’d be feeling it for a week.”

“You can get some without me being inside you…” Sebastian muttered, his breath hot against Jim’s ear as he propped himself up on his elbows.

“Or maybe I can just get some breakfast?” Jim suggested. “Without the blindfold.” He frowned as the unbidden image of himself sitting blindfolded on a chair while Sebastian fed him treats popped into his head, making him shiver.

Sebastian looked puzzled for a moment, but then pecked his lips and leaned back against the pillow. “Alright. Need any help?”

“Thanks,” Jim said, rolling away from Sebastian. “I think I have some eggs. And there’s bacon in the fridge. I’m out of coffee, but tea will do.” He sighed and closed his eyes, smiling.

Sebastian snorted. “Right… I guess it’s only fair you put me to work now.” The mattress shifted and he padded to the door.

Jim opened one eye, surprised that Sebastian had actually gone to the kitchen. Sherlock had never gotten him as much as a glass of water…

Sighing happily, he stretched and nuzzled his pillow.

“Jim?” Sebastian’s voice sounded softly. “Are you awake?”

"Mmmmmhhhhh?" Waking up the second time was a lot harder. He blinked and tried to focus.

Finally Sebastian came into view, holding two plates and smiling. "Sorry it took a while. Had trouble finding a pan."

Jim sat up, yawning. "'s fine..." he mumbled. "I took a nap..." He shifted to one side, making room for Sebastian.

Sebastian sat down and handed Jim his plate, balancing his own in his lap, then turned towards the night table to pour them both tea.

"You actually cooked me breakfast?" Jim asked, looking at his plate, not quite believing it. "I was only joking."

Sebastian shrugged and handed him a cup. "I'm a bit peckish myself. Hope it's okay." He also handed Jim a fork and knife, then attacked his own plate.

Jim sipped the tea but it was too hot to drink without milk and he put it on the nightstand, deciding against mentioning this to Sebastian. Instead he leaned over to kiss his cheek before starting on his own food. It was very good.

"Any plans for today?" Sebastian asked when he'd almost finished his food.

Jim nodded. "I want to get started on that script. About the office romance."

"Right." Sebastian smiled. "So do you want some input, or should I... you know, leave you alone with the muse?"

"You're my muse, " Jim said before realising how soppy that sounded. "I mean, I would like it if you'd help. Please."

Of course Sebastian's wicked grin woke up at that. Of course. "If I'm a muse, does that mean I should wear a sheet? Like an Ancient Greek?"

"Of course." Jim giggled at the mental image. "Or nothing. I'm sure that would be very inspiring."

"I'm not sure 'inspiring' and 'distracting' always mean the same thing." Sebastian winked and then put his plate aside.

"I'll be the judge of that." Jim grinned and picked up a slice of bacon, crunching it between his teeth.

Chapter Text

SCENE I

Interior. Open office landscape. There are people working in most of the cubicles. Pan to ANTHONY staring blankly at his screen. He stands up, picks up a couple of papers and walks through the room to a door at the far end.

Cut to small, cluttered room. On the shelves are various office supplies, but most of the space is taken up by a large photocopier. It is humming rhythmically, spitting out stacks of paper. MARKUS is standing by it, looking rather bored. The door opens and ANTHONY enters.

ANTHONY: Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realise anyone was using it. I… I can come back later. (Turns to leave.)

MARKUS: No... Please don’t go. I’ll be done soon. (Sighs and laughs.) I’ve been in here for almost an hour. I’m about to go nuts. I could really use the company. (Smiles and winks at ANTHONY.)

ANTHONY: (Flustered) Okay… Yeah. I guess I could use the break. (Closes the door and leans against it.) You’re new here, right? Started last week.

MARKUS: Yeah. I used to work at the branch down in Brighton. But I got transferred to London. Which is cool because your offices are much nicer. But it also kind of sucks since I don’t know anybody here.

ANTHONY: (Hesitates, then offers his hand.) I’m Anthony. If you want, I can show you around. Introduce you to everybody.

MARKUS: (Shakes his hand. Firmly.) I’m Markus. I’d like that. Thanks. (Realises that the copier has stopped.) Looks like I’m done here. (Picks up the papers and heads for the door.)

ANTHONY: Tonight? After work?

MARKUS: (Smiles.) Sure. Meet you out front?

…

“Sounds familiar,” Sebastian remarked, lifting his head from Jim’s shoulder, where he’d been reading what he was typing. “A first day at work, meeting a helpful colleague… I’m guessing I’ll play Markus, then?”

"Of course," Jim said, turning his head to catch a quick kiss. "To both. I'm writing Markus for you. And I'm using inspiration from my own life. That's how it's done. Write what you know."

"Oh. So everything they get up to, we should do too, right? Now I understand why I have to be your muse." Sebastian grinned.

"We will be doing it," Jim pointed out. "When we're filming."

"But you have to write it first," Sebastian retorted. "And you can only do that if you've lived it, right?"

"Well. I've been out for a pint with you, so I think it's safe to keep writing. For now..."

...

SCENE III

Everyone else has left. MARKUS and ANTHONY are still sitting at the bar. Talking. An upbeat song comes on.

MARKUS: Oh, I love this one. Come on. Let’s dance.

ANTHONY: (Startled) What, here? (He looks around.) We can’t. People will stare.

MARKUS: Who cares? They’re all drunk. And besides, there’s nobody we know. You don’t have to worry about rumours getting started.

ANTHONY considers, then nods. He follows MARKUS to the dance floor and they begin moving. MARKUS is a very good dancer. ANTHONY a bit hesitant. As they rock to the beat, MARKUS moves closer, grinning down at ANTHONY.

…

“You better hope I can dance,” Sebastian said.

"I've seen you perform," Jim said. Anyone who can move like that for the camera can do it to a beat."

Sebastian chuckled. "Thanks. I should take you out sometime..."

...

The song ends and ANTHONY starts to turn to leave the floor. But as a slow song starts, MARKUS grabs his wrist and pulls him close. ANTHONY is about to protest, but MARKUS wraps his arms around him and starts dancing. ANTHONY surrenders and leans on MARKUS’ chest.

Cut to exterior, alley. ANTHONY has his back against the wall. He is looking slightly dazed. MARKUS is facing him, his left hand braced against the wall, right next to ANTHONY’s head. He is very close. ANTHONY licks his lips. He looks nervous. Almost terrified. MARKUS cocks his head, smiles and then leans in and kisses him. The kiss is slow at first. Soft. But it gradually deepens, turning hungry. Desperate on ANTHONY’s part, demanding on MARKUS’.

After a while, MARKUS moves down to kiss ANTHONY’s neck while unbuttoning his shirt. He works his way down his chest and stomach and ends up kneeling in front of him, eyeing the bulge in his trousers hungrily.

…

Sebastian snorted. “Well, you’re still drawing from what you know, so I’m guessing we don’t need to practise this one either.”

"Well..." Jim smirked at him. "I may need to do some more research. So I don't make it too advanced for you..."

Sebastian raised his eyebrows. “Really? For me? I think I’ve given enough blowjobs to know I can handle anything.”

"Well, you're not writing this," Jim pointed out. "I have very little data to go on..."

"You could always let the actor improvise." Sebastian smirked. "Or you could just tell me that you want a blowjob. You don't have to put it in a movie every time you'd like something..."

"Are your questioning my motives?" Jim tried to look offended but a very insistent grin was making it almost impossible.

“Should I?” Sebastian slid off the sofa onto his knees and turned towards Jim, trailing his hands over his thighs.

“Oh yes,” Jim said, giving in to the grin as he grabbed two handfuls of Sebastian’s hair and pulled his head down.

...

SCENE VII

Interior. Copy room. ANTHONY and MARKUS are kissing heatedly. As MARKUS tries to slip ANTHONY’s jacket off his shoulders, ANTHONY breaks the kiss.

ANTHONY: No! Not here! We’ll get caught. Someone could walk in any second.

MARKUS: So let them. I want you. Now!

He pulls ANTHONY close and starts kissing him again. He gets the jacket off him and starts unbuttoning his shirt. ANTHONY pushes him away again.

ANTHONY: Don’t! Stop.

MARKUS: (Takes a step back.) If you really want me to stop, okay. But think about it. How often do people actually come in here? A few times a day. We’ve been snogging here for weeks and we haven’t been caught once. (Looks at his watch.) Besides, most people are at lunch right now. So it’s the perfect time. Come on. Haven’t you always wanted to try this? To be really naughty and do it someplace where you really shouldn’t?

ANTHONY bites his lip and nods.

MARKUS: It’ll be even better because of the risk of getting caught. You’ll see. All you have to do is keep quiet. Can you do that?

(MARKUS starts unbuttoning ANTHONY’S shirt. ANTHONY lets him, closing his eyes.)

ANTHONY: I can never keep quiet when you’re fucking me. You know that.

MARKUS: I’ll help you. (Slips ANTHONY’S tie off and gags him with it.)

ANTHONY’s eyes widen in surprise but then he nods and helps MARKUS get his shirt and trousers open. Once his arse is bare, MARKUS sucks on a finger, reaches behind ANTHONY and starts fingering him.

…

“I think you’ve written enough for today,” Sebastian rumbled in Jim’s ear.

“But…” Jim protested, gesturing at his laptop. “I’m just getting to a good bit…”

“I’m sure you’ll remember where this was going. It’s getting late and I’d like to get laid…”

“Oh…” Jim almost forgot to hit ‘save’ before closing the laptop with a very audible snap.

Sebastian snorted. “I can’t believe that line worked.”

“Shut up,” Jim huffed, wrapping himself around Sebastian. “And take me to bed.”

...

SCENE XXIII

Interior. Large corner office. A woman, SUSAN, is sitting behind a wide desk. ANTHONY and MARKUS are standing in front of her, looking out of breath. There is a large white stain drying on the thigh of MARKUS’ dark blue suit. ANTHONY’s tie is loose and crumpled.

SUSAN: So… How long has this been going on?

The men look at each other, trying not to smile.

Flashback: SCENE V - ANTHONY giving MARKUS a blowjob in the broom cupboard.

SUSAN: I have no issue with what you do in your spare time, but here at the office, I expect everyone to conduct themselves professionally.

Flashback: SCENE VII - ANTHONY, gagged and with his hands bound behind his back is bent over the copy machine. MARKUS is behind him, thrusting fast and hard.

SUSAN: This kind of thing is just not acceptable. (Stands and slams her hand on the table for emphasis.)

ANTHONY watches her hand, swallowing hard.

Flashback: SCENE IX - ANTHONY is lying on his back on SUSAN’s desk, MARKUS on top of him. They are both naked and moving slowly together while kissing passionately.

...

Angelo sighed and looked up from the script. “I’m sorry, boys. This isn’t going to work.”

“What?” Jim had been leaning back in his chair, enjoying the warmth of Sebastian’s arm around him. “Why not? What’s wrong?”

“It’s just… The plot doesn’t exactly give it a new dimension. It only makes it slow.” Angelo shook his head. “I’m sorry. I’ve loved experimenting with bigger productions when we had clever scripts, but… We can’t use more than a couple of scenes out of this.”

“Clever scripts?” Jim would have jumped to his feet if Sebastian hadn’t held onto him. “You mean Sherlock scripts, don’t you? You’re not even going to give this a chance because it wasn’t written by him?”

“Jim… You know that’s not true.” Angelo leaned forward on his desk, looking earnest. “It’s not like I only make films that are written by Sherlock, right? But you’ve got your target audiences mixed up in this. This is for people who will commit to a long film, but without an intricate plot, and full of kink. How do we sell that?”

“It’s not finished,” Jim muttered, but he knew it was hopeless. Angelo was too besotted with Sherlock’s talent to ever consider that anyone else could do the same. He sighed and turned to Sebastian. “Let’s get out of here,” he said. “This is a waste of time.”

“But we can use those separate scenes, right?” Sebastian said, looking over at Angelo. “If we work on them?”

“I will consider it,” Angelo said, nodding.

“So it hasn’t all been for nothing.” Sebastian tried a smile at Jim.

“You’re not butchering my film!” Jim did jump to his feet this time and stalked out the door.

“Jim!”

He’d made it all the way down the stairs before Sebastian caught up. “Leave me alone,” Jim huffed, not even slowing down or looking at him.

“Hey.” Sebastian took his arm from behind, pulling him back. He stroked up and down Jim’s upper arms a little. “I’m sorry. I really thought he’d accept it, too. But you shouldn’t let him discourage you.”

Jim tried to pull away from him. He was furious and not in the mood to be handled. Not even by Sebastian.

But Sebastian tightened his grip. “Jim. Look at me.”

“That hurts…” Jim began, glaring up at Sebastian. But the look in his eyes made Jim stop. There was no pity there. Or disappointment. Just a quiet strength. Like he wasn’t going to let Jim go but also… That he understood his anger and was there for him.

Still holding onto him, Sebastian lowered his head and kissed him hard.

“Listen,” he said when he pulled back. “This sucks. I agree. But it doesn’t mean that your writing isn’t good enough. Only that Angelo doesn’t think he can find a market for it at this point. But we might be able to use it later. It isn’t lost. It just means that now we have to write something that Angelo has to accept. Okay?”

Jim wasn't ready to calm down yet, but settled for pouting.

One of Sebastian's hands moved to tip his head up. "Answer me," he said, his voice taking on a threatening tone. "Okay?"

"Okay..."

"There you go." Sebastian kissed him again, crowding him against the wall. But as someone cleared their throat loudly in passing by, Sebastian pulled back again.

"You know this place better than me," he murmured, his breath hot in Jim's ear. "There must be an office or something where no one will walk in right now."

"Sally!" Jim gasped. "She's in Spain. Her office is two doors down..."

"Come on." Sebastian grabbed him by the collar and pushed him in front of him, into the office. "Marketing, huh?" He smirked, checking out the posters on the wall for a moment while he shut the door.

Jim nodded, giggling as he realised they were on the exact same page. He glanced over at the desk. Not as large as the one he'd pictured for the film, but it would do.

Sebastian stepped closer again, attacking his mouth while he unbuttoned Jim's jeans and shoved them down.

Somehow they made it all the way to the desk without stumbling, even though they'd lost most of their clothes along the way. Jim didn't even try to suppress his eager whimper as Sebastian swooped him up in his arms and kissed him deeply before lowering him onto the desk. They'd shagged that morning, so when Sebastian had rolled on the condom and applied a bit of the lube which he had, luckily, bought on the way to the studio, he slipped into Jim easily and soon they were moving together in a way that Jim knew would have looked absolutely mesmerising on film.

Sebastian was kissing his neck, mumbling incoherent things about how good Jim was, and Jim was starting to get close when suddenly Sebastian stopped.

A second later, the door opened.

“Oh, fuck!” Mike Stamford’s voice sounded. “Jesus, again!” And it slammed shut.

Jim stared up at Sebastian, then burst into happy giggles. "Poor Mike," he gasped and nudged Sebastian to make him move again.

"He just can't get enough of us," Sebastian said. "What was he even doing here?" He slowly started rocking his hips again.

"Don't know... Don't care..." Jim moaned, wrapping his legs around Sebastian.

Sebastian chuckled and sped up his rhythm again, lifting Jim a little so his cock was trapped between their stomachs.

If the desk had been more comfortable, they might have ended up drifting off as they snuggled in the afterglow. But once they had caught their breath and had a good snog, Jim pulled away and sat up. "Are you coming over tonight?"

Sebastian smiled. "If you want."

"Of course I do." Jim jumped off the table and began gathering his clothes. "It's just... I think I'm going to go home now and catch up on some stuff." For three days they had hardly left each other's side and great as it had been, Jim was starting to feel a little worn. And not just from the sex. He needed to be alone for a while. To just be himself.

"Oh. Sure. I suppose I should get some laundry done too." Sebastian snorted. "The exciting life of a porn star..."

Jim giggled as he got dressed. The quick kiss before he left almost turned into another snogging session, but he managed to tear himself away and skipped happily from the office and down the stairs, ignoring looks and comments. He hardly noticed them anymore.

Chapter Text

Jim had a long soak in the tub, then made himself a decadent amount of tea and snuggled up on the sofa with a stack of books and the telly running in the background.

But he soon had to give up on the reading. Every little detail seemed to remind him of something about Sebastian or the last couple of days, and then he’d realise that he was just staring into thin air, smirking or grinning stupidly. Or the memory would be so vivid he’d be tempted to indulge. But he stopped himself every time. He could easily have wanked to the thought of any of the stuff Sebastian had done to him, but he’d rather save his energy for tonight. For whatever new games they would be playing.

In the late afternoon he nodded off and was woken up, groggy and with a stiff neck, by the doorbell. It took a moment for him to remember, then he jumped to his feet, nearly spilling cold tea all over the carpet as he stumbled in his blankets. Regaining his balance and smoothing his hair, he ran to the door, flung it open and threw himself into Sebastian’s arms, giggling happily as he kissed him.

But Sebastian didn’t really return the kiss and gently pushed him off. “Jim,” he said, looking so earnest he almost seemed ill. “Let’s go inside. We need to talk.”

Jim felt like someone had emptied a bucket of ice water over his head. He took a step back, staring up at Sebastian. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“In,” Sebastian said, nodding towards the door.

Swallowing hard but not looking away, Jim stepped back inside his flat, holding the door open for Sebastian. “What did I do?” he asked, finding it difficult to speak around the lump that had settled in his throat.

Sebastian shook his head as he closed the door and walked over to the sofa. “Please sit with me.”

Jim pulled the blanket around him as he sat down in the corner of the sofa so he could face Sebastian. “I don’t understand…” he began.

“I’ve seen Relevé,” Sebastian said.

That one word sent such a violent torrent of emotions through Jim that it felt like actual physical pain. He trembled and closed his eyes, fighting to hold back the tears. Only when he was completely numb could he look at Sebastian again.

“Yes?” he said, his voice sounding so wrong.

“I was going to go home, but then I bumped into Mike again.” Even though Sebastian wasn’t speaking loudly, his voice sounded like steel. “And it turned out that he was in Sally’s office to pick up the cover image. So I followed him, and the guys let me watch it.” He took a deep breath, apparently calming himself. “It was him, wasn’t it? You never told me. You let me ramble on and on about Mind the Gap and you just never thought about shutting me up.”

"What do you mean?" Jim did not want to have this conversation. Anything but this. He could have handled it if this talk was about breaking up or never doing another film again, but this...? He did not want to talk about this.

“It was him.” Sebastian’s jaw clenched for a moment before he continued. “That Sherwood guy. You were in love with him and he broke your heart.”

The cold was back and Jim shivered as he nodded. Sebastian was so angry. He was going to leave him and it was Jim's own fault. He shouldn't have gotten involved with another actor. And he should have been honest with him. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"I hope he is, too." Sebastian sighed. "Look, I know your past relationships are none of my business. But... He was your co-star. From what you've told me, you worked together all the time. And considering that they're still finishing up Relevé, it can't have been long ago. I know it still hurts you. And now you're with me. Another colleague. You must be reminded of him sometimes and yet... You never talk about it. You don't trust me. You'd let me hurt you over and over and I wouldn't know."

"You've never hurt me!" Jim cried, suddenly feeling angry too. "I won't let you. I won't be used. I..." He felt himself crumble. "I learned my lesson..."

Sebastian shook his head and held out his arms. "Come here."

Jim didn't want a hug. Jim didn't need a hug. Jim... found himself buried in Sebastian's strong arms, sniffling into his chest. "I hate him."

Sebastian stroked his back and kissed his hair. "I know. He's a fucking prick. And I'll go after him if you want. Show him just a bit of the pain he caused you."

"No," Jim croaked. "I don't want you to go near him. You're too good..." He sobbed once and then took a deep breath, trying to compose himself. "He's not worth your time. He's just an idiot from my past and I don't even want to think about him anymore."

"But you will," Sebastian said, still petting him. "Think about him, I mean. And then the memory might be improved by a bit of revenge..."

Jim had to admit that the thought did hold a lot of appeal. But he also knew that if Sebastian touched Sherlock in any way, several people would not hesitate to put the police on him and Jim did not want that. Keeping Sebastian around was more important than making Sherlock pay. At least...

He giggled through the tears. "There are other ways of getting revenge. Better ones..."

"Oh?" Sebastian prompted.

"He's never really cared about pleasure or pain," Jim said. "That's why he's so good on camera. And so cold when... when they're off... But his career is everything to him. The brand he's turning himself into. Take that away from him and you'll destroy him. Remove Sherwood and Sherlock will crumble."

"But Angelo is really fond of him, right? So how will we pull that off?"

"I guess..." Jim did not like the thought, but it made sense. "Angelo will have to be out of the picture. Out of pictures..." He snickered at his own pun. "I mean... He's talked about retiring for quite a while. If he did, then Sherlock would be cut adrift. He may make good films, but he's also got quite a reputation. Nobody is going to want to work to him."

"Yeah. I guess that'll work. But it's really a long-term plan, so if you change your mind... I wouldn't mind splitting open his face. That'd keep him from working too, for a while."

Jim thought of Sherlock's face. Of the full lips, the sculpted cheekbones and those impossible eyes. How beautiful he was when he smiled and told Jim he'd never felt like this about anyone before. And how equally beautiful he had been when he'd turned cold and refused to even acknowledge him. "No... I don't want that.," he muttered. "Not his face. He'll need it -” the thought shaped itself even while he was speaking- “when he comes to work for us!"

Sebastian let out a chuckle. "Really? You got plans to take over Angelo's business then?"

"No!" Jim huffed. "I want to start my own label. A much better one. One that's not afraid of trying new ways and new talents."

"Well... I better start rehearsing if I want a job at such a quality studio." Sebastian pushed him a little back and smiled.

"There's no rush," Jim said, smirking. "We can't just do this tomorrow. We will need to plan. To find the money. And to make Angelo want to quit his job."

"Sounds like a lot of scheming." Sebastian leaned in and gave him a gentle kiss. "But seriously, Jim... What I said about not letting me hurt you. It's still important. Not because I think you can't handle me or anything like that. But I just can't read your mind, right? So if there's anything, anything at all, I just really hope you'll trust me enough to get it out. Because I really hope to still be by your side on the day you start that new label, and if we want to make that work you'll have to talk to me. Okay?"

Sebastian caught Jim quite off guard with that declaration. He had been about to start listing the things that they needed to make happen first, but his mind went quite blank and he just stared at Sebastian. "I..." he muttered, slightly miffed that the lump in his throat seemed to have returned. "I want that too. And I promise I'll tell you if something is wrong. As long as you promise that too."

Sebastian nodded. "I will. For an actor I'm not that good at hiding my temper, so... Guess there won't be a problem there." He grinned a little sheepishly.

"I guess there won't be." Jim leaned his head on Sebastian's shoulder, hiding his grin against his neck.

…

He woke to the wonderfully warm feeling of large hands moving slowly over his skin, teasing and caressing. He lay for a while, doing nothing but enjoying it, but as Sebastian's hands kept moving towards his growing erection and then sliding away again, he whined, squirming a little. "Don't tease me..." he muttered, yawning. "You know I won't say no to wake-up sex."

Sebastian chuckled behind him, pushing himself up a little to kiss the side of Jim's neck. "So impatient, so early in the morning..."

"Hey, I'm not the one groping someone in their sleep." Jim yawned again and pressed himself against Sebastian's body.

"Not groping. Petting." Sebastian started nibbling on Jim's earlobe and finally wrapped one of his hands around Jim's cock.

"Whatever you call it," Jim moaned, "it feels good."

Sebastian started stroking slowly, scraping his teeth over Jim's ear.

Jim shifted, wanting to get a hand on Sebastian too. Taking the hint, Sebastian let Jim's ear go, giving him just enough space to reach back. After some fumbling, Jim wrapped his fingers around Sebastian's cock, matching the rhythm of his strokes.

Moaning as he thrust into Jim's hand, Sebastian placed kisses over the back of Jim's neck and then nibbled down to his shoulder, making Jim hum and squirm.

But soon he stilled his hand. “I want to see you…” He rolled onto his back. “Come here.”

Jim quickly realised what he meant and reached for a condom. He knelt next to Sebastian and rolled it on him, covering it in lube. He could take Sebastian more easily now, as long as he was slick enough. He bent down to kiss Sebastian and then straddled him. It was nice being in control of the penetration, taking his time as he sank down slowly, closing his eyes.

Sebastian hummed in pleasure. "So eager... And beautiful..." He stroked Jim's back and legs, encouraging him to take him deeper.

Jim rolled his hips slowly, resting his hands on Sebastian's chest. "You're beautiful too," he purred.

"Are you sure?" Sebastian sounded amused. "I think you should open your eyes and check..."

"I don't have to." Jim giggled. "I know." But he still obeyed and opened his eyes, looking down at Sebastian and smiling. "It feels so good," he moaned, moving a little faster.

"Hmm," Sebastian agreed, pushing himself up a little. "A kiss would make it even better..."

Jim could only agree and bent down to press his lips to Sebastian's.

Sebastian licked into Jim's mouth and started to thrust up, still following the slow rhythm Jim set. But when the thrusts began to grow more forceful, he turned his face away, baring his neck for Jim. "Bite me."

Jim hesitated. But it felt so good and he didn't want Sebastian to stop, so he sank his teeth gently into the soft skin, moaning at the sensation.

"Harder," Sebastian urged.

Jim licked the spot once before biting again.

Sebastian grunted loudly. "Oh, that's better. Perfect..." He pushed Jim a little back to catch his lips again, thrusting up hard and fast.

Jim whined, trying to get his hand in so he could stroke himself.

"Up," Sebastian gasped, pushing lightly against Jim's shoulder. He batted Jim's hand away and replaced it with his own, planting his feet in the mattress and biting his lip until he came with a loud moan, still stroking Jim's cock.

Jim followed right behind, crying out his release before collapsing on Sebastian's chest, panting. "I love... Morning sex..." he gasped.

"Never would have guessed," Sebastian said, the sarcasm lost in his panting. He brushed a hand over the length of Jim's back. "That was fabulous..."

Jim just giggled. He was too happy to respond to anything right now.

"I've had an idea," Sebastian said after a while, when his hand had moved from petting Jim's back to playing with his hair.

"Breakfast?" Jim guessed.

Sebastian chuckled. "Not yet. That would involve moving... But I was thinking about Angelo."

"Gross!" Jim giggled more. "While I was riding you? I'm not enough for you?"

Sebastian started giggling too. "Ew... No! Ugh. Cut me some slack, you just shagged my brains out. How am I supposed to make things sound right without them?"

"I don't know. How do you usually manage?" Jim teased.

"Fair point... I suppose my brain hasn't been working properly since the day I met you. It's all your fault." Sebastian pressed a kiss to Jim's head, his chest still shaking with laughter.

"Don't overdo it." Jim dug his fingers into Sebastian's sides. "Didn't you say something about an idea?"

"Oh yeah." Sebastian caught his hand and entwined their fingers to stop him from tickling. "If we want to start our own business, we should make a bit of a name for ourselves first, right? Before Angelo quits. So we need to make him accept as many film ideas as we can."

"Good luck with that." Jim huffed, his happy mood melting away. "You heard him. In his world there's only one name that counts. And I'm never doing his films again."

"But he did approve Bonding. He wasn't ready for the plot in Office Romance, but we still have a field we can work in. What I have in mind is sweet enough to be up Angelo's street, and yet kinky enough to be interesting. And it wouldn't make a full-length movie and wouldn't have any plot at all, so..."

"Oh?" Jim was sceptical, but Sebastian was right. They weren't ready to start their own label yet. They needed money, experience and connections. And the only way to get them was to work. A lot.

"Remember what I said about a tail and ears?"

"Remember my response?" Jim pushed himself up to glare down at him.

Sebastian grinned. "Vividly. But it would be beautiful. I mean... You'd make the most gorgeous pet. And it wouldn't be about humiliation. Just about taking good care of each other."

"It sounds ridiculous," Jim said. "How can anyone find that sexy?"

"Uhm," Sebastian said. "Hello. I can tell you that there's a market. You're lying on it. Well, part of it, it's not just me."

"So what you're saying is that you'd like to see me in that getup?" Jim shook his head. "I'm a good actor, but don't ask me to crawl around on the floor like a..." He wrinkled his nose. "What animal did you have in mind, anyway?"

"A puppy," Sebastian said. "Puppy play is extremely popular at the club with doms and subs alike. It's really not such a crazy idea. I suppose we could keep the actual crawling to a minimum..."

"A puppy? You want me to drool and wag my bum?" Jim rolled his eyes.

Sebastian sighed and scratched with his thumb behind Jim's ear. "Just consider trying it. You don't need to do anything uncomfortable or disgusting. Relax and be a good boy and you'll be a very spoiled little pet..."

Jim tried to ignore the nice tingling sensation these words caused. He sighed. "Show me what you have in mind. I'll consider it."

"Okay." Sebastian kissed him gently. "Maybe we should meet at my place. I've got all the toys there."

"Fine," Jim said. There was no harm in humouring Sebastian in this. He'd probably abandon the idea once he saw Jim's total lack of enthusiasm.

Chapter Text

Jim had spent the day cleaning his flat, doing a bit of shopping and taking a very nice, long, hot shower.

Dressed completely in black he showed up at Sebastian's place almost half an hour early. He had tried to contain himself, but he was just too curious to see how he lived.

"Oh... Hey," Sebastian said as he opened the door. "Come in. I was just cleaning up the kitchen."

Jim couldn't help but giggle. Sebastian was quite a mess. But not in the usual way. He had something sticky on his cheek and he was still wearing an apron.

"I'm sorry," Jim said. "I guess I underestimated London's public transport. I just didn't want to be late."

The hall was narrow and he had to wait for Sebastian to take a step back so he could enter. He toed off his shoes, leaving them next to Sebastian's, and hung his jacket on one of the pegs. "Nice place," he said, following Sebastian past the small, messy kitchen to a nice sitting room with a small sofa and a large telly.

"Thanks." Sebastian gestured at the sofa. "Make yourself comfortable. I'll just need a few minutes to make the kitchen a bit less... exploded. Want a drink?"

Jim grinned. "A glass of milk would be fine," he said. He was not drinking anything alcoholic before after they'd settled this silliness.

"Milk? Really?" Sebastian laughed. "Alright... Milk it is."

...

"That was brilliant." Jim leaned back in the chair. "I didn't know you could cook. We could have saved loads on all that take-away."

Sebastian chuckled. "Take-away can be nice sometimes. We were a bit too busy to spend a lot of time in the kitchen anyway..."

"True." Jim grinned at the memory of exactly what had kept them busy.

Sebastian leaned in for a kiss. "I suggest we leave the dishes for later."

Jim wasn't going to argue with that. Leaving the dishes indefinitely suited him just fine. On the other hand... "So... What do you feel like doing? Watching a movie? Or maybe show me around the area?"

"Show you around my bedroom?"

Jim sighed silently. "I'm guess that's where you keep the... toys?"

"Yeah. I considered putting them on display here, but I guess it might frighten casual visitors. And my mum." Sebastian grinned.

"Yeah..." Jim giggled nervously. "That could get awkward."

Sebastian's smile softened and he got up, walking around the table to Jim, then holding out his arms. "Come here."

Jim's glare probably looked more like a pout as he stood up and let himself sink into Sebastian's strong embrace.

Sebastian rested his cheek on Jim's head. "It's okay. I know you're nervous, but it will be fine. I'll be watching over you and you can tell me when you're too uncomfortable to go through with it. Remember your safeword?"

"I won't need a safeword," Jim snapped. He bit his lip. "I'm not scared. I just think it's silly."

"It's a game," Sebastian said, pushing him a back a little to look at him. "Who cares that it's silly if we'll have fun?"

"I care," Jim insisted. "If I look silly, we're not doing a film. I don't want to throw my career away for your wet dream."

"But that's why we're trying it first," Sebastian said. "So you can see how it feels. You don't have to decide anything yet. Just let me show you the toys and then we'll see what happens, right? One step at a time."

"I know." Jim knew he was making too much of it. But he just didn't feel comfortable looking ridiculous in front of Sebastian. What if Sebastian laughed at him? The thought alone was almost enough to make him bolt. But he remembered their talk about trust. Sebastian wouldn't do that to him. So he smiled and nodded. "Okay then. Let's go play."

"Great." Sebastian smiled back and kissed him, then walked over to open the bedroom door. "Welcome to paradise."

Jim almost had a minor panic attack when he stepped inside. He had been prepared. But not for this. The room in itself was ordinary enough. No medieval dungeon or latex inferno. Just an ordinary bedroom. The bed might be a bit larger than most, but not excessively so. He supposed it could easily hold three people, but did not linger on that idea since he could not tear his eyes away from the copious selection of whips and floggers mounted on the walls like weapons on display.

His mind was assaulted by an image of Sebastian, his naked torso glistening with sweat, his teeth showing in a devilish grin as he swung one of those things. He suddenly felt faint.

"Oh, don't worry about those," Sebastian said as he saw him looking, but there was a definite hint of pride in his eyes as he turned towards the wall. "What we need is in here." He opened one of the two closets.

Jim hardly dared look, but curiosity got the better of him and he moved to Sebastian's side. Most of the plugs and vibrators seemed pretty basic. In fact, he'd seen quite a few of them used at the studio. But there were also some clamps and other metal objects that were sure to be very unpleasant, no matter where on the body they were placed. And the gags... Jim would never have guessed there were so many different types. He was tempted to pick one up to examine it, but that would be for another time. He hoped.

There they were. In a small open case right in the middle of the shelf: a black leather collar with a silver tag shaped like a bone, a pair of floppy brown and white ears mounted on a thin metal headband and, worst of all, a short bendy rubber tail, protruding from a fairly small black plug.

Jim recoiled. "I don't think this is a good idea..."

Sebastian frowned and put a hand on his arm. "Are you okay? You look like you'd better sit down." He gestured at the bed.

"I'm fine!" Jim pulled away from him. "I just don't want to do this. It's stupid. I'll look like a fool."

"Okay. We'll leave it for now. But sit down anyway," Sebastian said.

Jim relaxed immediately. "Thank you, Sebby," he said, turning to wrap his arms around Sebastian's neck, pulling him down for a kiss. Maybe they could have some fun with one of those gags after all...

Sebastian smiled as he pulled out of the kiss. "Didn't I tell you to sit?"

Jim giggled as he almost ran to the bed, sitting down with his hands obediently folded in his lap. "Yes, Sir!" This was so much better.

Sebastian sat down next to him and put an arm around him. "I'm not going to act like I'm not a little bit disappointed. I was really looking forward to seeing you like that. But I suppose we can think of something else for the next film."

"Anything," Jim said, flashing Sebastian his most adoring smile. "Just tell me what you want."

"I don't know yet," Sebastian answered. "But a snog is always inspiring..." He leaned in, but Jim couldn’t take his eyes off the closet.

"I noticed some cuffs in there," he said. "And some of the other stuff looked interesting too..."

"Yeah?" Sebastian said. "Anything you'd like me to use?"

Jim considered for a moment, smiling. "I liked feeling at your mercy. Restrained, blindfolded. Maybe you could even... gag me?"

"Hmm. I'll consider it," Sebastian said. "But first I want that snog." And he caught Jim's lips in an almost bruising kiss that left him dazed and breathless.

He pulled away rather suddenly. "Undress."

"Yes, Sir..." Rather than standing, Jim moved up on the bed, kneeling as he pulled off his shirt and undid his jeans. He pushed them down past his hips, revealing that he had opted to go pantless that day, and then lay back to pull and kick them the rest of the way off.

Sebastian stood up, watching him and licking his lips. Then he picked up the jeans and tossed it off the bed.

"Don't move," he said, before quickly undressing himself.

Jim did move a little, but only so he could keep his eyes on Sebastian, who raised his eyebrows but didn't call him out on it. Once naked, he picked the toys out of the closet and put them on the bed, studying Jim.

It took almost a whole minute in which Jim had to do his best not to squirm, before Sebastian's next order came. "Hands above your head."

He crawled up on the bed and looped the handcuffs' chain behind one of the bars in the middle of the headboard, then clicked them around Jim's wrists. "They're padded, so you can tug on them without getting hurt," he informed him. "Not that it'll be much use to try it, but if we want to shoot the next film soon, we better don't damage you too much."

Jim pulled on the cuffs, testing them. It was very different from the ropes. Less restrictive but more... definite. More exciting. He felt his body responding and the realisation that he could do nothing to hide this fact from Sebastian only made it worse. "Fuck..." he muttered, laughing breathlessly.

"The right answer was 'thank you, Sir'," Sebastian chided. "I guess we might as well shut you up if you're not saying the right things. Open your mouth." He picked up the gag.

Jim had to swallow hard before obeying. Suddenly he wasn't entirely sure this was a good idea. How was he going to tell Sebastian if something didn't feel right?

"Good boy," Sebastian said, putting the ball in his mouth. "Now, I know you can't safeword like this. But you have permission to kick me hard if things get too much, okay?"

Jim sort of managed a snort. He nodded once, looking expectantly up at Sebastian, who smiled down at him.

"Look at you. So pretty when you've got something big in your mouth..." He picked up the blindfold. "It's almost a shame you wanted to try the gag. I could have put something else in there. Something you once said you really wanted and yet you've never gone for it..." He shook his head, smirking, and then Jim's eyes were covered.

Jim would have agreed if he could. He had been wanting to get his lips around that beautiful large cock since the first time he saw it. But the time had just never seemed right. Or to put it another way: Sebastian hadn’t told him to do it. Yet.

The moment he couldn't see, he felt himself relax. Now it was all up to Sebastian. Jim had no control over what was going to happen.

Sebastian hovered over his chest a while longer after putting the blindfold in place, kissing and licking Jim's neck. He hummed as he moved off, stroking a hand down Jim's stomach. "You know, it's nice to know you're mine even without the collar. Maybe you're right that it's not a good idea covering that neck of yours." Then suddenly the mattress dipped and a warm hand pressed against Jim's throat. "But I bet having something there makes you feel owned..."

Jim whimpered at the touch, giving the tiniest of nods. He felt very owned. And very very good.

Sebastian chuckled and for a second his grip tightened as he dropped a kiss on Jim's forehead. Then he released his throat and settled between his legs. He lifted one of Jim's feet into his lap and pressed it against his hard cock. "Feel that? It's just from looking at you." Then he pushed Jim's leg back into a more comfortable angle and pressed his thumbs into Jim's sole, starting a long foot rub.

Jim would have protested. How could Sebastian tease him so? Let him feel that delicious cock and then just rub his feet? But it was soon forgotten as Sebastian proved once again that he was just as skilled at massaging as he was at everything else Jim had experienced so far. He moaned and twitched at first, but as Sebastian worked his way through every soreness and tension, Jim felt as if his body was melting, leaving him nothing but a happy puddle, humming with delight at every touch. By the time Sebastian started on his other foot, Jim could have wept with pleasure.

"That's better, isn't it?" Sebastian finally broke the silence. "You were so wound up. But you know I take care of that. All you need to do is tell me what you need. Or splay yourself out like this..." He finally moved a hand up Jim's leg to his thigh, but it didn't continue its path. Instead there was the sound of a drawer opening.

Jim whined. He didn't want Sebastian to stop. But he was also curious to find out what he would do next, so he just lay there, bound and spread out for Sebastian to use however he wished.

After a moment, Sebastian started kissing his stomach, dipping his tongue into Jim's belly button before moving down, his chin and bottom lip brushing the head of Jim's cock a few times. But then he stopped again, shifting where he sat.

"Pull up your legs," he ordered.

Jim sighed in relief. Finally Sebastian was going to fuck him. He pulled up his legs as far as he could, feeling Sebastian's eyes on him.

A slick finger circled his arsehole. Then it pushed in the tiniest bit, but Sebastian pulled it out again and reversed the direction of the circling.

Jim whined and tilted his hips, trying to show Sebastian that he was ready for more. That he wanted more.

"Down," Sebastian growled, slapping the side of Jim's thigh.

Jim huffed in protest but obeyed. Why was Sebastian stalling? Why didn't he just take him? It wasn't like Jim could do anything to stop him.

"Good boy," Sebastian said, slipping in one finger, then pulling it back slowly and repeating the movement at the same torturing pace, now and then brushing Jim's prostate.

It was not enough, but at least it was something, and Jim relaxed, letting himself enjoy the sensation. If only he could touch himself. He'd been hard since they had started and was getting a bit desperate. But Sebastian mercilessly continued what he was doing, now and then muttering how good or how beautiful Jim was. Then finally he brushed a hand over Jim's cock and Jim's hips surged up.

"Jim," Sebastian chided, taking both his hands off him.

Jim whined again and thrust up one more time. He wanted to scream at Sebastian to get things moving. Couldn't he see what state Jim was in?

"Ssh," Sebastian said, moving up to gently kiss Jim’s cheek. "It's okay. You can come in the end. I'm just not done with you." He petted Jim's neck. "You wanted to be at my mercy. I can't just give in then, can I?"

Jim leaned into the touch, hoping he'd take hold of him again. That had been so hot.

Sebastian breathed out a laugh and took the hint. "You liked that, did you? Maybe we should try the collar after all..." He squeezed Jim's throat softly.

Jim let out a muffled moan. He still wasn't keen on the idea, but it wouldn't hurt to try. Just the collar. He nodded.

"Good boy. Give me a second." Sebastian’s weight shifted off the mattress and he rummaged around for a moment before he returned. "There you are. Gorgeous." He lifted Jim's head and attached the collar.

Jim held his breath while Sebastian closed the clasp. As he let it out, he felt the leather tightening around his throat. Not too tight. Just enough that he wouldn't forget about it.

"Happy?" Sebastian asked.

Jim nodded, feeling the edge of the collar press into his skin. He moaned again, hoping that Sebastian had gotten what he wanted so they could get on with it.

"Do you want the ears too?" Sebastian's smile was clear in his voice.

Jim really wanted to scowl at him. But he had to settle for a sort of growly sound in his throat to convey his dislike of that idea.

"I didn't quite get that," Sebastian said, amused. "Do you want me to take away the gag?"

Jim quickly shook his head. The gag was good. So were the cuffs and the blindfold. Even the collar felt nice. He didn't want things ruined by a stupid prop that looked like it belonged in a child's toy chest, not on an adult entertainer.

"Hmm." Sebastian hooked a finger behind the collar, testing it. "Still think it would look good."

That felt so much better than it should and Jim's resolve began to waver. If it meant that much to Sebastian, what harm could it be? Nobody was going to see it and it might get Jim the shag he'd been aching for. So he swallowed his pride and tried to shrug. Which turned out to be pretty difficult with his hands cuffed above his head.

Sebastian let go of him. "Was that a kick?"

Jim sighed and shook his head. Then he attempted the shrug again.

"The ears? Really?"

He really hoped his sigh would be interpreted: 'you better make this worth it'. Then he nodded. At least he didn't have to look at himself.

Sebastian actually gasped. "Thank you," he whispered, kissing Jim's cheek again before he moved off the bed.

He was back in no time, sliding the band over Jim's hair. "Oh..." he breathed. "Now there's a very, very good boy."

He lay down next to Jim, kissing his neck and reaching up to play with the ears.

Jim's cock had gone almost completely soft while Sebastian was getting the ears and he'd been hoping that alone would make Sebastian lose his enthusiasm for the idea. But then when he began praising and caressing him, Jim couldn't help but feel a little better about the whole thing. It was okay being silly if it made Sebastian this happy. He hummed, trying to let Sebastian know that he would like the gag removed.

It took a moment, but then Sebastian realised. "You've played with your toy long enough, then?"

Jim rolled his eyes under the blindfold and then just huffed and nodded.

"You're right." Sebastian fumbled with the gag's strap. "You've earned a new toy to play with." He gently pulled the ball out of Jim's mouth and then removed the handcuffs as well.

Jim groaned and licked his lips. The gag had felt good but it was also nice getting it out. He didn't take his hands down, waiting for Sebastian's next move.

"Sit up," Sebastian said. He got off the bed and a moment later a bottle cap clicked. "I don't have a bowl here, so you can drink from the bottle for now. It's just water." He put the plastic against Jim's lips.

Jim drank greedily. He hadn't realised how thirsty he was. "Thanks," he said when the bottle was removed. He reached out, wanting to touch Sebastian.

Sebastian caught his hand and pulled him with his back against his chest, enveloping him in his arms and kissing his shoulder. "You're so beautiful. Look..." He pulled off the blindfold.

Jim blinked a few times, the light in the room hurting his eyes. Then he realised that he was facing a large mirror. The first thing he noticed were the ears and how completely goofy they made him look. But then his eyes wandered down to the collar around his neck and the loving way Sebastian was playing with it. The sight sent a shiver through him and he leaned back into the embrace. "I can live with this," he said. "Just... no teasing, okay?"

Sebastian smirked and met Jim's eyes in the mirror while one of his hands wandered down Jim's chest. "No teasing?"

Jim moaned at the touch. "I mean of the cruel kind. Making fun of me." He put his hand over Sebastian's.

"Why would I want to make fun of you when you look this good?" Sebastian asked, seeming genuinely puzzled.

"So what do you want to do? How does this go? Do we just fuck doggy style or what?"

Sebastian shrugged. "I give orders. You obey. Same as during other games, really. Except that this time you're a dog. Dogs don't talk or question their masters. They just want to be good boys and get treats." He rubbed Jim's stomach. "Don't you?"

Jim looked at Sebastian in the mirror and smiled.

“But you still haven’t got a tail,” Sebastian said. “What do you say? You can bark if you don’t want it…”

Jim’s smile turned into a scowl and he growled, trying not to giggle.

Sebastian laughed and ruffled Jim’s hair before letting go of him and taking the tail from the shelf.

Jim immediately shook his head, crossing his arms stubbornly.

“You’re not wet, so why are you shaking like that?” Sebastian asked, reaching out to scratch just below the collar.

Jim snapped at his fingers, growling again. If Sebastian wanted a dog, fine, but he was not putting that thing in him.

Sebastian’s smile disappeared immediately. “Bad dog.” He stepped back. “If you keep that up, there’s no way you get a nice bone.”

Jim held the glare for about half a second, then he burst out laughing. “Please… Please don’t use that word…”

Unimpressed, Sebastian raised an eyebrow. “Really? Do I need to muzzle you?”

Jim glanced over at the gag and sighed. He lowered his head and whimpered. Sebastian might enjoy this, but he didn’t find it much fun.

Sebastian kneeled next to him and stroked his back. “Am I being too stern for this little puppy? I guess you need some love.”

Jim was about to nod but thought better of it. So instead he lay down on his side, putting his head in Sebastian’s lap, looking up at him with a slightly sad expression.

Sebastian smiled and tickled under his chin. “Alright. But you’ll still have to earn… What should I call it now? My squeaky toy?”

Jim managed to turn his laugh into a sort of yip. But he wasn’t going to be able to hold character for long if Sebastian carried on like this. Except, Jim found himself really wanting a go at Sebastian’s cock. He had always enjoyed giving blowjobs and according to… former partners, he was pretty good at it. So if he just played along for a bit, Sebastian could pretend to reward him and they could have some real fun.

So he opened his mouth, stuck out his tongue a little and pretended to pant like an eager dog.

Sebastian gave him a proud grin. “Good boy.” He stroked Jim’s chest, lingering over his nipples, while his other hand played with Jim’s hair. “Now, would you like to play a little? Fetch a ball?”

Jim rolled his eyes and yipped again. He’d already told Sebastian he wouldn’t be crawling around. Snuggling like this was fine, but he had to draw the line somewhere.

“Lazy dog.” Sebastian tugged the collar affectionately. “You’ll still have to show me some tricks. Sit up!”

Jim groaned. He was so very comfortable here.

“Think of the treat…”

With a very dramatic sigh, Jim pushed himself up. He didn’t exactly sit like a dog, but it would have to do.

“That’s better.” Sebastian patted his head. “Now give me a bark.”

Jim cocked his head and yipped again.

“Good boy!” Sebastian kissed his cheek. “See, you can do it. You’ll be such a perfect dog when we’re done training you. Now play dead.”

Finally a sensible order. Jim flopped down again, almost bumping his head on Sebastian’s knee.

“Careful, puppy. But well done. Roll over.”

Keeping his legs bent and his arms in front of him, Jim rolled onto his back, feeling a bit like a stranded turtle. This was definitely not sexy.

“Now sit up again.”

Jim looked up at him, yipped and stretched out, making it clear that he intended to stay down.

Sebastian put his hands in his sides. “What’s this?”

Jim just looked at him. If Sebastian wanted an answer, he’d have to let him speak.

“Fine. You don’t have to do tricks anymore. But then you’ll get the tail in exchange.” Sebastian sternly looked down at him.

Jim realised that Sebastian had been aiming for this all along. To get Jim to a point where he would finally give in and accept that damn tail. He felt anger rising inside him. But also something else. A sort of respect. Almost pride.

He knew Sebastian was good at what he did, but that he was willing to use this much effort on Jim, just to get him to do this little thing... It made Jim feel special. Like he really mattered to Sebastian.

So he rolled onto his stomach, spreading his legs a little to let Sebastian know that it was okay. That he was agreeing to it.

Sebastian bent over and pressed a kiss on his left arsecheek. “Good boy.” Then he checked with his fingers if Jim was still ready to take it. “You’ve been hungry to have something in there all the time, haven’t you? And now you’ll finally get it.” He slowly pushed in the plug. “Beautiful...”

The plug was small. Nothing compared to the toys Jim had been using lately. It wasn’t unpleasant having it inside him. But as soon as he moved, he could sense the tail sticking out of his butt. There was no way that could look anything but ridiculous.

But Sebastian wasn’t laughing and he’d been really good about this whole thing, so Jim raised his arse up a bit, wagging it and feeling the tail move.

“Oh yes.” The admiration was clear in Sebastian’s voice. “You like that, don’t you? You’re so, so gorgeous. Definitely earned your treat.” He tugged gently on the tail.

Now that felt nice and Jim moaned. Not particularly dog-like, but close enough. He hoped.

Sebastian chuckled and did it again.

Jim did manage to make his whine sound less human and he looked at Sebastian over his shoulder, smiling.

Sebastian smiled back, then leaned over to grab a condom from the night-table. He put a pillow against the headboard and sat back against it, then gave himself a few strokes before opening the packet and rolling on the condom, making sure Jim had his eyes on him all the time.

“Come and get it,” he said, still smiling.

Eagerly, Jim got to his hands and knees, ignoring the sensation of the tail swinging behind him as he crawled up to, finally, bend down and wrap his lips around the head of Sebastian's cock.

And that was when he realised his error. He might be good at giving head, but that was to much smaller men than Sebastian. Jim still had some issues with gagging and he found that he could not even get half of Sebastian’s length into his mouth before it felt uncomfortable. This wasn’t going to work. He almost gave up, but he really wanted this and had gone pretty far to get it. He considered using his hand for the base, but that wouldn’t be very dog-like. And if he didn’t play the game, Sebastian might stop him.

He bobbed his head a little and sucked, trying to buy himself some time to think. How could he make this work?

Sebastian hummed, petting his head encouragingly. “That’s good. No need to hold back.”

Jim resisted the urge to bite Sebastian for that remark and instead pulled back a little, letting his tongue swirl around the head and over the slit.

“Oh yeah,” Sebastian moaned. “Keep doing that.”

Maybe that could work. Jim gave another suck and then let the tip slide slowly from between his lips, only to chase it with his tongue, licking slowly but firmly along the bottom and sides before returning to the head, teasing with small fast licks.

Sebastian groaned, his hips bucking and his fingers tangling in Jim’s hair, upsetting the ears. “Okay. Give me a little more.”

Jim nipped the side of the head, using only his lips, then began licking again, switching between long slow movements and quick light ones. Soon the condom was dripping wet, glistening with spit.

Sebastian chuckled and threw away the dog ears, which really were in the way for his petting. “You know... I’ve got a better idea.”

Chapter Text

The Kitten lay in its basket in the corner of the living room. Snuggled up on a fluffy purple blanket it slept peacefully, a small smile curving its lips. The long, soft, black tail hung over the edge of the basket and one of the ears was a little bit crooked. The whiskers and nose were painted on, but the leather collar around its neck was very real. And so was the shining silver bell that hung from it. The bell that tinkled merrily as the Kitten jerked awake, sitting up in the basket at the sound of its Master’s voice.

The Kitten mewled happily and tumbled out of the basket, crawling towards the opening door which revealed a tall, blond, smiling man.

As he crouched down, he held out a hand and called: “Here, Kitty-kitty. Did you miss me? Did you miss your Master?” The Kitten butted its head against his hand and then almost knocked him over, attempting to crawl into his lap.

The Master laughed. “Easy, Kitten. I’ve only been away a few hours.” He tried to hold the Kitten back, but it kept pushing him until he fell on his bum with a surprised grunt. Satisfied, the Kitten straddled his legs and rubbed its head affectionately against his chest, shoulders and neck.

“I know. I know.” The man stroked the Kitten’s head lovingly, fixing the stray ear as he did so. “Even a few hours feels like an eternity when I’m away, right?”

The Kitten meowed in affirmation and tried to push its head under his arm. The man ran his hand down its back, making it squirm and arch into the touch. Then he grabbed hold of its tail and gave it a gentle tug. The Kitten immediately straightened up, staring at him.

“Slow down,” he told it sternly. “I promise we will play. But you have to let me get through the door before jumping me. Besides, it’s time for your supper, isn’t that right, Kitten?”

The Kitten backed out of his lap and sat daintily on the floor, studying him.

“That’s better, Kitten,” the Master said, getting to his feet. “That’s better.” As he walked to the kitchen, the Kitten crawled behind him, the sound of the bell marking its every move.

When the Master opened the fridge, the Kitten rubbed against his leg, purring, but as soon as he took out the bottle of milk it meowed and hurried over to the corner where a purple placemat lay on the floor. It looked back over its shoulder, watching intently as he filled the white plastic bowl and carried it over, gently nudging the Kitten away with his foot so he could put it down.

“Wait!” he told the Kitten sternly as it tried to push past him. He bent down to stroke its head lovingly. “Remember, Kitten… Eat nicely. Don’t make a mess this time.”

The Kitten meowed, its look bordering on insolent, and he finally let it pass. It hurried to the bowl and bent down, lapping the milk up with its tongue.

The man went over to sit on one of the stools by the counter, watching his pet eat. There was a lot of slurping and huffing involved and more than half the milk got splashed onto the placemat. He did not seem to mind but chuckled at the sight.

When the Kitten was done, it sat up and looked over at him, grinning. The Master laughed at the sight of its pretty face, speckled with splashes of milk. “Don’t move,” he said, picking up a tea towel and hurrying over to kneel in front of it. Carefully he cleaned his pet’s face, taking care not to smudge the nose or whiskers. When he was done, he kissed its forehead. “There you go, Kitten. All clean. Time to play.”

The Kitten mewled eagerly and pushed past him to hurry back into the living room. The Master followed slowly, putting the tea towel on the counter as he passed it. He stopped in the door, watching the Kitten rummage through its basket, its triumphant meow muffled by the large stuffed mouse it held in its mouth as it hurried over to the sofa, waiting for him.

As the Master sat down, the Kitten dropped the mouse at his feet and looked up at him expectantly. The man picked the toy up by the tail and held it up in the air, dangling it a little. Eagerly the Kitten got up on its knees and batted at the mouse, not quite able to reach it. Every time it sat down, the man would lower the mouse and jiggle it, making the Kitten surge up again. They played for a while and then suddenly the man tossed the toy across the room.

The Kitten hissed and set off after it, pouncing on the toy and squashing it into the carpet with both hands. It tossed it around for a bit, picking it up in its mouth and shaking it until it was finally satisfied that the mouse was good and dead. With a happy meow to its Master, the Kitten carried the toy back to the basket before returning to sit in front of the sofa.

The Master stroked its hair, fixing the ears again, and praised it in soft tones. But even though it leaned its head into his touch, the look in its dark eyes remained alert. Demanding.

Finally the Master gave in and, laughing a little, nodded his head. “Go on then,” he said. “You’ve earned it.”

With a satisfied meow, the Kitten crawled up on the sofa and settled down, its head in its Master’s lap. As he began petting it again, it nuzzled his stomach and then his crotch.

Letting out a soft moan, the Master shifted a little. “Haven’t you had enough?” he asked, his voice sounding a little out of breath. The Kitten’s impatient mew clearly indicated that it hadn’t and the Master pushed its head aside so he could undo his jeans.

He barely had time to free his cock from the fabric before the Kitten attacked it, licking eagerly and nipping at the tip.

With a shaky moan, the Master leaned back, closing his eyes. His fingers curled themselves in the Kitten’s hair as he muttered how good and sweet it was and how fond he was of it. The Kitten barely seemed to notice, intent on licking every inch of skin.

As the Master’s breathing quickened, warning that his climax was approaching, he opened his eyes and gave the Kitten a soft push. “On your side,” he told it. The Kitten obeyed, lifting one leg so that the man could reach down and wrap his hand around its half-hard cock. He began stroking and soon the Kitten was moaning and whimpering between licks.

They finished almost simultaneously, the man shooting several streaks of white over the Kitten’s face as it spilled in his hand.

The Kitten lay panting, its head resting in the Master’s lap again as he pulled off his t-shirt and used it to clean them both. Then, as the image slowly faded to black, he bent down and whispered a thank you before kissing his Kitten deeply.

…

“Holy fuck.” Jonathan, one of the cameramen, fanned himself. “I don’t suppose I can borrow your cat at some point, Sebastian?”

Sebastian chuckled, tying his dressing robe. “You know how it is with cats. They only ever do as they please, so you’d have to ask the Kitten himself.” He smiled down at Jim, reaching out to free him from the collar.

Jim waited patiently, smiling. The cameras were off. It was over. There was no reason for him to stay in character. Except that when they played with the Kitten in Sebastian's flat, the rule was no speaking until the collar came off.

Jim supposed that he could speak if he wanted to. But it would take some effort. Amazing how quickly habits formed.

And it had felt so good. Forgetting responsibility, reason and even dignity as they played and snuggled. The sleek cat's tail didn't really bother him and the collar felt so good. Drinking from a bowl had been the hardest part. But even when he got milk in his nose and eyes he had kept on trying.

Because the look in Sebastian's eyes when Jim became his Kitten was worth every single ache and cough.

They had tried knee pads, but those interfered with his movements and as long as they took plenty of breaks on the sofa, he was fine.

As the collar slipped off him and he became Jim again, he wondered if that was it. They'd done the film and judging from the responses of the crew and other actors watching, it was going to be good. Very good. So there was no need to practise anymore. Right?

He laughed and turned to Jonathan. "I'm sorry, but I'm never doing that again." He took off the ears and handed them to Sebastian. "Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to go get de-tailed and take a shower." He kissed Sebastian's cheek before walking away, not bothering to resist the urge to wiggle his hips and make the tail swing.

…

Sebastian was waiting for him in the dressing room when he came out of the shower.

"You were so, so gorgeous," he said, pulling Jim into a tight hug.

Jim kissed Sebastian's neck and they walked out, arms around each other. He giggled happily, realising he had never felt as good as he did right now.

And then someone pulled the floor out from under him.

The door at the end of the corridor opened and he entered. Exactly like the last time Jim had seen him: cold, beautiful and looking straight through Jim as if he wasn't there.

"Jim?" Sebastian asked, but then he seemed to realise and let out a low growl. "Oh, fuck." He put a hand on Jim's shoulder. "Come on..."

Jim couldn't move. Not before Sherlock had seen him. Had acknowledged his existence. After all that had happened, this was the worst. To see with his own eyes how little he meant to Sherlock. Less than little. Nothing.

"Se...Sebastian..." he gasped. "Please..."

Sebastian squeezed his shoulder and then stepped in front of him. "Hey! Hey, you prick!" He stalked over to Sherlock, glaring down at him.

Sherlock looked Sebastian up and down, smirking. Jim trembled as he heard the familiar deep voice: "Can I help you?"

"Help me?" Sebastian repeated. "You cold fucking bastard. This isn't about me, is it?"

"I'm sorry. Have we met?" Sherlock's tone left no doubt in the casual onlooker that he believed Sebastian unworthy of recollection. But Jim knew better. Knew Sherlock better.

He realised that Sherlock knew exactly who Sebastian was. He'd seen their first film, he'd heard all the gossip. About them and about Sebastian's job at the club.

It was like watching two trains on collision course. And there was nothing he could do. But he still had to try.

"Sebastian," he said, rushing to take hold of his arm. "It doesn't matter. Let's just go. You promised you'd cook for me..."

It might have worked if Sherlock hadn’t chosen that precise moment to pretend to notice Jim. He turned his head to look down at him.

"Oh..." His nose wrinkled as if in mild disgust. "You..."

“Yes. Him.” Sebastian’s voice sounded like steel and he smacked Sherlock against the wall with one hand against his shoulder. “Don’t you dare act like you don’t notice him. He made your fucking career and then you dropped him like a brick.”

"Get your facts straight," Sherlock huffed, glaring up at Sebastian. "No one made my career but me. Just like no one ruined your career but you. Don't go throwing accusations around when you've got so many skeletons in your own closet."

Jim decided to step in. "Sebastian's career has just begun! And he's already better than you ever were."

For the first time a hint of emotion was visible in Sherlock. But the glimmer of rage was brief and his laugh was as cool as ever. "Not that career, James. Why don't you ask your boyfriend why he never even made it to Iraq?"

"You know nothing about me," Sebastian spat, his fist rising.

"Sebastian, stop!" Jim managed to squeeze himself between them, looking pleadingly up at him. "He's not worth it. Please, let’s just go. We should go celebrate. Right?"

Sebastian slowly lowered his hand, nodding. "You're right. He's definitely not worth it." He sent Sherlock a final glare before letting Jim drag him out the door.

On their way out he was still fuming, now and then letting out a growl, but outside he wrapped his arms around Jim.

Jim held it in for almost 2 seconds. Then he sniffed once before breaking into violent sobs.

"Oh, Jim." Sebastian almost smothered him as he pulled him even closer, gently rocking him. "It's okay. You're safe now. I won't let him come anywhere near you."

Jim clung to him, feeling like he was drowning in all the pain that had been lurking just out of sight these past weeks. "I hate him!" he gasped. "I hate him so much."

"I know," Sebastian said, stroking his back. "He's an arrogant manipulative wanker and he never deserved you."

Jim didn't know how long they stood there, but at some point, Sebastian kissed him and then led him to the motorcycle.

He kept his arms wrapped tightly around Sebastian as they drove through London, the roar of the engine finally drowning out the gloomy thoughts.

Sebastian suggested Jim rest for a bit, but he was starting to feel fidgety, so instead he joined him in the kitchen, probably getting more in the way than actually helping. But when dinner was ready, he was feeling a lot better.

The food was good. It always was when Sebastian was cooking. They didn't talk much while eating. Jim supposed Sebastian had a lot to think about too. Personally he was doing everything he could to keep the thoughts at bay. Every time Sherlock's face appeared before his inner eye, he'd picture Sebastian instead. Every time he heard his voice, he'd make himself remember how Sebastian sounded when he praised him or teased him. And every time the pain threatened to wash over him again, he'd look at the man sitting across from him and smile.

While Sebastian was clearing the table, Jim excused himself. On the way to the bathroom he noticed Sebastian's bag on the floor. It was open and he saw a hint of smooth, black fur. He smiled as he knelt down and opened it. The collar and the ears were there, along with the tail that Jim had left on the table of the dressing room after cleaning it. He had forgotten all about it.

…

Sebastian had finished the dishes and was sitting on the sofa, reading something on his phone, when Jim came crawling into the living room. He'd stripped off his clothes, left the tail and ears on the bed for Sebastian to get and was carrying the collar in his mouth. He couldn't quite meet Sebastian's eyes and he knelt by his feet, putting the collar into his lap.

"Are you... I thought you didn't want to do this again," Sebastian stammered, dropping his phone next to him on the sofa and almost reverently picking up the collar.

Jim didn't speak. He didn't want to. He just wanted Sebastian to understand. Understand that he really really needed to not be Jim for a while. That he needed to feel pretty and sweet. And loved.

Sebastian gave him a nod and held out his hand to pet Jim's cheek, then his neck. "Okay, Kitten. Better sit up so I can put on your collar."

Chapter Text

Jim woke up in Sebastian's arms, feeling as warm and safe as he could possibly wish for. The collar was next to him on the bed. Sebastian had insisted on taking it off, saying it wasn't safe to sleep with. The ears had fallen off during the night, but the tail, he realised with a groan, was still in. He'd never worn a plug this long. It felt uncomfortably tight and he suspected it was going to hurt a lot getting it out.

Very carefully, he lifted Sebastian's arm so he could slip away. If he didn't have the tail out before Sebastian woke up, surely he'd never hear the end of it.

"Hmm?" Sebastian tightened his grip on Jim. "Where're you going?"

"The bathroom," Jim said quickly. "Go back to sleep."

Sebastian made a huffy sound. "Wanna keep you..."

"I'll come back," Jim promised, wincing a little.

"Hmm." Sebastian released him and settled back, but then his eyes opened and he reached down to his thigh. "Oh..." Suddenly he seemed wide awake and he grinned. "You're still wearing the tail."

Jim tried to grin too. "Yeah... I forgot to take it out. I guess I just drifted off. It was a very good blowjob."

Sebastian chuckled. "Silly Kitten... That's going to be hell to take out."

Jim sighed. "Yeah... I know... Which is why I'm trying to get to the bathroom so I can take care of it. Now will you please let me go?"

Sebastian kissed him gently. "I'll help you. It's my fault anyway. I should have noticed. But as you said... It was a very good blowjob."

"So, do you have any experience with this kind of... situation?" Jim gestured weakly at his bum.

Sebastian smiled. "Not personally, but I know what to do. Going to the bathroom was a good idea anyway." He got up and walked around the bed, waiting for Jim. "Move slowly," he advised. "Walking won't be nice, but there's no rush."

Every step grew more painful and when Sebastian told him to get in the tub, Jim almost burst into tears. But, with a lot of help, he managed it, getting down on his hands and knees. He felt utterly ridiculous.

"Don't worry," Sebastian said, stroking down his back a few times. "Take deep breaths and try to relax. We'll have it out in no time."

He sat down on the edge of the bath and grabbed the showerhead. "This is going to be cold, but I've heard it makes it hurt less. Ready?"

Jim practically screamed as the freezing water hit his sleep-warm body. "How... How am I... supposed to... relax...?" he gasped, seriously considering punching Sebastian. But instead he gritted his teeth together and did as he was told.

When Jim started shivering, Sebastian turned off the tap. "I'm really sorry," he said, his warm hand petting Jim's back again. Then he took the bottle of lube he'd brought from the bedroom and generously applied it around the plug. "Deep breaths," he reminded, and he gave the plug a very gentle tug.

It seemed to take forever and Sebastian used so much lube that the bottle was almost empty by the end, but millimetre by millimetre the plug moved out, until Sebastian finally freed him of it.

"There you are, Kitten." He dropped the ruined tail next to the bath and stroked Jim's arse cheeks lovingly. "Poor little arse. Are you okay?"

Jim groaned. "If... If you don't mind... My poor little arse and I would like a moment... Alone..."

"Of course." Sebastian looked a little worried. "Anything you need, you call, okay?"

"Yeah... Of course..." Jim clenched his teeth as he got up, hoping that Sebastian would get out quickly.

Sebastian sent him a last sympathetic look and then closed the bathroom door behind himself.

10 minutes later, Jim opened the door, sticking his head out. "Hey," he said, smiling at Sebastian, who was sitting on the bed with a magazine. "I'm just going to take a quick shower, okay?"

"Oh..." Sebastian looked up. "Wouldn't you rather have a nice long bath? I could join you if you want..."

Jim hesitated. "Nah... Not right now. To be honest, I don't really feel like sitting down just yet. But I wouldn't mind snuggling a bit in bed when I'm done. Unless you want to get started on breakfast?"

"Snuggling sounds great."

"Keep the bed warm for me." Jim winked before closing the door again. His smile faded immediately. That was beyond a doubt the single most humiliating experience of his life. Had it happened with anyone but Sebastian, he'd probably be sneaking out the back door or crawling out the window, rather than having to look them in the eyes after that.

But Sebastian hadn't laughed. He hadn't made fun of him in any way. All he had cared about was Jim's comfort. Doing everything to keep the pain to a minimum.

Jim could still look Sebastian in the eyes, he decided as he relaxed and let the warm water wash over him. He could fall apart, play a Kitten and even screw up in the most humiliating way possible and Sebastian would still look it at him in that way that made him feel... Feel like nothing he'd ever felt before. Jim smiled and began whistling as he turned off the water and reached for a towel. As soon as he was dry, he hurried back to the bed and Sebastian's arms.

He soon drifted off again and when he woke, it was getting close to noon. He turned in Sebastian's arms to look up at him, giggling.

"How do you feel about brunch?"

"Hmm, good idea," Sebastian mumbled, before kissing him. "You stay here and rest your little arse some more. I'll cook you something nice." He ruffled Jim's hair and got out of bed.

"I can help," Jim said, sitting up. "My arse is fine."

"If you're sure," Sebastian said.

"Of course." Jim followed him. He was still a little sore, but it was nothing he couldn't handle.

...

In ridiculously little time, Sebastian had the table loaded with a delicious brunch. Without a word, he placed one of the pillows from the sofa on a chair and then sat down at the opposite side of the table.

Jim giggled as he sat down. "You're spoiling me."

"Of course. That's part of the deal, isn't it?" Sebastian smiled. "Wouldn't want my pet to run off."

"Why would I?" Jim cocked his head, smiling sweetly. "I am as happy as can be."

Sebastian's smile widened. "Good."

He stroked Jim's feet with his own under the table and for a while they ate in silence. A few times it was like Sebastian wanted to say something, but then he frowned and returned his gaze to his plate.

"Is something wrong?" Jim asked the fourth time this happened, starting to feel the first hint of the all too familiar knot of panic in his gut.

"No. Of course not," Sebastian said, though his expression was still rather thoughtful. "I was just thinking about... yesterday."

"Oh..." Jim had done something wrong. Of course he had. Was it the bawling over Sherlock? Or maybe initiating kitten play without asking first? Whatever it was, it clearly bothered Sebastian. Jim looked down at his plate. "I'm sorry..."

"What? What the hell would you be sorry for?" Sebastian shook his head. "The only one who should be sorry is that prick. What he implied about my past... I kind of feel like I should tell you what really happened in the army."

"Oh..." Jim laughed with relief, then quickly added: "You don't have to."

"I want to. Because... I'm not going to pretend I didn't do some bad things. I got in far too many fights and got warnings for my temper. But that's not the reason they kicked me out in the end."

Jim reached across the table to take Sebastian's hand. "It's okay," he said. "Whatever you did, it's okay."

"It was." Sebastian smirked. "If nobody had filed a complaint, everyone involved would have had a good time. But apparently it's not okay to be shagging your superior officers."

Jim's eyes widened. "Officers?" he asked, emphasising the last syllable.

"Yup. Three of them." Sebastian grinned. "I think one of the others felt left out. And instead of asking if he could play too, the idiot went and filed that complaint. I couldn't be mad at the others for putting the blame completely on me when that happened. I mean, they'd made their careers there and I'd only just come out of training. But that was when I learned I preferred giving orders rather than taking them. Good times." He chuckled.

Jim snorted. "I can imagine. And it might actually make a pretty awesome film. With the right actors."

"Oh..." Sebastian chuckled. "I've never thought of that."

"You'll play you, of course. Tony and I can be your lovers. And I think I've got just the man for the petty, jealous git..."

Sebastian snorted. "Would you really work with him again?"

"Under those circumstances, yes," Jim said. He leaned forward, grinning at Sebastian. "Tell me more. Did you do them separately or did you all get together?"

Sebastian laughed. "See, that's why I wanted to tell you this. You'd get all these horrible ideas about me and it really was just some fun nights. With all of them..."

...

"Ah, boys." Angelo gestured at the chairs across his desk when they entered the office. "Please sit. Did you see the poster?"

"Hard to miss it," Sebastian answered, grinning. "It's gorgeous."

"I must admit I look rather fetching as a Kitten," Jim said. "I can't wait to hear the reviews."

"It'll be a while before we get those," Angelo said. "But Bonding is doing well. Too well." He sighed. "I know I'm supposed to be happy, but... this isn't what I got into this business for, you know."

"Yes, we know," Sebastian said. "You made that clear before we filmed it. And, no offence, but... Who cares? If it pays the bills in the end..."

Angelo glared at him. "I do have some professional honour. UMQRA has always tried to offer films that were different. Not the same mindless pounding as all those other companies churn out. What we do is an art!"

"Then I suggest you put your 'artist' back to work," Jim suggested with a smirk. "But as long as Sherly is brooding, why don't you just sit back and let Seb and I make you rich?" He took Sebastian's hand, giving it a possessive squeeze. This was going even better than he'd dared hope.

Angelo huffed. "Have you got any new ideas? And before you say anything -" he gave Sebastian a pointed look - "I don't want to hear anything that involves whips or clamps."

"Oh, no, nothing like that," Sebastian answered, smiling. "I was thinking about sensation play. Just a very soft piece. Literally. Feathers and velvet, that kind of stuff."

Angelo studied him sceptically. "No one will be tied up?"

"Well... Jim will, of course. I mean, it's for his own safety. If we're playing with wax, we don't want him to bat at the candle and burn himself, do we?"

"That doesn't sound quite as soft and safe as you just implied," Angelo pointed out, his eyebrows rising.

"It'll be thrilling, but loving. Just like Bonding, and you did just say that that's found an audience."

"It's our number two film at the moment," Angelo admitted grudgingly. "Relevé's number one, of course. Which I suppose means I can't deny you much..." He shook his head at Jim.

Jim's grinned widened. He was the one thing their top films had in common. Not Sherlock. Jim.

All he needed now was for Sherlock's next project to fail and life would be perfect.

"I could make you a list of what I want to do in that film, if it eases your mind," Sebastian told Angelo. "I doubt it'll be much use writing an actual script."

Jim sort of tuned out after that, imagining a bright new future in which Sherlock was a miserable failure and he, Jim, was the shining star of the British porn industry. Where he ran his own company with Sebastian by his side and they all came to him, begging to be in one of his films.

Chapter Text

Only when they were leaving the studio did Jim realise that something was bothering him. Something Sebastian had said in Angelo's office. "That wasn't part of our plan," he muttered, feeling a sulk coming on.

"What?" Sebastian asked, puzzled.

"Making the next movie 'milder'." Jim wrinkled his nose. "Weren't we supposed to turn the heat up until it becomes too much for Angelo?"

"Oh. Eventually, yeah," Sebastian said, shrugging. "But we're still depending on him. If we can build just a bit more trust with this film, he'll be more likely to let us go further next time."

"I guess," Jim said. "So it's just you touching me with a bunch of stuff? What's so hot about that?"

Sebastian chuckled. "You asked the same question about being tied up, remember?"

"That's not the same," Jim huffed. "When you tied me up, you still fucked my brains out. From what you told Angelo, this will just be a lot of teasing and tickling."

"Oh, don't worry. You'll be well and thoroughly fucked." Sebastian grinned and stopped him for a kiss.

"Then I guess I can live with a couple of feather-dusters and ice cubes," Jim muttered against Sebastian's lips, before wrapping his arms around his neck and holding him down so he could deepen the kiss. They hadn't done much since the tail-incident. Jim hadn't quite been able to shake the awkward feeling and Sebastian must have sensed it since he hadn't pushed him for sex. But now, picturing himself tied up and blindfolded, not even knowing where the camera was as Sebastian pinned him down and fucked him senseless, Jim decided it was time to put the silliness behind him.

As if reading his mind, Sebastian pressed him against himself and kissed the spot just below his ear. "Let's go home," he whispered.

"Yes, please!" Jim let go and took Sebastian's hand, almost dragging him to his motorcycle.

Laughing, Sebastian put on his helmet and sat down. "Your place or mine?"

"I think you're out of lube," Jim said, smiling as he settled against Sebastian's back. "So either my place or we need to do some shopping."

Sebastian snorted. "I really should buy it anyway. But let's go to yours. I miss your bed."

...

It wasn't easy getting his key out of the pocket of his jeans while Sebastian was pushing him up against the door, snogging him like there was no tomorrow. And once they made it inside, they didn't exactly make much progress, as Sebastian just had him up against the other side of the door.

"I'd like to turn things around tonight," he growled against Jim's mouth.

Jim frowned. "What? Upside down?" He had a vague picture of himself hanging suspended by his ankles but couldn't quite figure out where Sebastian would fit in that.

Sebastian snorted, which finally enabled him to push Jim off enough to get them closer to the bedroom. "No, that's not what I had in mind. I want you to fuck me."

Jim almost choked. "Wh... What?" he gasped, pulling back so he could stare up at Sebastian. Was this some kind of trick he was playing on him? A new game?

Sebastian smiled and kissed his nose. "That. Come on." He gestured at the door.

Jim had to swallow a sudden lump. He'd only ever topped on film. And that was only the few times that Sherlock had thought it was needed. Which hadn't been very often, really. And Sherlock might be taller than Jim, but he was so skinny. It hadn't seemed odd. But with Sebastian... He was so much larger than Jim. Jim wouldn't be able to move him around or anything. "I... I'd rather not..." he murmured, looking away.

Sebastian frowned. "Why not? I can guide you through it. Or order, rather... Don't you like topping?"

Jim shrugged. "I haven't done it much. And it just seems... I mean, I like it when you're in charge. When you use me..."

"I'll be in charge..." Sebastian said. "Once I'm sure you're okay with trying this, at least. But I really want to have you inside me."

Jim felt his cock twitch at those words. "Okay..." he said, hoping it didn't sound as weak as it did in his own ears. "If... If you stay in charge, then I guess... I guess it's fine. If it's what you want."

Sebastian grinned. "Thank you, Kitten." He swooped Jim up in his arms and carried him into the bedroom. "Then I want it now."

When Sebastian put him down, Jim just stood there, looking uncertain. "Okay... What do you want me to do?"

"Undress," Sebastian said, "and don't worry about a thing. You're mine. You'll follow orders just like always. It's really not that different. I could even tie you up for this, but that's not as much fun for the first time, right?"

Jim kind of liked that idea, but he had no intention of arguing with Sebastian at this point. So he just nodded and began stripping off his clothes.

Sebastian stripped too and then sat on the bed, watching Jim until he was finished.

"I'm so glad we got tested again for the Kitten film," he said, smiling. "No more bothering with condoms between us... Best decision ever." He lay back on the bed as Jim stood waiting for the next order. "Grab the lube and come here."

"Yes, Sir." Jim agreed fully. This would make it even more special. Sebastian would be the first guy he'd have without any barrier between them. Sherlock had always been so obsessed about safety and... No! He was not going to think about him. At all. He was going to think about the beautiful man who was just lying there. Waiting for him. Jim brought the lube over, so eager that he was almost running to the bed.

Sebastian smiled up at him. "That snog just now was good. I'd like some more." He pushed himself up on his elbows, batting the lube out of Jim's hand so it fell on the mattress and then pulled him on top of him.

Jim squeaked as he lost his balance, trying desperately not to land with his full weight on Sebastian. Not that it would harm him, but it seemed like a bad beginning. He fumbled a bit but finally got comfortable, straddling Sebastian's thighs, kissing him hungrily.

Humming, Sebastian took control of the kiss, biting at Jim's lips. Then he tilted his head back. "Kiss my neck," he ordered.

Jim didn't hesitate but moved down Sebastian's body, kissing and sucking eagerly on his the soft warm skin.

"Slow down," Sebastian said with a chuckle. "I'm not going to run away if you don't kiss me a hundred times a minute."

Jim giggled. "But you're so tasty..."

"All the more reason to savour me slowly." Sebastian smiled.

"Why? It's not like you'll be used up." Jim allowed himself another long lick before looking up expectantly.

"Because I'm ordering to go slower," Sebastian said, clearly still amused. "Now nibble my collarbone."

He stopped petting Jim's back and let his hands fall palms-up on the mattress next to his head, giving Jim more space.

Jim did as told, taking his time. It was kind of fun being the active one. Having Sebastian tie him up and use him had made him rather lazy in bed. Except when he was Kitten. But he didn't see that happening again anytime soon.

"Left nipple," Sebastian instructed, and he hummed when Jim complied. "That's lovely. You are so perfect..."

He guided Jim all the way down to his hip, every time letting him linger on a spot before moving on. But then he made him sit up on his knees and handed him the bottle of lube.

"One finger, just circling, not pressing in. You can kiss anything you want, but not my cock."

Jim whined. He'd been so close to getting a good lick. But this game was all about obedience, so he applied the lube and teased Sebastian's hole with slow, lazy circles.

"Oh..." Sebastian let out a rumbling moan. "Very good. A little more pressure now."

Jim pushed, feeling his finger almost slide in. Anticipating the soft, tight heat that was waiting, he couldn't help but moan. He wanted it so badly now, but had to wait for Sebastian's order.

Smirking, Sebastian waited a whole minute before he said: "Okay. You can push in one finger and - unf."

Jim froze. "Too much?" he asked, ready to put his fingertip out at the least signal from Sebastian.

"No... Just hadn't expected you to move yet." Sebastian let out a chuckle. "For someone who wasn't sure about this, you're definitely eager..."

"Eager to please you." Jim turned his finger a little, testing. "You're very tight."

"It's been a long time," Sebastian said, his eyes falling shut. "Keep going slow for a bit. No big movements. And pull out when you feel you need more lube."

Jim was as gentle as possible, letting Sebastian's body set the pace. He added lube twice before his finger finally sank past the second knuckle and was completely buried inside Sebastian.

Now and then Sebastian moaned, but he just lay there, enjoying it. "Pull back until you're almost out," he instructed. "And then you can go in fast. I can take it."

Jim frowned but did as he was told, pausing before pushing in fast and deep.

"Fuck!" Sebastian cried out, panting. "Again!"

Encouraged, Jim repeated the motion, moving faster and with more confidence. Sebastian was clearly enjoying this.

"Suck me," Sebastian gasped between loud moans.

"Thank you," Jim gasped, thrusting his finger again as he surged down to take Sebastian's cock between his lips.

"Perfect," Sebastian groaned, his teeth clenched and his head thrown back. "Jim..."

To his surprise, Jim found himself able to take a lot more of Sebastian's length than last time. Pleased, he hummed and sucked hard.

"Another finger," Sebastian said, tangling a hand in Jim’s hair and failing to keep his hips still.

Pulling his head back a little, Jim fumbled with the lube as he pulled his finger out, slicked up a second one and pressed them in slowly.

Soon Sebastian made him return to a faster rhythm, but then suddenly he pulled Jim’s hair and gasped: "Stop. Off."

Jim sat up immediately, panting slightly. "Stop all of it?" He paused the movements of his hand. "Something wrong?"

"No... I just don't want to come yet." Sebastian flung his arm over his face, taking a deep breath. "Pull out."

Jim obeyed, wiping his fingers on the sheet. He wanted to ask what he should do now, but decided it would be better to wait, so he just sat there, smiling at Sebastian.

After a moment, Sebastian sat up and pulled Jim closer by his shoulder to kiss him. "You're wonderful. Taking such good care of me." He rested their foreheads together, still catching his breath.

"I'm just doing what you say," Jim said, trying not to look too proud of the praise.

"Exactly." Sebastian pulled back and smiled at him. "I want you so badly." He took the lube, squirted some onto his hand and wrapped it around Jim's cock, stroking very slowly.

Jim closed his eyes, drawing in a deep shaky breath. It felt so good. "I... I want you too," he whispered.

"Okay." Sebastian stopped stroking him. "Sit up so I can turn around."

Jim moved away at once. "Is that how... how you want to do it?" he asked, wondering what the odds were he might start to drool at the sight.

"If that's okay with you," Sebastian said, frowning a little as he studied him. "If you'd rather face me, I could ride you..."

"No," Jim said quickly. "It's your call. We do it the way you want."

Sebastian smiled and planted another kiss on his lips before he turned onto his knees, resting on his elbows. Then he looked back at Jim's face over his shoulder, a wicked glint in his eyes.

Jim kept on smiling. He was aching to jump Sebastian, but he was going to play by the rules. For as long as he could keep himself under control, anyway.

Sebastian winked and looked forward again, pushing his arse a little higher in the air. "Jim?"

"Yes, darling?" Jim said, blinking innocently.

"Fuck me!"

"Yes, Sir!" Jim rushed to take his place behind Sebastian. But once he had the tip of his cock pressed against his hole, he slowed down. Pushing as gently as he could, he closed his eyes, focusing on the feeling.

Sebastian groaned. "A little faster."

Holding on to Sebastian's hips, Jim let himself sink in. He moaned and cursed under his breath. This was so different without a condom. How was he going to keep himself from coming at the first thrust?

"Oh, you feel good... Fuck..." Sebastian pressed back against him.

Jim whimpered and bit his lip to hold back. "Can... Can I move?"

"Yes. Please."

As Jim began moving his hips, he looked down at Sebastian's back. It still seemed slightly unreal. All of it. Being with this gorgeous, strong man. Being so perfect together. When not long ago, he had felt like nothing could ever be right again.

For a while Sebastian let him keep his rhythm, but then his orders of "faster" and "harder" kept following each other as he pressed his forehead into the mattress.

"Touch me," he gasped finally, his muscles already starting to clench around Jim.

Jim leaned on Sebastian's back so he could reach around him, wrapping his hand around his cock. It proved to be more than he could handle and, jerking Sebastian with firm quick strokes he cried out. "I... I can't... Fuck..."

"Yes, come on, come inside me," Sebastian growled. Then, roaring Jim's name, he reached his orgasm.

Sobbing with pleasure, Jim came too, his hips snapping forward over and over as he emptied himself. When they were both finished, he wrapped his arms around Sebastian's waist, slumped over his back. "That was... perfect..." he panted.

"Yeah," Sebastian sighed, somehow still not collapsing. "You were."

"Just... following orders..." He began to ease out gently. "It was all... your doing..."

"No. You really are." Once Jim was out, Sebastian rolled onto his back, looking into his eyes.

Jim flopped down next to him and moved to rest his head on Sebastian's shoulder. "Thank you."

Sebastian kissed his forehead and put an arm around him. "You too. I'd been thinking about this a lot..."

"I haven't," Jim admitted. "I mean, we kind of have this thing going... Like... We have our roles, you know."

"Doesn't mean you can't have any fantasies you may want to act on," Sebastian said, tracing lazy circles over Jim's shoulder. "If you do, you can tell me about them. This goes both ways, after all..."

Jim giggled. "I do like the blindfold. And the cuffs were kinda hot too..."

Sebastian smiled. "And this? Would you like to do this again?"

"I wouldn't say no." Jim pressed his lips to Sebastian's skin. "But I do prefer it the other way."

"Okay. Just special occasions then." Sebastian smiled, looking up. "I'm such a lucky bastard."

"Not as lucky as me." Jim sighed happily.

Chapter Text

A young man lay on his back. His hands were cuffed together above his head and his eyes were covered with a shiny black cloth - probably silk. The fabric of the dark sheet that covered the mattress, however, seemed coarse and rough.

For a moment the screen went dark, then white letters appeared in the middle: ‘SENSATION - an UMQRA production by Sebastian Moran and Jim Moriarty’. When the image of the bed reappeared, a larger man, also naked, entered the bedroom. He walked up to the head of the bed, where he kissed his waiting lover.

“Remember your safeword, Anthony?” he asked as he pulled back, and the man on the bed nodded.

“Yes, Markus.”

“Good boy.” He trailed his fingertips down Anthony’s chest. The smaller man pressed his heels into the mattress and pushed up into the touch, but Markus pulled back his hand and continued to the oval table near the foot of the bed. On top of it stood a small wooden chest and a glass filled with ice cubes. Markus picked up the glass and pressed it against Anthony’s foot for a moment, earning a hiss. Smiling, he kneeled on the bed and fished out one of the cubes, holding it between the tips of his thumb and index as he slid it from the top of Anthony’s thigh down to his knee. Anthony shivered, and he sighed when Markus opened his mouth and breathed over the cube’s path right after.

Then Markus moved a little up the bed to draw a large spiral on Anthony’s chest with the ice. He dropped it back in the glass and worked Anthony’s right nipple between his cold fingers, eliciting a whimper. And again his hot mouth replaced his fingers right after, but this time a hint of teeth was visible as the camera zoomed in.

With a satisfied smirk, Markus straddled Anthony’s legs, tilting forward until their half-hard cocks brushed. Very slowly he moved back and forth, granting them both the lightest possible touch while the camera switched between their hardening cocks and the flexing muscles of Markus’ arse a few times, before Markus sat back and gave himself a couple of strokes, grinning.

“You’re gorgeous, you know that?” he told Anthony. “I’ve got so many treats for you.”

“Please. Show me,” Anthony begged breathlessly.

“Show?” Markus let out a deep chuckle. “Oh no. I’ll let you feel.”

He planted a quick kiss on Anthony’s lips and then got off him.

The next thing he took from the chest on the table was a strip of slick fabric. It seemed even more delicate than the blindfold and Markus brushed it against his own cheek, his eyes closing for a moment. Apparently it was soft enough to his liking, so he crawled back up the bed, stretched the piece of cloth between both hands so it was completely smooth, and rubbed it against Anthony’s lips a few times, not letting his fingers get anywhere near Anthony's skin.

Anthony’s mouth formed an “oh” as Markus took his time brushing the cloth down over his nipples and stomach. Then he sat between his legs again and, making sure the fabric was still completely smooth, held it just above Anthony’s cock. The viewpoint changed to Anthony's chest, looking down on his cock, and with a moan Anthony started rocking his hips, his erection sliding against the cloth on every upstroke. Finally Markus dropped the fabric so it covered the cock, and almost immediately a wet patch became visible at the tip, while Anthony still thrust his hips desperately, his knees bent for more leverage.

“Still,” Markus ordered, taking the cloth away. As he did so, the camera returned to his side of the bed, zooming in on the reddened skin at the back of Anthony’s thighs, the result of all his movement on the coarse sheet.

“Fuck,” Anthony groaned, but obediently he lowered his legs again, his hips jerking a few times more.

When he seemed to have calmed down, Markus bent again and opened his mouth wide to bite Anthony’s left thigh. Anthony’s moans rose in pitch and the camera zoomed in on a clear impression of teeth.

“Please… More…”

But in the time that he was off-camera, Markus had produced a large black feather which he skimmed over the bite, and Anthony growled in frustration.

The process was repeated on Anthony’s biceps and collarbone, and finally Markus bit his lower stomach, all too close to his leaking cock but never actually touching. Anthony was swearing and whimpering, but Markus would only soothe the skin with the feather and move on.

After his last bite, on Anthony’s right calf, he licked and sucked the bruise instead.

“Please touch me,” Anthony gasped, and Markus leaned back to take the glass with ice cubes from the table again, just holding it in his right hand while he braced his weight on the left and swallowed Anthony’s cock.

“Ffffuck…” Anthony groaned, thrusting up but stopping immediately when Markus touched the bottom of the cold glass to his hip. Then Markus pulled back, switching the glass to his other hand as he sat up. He wrapped his ice cold hand around the spit-slick erection and Anthony yelped.

“No… Please… I want your mouth…”

Markus chuckled again. “We both know I’m not going to let you come like that.”

“But I need you…”

“Ssh.” Markus put the feather and the glass on the table and then crawled up to kiss Anthony’s mouth, rubbing one of his nipples with his left thumb. “You know I’ll take care of you in the end. But we’re not done just yet. It’s not quite hot enough in this room, don’t you agree?”

He sat back on his knees and took the tall red candle out of its holder on the night table, then put it upright between his thighs. The camera zoomed in on Anthony’ face, and at the sound of a match being struck his mouth fell slightly open.

After a moment, the flame hovered in front of his lips. “Blow,” Markus ordered.

Anthony inhaled and then puckered his lips, extinguishing the match.

“Good boy.” Markus’ hand was seen ruffling his hair and then the camera zoomed out again, showing the burning candle still between Markus’ thighs. He took it in one hand, the other on his cock, stroking up at the same slow speed with which he lifted the candle.

Next he tilted the candle above Anthony’s chest. A gleaming drop of wax clung to the candle as it grew slowly, and then it finally fell.

Anthony gasped as it landed between his breastbone and right nipple, but he barely had the chance to recover before the next one joined it right above. Drop after drop touched his cool skin, all catching the light beautifully, until a large red M stretched over Anthony’s skin.

Markus blew out the candle and put it back in its holder, then leaned over to speak in Anthony’s ear: “Mine.”

Anthony whimpered, his whole body shivering, and Markus petted his stomach, smiling down at him, even though Anthony couldn’t see it.

“Do you like that?” Markus asked. “Do you like being marked by me?”

Anthony nodded fiercely.

“Good. Let’s give you a little more, then. Pull up your legs.”

Anthony bit his lip while Markus disappeared from view, and then it turned out that he was sitting between Anthony’s legs once again, while opening a small package. The camera focused on the tiny nobbled condom he pulled out, and stayed on it as he rolled it slowly over his right middle finger. He pumped a little lube onto the fingers of his left hand and circled Anthony’s hole with them, before he pushed in with the condomed finger.

“Oh,” Anthony gasped, as the minuscule lumps caught against his sensitive flesh one by one, and then Markus pulled a little back and started a steady rhythm. Then the soft cloth was back in his other hand, covering Anthony’s cock as he stroked him at the same speed.

Soon Anthony was making a lot of noise, but when he gasped: “I’m… I’m…”, Markus pulled away both the fabric and his finger, letting him cool down.

Anthony was out of breath, sweating and squirming. “Please…”

Markus gently kissed his lips and then took a larger foil package. Again the focus was on the condom, this one ribbed, as he rolled it onto his cock, but he moved much faster now. He took his place between Anthony’s legs again, kissing his knee, and then the full screen was filled with Markus’ cock pushing into Anthony’s arse.

“Yes. Oh, please!” Anthony cried, and when Markus started thrusting lightly, no doubt making Anthony feel every single ridge on the condom, the camera zoomed out to show them moving together. It didn’t take long before Anthony reached his orgasm, a spurt of come streaking his stomach with every slower thrust from Markus, and finally Markus pulled out.

He gently kissed Anthony, before pushing himself up to uncuff him and take off the blindfold. Then he pulled the smaller man into a hug, trapping his own still-hard cock, and the last shot showed Anthony smiling blissfully as he rested his cheek on Markus’ shoulder.

...

"Jim?" Sebastian appeared behind him, catching his eyes in the mirror. "Are you okay?"

After the shoot had ended, Jim had gone up to the dressing room that had become theirs. Not officially, but all the others tended to avoid it, probably because of the very real risk of walking in on the two of them at it.

The thought usually made Jim giggle, but today he just couldn't. He had peeled the wax off his chest, finding the skin reddened underneath. As he had turned to the mirror and seen the large M still clearly visible, it had felt... Odd...

The rest of the stuff in the film, the cloths and the ice cubes, had been kind of boring. At least to him. He did not doubt Sebastian's claim that there was an audience for it. But the wax, falling like liquid fire on his skin...

"Does it hurt?" Sebastian's voice was softer now. "I've got this cream we can put on it. But maybe some cold water first..."

"It's fine," Jim said, turning to smile up at Sebastian. "I can hardly feel it." He gave Sebastian a quick hug, grabbed a towel and headed for the shower. "I won't be long."

"Okay," Sebastian said. "Actually... I could use a shower too. Do you mind?"

"Oh darling," Jim purred, cocking his head. "You know I never mind..."

Sebastian chuckled. "Good. Because to me the film felt a bit... unfinished..."

"Well, you wrote it." Jim grinned and then winked. "So... Do you need a hand?"

"Yes please!"

It didn't take long and soon they were on their way down to the exit, hand in hand, debating what they should make for dinner.

Jim was about to make a very cheesy suggestion about what he’d like to eat, when he heard raised voices.

There was nothing unusual about hearing Angelo shout, but it was the first time he’d heard Sherlock this worked up. Upset, almost.

“Wow, someone’s in trouble,” Sebastian remarked.

“Shush…” Jim tugged on his arm and nodded towards Angelo’s office. “I want to hear this.”

Sebastian frowned, but then his eyes widened. “It’s him?” He led Jim over to stand under the stairs where they could listen without it being obvious. In fact, they’d snogged in this particular spot so many times that someone had jokingly hung a Do Not Disturb sign on one of the steps.

“I can’t force anyone to work with you!” Angelo sounded like he was doing his best to calm down. And failing.

“Why not?” Sherlock wasn’t even trying. He was practically screaming. “You’re their boss. There must be something in their contracts about being obligated to do the projects you assign them.”

“They have the exact same contract as you, Sherlock. What did you think? That you were some kind of porn royalty? Don’t be a prat!”

“A prat? I’m the prat here? How about those morons who show up for the read-through and then bail out on the first day of shooting? What are they, then?”

“They’re actors! Actors whom you treated like… like…”

“Like the talentless trash that they are!”

There was an extended moment of trembling silence. Then Angelo roared: “Out! Get out! And don’t come back before you’ve beaten some sense into that overgrown knob you call a brain!”

Sebastian was shaking with barely suppressed laughter and Jim felt like giggling hysterically, but just then the door slammed above them and Sherlock came thundering down the stairs. Jim did the only sensible thing and flung his arms around Sebastian, silencing them both with a hard kiss.

He didn’t pull back until Sherlock had disappeared down the hall, shoving a couple of extras out of the way.

“That was…” he gasped, looking up at Sebastian.

"Exactly the kind of thing that will make our little project work?" Sebastian suggested, grinning.

"I couldn't have planned it better myself." Jim let himself giggle freely. "Trust Sherlock to fuck things up."

Sebastian kissed him again, still shaking with laughter. "We should celebrate," he whispered.

Jim nodded eagerly. "Any suggestions? Other than the obvious?" He bit Sebastian's lip gently.

Sebastian hummed and kissed him some more before he answered. "I could take you out..."

"Dinner and a show?" Jim teased, pressing himself up against Sebastian. "Wouldn't you rather just... take me home?"

Sebastian moaned softly. "Maybe... I could keep you entertained until the club opens..."

Jim pushed him away, staring up at him. "The club? You mean... that club?"

"Yeah...?" Sebastian shrugged. "We could dance a bit. Meet my old colleagues."

"Dance? There's actual dancing at that place?" Jim frowned. "Are we going just so you can show me off? Your new porn star boyfriend?"

Sebastian smiled and leaned in. "Would that be bad? Me showing off what a catch you are? If we both know you're mine?"

"I am?" Jim put his hand on Sebastian's cheek, looking up at him. "Like... for real?

"Of course." Sebastian put his arms around his waist to pull him close again. "All mine."

"And you're mine," Jim purred, moving his hand into Sebastian's hair to pull him down for another kiss.

Chapter Text

While Sebastian searched the kitchen for something he could turn into dinner, Jim went through his closets, wondering what would be an appropriate outfit for that club. He discarded the clothes he'd worn the first time he went out with Sebastian and then realised that it was pretty much the only hot one he had.

Well, then he'd just have to go for something else. At the very back he found the suit he'd bought for a friend's wedding. It was a pretty expensive brand, but he'd gotten a very good deal. He'd only worn it that once. Maybe it was time to get it out again. He put the suit carefully on the bed along with a white shirt and then got out his three ties, putting them on the suit one after one to determine which was most suitable.

"Sebastian!" he called. "Do you have a second?"

"Uh, yeah, I don't think anything can burn right now." Sebastian joined him in the bedroom and then stopped to stare at the clothes on the bed.

Jim suppressed a smile and held up the ties. "Which one would you prefer gagging me with tonight?" he asked, blinking innocently.

"Uhm... I think you're going to be a bit overdressed," Sebastian said. "Not that picturing you in that suit isn't doing it for me..."

Jim felt his mood deflate a little. "But I want to look good. For you... Don't tell me people in that place don't dress however the hell they want."

"They do, but that's kind of the point." Sebastian put an arm around him. "Most people just wear whatever feels comfortable. And it's usually pretty warm in there, so I don't think you'll feel good in all that. Maybe just the trousers and the cream-coloured tie?"

"No shirt?" Jim raised an eyebrow.

Sebastian smiled and shrugged. "You wanted to look good for me..."

Jim huffed. "Look good... Not be your little trophy slut." He pulled his t-shirt off, displaying the slowly fading M, and sat down on the bed. "Go... Cook... I'll figure something out."

"Okay..." Sebastian said, frowning a little as he returned to the kitchen.

Jim almost threw the suit back in the closet. What did Sebastian want? Jim skipping around in nothing but a thong and a collar? Or a tail? Jim kicked the dresser and then spent almost two minutes cursing at the pain in his toe.

He considered putting on the worst, oldest clothes he had, but they did have something to celebrate. And he supposed Sebastian did know best when it came to the club.

Finally he settled on a grey tee with a deep v-neck and some khaki trousers that hung so low on his hips that his pants would be visible enough to keep Sebastian entertained.

"Oh... That's better." Sebastian grinned as Jim returned to the kitchen. "You'll fit right in." His gaze lowered to Jim's waist for a moment and he licked his lips.

"Yeah, whatever," Jim said, walking over to examine the food. "Smells good," he said, leaning close enough for Sebastian to notice he was wearing his favorite cologne. The one Sebastian had once said he should only wear when he wasn't planning on wearing anything else.

"Oh, fuck." Sebastian pressed his nose against Jim's neck and moaned. "We're never going to make it out, are we?"

"Of course we are," Jim said, pushing him away. "We're going to have a nice meal and then we'll go to your club and you can introduce me to all your friends."

Sebastian smiled. "Alright. If you're sure you don't rather have me eat you."

"Later, darling," Jim cooed. "Save it for the club." He winked and turned away. "I'll set the table."

…

Jim leaned his head against the window, watching the cars they passed. They hadn't spoken a word since getting into the cab. Since leaving his flat, actually. Jim was having serious doubts this club thing was a good idea.

First there had been the thing about his clothes. He didn't like Sebastian telling him what to wear, but Jim supposed he had a point about it being too hot. Then, once Jim had started feeling quite excited about going, Sebastian had suggested that his outfit needed one final touch. The collar!

Had they not been in his own flat, Jim might have stormed out. They might be together and Sebastian might play the Dom for the camera. But Jim was not his little pet. He was not going to be paraded around on a leash, crawl on the floor or sit in Sebastian's lap. He was a grown man going to an adult club with his friend/lover.

Jim had made this very clear to Sebastian, who had just smiled and shrugged, saying it was only a suggestion. So, deprived of the fight he'd been ready for, Jim had no option but to fume. Which he did. All the way to the club.

It wasn't until he stood on the curb and Sebastian took his hand that he managed to relax. He was here now. What was the point in coming here if he was not going to let himself enjoy it?

Hell! He was going to enjoy it! He had something to celebrate after all. He had been right. Sherlock was lost without him. Not the other way around.

So he looked up at Sebastian and grinned.

Jim didn't quite know what he had expected the club to be. But definitely not this.

The door led to a short hallway and then they were greeted by a couple of coat check girls who squealed when they saw Sebastian and jumped over the counter to hug him. Judging from the room behind them, all sorts of people came here. There were expensive furs, floor-length leather coats and studded denim jackets. But for the most part, it was just regular coats like you'd expect to see in any cloakroom around town.

After Sebastian had peeled the girls off his arms, he took Jim's hand and led him through two sets of double doors. It was like entering another world. Or rather one of those nightclubs you only ever saw in American films. The room was huge. Three stories high with galleries and walkways around the edges, from which people looked down on the crowded dancefloor and the stage which was, for the moment, empty except for a large, wooden cross in the shape of a narrow X.

“Welcome to Gomorrah!” Sebastian said, gesturing around.

They came out on the middle level, at the top of a wide flight of stairs leading straight onto the dancefloor. But Sebastian pulled Jim to the side and along one of the galleries. They went down a free-standing spiral staircase that led to the bar, where a couple of booths were placed along the wall, all of them filled with drinking, talking and snogging people.

Except for the cross on stage and the distinctive fetishy style of clothing most people were wearing - if they were indeed wearing more than their underwear - it could have been any club, Jim thought. And then he saw it. Across the room from the bar was another long counter. But rather than bottles, the wall behind it was lined with whips, paddles, cuffs, plugs, vibrators, gags, masks and a myriad of items Jim couldn’t identify. Nor did he want to. Two young men in leather harnesses were manning that other 'bar' and while Jim watched, three middle-aged women came up to them, chatted for a while and then walked away with several items.

"Already checking out the toys?" Sebastian asked, smiling. "I was going to suggest grabbing a drink first..."

"No! I wasn't... I was just surprised..." Jim spluttered. "We're not here for that... right?"

"Only if you want to." Sebastian chuckled. "We can just grab whatever we like for free. It's included in the entrance fee, which we didn't pay because you're with me."

Jim couldn't help a giggle. "I guess around here, you're the big star."

Someone gasped. “Sebastian!” A moment later, a skinny guy with short-cropped dark hair, who wore ripped jeans and a mesh tank top, stood in front of Sebastian and kissed him on the mouth. “It’s so good to see you! We thought you’d said you’d visit often!”

"Sebby... Darling!" Another guy pushed past the first one to kiss Sebastian too, cupping his cheeks lovingly. "You naughty boy. How dare you abandon us like that?" But before Sebastian could answer, he turned to Jim, smiling. "And who do we have here?" Jim tried desperately not to stare, but it was kind of hard when the man before him was wearing nothing but a floor-length pinstriped skirt, closed down one side like a kilt with more straps and buckles than could possibly be necessary. His chest was bare, revealing that both nipples were pierced with gleaming silver studs. At the shoulders, Jim glimpsed hints of a tattoo that must extend all the way across his back.

Sebastian laughed. “Calm down, you two. You act like it’s been years. I’ve just been busy with my new job…” He smiled. “This is Jim, my boyfriend. Jim, meet Ronald and Pete, ex-colleagues.”

Pete, the one in the skirt, cocked his head. "Jim? Jim Moriarty? You're dating Jim Moriarty?" He nudged the other guy in the ribs. Pretty hard by the looks of it. "Don't you recognise him? He's that gorgeous twink from that train movie. Oh wow!" He took Jim's hand and shook it vigorously. "I'm such a fan. I can't ride the tube anymore without getting a semi thanks to you."

Jim hoped that the coloured lights of the club would hide his blush as he smiled up at Pete. "Uhm... Thanks. I guess..."

Ronald snorted and pushed Pete away to claim his own turn at shaking hands with Jim. "Sorry about Pete. He can be a bit... much. But we did love that film."

Jim smiled and nodded. "It's nice to know that my work is appreciated," he said. "It... It was my first film, so I never expected it to receive any kind of attention."

"Your first?" Pete practically squealed and turned to stare, almost accusingly, at Sebastian. "Is he for real?"

"Oh yes." Sebastian smiled. "I checked, and he's solid. Not just a projection of my fantasies."

"Well, two months in and you've got yourself a celebrity boyfriend. Well done!" Ronald laughed. "So how's it been? Is it weird, having a camera around?"

"Well, you know, I've never really minded people watching." Sebastian shrugged. "It's really not that different. Just more staged, but I've been lucky enough to work only with Jim so far, so we're pretty good at getting around that and popping in some more spontaneous actions. It's been a lot of fun, really. Did you see the latest Shared Secrets?"

"Isn't that one of those magazines?" Ronald frowned. "I never really buy that stuff. I mean, it's not like we need pictures after coming here every day..."

"Yeah, but you could have seen us together. They gave away a dvd with the last issue..."

"There's a dvd? Of you two?" Pete pouted. "And you didn't send me a copy. Sebby, darling. I'm disappointed in you."

Ronald shoved him and launched into a series of questions about some of the more technical details of filming. Pete turned his attention back to Jim. "So... You guys are really together? Like... a couple?"

Jim shrugged. "Yeah. I guess we are. It just sort of happened."

"So you're shagging on and off film? That's so hot." Pete gestured at the bar. "Come on, let me buy you a drink. I want to hear everything."

Jim didn’t tell him everything. There were many things about his and Sebastian’s relationship that he did not want to share. Especially not before he had figured them out for himself. But he did talk a lot about the stuff they’d been doing around the studio and the reactions from people catching them.

Pete bought them drinks, led Jim to one of the tables by the dancefloor and waved off several people, which Jim couldn’t help but find very flattering. Especially considering that Pete was actually supposed to be working right now. It turned out he’d seen most of Jim’s films and knew all the ‘good scenes’ by heart.

It was strange talking about his own films without any mention of Sherlock, except for when Pete referred to him as ‘that other bloke’. It felt really good. Jim finally let himself believe that he really did have a career of his own. That he was going to make it. With Sebastian.

After the next drink, Pete offered Jim to show him around the club. Jim glanced up at Sebastian and seeing that he and Ronald had been joined by several other people, Jim nodded and thanked him.

He really tried not to blush as Pete took him behind the counter of the bar to show him all the toys on the wall, pointing out his personal favourites. Jim got the impression that Pete assumed he knew more about that kind of thing than he actually did. But he supposed it made sense. With him and Sebastian being together.

At first he just played along, but gradually it began bothering him. He couldn’t say why, but it just made him really uncomfortable. Finally, when Pete asked him if Seb favoured the flogger or the paddle, Jim snapped.

“I’m not his sub, you know,” he said, crossing his arms. “It’s not like that at all.”

“Oh…” Pete frowned at him. Then he raised his eyebrows. “Oh! I see. Well, I guess I just always assumed that Seb… Y’know, with him being so good at what he does.”

Jim just shrugged. Sure, they’d been doing some stuff that probably did count as kink, but that had only been practising for films. Or just having fun. Sebastian wasn’t his Master or Dom or any of those other terms these people liked to pin on themselves. He was just his… his boyfriend.

“But,” Pete continued, smiling again, “you have tried some of the stuff, right? Ropes, gags, clamps?”

“No!” Jim gasped. “I mean, ropes and gags, sure. But not clamps. That sounds very… uncomfortable…”

Pete laughed and so did the girl who was handing out toys to the customers while obviously listening to their conversation.

“That’s kind of the point, honey,” she said, reaching over Jim’s shoulder and taking down a pair of small silver clamps, connected by a thin chain. “These are my favourite. They’re not the tightest we’ve got, but they give just the right pinch without tugging too much. They’re perfect for beginners.”

“Thanks, Sarah,” Pete said, kissing her cheek as he took the clamps and hung them on one of the hooks on his belt. He glanced at Jim. “See anything else you like?”

For a moment, it felt like the room tipped violently and Jim almost grabbed the counter for balance. He took a deep breath and forced himself to smile. “No… I’m good. I mean… It’s fine…”

Feeling like he was losing touch with himself, Jim watched as Pete took his hand and led him back out to the dancefloor and along the side to one of the stairs up to the middle gallery.

He wanted to look for Sebastian, but instead he just saw himself being steered down a wide, dimly-lit corridor, lined with doors, most of them slightly ajar, inviting the people in the corridor to look in. Jim caught a glimpse of a woman hanging in a sling, while two leather-clad men were snogging and wanking each other in front of her. He looked away, right into another room where the women he had spotted earlier were taking turns whipping a gorgeous young man who was squirming and tugging on the chain that hung from a hook in the ceiling, keeping his arms stretched above his head.

Judging from his moan and leaking erection, he was enjoying it as much as they were.

“This place is really… interesting,” Jim heard himself say, wondering if the breathiness of his voice would be interpreted as fear or desire. Probably both. The setting was certainly perfect for that unique blend of emotions. A deer caught in headlights, Sebastian had called it. That Jim was gorgeous like that, but needed to be challenged.

Well, he was certainly getting challenged now. He wondered how it would look. His nipples squeezed between the cold metal and then the camera moving up his chest and neck to show his face as he gasped, his eyes closed with mixed pain and lust. Then Pete grasping the chain and pulling lightly, making Jim cry softly and beg. Beg him to stop. Beg him not to stop.

He could play that. He'd sell that and show Angelo how to make a real hit.

He was regretting his choice of wardrobe when Pete finally found an empty room and pulled him inside, leaving the door open. But he supposed the deep neckline worked pretty well, as Pete took hold of it, pushed him up against the wall and bent down to kiss his neck. Jim closed his eyes, wondering if they looked good together. If they clashed too much.

Then he felt a hand in his hair. Caressing at first, but then it tightened and pulled his head slightly to the side. It hurt and he was about to protest, when he felt a second set of lips against his skin. Just behind his ear.

Jim moaned deeply and smiled. He almost said Sebastian’s name before realising that the kiss was different. The lips were too soft. And the height was wrong. His eyes snapped open and he had a quick glimpse of dark hair, just enough to make him realise that it was Ronald who had joined them, before both men pulled away and Pete yanked Jim’s shirt up over his head.

While Jim struggled to untangle his arms and get the shirt all the way off, he felt a strong hand on his chest. And then there was a mouth on his right nipple, sucking and licking gently. And then one of his left too. Jim whimpered. That felt entirely too good.

He’d seen movies of threesomes and foursomes and had often wondered why anyone would want to be ganged up on in that way. Now he knew.

He finally managed to get rid of his shirt and looked down at the two men who were teasing his nipples with their lips, tongues and teeth while their hands roamed over his hips and thighs. What would it be like to let them go further? To feel their hands and lips all over? To let them use him…?

Pete straightened up, gave Jim a quick kiss and then pinched his nipple between his fingers. Jim cried out. That hurt. Even more after all the sucking and nibbling.

But Pete obviously took it as a sign of pleasure. “Looks like you’re ready,” he said, unhooking the clamps from his belt and testing one on his finger before opening it wide and raising it to Jim’s nipple.

“I… I…” Jim gasped, realising that Pete didn’t know the safeword. That they hadn’t even talked about it. He sucked in a shaky breath in lungs that felt too small. His lips shaped the ‘No’, but he wasn’t entirely sure if he had actually said it. Or if Pete could hear it over the sounds from the other rooms.

“Jim?” Sebastian’s voice sounded suddenly from the corridor. “Jim, where are you?”

It was like a key unlocked something inside him. “Seb!” he cried. “Sebastian! In here!”

Pete frowned and took a step back, letting the clamp click shut with an audible snap.

“Awh,” Ronald said. “He just can’t get enough of you, can he? He’s not even letting us play on our own…”

Jim pushed them both aside as Sebastian appeared in the door. “Sebastian!” He practically ran to him, almost bursting into tears as he felt the familiar strong arms wrap protectively around him.

“Hey,” Sebastian said, kissing his hair. “Are you okay? What’s going on here?”

“We were just showing him the club,” Pete said, sounding rather sheepish. “And having a bit of fun. He… He didn’t say we couldn’t…”

Sebastian gently pushed Jim a little back to look at him. “Is anything hurting?”

Jim shook his head, fighting the urge to sniff. He just wanted Sebastian to hold him again. And everything else to go away. “I’m fine. We were just… having fun.”

Sebastian frowned. “It didn’t look like you were having a good time when I arrived.”

“No,” Jim admitted. “Pete wanted to show me those clamps and… Well, you know…” He leaned on Sebastian, hiding his flushed cheeks against his chest. “My nipples…”

“Yeah.” Sebastian sounded a little amused. “That is an interesting choice.”

“What?” Pete asked, defensively. “What’s wrong with clamps?”

“Nothing. Jim’s just a bit… sensitive,” Sebastian explained, barely hiding a laugh.

Jim pouted and slapped Sebastian’s chest. “I’m not sensitive,” he mumbled. “I just don’t like it when it hurts that much.”

This made the others laugh too and Jim cringed. Just what he needed. To become a joke. Well, he kind of deserved it after all his stupid dreaming. Actually believing he had fans.

But Sebastian stroked his back. “Why didn’t you safeword?”

“Uhm…” Pete sounded contrite. “We never got around to all that. I frankly didn’t think it was necessary. I mean, we weren’t doing a scene or anything. Just a bit of light fun.”

Sebastian’s arm tensed around Jim. “You didn’t ask for his safeword? What are you, amateurs?”

“I thought he had asked…” Ronald said.

“That doesn’t matter!” Sebastian huffed. “You check. You always check. Seriously…”

Jim could feel himself starting to smile. Trust Sebastian to turn this into a lecture. He looked up at him.

"It's okay, Seb. We really weren't doing anything serious. If I had said stop they would have. Right, guys?"

"Of course," Ronald said quickly. "We're really sorry. I mean, when I saw Pete and you I really thought you were into it..."

"I was," Jim said. "Just not the clamps. Pain is really not my thing."

Pete glanced at the M on his chest. "Only when the cameras are running?" he teased.

Sebastian smiled. "Well, it is my thing..."

"Yeah, I know," Pete said. "How exactly does that work with you two being...?"

Sebastian raised his eyebrows and Ronald grabbed Pete's arm. "Maybe leave the questions for later. We should get back to work. Give them a moment. Unless you want...?"

Sebastian shook his head. "Not now, anyway. Thanks."

Ronald nodded and dragged Pete out.

Chapter Text

As Sebastian turned back to Jim, his gaze softened. "I can't leave you alone for one minute, can I?"

Jim's smile faded and he looked down at the floor. "I'm sorry," he muttered. Shit! He'd done it now. For the first time ever he actually had a good thing and he just had to mess it up royally.

"Hey, it's not my nipples you were getting hurt," Sebastian said, nudging his shoulder.

Jim giggled a little. "Oh?" he said, glancing up at Sebastian. "I thought it was all yours."

Sebastian shrugged. "Doesn't mean I can't let my friends borrow it... If you want them to, that is. I mean... We pretty much shag people for a living. We'll never be completely exclusive. If you want to do that outside of work, that's fine, but... I wouldn't mind if you want to play with others too."

Jim considered it. It had felt awfully good getting the attention of those two. And if he really did have fans, he'd probably be getting more offers. But it would go both ways... Would he mind it if Sebastian slept with somebody else? He tried picturing it and all it did was turn him on a bit. So, grabbing a handful of Sebastian's hair, he pulled him down for a kiss. "I want that very much," he purred.

Sebastian smiled against his lips. "But maybe, for now, we should keep it to when we're together. So we can form some rules to work from. And so you don't get yourself in situations like just now."

"Oh but, Sebastian..." Jim pushed him back and looked up with his best puppy eyes. "You know me... I just can't help getting in trouble. I'm too cute for my own good." He cocked his head, smiling sweetly.

"Oh, you are," Sebastian rumbled, his eyes darkening. "But if they know you belong to me, they won't risk making me angry..."

Jim's smile widened. "So what do you want to do? Hold my hand the whole time? Or write 'Property of SM' on my forehead?"

Sebastian chuckled. "I doubt that'd help. They'd just think you're club property."

Jim felt himself blushing. "Oh... I hadn't thought of that..." Then he snorted. "Oh, but this club isn't just SM is it? So.... it should really be 'property of Big Dumb Sebastian Moran'."

"Oi!" Sebastian slapped his arm. "I should have let them have their way with your nipples. But no, that's not what I had in mind." He pulled something out of his pocket. "I know you said you didn't want it, but it'll do the trick to show them you're taken..."

Jim looked at the collar. He should be angry. He had told him no. But it made sense. And, being here, seeing it all, he realised that he wouldn't mind being Sebastian's sub. Just for the night. So he nodded and bent his head, the way he used to do when playing the Kitten.

"Yeah." Jim could hear the smile in Sebastian's voice as he patted his hair. "That's better, isn't it? You do like being owned..." He fastened the collar and tipped Jim's chin up to kiss him again.

"Just for tonight, right?" Jim asked, holding Sebastian back with a hand on his chest. "It's just a game we play here at the club. Just so we're clear on that."

"Of course. Only when you want to play," Sebastian promised.

Jim kissed him deeply and then took his hand. "Okay, darling," he said. "Let's go play."

Sebastian nodded. "Remember the safeword?"

"Of course I do," Jim said. "Don't worry."

Sebastian quirked an eyebrow.

"What?" Jim frowned. "You don't believe me?"

"It's kind of important..."

Jim huffed. "It's colonel, okay? Now can we please get out there before I change my mind?"

"Yes. Thank you, Kitten." Sebastian kissed his temple and then opened the door.

"I take it Pete gave you a tour before you got... distracted?" he asked, putting an arm around Jim.

"Just the rooms here," Jim said, smiling. "And the toys behind the bar."

Sebastian nodded. "I guess you've seen the most important bits then. There are also private rooms, but that's one thing even I actually have to pay for. These rooms can never be locked and most have peep holes and stuff. The one-way mirrors can be interesting. I suppose all that's left to show you is the dungeon."

"Dungeon?" Jim hoped his laugh didn't sound as nervous as he felt. "Like an actual... dungeon? I think I'll pass. This time."

Sebastian laughed. "If you're sure. So what do you want to do? Dance, or...?"

Jim giggled. "I think I prefer ‘or’... Should we pay for a private room or give the peepers a treat? I suppose we could call it promotion."

"Shame we haven't got any flyers for our films." Sebastian snorted. "But yeah... Let's see how much attention we can attract."

"I... I saw chains in some of the rooms," Jim said, grinning a little. "Maybe we could have some fun with those? I think I'm in the mood for a little bondage. If you don't mind."

"Do you think I ever mind?" Sebastian grinned.

"In that case, I'm all yours," Jim said. "Your eager little sub, ready to be used in any way you please." He tried to play the part but couldn't quite hold back his giggling.

Sebastian smirked. "Good. You wait in that room. I'm just going to get a few things."

Jim stood for a moment in the middle of the room, feeling a bit lost. An entire wall was taken up by a large mirror. Behind which any number of people could be watching him. He supposed it wasn't much different from making films. In fact, even more people would be watching those. But still... This was live. No editing. No second takes. And no rehearsals.

He studied himself in the mirror and realised that he looked amazing. The collar was a stark contrast to his pale skin as was the large red letter. His hair was still tousled from his encounter with Pete and Ronald, his eyes wide and his cheeks flushed. If this was what others saw, he couldn't blame them for making assumptions. He really did look like the perfect sub.

He realised that he was preening and forced himself to look away from the mirror. Instead he studied the chains. There were three of them, hanging from a large hook in the middle of the ceiling. Two of them were pretty thick and ended in metal cuffs, lined with black fabric. He tested it with his finger. Soft cotton, it seemed. He noticed that the chains were adjustable. So no matter the height of the sub, they would always be just right.

The third chain puzzled him. It was longer than the others. And a lot thinner. And instead of cuffs it ended in a small safety hook. It didn't look very strong. Like both line and hook would snap easily if pulled on.

"Do you like it?" Sebastian asked, closing the door behind him, giving them the illusion of privacy.

Jim whirled around to face him, smiling. "Yes, I..." Then he noticed the objects in Sebastian's hands. "What's that?"

"Do you really need me to describe it?" Sebastian asked, chuckling as he held up the vibrator in one hand and the dark red flogger in the other.

"That's not what I meant," Jim huffed, crossing his arms. "That thing is for hitting. I did not agree to that."

"Relax," Sebastian said, handing him the flogger. The ends felt like velvet, but were surprisingly light. "That thing is for show."

Jim tried swinging it against his arm. It really didn't hurt. And he supposed it would look good. "Fine," he said, giving it back to Sebastian. Then he pointed at the vibrator. "That one had better not be just for show."

Sebastian smiled. "Of course not. Ready?"

"I'm always ready for you," Jim said, walking to the middle of the room to stand under the chains. "Do your worst, darling."

"Careful." Sebastian stepped behind him and kissed his neck. "I doubt you want me to act on my worst fantasies about you..."

"Probably not," Jim allowed, closing his eyes. "But I trust your judgement. You know my limits. And my turn-ons."

"Yes." Sebastian licked up behind his ear and slid a hand down Jim's chest. "I do."

Then he suddenly grabbed Jim’s wrists and pulled them together behind his back.

Jim felt his pulse quicken immediately. He turned a little, making sure that the M would be visible to the mirror. Let them talk. It would be great for the film once it was released. He moaned again, fighting the urge to lean back against Sebastian. He was going to be a good boy this time. Only do what he was told. As long as it wasn't too ludicrous.

Sebastian smirked at him in the mirror and pulled down the chains.

He moved slowly, first raising Jim's right arm, securing the cuff around his wrist and taking care to adjust the chain just right. He kissed him before cuffing his left hand and then stepped back to enjoy the view. Then finally he took the thin chain and Jim gasped as he realised its purpose, barely a second before Sebastian attached the hook to the ring on his collar.

He looked at himself in the mirror. It was strange. The cuffs held him in place, but it was the thin chain - the leash - that made him feel under control. That made him feel owned.

"Fuck..." he whispered, not able to take his eyes off himself.

"Yup," Sebastian said, smiling. "That's how gorgeous you look when you let me take care of you. When you accept you're mine."

That bastard! Trust Sebastian to know exactly how he was feeling. Jim made himself laugh. "Don't push it," he teased. "You know it's just a game."

Sebastian hummed and rubbed his cheek roughly against Jim's shoulder, the stubble burning slightly. Then he stepped back and picked up the flogger.

Jim felt himself tremble. He knew Sebastian would never hurt him. He'd felt the flogger. How soft it was. And still, seeing Sebastian holding it, looking so powerful, he felt a twinge of fear. And under it something else. Something darker.

Sebastian's eyes met his for just a moment before he let the flogger come down on his shoulder blade for the first time. Even though he swung his arm forcefully and the pieces of velvet snapped on the upswing, the hit didn't sting.

Jim's groan was more from relief than anything else, but he doubted anyone watching would know the difference.

As there wasn't much to recover from, Sebastian immediately hit him again, this time a little lower. But then he stopped and moved to Jim's front, straightening the flogger between his hands and looking threatening.

This time Jim's shiver was purely for show. He knew there was nothing to be nervous about. But Sebastian did look incredibly hot like this. So he let his eyes widen and whimpered. "Please..."

"You know why I have to do this, don't you?" Sebastian growled. "Why I need to punish you."

"Because I was naughty," Jim answered happily, trying to look penitent. "Because I strayed."

Sebastian reached out and trailed two fingertips over the mark on Jim's chest. "Because you don't appreciate what it means to be mine." He pressed just a little too hard on the tender skin.

Jim hissed, but held back a glare. "Yeah? Show me, then?"

Sebastian's eyes darkened. "Oh, I will." He stepped back again and studied the flogger in his hands.

Jim bit his lip in anticipation as he closed his eyes again. It might be even better when he didn't know where and when the hits would land.

Sebastian circled him slowly, spreading the hits evenly over his siden, shoulders and back. It still didn't hurt, but Jim felt his skin heating up under the stimulation. The burn wasn't unpleasant but it was getting pretty intense.

"Seb..." he gasped, opening his eyes. "Touch me... Please..."

Smiling, Sebastian let the flogger come down one last time before he dropped it. He stepped close and kissed Jim deeply.

Jim sucked greedily on his lips. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been this aroused. This needy. He thrust his hips forward, trying to grind against Sebastian.

Sebastian stepped back, chuckling. "Still, pet."

"But I'm horny," Jim whined. "That thing has made my skin all tingly. It's driving me nuts." He tugged on the chains, almost desperately.

"Jim," Sebastian chided. "You're just going to earn yourself another flogging with all that whining. I told you to keep still."

He tried. He really tried, but the treacherous chains kept jangling with every impatient twitch. "Please, Sebastian," he begged. "I'll be good. I need you to touch me. Please..."

"If you're really good," Sebastian said, pressing his hand lightly against Jim's crotch.

"Always," Jim promised, forcing himself not to move into the touch. "You know I am."

Sebastian nodded proudly and opened Jim's jeans slowly. Then he turned to stand behind him, so the view from the mirror wouldn't be blocked as he pushed the fabric down Jim's thighs.

Jim did not look at the mirror this time, as he was starting to realise that this was different from filming. He wasn't playing a part. Not really. His erection was not a conscious choice but his body's irrepressible reaction to Sebastian and the things he was doing.

And the people watching weren't the crew, focused on lighting and angles. These were randy strangers getting off on it. He tried not to imagine them behind the mirror. Leering. Touching themselves. It was disgusting and terrifying. He hadn't felt this exposed since the first time Sherlock undressed him for the camera. Or this cheap since Sherlock dumped him.

He glanced back at Sebastian, wanting to tell him to stop. But the look in Sebastian's eyes... So full of want and affection. And most of all lust. They weren't doing this for the peeping pervs. This was about them. Him and Sebastian. A game of how far they would go for each other. And when it came to pleasing Sebastian, to making him proud, there was very little Jim wouldn't do. So he smiled, letting Sebastian know he was ready for more.

Sebastian pressed a kiss to his back and then made him step out of the jeans. He stroked Jim's cock a few times through his pants, and then stripped them off too.

"You're so beautiful. You've really earned a treat, don't you think?"

"If... If you think so," Jim moaned.

"Hmm, yes. Spread your legs." Sebastian stepped back and a moment later something large and slick pushed between Jim's arse cheeks.

Jim gasped. "Fuck, yes. Thank you." He felt his cock twitch and start to leak. And he did not care if the pervs could see.

"You're welcome." Sebastian chuckled and slowly pushed the toy further in, often pausing and twisting it a little, while gently manoeuvring Jim so their audience could see what was going on from the side. Then, without any warning, he pressed the button and the toy started buzzing.

Jim yelped and almost jumped. Oh god. If this continued, he'd come if Sebastian as much as breathed on his cock.

After a moment, Sebastian began moving the vibrator, thrusting it slowly. Jim had to bite his lip not to cry out everytime the tip slid over his prostate but he did not doubt Sebastian knew exactly what it did to him. He held him on the brink of climax for so long that when Sebastian finally stopped moving the vibrator and turned the speed down gradually, Jim almost burst into tears. Whether from relief or frustration he couldn't quite tell. He was trembling and sweating and if the chains hadn't held him up, he would have collapsed in a gasping heap on the floor.

"Gorgeous," Sebastian purred, kissing his shoulder as he slowly pulled out the toy. "You're being so, so good for me."

Jim hoped anybody watching was too busy staring at his naked body to notice his stupid grin at the praise. "Do I... Do I get a reward?" he asked, aiming for playfully cocky.

"Of course." Sebastian pressed another kiss to his shoulder and then pulled the vibrator out the last bit. He put it down, walked in front of Jim and pulled his shirt off, then unbuttoned his trousers and slowly pushed them down, angled a little towards the mirror.

Jim enjoyed the view, still grinning. Whatever Sebastian was planning, he was surely going to enjoy it. A lot.

After stepping out of his jeans and pants, Sebastian admired himself for a moment before turning back to Jim. With a tug on the collar he brought him closer for a hard, messy kiss.

Jim could not resist using the opportunity to press himself up against Sebastian, getting as much contact with that gorgeous body as he possibly could.

Sebastian smiled and pulled him back by the collar. "Not like this, pet."

He let go of him and got to his knees, giving himself a few strokes before he looked up.

Jim realised he was gaping down at Sebastian and quickly closed his mouth. He had not been expecting that. Surely that wasn't how these things usually went.

Grinning devilishly, Sebastian put his hands on the backs of Jim's thighs and pulled him forward. Then he licked a stripe up the length of Jim's cock, making him shiver.

"How's that for a reward?" His right hand wandered up and he pushed two fingers into Jim.

Jim whined and nodded, having forgotten, for the moment, how to speak.

Sebastian quirked an eyebrow and stilled his fingers. "That's not an answer to my question."

"Uh..." Jim groaned. "I... Yes..." He had forgotten the question.

"How's that?" Sebastian repeated clearly.

"Yes!" It was almost a scream. What did Sebastian expect, getting him worked up like this? There was no way he was getting anything sensible out of him. Jim giggled hysterically.

"I'll just interpret that as 'good', shall I?" Sebastian said, amused. He started thrusting his fingers and swallowed Jim's cock.

It didn't take long before Jim was close to the edge again, desperately rattling the chains as he fucked Sebastian's mouth while grinding down on his fingers. Finally he couldn't hold back any longer, but just then Sebastian pulled off, making Jim's come land on his lips and cheek.

The sight was almost too much for Jim and, completely spent, he felt his knees buckling, whimpering as pain shot through his shoulders and wrists.

Licking his lips, Sebastian got to his feet and wrapped his arms around Jim, holding him up. "Think they're liking the show?" he whispered.

"I hope so," Jim gasped. "Considering that they'd usually have to pay to watch us at it." He rested his head against Sebastian while trying to catch his breath.

"Nothing beats a live performance," Sebastian murmured against his hair. "How many of them will have had a wank? How many do you think are sucking each other off behind that mirror? How many have gone off to another room to fuck?"

Jim shivered at the thought. "You... You don't think any of them are... are fucking right there?" he asked, trying to grin.

"It would be against the rules in the corridor, but I suppose that might not stop them if we've made them really needy." Sebastian chuckled and tilted Jim's head back to kiss him.

Jim met his lips eagerly, his whole body still tingling from the climax. "So..." he muttered between licks and nips. "Are you going to fuck me? Or are we saving that for when we get home?"

Sebastian rubbed his erection against Jim's thigh. "I'm going to fuck you. Just giving you a moment to catch your breath. I wonder if our viewers have the patience to wait for our next round..."

"I'm good..." Jim panted. "You don't have to wait." Having Sebastian take him like this, chained, collared and on display was just about the hottest thing he could imagine and, incredibly, he felt his cock twitch again.

Sebastian laughed and stepped back, rubbing circles around Jim's left nipple with his thumb. "I'll want you to come before me, so I think we'll have to play a bit before we get to that."

Jim whined. "But Sebastian... I want you now... I don't want to wait."

"You'll have to," Sebastian said, rubbing his other nipple too. "You've been very good, but that doesn't mean you should forget why you're chained up like this."

"And why am I chained up?" Jim asked, flashing his most innocent grin. "Surely it must be so you can use me. So do it. Use me. Take me."

"Of course I'll do all that," Sebastian said, applying just a bit more pressure. "But you don't decide when."

"Fine!" Jim huffed. "I'll just hang here and wait for you, shall I?"

"That's the general idea, yeah." Sebastian laughed and kissed him again. "I'll make it worth your time… But first I should get cleaned up a bit." He offered Jim his cheek, which was still covered in white streaks, where they hadn't been smeared into Jim's hair or smudged while they were snogging. "Go on, Kitten..."

Jim hesitated. He loved giving Sebastian head and he didn't mind swallowing at all. But this was different. This was from himself. "No..." he gasped, pulling as far back as he could. "I can't..."

Sebastian gave him a look. "You won't obey?"

Jim smiled sheepishly. "Please don't insist," he whispered. "I... I don't think I can do that."

"Fine," Sebastian said, his gaze softening for a moment. "But you'll understand I'll have to punish you again, right?" He kept holding Jim's eyes.

"Yeah, I know," Jim muttered. "You can't lose face in front of the pervs. So what are you going to do? Whip me some more?"

Sebastian frowned. "Should we... Should we stop?"

Jim considered. He'd been enjoying things so far. But having to tell Sebastian no had kind of ruined the mood. And even though it wasn't a big thing, it was the first time Sebastian had told him to do something he didn't want to do. It felt important. Like something they should talk about. So Jim nodded. "I think so," he said. "I think I'd like to go home." He smiled to show Sebastian that he was okay.

"Of course." Sebastian kissed his cheek and then reached up to unchain his wrists.

Jim’s shoulders ached when he lowered his arms, but he stayed in place, waiting for Sebastian to unhook the collar. Then he gave him a long soft kiss before he turned away to gather his clothes.

Sebastian also got dressed and then hovered by his side. "Do you want a hug? Or would you rather I don't touch you for a bit?"

Jim almost flinched at the question. "No!" he said quickly. "I want you to hug me. Hold me. I don't want you to let go of me." He held his arms out to Sebastian, then added: "We're going home together. Right?"

"Yes." Sebastian looked relieved as he stepped in and pulled him close. "I just feared I'd gone too far... It's fine if you do need space."

"I need to get you to some water and clean your face," Jim said, giggling. "And then I want you to take me home and... and finish this."

Sebastian hummed. "I'd love to. Though... Are you sure about the water? Maybe I like to be marked too..." He trailed the outline of the burn under Jim's shirt with a light fingertip.

Jim grinned. "Then I'll mark you again when we get home. You can't ride a cab like that."

Jim didn't realise he'd forgotten about the mirror before they opened the door and was met by a small, breathless crowd of both men and women all eager to tell them just how hot they had been. Most of them knew who Sebastian was, of course, but their jaws dropped when they heard what Jim did for a living.

"Bonding," Jim heard Sebastian say. "And we've got another one on the way, Sensation. Better keep an eye on UMQRA to see what we're up to."

Jim knew the publicity was great for them, but right now he just wanted to be alone with Sebastian. He tugged on his hand and, getting the message, Sebastian waved at everybody and then led Jim off to the bathroom.

Chapter Text

Jim snuggled in Sebastian’s arms all the way home and once they were inside his flat, he pulled him down for a long, tender kiss. “Thank you,” he whispered when they broke apart. “I had a great night. I really did. I just… I guess I learned some things about myself too.”

Sebastian cupped his cheek in his hand and kissed him again. “It’s fine. You never have to apologise for stopping me. I just wish I hadn’t made you uncomfortable asking that of you.”

“You didn’t really,” Jim said. “I knew you wouldn’t force me. It was just a shame that you… lost face in front of all those people. That can’t have been easy for you.”

Sebastian frowned. “I really couldn’t care less about that. I don’t even see it that way, actually. I mean… My sub said stop and I stopped. No one’s going to think I’m a bad Dom for that.”

“But I didn’t obey you,” Jim said, frowning too. “I thought that was the whole point. That you were supposed to know me so well that you wouldn't ask anything of me I didn’t want to do…” It almost sounded like an accusation, but that was not how he felt. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he had failed Sebastian somehow.

Gently, Sebastian took his elbow and led him to the sofa. “No one can read their partner’s mind, you know. Even couples who’ve been doing this stuff for years sometimes end up safewording. It’s about both of us enjoying it, not about meeting any kind of standard.”

That one took some swallowing as Jim realised that for him, sex had always been about the standards. The performance. But even with an audience at the club, it wasn’t the same as being in front of the camera. He wasn’t selling or even proving anything. It was just about experiencing what was happening. About both of them having a good time. “I see....” he muttered, not sure he’d ever be ready to put those thoughts into words.

Sebastian put an arm around him and pulled him close. “You know, it might help if we make a list of our limits. I mean, not right now. You’ll want to think it over. But if there’s stuff that you want me to know you’ll never want to do… like earlier… We could avoid situations like that.”

“That makes sense,” Jim said, already starting the list in his mind. “I don’t really know anything about what you don’t like. I kinda feel it’s all been about me until now. About you finding out what I like. And what I might like.”

“Well… I was in charge,” Sebastian said. “It’s not like I’d have asked something of you that I didn’t like.”

“Yeah… But you didn’t exactly get what you wanted. Like the puppy-stuff.” Jim cringed at the memory. He’d failed Sebastian so many times.

“And I got something much better instead.” Sebastian smiled. “I should have realised right away that you’re much more the cat type. And anyway… It’s all about what we both want. I think my hardest limit is making you uncomfortable. Feeling bad after we’re done. So… What you want really matters most.”

Jim nodded slowly, trying to take it all in. It was a whole new way of thinking for him. In some ways it was a bit like it had been with him and Sherlock. But reversed, since Jim had been worrying more about what Sherlock wanted than his own needs. But it was also completely different. Because with Sherlock, Jim had never really gotten anything in return and with Sebastian, giving Jim what he wanted was the… the whole point?

Sebastian kissed him gently. “Do you want to take a shower? Or just go to bed?”

“A shower sounds nice. If you’ll let me scrub your back.” Jim giggled and nuzzled Sebastian’s cheek.

It proved to be rather difficult scrubbing Sebastian’s back, mostly because they just couldn’t stop kissing for more than a few seconds at a time.

When the hot water was all used up, Sebastian wrapped Jim in his largest towel and carried him to bed, where he snuggled up behind him and treated him to a slow but very hot shag. Jim was so exhausted when they were done, that he hardly noticed Sebastian pulling out of him before he drifted off.

 …

“Jim? Jim, wake up. I’ve got an idea!”

Jim groaned and tried to roll over, but Sebastian still had an arm around him. “What…?” he muttered, yawning.

“For a film, Jim! You and a couple of guys. I could be one of them. Do you think you could do that?”

Jim frowned, blinking a few times as he tried to figure out if he really was awake or this was just another part of the night’s confusing dreams. Then, as his mind cleared, he smiled. “I suppose I could, but… I might want to try it first. To be sure…”

“You do?” Sebastian moved behind him and a moment later Jim was on his back, his boyfriend hovering over him. “It would be so hot. So fucking hot.”

“You think so?” Jim blinked innocently up at him. “You… You wouldn’t be jealous?”

“No need if I’m there too, right? To see them use you. And to play with you myself.” Sebastian moaned and brushed his erection against Jim’s thigh. “I was dreaming about it…”

“Oh…” Jim giggled, and pushed up against him, teasingly. “Was it a good dream?”

Sebastian cursed, rubbing against him more urgently. “Yeah. You were with Pete and Ronald and… you were so beautiful…”

"As opposed to how I really looked with them?" Jim knew his sleepy glare would not be convincing but he gave it a go anyway.

"No... You were. Yesterday. Leaving a lasting impression." Sebastian shivered, looking down at Jim. "Please..."

"Please what, darling?" Jim gave up and grinned. "You wanna take me back to that club? Get a private room and tie me up so your friends can have a real go at me?"

Whimpering, Sebastian sat back and started stroking his cock fast. "Yes... Jim..." he panted.

"Are you going to join them?" Jim asked, licking his lips. "Or just watch as they fuck me? At both ends?"

"I actually pictured you standing between them, so they couldn't fuck you at both ends. One of them had to make you fuck his mouth. But you couldn't come. You had to wait for me. And I'd only fuck you when it was my turn." Sebastian's breathing was ragged now, his hand tightening and speeding up even more.

Jim giggled. "Yeah? You think you could wait?"

"Then... Yes. Now? No way..." He groaned and arched his back, fucking his own hand.

"Sure you can," Jim said, catching Sebastian's eyes. "Last night was wonderful, but right now, I want you to bend me over and fuck me hard. Claim me." He licked his lips again.

Sebastian made a high, undignified sound, looking desperate. But he stilled his hand at the base of his cock, gripping himself tightly. "I... I won't last," he said, leaning away from Jim as though he were afraid to touch his skin.

"Not even for me?" Jim squirmed a little under him. "Are you going to leave me unsatisfied? Is that the thanks I get for agreeing to let your friends fuck me?"

"Fuck," Sebastian breathed. "I'll... I'll need a moment..." He bit his lip hard and closed his eyes.

"Take all the time you need." Jim had never felt so in control. So powerful. And he loved it.

Sebastian made a few more small sounds but eventually let go of his cock and then opened his eyes. "Turn... Turn around."

Jim squirmed and wriggled, almost getting himself tangled in the sheets in his eagerness to get his arse in the air for Sebastian. Watching him like that had been so fucking hot he'd barely been able to hold himself back. And now he was aching to be filled. Taken.

Sebastian feverishly pumped some lube onto his fingers and pushed two of them in, testing.

"I'm ready," Jim whined, clenching around Sebastian's fingers. "You did a good job last night. Just... Do it!"

He didn't need to tell Sebastian twice. He pulled out his fingers and then immediately sank into him, groaning loudly.

"Fuck yes!" Jim cried, trying to push up against him.

Sebastian started thrusting hard and fast. "You're so tight..." he gasped. "I bet you wouldn't be like that after... them..."

"But you'll... still... want me..." Jim moaned into the bed. He gave up all notions of dignity and howled out his pleasure as Sebastian kept pounding into him.

It didn’t last long. Jim almost screamed in frustration as he felt Sebastian come. He wanted more. But he supposed he’d have to wait. If Sebastian really was going to share him with a friend or two, he suspected he’d get as much fucking as he could handle. And then some.

Whining, he pushed back at Sebastian, trying to make room to get his hand on his own aching erection.

“Let me,” Sebastian growled, reaching around Jim to grab his cock, but he seemed more intent on nuzzling Jim's neck than on getting him off.

“Tighter!” Jim gasped, pushing into Sebastian’s slack hand. “Come on. Please…”

Sebastian groaned, but he did grip him more firmly and started moving faster.

Jim closed his eyes, imagining himself surrounded by large, eager bodies. Hands touching him all over. Cocks sliding against him. Inside him.

“Fuck!” He trembled as he came, making quite a mess in his bed and really not caring. “We… We are doing it… Soon…” He panted as he collapsed, trapping Sebastian’s hand under him.

Sebastian moaned and tugged a bit on him until they were lying on their sides, Jim squeezed against his chest. “Thank you,” he panted. “I really… I really want to do that. You are so…”

“Naughty?” Jim giggled. “Hot? Or just desperate?”

“Perfect.” Sebastian kissed his neck and tightened his grip even more.

Jim gasped. “Perfectly dead…” he whined. “If you don’t let me breathe."

Sebastian loosened his hold on Jim and they just lay there for a long time, sweaty and exhausted but gloriously content. Jim tried not to think too much. No need to ruin such a perfect moment.

Chapter Text

The small office was empty and mostly dark. A single beam of light slanted in from a lamppost outside the window, where snow was falling lightly. Faint music and laughter could be heard coming from beyond the closed door. On the desk was a keyboard and a monitor, the latter draped in a rather sorry-looking Christmas garland. From the dark lamp above the table hung a sprig of plastic mistletoe.

Suddenly, light and sound flooded the room as the door was flung open. Two men hurried inside, closed the door and then embraced each other, kissing passionately. Both were tall and muscular, one of them bald and tan, the other pale with dark hair that quickly became quite messy as the other man kept running his fingers through it. They were dressed smartly in suits and ties, but the clothes came off quickly as they made their way to the desk, pushing stuff aside to make room for a rather vigorous round of shagging.

They had barely managed to get their clothes back on before the door was opened by another couple, looking rather sheepish that they weren’t the first to get the idea. But after a couple of winks and teasing remarks, they were left alone in the room and got down to it, focusing more on using the chair than the table. One of them had tattoos over most of his body and knew how to make it look good.

After them, three people, two men and a woman, stumbled in, proceeding to demonstrate practically every sexual combination possible in very rapid succession.

Afterwards two new men came in and snogged for a bit before one of them dropped to his knees to give the other one a blowjob. Just as they finished, the door opened again and the two scrambled out as a rather stern but beautiful woman entered with a slightly younger woman at her heels.

She sat down and ordered her assistant to clean up the mess left by the previous couples. But the situation soon turned heated as the orders became more specific, including the young woman getting on her knees and removing her bra from under her white, sheer shirt. Eventually she ended up bent over the table, her skirt up around her hips while her boss spanked her with a long ruler. Afterwards there was a lot of kissing and touching and they finished up in a very passionate 69 on the desk before returning to the party.

After a brief pause, two men snuck in. One of them was very tall and broad across the shoulders, making the other look tiny by comparison. They kissed and then shagged with such enthusiasm that the office was in shambles by the time they were done. The credits rolled as they got dressed, kissed again and then returned to the party where they were met by the cheers and laughter of their colleagues.

…

“Why do the girls get to play those games?” Sebastian crossed his arms and glowered at Angelo. “It’s just not fair. Every time we suggest something like that, you’re like: ‘oh no, our viewers are so vanilla, they’ll get nightmares!’. And now they come in and they can get at it right away!”

“Yeah, well, that’s the ugly world we live in, darling,” the short woman in the large black robe said, laughing as she settled on the corner of Angelo’s desk. “Men really like watching women do stuff like that to each other. Even some of the men who wouldn’t really want to get involved with an actual woman. We’re aiming for a mixed audience with the Christmas Special. You know that. That’s why you suggested I join.”

“Yeah, I’m not saying you shouldn’t be acting these scenes, Irene,” Sebastian said. “I’m only saying that we should get the chance too!”

Jim cleared his throat. “You say we…” he began but was cut off by Irene’s laughter.

“See, Sebby?” she said. “I had the distinct advantage of bringing along a partner who actually likes getting her bottom smacked. I think you should have a long talk with James before you try to sign up for something like this.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Not that scene exactly. You know I specialise in other stuff than you.”

“The bondage?” Angelo asked, raising an eyebrow. “We’ve already done that. If we show you two in the same situation over and over, nobody is going to buy it.”

“Besides, Sebby-love,” Irene teased. “Don’t you even for a second think that you can fool me. You are dying to get lover-boy here across your knee. And I can’t say I blame you. He does have the most adorably spankable bum I’ve seen in a long time. On a bloke, that is.”

Jim felt his face turn bright red and took a step back, almost hiding behind Sebastian. That woman was terrifying.

Sebastian shrugged. “Fair point. But Angelo wouldn’t let us, so…”

“Angelo won’t let us?!” Jim cried, pushing Sebastian around so he could glare up at him. “How about asking me first? Do you think I’ll just let you live out all your filthy fantasies on my body as long as it’s for a film? Well, fuck you!!!”

“No… Of course not…”

But Jim didn’t wait for what Sebastian had to say before turning around and storming out.

The last thing he heard was a delighted: “Whoops,” from Irene followed by her high, piercing laugh.

…

Still fuming as well as blushing, Jim made his way down to one of the smaller stages where they’d just finished taking down a set. The cleaning crew hadn’t been here yet, so the large room was empty. Just what he needed.

A few pieces of furniture had been left behind and he let himself sink down in a large, soft armchair - after checking for stains - then pulled his legs up in front of him and sulked.

How dared he? Sebastian knew Jim wasn’t into all that. He’d played along at the club with that flogger because it didn’t really hurt. But he’d watched as Irene and Zoey did that scene and he’d heard the sounds that ruler was making. That had bloody hurt. And the stripes on Zoey’s skin afterwards… They had begun to bruise by the time she walked off the stage, turning black and blue. No way was he going to let Sebastian do something like that to him. Ever.

And to hear Sebastian talking about it as if it was just a matter of getting Angelo to approve... That Jim’s bum was his to use as he wanted… Jim had never been so angry in his life. Not even at Sherlock. Because Sherlock had been using him the whole time. That’s what he did.

But Sebastian was supposed to care about Jim. Supposed to care for him. Or had it all just been a load of crap?

“Jim…?” Sebastian slowly walked towards him, as if he feared Jim might explode again. Or run.

“Go away…”

“If… If that’s what you want.” Sebastian swallowed. “I just wanted to say sorry…”

“Yeah? For what?” Jim glared at him.

“What just happened. I didn’t mean…” He sighed. “Can I explain? Or should I leave you alone for now?”

“I don’t know,” Jim sneered. “Can you explain?” He doubted it would make any difference, but he still felt like he needed to hear what excuse Sebastian could come up with for this.

Sebastian shrugged and stepped closer. “It’s just… I’ve known Irene for a couple of years. She’s starting her own business now, but she used to work at the club now and then. And she’s one of those Doms… You just end up boasting to each other, you know? Tell each other what you managed to make your subs do, without naming names, but…”

“Your subs?” Jim almost jumped out of the chair but managed to hold himself back. “I’m not your sub! Is that what you think of me?”

“No…” Sebastian sighed. “Not in… in the real world. Not when it’s the two of us. But when we’re playing our roles…”

“No,” Jim said. “That’s not our roles. That’s not all we do. I’m an actor. I’m not just your prop. I had a career before you and I can have one after you.”

“I know that.” Sebastian reached out but seemed to think better of it. “I just… We get carried away. That’s all. It’s all talking big and being the biggest baddest Dom and… I shouldn’t have involved you in that. I don’t want you to think that that’s how I see you.”

Jim bit his lip, looking down. “That’s how they see me,” he muttered. “Irene… Zoey… Even Angelo.”

“I think they also know better,” Sebastian said. “It’s just the roles they’ve seen you in lately. But everyone who’s seen your work knows you can do more than that.”

“Everyone? Not a lot of people, then. You know hardly anybody noticed me in those other films. I was just a prop for Sherlock too.” Jim sniffed and hid his face in his arms.

Sebastian lightly put his hand on Jim’s shoulder. Jim wanted to push it away, but he also wanted Sebastian to hold him. Because Sebastian did care about him. He wasn’t mean on purpose. He was just an idiot. Sometimes.

“Can I hug you?” Sebastian whispered.

Jim nodded and sniffed again. “Please…”

Sitting on the chair’s armrest, Sebastian leaned in and wrapped his arms around him. “I’m sorry I made you feel like this, Jim.” He kissed his hair.

…

They avoided Irene for the rest of the day and in the evening Sebastian invited Jim to his place to make up for his blunder with dinner. It felt good being back there, even though the last time had been so awkward. Jim actually laughed at himself. Had he really avoided Sebastian’s apartment just because of that stupid tail-thing? Was he really that vain?

While they were eating, Sebastian shifted on his chair a few times, before finally saying: “I’ve been thinking.”

“Really?” Jim gave him his best surprised look. “Wow…”

Sebastian huffed and kicked him under the table. “Very funny.”

“Yes.” Jim grinned. “I think it was.”

“So do you want to know what I was thinking or will you just continue to bask in the glory of how hilarious you are?” Sebastian asked.

“Oh… You wanted to say something?” Jim cocked his head, smiling sweetly. “I thought you were just bragging.”

“I guess it wouldn’t be the first time.” Sebastian frowned. “What you said earlier… about people only ever seeing you play a sub in films. I was thinking it doesn’t have to be like that.”

“No? You want to start doing normal films? Like everybody else? Or are you considering bringing in another sub for you to play with?” Jim looked down at his plate, wondering what had happened to his appetite.

“What? No, none of that!” Sebastian sounded horrified. “I want you. I want to work with you.”

“Then what do you suggest?” Jim looked up at him.

Sebastian took a deep breath before he answered. “You could be the Dom. My Dom.”

Jim almost choked. “Wh… What?” he gasped. “No…!”

“Why not?” Sebastian shrugged. “It would be different. And you’d never have to think again that they only see you as a sub.”

Jim hesitated. “Do you really think I could do that? That I could… could dominate you?”

“I suppose we’d need to practise a bit more than usual for a film like that,” Sebastian said. “But yeah… You’re a great actor and I definitely wouldn’t mind trying it. So why not?”

“I guess…” Jim wasn’t exactly thrilled about the idea, but Sebastian was right. He was getting locked into a specific kind of role now and this might be the only way out of it.

“We don’t have to try it tonight or anything,” Sebastian said. “I get that you may need some time to mentally prepare. But we could pick some toys you can use on me. Get in the mood a bit, you know. So you have a more specific basis to work from.”

"Tonight?" Jim had hoped they could just snuggle and relax. But Sebastian seemed so eager, so he nodded. "Okay."

Chapter Text

Stepping into Sebastian's bedroom felt like the first time. Back then he had been nervous about what Sebastian was planning on doing to him. This time he was downright terrified about what he was going to do to Sebastian. If he even could.

He tried picturing himself tying Sebastian up. Standing over him and giving orders. It didn't feel sexy at all. Just ridiculous.

As he approached the closets, he glanced back at Sebastian. "Can... Can you tell me a bit about what you like? And don't like?"

"Of course." Sebastian smiled. "We were going to have that talk about limits anyway, right? Now's as good a time as any."

Jim nodded. He wasn't exactly eager to have this conversation, but at least it would put off the other stuff. Maybe it would take so long that they'd have to wait until another day. He gestured towards the bed. "Let's sit down. I suspect this could take some time."

"Oh, my list isn't exactly long," Sebastian said, but he sat down anyway. "I think I only have one really hard limit."

Jim raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Do tell."

Sebastian scrunched up his nose. "Even just saying it puts me off. But well... Some people think it's hot to have people piss on them. Or to do that to their partners. That's just... The thought alone is disgusting to me. So no pissing, shitting or vomiting in any sexual context."

Jim couldn't help but laugh. "Don't worry, darling. That is something I would never do. To you or anybody else. Sex can be dirty. It should never ever be gross."

"Thank you." Sebastian grimaced again but then seemed to shake off the thought. "The next one is more like a soft limit. Thing is, I'm not bottoming a lot. So I'd like if you don't try using giant plugs on me. If we work up to it I'm not against it, really, but I just... It would just lead to frustration if I can't take it, you know? So it's better to warn you about that."

"Sure," Jim said. To be honest, he didn't particularly feel like putting anything like that inside Sebastian. "I'll be gentle with you." He leaned in to kiss Sebastian's cheek.

"Well, I didn't ask that." Sebastian grinned. "Your turn."

"I hardly know where to start," Jim admitted. "I guess... No blood. No cutting or hitting me so hard you break skin. And... No bruising. In fact... No pain... At all..."

Sebastian frowned. "What about light pain? Biting and light floggers? I mean, we already did those things... Did I cross a boundary there?"

"Oh... I guess not..." Jim huffed, not sure how to explain it. "I mean, the floggers didn't really hurt. And the biting is like part of the... passion... But pain just for... pain..." He sighed. "Just don't... Don't hit me, okay?"

"Okay." Sebastian nodded earnestly. "No punching, spanking or any of that."

"Or cutting!" Jim added quickly. "I... I don't think it's sexy. It just hurts." He looked down at his hands, wondering how many limits he could name before it would become obvious that he wasn't really into any of this. "Chains are fine," he said quickly. "Like the ones at the club. But the time you tied my arms in that awkward position... I'd rather not do something like that again."

"Alright. I'm fine with being tied up for you, by the way. Splayed out, on my knees, on my stomach... Any way you like."

Jim tried to smile. How was he supposed to tie up Sebastian? He had no idea how all those fancy knots worked or what was supposed to go where. "No surprises," he continued. "I mean... You know so much more about all this than I do, so there's probably tons of stuff I've never heard of... Don't do or use anything before telling me about it first. Is... Is that okay?"

"Of course. We'll always go through the toys and stuff before we start. And I'll try not to startle you."

"Thank you." Jim leaned on Sebastian, smiling. "Then I think that's all. For now, anyway."

"Okay." Sebastian kissed his hair. "Any idea yet what you'll want to do with me?" He gestured at the closet.

"Honestly?" Jim said, giggling a little. "I haven't got a clue. I'm sort of tempted to put the dog's tail on you. But not because I'd find it hot. I just want to even the score."

Sebastian snorted. "There is no 'score'. We may play games, but there's never a winner. It's not a competition. Unless in who can give the other the most pleasure."

"I know that." Jim looked over at the closet again. "I really don't know what to do. I don't want to hit you, so all those whips and stuff are out. And as for the cuffs and things... If I fixate you, then I'm really on my own. And I don't want that. You said you weren't too keen on the plugs and I don’t have any particular desire to use them on you, so..." He swallowed hard and looked up at Sebastian. "Can't you tell me what to do? What you would like?"

Sebastian looked thoughtful. "If you imagine us together. Just when you're alone in your bed fantasising. What do you picture us doing?"

"Well..." Jim took Sebastian's hand. "I usually picture you being all strong and demanding and just using me for your pleasure... Not very dominant, huh?"

Sebastian smiled. "Not really."

Jim was about to suggest that they just give it up for the night when he got an idea. "Oh... There may be something..." He jumped up and went over to the closet, looking through the toys. He glanced back at Sebastian. "Are you very fond of that shirt?"

"Uhm... Not particularly, I guess?" Sebastian looked down at his shirt, a little puzzled.

"Perfect..." Jim giggled as he picked a pair of handcuffs. "Before I put these on you, you better tell me where the key is..." He approached Sebastian slowly, trying to see him not as his strong and powerful lover, but as his little toy. It wasn't easy, but he focused on his idea and managed what he hoped was a slightly predatory smile.

Sebastian's pupils widened and he licked his lips. "It's... It's in the drawer below," he said hoarsely.

"Good." Jim stopped just in front of him. "Now I want you to be a good boy and get on the bed. Just lie down and make yourself comfortable. Very comfortable. You'll be there for a while."

Sebastian swallowed. "Of course. Sir." He lay down on his back and didn't move.

Jim got up to kneel on the bed next to Sebastian so that he could take his arms, and raised them above his head to secure them to the headboard. He bent down to give him a kiss. "Don't go anywhere. I'll be back... Eventually..." He giggled, jumping off the bed again.

Sebastian's eyebrows rose, but he didn't reply.

When Jim returned, he had taken off his shirt and hidden the few items he had chosen inside it. "You don't mind surprises, do you?" he asked, kneeling on the bed again.

"Definitely not, sir," Sebastian said. "I'm really curious what you came up with, though."

Jim cocked his head. "Could you not call me that?" he asked, picking up a black blindfold. "It makes me feel... Like I'm a little kid pretending to be a big man..."

"Sorry. I thought I was supposed to. Any other kind of title you like, or shall we just leave all that?"

"Leave it," Jim said, putting the blindfold on him. "Is this okay?"

"Yep," Sebastian said. "You just reminded me of something else I don't like, by the way. When you were talking about feeling like a big kid."

"No diapers?" Jim asked, trying not to laugh.

Sebastian snorted. "Okay, that too. But just... No 'daddies', okay? I used to get that sometimes at the club and I absolutely hate it. If you'd known my dad you'd know why."

Jim nodded, then remembered Sebastian couldn't see. "Got it," he said. "I guess we'll just find our own names for each other." He bent down and kissed Sebastian. "Ready?"

Sebastian smiled. "Definitely."

"Then I'll ask you not to speak. Unless I'm doing something you don't like."

Sebastian nodded.

Jim sat back, taking his time just studying Sebastian. The handcuffs and the blindfold looked so strange on him. Not wrong, just… strange…

Jim got off the bed and stripped off the rest of his clothes. Then he unfolded his shirt and got out the first item. As he knelt next to Sebastian, he leaned down to whisper in his ear:

“Hold completely still, darling. I don’t want to hurt you.”

He grabbed a handful of Sebastian’s shirt and carefully sliced it open with the knife he had gotten from the kitchen. It was fairly small, but wickedly sharp and Jim had to bite his lip to keep his hands from shaking as he slowly cut Sebastian’s shirt into thin ribbons and then, using the tip of the knife, pushed the fabric away, baring his chest.

“Beautiful,” he whispered and leaned down to kiss one nipple and then the other.

He allowed himself a minute or so to play with Sebastian’s chest hair, then shifted down on the bed so that he could unbutton Sebastian’s jeans. “Lift your bum, darling,” he said, taking hold of the waistband.

Sebastian silently complied.

As Jim pulled down Sebastian’s jeans, he let his fingertips brush over the skin so lightly it was bound to tickle, but the only reaction was a huff of breath.

“Impressive.” Jim suppressed a giggle as he dumped the jeans on the floor and bent down to kiss Sebastian’s thigh. “Spread them.” As Sebastian obeyed, he moved down to nibble on the softer skin, working his way up and stopping just before reaching his boxers.

“Oh no, Sebastian,” he said teasingly. “That doesn’t look very comfortable. Surely they are much too tight right now… Let me take care of that.” He reached for the knife.

Sebastian swallowed audibly and kept very still.

“Good boy.” Jim patted his thigh before getting to work. He kept to the sides, lifting up the fabric as far as he could get it from Sebastian’s skin before cutting it away. He was holding his breath and felt close to tears by the time he was done. He had done a good job. The boxers were, of course, ruined, but the blade had never touched Sebastian, who had lain completely still, his erection, if possible, growing even larger while Jim was cutting.

“Oh, you like that?” Jim laughed. “Well, let’s hope you like this next bit.” He had been practising and waiting for just the right time to show Sebastian. This was it.

He wrapped his hand around the base of Sebastian’s cock, steadying it before leaning in and taking it into his mouth. He breathed deeply through his nose a couple of times and then sucked him in slowly, not stopping before the tip was almost an inch into his throat.

Sebastian moaned loudly. “J… Jim…”

He should probably correct him for speaking, but it was kind of difficult right now, so Jim just gave Sebastian’s hip a light tap and then focused on swallowing around his cock before pulling back, just enough to catch his breath and then going down again.

He kept it up as long as he could, then pulled back and focused on sucking and licking, using his hand as much as his mouth to bring Sebastian to the very brink of orgasm. When he sensed he was almost there, he tightened his grip around the base and sat up. “Don’t you dare come before I tell you to,” he snapped, watching Sebastian’s face to see if he approved.

His mouth was a little open and he threw his head back, panting.

“Good boy,” Jim said again. He held on until he was sure Sebastian was not going to come yet, then let go. Remembering the time he himself lay cuffed on this bed, he picked up the bottle of water he had brought and moved up the bed so that he could lift Sebastian’s head and let him drink.

He was tempted to just move on to the last part, but that would be letting Sebastian off too easily.

So he got the next item out of his shirt. The plug was small, as Sebastian had requested, but, as Sebastian discovered as soon as Jim had worked it in, it vibrated. He almost laughed at Sebastian’s reaction but covered his mouth and backed away from the bed. Let him enjoy that for a while. Jim had to get ready for the final treat.

“Jim… Jim, please… Fuck…”

“Shush,” Jim called from across the room. “Just relax, darling. I’m not done with you.” He watched Sebastian squirm, but finally took pity on him and returned to the bed. “Legs together now,” he ordered. “If you can.”

Sebastian was sweating and trembling and he groaned when Jim grabbed his cock, giving it a few slow strokes spreading a generous amount of lube on it. Then he straddled him and finally sank down, taking his cock into him in one smooth movement.

“Fuck…” Jim panted. No matter how well he prepared, Sebastian always stretched him right to his limit.

“Jim,” Sebastian whined, already thrusting up desperately.

Jim slapped his side. “Don’t move.” He needed a moment to relax. And besides, he wasn’t going to let Sebastian come too quickly. He was going to enjoy this.

He began moving slowly, lifting himself almost off Sebastian before sinking down again. It felt so good and he let out one of those moans that usually drove Sebastian crazy. “You can talk now…” he breathed. “In fact… I want you to tell me how it feels… How you feel…”

“Hngmmm,” Sebastian whimpered.

“I’m sorry,” Jim said, pausing his rhythm. “I didn’t quite catch that. Try again.”

“Good!” Sebastian panted. “You feel… amazing… You’re so fucking hot and I… need…”

“Not yet,” Jim said, giving him another light slap. “You don’t get to come before me, understood?”

Sebastian groaned and threw his head back again.

Jim resumed the slow movements, but watching Sebastian suffer like this was too much and soon he sped up, grabbing his own cock and stroking it in time to his rhythm. It didn’t take long and as he spilled over his hand and onto Sebastian’s stomach, he felt him tense beneath him and then come with a loud gasp.

Jim collapsed on Sebastian’s chest and for a while they both lay panting. Then he reached up to remove the blindfold. “How did I do?”

Sebastian made another unintelligible sound, but as he slowly blinked his eyes open he smiled. “That was so fucking amazing… But uhm...”

“But?” Jim sat up. “What’s wrong? What did I do?”

“Uh, could you get that toy out? It’s getting a bit… much…”

"Fuck... Sorry..." Jim scrambled off Sebastian. "Can you roll onto your side? I think that will be easiest." How could he have forgotten about that? Was he such a horrible Dom that he really only cared about his own comfort?

"'kay." Sebastian shifted and pulled up one of his legs.

Jim turned off the plug before gently easing it out. Then he nudged Sebastian onto his stomach and bent down to kiss and lick the hole.

Sebastian moaned. "Are you trying to get me ready for another go?"

Jim sat up. "I'm trying to make it up to you. I'm sorry I forgot about the plug." He bent down to continue licking.

"It's okay." Sebastian hummed. "It's just that you might manage. That was so fucking hot, Jim... I don't think I can ever think of a knife again without getting hard."

Jim giggled and had to stop licking. "You liked that? It was just an idea I got because I was considering whether to order you to undress or do it myself." He gave Sebastian's arse a soft pat and got up to go find the key for the cuffs.

"I liked it a lot." Somehow Sebastian managed to look very relaxed with his arms at such an awkward angle.

Jim couldn't help feeling proud and he freed Sebastian, massaging his wrists gently. "I did too. So... Do you really think we could switch roles in a film?"

Sebastian turned and pulled him in for a deep kiss before he answered. "It would definitely work for me."

"Were you serious about going for a second round?" Jim asked, grinning breathlessly.

Sebastian chuckled. "Yeah... We don't have to, but... We can..."

Jim stroked his cheek. "Oh no, I don't want to wear you out. It's just... after being in charge, I kind of miss being taken by you. You know, just pinned down and fucked through the mattress. But we can do that another time."

"Hmm..." Sebastian closed his eyes and smiled. "If you hadn't made me come so hard, you'd so be on your back right now..."

"Later," Jim said, kissing him again. "I think you need a nap now. And you've definitely earned it. I'll clean up here." He glanced at the shredded clothing spread all over the bed.

"Won't you stay?" Sebastian caught his lips again.

"Let me at least put the knife back. We don't want any accidents." Jim pulled away and picked it up. "I'll be right back." He hurried to the kitchen and put the knife in the sink. On his way back to the bedroom, he suddenly felt lightheaded and had to lean on the wall. He'd been so focused through it all and now he was completely drained.

He somehow made it back to the bed, curling up in Sebastian's arm, desperately in need of that nap.

Chapter Text

Angelo groaned. "You guys can't seriously want to do this."

"What? Why not?" Sebastian leaned in over his desk. "It would be different!"

"It would be ridiculous!"

"Everything we want to do is ridiculous to you!" Jim slumped against Sebastian, glaring at their boss.

"But Jimmy, be reasonable. You know that a small guy fucking a big one doesn't look good on screen. And this... This is much worse. Who's going to believe that Sebastian will lie there and take it when he can get up and snap you in two?"

"It's nothing to do with size," Sebastian said, sounding as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "It's trust and dynamics. Jim can handle the role. Aren't you supposed to believe in your actors?"

"I do! It's nothing to do with that! But this isn't my audience. It will look like we haven't thought it through. And then there's a bloody knife!" Angelo shook his head in exasperation. "How could you even think I was going to say yes to all that?"

Jim bit his lip. He had, in fact, been pretty sure that Angelo would reject the idea. He had been counting on it. Because, once the rush of the whole thing had settled, he had begun to realise that he would not want to do it on film. They had both enjoyed it and he had no doubt it had looked sexy as hell, especially when he cut Sebastian's clothes off. But it just felt too... personal. Too private. It was something that they had shared and it had been perfect. Putting it on film would cheapen it. Ruin it.

"Never mind," he said, giving Sebastian's hand a squeeze. "We're starting to get the message, Angelo. If you don't want us working together anymore, just say so. You've clearly got a problem with us."

"No." Angelo sighed. "But I do think it would be wise for both of you to work with others. You're actors. You may enjoy working with your real-life partner, but there are so many more options if you accept to act with someone else. That thing with Tony I talked to you about, Sebastian..."

"I was busy at the time," Sebastian said quickly. "We were preparing for the Kitten film."

"Well, you don't have a project on now, so I think you should do it."

Jim did feel a small twinge of jealousy, but he knew that Angelo was right. They couldn't be in this business if they only worked with each other. He'd been in this position before when Sherlock had been planning a project with another actor and Jim had not taken it well. Of course, things had been different since they hadn’t technically been together yet, but he had gotten so hung up on the idea that they were a team. That they belonged together. Which had almost lost him his career when Sherlock left. He couldn't let that happen again.  "He's right, Sebastian," he said. "You should do that. I'll ask around if any of the others want to do a scene or two with me. Vince did mention something about putting me in that period piece. The butler banging his master or something like that."

Sebastian frowned. "If you think so..."

"We're actors, darling." Jim forced himself to smile. "It's just acting."

…

"Bloody hell, this is shit!" Sebastian slammed the script down on the kitchen table. "Does Angelo seriously think that the next bland fuck is going to get more viewers than what we had in mind?"

"Does it matter what he thinks?" Jim looked up from his phone. "As long as you're getting paid, right?"

Sebastian huffed. "No one's going to employ me again if I'm known as a boring actor. It's probably just revenge because I won the bet about that first film..."

"It's just a job, Sebastian," Jim said. "You go in, you fuck him, you're done. Wouldn't you rather save all the fun stuff for me?"

Sebastian sighed. "I guess. But the work's supposed to be fun too. It always was..."

"So you want to have fun with Tony?" Jim did not like the tone of his own voice but he couldn't help it.

"I want to make an exciting film! How's anyone going to get aroused if we just... do it?"

Jim shrugged. "There's a million dollar industry based on the fact that that actually does it for most men. Not everyone likes your kind of rough."

"I guess it'll be actual practice for my acting skills... Convincing the audience that I think that film's a good idea..." Sebastian frowned.

"Yeah... Good luck with that. At least you'll just be working with Tony. From what I hear I'll be passed back and forth. Vincent is trying to do an actual plot. If you can call it that."

"I guess I am lucky. At least Tony's a fun guy..." He studied Jim for a moment. "What's the story in yours?"

“Bunch of twinks working for this buff rich bloke.” Jim sighed. “First they all get it on with each other in the closets and kitchen and stuff. And then one by one they end up in the master’s bed. Not exactly Oscar material. But the outfits will be cute.”

Sebastian smiled. “Don’t they need an extra gardener or something? I mean, it wouldn’t be just us. Then it should be fine if we’re both in it, right?”

“Twinks, honey,” Jim pointed out. “You’re kind of a hunk.” He blew Sebastian a kiss. “But yeah. It would be more fun if we could do it together.”

Sebastian sighed. “Maybe Angelo’s actually right. We’ve become spoiled. I mean, we choose to do this job. I shouldn’t be making such a problem of having sex without you around, should I?”

“No… You shouldn’t. We shouldn’t.” Jim moved over to sit in Sebastian’s lap. “I guess we’re just going to have to suck it up and do our job…”

“Suck it up… and suck it off…” Sebastian smiled.

Jim wrinkled his nose. “Oh fuck… I’m going to have to blow some of them. I don’t wanna…”

“Lucky them,” Sebastian said. “Do you really think I can’t pass as a twink? Like, a buff one?”

“An oxymoron you mean?” Jim giggled.

“No, not a moron…” Sebastian huffed.

Jim couldn’t help himself. He laughed so hard he had to cling to Sebastian not to fall to the floor. “You are so precious…”

“What? What did I say now?”

“Nothing…” Jim gasped, wiping his eyes. “You’re just… You’re so perfect. I know it’s stupid but… I really don’t want to be with anybody else. Not even on film.”

“What about that thing we said? You know, about what happened at the club?”

“That’s different. That will be you and others.” Jim gave him a soft kiss. “You’ll be there to take care of me.”

Sebastian smiled and returned the kiss. “I will. So you still want to do that?”

"More than ever." Jim put his head on Sebastian's shoulder. "Before we have to do these films."

"Should I call them?" Sebastian asked, putting an arm around Jim's waist. "Hear when the guys have time? We don't want to arrive thinking we can do it only to hear they're doing a show or got a day off..."

...

"Yeah. Yeah, that's great. See you tomorrow!" Sebastian put the phone down with a wide grin and walked over to Jim. "Guess what."

Jim was sitting on the counter in the kitchen. He'd been chewing his lip nervously while listening to Sebastian talk. He wasn't entirely sure what he was hoping for.

Sebastian put his hand on Jim's thighs and leaned in, still beaming. "They've got time for us tomorrow night!"

"To... Tomorrow?" Jim stammered, trying to smile. "That's awesome. I almost feel like I should start getting ready now..." He giggled nervously.

"Want some help?" Sebastian chuckled and kissed him.

Jim shrugged. "Won't you be getting enough tomorrow?" he teased. "You better save your energy. I want you to be part of the action, not just a spectator."

"Oh, don't worry about that..." Sebastian purred. "I'll never get enough of you."

"Never say never." Jim gave him a quick kiss, then pushed him away so that he could jump off the counter. "And keep it in your pants. I’m heading home, so I can start picking out the right outfit for you to peel off me.”

“Won’t you stay?” Sebastian pouted. “It’s way more fun imagining all the things we’ll be doing with you when you’re actually around…”

“I’m sure you can imagine plenty on your own.” Jim patted his cheek. “You can tell me about them tomorrow. Or better yet, show me.”

Sebastian smiled and kissed his lips. “You bet I will.”

...

Jim knew he should prepare. He was used to taking Sebastian by now, but he had no idea how large the other two were. Probably pretty big, considering their line of work. And he wouldn’t put it past any of them to try stretching him further than he’d ever been before. Whether with toys or… teamwork…

He just didn’t feel in the mood. He’d really been looking forward to this and they definitely had to try it on their own before attempting it in a movie. But the eager look in Sebastian’s eyes… Jim couldn’t quite explain why, but it had unsettled him.

It was like when they had discussed the puppy-play. Jim had said no and Sebastian had accepted it, but then suggested that Jim at least see the toys. And then that he could at least try the collar, and so on. And before he really knew what was going on, Jim had found himself on all four, wagging his bum and looking like a fool. Sebastian had kept his word and never teased him, and since it had led to them making that Kitten-movie, which he suspected would take their fame to a new level, he did not regret what had happened. But still…

Sebastian was very good at talking Jim into doing things. Especially things that he really, really wanted Jim to do. He had never forced him and Jim trusted that he never would, but…

There would be other Doms involved. Sebastian had guaranteed that he would be the one in control. That they would do nothing without his permission. That was not the problem.

He remembered a piercing laugh as he ran from Angelo’s office. Irene! Just a few minutes of teasing and she’d had Sebastian so worked up he was willing to say anything, just so he wouldn't seem a lesser Dom than her.

Would he be tempted to show off? They had all been working together at that club. Surely there had been some friendly competition. About who could give their partners the best experience. About who could take them the furthest.

If Sebastian got his mind set on making Jim do something new that would impress the others, would he try persuading Jim like he’d done with the ears and tail? And if he did, would Jim be able to say no? He would never admit it out loud, but he could not hide from himself how good it made him feel when Sebastian praised him.

Could Jim, under such circumstances, trust himself?

His phone chimed. Sebastian.

'Hey, gorgeous. Ready for tonight? ;)'

'As ready as I'll ever be.'

Jim hesitated and then deleted the text. If he didn't want to do this, he should just say so. Sebastian had told him so plenty of times.

So should he call it off? Was it a bad idea?

He tried thinking back to the night they had first talked about this. The first time they had gone to the club. How worked up Sebastian had felt, talking about watching Jim with others. Sharing him. How Jim had felt. So sexy. So... So wanted.

'Come and get me, Tiger.'

'You bet I will, Kitten.'

Fuck!!!

He hadn't prepared. At all.

Trying not to panic, he grabbed the lube and a medium-sized plug, rushing to the bathroom. He really should have used the large one, but this would have to do. If he left it in while he showered and shaved... It would have to be enough.

And he hadn't even considered what to wear yet. How long did he have?

Chapter Text

Forty-five minutes later, the doorbell rang.

"Hey." Sebastian was wearing tight jeans and a white V-neck, and beamed at Jim before he looked down and frowned. "Uh... Is that what you're gonna wear?"

Jim looked down at himself. He had been trying to decide which trousers to wear and had just tossed the third pair into the corner before opening the door. One of his socks had slid down and was barely clinging to his toes and the white tee he had put on half an hour ago was wrinkled and damp (mostly from the water dripping from his slowly drying, very messy hair, but also a bit from angry tears that he had barely noticed shedding in his frustrated rampage through his entire wardrobe). At least he was wearing pants.

Sniffing, he flung himself at Sebastian. "Help me!" he whined. "Tell me what to wear."

"Oh, Jim." Sebastian hugged him and kissed his hair, and then manoeuvred him back into the flat so he could actually close the door. "Didn't I say last time that everything is fine as long as it won't be too warm? As long as you'll be comfortable?"

"But..." Jim muttered. "I want to look good. For you."

Sebastian snorted. "Even now you're looking good to me, you silly Kitten. Just put on something." He stepped back to hold Jim at arm's length, smiling. "You know what... Put on something like in that film the boys love so much. Mind the Gap. They'll go nuts."

"Oh..." Jim felt himself starting to grin. "Y'know... Those were my own clothes. I might still have them lying around." He ran back into his bedroom, pulling a box out from the back of the closet.

To his chagrin, the jeans were too tight, but the shirt and jacket still fit. He had been wearing blue boxers in the film, so he pulled off his pants and went to search through his drawers.

Five minutes later, he looked almost like he'd just walked off the set. Except that back then, he'd looked pretty worn. But he wasn't going to think about that. Not tonight.

He returned to the living room, where Sebastian was waiting. "I know the hair is wrong, but other than that... How do I look?"

Sebastian grinned. "Perfect! As always..."

Jim was not blushing. He hoped. "Let's go," he said, holding out his hand.

…

"Oh my god!!!" Ronald gasped when he saw Sebastian lead Jim towards their table. He grabbed Pete's arm and the other man, this time wearing a shorter kilt in dark purple leather, turned around, gaping at them. Then his face split in a wide grin and he practically squealed as he jumped to his feet and ran to them.

"Fuck... Have I died and gone to heaven?" He grabbed Jim by the shoulders, holding him out so that he could get another look, then turned to Sebastian and gave him a fierce hug, practically lifting him off the ground. "Thank you. Holy fuck, this is perfect. Thank you!"

Sebastian chuckled as he escaped from Pete's grip. "Don't thank me. Loving this one, by the way." He ran a hand over Pete's arse.

"Oh, thank you, Sebby," Pete said, giving Sebastian's bum a rather firm slap. "You have a very nice bottom too." He winked at Jim. "Both of them."

Ronald snorted. "Seriously, though, Sebastian... You'd have gotten your turn. You didn't need to make him look like this so we'd both come before we really got started."

Jim giggled happily. Dressing like this had been a very good idea. This was what it was all about. Feeling like this. So wanted. So adored.

"Sebastian," Pete asked, his grin softening. "Would you mind terribly if I kissed your... your boyfriend? It's not often you get a chance to insert yourself into your favourite story. I've lost count of the times I've watched that film, thinking that what that sweet boy really needed was a proper kiss."

Sebastian smiled. "Yeah. I see your point." He nodded at Jim, passing on the question.

Rather than answering, Jim slipped into character, looking up at Pete with the same mix of curiosity and hesitation he had shown in the first scenes of that film. Remembering Sebastian's words, he added just a bit more fragility and was rewarded with an excited whimper from Pete as the man stepped close, placed a gentle hand on the back of Jim's head and bent down to kiss him.

Jim's mind was flooded with so many thoughts and sensations at once that he almost burst into tears.

The kiss itself was intense. Pete was very very good at this. The fact that he looked like a fetish action figure added an extra thrill and just a hint of danger.

Sebastian was standing right there, watching them. It was deliciously naughty. Sebastian was willingly sharing him with this man. It made Jim feel owned and cheap and incredibly precious. If they had stripped him now and had him right there in front of the whole club, Jim would not have objected.

But most of all it was the story. The character. Back then, Jim had secretly thought of the young student as James. James, naive and innocent, helplessly drawn to the mysterious stranger. James the virgin, starving for affection. James who was finally being kissed with the tenderness and passion he deserved.

He wrapped his arms around Pete and arched his back just a little for the camera that wasn't there.

"Oh god, he is so gorgeous," Jim heard Ronald sigh.

"I know," Sebastian answered proudly. "But I doubt we want to make this a public show, so maybe we should move before Pete forgets what we're here for. I mean, not that I'd blame him, being kissed like that..."

Jim whined as the kiss ended. He wanted more. A lot more. But with Pete's arm around his waist and Ronald's hand in his, he followed Sebastian, who led them down to one of the private rooms.

Jim didn't know what he had expected, but the room's simplicity took him by surprise.

Dark grey walls, a couple of chairs and a very large bed.

"We weren't sure what you had in mind," Pete told Sebastian. "So we didn't bring any toys. Yet." He was still holding onto Jim as he added: "You two can go get what we need. I'll get Jim... settled in."

Jim thought this sounded like an excellent idea, but Ronald shook his head. "No way," he said. "You've had a go at him. It's my turn now."

"You can both stay," Sebastian said. "I won't be long. Just don't take things further than kissing until I'm back. And remember that his safeword is 'colonel'." He met Jim's eyes, checking in before he left the room.

"It's still my turn," Ronald insisted, pulling Jim away from Pete and kissing him hard. It was such a contrast to Pete's passion that Jim staggered and almost pulled away.

But then he felt Ronald's hands on his hips and with a surge of lust, he pressed up against him, surrendering to the kiss.

And then Pete was behind him, his lips on Jim's neck, his hands finding their way into his shirt.

After a few minutes, the door opened again. Jim opened his eyes just a little and saw Sebastian put down a bag made of black cloth before he locked the room and turned towards them.

"Didn't miss me yet, did you?" He winked.

Ronald broke the kiss and grinned. "No, we're good. Not sure why you came back, really."

"Oh, Sebastian," Pete moaned, his hands moving forward to tug at Jim's shirt. "Can we have him now? Please?"

"Fine," Sebastian said, laughing. "Unwrap your present. But be careful with those clothes..."

"Oh, we will!" Ronald made quick work of Jim's trousers while Pete slowly unbuttoned his shirt. With one hand pressed against Jim's cock, Ronald leaned in and kissed every bit of chest that became visible.

Jim pushed against the hand, moaning. He closed his eyes as Pete removed the rest of his clothes and then gasped when they lifted him up and carried him to the bed.

He was not bound, but being handled like this felt oddly similar. He didn't have to do anything. Just let himself be used and enjoy whatever they decided to do to him.

He found himself kneeling on the bed, their hands and lips all over him. There were slick fingers sliding down the crack of his arse and then a hand around his cock. He could have opened his eyes to see them, but for now he would just feel.

Sebastian was watching them. Nothing bad would happen.

There was a brief pause and then he felt a condom being rolled on his cock. Seconds later warm, soft lips wrapped themselves around the head, sucking him in slowly.

It would have felt good to thrust forward, but he held still as the man (Pete? Ronald? Did it matter?) began moving his head.

A finger was now massaging his hole, testing and probing. He was still loose from the toy and the tip slipped in easily. The resulting moan behind him sounded like Pete, so it had to be Ronald who was now sucking him faster and faster.

Then Pete spoke and the words: "Under him," confused Jim for a second, but then Ronald pulled away and, from the sounds of it, lay down in front of him. As a gentle hand between his shoulders urged Jim to bent forward, he found Ronald waiting under him, his hair tickling Jim’s thighs.

It took a little shifting, but when Jim spread his legs, Ronald could get at his cock again, sucking eagerly.

Pete pumped his finger, working it further and further in and Jim found he could no longer hold back. He groaned and opened his eyes, seeking out Sebastian who was licking his lips as he watched, cupping his own crotch with one hand. As he met Jim's gaze, he took another condom from the table and stepped forward between Ronald's legs, unzipping Ronald's trousers and pulling them down. He wasn’t wearing pants. Then Sebastian bent Ronald's knees so his feet rested on the mattress and kissed one of his thighs before he tore the packet open and rolled the condom onto Ronald's cock, making him groan.

"Go ahead," he said, winking at Jim. "You can get some action, too."

Jim grinned at him before bending down to lick Ronald. He could definitely do this on film. This was fun and he had no doubt he looked hot as hell.

Sebastian kept his eyes on them as he stripped to his pants, throwing his clothes carelessly behind him.

"I think that's enough," he said then, as Ronald began to thrust up into Jim's mouth. "Pete, get him good and ready, but don't touch his cock. Ronald, come here."

"Seb..." Jim whined as Ronald pulled away. "I was enjoying that."

"Don't worry. You'll enjoy the rest too." He grinned and held out a hand to pull Ronald to his feet.

"I was enjoying it, too," Ronald said, frowning a little.

"I didn't say you wouldn't be getting any more..." Sebastian pulled him close and kissed him. Ronald groaned, pressing his hard cock into Sebastian’s thigh, and soon they were moving together, snogging passionately.

Pete leaned forward and breathed in Jim's ear: "Watching feels good, doesn't it?" He chuckled when Jim nodded. "What do you say, darling? Ready for another finger?"

Jim nodded again. "I'm ready for more than fingers," he said. "But I guess we'll have to wait for those two."

Sebastian came up for air. "Yes... You do..."

He turned Ronald around and pulled him against his chest. They both watched as Pete pressed two fingers into Jim's arse and both groaned in sympathy, Ronald's cock twitching visibly. Sebastian chuckled and kissed the side of his neck. "Patience... Pete's doing all the work for us, so I really think he's earned to get the first go, don't you?"

"I guess..." Ronald's hand wandered towards his cock, but Sebastian caught it and held it away from his body.

"None of that. Keep it for Jim."

"Let's see if we can speed things up," Pete said under his breath. "Straighten up."

With an arm around Jim's chest, he pulled him back up on his knees, giving the other two an excellent view of his body and especially his cock, which twitched as Pete brushed his fingertips over his prostate. Jim whimpered, leaning back and resting against Pete's shoulder, earning himself a kiss so deep it probably left a rather livid bruise on his neck. Never mind, he could cover that up if it was still there on Thursday.

"Uh, Pete?" Sebastian said, sounding rather breathless. "Do you think he's ready for you?"

"Yes!" Jim cried, before Pete could answer.

Sebastian chuckled. "Pete?"

"He can take me," Pete said, twisting his fingers. "How you ever fit in there, I don't know."

"I'm a... A pro..." Jim gasped, clenching around his fingers.

"Remember, he isn't allowed to come until I tell him to," Sebastian reminded Pete. "But you can take as long or as short as you like."

"Are you sure I can't go first?" Ronald whined.

"Shush." Sebastian gave him a hard slap on his arse and then handed Pete a condom.

"I am forever in your debt, Sebastian," Pete said as he pulled out his fingers and wiped them on a tissue. "Turn around, please," he said as he undid his kilt, put it carefully aside and began stroking himself. "I want to see those gorgeous eyes when I take you. And do that thing again. Like on the train."

And just like that, Jim slipped back into character. He lay down on the bed, chewing his lip nervously as he watched Pete roll on the condom, then move over to kneel between his legs.

"So beautiful..." Pete let himself just enjoy the sight for a moment. Then he bent down to kiss Jim deeply as he aligned himself and began pushing in slowly.

“Fuck,” Ronald sighed, and he and Sebastian moved over to the bed, sitting on either side of Pete to watch. “Oh god… Do you think they could do another film? One where it turns out some guy has been watching the boy from Mind the Gap and saw the other guy make a move on him. But he feels like he deserves better and takes him home to take good care of him…”

Sebastian chuckled. “I could pitch it to Angelo.”

Jim thought it was a great idea for a film, but doubted Angelo would agree. He would have said so, but just then, Pete began thrusting and Jim was overwhelmed with how different it felt.

Sex with Sebastian was amazing. But it did always hurt a bit, simply because of his size. And Sherlock had always been a little impatient. Off-camera he had never bothered to prepare Jim properly.

But Pete had done his job well. He was about as average in size as you could get and as he moved inside him, Jim felt nothing but pleasure.

Never breaking the kiss, they found a perfect rhythm together and Jim clung to him, wishing they could stay like this.

"Enjoying yourself?" Suddenly Sebastian's voice was in his ear. Jim had been too caught up in pleasure to notice Sebastian had moved to the head of the bed.

"Remember," he continued, softly stroking the side of Jim's neck with his fingertips, "you can't come yet... Only for me..."

Jim purred. "I don't want to come. I just want to enjoy it. All of it. "

"Good boy." Sebastian kissed his temple and stood back to watch.

"What are you doing?" he asked Ronald, who was rummaging in the bag.

"Oh, don't worry. It's not for Jim." He stretched a light flogger between his hands. "It may just make Pete speed up a little..."

Sebastian let out a laugh. "You really don't have a grain of patience, do you?"

Ronald just grinned.

"I guess you actually have a point. He is being pretty selfish..." Sebastian grabbed Pete's shoulder. "Off. Now."

"Sebby..." Pete whined as he pulled out. "That's not fai..." He noticed the flogger in Ronald's hand. "Is that for me? Have I been a bad boy?"

Ronald nodded, stretching it again. "A very selfish boy."

"I'll punish him," Sebastian said, holding out his hand. "You go play with your treat."

Ronald actually seemed to hesitate before he let go of the flogger, but then he did and crawled on the bed. He pressed two fingers into Jim's arse and groaned before he pulled them out again.

"Go on," he whispered. "You can beg."

"I want... I want to watch them..." Jim gasped. He scrambled to get on his hands and knees turning to where Pete was taking up position, his hands against the wall and head down.

"Please... fuck me while we watch," he said, glancing quickly at Ronald before turning his attention to Sebastian, who was trailing his fingers over Pete's back, standing a little aside so Jim could see the motion. Then he stepped back and the flogger came down, making Pete cry out.

Ronald took a new condom and tugged on Jim's hips, positioning him just the way he wanted him, but not obstructing his view either.

"I guess it's a good lesson for you," he said, leaning over Jim to speak in his ear. "To see what would happen if you were any less of a sweetheart than you are now."

And then he pushed in, a lot faster than Pete had done.

Jim's yelp of surprise mingled with Pete's second cry of pain/pleasure. Sebastian was hitting a lot harder than he had done with Jim and red lines appeared on Pete's skin with every strike.

"Does... Doesn't that... hurt?" he gasped, pushing back against Ronald's thrusts.

"Isn't that the point?" Ronald chuckled as he sped up.

"Yes, but... But why?" He shifted a little, trying to get a better angle.

"Can't you hear it?" Ronald asked, just as Pete's next cry trailed off into a loud moan.

"He likes it?" Jim knew that, of course. Intellectually. But he'd never really believed it. It just didn't make sense.

But seeing the way Pete squirmed in anticipation, how his hips snapped forward after Sebastian hit his arse...

If that was acting, Pete was more talented than anyone working at UMQRA. Even Sherlock.

Jim tried imagining himself in Pete's place. How would it feel to have Sebastian flog him for real, not just for show? Would he like the pain? Or maybe...

Pete's words echoed in his ears: "Have I been a bad boy?"

Jim trembled, groaned and, for the first time that night, feared he might come too soon. Would Sebastian be angry? Would he punish him?

That thought was extremely unhelpful and Jim closed his eyes, trying to think of laundry.

"Oh, fuck, that feels good," Ronald gasped, and Jim realised he must be squeezing. "Careful, though..." He ran his hands up Jim's chest to hold him upright, leaning against him, and his thrusts became even more forceful. "If you even think of coming, you'll be headed for punishment too..."

"No!!!" Jim squirmed and tried to pull away. He did not want Ronald punishing him. He wanted...

"Seb," he gasped. "Sebastian!"

Sebastian turned around immediately. "Off!" he barked at Ronald. "Now!"

"I was just teasing him!"

"Now," Sebastian growled, stepping closer as if he was about to pull Ronald away if necessary, but Ronald finally pulled out.

"Can't you see the fucking state of him?" Sebastian snapped, before wrapping an arm around Jim and speaking in his ear. "I still won't let you come. But take a moment. Try to relax, okay?"

"There really is no need to be so dramatic," Ronald muttered. "I wasn't going to let him. I know what I'm doing."

Jim pressed himself up against Sebastian, trying to take deep, slow breaths. "I'm not bad," he babbled, unable to stop himself. "I'm not..."

He closed his eyes, suddenly feeling miserable. This was stupid. Nothing had happened. He was letting his own head ruin it for him.

"I need a break," he whispered. "Just... Can we slow down?" He noticed Pete hovering uncertainly by the side of the bed. Jim held out a hand to him. "I'm sorry to ruin your fun. I just got... it was... Sorry."

"Don't you even think that," Pete said, taking Jim's hand and joining them on the bed. "This is about you. It's your night. I've already gotten far more than I had expected."

"You liked it..." Jim wasn't quite sure if it was a question or an accusation.

"I loved it..." Pete laughed. "You really should give it a try sometime. Sebastian is a genius when it comes to making pain feel good."

Sebastian smiled and leaned in, sandwiching Jim between himself and Pete. "Jim doesn't need that," he said. "He's been so good. He hasn't earned any pain." He gave Jim a soft kiss. "Let Pete take care of you for a moment, okay? I think I should have a word with Ronald."

Pete practically pulled Jim into his lap. "That’s a wonderful idea. I'll take very good care of you."

Jim relaxed, letting himself be cuddled and then treated to one more of those glorious lingering kisses. Would this work on film? He'd have to ask Sebastian later how they had looked.

He was vaguely aware that Sebastian and Ronald stood talking in the corner, but he couldn't make much of their hushed tones and honestly didn't care much. However, when he opened his eyes again, he just saw Sebastian lean in to kiss Ronald.

Jim almost pouted, but stopped himself. He had kind of hoped Sebastian would have told Ronald off. And maybe sent him away. He would much rather carry on with just Sebastian and Pete.

Deciding to ignore them for now, he turned to Pete for another kiss, squirming against him to test if he was up for another go.

As they broke apart, Sebastian and Ronald returned to the bed.

"Sorry," Ronald said to Jim. "I misunderstood what you wanted. I hope you're okay?"

Jim just shrugged, moving from Pete's lap over to snuggle against Sebastian. "What's next?" he asked, smiling up at him. "Are you going to fuck me? I could give Pete a blowjob... I've gotten good at that. Because of you."

Sebastian frowned. "What is happening next is that you'll answer Ronald. He asked you something. He apologised. Don't you think he deserves a reaction?"

Jim did pout this time. "I'm fine, Ronald," he muttered. "It's fine."

"Thank you." Ronald gently squeezed his shoulder.

Sebastian looked from Ronald to Jim and then nodded. "Pete, how do you feel about a blowjob from Ronald?"

Pete looked at Jim for a second, but then nodded too. "Sounds awesome," he said. "That's a rare treat." He winked at Ronald. "Get over here. Let's give the lovebirds some space." He crawled to the edge of the bed to get a new condom.

Jim was still pouting. "I wanted to do that," he muttered.

"And Ronald would just have to sit there and watch? That's not what this is about, Jim." Sebastian frowned.

"I thought this was about me." Jim pulled away from him. "About what I could handle. And Pete said..."

"Hold it right there," Sebastian hissed. "Have you forgotten why Pete just earned his flogging? Have you? He was being selfish, but that was nothing compared with what I'm hearing now. It's all about you, is it? Our pleasure doesn't matter to you? You are forgetting your place." Sebastian stood up and picked something out of the bag without even looking. A collar.

"My place?" Jim jumped to his feet on the bed, glaring at him. "I'm not your little sub! It's just a game we play for the cameras!"

He looked over at Ronald and Pete, who were both staring at him in shock. He craned his neck and straightened his back. "I'm Jim Moriarty. I'm the star here. I'm already doing you guys a favour."

Sebastian snorted. "Oh, come on. Is that supposed to work on me?" He held up the collar. "You are mine. I decided to share you. I've been very tolerant with you tonight. You haven't called me 'sir' even once and yet I haven't punished you. But I've been too lax. It can't go on like this."

Jim crossed his arms and raised his chin defiantly. "Ha! You wouldn't punish me... Sir... You wouldn't dare!"

"Jim..." Pete said, taking a step towards them, looking slightly concerned.

But Jim didn't care. His whole body was tingling and his head felt light and hot at the same time. It was oddly exciting. Standing up to Sebastian like this.

"Is that what you think?" Sebastian's voice was a growl as he stepped closer to the bed, glaring. "Do you really want to challenge me on that?"

"I could... I could stop you," Jim stammered. "I could say it..."

"You could," Sebastian said, not even blinking. "But would you?"

Yes! Of course he would stop him. And Sebastian would have to respect it. All Jim had to do was open his mouth and say the word and it would all be over. Pete and Ronald would go away and Sebastian would stop looking at him with that strange fire in his eyes.

And Jim would stop shivering with this terrible mix of fear and want. Jim did not want to be punished. He did not want to want it. To be humiliated in front of his lovers. To feel the colour spreading through his stinging skin.

And he definitely did not want Sebastian to embrace him when it was all done and praise him for taking his punishment so well.

Jim realised that he was panting, licking his lips frantically. He looked away. Looked down. "No," he whispered, feeling like he might burst into tears. "No. I wouldn't stop you."

Sebastian took his hands and squeezed them. Comforted, Jim stepped off the bed, wanting a hug, but instead Sebastian leaned in and breathed in his ear: "And why wouldn't you?"

"Because..." Jim's voice was barely a whisper now. "I deserve it? I have been... bad?"

"Yes." Sebastian sounded proud as he stood back. "Yes, you have. Come here."

He moved slowly, waiting for Jim to follow every step, until he sat down on the edge of the bed.

Ronald and Pete, who had frozen in their actions before, turned towards them with clear interest for what would happen.

Jim was trembling violently now. What would Sebastian do? The flogger was still lying discarded by the wall, but maybe he had another one hidden in that bag. Or something worse.

He took a deep breath to calm himself. It was okay. He had agreed to this. And Sebastian would never hurt him. Not really. He wasn't cruel.

And besides, Jim told himself, he could still use the word if he wanted to. Even though he had said he wouldn't, he still could. Sebastian would respect it.

So he waited for Sebastian to make the next move, determined to handle it, whatever it was.

"Come here," Sebastian repeated, putting his hands on Jim's thighs and gently drawing him closer and then easing him down over his lap.

"Go on then. Ask me nicely to punish you and I may be milder than you really deserve."

Jim almost growled. He couldn't be serious. Who did he think Jim was?

But then he caught sight of Ronald stroking himself slowly while watching them. And Pete looking like Christmas had come early.

Jim supposed it made sense. A bare hand couldn't hurt as much as a whip or flogger. And he did not doubt he looked good like this. What was the harm, really?

So he took a deep breath. "Please," he mumbled, burrowing his face in the sheets. "Punish me."

Sebastian's hand came down immediately with a resounding smack. Jim bit back a yelp. He hadn’t expected it to be so loud. It was more startling than painful, and Sebastian waited almost ten seconds before he did it again.

The next three slaps came quickly and never landed in the same place. As if Sebastian wanted to make sure no part of Jim's bottom went unspanked.

When he paused again, Jim could feel the heat in his skin. He supposed he was already turning a little pink back there.

At a sound from Ronald, he turned his head to look. The man looked on the edge of climax, his hand moving in frantic jerks. Pete had sat down on the floor and was watching them eagerly, his eyes glowing almost manically.

Sebastian struck again and this time Jim did cry out. It was starting to hurt. As if his skin was more alert, feeling the pain more acutely. It also felt good. Far too good.

Pete locked eyes with him, and grinned before winking. Jim found himself smiling back weakly. But only for the fraction of a second, before Sebastian hit again. After another series of quick slaps he stopped, his hand still resting on Jim's sore bum, his fingers gently caressing the tingling skin, easing the burn.

"That's better, isn't it?" Sebastian continued petting him and then another hand started stroking Jim’s bum.

"Yeah," Jim muttered, trying to sniff quietly. He reached out a hand and found Pete's hip, giving it a soft squeeze. "Thank you."

"You know, after all this, I really think we should show you that we can all have fun," Sebastian said. "What do you say, boys?"

"I say we show him what a good boy gets." Pete pulled Jim up for a quick, playful kiss.

Chapter Text

For almost a whole minute after waking up, Jim could not figure out why he was so sore. Then memories of the previous night came back to him and he whined with a very confusing mix of embarrassment, mirth and a lingering trace of arousal. Well, the latter was easily dealt with, he supposed. He reached under the covers and began stroking his semi-hard cock, moaning sleepily.

After the spanking (which he really did not want to think about right now) things had sped up. He had been fucked by all three of them in turn, sucked Ronald while Sebastian fucked Pete and then finally been allowed to come with Sebastian pounding his arse and the other two taking turns at his mouth.

It had been absolute bliss and his respect for Sebastian as a Dom had grown exponentially as he saw him direct the whole thing, making sure that nobody felt left out and fresh condoms were used every time there was a switch. It was so easy getting caught up in the whole thing, and he felt he could safely let himself go as long as Sebastian was there. He'd keep him safe. In every sense.

The bathroom door opened and Sebastian got back in bed. "Oh. Good morning..." He grinned as he saw the movement of Jim's hand under the sheets. "Want some help?"

"I think I can handle it." Jim smirked.

"Okay. Guess you have enough to think about..." Sebastian winked and shifted the covers so he could watch.

"Oh yes," Jim purred, closing his eyes. He moved a little to give Sebastian a better view and let out a soft moan. "You guys didn't hold back. I'll be walking funny for a week. Good thing I'm not shooting before Thursday."

"Oh, I think you'll be shooting sooner than that." Sebastian gestured at Jim's hand.

Jim snorted. "Prat... You're putting me off." He tried to keep stroking but couldn't get into a good rhythm. So he let his hand drop, pouting. "See? You ruined it."

"Oh, so you do need help?" Grinning, Sebastian leaned in for a kiss.

Jim huffed against his lips but then took hold of Sebastian's wrist, guiding his hand down. "Well, I do now..."

When he had cleaned up, Jim snuggled close to Sebastian, sighing with content. "That was nice," he muttered, closing his eyes. "You take such good care of me."

Sebastian kissed his hair. "I do my best. I really enjoyed last night..."

"Me too. Being passed around like that... That was so hot... And the way you looked at me when they fucked me..." He giggled. "That image will be with me for a long time."

Sebastian grinned. "And punishing you... It wasn't so bad, was it?"

Jim felt the colour rise in his cheeks. "That was... different... From what I had expected." He hid his face against Sebastian's chest. He didn't want to talk about that part. Not now. Or ever. He'd gotten carried away by the whole thing and suddenly found himself backed into a corner. Either stop the fun then and there, or let Sebastian have his way.

He just didn't understand why Sebastian had done it. What did he get out of it?

"Why, though?" he asked, still looking down. "Why did you like hitting me? Humiliating me like that? Did it make you feel big? Do you think they admired you for it?"

Sebastian pulled away from him, raising his eyebrows. "You can't seriously think it was about me."

Jim sat up, glaring at him. "Of course it was. It was about you getting to try out another one of your kinks on me! And this time you had an audience! You liked that, didn't you? Showing them how you could control me? 'Handle' me?" Jim wasn't sure if he was angry at Sebastian for what he did or at himself for letting it happen. He was certainly never going back to that club again. Never looking Pete or Ronald in the eyes again.

"Jim... I have nothing to prove to them." Sebastian was looking at him incredulously. "You liked it. Getting punished gave you a way to get back on track. Why is it so hard for you to admit that you experience pleasure? How can you do all this if you're ashamed of liking it?"

"I didn't like it!" Jim crossed his arms. "I just let you do it. So we could get back to fucking. And so that you wouldn't lose face in front of your friends."

Suddenly Sebastian was on top of Jim, pushing him down and forcefully pinning his hands above his head. “So you’d never want this when we’re alone?” he growled. “You weren’t hard against my leg when I was hitting you? It was all in my mind?”

Jim swallowed. He hadn’t been hard. Had he?

He stared up at Sebastian and opened his mouth to argue. But he couldn’t make a sound. That strange feeling from last night was back. His head was buzzing and his heart was pounding. He was terrified and he was excited. Sebastian looked so dangerous.

Finally he managed to shape a word. But rather than the angry rebuttal he had planned, what came out was a feeble: “Maybe?”

Sebastian scoffed and sat back, straddling Jim’s thighs. “Look at you. It’s almost too easy. Why can’t you just accept that you are a sub? That that’s what you want?”

“Am not!” Jim squeaked. “You’re just… You’re squashing me.”

“Not gonna move.” Sebastian crossed his arms and stared him down.

“So what? You’ll sit on me until I… do what? Pretend that I want to be your sub and ask you to beat me? Burst into tears? What do you want me to do?” Jim managed, what he hoped, was a fairly convincing scowl.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “I'll sit on you until you are actually honest. Until you stop spouting stuff that keeps up whatever image you’re trying to make for yourself, but nobody believes. Except, perhaps, you.”

“It’s not an image…” Jim's voice sounded almost like a whine. What was wrong with him? “It’s me. Who I am. That other stuff… It’s just acting… For the camera. And to make you happy…”

Sebastian’s expression softened a little. “Yes. To make me happy. And why is it that you want to do that so much? Perhaps because doing it makes you happy, too?”

“Yeah?” Jim said uncertainly. Where was Sebastian going with this?

“So it makes you happy when I tell you what to do, because that way you’re certain you’ll be doing something I like, right? It’s safe.”

Jim frowned. “I like it when you give me orders,” he said, actually really thinking about it for the first time, “because then I don’t have to think for myself. It feels nice just letting go like that. Relaxing. But only because I know I can trust you.”

“And, I’m sorry, but that’s basically the definition of being a sub. I mean… If you like all that, why is the actual word such a big problem?”

“Because subs are weak…” Jim closed his eyes. “I don’t want to be weak.”

“Weak?” Sebastian repeated. “What’s weak about going to great lengths to pleasure your partner? What’s weak about taking a beating and getting aroused?”

Jim didn’t know what to say. When Sebastian put it like that, it did make sense. But it just didn’t fit with what he had seen. On film and in magazines. Men wearing ridiculous harnesses of straps and buckles, being humiliated and abused, all for the pleasure of some snearing cliché of a leather-clad Master who just treated them like crap no matter what they did. That wasn’t him. He could never be that.

But he could be Sebastian’s Kitten. He could let him tie him up, blindfold and gag him and Jim would still feel perfectly safe. Happy, even. And he could let Sebastian tell him what to do. He enjoyed following his directions. And, somehow, on some strange level, he had even enjoyed it last night. When he had let Sebastian win. When he had let him…

He still found it hard to actually think the word. It just sounded so ridiculous.

He shook his head. No… He wasn’t going to do that again. He wasn’t going to let his own stupid head ruin everything.

He had liked it. He had liked it when Sebastian spanked him.

Finally he opened his eyes and, even though he felt like he might puke or pass out any moment, he managed a small smile. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I think you may be right. But… Could we not have this conversation like this? Could you maybe… could you hold me?”

“Of course.” Sebastian was off him immediately, snuggling into the pillow next to him and pulling him close. “Thank you for asking nicely,” he said in Jim’s ear.

For some reason, those words pushed him over the edge and Jim felt tears well up in his eyes. But he bit them back, for now. There was something he needed to say. Now, while he still could. “I can’t ask for… for the other thing… Don’t make me… It doesn’t mean I don’t want it, just… don’t make me ask for it…”

“The… other thing?” Sebastian asked.

“P… Punishment…” Jim whispered, hiding his face against Sebastian’s shoulder. “We can… try some stuff, but it’ll have to be up to you. Can you… do you think you can tell when I might want it?”

Sebastian chuckled softly and threaded his fingers through Jim’s hair. “Yeah. I think I can.”

“So if I get… sassy… you won’t get angry…? Not for real?”

“Not for real. It’s all part of the act, right? Both you being difficult and me snapping at you for it. And punishing you…” He stroked down his back.

“And me protesting?” Jim added. “You know… Not actually using the word but telling you to stop and saying… mean stuff?”

“That’s why we have the word in the first place, remember?”

“Good… Because I kind of liked that. Saying all that stuff.” Jim stifled a giggle. “Before you… before you stopped me.”

“And I suppose you liked me stopping you.” Sebastian sounded amused.

That stopped Jim's urge to laugh. Why did he insist on asking that? With a small sigh, Jim nodded, still keeping his face hidden.

“I really loved the sound of my hand on your skin. How nicely pink your bum turned. And Pete loved it, too.”

That did it. Jim pushed Sebastian away and sat up again. “I knew it! All that stuff about making each other feel good and shit… It’s all complete bollocks. It was just about you showing off for your friends. Getting off on proving what a great big Dom you…”

He never got any further. With a happy grin, Sebastian pounced on him, flipped him over and had him over his knee before Jim really knew what was going on.

This time he didn’t take it nicely but cursed and wriggled while Sebastian landed slap after slap on his increasingly sore bum.

Sebastian carried on longer than last night. But not too much. When he stopped, Jim was quiet and just rested his temple against the cool sheet while Sebastian stroked the burning skin, murmuring about him being a sweet but very very silly boy.

They had a cuddly and slightly giggly mutual wank and when Jim drifted off for a much-needed nap, he wondered if he’d ever stop smiling again.

Chapter Text

They spent the rest of that day doing nothing. Well, they did order in pizza and watched some crappy telly, but other than that, they just snuggled, kissed and talked about unimportant stuff.

The next day, Sebastian had to go into the studio for a read-through with Tony. Jim didn’t like it, but just because he and Sebastian had taken things to a new level didn’t mean that the world could be put on hold for them while they figured things out.

They had agreed to do these movies and if they wanted to stay ahead in this business, they really did have to work with other people. But still, Jim couldn’t help pouting and complaining as Sebastian was getting ready to leave. Right until Sebastian slipped the collar around his neck, kissed his nose and told him to be a good boy while he was gone.

It was embarrassing how happy such a silly thing could make him, but as he was alone in his flat, Jim allowed himself to just go with it and actually hummed happily to himself as he did the dishes, tidied up the bedroom and vacuumed the living room carpet. He spent a while studying himself in the mirror, both with and without clothes. The collar really suited him.

He tried examining his backside for any bruises, but as far as he could tell, Sebastian hadn’t left any marks on him. That was good. Though he would kind of like to see the colour Sebastian talked about. Could he ask him to take a picture next time? No… He couldn’t do that. But maybe he could sneak out for a peek in the mirror before it faded. Yeah… He could prove he was a good boy by giving Sebastian a good blowjob and then when he drifted off, he could have a look. And maybe even take a few pictures himself.

Just for research, of course. To find out if it would look good on film. Because they were definitely doing a film about it. The way Pete and Ronald had watched them in the club had convinced him that there was indeed a market for this kind of thing. And they were going to dominate it.

After he’d had a quick lunch, he settled down with his laptop and began typing up a new script. He used their night at the club as inspiration, but changed a lot of things. The Twink, as he called the sub until he could come up with a better name, wasn’t quite as confident or, indeed, stubborn as he had been. And none of the others were in charge the way Sebastian had been. But he did write one of them as gentle and playful as Pete. And then barely resisted writing another one as a complete arse. He might not have liked Ronald personally, but nobody would want to watch that on film.

So he just made the other two guys generically dominant, figuring Sebastian could help him turn them more interesting later. He left out the flogging and spanking but included everything else they had done. He considered a few options for all three of them to go at the Twink at the same time, but everything he could think of either seemed awkward, painful or literally impossible, so he settled for the taking turns thing Pete and Ronald had done at the end.

The script wasn’t long. There wasn’t really any dialogue except for a few questions and directions along the way and not much plot. It was just a list of positions and combinations. But with the right actors, it could be really really hot.

Himself and Sebastian, of course. And should they ask Tony? No. He wasn’t right for this. Jim supposed he’d have to think about it. Maybe even audition someone new.
Would Pete do it? He would love to have Pete in it. Get a chance to see how they had looked together. And he wouldn’t mind letting him have another go at him. On or off camera. If Sebastian didn’t mind, of course.

But not Ronald. Jim couldn’t say exactly why, but he would rather not get involved with him again. They just didn’t have the right chemistry, he supposed.

Could they ask Pete to be in the film, but not Ronald? They were both Sebastian’s friends and it might cause some resentment. Jim shrugged. He would ask Sebastian when he came home.

He looked at the time and gasped. Sebastian would be home in less than half an hour. Jim had wanted to cook something nice for him. But he hadn’t even been to the shop yet. And they’d had pizza yesterday. He couldn’t order take-out again.

On the brink of panic, he suddenly had an idea. He put his laptop away and rushed to the bathroom. He was halfway through shampooing his hair when he realised he should probably have taken the collar off before getting into the shower. Well, it was too late now. Hopefully it wouldn’t be ruined.

He made it just in time. He slipped on his jacket when he heard Sebastian on the stairs and ran to open the door.

“Honey…” he cooed. “How do you feel about eating out tonight?”

Sebastian stopped and stared at his suit. "Fuck, hello... What are we celebrating?"

"Ehm..." Jim fidgeted with the tie in his hand. "Us?"

Sebastian licked his lips as he looked him up and down. "Works for me. Just let me get changed, okay?" He walked up close, gently driving Jim backwards so he could close the door.

Jim's eyes widened a little and he smiled. "There is... no rush... If you have other... things... to do..."

Sebastian smiled down at him and hooked a finger behind the collar, petting his neck gently. "Have you been a good boy while I was out?"

Jim nodded eagerly. "I've cleaned and stuff," he said. "And I'm working on our next movie. I think you are going to love it."

"Perfect," Sebastian purred, his other hand joining to fiddle with the collar. "Thank you." A moment later, he took it off and gave Jim a soft kiss. "Be right back..."

Jim leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes. Were things going to be like this from now on? Could Sebastian make his knees wobble just with a touch and a few words? Would his main concern be whether or not Sebastian would be pleased with him? With what he did?

And if so, was that really so bad? Wasn't it a lot better... a lot healthier... than anything he had ever had with Sherlock? Anything he had ever had on his own?

His fingers trembled as he reached up to fix his shirt and put on his tie. An image came unbidden to his mind: Sebastian grabbing the tie like it was a leash and pulling Jim close for a devastating kiss. Sebastian slowly removing that tie and then using it to bind Jim's wrists before he...

"All done!" Sebastian came out of the bedroom taking big steps. "Oh... You okay?"

Startled by an absurd sense of getting caught in the act, Jim quickly lowered his hands and the unfinished knot came undone. "I...I can't seem to remember how to do this," he mumbled, giving the tie a defeated tug.

"Oh. Come here." Sebastian held out a hand for the tie.

Jim pushed off the wall and walked slowly over to Sebastian, pulling the tie off and handing it to him. He kept his head down, convinced that Sebastian would realise exactly what he was thinking if their eyes met.

He had to get himself under control or they'd never make it out the door. "Thanks."

Sebastian was definitely touching his neck more than necessary as he fixed the tie, but finally he hummed, pleased with his work. "There you are. All pretty."

Jim had closed his eyes again, letting himself enjoy the moment. Now he took a step back, studying Sebastian. "You look good." It was not often he got to see him in a button-down. Even without a tie and jacket he looked so stylish Jim almost felt scruffy in his own (slightly too small) suit.

"You too." Sebastian looked smug. "So did you have any particular place in mind?"

"Not really," Jim admitted. "I almost never go to restaurants. Do you... Do you know a good place?"

Sebastian shrugged. "We can just go out and see what catches our fancy."

After a very pleasant stroll, they picked a small Greek restaurant with an interesting menu. While they waited for their main courses, they had fun breaking the freshly-baked spiced bread into small pieces, using them to scoop up the different dips and then feeding them to each other. At one point, Jim earned himself a nice little reprimand by sucking Sebastian's finger into his mouth along with the bread, and afterwards he managed to get some tzatziki on the tip of Sebastian's nose.

It was, as far as he could remember, the happiest night of his life.

Until Sebastian, smiling down at the plate of moussaka that had just arrived, said: "I really have a good feeling about that film with Tony. I think we actually have some chemistry on screen."

Jim stared at him, completely ignoring the young waiter who was trying to put a plate down in front of him. "Wh... What?" he gasped. "Oh... Well, that's... That's good..."

"Careful," Sebastian said, moving Jim's arm aside to make way for his food. "But yeah, I think so. Angelo seemed happy too. I guess you were right that it's good for my career to show I can act with others as well." He took a bite and hummed.

"Yeah... Of course. "Jim looked down at his own food. "I'm glad that it's going to be pleasant working with Tony. That's... nice..."

"Yeah. I really think he and I could be good mates. I hope your new film will be fun to do, too."

"I'm sure it will." Jim picked up his fork and prodded his food. It looked disgusting. Why had he ordered this?

"If it goes as well as I expect, maybe Tony could join us for the foursome?" Sebastian suggested.

Jim dropped his fork, which clattered loudly on the plate. "I don't think so," he said. "He's not really the type, is he? Not the way I wrote it. Unless..." He looked up at Sebastian, narrowing his eyes. "You want him to play the sub?"

"What?" Sebastian chuckled. "Why would I want that when I have a perfect sub around?"

"Oh yeah?" Jim cocked his head. "Who's that?"

"Do you really need that much praise?" Sebastian winked and focused on his food again.

"No," Jim muttered, so low he doubted Sebastian could hear him. "But I may need you not to praise your other partners when we are out celebrating us."

Sebastian looked up sharply. "What was that?"

"Nothing." Jim shrugged. "How's your food?"

"Are you jealous?" Sebastian leaned forward with that predatory look in his eyes.

"No!" Jim stood his ground. "I'm angry. Tonight was supposed to be about us. About what we're doing. Where we're heading. And all you can do is talk about an actor whom you know perfectly well has had a crush on you since the moment you set foot in the studio. Well, good for him. He's finally getting his fantasy fulfilled, isn't he?"

"Jim..." Sebastian rolled his eyes. "I was just saying that my day wasn't as horrible as we'd been dreading. I wasn't looking forward to working with someone else either, remember? But we agreed there was no other option, so I'd better make the best of it. And so should you."

"And you couldn't have waited to tell me?" Jim huffed, picked up his fork again and began shovelling food into his mouth.

Sebastian snorted. "Yes. How dare I talk about my day while we're out for dinner. Really, Jim. Behave..."

"Don't be an idiot, Sebastian," Jim snapped. "It's not just talking about your day. You are going to fuck him. Soon. And you were praising him and the 'chemistry' you two have. How did you think I was going to take it?"

Sebastian glanced at the people at the table beside him and gave them a friendly smile before turning back to Jim. "It's our job. I really thought you knew by now that I prefer to be with you. Or at least to have you around when other people are involved. You are mine. He's just a colleague."

"I know..." Jim pouted and crossed his arms. "But I still don't want to talk about him when we are out on a..." He quickly stopped himself.

Sebastian smirked. "On a?"

"Never mind," Jim pushed his plate away. "Are you done? Can we get out of here?"

"No... I'm going to finish this." Sebastian took a slow bite, sucking his fork a little without taking his eyes off Jim.

Jim glared back then stood up. "Enjoy," he said. "I'm gonna go get some air."

"Oh, no, you won't." Sebastian grabbed his arms and looked up at him sternly. "You are going to sit there and wait until I'm done."

Jim tried to tear his arm away. "No, I won't," he snapped. "Let go of me. I... I want to be alone."

Sebastian got up too, towering over him. "Really? That's what you want?"

Jim trembled a little, then lowered his voice. "Yes, Sebastian," he muttered, looking up at him. "I need a moment. To think and to... to calm down... Please..."

"Fine." Still holding Jim's arm, Sebastian reached into his pocket with his other hand and threw some money on the table. Then he let go and nodded towards the door.

Jim bolted, feeling that everyone was staring at him. Once outside, he stopped, took a deep breath and covered his face with his hands. "Shit..." he whispered. "Fuck..."

Suddenly there was a warm press against his back and two strong arms wrapped around him from behind.

"No!" Jim squeaked, trying to pull away. "Not now, Sebastian. I..." But then he felt soft lips on the side of his neck and he gave up. "I'm sorry," he said, putting his hands over Sebastian's. "I'm an idiot. I know..."

"Yeah." Sebastian squeezed him a little. "Come with me?"

"Where?" Jim asked, tensing a little. Was Sebastian still angry? Was he going to punish him? That was not how he had wanted this evening to turn out. He had wanted it to be special. Nice.

"You wanted to calm down..." Sebastian stepped in front of him and gestured at a side alley. "It's not as crowded in there."

Jim giggled and nodded. "Yeah... Okay..." He took Sebastian's hand and let him lead him into the alley.

Once they were out of sight, Sebastian turned to him. "Do you need another hug?"

Jim nodded, feeling more and more stupid. "Yeah... I kind of do..." When he was safely wrapped in Sebastian's arms, he muttered. "I was just so happy, you know? Being out with you and being... being yours... I couldn't handle you talking about someone else. That way." He pulled away and looked up at Sebastian. "I know I messed up and probably deserve some kind of punishment, but can we try something else? Can I... Can I make it up to you?" He reached down to place his hand on Sebastian's crotch.

"Are you sure?" Sebastian raised an eyebrow. "You do kind of deserve a good spanking right now..."

"I know," Jim purred. "But you know I will be deserving another one soon and this isn't really a good place for it..." He glanced around, then sank slowly to his knees. "Wouldn't you rather have a blowjob? Here? Wouldn't that be kind of... hot?"

"Go on then." Sebastian's eyes twinkled. "We'll see if you can make it up. If not, we'll take care of that at home."

Jim paused, his fingers on the zipper of Sebastian's jeans. "Oh no," he said, grinning up at him. "You can't have both. Blowjob or punishment. You choose." He licked his lips slowly.

"Just make it good enough and I won't need both." Sebastian grinned.

"No." Jim lowered his hand. "I want to give you a good blowjob because I want to make it up to you. Because I want to make you feel good. Not because there'll be consequences if I don't. Then I'd rather just get it over with."

Sebastian stroked his cheek. "Can't I tease you just a little?"

"Yes," Jim said, leaning into the touch. "But not about this. Not about agreements and deals." He raised his hand again. "So tell me. Do I suck you or drop my pants?"

"Suck me," Sebastian whispered.

"Good choice." Jim got Sebastian's clothes out of the way and gave him a few licks first, feeling quite good about his little victory.

...

As Jim had predicted, he had managed to earn himself another spanking by the time they got to Sebastian's flat. Despite his giggly protests, Sebastian had pulled down his pants and bent him over his knee the second the door had closed behind them and then given him his longest spanking yet.

Jim almost cried ‘colonel’ a few times, but just then Sebastian would pause, caress him a bit and then, when Jim was starting to relax, begin spanking again.

When he finally stopped, Jim was feeling dazed, sore and more horny than he would like to admit.

Sebastian cuddled and praised him while preparing him slowly, fucked him for almost an hour and then held him until he fell asleep.

Chapter Text

The next week passed quickly. Sebastian began filming with Tony, and Jim had costume fittings and a read-through for his own movie. The night before he was to start filming, Sebastian put the collar on him ("To remind you who you belong to") and fucked him hard. Jim tried provoking him, but Sebastian refused to spank him, pointing out that they couldn't risk even a hint of bruising.

Jim knew he was right, but it didn't stop him from pouting and being even more difficult. He only settled down when Sebastian showed him a black leather paddle from his collection and promised he'd get acquainted with it as soon as filming was over.

Making the film turned out to be a lot of fun. Three of the other actors were Jim's age or younger, fairly new in the business and very very eager. There was a lot of giggling and silly accidents and Angelo was cursing at them almost non-stop, swearing that there wouldn't be two minutes’ worth of usable film after they'd been at it for three days. Jim knew he was exaggerating, of course. He'd been in the business long enough to know what you could get away with on film and what you couldn't.

The Master was one of the regular actors, Dave, whom Jim had often seen but never spoken to before. He was big, handsome and capable of delivering his few lines fairly convincingly. After watching him film with the first of the other boys, Jim pulled him aside to let him know that while it was good he was being so gentle with the new kids, he shouldn't hold back with Jim. "It'll be the last scene in the film," Jim told him, "so let's give them something to talk about."

And they did. Dave pounded him so hard that Jim almost broke character and begged for more. They went through all the scripted positions and then threw in a few more, just for good measure.

Afterwards they all went out for drinks. Sebastian, Tony and a couple of the other actors joined them and things got pretty wild with one of the new guys hooking up with a cameraman, Tony getting up to dance on a table and a tipsy Angelo showing up after midnight, buying them all champagne and telling them how proud he was.

…

Jim woke up first that morning, freed himself from Sebastian's embrace and tiptoed to the bathroom for a long, hot bath. When he returned, he found Sebastian awake and ran over to kiss him.

"Good morning," Sebastian purred, pulling him on top of himself. "How are you feeling? Still sore from Dave?"

"Hardly," Jim said, giggling and squirming to get comfortable. "He may have been eager, but he could never measure up to you."

"Of course not." Sebastian grinned. "You are so very spoiled..."

"I know..." Jim nuzzled Sebastian's neck. "I'm very very lucky."

"As long as you remember you're mine." Sebastian slid a possessive hand over his bum.

"Of course I do," Jim said, arching his back. "How could I ever forget that? When you are so good at reminding me?"

"Hmm. Good." Sebastian reached up for a deep kiss. "I think I'll just keep you in bed all day," he said when they broke apart. "Maybe tie you up so you can't even think of getting away from me."

"You can't stop me from thinking," Jim pointed out, grinning. "But you are welcome to try."

"Am I? Good..." Laughing, Sebastian flipped them over, pressing him into the mattress and snogging him messily.

When he pulled back, he kept his weight on Jim but flung out an arm to rummage in the bedside drawer. He pulled out a soft and rather long rope and began threading it through the bars of the headboard before tying Jim’s wrists above his head in an elaborate but comfortable knot.

“There,” Sebastian purred, sitting up on his knees so he was no longer crushing Jim. “Completely at my mercy again. It really has been too long.” He bent and licked Jim’s left nipple.

"It's been a week," Jim pointed out. "And you were the one who didn't want to do any fun stuff while we were filming." He tugged a bit at the rope. "So now what?"

"Now you lie down and enjoy," Sebastian said, flicking his tongue over the nipple again. "I'm in no hurry. I'll have you here all day, remember?"

"Take your time." Jim closed his eyes and sighed. This was just what he needed. Just lying here without having to worry about doing anything while Sebastian took care of him.

Sebastian spent a long time kissing, licking and sometimes softly biting every inch of his body. But then, as he had reached his thigh, he suddenly slapped the side of it. "You're not filming again soon, are you?"

"Not before our foursome," Jim said, grinning. "And Angelo hasn't approved the script yet, so there's plenty of time." He almost brought up the casting, but figured this wasn't the right time. Sebastian was clearly planning something interesting.

"Hmm... So I can mark you. I can make sure that the next time Dave and your little friends see you, they're also reminded that you're mine." Sebastian bit his leg rather hard.

Jim gasped. "They... They already know. But..." He raised his head to look at Sebastian. "Don't mark me too much. I'd prefer being able to go outside without looking like a victim of domestic abuse. So keep it under the clothes, okay? And nothing too extreme. I'm really not into pain. Not like that."

Sebastian rose from his leg slowly. "Do you really think I'd actually hurt you?"

Jim frowned. "I... No... I just mean... You've got all of that stuff..." He glanced over at the cupboards. "And you do like to play rough. I just don't want it to get out of hand."

"I'll keep you safe," Sebastian promised. "Safe... and glowing." He got off the bed and opened the cupboard, his hand immediately flying to the paddle.

Fuck... Jim had completely forgotten about that. "No..." he squeaked. "Sebastian... I've been a good boy. All week I've been a good boy."

"Playing with all those other guys without me? Letting Dave take you like that? Oh, I know it was necessary... But it wasn't good." Sebastian grinned and smacked the paddle down on his own palm.

The sound was so loud. Jim wanted to beg some more, but just then his body decided to betray him and he closed his eyes as his cock began hardening.

"Fine... I've been bad..." he huffed. "Just get it over with..."

"Get on your knees," Sebastian ordered. "The rope's long enough and you should be able to turn your wrist comfortably. If not, you'll have to call for my help."

"What?" Jim was about to protest, but the paddle in Sebastian's hand made him stop. So he rolled onto his stomach and, with a lot of shuffling and squirming, managed to get himself up on his knees and elbows, his hands held awkwardly crossed in front of him. "Like this?" he asked, looking over his shoulder at Sebastian. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather untie me and we could get more comfortable?"

"Very sure." Sebastian chuckled and stepped closer. "Eyes front."

Jim should have expected it, but he was still startled as the paddle came down on his arse as soon as he'd complied. It gave a loud smack, and Sebastian repeated it immediately.

Jim cried out. "Fuck... Sebastian... That really hurts...!"

But he was not going to stop him. Because with each new slap, Jim could feel the heat spreading through his skin and his cock harden. He let his head hang down, panting, as he focused on the feel and sound of the hard leather against his skin and on the thrill of the expectation, never knowing precisely when it would hit again.

"Fuck..." he groaned. "Don't... Don't stop..."

But Sebastian did stop all too soon, gently stroking his arse cheeks with the paddle. "You haven't been that bad..."

Jim whined. "Please..."

It had felt so good. He had felt so good. So helpless and used and... relaxed... He let himself slump forward, letting his face and chest rest against the mattress. His head was still buzzing and felt wonderfully light. "Does it have to stop now?" he muttered, not sure Sebastian would hear him.

Sebastian gave him a very light pat with the paddle. "You can always beg for more..."

After a brief internal struggle, Jim's dignity won and he shook his head. "No... It's fine... I'm good..." He laughed.

Sebastian let it come down once, harder this time. "Are you sure?"

"Ow... I... Yes... Stop..." He squirmed, twisting away from Sebastian. The daze was wearing off and it was beginning to hurt. A lot.

"Okay." Sebastian threw the paddle on the bed and petted his skin with his hands. He kissed Jim's lower back. "I think you've earned a treat."

"That wasn't my treat?" Jim let out a muffled giggle.

"Hmm, no, that was mine." Sebastian spread his arse cheeks just a little.

"You enjoyed it that much?" Jim's legs were beginning to shake. "Do I... glow?"

"Oh yes, you do." Sebastian kissed his arse cheek. "Do you want me to take a picture?"

"With my phone," Jim said. "I don't want you showing it off."

"Alright," Sebastian said. "But the quality won’t do it justice, so I’ll have to show you again sometime with a better camera…" He got off the bed and grabbed Jim's phone from the nightstand, then moved around, the phone making its fake shutter sound almost ten times before he returned and held the screen in front of Jim's face. "What do you think?"

Seeing it for himself somehow made it burn more. Jim twisted, trying to find relief. "Sebastian... It really hurts now."

Sebastian kissed his temple as he put the phone back on the nightstand. "I'll find you some ice. Can you get comfortable or do you need help?"

"Can you... loosen it a bit?" Jim pulled on the rope. "Just a little?"

"Sure." Sebastian fiddled with the knots. "You can lie down now. Is there anything else you need? An extra pillow or something?"

"No... It's fine..." Jim sank down on his stomach with a painful groan. "Just... get the ice..."

"Right away, sir." Sebastian winked and rushed off.

Jim was on the verge of tears by the time Sebastian returned. But as soon as the ice touched his aching skin, he could relax again. The feeling was still very intense, but it was also soothing and as Sebastian used his other hand to stroke Jim's back, he was soon happy and content again.

"You're so beautiful like that," Sebastian muttered, petting him and actually scratching a little at his neck and behind his ears. "And after, when you relax, you really look like a kitten."

Jim arched his back a little. "Are you saying you miss the ears? The tail? Or will the collar be enough?"

"Oh, I don't need them anymore to see you as a kitten." Sebastian chuckled. "If you want them, you'll have to ask for them."

"Maybe some other time." Jim sighed. "This is nice. You taking care of me. Makes it almost worth it."

"Almost?" Sebastian asked, starting to apply a little more pressure on the muscles of Jim's neck and upper back.

"Almost..." Now that it was over, Jim had no intention of letting Sebastian know how much he'd loved it. Not yet, anyway. He'd be way too smug. "Though I do hope you know this means you won't be fucking me today, because my bum will definitely need more time to recover."

"We'll see." Sebastian sounded amused as he reached into the drawer again. "Not too cold?" he asked then, shifting the towel-wrapped ice pack a little.

"A bit," Jim lifted himself up enough to turn his head to look at Sebastian. "It feels a lot better now."

"Then let's put it aside and you can ask for it if you need it." He flung it to the nightstand and then held up the bottle of oil in his other hand. "Makes things easier, too." He straddled Jim's bum but kept his weight off it, and poured some oil into his palm.

It was, as usual, a wonderful massage. Afterwards, Sebastian lay down and held him in his arms as Jim drifted off.

...

He was woken up several hours later by two stomachs growling in unison.

"Guess I should go get us some breakfast," Sebastian muttered, turning to look at the clock. "Well... Lunch..."

"Brunch?" Jim snorted and then pulled Sebastian close. "Kiss me first. A really good one."

"As opposed to all the others?" Sebastian chuckled and caught his lips.

Jim growled playfully and then groaned at a sudden pain in his shoulders. "Ow..." he pulled away. "How long was I tied up?"

Sebastian frowned. "I'm sorry. Too long, it seems." He stroked a hand over Jim's shoulder blades. "Would you like another massage before I get us some food?"

"Food is more important," Jim said, rolling his shoulder. "Though you may have to feed it to me."

"Ooh. Promises..." Grinning, Sebastian disappeared to the kitchen.

When Sebastian brought in the food, Jim's shoulders had recovered enough that he could use his arms without feeling like he was going to die. But Sebastian still insisted on feeding him little bits of bacon and toast as well as several grapes and a slightly stale chocolate muffin.

When they were done Jim helped him with the dishes. "So what now?" he asked. "Do you want to tie me up again or am I allowed to remain free?"

"Hmm..." Sebastian studied him. "I haven't made you come yet..."

"Right..." Jim grinned. "Well, I don't necessarily have to be tied up for that, do I?"

"No..." Sebastian smirked. "Maybe I want you a bit more active for this. Unless you'd rather not..."

"Well, I believe I owe you an orgasm too." Jim smiled up at him. "So what do you suggest?"

Sebastian stared into the distance as though he were looking at an audience. "To suck and to be sucked..." he proclaimed.

Jim snorted. "Right," he said. "Get on the bed. I want to be on top this time."

"Sir, yes, sir!" Sebastian rushed off, leaving the last few plates.

"Prat!" Jim called, but then hurried after him, practically launching himself onto the bed.

Chapter Text

As they lay snuggling again, Sebastian said into Jim's hair: "Maybe we should go out after all. Get some air..."

Jim considered for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah, I guess some fresh air wouldn't hurt. Though we should probably get dressed first."

Sebastian pouted. "So I can't show you off like this?"

"Personally I wouldn't mind," Jim assured him. "But I doubt we'd make it far before getting arrested."

"Fine..." Sebastian rolled onto his back and stretched. "They don't know what they're missing. Unless they buy our DVDs..."

"And we do want them to buy those, so let's not give them too much for free. Besides, it's much too cold outside." Jim shifted to the side of the bed and got to his feet. He'd moved some of his clothes here a while back and picked out his loosest jeans and a comfortable old t-shirt.

"Guess you have a point." Sebastian got up too. "Let's go have that walk so I can take you to bed again."

"You're such a romantic," Jim teased, putting on his pants carefully before pulling on the jeans.

...

"Let's take a bus," Sebastian said when they had finally made it outside. "I have an idea where we can go."

"Yeah? Where?" Jim took Sebastian's hand, twining their fingers together.

"It's a surprise." Sebastian leaned in and kissed the tip of his nose.

"Is it a good surprise?" Jim asked, trying to catch Sebastian's lips.

"Of course." Sebastian grinned and let him have a proper kiss.

They continued snogging while waiting for the bus. Jim tried guessing their destination based on the route Sebastian picked, but there were just so many options.

"When are you going to tell me?" he asked, when they were seated on the top deck, his hand on Sebastian's thigh.

"You'll see when we're there," Sebastian said, pulling him even closer with an arm around his shoulders.

"Can't you even give me a hint?" Jim nuzzled Sebastian's neck, making a purring sound.

"Hmm..." Sebastian thought for a moment. "It will be like looking into a mirror."

"So we're going to look at art?"

Sebastian chuckled. "Something like that."

"Museums are boring." Jim crossed his arms and looked out the window.

"Then it’s a good thing we're not going to one," Sebastian said.

"So we're not going to look at art?"

"Nope. Unless you count the wonders of nature."

Jim gasped. "We're going to the zoo? Are you saying I look like a monkey?"

Sebastian snorted. "No... But I read in the newspaper that there are leopard cubs. Kittens!"

"Awh...." Jim practically melted across Sebastian's lap. "Babies? Are they small and fluffy? Can I hold one?"

Sebastian giggled and ruffled his hair. "I'll see what I can do."

…

Jim could not keep from bouncing while Sebastian bought them tickets. As soon as they were let into the zoo, he dodged a couple of guys who were decorating a large Christmas tree and ran over to check the large map for the feline enclosures. "This way!" he called to Sebastian, pointing. "Let's go. Hurry!"

Sebastian laughed. "Do you think they're planning their escape? Because I'm pretty sure they'll still be there if we go look at the penguins first..."

"I don't care about them. Or the elephants, hippos or even the unicorns!" Jim stamped his foot, vaguely aware that he was attracting a lot of attention. "I want to see the kittens! Now. Take me to the kittens!"

"Calm down," Sebastian said, chuckling and leaning in to Jim. "You don't want me to have to punish you right here, right?"

Jim gasped. "You wouldn't. Not in front of all those people." He looked around at the families and other groups that were making their way past them, a few of them still looking curiously at Jim.

Sebastian just grinned and took his hand. "Come on."

Jim glared at him but followed obediently. "I just want to see the kittens," he muttered to himself.

"Really? You only mentioned that seven times now... I thought you'd like to see the snakes..." Sebastian sniggered and ducked away from Jim's slap.

"You're mean!" Jim stuck his tongue out at Sebastian. "And don't you start threatening with punishment again. I know you're not going to hit me before I've recovered from this morning. And that may take a while." Without thinking, he rubbed his bum, which was still pretty sore.

Sebastian chuckled. "It's just so easy to tease you. But let's go see those kittens, hmm? And hope that I don't pick one to replace you." He winked.

"Or maybe I'll decide to join them." Jim leaned on Sebastian as they walked down the path lined with garlands and unlit fairy lights, feeling ridiculously cheerful.

The leopard and her cubs had been moved to a small enclosure inside the building next to the larger cage where two adults were making the most of the sparse, hazy December sun. So many people wanted to see the new babies that it was hard to find a spot close enough to the glass to get a proper look. Jim tried pushing past an elderly couple, but the woman had surprisingly sharp elbows.

“Sebby!!!” he whined. “I can’t see them.”

“Do you need me to lift you up?” Sebastian asked.

Jim glanced around. “I don’t know… Won’t the others complain?”

“Do we care?”

“I guess not.” Jim made his way back to stand behind Sebastian and put his hand on his shoulders. “Ready?” he asked.

“Of course.” Sebastian crouched a little and caught Jim’s legs as he jumped, hoisting him further up. “Better?”

Jim had to tilt his head a little not to bump it on a beam, but then he saw them. “Oh Seb!” he cried. “They’re perfect! And there's a black one! A baby panther! It's so fluffy and tiny!”

Some people around them were muttering that yes, they’d very much like to see that for themselves too, but Sebastian ignored them.

“Just like you, hmm?” he said.

Jim punched the side of Sebastian’s head lightly. “I’m not fluffy, you dolt. And if you dare call me tiny one more time, I’m dumping your arse. But yeah… I guess I’m perfect too.”

Sebastian sniggered.

“Yeah, perfectly in our way!” a teenager’s voice sounded behind them.

“Hey,” Jim snapped, turning to glare down at the boy in the oversized coat. “If you have a problem, I suggest you go get your own buff boyfriend to sit on.” He cast his girlfriend a withering look. “She’s not much use to you, is she?”

“Jim, behave,” Sebastian said, giving his knee a pat. “I think we’ve had our turn, really. We can always come back later.” He lowered Jim back to the ground.

“No…” Jim squirmed and twisted. “I want to see more. I only got a tiny glimpse.”

“Off,” Sebastian ordered. “Then we can go and see if you can get to hold one.”

“Okay…” Only sulking a little, Jim let Sebastian take him by the hand and lead him back outside.

“Stay here, okay?” Sebastian said. “I’ll go talk to the staff.”

“Okay…” Jim stood for a moment, frowning at the crowd blocking the view of the cubs, but then he noticed one of the other leopards looking at him and wandered closer, holding its gaze. “Hey, kitty,” he said softly. “You’re not fluffy, are you? You’re a big, dangerous kitty?”

“Oh, you think that’s big?” asked a woman sitting on a bench with a sleeping toddler on her lap. “You should go see the tiger. They’ve only got the one right now, and it’s kind of sad, but still… He’s an impressive sight.”

Before Jim could respond, the child snuffled and the woman lost all interest in him.

Then he saw the sign pointing to the tiger’s cage and, figuring it couldn’t be far, he decided to go have a look.

The tiger was, indeed, massive. And gorgeous. It just lay there, looking at nothing in particular. The only sign of life was the restless twitching of its long, thick tail. But as Jim stepped closer to the bars, it focused on him and then bared its teeth and growled.

Jim stood paralysed as the tiger slowly stood up and wandered towards him, letting out an occasional low snarl, its tail now swinging menacingly from side to side in an ever faster rhythm.

When it was only a couple of feet from the bars, it crouched down, its hindquarters shifting as it prepared for attack.

“Jim? Jim? Oh, there you are!” Suddenly, Sebastian’s hand was on Jim’s shoulder.

Jim yelped in surprise and the tiger roared, spun around and bounded away.

"Oh. Sorry, I didn't want to startle you," Sebastian said. "And... Sorry about the cubs. No one is allowed near them. Only staff the mother already trusts."

"Yeah, okay." Jim leaned as close to the bars as possible. "Did you see that?"

"What? The tiger? It's kind of big, so... yeah..."

"No, not that! Well... I mean..." Jim grinned eagerly. "It wanted to eat me!"

"Did it?" Sebastian took a step closer. "Well, I can't blame it..."

"Oh? You want to eat me too?" Jim's giggle faded when the tiger turned to glare at them. "You know... there is something familiar about the way it is looking at me."

"Yeah?" Sebastian smirked down at him.

"Yeah." Jim cocked his head a little. "Right now you look more like a sloth, though. All smug and lazy."

"Oi!" Sebastian laughed. "Tigers can be very lazy..."

"So is that what you want to be?" Jim got up on his toes to give Sebastian's lips a small peck. "My big lazy Tiger?"

"Sure," Sebastian said. "Then I can protect my tiny, fluffy Kitten."

"I'm not tiny!" Jim cried and pushed Sebastian away. "Don't call me that!"

With an angry snarl he whirled around and sprinted off, weaving in and out of the growing crowd.

"Jim! Kitten!" Sebastian ran after him and it wasn't long before he caught him. "Hey, I was just teasing you!"

"You always tease me." Jim bit his lip as he looked up at Sebastian. He tried staying angry, but it was hard when his shoulders were trembling with suppressed giggles. Sebastian looked so cute when he was exasperated.

"But you were teasing me, too! You called me lazy! I mean, I don't mind. I like that we can tease each other. But I don't like actually making you angry..." Sebastian frowned.

"Then don't call me tiny," Jim said wrapping his arms around Sebastian's neck. "Unless... I've teased you first."

"Like you did..." Sebastian reminded him, dipping his head for a soft kiss.

"So I won't get angry," Jim promised, before kissing him a little longer. "Next time..."

When they finally broke apart, Sebastian suggested that they might as well see some of the other animals while they were there. So they walked around the park, hand in hand, just enjoying the more whimsical decorations like the tiny Christmas tree in the penguins' enclosure. After about an hour, in spite of the low temperature, Jim insisted on getting ice cream. In the late afternoon they returned to see the leopard cubs and found the building almost empty, so they could get close to the glass and watch the little furballs, two tawny and brown, one black, sleeping in a huddle by their mother's side.

Jim leaned on Sebastian, smiling happily. "They look so peaceful," he said. "I never felt peaceful. Before..."

"Before you were a Kitten?" Sebastian asked, squeezing him a little closer.

"That's not what I meant," Jim grumbled. It wasn't. Not really. He had been thinking how he'd never had a day like this with Sherlock (or anyone else, really) but with Sebastian it just felt like the most natural thing in the world to spend a whole day looking at animals and feeling good. So instead of sulking, he just laughed softly and whispered: "Thank you."

Chapter Text

The peaceful feeling lasted almost three days.

Sebastian was called into the studio for some dubbing for his film with Tony, and Jim went along because he had nothing better to do. While Sebastian was arguing with the director about exactly how his character should growl a certain line, Jim got the bright idea that he’d check out the records of actors contracted to the studio and have a look at possible candidates for the fourth actor in their next film.

But, as he opened the door to the office, he realised with a cold, sinking feeling that he wasn’t the only one casting that day. Headshots and résumés were spread out over most surfaces in the room, Sherlock standing in the middle of the whole mayhem, eyes closed and hands fidgeting in front of him while he muttered under his breath.

Jim resisted his initial instinct, which was to turn around and leave. Instead he let himself really look at Sherlock for the first time since their breakup. The actor looked like hell. He was unshaven, a sight Jim could not recall ever having seen before. It looked good on him. Sort of softened his face. Made him less intimidating. His hair was longer than it used to be. And had, from the looks of it, not been washed for several days. The usually elegant curls were hanging lank and greasy, almost covering his eyes.

Which, Jim realised with a start, were now open and looking straight at him.

“What?” Sherlock asked, his voice raspy and more tired than hostile. “Have you come to gloat? To remind me that there is no longer a single actor in this company who will work with me? Because, believe me, that is not necessary. I already know.” He gestured at the papers around them.

Jim shook his head. “No, I… I just came to have a look for myself. At the files. For a film.”

“Oh?” Sherlock raised an eyebrow. “So you’re branching out? I thought you’d gone exclusively Moran?” The words were as could have been expected, but the voice didn’t have its usual cutting edge.

Jim managed a small laugh. “Don’t play dumb. You know perfectly well that I’ve just wrapped a project with several other actors. In fact,” Jim pointed to a picture balanced precariously on the back of one of the chairs, “Gareth there was in it. It was his first film here, so he might not have heard too much about you yet. And he’s a really nice kid. If you treat him right, you could probably make a pretty decent actor out of him.”

“Like I did with you?”

Was Sherlock actually teasing him?

“Yeah. Like you did with me. That was all you, right? I didn’t bring anything to our collaboration. Just a cute arse and big adoring eyes, right? And the ability to deliver a line without sounding rehearsed.”

“Rare qualities in this industry.” Sherlock was definitely smiling. A little.

“Yeah, well, Gareth’s bum might not be quite on the same level as mine, but otherwise he’s got what it takes. You should give him a try.” Jim shrugged.

Sherlock picked up the picture and studied it. Then he nodded. “If you say so.” He located Gareth’s résumé and headed for the door.

“Oi!” Jim cried after him. “Aren’t you gonna clean up this mess?”

He didn’t get an answer and he didn’t need one. Of course Sherlock wasn’t going to pick up after himself. He never had. He just automatically expected someone else to take care of such trivial matters.

And somebody probably would. But not Jim.

He was about to leave, figuring he’d come back another day when everything was back in order, when he realised that there was actually a hint of reason to the madness. The pictures were grouped according to body type and then sorted by age and height. The résumés ordered by experience, with one group for those who had only worked for Angelo and another for those who had joined him later in their careers.

How convenient. It would be stupid not to take advantage of that. Jim quickly located the type of actor he was looking for and picked out six. Then he found their résumés (which would have been easier if those had been alphabetised), discarded two of them and then, after careful consideration, one more. That left him with three who all looked good and had sufficient experience. He’d show them to Sebastian and then they could audition one or more of them.

He was halfway down to the sound studio when he realised that he had never actually mentioned his idea of using Pete in the film to Sebastian. Or to Pete, for that matter. He’d better get that done first, before they picked the last guy, or they’d just have to do it all over again.

…

“Of course it sounds alright!” Sebastian’s exasperated voice was audible through the doors. “Seriously, man, have you ever had sex?”

He almost walked into Jim as he bust out. “Oh. Hey, Kitten. Sorry it took so long… They kept going over that same line and I’m just… It’s fine! I’m out. If they want it to sound different, they’ll have to find someone who can imitate my voice.”

"Yeah..." Jim giggled. "That's not going to happen. Nobody can sound as sexy as you."

Sebastian's hard expression softened and he smiled, leaning in for a kiss. "Thanks, Kitten. What have you been up to?"

"Casting," Jim held up the papers. "Looking into it, anyway. But I want your opinion too, since you know more about this particular type of thing."

Sebastian nodded. "I definitely want to have a look. But not here. I've had enough of this place for one day."

"That's fine," Jim said, taking Sebastian's hand. "Do you want to go home? Or maybe out and grab a bite? There's a nice little place around the corner where I haven't been in ages."

"Let's go there," Sebastian agreed.

They picked up their coats and then walked down to the small restaurant which had only just opened for lunch. While they waited for their food, Jim showed Sebastian the pictures he had picked. "I was thinking one of these guys," he said.

Sebastian smirked. "If you're talking about the foursome, a quick count tells me we'll need two of them... Or was it too much after all?"

"I could handle it just fine," Jim huffed. "But I already have someone in mind for the last part. If he's up for it."

Sebastian frowned. "Oh? Who?"

"Well... I know he's never done a film before, but... do you think maybe we could ask Pete?"

"Oh..." Sebastian considered for a moment. "I guess it makes sense to do it with someone we're both comfortable with. I've no idea if Pete wants to do it on film, but... We can always ask."

"Would you?" Jim asked. "You know him a lot better than I do."

"Together?" Sebastian asked, grinning. "We could meet him at the club... Get him in the right mood..."

"I like the sound of that." Jim nodded eagerly. "I really liked being with him. He's so different, you know. He looks kinda scary and then he's all gentle and sweet."

Sebastian chuckled. "You don't think I'm gentle and sweet?"

"Of course." Jim rolled his eyes. "But it's not the same. We're together. I expect you to treat me like that. Sometimes. But Pete had a chance to fuck his wet dream and he... he was just really great about it. Like he cared more about making it good for me than his own pleasure."

Sebastian smiled. "Sounds like Pete. That's why he's great at what he does." He hesitated, then said: "You really didn't like Ronald, then?"

"He's okay," Jim said reluctantly. "I mean, it wasn't exactly bad or anything. It was just like... He didn't get my signals and I know that's because he doesn't know me that well, but at the time, to me, it felt like he didn't really care."

"Okay," Sebastian said. "I'm pretty sure he does. Care. But if he makes you feel like that, I get why we still need to cast someone."

Jim felt like a jerk, but he just wasn't comfortable with Ronald. "Do you think he'll mind? That we want Pete and not him?"

"I don't know... Maybe he doesn't want to be in a film anyway." Sebastian shrugged. "I have no idea. But he's a professional. He knows that it just doesn't click with some subs, so I'll talk with him and I'm sure he'll understand."

"Good." Jim pushed one of the pictures towards Sebastian. "What do you think of this one? Too pretty?"

Chapter Text

"Are you sure you don't mind if we begin without you?" Pete asked, hesitating in the door to the private room they had booked for the night.

"Yeah." Sebastian smiled. "I just feel like I should talk to Ronald first. I don't want him to find out that we're here from someone else."

"Of course. It's just... We can wait for you. We really don't mind." Pete was, it seemed, making a valiant attempt not to let his eagerness show. It wasn't working and Jim decided to spare him the effort by kissing him hard while kicking the door shut, belatedly hoping it wouldn't hit Sebastian.

With an excited grunt, Pete dropped the small bag he had brought and picked Jim up, carrying him to the bed. "Finally alone," he moaned against Jim's lips. "I have been dreaming about this, you know. About all the delightful things I could do to you."

Jim giggled and felt a shiver run down his spine at those words. It was strange, really. A few months ago, words like that would have bothered him or even scared him, but now, he just found them incredibly arousing. Either Sebastian had been right about him all along or he had changed, adapting to these new experiences. However it had come about, the fact was that right now, he was most definitely a sub and even though Pete wasn't his Dom, he did have Sebastian's permission.

"I'm all yours," Jim purred, letting himself be spread out on the bed and close his eyes as Pete began undressing him.

When the last piece of clothing was removed, Pete pulled away. Jim waited for a moment, trying to hear what he was up to, but when there were no sounds at all he opened his eyes. Pete was just sitting there, kneeling on the bed, watching him with a very wide grin.

Now that was hot. Jim's cock, which had been hardening slowly since they began kissing, sprang to immediate attention and Pete laughed.

"Oh, you like that, do you?" he teased. "Being put on display? Well, it only makes sense, doesn't it? With your line of work?" He kept talking as he turned and leaned over to the side of the bed to rummage through the bag. "At any given moment, strangers could be watching you. Do you ever think about that? Right now, somewhere, some man could be touching himself, watching you. Watching you get touched and fucked and used. Because that's what you do on film, isn't it, sweet Jimmy boy? Let people use you?" Jim felt a small twinge of anger at those words, but also more heat in his stomach and his groin. He closed his eyes, choosing to focus on the excitement Pete's words caused. "And you do it so beautifully." Pete was moving closer now. He took Jim's hand in his, brought it up to kiss the palm and then clicked a cold metal ring around his wrist. Handcuffs...

Jim grinned and Pete laughed.

"Oh, you dirty little slut. You like that too, huh?" Pete took hold of Jim's other arm and soon had his wrists cuffed together. "Just one more way for you to be made completely available to your partner. You hold nothing back, do you? You let them take it all. Anything they want?"

Jim wanted to play along, but now seemed the time to show that he wasn't a complete amateur at this. "You... You do know the word, right?" he asked softly.

"Of course," Pete said, giving Jim's nose a little kiss as he raised his arms above his head and let go of them. "Sebastian made sure of that. Pity, really. I would love to see that beautiful mouth gagged, but then we'd have to work out another signal and we don't want to waste time on negotiations tonight, do we?"

Jim shook his head. "No," he agreed. "Let's make the most of it."

Instead of answering, Pete kissed him and then began kissing and licking his way down Jim's body. He paused at the nipples, giving them extra attention, licking and biting them, but never too hard. Jim wondered at the back of his mind whether Pete remembered how sensitive they were from their first encounter or if he was able to read Jim's reactions so well he knew exactly how much he could take and when to stop.

In Jim's opinion, Pete moved on much too quickly, but then again, they didn't have much time before Sebastian would return and, most likely, take charge of things. So Jim couldn't blame him for being in a hurry.

As he felt Pete's breath on his cock, he gasped and was about to protest. But Pete chuckled. "Don't worry. I've got the condom right here. I know what I'm doing." There was a pause and then Pete grabbed the base of Jim's cock, steadying it as he took the head between his lips. It felt strange. Tight. And as he moved down, sucking it in slowly, Jim realised what he must be doing.

He raised his head and stared down at him. "How the hell did you do that?" he asked as Pete sat back up, grinning smugly.

"Trick of the trade."

Before Jim could ask more, Pete bent down and began sucking him in earnest, showing Jim that his own skills still left much to be desired. Well, maybe Pete could teach him...

He found himself on the brink of orgasm far sooner than he would have expected. But instead of stopping, as Sebastian always did, telling him he did not have permission to come yet, Pete just sucked deeper and harder and Jim let out a strangled cry as he filled the condom.

Pete quickly cleaned him up and then moved in for a sloppy kiss before sitting back and smiling at him. "Let me guess," he said. "You're usually not allowed to come before the end, right? And then only from Sebastian."

Jim nodded.

"Well, Sebastian isn't here," Pete said, "and he did say we could have fun. I wanted to make you come. I've wanted that since that first night you came here. Not because I'm trying to steal you away from Sebastian or anything. Just because I love the way you look. The sounds you make. I wanted to be the cause of that."

Jim laughed and shook his head. "You make me sound so special," he said. "I'm just an actor."

"Not to me." Pete settled down next to him and kissed him again, letting his hand run lazily down Jim's chest and stomach. "You're gorgeous, you're precious and you are even sexier in real life than on film."

Jim didn't quite know how to respond to such praise, so he tried for a modest smile. "Thank you."

Pete seemed content to just kiss and touch for a while and Jim began to wonder if he was just waiting for Sebastian to return. But then Pete pulled away.

"Can I ask you something?" he began. "Something very personal?"

"You can try," Jim said reluctantly, "but I can't promise you an answer. Especially not if it involves Sebastian."

"It sort of does," Pete said, sitting up cross-legged, which was rather distracting because Jim, for the first time that night, got confirmation that Pete wasn't wearing anything under his kilt. "It's about last time you were here. That little game you and Sebastian played. With you being a brat and him... taking care of you... That was the first time, wasn't it? Your first punishment?"

Jim felt himself blushing, but there was really no point in denying it. Pete had seen the whole thing play out. He was no fool. So he wasn't asking for information. He was getting at something.

"Yeah..." Jim said, exaggerating his reluctance a little, which seemed to be exactly what Pete had hoped for. He wanted to see Jim embarrassed. Vulnerable. "I'd always refused that kind of stuff. Spanking and such."

"But..." Pete prompted, and when Jim didn't continue, he urged: "How was it? Don't tell me you didn't like it. You were on fire afterwards."

"It was... nice..." Jim admitted. "I hadn't expected it to be so arousing. Not so much the pain as the... the..." He couldn't quite find the word.

"The discipline," Pete supplied. "The fact that though you were the one bent over, getting your bottom spanked, you were somehow the master of that situation. That you had brought yourself to that point. You had finally gotten what you wanted. What you needed."

Jim bit his lip. "I suppose..."

"Darling Jim," Pete said, stroking his cheek softly. "You are a brat. Some subs like to obey, others enjoy humiliation. Personally, when I'm on the receiving end, I just can't get enough pain, but you... You like consequences. You act up and provoke your partner until you get the desired response. A spanking or flogging would be just pointless pain to you if you didn't feel like you had earned it, am I right?"

He waited for Jim to give a small nod, then carried on. "You're quite a handful. I hope Sebastian knows what he's gotten himself into."

"He hasn't got a clue!" Jim snorted.

"Oh, I expect he knows more than you think." Pete gave Jim's ribs a small poke, making him squirm and giggle. "He knew enough to read you that day. I would never have taken that risk. It's quite a big step in any dynamic and just going for a spanking without any kind of negotiation and in front of two pros... That was... daunting..."

Jim looked into Pete's eyes and saw an echo of how he had felt that night. That something big was happening. Something he couldn't turn away from once he'd allowed it.

So he nodded. "Sebastian's amazing. I am very very lucky to have him."

"You are," Pete agreed. "And I am very very lucky that he lets me play with his favourite toy. Now... What I actually wanted to ask... Are spankings something special between you? Like, is Sebastian the only one who can punish you or is there a chance, you think, that I could get a go? Because you do have quite an incredibly spankable bum."

Jim was lost for words. He had never even considered that. The spankings and all that had added a new aspect, not only to their sex but to their whole... relationship? He liked the idea of Pete spanking him, but would that be wrong? Would that be cheating on Sebastian in some way?

"I... I don't know," he said honestly. "I guess you'd have to..."

"Ask Sebastian," Pete finished for him. "Of course, I was going to do that anyway, but I want to know how you feel about it. If you would be okay with it."

Relieved, Jim nodded. It wasn't his decision to make. "Sure," he said. "I'd like that. But only if I deserve it, of course."

"Of course," Pete agreed. He gave Jim another nudge. "Roll over. I may not be allowed to spank your arse yet, but there's plenty of stuff I can still do to it."

Eagerly, Jim rolled onto his stomach, spreading his legs a little and, just as he'd hoped, it didn't take Pete long to have two slicked fingers deep inside him, pumping slowly and hitting him just right.

"Fuck!" Jim gasped. "You're so good at that!"

"I've had a lot of practice," Pete said, twisting his fingers. "But I must say, I rarely enjoy it as much as I do with you. I mean... Do you have any idea how sexy you are? The way you just... exude pleasure. That's what I love about your movies. I want to feel what you're feeling. And I want to be the one to make you feel that way. All at the same time."

"You don't have to flatter me, you know... You will most definitely get to fuck me tonight. Soon, I hope." Jim raised himself up on his elbows and turned his head to look back at Pete, who stopped moving his hand.

"Is something wrong?"

"Not at all," Jim said. "It's just... What you said about my movies. About wanting to be the one who made me feel like that. How would you like to actually do that? In a movie, I mean?"

"Oh... I..." Pete pulled his fingers out and wiped them on the towel he'd brought. "I don't... I don't know... I mean, I know I fuck people for a living but still... It's kind of a big step to do it on film. It's like... It's out there..."

"Right..." Jim tried turning around and sitting up, which wasn't easy with the handcuffs on. Pete quickly helped him and when he was settled comfortably, Jim went on: "I understand if you don't want to. I guess there are people in your life that you don't want to see you like that. Or even know you do those kinds of things."

It was Pete's turn to snort. "Oh no," he said. "It's not like that. I have no family left to speak of, except an older sister and she's walked in on me in too many compromising situations to give a fuck anymore. It's just... I don't want people laughing at me. Like those horrible amateur things people shoot at home and sell to magazines. That stuff is painful to watch. I'm not like you and Sebastian. I... I just don't think I've got what it takes."

"Are you kidding me?" Jim asked. He waddled on his knees to the side of the bed. "Help me stand," he said.

Pete quickly got to his feet and helped Jim up, then followed him over to the large mirror by the door.

"Strip," Jim told him. "And then come stand next to me."

Hesitantly, Pete obeyed, keeping his eyes on Jim.

"Now look at us together," Jim said, changing his stance subtly to become more submissive. It took Pete a moment, but then he adapted to Jim, straightening his back and shifting his stance. "Don't we look good together?"

Pete tried a few different poses. "We do, don't we?" he said, studying himself in the mirror. "I mean... You could make anything look good I guess, but it's not bad. I'd watch us."

"That's a great idea," Jim said, smiling up at him. "Go put a condom on."

With a slightly puzzled smile, Pete went to get a condom. "I'm not fucking you up against the mirror," he said. "Not until Sebastian gets here anyway. You're going to have to work for it tonight."

"Don't worry," Jim said. "That wasn't my plan." He got down on his knees so that he had his side to the mirror. "Come here. And keep your eyes on the mirror. Don't be afraid to touch me. Even pull my hair if you feel like it. Just don't force it too deep."

Pete must have broken some kind of record, getting the condom on and getting in position. He looked down at him as Jim gave him a few slow licks.

"Eyes on the mirror!"

"Sorry...." Pete stroked Jim's cheek tenderly and then turned his head to watch.

Jim gave him a proper film-job, focusing more on how it looked than on how it felt. Every now and then he'd angle his head enough to look up and catch a glimpse of Pete's awestruck expression as he watched their reflections.

He heard the lock being turned in the door behind him and in the mirror he watched Sebastian enter. He was frowning a little, but as soon as he saw Jim and Pete, his expression brightened.

“Ooh. Looks like I’m just in time for the show.”

"Yeah," Pete grinned. "It does look good, doesn't it?"

Jim looked up at Sebastian, catching his eyes for a second before continuing what he had been doing, which was taking Pete in as long as he comfortably could in this position.

Sebastian sat down on the bed, watching them. "Anything you want me to do, Pete?"

"Just tell me how it looks. Honestly," Pete said. "Jim is trying to convince me to do a film with him, but I'm not sure I'd look good on camera."

"Oh," Sebastian said. "He asked you already?"

Jim almost choked and quickly pulled back. Fuck... They were supposed to ask him together. After Sebastian had talked to Ronald and explained things. How could he have been so stupid? Was he really so vain that a little praise was enough to make him forget everything?

"Yeah, I..." he said, getting awkwardly to his feet. "We were talking about my movies and it sort of... came up..." He tried looking apologetic, but the handcuffs and messy hair probably weren't helping.

Sebastian shrugged. "It's fine. I was just surprised."

"Oh?" Pete looked back and forth between them. "He was supposed to wait, wasn't he? For you to get here?"

"Yeah," Jim said sheepishly. He walked over to Sebastian and got down on his knees in front of him. "Sorry?"

Sebastian reached out to pet Jim's neck. "My talk with Ronald didn't go very well. He was a bit weird about... everything, really."

"Oh no..." Jim put his hands on Sebastian's knee. "So I screwed up big? He doesn't want us to use Pete?"

"Hey, it's fine," Pete cut in. "It was nice of you to ask, but... if it's going to be a problem, let's not do it."

Sebastian frowned. "Ronald doesn't get to decide what you do and don't, Pete. As far as I'm concerned, you're still in. He's already acting weird anyway, so... it won't make much difference if we actually go for it."

"Then I'm in," Pete said. "Jim convinced me that I won't be making a fool of myself. Much." He sat down next to Sebastian. "But he did mess up, didn't he? I understand that you two have an arrangement about such things now. That transgressions are dealt with swiftly and effectively?"

Sebastian smiled. "You think he deserves punishment?"

"Oh yes," Pete said eagerly, ignoring Jim's giggles. "And since I, in a way, was the victim of his mischief, maybe I should... take care of it. If you don't mind."

"The victim? You didn't look like you were suffering just now." Sebastian laughed.

"You know what I mean," Pete said, crossing his arms. "He offered me something he didn't know he could deliver."

Jim waited patiently on his knees. Whatever they decided on, he was convinced he was going to enjoy it.

"Fine..." Sebastian smirked. "You can do it. But you'll owe me."

"Sure," Pete said, grinning as he moved a little to the side and gestured for Jim to stand. "Anything I should know before I start?"

"Safeword's still colonel. He can make quite a fuss but that usually means he's enjoying it. And if he goes quiet, you know you're really doing well, but also that he's close to having had enough." Sebastian thought for a moment. "I think that's it. I could go get you some ice for afterward, unless you need me here?" He met Jim's gaze.

"No ice," Jim said, getting to his feet. "As long as he just uses his hand, I'll be fine. And I do want you here. Just in case."

Now that it was actually happening, he found he was a little nervous. He didn't know what to expect from Pete.

It wasn't that he thought he might hurt him, but it still felt better to have Sebastian there. In fact...

"I know it's silly," he muttered, "but could I get a hug? First?" He bit his lip as he met Sebastian's eyes.

"Come here." Smiling, Sebastian got up and wrapped his arms around Jim. He bent his head and kissed him.

"Awh..." Pete moaned. "Could he be any more precious? Where can I get a sub like that?"

Jim ignored him, resting his head on Sebastian's shoulder, enjoying the safe feeling.

But it didn't last long.

"Come on," Pete called. "Get your naughty arse over here so I can teach you a lesson."

With a dramatic sigh, Jim tore himself away from Sebastian and approached Pete.

"How do you want me?" he asked.

"First of all," Pete said, "I want a kiss. I want you to show me how grateful you are for what I'm about to give you."

Jim really wanted to say something rude about that. With Sebastian he probably would have, but this was Pete's game and he might as well play along. So he bent down and gave him a soft, timid kiss.

Suddenly, Pete grabbed him by the hand and pulled hard, making Jim lose his balance. With the handcuffs it was impossible to catch himself, and he ended up across Pete's lap, his arms and head hanging down.

"Perfect," Pete said, taking a moment to caress Jim's exposed bum. "But I think it'll look even better in red." He gave Jim a couple of quick, soft slaps, making him gasp.

Pete seemed satisfied by this reaction and patted him gently. Then he put his left hand on the back of Jim's head, holding him down, and began spanking him hard and fast.

"Fuck!" Jim cried and tried twisting away, but Pete had a good grip on him and lifted one of his legs a little to keep Jim from sliding off.

"That fucking hurts!" Jim whined, continuing to struggle as the slaps rained down on his stinging bum. This was nothing like when Sebastian spanked him. There was no time to respond or even think. Just feel and...

"Fuck yes..." he gasped when he found an angle that let him rub his cock against Pete's thigh as he wriggled in his lap.

Soon he was panting and moaning. He might have begged for more. He wasn't sure. All he knew was that Pete was about to give him his second orgasm that night and it was going to be good.

"I think that's enough." Sebastian's voice seemed to come from far away.

"Awh..." Pete protested but stopped at once. "We were having so much fun." He rested his hand on the left cheek, rubbing it lightly, making Jim groan with lust and frustration.

"So I saw. Can you hold him up for me? Put him on his knees on the bed?"

"I can try," Pete said, pulling Jim up and supporting him. "But he's pretty far gone. "

Jim wanted to agree, but only managed a weak whimper.

"Yes. I'm counting on that." Sebastian smirked and crawled over to them, and before Jim knew what was happening, his cock was in Sebastian's mouth.

He didn't even have time to enjoy it. Pete pinched his sore bum and the pain combined with the wet heat of Sebastian's mouth had him coming so hard he was convinced he'd passed out for a moment. When he regained his senses, the handcuffs were gone and he was lying on the bed, sandwiched between Pete and Sebastian who were exchanging lazy kisses while their hands drew soft patterns on Jim's skin.

"That was... different..." Jim purred and was rewarded by them both turning their attention to him, kissing and licking his face until he was giggling and begging for mercy.

Pete helped him undress Sebastian and they had a lot of fun using hands and mouths on each other, figuring out interesting positions and combinations for the film. Then, after he had come in Jim's mouth, Sebastian surprised them by producing a fairly small video camera.

Pete was reluctant at first but with a little persuasion, he agreed to let Sebastian film him fucking Jim. He turned out to have quite impressive stamina and Sebastian had almost run out of tape by the time Pete came. He finished Jim off with his hand while Sebastian rewound the tape and then they snuggled up on the bed, watching together on the camera’s tiny screen while Sebastian gave notes and advice about the various positions and angles and how to make it look good.

Watching themselves got both Jim and Pete quite worked up and soon they began snogging again. But Sebastian didn't let them carry on for long before taking charge of the fun.

Both Jim and Pete were quite worn out already, so after a few futile attempts at getting them moving, Sebastian just flipped them both over and had his way with them in turn. He fucked Jim so hard that he could still feel it as he lay, exhausted and sated, watching Pete squirm under Sebastian. It looked good, but they probably couldn't use it for the movie. Not that movie, anyway…

...

"Looks like somebody had a good time last night…."

Jim blinked a couple of times, but couldn't see anything but a spectacular mess of unfamiliar dark hair. Then he heard Sebastian's voice rumble somewhere off to his right:

"Yeah… We did."

"Ooohhh. Sebastian, honey!" a second woman’s voice cut in. "I didn't know you were back."

"Calm down, Vicky," Pete said, nudging Jim off his arm so he could sit up and face the two women. "He's just here to see me."

"Right," said the older of the two women. "That still doesn't give either of you permission to break the rules. You know better than to use these rooms as your own private hotel."

"Sorry about that." Sebastian got up, not bothering to cover himself up as he stepped forward. "We didn't mean to, we just fell asleep…"

"Oh… Are you getting out of shape, honey?" the younger woman, Vicky, said, giving him a long hug. "I remember you bragging that you could go all night and then be ready to hit the gym."

Sebastian chuckled. "That was before I met Jim…"

"Yeah, now he's hitting him instead," Pete quipped, rolling over to the edge of the bed to reach his clothes.

Jim wrapped one of the sheets around himself and shuffled to the other side, wondering what the hell had happened to his jeans.

"You've been making quite a name for yourself," the other woman said, giving Sebastian a hug too. "My Joe's already started collecting your films. Says you're going to be a big star."

"Well, I always was big." Sebastian winked.

Both women squealed and Vicky slapped Sebastian's arm. "Oi. You're as bad as ever!"

While Pete bounded over to get a hug too, Jim managed to dress himself, keeping the sheet over his shoulders as long as he could.

"Now you two naughty boys gather up your toys and get out of here," Vicky said, giving Pete's bum a light slap. "We want to finish cleaning so we can get home and sleep too."

Figuring that was his cue, Jim hurried towards the door, grabbing Sebastian's hand as he passed him. But before he could make it out the door, the older woman cried out: "Oh my lord! I thought that was just a client! Vicky! Vicky, do you know who that is? That's Sebastian's little pet!"

Vicky squinted at him and then gasped. "Holy fuck, you're right!" She turned to Sebastian and shot him an accusing glare. "So the rumours are true? You're shagging him in private too?"

"Well, actually... This was practice." Sebastian grinned. "You see, Pete is going to become a star too, soon."

"Oh wow." Vicky looked over at Pete. "So you're leaving us as well?"

"No way," Pete said, laughing. "This place is my second home."

The other woman had not taken her eyes off Jim. Now she reached up and pinched his cheeks. "You look so different without the ears and nose, but you're still cute as a button. What's a precious thing like you doing with these brutes?"

Jim flinched away and hissed. "I'm not cute, I..."

"Oh, he can get so grumpy when he's woken up too soon," Sebastian said, taking a firm hold of Jim's shoulder and leading him out. "Let's go get some decent sleep. See you later, ladies." He turned his head and winked.

Pete caught up with them in the corridor, clutching his bag and Sebastian's clothes. "What the hell happened, Jim? You looked like you wanted to... you were scary for a second there."

"Good," Jim huffed, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against a door while Sebastian got dressed.

"Jim doesn't like being called cute," Sebastian explained. "Except by me, of course..."

"I don't like it," Jim interjected. "I just let you. Because you're bigger than me."

"But still..." Pete protested, eyeing Jim warily. "It's one thing to not like it and quite another to... want to rip someone's throat out..."

Jim sighed. When Pete said it like that, it did sound a little silly. "Whatever... I'm just... I'm still sleepy I guess..."

"Let's get you home," Sebastian said, pressing a kiss to Jim's temple while he finished the last buttons of his shirt. "Pete, thanks for a great evening. We'll let you know when we can start filming."

"Cheers." Pete grinned at them and tried to stifle a yawn as he slipped out through a door marked 'staff only'.

Chapter Text

They took the script to Angelo, and while he was not completely dismissive of the idea, he needed some convincing. While Sebastian got to work on selling him the idea, Jim gave himself a couple of days off before starting his Christmas shopping. Not that he had a lot of gifts to buy, but he did want to get something for a few guys at the studio. And maybe Pete. And, of course, he had to find something for Sebastian. Something amazing.

He’d been toying with the idea of making himself part of the present, dressing up in one of those strappy bondage outfits he'd seen around the club, but he didn't know for sure if Sebastian actually liked that particular kind of fetish-stuff. And if he did, he probably already had some lying around, so he hardly needed Jim to get him more.

Besides, giving him something like that might make it seem like all he cared about was the sex. That Sebastian was just his Dom. No, he had to get him a proper present. Something you'd give your boyfriend. And then maybe he could give him another one that they could both enjoy in the bedroom. To make sure they both had a merry Christmas.

The proper present was easy enough. Roaming the stalls of one of the many Christmas-themed markets that had sprung up around the city, he found the most perfect watch he had ever seen. The strap was jet-black leather with two lines of steel-grey rivets. The clock face was the same grey with black numbers and hands that looked like miniature wrought iron. It was beautiful and playful but also masculine and somehow... stern... Imagining it around Sebastian's wrist as he reached for Jim made him go weak in the knees and he was definitely blushing as he bought it from the grumpy, elderly vendor.

He considered going to a sex shop to look for the fun present, but it was a cold and windy day and he ended up in a café instead, warming his hands on a giant mug of hot chocolate. While he was blowing the steam away, his eyes fell on an abandoned magazine on the table next to his. It was open on an ad for some new cologne and the image showed a large, gorgeous tiger, looking out at him with regal disdain.

Jim chuckled, remembering the trip to the zoo, and snatched up the magazine. Maybe he should just get Sebastian a t-shirt with an image of a tiger. Maybe not very sexy, but he'd said he didn't mind being Jim's tiger.

Jim tried a couple of clothes shops, but none of them had anything with tigers. One offered to place an order for him, but there was no way they could have it before Christmas, so Jim declined. It had been a stupid idea anyway. And now it was getting late and Sebastian was probably on his way home.

That night Jim had a strange dream. He was walking down a dark street in a part of the city he did not recognise, feeling cold and confused, when he heard the sound of footsteps behind him. They sounded familiar and he turned around, smiling, expecting to see a friend. Instead he found a huge tiger sneaking up on him. Whimpering, he tried backing away, but the street had turned into a dead end and he was trapped.

The giant cat crouched down, licked its lips and flicked its tail, preparing for attack. From its chest came a low rumbling sound that was not quite a growl. Jim closed his eyes.

Suddenly it was upon him, looming over him, its hot breath washing over his body as it took its time examining its prey. Any moment now, he thought he would feel its claws tearing into his skin, its teeth ripping out his throat.

He opened his mouth to scream, but the sound was cut short as soft, warm lips covered his own. His eyes flew open just as Sebastian grabbed him by the shoulders and shoved him hard against the wall.

"You... you saved me?" Jim gasped when his lips were finally released. "The tiger... It was going to eat me."

Sebastian opened his eyes and Jim gasped as he saw they had turned a dark yellow with brown flecks and large pupils so black it was like looking into infinity.

"I was..." Sebastian purred, revealing large, razor-sharp teeth. "I will... But don't you know we cats like playing with our food?"

Jim screamed and pushed hard off the wall, trying to duck under Sebastian's arm. But he tripped and fell to the pavement, rolling onto his back just in time to see Sebastian descending on him.

"Jim?" Sebastian was hovering above him and for a moment Jim wasn't sure if he had woken up. "It's okay, Kitten. It was just a dream. You're safe."

"No! Don't!" Jim cried, trying to fight free. "Don't eat me!"

"Eat you?" Sebastian sounded puzzled, but didn't let go of him.

Jim blinked. It was still dark in the bedroom, but he could make out enough to realise that Sebastian no longer had a tail. He grabbed him by the hair and pulled him down until they were nose to nose, so he could see his eyes. "Blue," he breathed, trembling with relief.

"What?" Sebastian frowned. "What were you dreaming? You're not making any sense."

Jim felt heat rising in his cheeks. He was not telling Sebastian about this dream. Ever.

The closeness provided the perfect excuse and he surged up to kiss Sebastian.

Sebastian seemed hesitant for a moment, but then he shifted and hummed against Jim's lips. "Oh... You weren't having a bad dream at all, were you?" He pressed his leg against Jim's crotch. "Do you want me to eat you?"

"Eating me would be such a waste," Jim purred, grinding softly against him. "Don't you think?"

"I don't know..." Sebastian bit Jim’s lip. "You're so tasty..."

Jim giggled. "You can't have your Kitten and eat it too..."

"No?" Sebastian smirked and moved down his chest, licking and biting as he went.

"Oh... well..." Jim grinned and relaxed. "I may be wrong..."

"Very wrong." Cool air rushed over Jim's body as Sebastian threw back the covers and sat back on his heels. He looked up and held Jim’s eyes as he gave a long lick over his cock.

Soon he was pumping three fingers into him while sucking his cock, bringing him right to the edge before he pulled away.

"Tiger..." Jim groaned when he couldn't take it anymore. "Please..."

Sebastian chuckled. "Tell me what you want. Should I fuck you? Or swallow you whole?"

Remembering the burning amber eyes and swishing tail, Jim wanted to beg for both. But this was not a dream and though Sebastian's mouth felt so good, he needed more. "Fuck me!" he gasped. "Hard!"

Sebastian quickly lined up and pushed into him, making Jim cry out. He pinned down Jim's hands next to his head, looking down on him so fiercely that Jim couldn't help being reminded of the tiger again.

He closed his eyes, but it only made him picture it more vividly. The feral grin. The strong, swishing tail.

"Fuck!" he cried as a sudden, powerful orgasm made him clench so hard around Sebastian that he had to stop his thrusts.

"Oh, Kitten…" Sebastian moaned, wrapping a hand around Jim's cock to help him ride the aftershocks. "You feel so good around me. I could never eat you…"

Jim sobbed or laughed. Maybe both. "Tiger..." he breathed. "You already kill me... every day..."

"So do you want some more?" Sebastian asked mischievously, leaning down for a kiss.

"Always," Jim gasped, reaching up to tug on Sebastian's hair again.

Growling playfully, Sebastian began moving slowly. Jim clung to him and when Sebastian had come, they shared a passionate kiss and then drifted off in each other's arms.

Jim's dreams were a pleasant jumble of bared teeth, striped fur, strong arms and that ever-swishing tail.

…

"Hi," Jim said, offering his hand to the tall ginger man. "I'm Jim Mori…"

"Moriarty. I know!" He took Jim's hand in both of his and shook it eagerly. "I'm such a fan. That Kitten film is my favourite film ever." He paused and looked a little sheepish. "I'm Richard, by the way."

"Yeah, I know." Jim giggled. "I called you, right?" Once he'd gotten his hand back, he gestured to Sebastian. "Then I guess you know him too."

Richard nodded. "Yeah. You also did a great job. It made it so relatable, you know. A big strong guy with that adorable Kitten. And if I understand it right, we'll be ganging up on him for this?"

"Yes," Sebastian said, raising his eyebrows a little. He didn't seem impressed by the man's enthusiasm.

"No tail and ears though," Jim said quickly. "That was just for that one film."

"Oh, you're still adorable without them, don't worry." Richard laughed.

When they had been shown to their table, Sebastian began asking Richard rather detailed questions about his on- and off-screen experiences with SM. Hoping none of the other customers in the café were listening, Jim buried himself in the menu. Richard didn't seem fazed and answered confidently, laughing at his own jokes and winking at Jim every time he looked up.

Great. Another beefy ball of testosterone who saw him as nothing but a cute little toy for them to play with. Jim should have never done that stupid movie. They were never going to let him forget it. He should burn that stupid tail.

Or make Sebastian wear it, so he could see what it felt like not to be taken seriously. Yes. That was it. Use his considerable powers of persuasion to talk Sebastian into wearing it to the club next time. Or maybe make him lose a bet…

"So do we get to tie him up?" Richard asked, making Jim glance up from the menu.

"Not for this one, I think." Sebastian was frowning a little. "Perhaps at the start, to show him off before we come in. But once we're there, he'll have his hands full, so we better let him use them."

Richard grinned. "Fair enough. We're going to have so much fun."

"If we hire you, yes." Sebastian gave him a thin, insincere smile.

Jim frowned at Sebastian. Had he missed something? Richard might be a bit full of himself, but he seemed just right for the part Jim had written.

"Well, I don't see anyone else having lunch with you guys," Richard retorted, winking again. "I'm willing to prove myself in an actual audition if you need me to."

"That might be a good idea." Jim looked up at Sebastian. Was he jealous? "Test for onscreen chemistry, like we did with Pete."

"Sure," Richard said. "And I'd love to meet Pete."

Sebastian nodded. "Okay. When do you have time?"

"Right after lunch if you like." Richard shrugged.

"No. Not today," Sebastian cut him off.

Jim flashed Richard his cutest smile. "But don't worry. We'll fit you in as soon as we can. Right, Sebby?"

Sebastian studied Jim for a moment and then gave him a single nod.

The rest of the meal they talked about Richard's impression of London, having just moved there from Liverpool a few months ago, and gossipped about other actors.

On their way home, Jim suggested they cut through the park, being in the mood for the roasted chestnuts they sold at the Christmas market.

Sebastian was quiet most of the way, squeezing his arm almost uncomfortably tight around Jim's shoulders.

"Did you like Richard?" he asked finally.

"He was funny," Jim said, wriggling a little. "And I think we'll look good together."

"Hmm. Are you sure?"

"I can't be sure before we've done a screen test, but he's the right type. And pretty hot. Don't you think so?" Jim suppressed a giggle.

"Yeah, I guess." Sebastian gave him that odd, studying look again. "Are you sure you still want to do this?"

Jim frowned. "Of course. Why should I have changed my mind?"

"You seemed very distracted when he was talking. I thought you were having second thoughts as soon as he was actually in the same room as us."

"Oh. I was just thinking... about the movie," Jim lied, trying to expel the mental image of an embarrassed Sebastian parading around the club wearing fluffy ears and a tail.

"It's fine if you'd rather not do it. You know that, right?" Sebastian was still looking far too serious. "We can change the script. Or blow the plans completely."

"I want to do it," Jim insisted. "Don't you?"

"Of course." Sebastian smiled.

"So we're doing it!" Jim reached up for a kiss.

Sebastian answered the kiss eagerly. "Okay, Kitten. We'll make it a hit."

Chapter Text

Another tiger-dream…

This one wasn't scary at all. Except, perhaps, for how much it turned him on.

Sebastian didn't complain, of course. Being jumped by a horny boyfriend in the middle of the night was pretty high on his list of favourite things. He told Jim so quite emphatically over breakfast and suggested he write his next script about that.

They had a bit of fun with the idea, but it was hard to add any type of plot, so Jim ended up rejecting it. Sebastian acted like he was heartbroken, but still stole a kiss before he left to spend some time at his own flat and do some shopping.

"And I'm not telling you what I'm buying!" he said, grinning before he closed the door behind himself.

Jim just stood there for a moment, his tiger-hazed mind trying to catch up. Then he groaned. Sebastian had been teasing him about his Christmas present and Jim had been too dense to even get annoyed about it.

Well, at least he'd found a good one for Sebastian.

As he cleared the table, it suddenly struck him that maybe the watch was too good. What if Sebastian just got him something small? Then it would get really awkward and Sebastian might feel bad, or maybe think that Jim was being pushy or something.

Jim spent the rest of the morning in a state of mild panic before realising what he should do.

It was quite simple, really. Go out and get Sebastian another present. Something small and preferably a little silly. So, depending on what Sebastian gave him, Jim could select the proper present. Or maybe just give him both of them.

Simple in theory, perhaps. Not so much so when it came to actually finding this present. It couldn't be too small, because what if Sebastian gave him something nice? And not too silly, either, because he didn't want Seb to think that it was just a joke to him.

Over the next few days, he spent every Sebastian-free moment roaming shops and markets. Sebastian wasn't into books and other than the stuff they'd done together, Jim wasn't entirely sure what kind of movies he liked, so a DVD was out too. A witty t-shirt would be nice, but all the ones in Sebastian's size were either about girls or food.

He did see several cute stuffed kittens, but giving him one of those as an actual present just seemed wrong. Like something a clingy teenage girl would do to make sure her boyfriend would be constantly reminded of her.

And did he really want to remind Sebastian of the Kitten? He didn't particularly like the way some guys treated him after the movie had come out. Could he wear the tail and ears again without thinking of them? He supposed there was only one way to find out. To try. If it still worked, it might actually help him clear his mind, so he could finally come up with a good present.

He was waiting for the bus to Sebastian's place when he realised that he no longer had the tail. It had been so messy and matted after the mishap that he had tossed it in the bin.

Making a quick decision, he slipped out of the short queue of tired shoppers and headed for Soho, where Sebastian had shown him a nice shop that wasn't too dungeony.

He was pretty sure the young man behind the counter recognised him, as he did a double take when Jim walked in. But thankfully he didn't say anything about it as he directed Jim to the section for pet play. There were a few other customers in the shop, but as they were focused on either vibrators or restraints, Jim could browse in peace. There were many different kinds of tails and Jim found himself feeling extremely thankful that Sebastian hadn't tried to turn him into a pony. Or a pig!

He was trying to decide between a black and a grey tail when he noticed a small pile of flyers on one of the shelves. On the front was a grinning cartoon wolf and a rather sultry looking cat. Then he realised that they weren't drawings. They were, as far as he could tell, people wearing very elaborate fake fur suits. Especially the heads looked so real, he almost expected the wolf to wink at him.

Jim vaguely remembered some of the guys at the studio talking about people dressing up as animals, both for sex and other stuff, but he'd never realised how comprehensive it all was. These characters looked like they could be walking around a theme park signing autographs to awestruck children.

He picked up one of the flyers and opened it. The pictures inside were not suitable for theme parks. The cat had shed most of her fur and was now only wearing the mask and paws. And a different tail that was pretty similar to Jim's old one, except it was quite a bit longer. Too long for Jim's taste, but as the text below the image promised custom items made specifically for each client, he figured he might as well give it a try.

Ten minutes later he caught a bus heading north. He had called the number in the flyer and after explaining what he was looking for, the woman had suggested he stop by her place to look at samples and sketches. He was a bit surprised that she had time to see him right away, but then again, making something this specific probably wasn't a full-time occupation.

He couldn't help wondering what kind of person she would be. Probably like Sebastian's friends from the club, only with more fur and less chrome. Or maybe a weird artsy type? She was, after all, a fairly skilled designer from what he had seen so far.

Maggie V. lived out in Barnet in a nice little terraced house on a long narrow street. It was definitely not the kind of neighbourhood where you'd expect perverted freaks in catsuits to be lurking. He checked the address again, then went up and knocked on the door.

Almost immediately, footsteps approached and the door was opened by a woman who looked to be mid-fifties, with shoulder-long mousey hair and a thick yellow-and-black striped jumper. “You must be Mr Moriarty! Come in, don’t stay out there in the cold.” She stood aside to let him enter a rather cluttered corridor.

Jim kept his hands deep in his pockets, feeling like he might knock something over if he as much as shrugged. He considered taking off his shoes, but saw nowhere to put them and before he could ask, she had squeezed past him and was heading down the hall. "This way," she said, gesturing for him to follow.

He didn't know what he had expected, but it was certainly not her. Or her workroom, which, at first glance, looked like any other tailoring atelier, except perhaps for the rather excessive amount of fake fur in any colour and pattern imaginable. If he hadn't known any better, he would have guessed that she made stuffed animals for her grandchildren or something.

She seemed content to let him look around for a bit, before she asked: "How can I help you, sir?"

Jim giggled nervously. "Please..." he said. "Don’t call me that. It makes me feel... old..."

"Oh, a sweet boy like you shouldn't worry about that yet," she said. "But if it makes you uncomfortable... You said your first name was James, right?"

"Uhm, yeah, sort of." Jim suppressed a shiver. He was starting to realise he must have misunderstood something. Read the flyer wrong. There was no way that this sweet woman could be making sex toys. There had been some sort of mix-up. The pictures had been put in by mistake. Or maybe there had been more than one number and he had picked the wrong one. He wanted to get the flyer out to have another look, but then she'd see those pictures and…

"So were you thinking of a specific animal, James?"

"I... uhm..." Jim cringed, feeling the heat rise in his cheeks. "Not really, I was just... Just curious." He needed to get out of here. Fast. Maybe he could pretend to get a text... He fumbled for his phone, almost dropping it as he got it out of his pocket.

Maggie frowned. "If your phone call was just a dare, I don't understand why you went to the trouble of actually showing up here. Didn't you mention something about cat tails?"

Fuck... He had told her what he wanted. He hadn't been too specific, but still... "Oh yeah, I... Yeah, I like cats. I..." He was feeling faint. "The flyer said that... There were pictures..."

She nodded. "Were you thinking of a full costume, or just some accessories?"

"Just the tail," Jim said, too quickly, he realised. "And maybe... maybe some ears..." he added, trying to find something to focus on, so he didn't have to look her in the eyes.

"Okay," she said. "I can show you some examples, but if you were thinking of other colours, or different species of big cats, I can work with that, too."

She opened a cupboard where about a dozen tails hung neatly next to each other in a row. Jim was even more certain of his mistake when he looked at the first few and saw that they had ribbons at the top. But then he saw the others. Starting from the middle of the row, all of the tails were provided with plugs of different sizes.

Jim's jaw dropped. How could she be so casual about it? Didn't she know what those things were for?

Then he shook his head. Of course she did. He was being an idiot. Just because she was older and wasn't dressed like a dominatrix didn't mean she was completely clueless. She probably knew a lot more about this sort of thing than he did. He almost laughed at the thought, but suppressed it with a small cough.

"Black. Just plain black, I..." He stopped, staring at one of the tails. "What... What is that?" he whispered.

"The leopard?" She took the long, thick tail from its hook and showed him its fairly small plug before carefully laying it in his hands. It was a lot heavier than his black tail had been. "I could make a shorter version for you, if it's uncomfortable like this."

"Who would even want it that big?" Jim blurted. It would reach the floor even when he was standing. How could anyone crawl with such a thing?

She shrugged. "Tall people. And plenty of customers have mentioned they like it when the tail can be tied around them or their partner, to restrain them a bit or keep them very close... There are so many possibilities with these things. But we can take a look at something smaller if you don't like this."

"Around their partner?" Jim tried to picture it. "So the tail is not just for the... the pet?"

She smiled, her eyes twinkling. "Why would only one of them have the fun? Besides, I think a lot of the people wearing these tails wouldn't really appreciate being called pets. Having a tail doesn't necessarily mean you're of a submissive inclination. Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course. But there are more options than wagging it and being a good boy."

Jim reached out and let his fingers run through the spotted fur. It was so soft. How would it feel wrapped around his wrists? His chest? He shivered and bit back a moan. "I think I know what I want."

Chapter Text

"Do you know what that idiot director said today?" Sebastian bristled as he opened the door. And then his eyes fell on Jim and he dropped his keys. "Oh... I... Wow." He just stood staring at him for a long moment, still holding the door.

Jim wished he could sink into the floor. Or maybe turn into a mouse and scurry away. He shouldn't have sprung this on Sebastian without warning. But as he had been leaving Maggie V.'s house, he'd spotted the set and couldn't resist getting it for himself.

Sebastian licked his lips and finally pushed the door shut. "Silly me," he said as he stepped closer and kneeled in front of Jim. "Of course you don't know what he said, Kitten." He reached out his hand, just stopping short of touching Jim's hair.

Jim could feel himself relaxing and closed his eyes, cocking his head and butting against Sebastian's hand.

"You're lovely," Sebastian murmured, petting him and playing with the new, fluffier ears. "This was just what I needed. A pretty Kitten waiting for me at home to spoil me." He took the collar from Jim's mouth, but put it down next to him and pulled Jim close, lowering his hand to the tail to give it a light tug.

Jim purred and nuzzled against Sebastian's shoulder. How had he gone so long without this? Never again would he let his stupid pride get in the way of feeling this good.

…

"Should I wear the black or the red?" Jim asked, holding both shirts up as he walked back into the sitting room where Sebastian and Pete were slumped on the sofa.

"I think you should go naked," Pete said, reaching for another beer. "Or isn't it that kind of party?" He chuckled and winked at Sebastian.

"Jim..." Sebastian said with a sigh. "You know all eyes will be on you no matter what you wear, right? Can't you just pick something?"

"That's why I can't just pick something," Jim whined. "I have got to look good tonight. Really good."

"The red!" Pete cut in. "Just wear the red. It's fucking Christmas, right?"

"I hope it still will be by the time we get there. At this rate I'd put my money on New Year's," Sebastian muttered.

Pete almost spit out his beer, laughing, and Jim huffed, storming back into the bedroom.

Ten minutes later they got into the taxi, Jim, still pouting, wearing a grey shirt and trying to get his hair to stay smooth.

"I can't believe you didn't go with the red," Sebastian whispered in Jim's ear.

"Are you saying I should go home and change?" Jim asked, frowning.

Sebastian snorted. "Hell, no."

"Then don't complain." Jim leaned in to give him a kiss. "Tell me I look cute."

"You look cute in red, too." Sebastian grinned. "But was 'cute' really what you were going for here? I thought the objective was 'hot'..."

"Why would I want to be hot?" Jim giggled. "I'm not pulling tonight. Unless there's something you haven't told me."

"Oh, there's always room for one more in our bed." Sebastian winked.

"I like the sound of that." Pete laughed and grabbed Jim's thigh.

"Oi!" Jim slapped his hand. "He wasn't necessarily talking about you."

"Sorry, Pete. I was just teasing my Kitten."

"So no room for company in the bed tonight?" Jim looked up at Sebastian, pouting a little.

"Oh, if you really want some, I suppose that could be arranged..." Sebastian looked amused.

"Let's wait and see how the evening goes." Jim leaned against Sebastian and closed his eyes, sighing happily.

…

Richard was standing outside the studio building, all but bouncing on his toes as the three of them got out of the cab.

“You must be Pete!” he exclaimed, wrapping both hands around one of Pete’s before he’d even had the chance to shut the car door.

"Yeah, that's Pete," Jim said, grinning as he joined them. "Pete, this is Richard. The third guy for the film. If we can get Angelo to approve it, of course."

"Hey," Pete said, looking Richard up and down with an appreciative smile. "I’m looking forward to working with you."

"Me too..." Richard gave him a long, hungry look, and Sebastian raised an eyebrow.

"Let's go inside and find Angelo."

Jim had never realised how many people actually worked for Angelo. As they walked into the main studio that had been repurposed for the Christmas party, there seemed to be people everywhere. Actors, cameramen, make-up artists and sound crew. And, of course, writers, directors, editors and a few composers. He knew most of them, but seeing them together like this was quite... daunting... How could he ever hope to run a business this size himself? He could barely keep track of his own schedule.

Sebastian frowned down at him, his hand twitching a little in Jim's tight grip. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Jim muttered. "It's just... loud..."

Sebastian gave his hand a gentle squeeze back and was about to say something, when a high "ohhhhh my gooood!" sounded.

Tony rushed over to them, his eyes on Richard. "That's going to look amazing! Oh Jim, this must be a dream come true to you. Will they be playing twins?"

Sebastian frowned. "Will who be playing twins?"

"You and this pretty boy, of course!" Tony gestured between the two of them and Richard let out a chuckle.

"Hi. I'm Richard..."

Tony pumped his hand eagerly. "Tony!"

"Um, I still don't get it. Why would there be twins?" Sebastian asked, pulling his hand out of Jim's to cross his arms.

Jim snorted. Seeing them side by side like this made it quite obvious. "You do kinda look alike," he said.

Pete nodded. "Yeah... That's the whole idea, right?"

Sebastian stared at Richard. "No... We look nothing alike!"

"I wish," Richard agreed, winking.

"Come on," Pete said. "Same height, same build. You guys even got the same haircut. Just different colours."

"And they don't even realise," Tony said to Jim. "Well done, you!"

Jim winked at him. "I guess you could say I have a type..."

"Yeah. Though it's changed a little, hasn't it?" Tony looked pointedly at the entrance.

Jim looked over his shoulder and immediately wished he hadn't. Sherlock had just walked in, looking as gorgeous and arrogant as ever. And with a possessive arm around the shoulders of Gareth, who was wearing an adoring, slightly dazed look that Jim found all too familiar.

"Oh wow..." Pete gasped and grabbed Jim's shoulder. "That's the other guy, isn't it? From your train film?"

"Pete," Sebastian warned, giving him a sharp look. "No fanboying over him."

"Yeah," Richard said, scrunching up his nose. "He's not as nice in real life as he seems on screen."

"Not just that." Tony's eyes shifted to Jim meaningfully.

"He's a git," Jim muttered, turning away. "Let's hope Gareth comes to his senses before..." He spotted Angelo over by the bar and tugged on Sebastian's sleeve. "Oi. Let's go introduce our cast. He looks cheerful. For now."

Sebastian nodded. "Pete, Richard, come along."

"Yes, sir!" Pete saluted and Richard winked.

"Right away, brother!"

While Sebastian introduced Pete to Angelo, Jim couldn't help but glance quickly over at Sherlock and Gareth as they settled down in one of the sofas with a bunch of the younger actors. Gareth was chatting eagerly while Sherlock, though smiling politely, didn't look like he was paying much attention to the conversation. He was probably going over a scene or some dialogue for the film they were working on. Jim vividly remembered all the times he had been talking to Sherlock for ages, only to find out he hadn't heard a word.

It was only when Pete nudged his arm that Jim realised that he had been doing almost the exact same thing. He turned to Angelo, grinning. "So, what do you think? You have got to admit we look good together, right?"

Angelo nodded thoughtfully. “I can only decide after the screen test, of course. There’s always a risk working with someone who doesn’t have any experience on camera. But if you can make it work… Well, I’m considering it.”

Pete had opened his mouth to say something when a loud cry sounded from across the room:

"You… You bitch!"

Gareth had jumped to his feet and was glaring down at Sherlock, who was still sitting nonchalantly in the large sofa, wearing his least convincing fake smile.

Everybody had stopped talking to stare at them and Sherlock's words carried easily to where Jim stood.

"I'm only stating the facts. If you can't take direction, then maybe you're in the wrong business. Perhaps you should become a mime in Trafalgar Square. More room for fucking up. And your nervous lisp won't be such an issue."

Gareth and two of his friends gasped in unison. "I… I told you that in confidence!" Gareth wailed and, covering his face with his hands, ran from the room, closely pursued by both friends who only spared the briefest of murderous glances in Sherlock's direction.

The room was deadly silent. Somebody had even turned off the music. Or maybe the song had run out and nobody had thought to put on another one. Jim fought to suppress a hysterical giggle.

"Oh, god…" Sherlock let out a long-suffering sigh and rolled his eyes. "I'd almost forgotten how it is, working with amateurs. All those insecurities. Feelings." He looked around at the people closest to him. "How do you guys do it?"

For what might have been the first time in his life, Sherlock had completely misjudged his audience. Maybe because he had not, until this point, paid them any attention. They all knew Gareth, were about the same age as him, and none of them had appeared in more than a scene or two in somebody else's film.

They all made a great show of ignoring Sherlock thoroughly.

For a fraction of a second, Sherlock seemed lost, looking around the room as if searching for something. Then his eyes fell on Jim and his expression changed. Jim wouldn't have been surprised if he had pulled out a gun as he got to his feet.

"You!" Sherlock snarled. "You set me up. You were the one who made me work with the kid in the first place." As he strode across the room, people stepped back, many looking nervous or even scared. "You knew this would happen!" Sherlock raised his hand to point an accusing finger at Jim.

Richard and Sebastian stepped slightly in front of Jim, creating a wall of muscle between him and Sherlock.

Pete tugged on Jim's sleeve and whispered: "Let's get out of here," but before Jim could answer, Angelo stepped in front of him as well.

"Sherlock, calm down," he said. "This doesn't have anything to do with Jimmy. Gareth isn't exactly the first actor to walk out on you…"

Sherlock cocked his head, his eyes blazing. "That's right… Because Gareth isn't the only one you’ve been talking to, right... Jimmy? You've been a busy little boy, running all over the place warning everyone not to work with me. What have you been telling them, Jimmy? How mean I am? That I'd beat them up… No, wait. You're into that kind of thing now, aren't you?" He shifted his eyes to Richard and then quickly over to Sebastian, grinning lewdly at him.

"And how much would you like a beating?" Sebastian clenched his fist and lifted it, but Tony stepped in and gently put a hand on Sebastian's wrist, shaking his head, before turning to Sherlock.

"Jim hasn't been talking about you, Sherlock," he said. "At least not as far as I've heard, but I can't imagine he felt like talking about you at all. That doesn't mean we don't know what's going on. Look at how you just treated that kid. At the way you're talking about everyone else. Jim isn't the problem here."

Sherlock froze completely for a second. Then his furious expression melted away into his usual cool demeanour. "Let me get this straight," he said to Tony. "You're suggesting that I am the problem?" He laughed. "Has anyone in this room made even a tenth of the money that I have earned for this company? Is there anyone in here who hasn't at some point begged me to work with them? Especially after I began working with James. You all saw what I did for him. He was a nobody when he came here. I taught him everything he knows. I made him what he is today."

"You made him miserable is what you did." Sebastian pushed past Tony. "But he got over you. Ages ago. He's making very different films and he's more successful than you've ever been. And there's only one person he's got to thank for that."

Sherlock scoffed. "Who, you?"

Jim felt his stomach clench.

"No, you fucking idiot," Sebastian spat out. "Himself!"

Jim burst into laughter. "Oh Seb…" he gasped, reaching out for him. "You are too… you…"

Sebastian's gaze softened for a moment as he looked at Jim and put his left arm protectively around his shoulders.

Sherlock laughed too. "Really, James? Do you believe that tripe? I guess they weren't lying when they said he'd shagged your brains out. You did always go stupid after a good fuck."

"How would you know?" If Sebastian hadn't been holding him, Jim would probably not have been able to speak up. Sherlock was being so nasty. So cruel. He had never seen him like this.

"Right…" Sherlock nodded sarcastically. "I never got you off. It was all just acting, wasn't it? I mean, we've all seen it, haven't we?" He flung out his arms as if to include everyone present. Or possibly all of London. "What a good actor you are. You almost fooled me…"

Jim's stomach did the thing again. Only now it was like it was trying to curl up on itself and rip him apart at the same time. The only time he had lied to Sherlock had been when they were doing…

"Mind the Gap!" Sherlock announced to the room like a magician about to pull off his greatest trick. "Sweet little Jimmy-boy making his debut on screen. In more ways than one…"

"Sherlock, that's enough!" Angelo barked, and Sebastian let go of Jim to step forward, fist at the ready once again.

"Look at the poor man." The sound of heels echoed through the room as Irene split up the crowd once again, inserting herself between Sherlock and Sebastian. "Jim may be over it, but looking at the scene you're making, I'm not so sure about you, Mr Holmes."

Jim was spared hearing Sherlock's reply as Pete snatched him by the hand and dragged him out the nearest door, leaving Richard and Tony to deal with Sebastian.

Out in the corridor, Pete let go only to pull him into a tight hug. "Fuck, Jim... Are you okay? I'm sorry I ever liked that fucking film... What an arse..."

"It's okay," Jim muttered against his chest. "It doesn't matter anymore. He doesn't matter. He's just..." He giggled. "He' really is just an arse."

Pete chuckled and kissed Jim's hair. "That's right, honey," he said softly. "He never deserved you. Or what you did for him."

They stood like that for a while, then Jim heard the door open behind him.

"He's out of here," Sebastian said. "I hope Angelo fires him." He stepped up behind Jim, wrapping both him and Pete in a hug and muttering in Jim's ear: "You're safe now."

"I know." Jim sighed. "But I'd still rather not go back in there."

"We can have our own party," Sebastian said. "Pete, would you mind going in and asking Richard and Tony if they feel like celebrating our film?"

"Sure." Pete gave Jim a final squeeze and left them.

Sebastian gently turned Jim around by his shoulders and kissed him. "We're still going to make this an awesome Christmas, okay?"

"Better than it already is?" Jim asked, laughing. "Not possible. I will never forget what you did for me in there. All of you."

Chapter Text

It's Christmas!

As Jim slowly opened his eyes, he realised that this was the first time as far back as he could remember that he was actually excited about the holiday. That he was going to have a happy Christmas.

Careful not to wake Sebastian, he turned around in his embrace. He looked so peaceful. So content.

Not like last night when he had faced off with Sherlock. He had been all rage and power then. So strong and fierce. Did Sherlock know how close he had come to having his teeth knocked out? His pretty nose broken?

Probably not.

Anyway, he was lucky Irene had stepped in. They were all lucky. The night could have ended very differently had it not been for her intervention.

As it was, everything had been perfect. They had gone with Pete, Tony and Richard down to the pub where he and Sebastian had had their first none-date and were soon joined by others who had fled the party. Apparently the mood hadn't been salvageable.

At first Jim had felt guilty, but people kept assuring him that it was not his fault and then buying him drinks to prove they were on his side. If Pete hadn't stuck by him, keeping an eye on his state, Jim would have passed out before midnight. As it was, he had spent several hours happily sloshed, bitching about Sherlock, gushing about their latest projects and flirting with basically everyone. At some point he ended up in a corner with Pete, snogging and giggling. When Sebastian descended on them, they both did their best to act the penitent part and were rewarded by a trip into the nearest alley for some light scolding.

This got them all so worked up that they barely made it back to Jim's flat before they began tearing each other's clothes off.

Sebastian must have been holding back on the drink, or maybe he was still riding the adrenaline from the confrontation at the studio. If Pete hadn't been there, Jim would have had a very hard time keeping up with him. Finally sated, they all snuggled for a bit and then Pete got up to call a taxi. He was going down south to visit his parents in the morning, so he had to get home and catch some sleep.

Sebastian saw him out and Jim must have drifted off immediately since he had no memory of him coming back to bed.

It was nice just lying here, feeling the warmth of Sebastian's body, but eventually he was driven out of bed by the need to pee. After a long, hot shower he checked in on Sebastian, who hadn't moved.

Giggling happily, Jim went to the kitchen to make breakfast. He turned on the radio but kept the volume low and soon he was humming along to every silly Christmas song they played.

"What happened to my Christmas morning shag?" For once, Sebastian had put on pyjama pants, combined with an old shirt. He was trying to pout, but his eyes were too mirthful for it to really work.

Jim blew him a kiss before focusing back on the bacon that was sizzling merrily in the frying pan. "Technically you've already had it," he teased. "I think it was almost two by the time we got home."

"Guess I'll have to wait until after breakfast, then." Sebastian chuckled and stepped up behind Jim, wrapping his arms around his waist and kissing his neck. "Merry Christmas, Kitten."

"Merry Christmas, Tiger," Jim purred. "And after breakfast we're doing presents. I want to know what you got me."

"Curious little Kitten," Sebastian teased. "Are you sure you don't just want to play with the box it comes in?"

"That too." Jim snorted. "Now hand me the plates before the bacon burns."

...

In spite of his curiosity, Jim took his time enjoying breakfast. It wasn't often that he did the cooking, but it had turned out pretty decent. The coffee might be a tiny bit too strong for Sebastian's taste, but other than a raised eyebrow he didn't comment. And maybe Jim should have bought real oranges and squeezed them himself, but that had seemed like so much work. All in all, a good breakfast.

When his plate was empty, he poured a fresh cup and then leaned back in his chair with a contented sigh.

"I wish every morning could be Christmas."

"We'd have to do a hell of a lot of Christmas specials," Sebastian pointed out. "No time for any other projects."

"Just the mornings." Jim pouted a little. "We're not working in the mornings."

"If the mornings are all ours, I agree." Sebastian chuckled. "So... presents?"

"Yeah..." Jim just realised then that he'd never gotten around to getting the other present. The small and funny one in case Sebastian hadn't gotten him anything special. There was, of course, the 'special' present, hidden away safely in the bottom drawer with extra sheets and linen, but he still hadn't made up his mind if he was actually going to give it to Sebastian. It had seemed like such a great idea when he was designing it with Maggie, but after bringing it home, he had begun to seriously doubt that Sebastian would think so. He might even get offended that Jim would have bought it without them talking about it first. Jim himself had, in the beginning, made it quite clear that Sebastian shouldn't introduce new kinks without explaining them to him and getting his consent. Didn't it go both ways? Wasn't Sebastian just as entitled to having a say in things?

He sighed. If he began worrying about that now, he'd just end up ruining Christmas. There was nothing for it but to give him the watch and hope their presents matched in sentiment and value.

"Just leave the dishes," he said as he got up . "I want you to open mine first."

"Great." Sebastian rubbed his hands. "I can't wait to see what you got me."

While Sebastian moved to the sofa, Jim fetched the small package under the tree. His heart sank a little when he noticed the large flat box next to it. But he brushed it off. A bigger present didn't necessarily mean a more expensive one. It might be a fancily wrapped shirt or maybe a jacket.

"Here you go," he said as he settled next to Sebastian, handing him the gift.

"Ooh, small and pretty, just like you. I love it already." Sebastian grinned as he tore the paper off the little box. Then his eyes widened as he opened it. "Wow, Jim! It's gorgeous!"

"You really think so? I mean..." Jim couldn't help squirming a bit. "You like it?"

Sebastian lifted the watch carefully from the box and admired it from all sides before putting it around his left wrist. "It's perfect!" He leaned in to kiss Jim. "Thank you, Kitten!"

"You're welcome, Tiger."

Sebastian kept looking at his watch for a while longer before he got up. "Time for yours!" He brought the large package over to the coffee table. "Better unwrap it carefully."

As Jim picked up the box, he let out an involuntary squeak of panic. It was definitely too heavy to be a shirt or jacket. Or any other kind of clothing. The size was wrong for a book, so… Whatever it was, it had to be expensive. Much more so than that crappy watch. But Sebastian was watching him with such an eager smile that there was nothing for it but to open the damn thing. With trembling fingers, Jim peeled off the tape and lifted a flap of the paper. He gasped.

"Oh Sebastian… What…? How…? That's way too much… I can't…"

Sebastian shrugged. "You can't run a company on that old laptop of yours. So I just thought I'd fix that... Boss."

With a weak giggle, Jim pushed the rest of the paper off the box. "I'm not a boss yet," he said. "I've no company to run. And this thing... It must have cost a fortune." He'd seen ads for this one. It was one of the latest models and supposed to be very very good.

Sebastian smiled. "Oh, I got a pretty good deal on it. And anyway, nothing's too much for my Kitten."

Jim stared at the box. He'd never owned anything this fancy before. But that was not the thing that made his heart pound and his eyes well up. Sebastian had given him this. Sebastian thought Jim was good enough for something like this. He blinked a few times to clear his eyes, then looked up at Sebastian, smiling. "You're crazy," he said. "But thank you. I love it."

…

"This is brilliant!" Jim called. "You should come and see this."

The shower had stopped and he was pretty sure he'd heard Sebastian in the bedroom a few minutes ago, but he wasn't answering now.

"It's got this thing called a Media Center and it's like… It can do everything."

“Everything?” Sebastian asked as he entered.

"Well, everything with sound and images and stuff like that. It's absolutely perf…" As he looked up at Sebastian, he flinched and nearly dropped his new laptop off the sofa. "What… Where did you get that?" he whispered staring at the package in Sebastian's hand.

“It was in the dresser with the sheets,” Sebastian said, holding it up. “I wondered if it should be under the tree instead. Who’s it for?”

"Why were you going through my things?" Jim asked defensively, closing the laptop and putting it carefully on the table before standing up. "Did I say you could look in there?"

Sebastian frowned. “You didn’t say I couldn’t. And we made kind of a mess last night, so I thought fresh sheets would be nice. Why is it so important? Who’s it for?”

"Nobody..." Jim cringed. Why hadn't he gotten rid of that thing? "Nobody you know."

Sebastian raised an eyebrow. “So what is it?”

"It doesn't matter…" Jim stepped towards him, holding his hand out. "Give it to me."

“But why is it such a big deal? Is it for an old boyfriend or something?”

Jim hoped his laugh didn't sound as painful as it felt. "Yeah. Sure… Of course... " He snatched the gift from Sebastian's hand and retreated.

Sebastian crossed his arms. “I don’t understand why you don’t trust me with this. I mean… I was just bringing it over in case you’d forgotten about it. But now you’re all… like this… What am I supposed to think?”

Jim managed to close his mouth before he could make things worse. He sighed. "It's not that, it's just... It was a stupid mistake. I was going to get rid of it, I just haven't had the time."

“Why is it a mistake?”

"Just a stupid idea I had," Jim shrugged, wishing he could make the damn thing disappear. "I've changed my mind."

“Okay. But why get rid of it? Can’t you just give it to someone else?”

"It's… It's kind of personal…" Jim looked down at the brown paper that had gotten very wrinkled lying under the sheets. There was a tiny tear in one corner and he caught a glimpse of orange fur before quickly hiding it behind his back. "It's really not important. Just forget about it…"

Sebastian stepped closer, smiling. “Forget about it, when it’s making you blush so beautifully? It must have been quite some gift.”

"I'm not blushing," Jim protested, taking a step back. Damn! Sebastian knew exactly what effect he had on Jim when he did that.

“Of course not.” Sebastian looked amused.

They both took another step and Jim almost fell backwards as he hit the side of the sofa. He flung out his arms for balance and Sebastian’s hands flew up to steady him—and suddenly Jim was no longer holding the gift.

“Thank you,” Sebastian said happily, turning it around in his hand and halting as he came across the tear. “Oh… That looks pretty.”

"It's not!" Jim said quickly. "Just a silly stuffed animal. It isn't even cute… Just… silly…" He tried to get it back, but Sebastian had a firm grip on it.

“So a silly stuffed animal that is personal and that you changed your mind about,” he summarised.

"Yeah…" Jim looked up at Sebastian and when he saw the mix of amusement and exasperation in his eyes, he realised he was the one being silly. "I mean no. It's not. I had this idea for something… for you… That I thought might be hot. So I had this thing made. But I'm not sure it's a good idea anymore. I should definitely have discussed it with you first and now I just kind of want to forget about the whole thing."

Sebastian’s eyes widened. “You had something made for me?” With one tug at the paper he unwrapped the gift and he held it up in his hands, gasping as he saw the tiger stripes. “Kitten!”

Jim couldn't bear to look at the stupid tail and turned away. "I'm sorry," he muttered. "I got carried away."

Sebastian took his hand and pulled him closer. “So… You’ve thought of me wearing this? But you didn’t like the idea?” he asked, leaning in.

Jim closed his eyes. "I had these strange dreams," he admitted. "About you and tigers. About you being a tiger. The dreams were very hot, but… They were just dreams."

“So you don’t want it. Me really being your Tiger.”

"You are my Tiger," Jim said, leaning on Sebastian. "But not like that. It's just a thing I call you. I'm the pet and you're the… the…" He shrugged. "You know."

“The master,” Sebastian said. “But what if the master didn’t mind wearing a long, strong tail like this? What if he likes it?” He ran the tail through his hands, admiring it.

"You… You like it?" Jim didn't dare believe his ears. "You don't think it's dumb?"

“Why would I think it’s dumb?” Sebastian gave him a quick kiss. “Would you mind if I try it on?”

Jim felt like bolting, but he managed a smile and a sort of shrug. "If you want to."

"I do." Sebastian's eyes twinkled. "But... Maybe I should take care of those sheets first."

"I can do that!" Jim offered quickly and darted past Sebastian. He needed a moment to prepare himself for this. More than a moment, really, but there was no sense in trying to delay now. The cat was, quite literally, out of the bag. Sebastian knew about his weird dreams and he was okay with it. Maybe even more than okay.

He had just finished tucking in the edges of the sheet when he heard the door to the bathroom open.

Sebastian was holding the tip of the tail when he walked in slowly, but as he caught Jim’s eye, he let it go and turned around. “What do you think?”

Jim wasn't entirely sure what he had meant to say, but it certainly wasn't that strangled whine that came out. Sebastian looked amazing. On anyone else, the thick tiger's tail might have looked comical, but Sebastian had both the size and dignity to carry it off. He looked strong. Powerful. Dangerous.

Jim's legs gave up and he sat down on the bed with a desperate groan. What had he gotten himself into?

"Kitten?" Sebastian turned back towards him and took a few steps closer until he stood between his knees. "Don't you like it?"

Jim swallowed hard and nodded, hoping his smile didn't look too painful. He wanted to tell Sebastian that he was beautiful, but as he opened his mouth, all that came out was a breathy: "Tiger!"

Sebastian smiled and cupped Jim's jaw in his hand. "That's right. I'm finally a complete Tiger. Thank you, Kitten."

Jim closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. He smiled too. "Are you a hungry tiger?"

"Hmm... Depends on what I'm offered," Sebastian teased, running his thumb over Jim's bottom lip.

"Oh, you're a tame tiger?" Jim smirked. "Waiting to be fed? How disappointing."

Sebastian grinned, lowered his hand to Jim's shoulder and pushed him over on the bed, diving after him and biting at his neck.

Jim squealed happily and struggled to defend himself. Sebastian seemed to be everywhere and there was definitely nothing tame about him as he kept on biting and scratching Jim.

When he started tickling too, it became too much. Laughing, Jim managed to get a hold of the tail and tugged lightly. "Stop!" he cried. "I can't breathe..."

Sebastian moaned luxuriously. "Oh... Do that again!"

"What, this?" Jim pulled a bit harder.

"Kitten!" Sebastian groaned and wiggled his hips.

Jim giggled. "It feels good, doesn't it?" He loosened his grip on the tail a little. "I thought it would be dangerous to pull a tiger's tail."

"Oh, very dangerous," Sebastian purred. "But you only find out when it's too late."

"Oh no..." Jim pulled again. "Is that a threat?"

“A promise.” Sebastian grinned and pinned him down, then started biting and licking down his chest.

Shivering in anticipation, Jim tried holding still. This wasn't quite like his dreams, mainly because he knew for certain that Sebastian wouldn't actually eat him, but it might be close enough. He hesitated for a moment, then asked: "Can you growl? Just a bit?"

Sebastian roared.

"Holy fuck!" His heart pounding, Jim tried to scramble away. "I said growl… growl!"

“I did!” Sebastian chuckled. “I thought you wanted a dangerous Tiger, not some purring Kitten.”

"A hot dangerous Tiger, yes. Not a ravenous monster…" Jim giggled hysterically. "You're insane…"

“Of course. You’ve driven me crazy. And ravenous…” Sebastian bit his stomach and licked a line over his cock before Jim even had the chance to flinch. “Don’t you think that can be hot?”

Jim moaned. "It… It can…" he gasped. "Just not so loud. Please." He relaxed and closed his eyes again.

“Fine. You make some noise, then.” Sebastian swallowed him.

Jim did.

…

“So…” Sebastian said as he pulled Jim close into a cuddle. “How did I do? Just as good as your dreams? Or better?”

"Different." Jim was still panting and waiting for the room to stop spinning. "But you were definitely a good Tiger. And hot. Very hot."

“And you were an amazing Kitten,” Sebastian purred, nuzzling his neck, “but then you always are.”

Jim giggled. "Maybe. But I'm glad I wasn't wearing a tail. And I think you were too."

“Oh yes. And I was glad I was wearing one. You have the most brilliant ideas.”

"I do, don't I?" Jim asked smugly, reaching over to stroke the soft striped fur. "It really does suit you."

“I should probably take it off… But I don’t really want to…”

Jim tried pulling away from him. "Can I get a picture first? Just for me? I won't show it around or anything."

“Oh, don’t worry. This definitely wasn’t a one-time thing if it’s up to me. You’ll get plenty of chances to see it,” Sebastian said, although he was already shifting to strike a good pose.

"You can't wear it all the time," Jim pointed out as he jumped out of bed and ran to get his camera. "This way I can enjoy it even when you're not around. And it's only fair. You have 5 copies of the Kitten movie lying about."

Sebastian grinned. “Maybe we should make a Tiger movie.”

"Oh no!" Jim said as he began snapping pictures. "This is just for me."

“As you wish.” Sebastian stretched out on the bed, making himself look even more like a lazy tiger basking in the sun.

Chapter Text

Jim found his time between Christmas and New Year’s being pretty much equally divided between sleep, playing with his new laptop and with Sebastian. The tail wasn't involved every time, but enough that it left no room for doubt that Sebastian really did love his Christmas present.

By the evening of the 28th, Jim was so covered in scratches and bite marks that he had to ask for a break or he wouldn't be able to leave the house without someone calling the police. Or the RSPCA.

“But you’re so irresistible,” Sebastian complained. “Though… I’ve actually been thinking about something that doesn’t involve the Tiger…”

"Oh?" Jim perked up at this. It wasn't that he wasn't horny, he had just had a shock when he looked in the mirror. "Do tell."

Sebastian put the tiger’s tail back in the drawer. “You know, with all this preparing myself to take the plug… And you pulling the tail… I’m really in the mood for something more. For you to fuck me. I know it’s not what you usually prefer, but… Last time was so amazing…”

Jim froze. Last time hadn't been bad or anything, but it had made him feel a little weird. And things were different back then. They hadn't been as… as settled in their roles as they were now. Back then, they had still just been playing. But now, especially after having unleashed the Tiger side of Sebastian, Jim just couldn't picture himself trying to top him. It just seemed wrong.

"I'd rather not," he muttered, looking away.

Sebastian put a hand on his arm. “Please? I can guide you again. You liked that…”

"Doesn't mean I want to do it again!" Jim snapped, pulling away from him.

“But why not? You’d enjoy it… And I definitely would.”

"I'd enjoy it? How the hell do you know what I'd enjoy?" Jim was on his feet now. Who, exactly, did Sebastian think he was?

Sebastian frowned. “We’ve gotten to know each other pretty well. I think we can usually tell when the other enjoys something…”

"Apparently not!" As he stormed out of the bedroom, Jim was shocked to realise that if they had been at Sebastian's apartment tonight, he might very well have left. Now he just had to settle for the sofa and his laptop. At least it was behaving the way it was supposed to.

After a while, the bedroom door opened. Sebastian had put on pyjama pants and sat down on the other side of the sofa.

At first Jim considered ignoring him, but then Sebastian would probably call him childish, so instead he closed the laptop with a sigh and looked at him. "What?"

“I didn’t mean to make you angry,” Sebastian said. “It was only a suggestion…”

"Yeah well, I said I didn't want to do it, didn't I?" Jim felt like curling up, but couldn't because of the stupid computer in his lap.

“I just don’t understand why.” Sebastian shrugged. “It’s not that big of a deal…”

"It is to me, okay?" Jim glared at him. "Especially..." He stopped himself, not sure he would be able to explain why he was so bothered by the idea of fucking Sebastian. "Just... I just don't want to."

“Alright.” Sebastian sighed. “You don’t know what you’re missing, though. There was this guy at the club who just couldn’t get enough, he…”

"Then why don't you get him to do it?" Jim hissed. "I'm sure he'd be happy to oblige."

“I don’t want him,” Sebastian said, rolling his eyes. “I want you!”

"Well, you have me in every other possible way, so why can't you just let this fucking go?" Jim jumped to his feet and, without really thinking about it, tossed the nearest thing at Sebastian.

It wasn't a pillow, he realised too late. It was his new laptop.

Sebastian caught it and just stared at him. “Fucking hell, Jim!”

Jim stared back. He really hadn't meant to do that. He opened his mouth, but wasn't able to make words come out.

Sebastian carefully put the laptop down on the coffee table. “Are you crazy?” he asked, his mouth a hard line. “I’m joking about some guy and you just… Seriously?”

Jim’s mouth snapped shut. Screw words. He snarled at Sebastian and then spun around and fled back into the bedroom, slamming the door as hard as he could.

…

Fuck!

What had he done? And why?

Jim couldn't remember the last time he'd been this angry. But he was pretty sure Sherlock had been the cause of it.

In fact, when he thought about it, this was exactly like the anger he had felt towards Sherlock after their last scene together. The same trembling, the same tears, the same feeling that he would never forget, never forgive… forgive what?

What exactly had Sebastian done that was so terrible? He had mentioned something he'd like Jim to do and perhaps been a little more persistent than usual. Because it was something that he really really wanted. Hadn't Jim done the same? Countless times? Whenever he got something into his head he'd beg and whine and plead until Sebastian finally gave in. Or spanked him. Which, come to think of it, more often than not happened to be the thing he had wanted in the first place, so…

Jim was surprised how much his giggle sounded like a sob and was painfully reminded what had led him to this train of thought.

He had thrown his laptop at Sebastian. He had thrown his brand-new laptop that Sebastian had given him for Christmas. He could have broken it. He could have hurt Sebastian. Badly.

He hadn't meant to do it. He had just wanted him to stop talking.

Because if he had kept on talking, Jim would have given in and it would have been horrible and he'd have ended up with that empty feeling he'd always felt after Sherlock had made him push a boundary for a film. Made him do something he didn't really want to do.

But this was supposed to be different. Sebastian hadn't wanted Jim to perform to make money or feed his ego. He'd just wanted Jim to fuck him. Without cameras or an audience. Without him being judged or evaluated. Just a nice ordinary shag because he liked how it felt.

And why shouldn't he? It did feel awesome. Especially with someone that you… were so close to.

Jim cringed. He really was a horrible person.

But it would just feel so awkward. He'd been really getting into this whole Tiger-thing. Being Sebastian's helpless prey… Just lying there and letting himself be devoured. He loved it. And he loved how Sebastian got when he put on the tail. All playfully smug ferocity. He couldn't just forget about that. He didn't want to.

It wasn't that he would never top Sebastian again. Not for certain, anyway. It was just that right now it would really really ruin this thing for him and he couldn't be sure they could get it back afterwards. He couldn't risk it. He just wanted to enjoy his Tiger a little longer. Or a lot longer.

So why hadn't he just explained that to Sebastian?

Because of all the stuff with Sherlock, probably. Because he'd been manipulated and pushed by him, he'd developed some sort of instinctual reaction and Sebastian had inadvertently triggered it. So it was all Sherlock's fault. Like always.

But Jim still owed Sebastian an apology. If not for the sulking and snapping, then definitely for the throwing.

With a sigh he opened the door to the living room. "Tiger? I'm…"

Sebastian wasn't there.

…

"Jim?"

Jim jumped and squawked. "Seb...?" he gasped, turning around to face him. He'd been leaning against the wall outside Sebastian's flat, trying to work up the nerve to knock. Or find the energy to go home. He was so tired and cold and might actually have been dozing off.

He was such an idiot. When he had found out Sebastian had left, he should have called him and apologised. Or followed him straight to his flat. Taken a bus. Or even a cab.

Instead he had been wandering aimlessly through the city all night, his mind doing its best to keep him from focusing on figuring out what to do next. Instead, it had insisted on replaying every stupid thing he had ever said or done. Especially the things involving Sebastian. And Sherlock.

The sun had been up for at least an hour when he found himself in Sebastian's street. Without thinking, he had dragged himself up the stairs and then stood frozen in front of the door for who knew how long.

Well... He snickered at the thought. It wouldn't have made any difference if he had knocked. Sebastian hadn't been home.

"Jim, what are you doing here?"

"Uhm..." Jim wondered about that himself for a moment, then remembered. "Sorry?"

Sebastian rolled his eyes and tilted his hip towards him. "Just take the key and let us in. We'll talk inside."

Feeling very awkward, Jim did as Sebastian asked and then reached out to relieve him of one of the heavy shopping bags he was carrying. "I know you're mad," he muttered. "It's okay."

"Inside," Sebastian repeated.

"Yes, Sir..." Jim tried a small laugh but immediately wished he hadn't. He sighed as he followed.

While Sebastian put the bags in the kitchen, Jim sat on the sofa, not really knowing what to do with himself. Running away seemed appealing, but wasn't really an option.

Jim had said he was sorry, but it seemed that wasn't enough. If only Sebastian would tell him what he wanted. Jim would do anything. Almost anything.

Finally Sebastian sat down with him, at a considerable distance. "I'm guessing you came to talk, so... I'm listening."

Jim took a deep breath. He was going to apologise again. Say he wasn't sure why he had reacted like that and that he'd like to make it up to Sebastian. Perhaps a blowjob?

Instead it all came out. About Sherlock and the movies and feeling like shit. About how he felt about the Tiger and how the Tiger made him feel about himself and why he didn't think he could make himself fuck Sebastian even though he really wanted to do it because Sebastian was so good to him and he wanted to make him happy and give him everything he wanted and...

Sebastian pulled him in his arms and let him sob for a long while. "I'm sorry," he said. "I... I think I pushed because you got so angry and defensive. I didn't understand. But now I do. Most of it, at least."

Jim sniffed and snuggled a bit closer. "I'm sorry about the laptop. Is it... Did I break it?"

"I think the laptop's fine. And my hand didn't even really bruise. Thanks for asking." Sebastian gave him a little squeeze to show he was joking.

“Right...” Jim hid his sheepish grin against Sebastian’s chest. “Sorry...”

Chapter Text

"But I want to see the fireworks!!!" Jim crossed his arms and pouted.

“The celebration inside the club will be better than fireworks!” Sebastian argued.

"What?" Jim scoffed. "Some tired old sub having their bum whipped on stage by a dominatrix caricature struggling to keep her balance in 14-inch heels?" He groaned. "Oh god… Is Irene performing?" He made some pretty convincing gagging noises. The cabbie glanced into the rearview mirror, looking concerned.

Sebastian snorted. “She usually spends New Year’s Eve at home with her girlfriend, so I doubt it. And seriously, the show’s impressive. It’s like the whole club explodes at midnight, but instead of debris there’s confetti and lights and happy people.”

"Oh goodie… Happy people." Jim rolled his eyes. "In chains and leather. If we're lucky…"

“That’s less boring than happy people in big coats and ugly scarves gaping at fireworks.”

"I'm not going there to look at the people. I just want to see and hear all the colourful explosions…"

“Which you’ll also have at the club, but better!”

"Not the same kind of explosions," Jim growled. "Can't we just go to the club afterwards?"

“Can’t we just go watch fireworks some other time and enjoy this thing?” Sebastian tried to make puppy eyes.

Jim couldn't help but laugh. Was Sebastian really trying to beat him at his own game? Jim showed him how it was supposed to be done as he tilted his head and purred: "Are you taking me to Disneyland?"

“What?” Sebastian blinked. “I meant… anywhere.”

"And where are we going to find fireworks at any other time?"

“I don’t know, fairs? Festivals? We really don’t have to go to Disneyland for them…”

“If we want to see them any time soon,” Jim insisted. “Or we could watch them tonight.”

Sebastian gave him a long look, before he said: "Fine. I'm taking you to Disneyland."

“Yay!” Jim clapped his hands. “Let’s go see your silly show then.”

…

The show was, it turned out, far from silly. Sure, there was a lot of kink and a couple of bums were indeed getting whipped, but it was so much more than that. All the people on stage were gorgeous, the costumes were dazzling and the lighting and pyrotechnics were breathtaking. But what really captured Jim was the performance itself. Everyone involved was obviously either a professional dancer or acrobat. Or both. No matter what role they took on, they all moved with a grace and precision worthy of the most expensive West End shows. Jim was especially captivated by a tall lithe woman who could transform from a cowering maiden to a stalking predator by the tilt of her head. He had to learn how to do that. Maybe she would teach him?

He turned to Sebastian to ask if he knew her name, but Sebastian was already looking down at him and grinning. He winked as he caught Jim's eye. "Still feeling bad about the fireworks?"

Pride, as usual, got in his way and Jim shrugged. “I suppose it’s warmer in here.”

He looked back at the stage where five or possibly six naked people were coming together to create a strange, writhing mass.

The lights went out and the music paused. The whole room seemed to hold its breath.

Then blacklights came on and a beautiful, fluorescent chimera appeared, stretching and preening as it scanned the room with glowing eyes which Jim suspected were in fact the painted breasts of his favourite.

"Almost time," Sebastian muttered, putting an arm around Jim and squeezing a little.

Jim snuggled closer, then gasped as a huge clock face appeared above the chimera.

As the second hand glided towards its zenith, everyone began a countdown that grew louder and louder, reaching its crescendo in cheers and cries of ‘Happy New Year’. The chimera broke apart, the lights went up and ridiculous amounts of sparkly confetti began raining down on them.

Sebastian lifted Jim off the floor, kissing him deeply. "Happy New Year, Kitten," he said when he pulled back, his eyes twinkling.

Still clinging to Sebastian with both arms and legs, Jim blew some confetti out of his hair and laughed. "Happy New Year, Tiger." He gave him another quick kiss. "So... Wanna dance or did you have something else in mind?"

"What's the first thing you want to do in 2005?" Sebastian squeezed his arse.

Jim considered for a moment, then grinned. “Champagne!”

Drinks were included in the fee for the night, so for once Jim didn't feel the need to hold back. After having toasted with Sebastian, he spotted Pete in the crowd and called him over to share a glass with them. They were soon joined by others, both old friends of Sebastian's and new fans who wanted to gush over their movies and maybe get in a friendly grope or snog between drinks. This was the perfect way to celebrate the end of what had become the best year of Jim's life.

So when two latex-covered girls began begging for a little show and the people around them all cheered, Jim happily got to his knees and, after checking if he was okay with it, unzipped Sebastian's trousers, freed his cock and gave him a very thorough blowjob. The applause was deafening and then Jim was pulled to his feet and offered more drinks and compliments.

He began suspecting that he might have had a bit too much champagne when he realised that not only was he snogging one of the girls, but he actually had his hands on her breasts. "Sorry," he muttered as he pulled away from her, but she only laughed and told him that he was adorable. He looked around for Sebastian and saw him sandwiched in between Pete and the tall performer Jim had admired. They were both whispering in his ears and glancing over towards Jim. When Pete saw him looking, he winked and then held out his hand for Jim to join them.

"What's up?" he asked, as he was pulled close.

"Sebastian has graciously agreed to let some of us get a little more than what can be shared here," Pete said. "Violet has the big room for the night and we'll be heading down there so the rest of us can have a go at you two."

"The... The rest of you?" Jim looked nervously at Violet who, in her heels, was almost half a head taller than him.

"Don't worry, darling," she said with a heavy accent that Jim would probably have been able to place on a more sober night. "We won't make you do anything you're uncomfortable with. I'll be fine with just watching if you prefer."

Jim looked at Sebastian, who shrugged with one shoulder and smiled.

"Okay..." Jim said. "Sounds like fun. And... You can touch, I guess. Hands are hands, right?"

"And lips?" Violet asked, leaning in with a crooked smile.

"I guess." Jim gave her a quick kiss and then found himself being whisked away towards the private rooms.

...

The room was huge. You could throw parties in here. Or shoot crowd scenes. Luckily they weren't a crowd now. As far as Jim could tell, about ten people had followed them down, but he didn't have time to actually count them as the second he stepped through the door somebody picked him up and carried him over to one of the large beds. He vaguely registered Sebastian flopping down on another bed with a couple of guys and then he was swarmed by eager bodies, clothes being removed and tossed aside. There were hands on him. And lips. He closed his eyes but then opened them again quickly as he felt the tip of a cock brush against his lips.

"Don't worry," Violet said. "He's wearing a condom. I'll make sure everyone stays safe."

Relieved, Jim closed his eyes again and then opened his mouth willingly.

Some kind of mask was placed over his eyes and he quickly lost track of how many cocks he sucked and how many people fucked him. Every time someone was done, eager hands helped move Jim into a new position and soon he was filled again. He got sucked and jerked too, but thankfully nobody tried to ride him. Had Sebastian told them?

When there wasn't a cock in his mouth, people were kissing him. A lot. He recognised Pete's lips and was also pretty sure that Violet got in a couple of deep snogs. There were lips on his body too and he suspected he was getting covered in enough love bites for Sebastian to rename him Leopard as soon as they got home. But it was worth it. It was so worth it. Being used like this, not having to do anything but open up and take what was offered was absolute bliss. This was what it was all about.

Eventually things slowed down and he sensed fewer people around him. They were probably heading back to the party. That suited Jim just fine. He could use some time to recover. Or maybe snuggle with Sebastian.

The last one to leave him was Violet, who pulled off the mask and gave him a final kiss. "You were brilliant tonight, Jimmy," she purred. "If you ever feel like experimenting with a woman, keep me in mind." Then she left.

Jim lay still for a moment, enjoying the peace. Then he realised that he was far from alone in the room. There was movement to his left and he rolled lazily onto his side to watch the two men fucking on the other bed.

They didn’t seem to be making much of a show, their bodies rocking together and their faces covered in shadows as they kissed. However, after a moment, the man on top was pushed away slightly, so he’d find more leverage to fuck the other. The bottom arched his back and wrapped a hand around his straining cock, letting out a loud groan as the other man sped up his thrusts.

Jim gasped and quickly looked away. Sebastian? He had known that he wasn’t part of the group having a go at Jim. That he was having his own fun somewhere else in the room.

But this? He would never have guessed that he’d be the one getting fucked. And in such an... an intimate way... There was no sub or dom in this. No power play. Just two blokes enjoying each other. A lot!

Compared to the experience Jim had just had, it seemed so ordinary. But the way they had moved together... That look on Sebastian’s face. Jim had never seen him like that. Made him feel like that.

Hoping they were still too caught up in each other, Jim managed to gather most of his clothes and slipped off the bed. He had to get out of there.

Unfortunately, Sebastian opened his eyes just as Jim passed the bed. "Jim!" he gasped, holding out a hand. "Come here."

Jim winced. “I... I need the bathroom,” he muttered and ran for the door. “Be right back.”

Out in the corridor, he managed to get his pants and shirt on before he began trembling so violently that he had to sit down. “Fuck...” he muttered.

After a moment, he realised that he had left his shoes and socks in there. He let out a weak little laugh, got up and pulled his trousers on. After hesitating outside the door for several minutes, he turned and made his way back to the bar. Thankfully nobody recognised him, and he managed to get himself a coke and find a spot in a corner where he could wait for Sebastian.

He dropped his coke and screamed as a pair of strong arms suddenly wrapped around him.

"Whoa, sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." Sebastian nuzzled his neck. "Hello."

“It... it’s okay...” Jim breathed, pulling away a little. “Do you have my shoes?”

Sebastian held them up, along with Jim’s socks. "Did you have a good time?"

Jim nodded as he took them and bent down to put them on. “You?”

"Definitely." Sebastian beamed. "Another drink?"

“I’m actually kinda tired. I’d like to go home, but...” He avoided meeting Sebastian’s eyes. “You can stay if you want. I don’t mind.”

"Nah, we'll go home then. I may have had enough anyway, if I'm completely honest... Good thing I've got you to talk some sense into me." Sebastian kissed Jim's temple and held him close as they moved towards the exit.

“Yeah...” Jim muttered.

...

Sebastian didn't let go of him even once as they got a cab home and climbed the stairs up to his flat. Jim would rather have gone to his own place, but Sebastian would have asked questions and he didn't have any answers right now. He needed time to think. A lot of time.

So after a quick kiss he left a very affectionate Sebastian on the bed, promising he would be right back, and fled to the bathroom.

He sat on the floor, his back against the door, waiting to hear the sounds of Sebastian's snores so he could sneak out. It was a horrible thing to do, but he figured he had already fucked up so badly that it didn't really matter anymore.

Sebastian had told him exactly what he wanted. What he needed. And he had made it very clear that he wanted it from Jim. It was Jim himself who had refused him. Who had suggested he go get it from someone else. Sebastian had only done as Jim told him to. How was he supposed to know that Jim hadn't really meant it? Hell, Jim hadn't known that he didn't really mean it before he saw Sebastian under that other guy. Saw them moving so perfectly together. Saw the passion between them.

As much as he wanted to be the one making Sebastian feel so good, he knew it was never going to happen. He just didn't have what it took. He didn't have the size or the strength to take somebody like that. To own them so completely. He could be Sebastian's pet. His toy. His bratty little sub. But he couldn't be his potent lover. Not the kind Sebastian wanted. The one he deserved.

He could try, of course, but what would be the point? He was just going to fail. He could encourage Sebastian to seek out others like he had done tonight, but he knew where that would lead. Sex like that was all about being close. Sooner or later that intimacy would result in deeper attractions, maybe even love. Sebastian wouldn't just dump Jim, he was too noble for that, but Jim couldn't bear the thought of watching him drift further and further away, pining for somebody else.

Neither could he keep him trapped in this unfulfilling relationship or whatever it was.

There was only one decent thing to do. Jim had to end it. As soon as possible.

Not tonight, though. They had both had too much to drink and Sebastian was feeling so good. Jim didn't want to ruin that. But tomorrow. He'd give Sebastian a good morning blowjob, make him some nice breakfast and then, if the hangovers weren't too bad, he'd break up. Tell Sebastian that things weren't really working out. Maybe something about needing time apart.

He'd make it as kind and easy as he could and then give Sebastian the space and time he'd need to find somebody else. That shouldn't be too hard considering how people had flocked around him last night. Jim couldn't blame them. Sebastian was amazing.

He sniffed and wiped his nose in his sleeve. Then he got up and went to the sink to wash his face. Sebastian should be asleep by now, but still... Jim didn't want him worried. Not tonight.

Sebastian was snoring lightly and Jim managed to slip under the covers without waking him. The champagne and shots Sebastian had consumed that evening probably helped.

Before he could stop himself, Jim snuggled close, resting his cheek on Sebastian's broad shoulder. But why not allow himself to enjoy that beautiful body one last time? It wasn't like he was going to be able to sleep anyway.

He drifted off in less than a minute.

Chapter Text

A low hum sounded in Jim's ear. There was a very warm arm around him, and another hand petting his neck, cheek and chest. Stubbly kiss after stubbly kiss landed on his shoulder.

Jim hummed happily and turned to nuzzle Sebastian, then groaned as it felt like his brain exploded.

"You okay?" Sebastian's hand stilled on his jaw and he sounded worried.

“My head!” Jim whined. “I’m dying!”

Sebastian frowned. "You didn't drink that much, did you? Except cock..."

“Shut up...” Jim grinned for a second. Then he remembered. He rolled away from Sebastian, pulling a pillow over his head.

Sebastian lifted the pillow, snuggled close and put it back over them both. "You're not embarrassed, are you? I mean... It was amazing!"

Jim cringed. He was very much aware how amazing it had been for Sebastian. “No,” he muttered. “I’m just tired. And thirsty.” He tried to push away so he could get out of the bed, but got tangled in the sheets.

Sebastian threw the pillow off them and kissed his cheek. "You stay here and get some rest. I'll get you a glass of water. And then I'll make breakfast."

Defeated, Jim sank back into bed, hiding under the pillow again. This was not what he had planned at all. He was supposed to be taking care of Sebastian, not the other way around. This was all wrong.

As he sipped the water, he wondered why he was feeling this miserable. Sure, he'd had a lot of champagne last night, but not that much. The crying in the bathroom before going to bed might have contributed to his current headache and stuffy nose, but it didn't explain why his whole body felt like lead.

He tried curling up, but his bladder had other plans for him. On the way back from the bathroom, he glanced towards the window where the small, white winter sun had just risen high enough over the rooftops to send a single piercing beam into his eyes. Jim sneezed. Twice.

Cursing, he turned back to go blow his nose, then brought a loo roll to bed with him. He wasn't ready to admit that he might have caught a cold but just in case...

He lay glaring out at the world from under the pillow when Sebastian returned with a tray. On it were two very full plates with eggs, bacon, sausages, tomatoes and beans.

"Tadaa!" Sebastian grinned. "What better way to start a new year, right?" He frowned as Jim's expression didn't change. "Hey... You haven't been crying, have you?"

“I’m fahn...” Jim sniffed. “Fine...” He sighed. “My nose is just a bit stuffy. Probably from all the smoke in the club.” He studied the tray, doubting he’d be able to eat more than a few bites.

Sebastian frowned as he put it down and sat next to Jim. "I hope you didn't catch a cold. I mean, I thought the room was hot at the time, but maybe it was still a little too chilly..."

“I didn’t,” Jim snarled. “I’m not sick. I’m just tired. Didn’t get much sleep with the way you were snoring.”

No... this was all wrong. He was supposed to be nice to Sebastian before breaking up with him. Not bitch at him. “Sorry... It’s not your fault.”

"Sorry for snoring." Sebastian gently bumped against him. "Here... Eat. Maybe you'll feel a little better."

“Not hungry,” Jim muttered, looking away.

"Just a bite. For me."

With a heavy sigh, Jim sat up and took one of the plates. “Fine,” he muttered and picked up a sausage, then realised what it might remind Sebastian of and chose a piece of bacon instead.

"Good Kitten." Sebastian smiled and tucked into his own breakfast.

Once he tasted the bacon, Jim decided that he was a bit hungry after all and reached for his fork.

He finished off all the bacon and most of the eggs and beans. When he put down his fork, he was feeling a bit better. At least his head wasn't aching as bad.

He was still miserable about what he would have to do, though.

But he couldn't do it right now. Not after Sebastian had made such an effort with the breakfast and was being so nice to him.

That bit hurt too. Now that Sebastian had gotten what he needed, he was being all snuggly and touchy. Before last night, Jim would have loved the attention, feeling special and adored. But now he knew that it wasn't really about him. Sebastian was just feeling good after his great fuck and Jim happened to be conveniently at hand.

Using the need to put his plate down as an excuse, he moved to the other side of the bed. "I better get home," he said. "I really need a shower and some clean clothes."

Sebastian looked at him as though he was crazy. "I have a shower. And clothes..."

Jim hesitated. "But all your clothes are so big..." he mumbled, knowing that he wasn't going to win this one. Either he would have to tell Sebastian that he didn't want to be here or he'd be stuck as long as Sebastian wanted him around.

One hour later he was wrapped in two thick blankets, cuddled in Sebastian's arms on the sofa, watching It’s a Wonderful Life. His head was starting to feel heavy again and he feared that he had indeed caught something. Just perfect.

How was he going to tell Sebastian that they should take a break while he was sniffing and coughing? Sebastian probably wouldn't even realise what he was saying, being too busy fussing over him. It was both endearing and infuriating how protective he'd get every time Jim was feeling even a bit off. He was going to miss that. Nobody had ever cared for him like that and it had been all too easy getting used to that kind of attention.

He had never even considered that Sebastian might be wanting something in return.

Well, he knew now and it wasn't something he could give. So he had to end it. Now.

With every passing moment, things were getting worse. Though Sebastian did feel sorry for him, he couldn't quite hide how much he enjoyed taking care of Jim.

He did tease him a little, declaring that now he finally understood the expression 'weak as a kitten', but he didn't take it too far and Jim couldn't find a plausible excuse for getting angry with him. So he put up with it, even managing a few laughs when Sebastian made fun of the movie. Since he obviously wasn't going to get around to breaking up today, he might as well enjoy being with Sebastian.

When the film was over, Sebastian pulled him even closer and kissed his temple. He frowned. "Wow... You're burning up. You really are sick."

"Oh..." Jim's giggle turned into a disgustingly weak cough. "I thought I was just hot. Isn't that what you usually tell me?"

Sebastian smiled. "Oh, you definitely are. But you should try to take a nap. I'll make soup for when you wake up."

Jim groaned. Worse and worse. He ought to tell Sebastian that he shouldn't bother, but the thought of sleep was quite enticing right now. And soup sounded really good. "Oaky..." he muttered. Then he had a thought. "Actually, no... I better go home. I don't want you to catch it too." He pulled away and got slowly to his feet.

"Don't be silly." Sebastian pushed him back and arranged the blankets around him again. "You shouldn't be alone on New Year's Day. Certainly not when you're feeling bad." He chuckled and rolled his biceps. "Besides, I won't catch it. I'm big and strong."

"Oh yes..." Jim huffed. "The viruses all quiver in fear. Vira... Whatever..." He shifted to get more comfortable. "You should at least keep some distance."

"Cause I'm so good at that when it comes to you." Sebastian shook his head and laughed.

“I don’t want you getting sick too,” Jim whined. He couldn’t dump Sebastian if either of them were ill.

Sebastian kissed the top of his head. "Don't you worry about me. Just let me take care of you. That's what I do best, right, Kitten?"

“Yeah, it is...”

…

Jim managed to hold Sebastian off for almost two days, sniffing or coughing loudly every time he tried getting too close to him. He quickly gave up on the idea of getting out of the flat but then insisted that one of them sleep on the sofa. Of course Sebastian did, even though it had to be more uncomfortable for him, being way too tall to fit.

But shortly after lunch on the 3rd, Sebastian wrapped his arms around him as Jim walked by the sofa and pulled him onto his lap.

“Feeling better?” he purred, nuzzling Jim’s neck.

"No…" Jim gasped, struggling a little. He attempted a sniff but it sounded very dry and pathetic. He had been so caught up in his brooding that he hadn't even realised the cold had worn off. "I mean… A bit."

Sebastian kissed his jaw. “I thought so. You look better.”

"Right." With a heavy sigh, Jim gave in and snuggled closer to Sebastian. It did feel awfully nice. He had missed being close to him, more than he had realised. "How about you? You didn't catch it?"

“No… I caught you!” Sebastian pulled back a little to grin at him. “Do you have any idea how badly I’ve wanted you ever since New Year’s Eve?”

Jim wiggled his bum a little against the bulge in Sebastian's pants and giggled before he could stop himself. "I think I do," he teased.

Sebastian hummed and tilted his hips towards Jim to gain more friction. “I can’t stop thinking about the way you looked down there in that basement. About the way everyone enjoyed you. And the way you enjoyed everyone…”

Jim tensed immediately. "Well, I can't say the same about you," he said curtly. "I didn't see you at all. I hope you had a good time."

Sebastian frowned. “Hey, don’t worry. I mean it. That I enjoyed it. I’m not jealous.” He softly stroked Jim’s back and kissed him.

Yeah, of course he wasn't jealous. He had been too busy having his brains fucked out to worry much about Jim or anything else going on in that room. Jim turned his head away, not wanting Sebastian to see the moisture rising in his eyes.

Sebastian took it as a sign to start kissing his neck again. “I like that we can do this. That we can each have our own fun, but that it’s something we share. I’m sorry you didn’t get to see much of me. I was hoping you’d catch a glimpse. Or that you’d join us once the others had left…”

Jim had been biting his lip hard to hold back the tears, but now he huffed. "Join you? How? I doubt I could have squeezed a piece of paper in between the two of you."

Sebastian snorted. “Fair enough. But we could have rearranged things a little. Or I could have given you another blowjob, if you were still up for one. Dunno. I just liked the idea of you being there…”

Sebastian liked the idea of Jim watching him like that? Jim would have never thought he could be that cruel. But on the other hand, if he got off on hurting Jim physically, it made sense that he also found it hot to crush his heart.

“Maybe we can plan it a little better next time,” Sebastian mused.

Next time? Jim whipped his head around, wanting to scream and possibly hit Sebastian.

“Would you like that?” Sebastian caught his lips in a hungry kiss.

Jim tried resisting, but Sebastian had a firm grip on him and the kiss did feel really really good. Almost as if his anger had added another layer to it. Before he knew what he was doing, he'd wrapped his arms around Sebastian's neck, pulling him closer as he kissed him back eagerly.

Moaning, Sebastian stood up and carried Jim to the bedroom, where he threw him down on the mattress.

“Clothes off,” he growled as he pulled off his own pyjamas with swift movements.

Jim probably tore a couple of seams on the borrowed clothes, ripping them off as quickly as he could. He knew this was an amazingly stupid thing to do, but he wanted Sebastian so bad right now. One last time…

…

It wasn't fair!

How could Sebastian be such an amazing lover? How did he always seem to know exactly what Jim wanted? What he needed?

As he lay sweaty and sated in Sebastian's arms, still panting from his last formidable orgasm, Jim was once again overcome with the pain of the impending annihilation of the best thing that had ever happened to him. All because he was too weak to ever truly be enough for Sebastian.

But… He was only so weak and so submissive because Sebastian had made him that way. He had been fine and normal until they'd begun all these stupid games. He'd been able to top when needed and didn't have a problem with it, but then Sebastian had to go and convince him that he liked it so much better when he was being taken and controlled. And now he was so locked in that role that he didn't think he'd ever snap out of it.

It was all Sebastian's fault.

He had ruined Jim and now he was mocking him for being broken. Well, it was over! Jim was going to let him know exactly what he thought of him and then he was going to get up and get the hell out of here.

Just then Sebastian sighed, pulled him a little closer and did something positively sinful to his ear.

Fuck it! Sebastian had made this mess and if he wasn't happy with it, that would never be Jim's problem. He was done dealing with this shit. He was going to just have his fun while it lasted. And be prepared for the inevitable.

He wriggled around so he could look up at Sebastian and purred: "I hope that means you're ready for round two."

Chapter Text

“Everyone, can I have your attention please? I have news.”

After a lot of stumbling, chattering and grumbling, everyone was finally gathered around Angelo. For the past hour they had all been speculating loudly why they'd been called in today, whether they were filming or not. Well, everyone but Sherlock, it seemed. As Jim stood on his toes to look over the shoulders of the crowd, he wondered if he'd refused to come or if Angelo hadn't even asked him.

"Look… This isn't easy to tell you," Angelo began. "I'm very grateful for all of you. Without all of your amazing skills, I would be nothing. So… I want to start the new year by telling you that."

"Whoooo! We love you too, Angelo!" some young actors cheered, while everyone applauded and a few people whistled.

Angelo winced and held up his hand. "Please… Before it becomes impossible to get this out!" He took a deep breath. "Some of you may know that I've always had a dream. I ended up in this business sort of by accident and I know I haven't done badly, but it was never my first love. I know that in a way I did manage to feed you all by doing this, but… It's not the same as having my own restaurant. As cooking for people and hearing them say it's good."

Everyone went a lot quieter and there was some indistinct muttering.

"I…" Angelo cleared his throat. "I won't be starting any new projects. I will finish the films we were working on and everything in pre-production. But after that… The movie department of UMQRA is over. I'll still be involved with the magazines, but I'm moving on to a new stage of my life."

They stared at him quietly.

"Can't you still make films and run the restaurant halftime or something?" someone asked.

"Shut up. He's made our dreams come true. He's got a right to his own as well!"

"Yeah, but… What will we do? These are our jobs we're talking about."

"We'll find something else. It's been an honour to work for you, Angelo."

"I know! You can make some kind of canteen and cook for all of us there!"

The soundstage was soon filled with chaos as everyone was shouting and commenting at the same time, whether in protest or to show their support for Angelo.

Jim wanted to cry out too. Tell Angelo he couldn’t do this. But not for the same mundane reasons the others were giving. No. He wanted Angelo out of the business, but not now. It was too soon. He wasn't ready.

He and Sebastian might have had a few successes and were building a devoted fanbase, but it was not enough. Far from it. They needed to be bigger. Famous. Or infamous. They needed contacts. And money.

At least they were still doing the foursome. And Seb had a couple of outdoors scenes lined up in a film that would start shooting in a few weeks, but it was not enough. They needed more. Jim had to convince Angelo to let them do more.

He didn’t care if he’d be working around the clock, he had to get his name out there. His face.

Moving away from the din, he began going over all their discarded ideas, trying to find something, anything that could be set up quickly. They could do another Kitten-film. Single-scene bondage would be easy too. And surely Tony could be talked into doing a threesome. The two of them serving their severe master...

"Jim?" Sebastian had followed him out of the room and gently took hold of his shoulder. "Are you okay? I mean, it's a bit of a shock, but we've got a lot of options..."

Jim spun around to grin up at Sebastian. “I need you to beat me,” he said. “Whips. Paddles. Whatever you’ve got hidden away. I want you to use it all on me. I want you to make me scream!”

Sebastian took a step back and blinked. "Now...?"

Jim giggled. “No, you dolt. For a film. Something really extreme. Dark.”

Sebastian frowned. "But Angelo isn't taking anything new..."

Jim hesitated, his smile almost faltering. “We could... shoot it at home. Or... at the club. I bet they have all kinds of stuff we can use. We could borrow a camera and ask Rob to help edit it at night or... or something...” He had to stop to catch his breath. “Please, Tiger... We have to do it. We’re out of time.”

Sebastian gently put his arms around him. "Or maybe this is just a sign that the time isn't ripe yet. That we should wait a little while so we can start strong."

“No!” Jim pushed him away. “We can’t wait. What do you want us to do when Angelo is gone? Start all over at a new studio? Selling soulless fucks to brainless wankers? Or maybe you want to go back to the stage? And then perhaps I could work the streets, huh? Is that what you want? Is it?”

"Of course not," Sebastian said quickly, looking worried. "I'm just saying we don't have to decide everything today..."

“Yes we do,” Jim looked around frantically. “I need to talk to Rob. And Tony. You can try and get to Angelo. See if he can squeeze us into any of the planned projects. Or maybe let us borrow a studio and some equipment when nobody's using it. Anything. We need to do as much as we can before it’s too late!”

"Okay. I'll talk to him." Sebastian was still frowning as he leaned in for a quick kiss.

Jim wasn't the only one who felt Angelo could have timed his retirement better. Tony was far from happy at the prospect of having to go job-hunting soon. He wasn't exactly a big name in the business. Jim barely had to hint that he was considering making films on his own before Tony was on his knees, begging to be included, offering to work for a ridiculous rate as long as he'd get screentime with the two of them. Rob took a bit more convincing.

He had, he told Jim, actually been considering getting out of the business for a while so Angelo's news suited him just fine. But by promising him a percentage and hinting at the possibility that he might give him a private show out of sheer gratitude, Jim convinced him to work some extra hours with him and Sebastian for as long as they had access to UMQRA's facilities.

Getting cameramen was no problem and as the rumour started spreading, Jim was approached by several of the youngest actors, looking for a chance to work with the two stars before it was too late. By the time they left the studio that night, Jim had the outline of a schedule that would keep them more than busy for the next couple of months and hopefully give them enough material to start out on their own. They only needed one thing.

"So…?" he asked Sebastian as he got on the motorcycle. "What did Angelo say?"

"He's okay with us using the studios in the evenings," Sebastian said. "As long as he doesn't have to work ridiculous hours himself. And of course he'll get part of the profits, since a lot of the production costs come down to him as well."

"He'll get some of it," Jim said reluctantly. "But we'll need most of it for ourselves. To get started."

Maybe they'd be able to buy the equipment from Angelo when he closed up. But not the studio itself. Jim wanted somewhere new. Somewhere that would be his.

He gave Sebastian a quick kiss. "Let's go home. We've got a lot of planning to do."

…

Jim pushed away the offered bottle of water and limped towards the dressing room. Behind him he could hear some of the crew cheering while the director was already barking orders at his assistants.

He had no doubt it was going to be an awesome movie, maybe one of their best, but right now he did not feel like celebrating. He just needed to be alone.

"Are you okay?" Pete wrapped an oversized robe around Jim's shoulders as he caught up with him. "I mean, you must be sore as hell but still… Are you okay?"

Jim stopped, his hand on the door, and looked at Pete. "What do you mean?"

Pete shrugged, but then raised his hand up to cup Jim's cheek. "I've just never seen you like this," he muttered.

Jim forced a smile, resisting the urge to lean into the touch. "I'm just tired, that's all."

Loud laughter sounded from the bed. “Oh, you’re very big and strong. But I’m still better at pinning people down and I’ll prove it if I must!”

There was more chuckling and the bed creaked as Sebastian and Richard put their excess energy into a play-fight.

Jim winced and quickly looked away, but Pete had seen. "What's wrong?" he insisted. "Are you dropping?"

"What?" Jim shook his head. "What do you mean?"

Pete smiled softly. "Sometimes people get a sort of reaction after a really intense session. Often it's about pain but being used like you just were can also put the body out of balance, I guess. Has it ever happened before? When you and Sebastian play?" He moved his hand up to stroke Jim's hair.

"No, I…" Jim's eyes closed of their own accord and he sighed. "I haven't, I mean… I really am just tired."

He felt an arm around his shoulder and a second later he was leaning on Pete's chest, not sure whether he should laugh, cry or just go to sleep.

"Seb!" Pete's voice rang out. "I think you're needed over here."

“Right away!” There was a small scuffle and another giggle before a pair of feet padded over.

“Hey, Kitten. Are you okay?” Sebastian’s large hand gently petted Jim’s back, while Pete was still holding him close.

Jim hissed and tried to shrug away. Pete patted his shoulder.

"I think you should get him out of here," he said to Sebastian in a low tone. "I mean, I don't know him as well as you do, but he's looking a bit off."

“Yeah…” Sebastian sounded a little hesitant. “I’m sorry. I should have been paying attention.”

"I'm fine," Jim huffed, managing to pull away from them both. "Just go back and celebrate or whatever you were doing. I'm gonna take a shower." He turned away and hesitated, disoriented.

"Jim…" Pete sounded unsure.

“I’ll help you,” Sebastian said, immediately by Jim’s side and softly taking hold of his elbow. “You shouldn’t be alone right now.”

"Why not?" Jim snarled, twitching at his touch. "There's nothing wrong with me."

“No,” Sebastian said. “Just humour me. I’d like to be close to you. After all this.”

Jim really didn't want to be with Sebastian right now, but trying to explain why seemed even worse, so he just shrugged. "Fine. Whatever. Now can I please go have that shower?"

“Of course, Kitten.” Sebastian opened the door for him and followed right behind.

The shower helped Jim clear his head a little. Making this film had been a mistake. Sure, it was going to be good and help them build their name as well as earn them some much-needed money, but this time the price might have been too high.

Not that Jim hadn't been able to handle the three men. He knew he would be feeling it for a while, but they had all been aiming to make it look a lot rougher than it actually was. Extra cameras had been set up and with some clever editing, the thirty minutes they had actually been shooting could easily be turned into twice that time. There were certainly enough positions and combinations to choose from.

No, the film itself wasn't the problem. But shooting it now had brought back all those feelings that Jim had been trying to bury since making his decision. Being caught between so many bodies had reminded him of New Year’s and how differently things might have gone if Sebastian had actually stuck with him. If he had been calling the shots like he did tonight. If he had taken care of Jim like he was supposed to.

His inner turmoil had been so engulfing that he had lost track of what was going on around him. For the first time during a shoot he had lost himself, which meant that his poses and expressions had been out of control. Nobody had remarked on it, yet, but he dreaded when the film came out and everyone would see.

At least Sebastian hadn't noticed anything. He was being as smug as ever, strutting around so full of himself that it made Jim want to scream. Or hit him.

“You were so beautiful today,” Sebastian purred in Jim’s ear as his palms drew soft circles on his back. “The most stunning Kitten in the world. Everyone who watches is going to be so jealous of me, you know that? No one can do what you can do. No one can make them feel like that. Or me…”

Jim opened his mouth to tell Sebastian exactly how he wanted to make him feel right now, but stopped himself just in time. He couldn't do that here. No matter how Sebastian took it, it was bound to cause some kind of stir. A loud fight or, worse, crying… There'd be rumours. Career-shattering rumours. He couldn't risk that. Not now.

So instead, dredging up his sweetest smile, he turned to Sebastian and cocked his head as he looked up at him. "And nobody can make me feel like you can… Tiger…" he purred.

Sebastian smiled and leaned down to kiss him.

Closing his eyes, Jim fell into character and returned the kiss eagerly. This wasn't what he wanted, but he couldn't think of a way to get Sebastian out of here quickly, so he might as well play along and make it go smoothly.

Sebastian lifted him a little off the floor and stepped forward, pressing Jim against the wall.

Jim quickly turned his annoyed huff into what he hoped sounded like an excited gasp. Was Sebastian seriously trying to get off again? Already? Didn't he realise what state Jim's arse was in? He managed to get his hands between them and pushed softly but insistently against Sebastian's chest, trying to signal him to back off.

To his surprise, Sebastian let go of him so suddenly that he almost lost his balance.

“Sorry,” he said, steadying Jim. “You probably don’t want to stand up this long. I thought leaning against the wall might help, but… We should probably just get you out of here, right? Spoil you properly at home. You’ve more than earned it.”

Jim frowned up at him. Now he was being considerate? Well, too fucking late. "Yeah, whatever," he said, moving past Sebastian and reaching for a towel. "Home sounds good. I'm exhausted."

Sebastian nodded and stepped closer again, taking the towel from Jim and wrapping it tightly around him.

To his own surprise Jim found himself relaxing immediately. It wasn't because of the warmth of the towel, at least he didn't think so. It was more like a pleasant sense of déjà vu. He closed his eyes and let his body remember for him. Remember how he'd been able to let go completely when Sebastian held him down. How the ropes and chains had taken away his power and responsibility and let him just exist for a while.

Sebastian had taught him that. Perhaps things were coming to an end soon and what they had become was gone, but… Maybe he could still have that. Not as Sebastian's sub but just a guy letting another guy take care of him. Like Sebastian's clients at the club. They weren't in a relationship with him but still got a lot out of the things he did to them. Jim could do that too. And not even have to pay for it.

He leaned back against Sebastian and sighed. "Tighter," he whispered. "Please…"

Sebastian’s hands stilled for a moment. “The towel?” he asked.

"Anything," Jim answered, keeping his voice soft and meek. "Use what you want, just please… Bind me. Secure me. I need to be… I need you to restrain me." Better not let Sebastian know he was just a tool in this. Not yet.

“Now?” Sebastian asked. “Are you sure, Kitten? That you want this here and now?”

Jim considered his answer, then sighed. "You saw what I just went through. Can you blame me for needing some peace? Some control?"

“Of course not.” Sebastian kissed the side of his neck and held the towel together with one hand, reaching out for something. “I’ll give you everything you need. Whatever you ask of me.”

He showed Jim the bathrobe sash he’d plucked off the hook and then let go of the towel. It dropped to the floor but Jim didn’t mind much as Sebastian took hold of his wrists right away and tied them together with the sash. “How is that?”

Jim tugged a little on the sash, testing it. He could easily free himself if he wanted to. "Not enough," he mumbled. "It's not enough."

“Okay.” Sebastian picked up the towel, but then halted. “Do you think you can stand? Or would you rather sit?”

Jim clenched his muscles experimentally and winced. "Standing is fine," he huffed. "Just get on with it."

Sebastian nodded. “Sorry. Didn’t want you to be uncomfortable. Well, you know. More than necessary.” He knelt in front of Jim and tied the towel around his feet.

Jim scowled down at the top of Sebastian's head. This was all wrong. Wasn't he supposed to be the strong dominant one, taking control? Instead he was asking Jim what he wanted. And actually kneeling… "Stop…" he huffed. "It's not… I don't… Just…" He sighed. "Just stop."

Sebastian leaned back on his heels and looked up at him. “Okay. Should I untie you?”

Jim shrugged and pulled his hands free. "No need," he said. "Just get dressed, okay? So we can get out of here."

“Okay.” Sebastian nodded and got to his feet.

Chapter Text

Over the next couple of days, Jim did his best to avoid Sebastian as much as possible. He couldn't convince him to let Jim spend the nights alone in his own flat, at least not without directly demanding it, but he did avoid sex, on account of him still being sore, and conversation, by focusing on the numerous scripts he was working on.

Sebastian too seemed intent on some privacy. At least he left Jim alone except when asking what he wanted for dinner or at night when he insisted on cuddling. Jim could live with that. They'd been sleeping like that for so long that he suspected that the lack of a large warm body at his side might actually make falling asleep difficult. But he made sure always to be out of the bed before Sebastian woke up, thus avoiding the usual cosy talk and snogging.

In between working on the scripts, he couldn't help thinking about the aborted bondage session in the dressing room. On the morning of the fourth day, while nursing his third cup of coffee, he had an epiphany. Of course Sebastian had been all gentle and wrong. When bondage was about sex, he could be all rough and controlling, but when it was not, he seemed to treat it as a sensual thing, which meant servicing Jim rather than handling him.

Stupid Jim! Didn't he know anything?

So, he mused, if he wanted to be tied down good, he'd have to give Sebastian sex in exchange. That wasn't so bad. In fact, he would probably enjoy that. But he doubted it would give him the relief that he craved. It was kind of hard to feel serene with a beefy Dom pounding into you.

So something else. What else could put his mind at ease and help him not think?

He giggled as it hit him and he quickly turned off his laptop and put it aside. As he tiptoed to the bedroom, he tried to remember what the agreement had been. It seemed ages ago they'd had that conversation after playing with Pete and Ronald at the club. Jim had been so riled up and Sebastian had been really good about it, helping him find a way that worked for him. It had been so simple. And easy.

He giggled again, remembering all the outrageous tricks he had pulled, just to see how much he could get away with. It had been so much fun. Even that time with the paddle, though he hadn't been too sure about it at first.

Too bad really, that they had let that part slip. Maybe if he'd let Sebastian spank him some more, he could have kept him satisfied longer. Well, spilt milk and all that.

Jim pulled off his trousers and pants, keeping his t-shirt on, knowing that Sebastian wouldn't be able to resist the way it didn't quite cover his bum.

He paused a moment, studying Sebastian's sleeping form, then pounced on him, landing across his stomach with an eager squeal. "Time to get up, Tiger!"

“Unnf… What the fuck?” Sebastian tried to sit up, but only bumped into Jim and blinked. “Jim?”

"You're such a lazy Tiger!" Jim laughed and poked Sebastian's side, hard. "Just a big, fat, stupid, lazy Tiger." He squirmed around, 'accidentally' flashing Sebastian his bare arse for a second before grinning wickedly at him.

Sebastian blinked a few times more before he threw Jim off and pinned him down with his weight in turn. “Oh yeah? How’s this for lazy?” He bit Jim’s shoulder.

Jim wriggled under him. "Oh no!" he whimpered. "I'm getting crushed by the big fat Tiger. Help me!"

Sebastian growled. “It’s too late to help you now…” He pressed his hips down.

Jim pretended to submit for a second and then rammed his knee up as hard as he could into Sebastian's thigh. "Get off me, stupid Tiger!" he yelled.

A fire Jim hadn’t seen in days appeared in Sebastian’s eyes. “Oh, you’re in trouble. I dare you to call me stupid again…”

"Stuuupiiid…" Jim sang. "Fat and stuuuupiiiid."

Sebastian lifted his weight a little, but rather than getting off him and pulling him over his lap like Jim had been hoping, he slapped him hard in the face.

Jim snapped his mouth shut and stared up at Sebastian. Had he gone too far? Was this still a game or was Sebastian so angry that he was going to really hurt him? He searched Sebastian's eyes, but couldn't find an answer there.

They stared at each other for a few seconds, before Sebastian said: “Bad Kitten.” He sounded almost tender.

"Oh yes…." Jim's face split in a wide grin. "Very bad Kitten!"

“You know what that means.” Sebastian did get off him now and sat on the edge of the bed, pointing at his lap.

Without hesitation, Jim flung himself happily across Sebastian's thighs, digging his fingers into the sheets, closing his eyes in expectation.

“So you’re a good Kitten now, huh?” Sebastian remarked, sounding amused.

"Not at all," Jim said happily. "I'm a naughty wicked kitten teasing the stupid tiger." He wriggled his bum invitingly.

The first hard smack felt like pure bliss and was followed by a series of fast slaps that almost left Jim breathless. Yes! This was what he needed. If only Sebastian would actually hold him down, he'd be able to let go completely. To just feel. But why should Sebastian? Jim hadn't exactly been fighting against this, had he? He considered squirming a little, attempting to get away, so that maybe Sebastian would take hold of him to keep him in place.

But just thinking about it had already ruined it. Had reminded him how completely out of sync they had gone over these past weeks. Back when spanking had been a regular, almost daily occurrence, Sebastian had known almost exactly what Jim needed. Whether it should be rough or playful, quick or teasingly slow. And he'd never once misjudged exactly how much Jim could take, always taking him right to the edge of his endurance. And then rewarded him with praise and mind-blowing sex.

Jim tensed at the memory. Would he try and praise him today? They hadn't exactly had any profound conversation or even an actual confrontation leading up to the spanking. Just Jim being insufferably bratty and embarrassingly childish. Surely Sebastian would know that this wasn't that kind of session, right? That Jim just wanted some fun.

Except he hadn't wanted fun, he'd wanted control, and Sebastian wasn't giving it to him. Sure, he'd used his stern voice and ordered Jim over his knee, but there hadn't been any actual force involved. And even though he was still spanking diligently, there was no thrill in it. Just pain, disappointment and a growing sense of boredom.

Should he just say 'colonel' and get it over with? But no, if he did that, Sebastian would want to talk about what had gone wrong. He wouldn't just let Jim go off and mope, which was all he wanted to do. So how else could he stop the spanking? Preferably without it ending in Sebastian going off on one of his rants about how good Jim was.

He considered his options, which wasn't all that easy with the sound on Sebastian's hand on his arse ringing in his ears. But the answer was obvious.

He suppressed a sigh and began grinding against Sebastian's thigh, willing himself hard. When Sebastian's hand slowed down, he let out a breathless moan followed by a whispered: "Fuck me! Please!"

"Why would you want a stupid Tiger to fuck you?" Sebastian asked, his hand smoothing over one of Jim's arsecheeks.

Jim groaned, glad Sebastian couldn’t see him roll his eyes. “ My Tiger?” he tried.

"Okay. Let's see if you can convince me," Sebastian said, giving him one last pat. "Get on your knees."

Seriously? Could nothing go right today?

Jim moved off Sebastian, but rather than kneeling, he got to his feet. “You know what,” he said, looking away. “I just figured out how to wrap up that scene I was struggling with. Sorry I woke you up.” He turned to leave.

Sebastian let out an audible sigh and grabbed Jim's hips, pulling him back into his lap. "I thought so," he muttered. "You're still not ready to be good."

Jim did struggle this time, trying to squirm away. “No, you big dolt,” he protested. “I’ve got work to do!”

"You've done nothing but work since we filmed!" Sebastian threw him on the mattress and was on top of him immediately, pinning him down again. Even though Jim managed to kick him several times, he didn't move a muscle, glaring down at him. "You're not okay. You're avoiding everyone. Even me. You haven't properly talked to me in days and suddenly you're on me, asking for a beating."

Jim stared up at Sebastian. This was it. Now was the time to open up. To tell Sebastian that he was sorry that he could not give him everything that he needed. And that it was okay. That Sebastian should go out and find someone who could fulfil him. That Jim would be happy for him. If he was honest with Sebastian now, things might be okay. Maybe they could stay friends. Maybe even casual lovers. This was his chance to make things right. Maybe his only chance.

He huffed. “I’m fine. Or I would be if you would just give me some space.”

Sebastian's face hardened. "Fine. I'll give you space." He got off the bed and picked up his clothes. "A lot of it. So you can think about how I feel when all you ever want from me is pain."

“Isn’t that what you wanted all along?” Jim spat at him, wrapping the duvet around himself as he got up too. “You sure put a lot of effort into turning me into a needy little sub. And now you’ve broken me, you’ve realised that it’s not what you want after all? That I’m not man enough for you?”

Sebastian looked at him as if he were the one who'd received the beating. "I didn't turn you into anything. I only ever wanted to make you feel good."

He buttoned his jeans and left the room.

Jim didn’t move until he heard the front door slam. Then he threw himself on the bed, laughing. He was free. Finally!

The tears must have been from relief.

Chapter Text

The two Kittens lay snuggled together in their basket. Their eyes were closed and both seemed to be asleep as the view shifted around them, taking in the details of their collars, painted noses and whiskers, and the soft, sleek tails: one tabby, one black, tangled in their legs. After a while the black Kitten stirred, yawned and stretched and then turned around, giving its friend a playful soft push in the chest before leaning in to lick its cheek lazily. The other Kitten yawned too and then butted its friend's chin softly to get in to lick its neck. They both shifted around a little, continuing to lick each other, moving from face and neck down to chest and shoulders and then, as the tabby Kitten turned around in the basket, they licked, kissed and nuzzled each other’s stomachs. There was some more shifting and the black Kitten began lapping at the Tabby's slowly hardening cock.

With a lot of licking, soft biting and playful pulling of tails, they pleasured each other for a long time, their movements and sounds shifting from lazy to eager and then frantic. The Tabby climaxed first, squirting white streaks all over the face of the black Kitten, who followed close behind, mewling as it came.

Suddenly there was a sound above them and they both looked up guiltily as a large reddish-blond man loomed into view.

"Look who's being naughty!" he boomed. "Why is it that every time I leave the house you two get into trouble?"

Both Kittens meowed and scrambled out of their basket to kneel at the man's feet, shouldering each other out of the way to get closest to him. As the man crouched, he chuckled. "But you know I can't stay mad at my two darlings, which probably means that as soon as I turn my back, you'll be at it again, won't you?"

The black Kitten cocked its head and looked up at him, its innocent expression ruined by the incriminating streaks slowly sliding down its face. The Tabby didn't even try to look contrite but just grinned up at the man and wriggled its butt eagerly.

"Oh, come here," the man said, straightening up and walking to the bathroom. The Kittens scampered after him, their tails wagging playfully, but both obediently sat down on the cold tile floor as he used a damp cloth to clean their messy faces. "Now go play," he said, patting the Tabby's cheek and ruffling the black Kitten's hair. "And be good."

They returned to the living room and played for a while with a couple of fluffy toys, but then the black Kitten accidentally put its knee on the Tabby's tail, earning itself an angry hiss and hard push that sent it tumbling to the floor. Before it could regain its balance, the Tabby pounced and for a while they struggled, rolling around on the floor, scratching and biting at each other without causing more damage than a few red marks.

Rather than intervene, the man settled back in his chair to watch them, grinning happily and rubbing the bulge in his jeans.

When the two finally broke apart, panting and ruffled, he called them over, and as he spread his legs and opened his jeans, they eagerly dove in to lick and nibble at his cock and, when they got the clothes out of the way, his balls and thighs. The man groaned and tangled his hands in the two Kittens' hair, almost knocking the headband with ears off the head of the Tabby.

His grip tightened and he pulled their heads back a little as he came, once again making a mess of their pretty faces. Then he let go and tucked himself in while watching them lick each other clean.

…

As soon as Chester yelled cut, Tony grimaced. "This fake stuff tastes awful. I don't understand why we can't just use the real deal. I mean, it was already there…?" He frowned at Jim, who just shrugged and reached for the offered towel to wipe his face.

"This is safer," Jim said, and then giggled and used the towel to clean a blob off Tony's eyebrow. "I'm sorry. I missed a bit."

Tony laughed too and took the towel from Jim just as Richard came over and hooked his arms around their shoulders.

"That was amazing," he grinned. "I've never done anything like this and I was actually a bit hesitant when I read the script. I mean, a porn without any fucking? What's the point in that?" He shook his head. "But I was wrong. That was so fucking hot!" He looked at Jim. "It's going to be even better than the one with Sebastian."

Jim tensed a little and nodded.

"Yeah," Tony said quickly. "That one was good, but this will be better. I can't wait to see the shots of us in the basket. I mean… Twink-city! With tails and ears!"

Jim matched his laugh and even reached out to give his shoulder a little squeeze. "Yeah, you did well. And you too, Richard," he said, smiling up at him. "It was probably for the best that Seb couldn't do this one. Having the same guy would just have been confusing when I was being a different Kitten, right?"

The other two glanced at each other. Richard shrugged and Tony nodded. "Yeah, of course, Jim," he said, putting his hand over Jim's.

There was an awkward pause, then Richard muttered something about being peckish and walked off. Tony slung the towel over his shoulder. "This tail is starting to feel a little uncomfortable," he said, gesturing to his bum. "Do you think you can give me a hand with it?"

Jim grinned and nodded. "Sure," he said, gesturing for Tony to follow him to the dressing rooms. "I must warn you though, pulling it out after so long can feel a bit… unpleasant…" He winked.

To his surprise, Tony took his hand and winked too. "Well, maybe you can distract me from that? And I'll return the favour, of course."

…

Jim was feeling slightly dazed as he got out of the taxi. The mutual wank in the dressing room hadn't been that strange. After all, they were both still worked up after the last scene where neither of them had gotten to finish. But somehow it had led to a long snogging-session in the showers and, Jim still didn't quite understand how, ended up with Jim fucking Tony in one of the soft chairs.

Jim had felt fumbling and clumsy, but Tony had clearly enjoyed it very much and only needed a few strokes to come all over his stomach. While he cleaned up, Jim had quickly tossed the condom into the bin, dressed himself and bolted before Tony could return from the shower.

That was not going to be awkward the next time they met....

Jim still couldn't believe he had fucked Tony, but what was he supposed to do? They had both been feeling giddy after the shoot and while they were making out in the shower, Tony kept hinting how he felt all empty now the plug was out and how that always made him so incredibly horny.

So Jim had obliged. Wasn't that what a good 'sub' was supposed to do? He huffed and pushed that particular thought aside as he slid the key into the lock and let himself into his small flat.

Sebastian hadn't been in touch since he'd stormed out over a week ago. Jim had half expected him to come back at some point. Or at least call. Send a text. Something.

But nothing had happened and as Jim got the go-ahead on the new Kitten movie from Angelo, he made a swift decision and offered the third part to Richard. Tony had probed him a little about the change of plans, but when Jim hinted that he and Sebastian were 'taking a break', Tony backed off and even, Jim suspected, let the rest of the crew know not to talk about it.

In fact, Tony had been great this past week. Jim doubted he would have gotten the film done without his subtle support. It was a strange feeling having someone he could depend on like that. They weren't together in any way (well, except for today in the dressing room, but that had been after…) They just sort of hung out together. It was almost like having a friend.

Well, that was definitely ruined now and no big loss. Once he started his own company, Jim didn't need a hopeful friend asking for special favours. Sure, Tony had some talent, but he wasn't exactly star-material.

Jim's musings were broken by a sudden tingling sound and he looked down just in time to see a small silvery object skid across the floor and under the small cabinet under the mirror. A key! Not his own, because that was still in his hand. Figuring it must have been on the floor so he had kicked it when stepping inside, Jim knelt down to try and get his hand under the cabinet. But before he could reach out, he froze. It really could only be one specific key, couldn't it? And the only reason for it being on the floor just inside the flat was if someone had dropped it through the mail slot.

He sat back leaning against the wall. So Sebastian had been here. He had been here while Jim was at the studio shooting the movie they were supposed to have done together. Or while he was in the dressing room with Tony… He pushed that thought aside and closed his eyes.

It really was over. Not just a break or a prolonged tiff. Sebastian wasn't testing him to see how long he could hold out before he'd come crawling back. He was done with him. He had moved on. Jim hoped that he had already found somebody new. Somebody better.

The empty pit inside him made him realise that he hadn't had anything to eat since breakfast and, with a heavy sigh, he got to his feet and made his way to the kitchen. There wasn't much in the cupboards but he did manage to scrape together a decent meal which he ate in front of the telly, the loud soundtrack of a brainless American sitcom drowning out the silence of his flat.

That night he had a long, unsuccessful wank and then cried himself to sleep. It had, after all, been a long and exhausting day.

…

There was some buzz at the studio about Sebastian stepping in to do a mouthwatering scene in one of Ryan's films, but Jim mostly ignored it as he went about setting up for his next project. The plan was still to squeeze in as much work as he could before Angelo closed up shop. Doing it alone just meant that he had to work twice as hard.

Tony was avoiding him now, but Jim did manage to convince some of the lads from The Master’s Servants to join him for a silly, giggly group thing with no plot but a lot of gorgeous bodies and sensual play.

On Friday afternoon, Jonathan called him to say that stage 2 was free on Sunday if he still wanted to do that bondage thing they had talked about in the fall. Jim's heart sank. That one had really been all Sebastian's idea and Jim had only agreed to it because he was ridiculously happy at the time. But still… The script was ready (not that there was much story to it) and all the ropes and stuff were stored in a bag in one of the lockers at the studio. It would be stupid to miss the opportunity.

He told Jonathan that the shoot was on and then texted Richard to check if he'd be up for it, promising that there would be some fucking involved this time. At first Richard seemed eager, but when they met up at the pub to take a look at the script, he declined almost immediately.

"It's not that I wouldn't want another go at you, Jim," he said. "Believe me, I'd love that. But all those ropes and shit… I've never really worked with that. There's no way I could learn it before Sunday."

Jim gritted his teeth and then smiled, assuring Richard that it was no problem and that he too would love for them to work together again soon.

Apparently Richard had heard the rumour about Jim and Sebastian too, because when they were saying goodbye, he leaned in, kissed Jim's cheek and gave his bum a hard squeeze.

"You know, we wouldn't necessarily need a camera..." he whispered in his ear. "Just saying…"

Jim forced himself to laugh as he swatted Richard's chest. "Yeah, I know… Maybe some other time, okay? I really do need to find a guy for this film."

"Sure thing!" Richard winked and gave him another squeeze. "You have my number."

Jim nodded and hurried away.

Shit!

...

When Jim got to Gomorrah, there was no sign of Pete. Ignoring the rather crass disciplining happening on the stage, Jim made his way to the toy-bar and asked the women working it if they had seen him.

"Oh yeah," one of them said, frowning. "He's working tonight. I think he's pretty booked, so if you don't have an appointment, I really don't think he'll have time for you. But I can set you up with someone else if you want, luv." She looked him up and down, considered for a moment and then picked up the ledger lying behind the bar. "Angela's free right now. Or Ronald…"

"No," Jim said quickly. "It's fine. I just need to talk to Pete. About… other stuff…"

"Oh…" The woman smiled sympathetically. "Well, in that case, I suggest you hang around, kid. He'll be taking a break soon, I suspect."

Jim thanked her and went over to the other bar to buy a beer. He had just sat down to wait when he noticed a lot of people watching him and whispering behind their hands. He supposed it was only to be expected. With the kind of films he and Sebastian had been making together, most people in the scene probably knew who he was. Especially here, since many would have watched the films simply because Sebastian was in them and he was semi-famous in this place.

He also had a lot of friends here and Jim realised that most of the attention might just as easily be because of their relationship and break-up. Maybe they were mad at Jim for dumping Seb (though it really mostly had been the other way around, hadn't it?). Or resentful that he dared show his face here. This was, in a way, Sebastian's territory and Jim could easily believe that his friends would see him as a trespasser.

Feeling exposed and insecure, Jim quickly finished his beer and left the bar, choosing to roam the dim corridor instead, where people would be more focused on watching the action in the rooms than staring at him.

He tried watching a couple of scenes himself, but nothing really caught his attention. Just average-looking people getting their kink on without taking any real care to make it look good for their audience. And why should they, really? They weren't here to perform, but to have a good time.

He was returning from the loo when he spotted him. Pete was coming up from the private rooms downstairs, one arm around the waist of a plump, giggly woman squeezed into pink latex, the other over the shoulders of a middle-aged man wearing dark trousers and a tie. The man's chest was covered in red welts which were probably made by the riding crop the woman was carrying, and he looked so ridiculously happy that Jim was painfully reminded how long it had been since he'd had a good spanking himself.

Too bad Pete was working tonight, or he'd surely have been happy to help with that.

The thought made Jim giggle and just then Pete spotted him.

"Hey, Jim!" he called, freeing himself from the couple and hurrying over to give Jim a fierce hug. Jim flung his arms around him and buried his face in Pete's chest. He smelled of sweat and sex and Jim felt better than he had in a long time.

"Jimmie boy!" Pete breathed, nuzzling Jim's hair. "It's so good to see you. It's been far too long."

"Yeah, sorry," Jim said, beaming up at him as they pulled apart. "I've been… busy…" His smile faltered a little as Pete frowned and nodded.

"I know. Sebastian has told me about it. Some of it." He kept one arm around Jim, steering him over to a corner booth that had just been vacated. "Wanna talk about it?"

Jim shook his head quickly. No, he did not want to talk about Sebastian at all. Ever. "That's not why I'm here," he said and Pete’s expression changed to something Jim couldn't quite read. "I need your help."

"Oh, with what?" Pete leaned a little closer to hear over the din of the music and the screams and groans from the stage.

Jim quickly explained about the movie tomorrow and how he didn't really know anyone else with those particular skills and Pete looked so good on camera and…

Pete stopped him with a gentle finger to his lips. "I'm flattered that you'd ask me, Jim," he said, his voice low and serious. "But I'm not going to do another film with you. Not now."

Jim tried to protest, but Pete kept his finger in place and looked straight into Jim's eyes. "You know I'm not the one supposed to be tying those ropes," he said sternly. "You shouldn't even be asking me to. That is Sebastian's film. He planned it. He should be the one doing it. And besides… You two really need to sort this out."

Jim drew in a deep sigh and closed his eyes, not wanting to hear this.

"Look at me!" Pete snapped and Jim's eyes flew open before he could stop them. He felt the heat rise in his cheeks.

"I don't know everything that happened between you," Pete said, speaking more softly again. "I don't know if things can be saved or if they even should. But I do know you are both miserable right now. Jim, you're practically manic and from what I can see you haven't been taking proper care of yourself. And Sebastian… I've never seen him like that. It's…" It was Pete's turn to sigh and he shook his head.

"Please, Jim. Go talk to him. Get yourselves sorted out. For the sake of your sanity as well as your careers. And do this film with him. Don't rob the world of the perfection that is Moran and Moriarty."

Jim's eyes were burning, probably from staring at Pete for so long. He blinked rapidly, feeling some moisture escape and roll down his cheeks as he nodded.

"Okay," he whispered. "I'll go talk to him. I promise."

"That's a good boy," Pete said and leaned over the table to give Jim a soft, lingering kiss. "Tonight, okay?"

Jim nodded and got up to leave, discreetly wiping the corner of his eye.

Pete caught his wrist. "Jim!" he said. "When you go to him… Don't make it about sex or kink, okay? Make it about him. Let him know how you feel about him. How much you need him. Not his cock or his skills or his gorgeous body. Him! As a person!"

Chapter Text

On the way over to Sebastian's flat, Pete's words kept replaying in Jim's mind.

His initial plan had indeed been to just rush in and seduce Sebastian. Drop to his knees and give him a blowjob he would never forget and then let him have his way with Jim any way he wanted to. That would be the easy fix, wouldn't it? They'd fuck it out, do some afterglow cuddly-talk and be ready in time for tomorrow's shoot.

But, considering how Sebastian had stormed out last time he'd seen him, maybe that wasn't enough this time. Maybe he really did need to take it further. Needed to… court him?

Could Jim pull that off? Make Sebastian think that he was… Was what? In love with him? Had things gone so far? Jim supposed it made some sort of sense. For all his dominant blustering, Sebastian was a simple guy, really. Underneath it all, he might just want what everybody seemed to want. Romance and domestic bliss. It did fit well with his obsession with bottoming. If he was no longer in it just for the sex, then that did seem a logical way to go about manipulating Jim into giving more.

Jim seriously considered just giving up on the film. Maybe Jonathan would agree to just doing a wank-scene instead? It wouldn't be as interesting, but with Jim's growing fame, surely there'd be some demand for it.

But not enough. He needed the money and he needed to make something big. To impress. And for that, he did need Sebastian. There was no way around it. They were just too good together.

If that meant faking a relationship to make Sebastian happy, surely Jim could pull that off. He was an actor, for fuck's sake!

He had the cab drop him off at the Tesco on the corner of Sebastian's street and managed to find a decent bottle of wine and even a bunch of orange roses that weren't too wilted.

His heart was pounding by the time he rung Sebastian's doorbell and as he heard footsteps approaching, he thought he might faint.

Sebastian opened the door halfway and then froze as he saw Jim. He just stared at him for a long, silent moment.

“Roses,” he stated.

“Yeah...” Jim grinned sheepishly and held them out to him. “That’s what you’re supposed to do, right? When you've messed up?”

Sebastian studied him some more. He looked... normal, actually. Far more serious than usual, but after talking to Pete, Jim had expected he’d look tired or depressed.

"I'm not really the type for roses," Sebastian said finally. "And I thought you weren't, either. Maybe you'd better take them to someone else."

Jim bit his lip. “I figured it was time to do something different. Because I’ve obviously been doing everything wrong lately.”

"I heard you did pretty okay. Sounds like the Kitten film is going to be good." Sebastian still didn't show any kind of emotion.

Jim shrugged. “It was alright,” he said. “Didn’t quite have the feel of the first one, but considering that all the focus was on the pets, it made sense to let the owner kind of fade into the background. They’ll probably edit completely around his face. So it’ll be easier for the viewer to imagine themselves in his place.” He looked up at Sebastian, hoping he would get his point. That Sebastian was too good for a part like that.

Sebastian nodded slowly. "So you didn't need me. Until now?"

Jim nodded, then quickly added: “I mean, I did need you, but not for a film. I needed you for... For me! For just, y’know, being there. Being together.”

How was he going to broach the subject of the bondage movie tomorrow if Sebastian was already this paranoid?

Sebastian sighed. "Come in. I don't think we should do this where the neighbours can hear every word."

“Right...” Jim hesitated, then hurried inside. It was strange being in Sebastian’s flat again. Not that it was long ago since he’d been here last, but still. Everything had changed since then.

He remembered the bottle of wine and offered it to Sebastian. “Better?” he asked.

"Yeah," Sebastian said. "Guess I can make use of that no matter how this conversation ends. Just put it on the counter. And the roses too. I don't think I have a vase."

Jim did as he was told, keeping his head down. “You... You really hate me?” he muttered.

Sebastian scoffed. "How could I hate you?"

“Haven’t I made it easy for you?” Jim asked. “I treated you like crap. I never once apologised for all the shit I put you through. I did the Kitten-thing without even asking you, even though we created the character together.” I fucked Tony... But Sebastian didn’t know that. How could he? There was no way Tony would have blabbed. Unless, of course, he was pissed enough about Jim taking off. He suppressed a groan. Sebastian probably knew everything.

"You did all that," Sebastian agreed, sitting down on the sofa, facing away from Jim. "But I still couldn't hate you. I was just waiting. I thought that if you wanted to fix this, you'd come to me and talk. And you didn't. So I figured you were done with me."

Jim settled on one of the chairs, wanting to give Sebastian space. For now.

“I know it’s too late, but... I’m here now. You know how slow I am about working these things out.” He let out a sad little laugh. “Remember how long it took me to accept that I... that we were together?”

"Why are you here?" Sebastian asked. "Really?"

“I miss you.” Jim let his voice crack a little. “And I’m sorry.”

"Do you know what for?"

Jim could think of a lot of things Sebastian would want him to be sorry for. But which one was the right one now? Sorry for refusing to fuck Sebastian? For Tony? The movie? Pushing Sebastian away or using him for sex and pain?

“For hurting you...” Yes, that might work. “For all the stupid things I did.”

"Will you talk to me? If we try this again?" Sebastian turned towards him.

“I will try,” Jim answered. “But I do sometimes get a bit lost in my head.”

Sebastian's face finally broke into a small smile. "You don't say."

Jim smiled too. “Yeah. You hadn’t noticed?”

"No, I thought it was completely normal to live with someone who barely said a word to me." Sebastian held out his hand. "Good thing I'll be around again to lead the way out of your head, right?"

Surprised by the rush of relief washing over him, Jim darted forward to take the offered hand. “You know I’m lost without you,” he purred.

Sebastian smiled and pulled him close. "I missed you too."

Jim nuzzled Sebastian’s neck gratefully. “It’s been hell,” he sighed.

"Yeah." Sebastian gently stroked his back. "I really didn't want this to be over."

“Me neither.” There was still so much left to be done. But it would have to wait. Right now he needed to focus completely on Sebastian. Making sure he didn’t blow this.

He lifted his head enough to look up at Sebastian. “Is it okay if I... if I kiss you?”

"Yeah." Sebastian gave him a gentle peck.

Jim giggled. “We can do better than that.” He cupped Sebastian’s cheeks with his hands and gave him a long, slow kiss.

Sebastian hummed and answered it eagerly.

Jim actually lost himself a little in the kiss and when he came to his senses again they were lying on the sofa, arms around each other, legs tangled together and their hair and clothes in glorious disarray.

“That was... nice...” He grinned dazedly at Sebastian.

"Welcome back, Kitten." Sebastian chuckled.

He was about to lean in again when the bell made them both jump.

"Oh. My food!" Sebastian got to his feet. "You'll eat with me, right? I ordered enough."

“You always do,” Jim teased. “Go get the food. I’ll open the wine.”

Sebastian stole one last quick kiss before hurrying to the door.

…

There certainly was plenty of food. If Jim had been on his own, it would probably have lasted him several days, but Sebastian always did have quite an appetite and Jim found that he actually enjoyed watching him stuff himself. Eating alone had become a chore lately, one he was all too likely to put off or forget entirely. But as he and Sebastian sat together, chatting around mouthfuls and washing the food down with a little too much wine, he easily emptied his plate twice and even managed to steal a few bites off Sebastian's fork. While Sebastian put the leftovers in the fridge, Jim cleared the table and had even started doing the dishes, but Sebastian took the plate from his hands and put it down. "No need for that. Can we just sit together for a bit?"

“Of course,” Jim said, and snuggled up to Sebastian as soon as they were on the sofa. He really had missed some of it.

Sebastian hummed and pulled Jim half on top of him again. "Will you stay the night?"

“If you want me to.” He sighed. “The nights were the worst, I think. I couldn’t sleep without you.”

Sebastian smiled. "I guess the make-up department will be glad we're back together." He gave Jim another kiss before he asked: "When are you filming again?"

Jim tensed and did some quick thinking. “Tomorrow,” he said hesitantly. “It’s one of your ideas actually. I got offered the time yesterday and had to act quickly, so... I didn’t think you’d want to work with me when we were still... y’know. So I found this other guy who’s done a few films abroad, who says he has some experience with ropes and... things.” Jim shrugged.

"Oh. That's nice," Sebastian said. "I hope he'll do well."

“I hope so too,” Jim said, hiding his smile by resting his head on Sebastian’s shoulder. “I mean, I haven’t seen any of his stuff, but he sounds like he knows what he’s doing.” He hesitated a moment, then added: “He suggested we rough it up a bit. I mean, I’m more experienced than when we wrote the script, right? I can handle it.” He had let his voice dwindle until it was barely more than a whisper.

"Yeah," Sebastian agreed. "You've come a long way. But do tell him when you're not okay with his suggestions, okay?"

“It’s just a film,” Jim said in an unconvincing dismissive tone. “The most important thing is that it looks good. But he said he’d seen all my movies, many times... So I figure he’ll know how to display me at my best.”

"Film or not, you should feel comfortable," Sebastian said, frowning a little. "There really is no shame in talking about stuff like that..."

Jim giggled. "Have you met me?" he teased.

"That's why I keep telling you. Maybe it'll get through your thick skull one day!" Sebastian chuckled.

"Probably not before tomorrow," Jim said, his smile fading again. "But it will be fine. I mean, it's just a character, not me. And it is a really important movie. If I start making too much of a fuss, he might back out and there's no time to find a backup."

"Don't you kind of have a backup?" Sebastian raised an eyebrow.

Jim shook his head. "I've already asked Richard..." he begun.

Sebastian snorted. "Not Richard!"

"Pete? He's working." Jim flashed his most innocent smile.

"You bad Kitten!" Sebastian started tickling his sides.

"What?" Jim squirmed. "Who else at the studio could handle something like that?"

Sebastian stopped and frowned. "Don't you want to work with me anymore? I mean... I understand. Maybe we got things a little too tangled up between work and our life. But... We did look good, right?"

Jim blinked a few times and then beamed at Sebastian. "Of course I want to work with you!" he squealed, flinging his arms around him. "I just... I wasn't sure you wanted to..."

Sebastian hugged him back and kissed his temple. "I think we can work this out. The work versus life thing. And in that case, I'd love to keep doing it."

"We better start planning then," Jim said, sitting up straight. "We have to be at the studio by 7. And ready to shoot at 8."

"Tomorrow?" Sebastian asked. "But... What about the other guy? Won't you let him try first?"

"Why would I?" Jim said, getting out his phone and pretending to compose a text. "It's your movie, after all." He leaned up and kissed Sebastian.

Chapter Text

“Fuck, I really did miss this,” Sebastian said as he slowly unwound the ropes that had been holding Jim. “You looked gorgeous.”

“He did,” Jonathan agreed, packing up the camera.

Jim leaned on Sebastian, so relaxed he wondered if he’d ever get full control of his limbs again. “I missed it too,” he purred. “More than I knew.” It had felt so good, letting Sebastian take complete control. He’d almost forgotten that there was a camera present, but by the sound of it, he hadn’t messed up too badly.

Sebastian hugged him and kissed his forehead. "Would you like a shower?"

“Sounds nice...” Jim tried to nuzzle Sebastian’s neck.

Sebastian bent a little lower to let him. "Will you let me carry you?"

Jim might have nodded. Sebastian definitely read some kind of consent from him because Jim found himself scooped up in strong familiar arms and let himself drift off for a moment.

He was standing up. Sort of. He could feel the smooth tiles under his feet, but Sebastian was still supporting most of Jim’s weight as he manoeuvred him under the gentle stream of warm water. Jim moaned with pleasure and clung to Sebastian, not wanting to come back to the real world yet.

After a soft, lingering kiss, Sebastian pumped some soap into his hand and started smoothing it over Jim's body, still steadying him with one hand.

Jim could not remember the last time he’d felt so good. The bonds had helped him relax and playing a part had let him hide. At least at first. Once Sebastian began handling him, Jim had no longer cared, which was an unusual sensation.

Was this how it was supposed to be? Feeling so safe and at ease that, for a while at least, nothing else mattered?

He thought back to when Sebastian had first gotten him to give in. Being his Kitten. Accepting and even inviting punishment. Had he been missing the point?

Sebastian’s lips on his own brought back another memory. Tony’s lean body grinding against him while he guided Jim’s hand down to loosen him up for...

Gasping, Jim pulled away from Sebastian, the water suddenly like fire on his skin. Why were they here? Did Sebastian know? Was he trying to get Jim to confess while he was still affected by the scene they’d done? He stared up at Sebastian, fearing to see the anger and disgust he knew he deserved.

But all he found was worry. "Kitten? What's wrong? Did I hurt you?"

Jim held his breath, waiting. Nothing. Sebastian really didn’t know.

He grinned and pulled Sebastian close again. “Not yet,” he purred. “But a guy can hope, can’t he?”

Sebastian chuckled. "Okay. Just ticklish, then? I'll apply a little more force." He turned Jim around and started massaging his back.

Jim moaned deeply and put his hands on the wall to support himself as he let his head hang down. “Maybe you need to go deeper?” he suggested.

Sebastian pressed his thumbs into his muscles. "Like this?"

“Fuck yes!” Jim arched his back. He lowered one hand to rub his growing erection lightly, almost laughing at himself. He should be worn out after shooting, but he was feeling as horny as if he hadn’t gotten laid in months. “Tiger...” he whined. “Can you go again or...?” Hell, if Sebastian asked him to top right now he might just go for it.

Sebastian laughed. "Really, Kitten? Will you never be sated?" But he stepped closer, pressing his groin against Jim.

“Maybe someday.” Jim pushed back against him, spreading his legs a little. “Maybe never.”

Sebastian moaned and rubbed himself against the crack of his arse. "I must admit I hope it doesn't happen."

“Me too...” Jim shivered with need and tightened his hand around his cock, stroking slowly. “Please... Tiger...”

"I'm here, Kitten." Sebastian kissed down his neck and pressed his fingers into him, testing if he was still ready to take him. Apparently pleased, he hummed and replaced them with his cock. Finally!

Whimpering with relief, Jim pushed back against Sebastian. His hand moved faster and faster. He was already so close.

"Go on," Sebastian whispered in his ear as he started thrusting slowly. "You've earned it. You've been so good."

As if he had been waiting for permission, Jim released and cried out as streak after streak hit the wall.

Regaining his senses, he realised that Sebastian was still moving in him. Of course he was. After coming twice during filming, he was going to last a lot longer than the few thrusts Jim had needed.

He was being very gentle and despite being slightly sore from earlier and so exhausted he could just curl up and sleep right there, Jim found himself very much enjoying being stretched around Sebastian’s girth again. Of course they’d fucked for the camera less than an hour ago, but Jim had been too focused on his bonds and his role to truly appreciate how good it felt. How much he’d missed this part.

He let himself be pressed up against the wall, doing very little to help support his own weight. If only it could always be like this...

Sebastian kept up his slow rhythm, stroking a hand over Jim's chest and playing with one of his nipples. "Tell me..." He moaned. "Tell me if it's too much..."

“It’s perfect.” Jim rested one cheek against the wall, the cold tile serving as the perfect counterpoint to the heat of Sebastian inside and behind him. “Don’t hold back. I can take it.”

"Oh yes." Sebastian sped up his rhythm. "You're so perfect. Perfect and mine." He groaned loudly and grabbed Jim's hips.

For now, Jim thought, but even that depressing thought couldn’t ruin this high. Right now he truly was Sebastian’s. And he was loving it.

…

The following days seemed almost unreal. Just hanging around Sebastian's flat, working on scripts, which Jim knew they wouldn't be doing with UMQRA, so there was really no rush. And having quite a lot of sex. But on Wednesday, Sebastian was booked to appear in one of Vincent's films and since they were shooting on location in Cornwall he wouldn't be back before Thursday evening.

It was kind of nice being on his own again. At least for the first couple of hours. He was getting really into writing a story about two strong guys having their way with a hot young man at a garage. He imagined himself in that part, of course, whining and squirming while they used him for their pleasure. Writing it got him so worked up that he had to take a break for a wank and a shower before he could finish it. The excuse for the sex was that the guy hadn't finished a job on time and now he was going to 'pay'. Something about that concept went straight to Jim's groin and as he let his mind wander, it brought him back to his brief panic in the shower when he thought that Sebastian knew about him and Tony. That he was going to punish him somehow.

It had been so different from the games they had played. Every time Sebastian had spanked him or even used the paddle, it hadn't been in anger or because he wanted to hurt Jim. It was just for fun and with his teasing and acting up, Jim was as much in control of the fun as Sebastian was.

No, the thing with Tony was the first time Jim had done something that he really truly dreaded Sebastian finding out. It had been terrifying. And incredibly hot.

His mind was still toying with the memory when he went to bed that night and it was really no surprise that he woke up achingly hard from a jumbled dream of sex and guilt. Of fear of being caught and orgasmic relief when he got away with it. That would make a great film!

As he washed off the night's sweat, he tried creating a storyline that could combine all those emotions while also including ridiculous amounts of sex, and his memory, quite out of his control these days, supplied him with a very vivid scene: Richard squeezing his arse and whispering in his ear. Yes, that could work.

He settled with his laptop, eager to get started, but then his brain stalled. He couldn't just start out with two men like that. It needed some background. Some story. He was playing with his phone while turning it over in his mind and suddenly he realised that he had dialled Richard's number. That was odd...

Well, maybe it could be useful, so he let the phone ring. Twenty minutes later, he was out the door, meeting Richard for breakfast. The guy had been glad to hear from him and readily agreed to brainstorm his new film.

The café was one of those big places with very little atmosphere and a lot of busy-looking people, eating their breakfast while reading a paper or working on their laptop. But the food was decent and the coffee good.

“I’m actually surprised you called,” Richard admitted. “Tony told me you and Sebastian are back together.”

Jim grinned happily. "Yeah, we are. But he's working out of town these days and I really needed somebody's opinion about this new idea of mine."

“Just an opinion?” Richard winked.

"For now!" Jim giggled. He could easily picture Richard playing the part of the other man. It was, after all, based partly on him. And it would give them a chance to work together without too many bodies in the bed. He took a sip of his coffee. "It's about cheating."

Richard raised an eyebrow. “Is it, now?”

"Yeah," Jim said eagerly. "It's about a guy who cheats on his boyfriend and then has all these mixed feelings about it. Of course he's sorry and he's afraid of being caught, but he also finds it kind of exciting. You know, being bad feels good and all that. And the fear itself gets him really worked up because they do have a kinky relationship and have played with punishment before, but that was never for real. And now he has all these fantasies about how terrible and how wonderful it would be to get caught." Jim paused for breath. He was feeling a bit flushed and pushed the coffee aside, reaching for his juice instead.

Richard leaned forward, into his space. “Sounds interesting. Tell me more.”

"There'll be a lot of good scenes," Jim continued. "Like the first one with the other guy, of course, which is all desperate rushed passion because they know they're being bad but they just can't help it. And then he practically jumps his boyfriend when he gets home because he's feeling guilty. And then later, when he's almost caught, he jumps him again but this time because of the whole rush of the thing. And then he keeps going back to the other guy… Or maybe more guys… Because he wants to feel like that again. I just…" He paused for a large gulp of juice. They really should open some windows in this place. "I'm not sure how to end it. If he comes clean and there's some awesome make-up sex or if he's caught and the boyfriend does punish him but in a non-cruel very hot way that ends with him being very very sorry and happy…"

“That sounds good,” Richard said, licking his lips. “But I think you should start at the beginning. One scene at a time.”

"Well... " Jim leaned forward a little, lowering his voice. "I do actually have a scene planned. Nothing big, just the first hint. The cheater and the other guy have been out for a pint. Nothing happened but, as they part, the guy pinches his bum and whispers something hot in his ear like 'You know where to find me' or 'You have my number' and afterwards, he keeps thinking about that and finally he gives in and calls him…"

Richard chuckled, his face so close to Jim’s that he could feel his breath on his cheek. “Wonder what inspired you.”

It was Jim's turn to lick his lips as he pulled back, just a bit. "Uhm, well, I… I think you know…" His whole body was on fire, except that gaping, terrifying hole inside him. The one that signalled danger. That begged him to stop. "So…" He cocked his head a little. "What would the other guy say?"

“I don’t know…” Richard looked amused. “Maybe he’d invite him to breakfast. And then, as they reach a subject that isn’t exactly suited to talk about in public, he could drop a hint that his flat isn’t far away…”

"Good point," Jim looked around, relieved to see that nobody was watching them. "This isn't really the right place to plan a film like that." He fumbled for his wallet. "Are you done?"

“Yeah,” Richard said. “And my place is pretty close.”

Jim rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I figured…"

Richard smirked. “Then what are we waiting for?”

…

Jim almost stumbled as Richard manhandled him through the door of his flat, bumping him up against the wall to kiss him greedily. Jim was already tugging at Richard's jeans with a desperate urgency. Part of his brain was still screaming for him to stop. That it was not too late. The only way to silence it, he knew, was to get Richard's cock inside him. As fast as possible.

He had just managed to get the zipper open when Richard bent down to suck on his neck.

"No!" Jim gasped and Richard jumped back, startled. With a breathless, sheepish grin, Jim shrugged. "Just… don't leave any marks…"

Chapter Text

As Jim lay soaking in Sebastian's tub, he replayed the day's events over and over in his mind. It would probably make a good film, but he couldn't risk actually making it. What if Sebastian saw through it?

But even though the idea was shelved, the day had not been wasted. Richard was not as skilled a lover as Sebastian, but he had more than made up for it with enthusiasm. When Jim reminded him that they were being naughty, Richard had practically jumped him, dragged him to the bedroom and ravished him so thoroughly that Jim had almost been afraid for his life at one point. At least they had both been professional enough to keep it all safe. He had lost count of the number of condoms that had been tossed as Richard moved from his arse to his mouth and back again, clearly intent on making the most of it, in case it was his only chance.

Even though Seb's flat wasn't far from Richard's, Jim had taken a cab home, not wanting to walk on unsteady legs. Sitting on his sore bum hadn't exactly been pleasant either, but at least it was a short trip.

As soon as he got in, he tossed all his clothes in the washer and started it up, then hurried to the bathroom where he showered before filling up the tub. His heart was still pounding in his chest, remembering the horribly dirty feeling of letting Richard have his way with him and the sharp thrill of fear that Sebastian might find out.

He massaged his soft cock and smiled at the thought, knowing he was a horrible person, but not really caring right now. He could worry later.

“Want a hand?”

Jim squeaked and jumped, then slipped and got his head under the water. As he came up, spluttering and coughing, he saw Sebastian smile a little.

“Careful, Kitten. I didn’t mean to startle you.” He reached out to brush the wet hair off Jim’s forehead.

"That's…" Jim coughed again. "That's okay. I must have... I must have drifted off." He sat up straight and looked around for his towel.

“You looked like you were having a nice dream…”

"Dreaming of you, Tiger," Jim purred, putting on his sweetest smile.

Sebastian chuckled and leaned over the side of the bath for a kiss. “Want me to make your dreams come true?”

Jim pulled away a little and then splashed Sebastian playfully. "How about you let me get out of the tub and then you can tell me how the shoot went?"

“If you insist.” Sebastian grinned, but then moved back and offered Jim his towel. “It was fun, actually.”

"Yeah?" Jim wrapped the towel around himself as he stood up. "Did you work with anyone I know?"

“Yeah, Tony was there,” Sebastian said, leaning against the wall.

"T… Tony?" Jim almost slipped as he stepped out of the tub. "Thats... That's nice."

“Yeah. He seemed a bit off, though.” Sebastian shrugged. “But I doubt anyone will notice in the film.”

So he hadn't told Sebastian anything. Jim breathed a sigh of relief. "I hope he wasn't coming down with something," he said as he hurried to the bedroom to get dressed. "I don't want you getting sick now. Don't you have another film on Tuesday?"

“Yeah,” Sebastian said. “But I don’t think he was sick. Don’t worry about it.”

"Okay." Jim tossed the towel and quickly pulled on clean pants and a shirt. "Are you hungry?"

Sebastian looked him up and down. “I guess, but didn’t you want to…?”

"What?" Jim frowned for a second, then smiled. "I figured you needed a break after doing… how many scenes did you have?"

Sebastian shrugged and winked. “Nothing I can’t handle.”

Not wanting to make Sebastian suspicious, Jim went over to give him a hug. "I know," he said, giggling. "But I am actually hungry, so…" It wasn't that he wouldn't like for Sebastian to fuck him, but he was still feeling the burn from the day’s activities and doubted he could handle even a gentle touch down there.

…

When they were done eating, Sebastian walked around the table and put his arms around Jim. “No longer hungry?” he purred in his ear.

Jim smiled up at him and stifled a yawn. “No, just sleepy. How about you?”

Sebastian kissed his temple. "Not sleepy. How about you let me spoil you before you go to bed?"

Jim considered for a moment. “You know, my shoulders are really tense from writing all day. They wouldn’t say no to some attention.”

Sebastian squeezed his shoulders gently. "Yeah... You're right. Let's get you nice and comfy in bed and I'll take care of that."

“I’ll go brush my teeth first.” He pulled away from Sebastian. “In case I drift off.” He hurried to the bathroom, picking up his pyjamas on the way. When he was changed, he jumped into bed, making sure to keep the covers up to his waist as he wiggled his shoulders in invitation. Sebastian settled next to him and began loosening his shoulders with strong but gentle hands. Jim purred into the pillow, determined not to let Sebastian get even the slightest hint of him enjoying this too much. He was clearly in the mood for some fun, but Jim just couldn't handle it. Not tonight. He'd make it up to him tomorrow.

Sebastian kept leaning down to kiss Jim's neck, but after the first few times, Jim didn't acknowledge him, figuring that his only way out of this without a confrontation or at least a very awkward talk was to do the cowardly thing. He slowed down his breathing, relaxing his body and then, after a plausible pause, let out a soft snore, hoping it sounded convincing.

Sebastian gave him a few more soft pets and then tucked him in before leaving the bedroom.

He lay still for a long time, expecting Sebastian to return, but eventually he must have drifted off for real.

When he woke up to the first grey light of morning, the other side of the bed was still empty and the sheets were cold to his touch. Sebastian had never come to bed!

Jim's insides were on fire and he curled up, fighting back tears of panic. He knew… Somehow Sebastian knew what he had done. Maybe he had talked to Richard… Or maybe he had just figured it out from the way Jim was behaving. It had been stupid to turn him down so completely. Jim could at least have given him a blowjob to show how happy he was to have him home again. But no, instead he had to go stick his head in the sand and screw everything up again.

But maybe Sebastian hadn't really left this time. It was, after all, his flat. So maybe it was not too late. If Jim begged forgiveness…

He stumbled out of bed and ran to the door, flinging it open. He had opened his mouth to cry out for Sebastian when he was startled by a loud grunt.

Sebastian’s head appeared above the back of the sofa. “Kitten?” he asked, his voice thick with sleep.

Jim gaped at him. "Why are you sleeping there?" he asked, dreading the answer. Sebastian must really hate him.

Sebastian scratched his head and then cracked his neck. “I was watching a film. Must have dozed off.” He gestured at the TV, which was still showing a DVD menu.

"Oh…" Jim could have fainted with relief, but managed to stay on his feet. "Your back must not be pleased with you." He walked over to the sofa and leaned down to give Sebastian a kiss. "Silly Tiger."

Sebastian hummed and pushed Jim back gently so he could get to his feet and stretch. “Definitely not pleased,” he agreed. “Let’s move to bed.”

Jim giggled and took Sebastian's hand, leading him to the bedroom.

Sebastian got out of his clothes quickly and then looked back at Jim. “Aren’t you going back to sleep?”

Jim realised that he had been staring and that Sebastian would soon start to wonder if he didn't pull himself together and act normal. What would he have done in this situation before the thing with Richard? He would have jumped that glorious hot body and begged to be shagged senseless.

Well, that was not happening yet, so… Grinning, Jim walked over and pushed Sebastian's chest to get him down on the bed. "Not to sleep," he purred.

“Oh.” Sebastian grinned. “Okay…” He leaned on his elbows and reached up for a kiss, but Jim ducked away and instead moved down to nuzzle his stomach. "I've missed you, Tiger," he muttered, licking his way down. "So much."

Sebastian moaned and spread his legs. “I missed you too, Kitten. I hope you’ve been good...”

The word 'always' got quite muffled as he had finally reached Sebastian's cock and eagerly swallowed it down. He should have just done this in the first place. How could he have been so stupid?

Well, he was going to make it up to Sebastian now.

It had been a while since he had taken him to the root, but, hoping he hadn't lost the skill completely, Jim took a couple of deep breaths through his nose and then moved down, almost choking as he felt the tip slide into his throat. But, perhaps by sheer force of will, he managed to keep going and was soon swallowing around the head.

“Fuck, you are good, Kitten,” Sebastian moaned, tangling a hand in Jim’s hair.

Bubbling with pride, Jim pulled back to catch his breath and then swallowed Sebastian's cock again.

…

Sebastian happily pulled Jim into his arms, nuzzling at his neck. “Thank you, Kitten,” he purred. “Don’t you want something in return?”

Jim closed his eyes and rested his chin on Sebastian's chest. "Not right now," he muttered, smiling. "This was all about you. About showing you how glad I am that you are home. And that they didn't eat you all up."

Sebastian chuckled. “You know they should have had quite an appetite for that.”

"Silly…" Jim slapped his arm lightly. "You know what I mean. I'm glad they didn't wear you out."

“I’m glad you did,” Sebastian replied smugly.

"Me too." Jim pressed a soft kiss to the warm smooth skin. "Now get some proper sleep, Tiger. You need it."

Sebastian hummed and pulled the blanket over them both.

…

Waking up in Sebastian's arms turned out to be more terrifying than thinking he was gone. How could Jim have done this to him? The thing with Tony had been sort of excusable because they might not technically have been together at the time, but this? Sebastian had barely been away 36 hours but Jim had still dropped his pants quite willingly for Richard. Worse than that… It hadn't just happened. He had called Richard and arranged to meet and then propositioned him with all that talk about a movie that really was just Jim's own sick fantasy about being a cheating, dirty slut.

The sex hadn't even been that great. A casual quickie with Sebastian usually brought him more pleasure than he had gotten from 2 hours in Richard's bed. And caused him a lot less trouble.

Sebastian was bound to find out. Richard would tell him. Or someone had seen them. One way or another, it would be out in the open and everything would be lost. Jim would never get his own company and would be reduced to making second-rate porn for any hack who'd hire him. Or maybe doing live shows at Sebastian's stupid club. If anyone there would even work with him once it came out how disgusting he was.

If only he had been strong enough to be honest with Sebastian when there was still time. To break it off gently in a way where they could still work together and even be friends. But Jim was too much of a coward for that and now he was thoroughly screwed.

He turned his head enough to glance at Sebastian, who was still fast asleep. It was a miracle, really, that he hadn't gotten suspicious yet, with Jim avoiding him like that. He should know him well enough to know when his 'Kitten' was feeling sore or indeed guilty. Maybe he had been too tired from filming? And sleeping on the sofa probably hadn't left him well-rested either.

But now, after a good blowjob and some proper sleep, he'd be back in form and Jim doubted it would take him long to figure out what was wrong.

As he closed his eyes, Jim had a very vivid picture of a furious Sebastian grabbing hold of him and bending him over before pulling down his pants so he could see the reddened skin around his abused hole. His cheeks burning, Jim tried to guess what Sebastian would do then. The position itself seemed perfect for a spanking, but this was not a film. Sebastian would never hit him in actual anger, especially since they both knew that Jim enjoyed it far too much to see it as any kind of punishment. Would he yell at him? Call him names? Or maybe just kick him out?

Suddenly Jim realised that his cock was so hard it was practically throbbing. It wasn't often he woke up with an erection, and when it happened, he usually noticed right away. He must be really  distraught not to have noticed what state he was in.

He shifted a little, hoping to slip out of Sebastian's embrace so that he could get to the bathroom and deal with this. Then he might be able to think more clearly and actually come up with a solution that wouldn't end in total disaster.

Sebastian grunted and tightened his grip. “Stay,” he mumbled sleepily.

Jim bit his lip, holding back a groan. Then he had an idea. He twisted around to face Sebastian. “On your back, Tiger,” he purred. “I want to use you.”

Sebastian blinked. "Oh, wow. Good morning to you too." He did as Jim asked, rubbing his eyes.

Wriggling out of his pants, Jim moved to straddle Sebastian’s thighs. He palmed Sebastian’s soft cock with one hand while stroking himself with the other.

“Aren’t you happy to see me?” he teased.

Sebastian chuckled. "I'm still not quite sure I'm awake... But I sure am happy."

“Good.” As soon as he felt Sebastian growing harder, he aligned their cocks and wrapped his hand around them. As he began rolling his hips, he thought back to that terrifying image of Sebastian forcibly revealing the proof of Jim’s betrayal, but this time let himself imagine that it did lead to a spanking. This was really really bad. But it felt so very very good.

He moaned loudly, already close to orgasm.

Sebastian moaned too, putting a hand on Jim’s neck to draw him in for a kiss.

Jim broke the kiss quickly and straightened up so he could thrust faster. He was so close.

But... if he came before Sebastian, he might want to finish another way. So he forced the sound of Sebastian’s hand on his arse out of his mind and focused on holding back. If he could do it for a film, surely he could do it to preserve this wreck of a relationship.

“Why are you slowing down?” Sebastian asked. “Weren’t you going to ‘use’ me? I’m all yours…”

“I am using you,” Jim groaned. “And that includes setting my own pace so I can enjoy it for as long as I like.” This wasn’t going to be easy. Sebastian had the advantage of having come right before they fell asleep so he would be able to last a lot longer than Jim. Unless he could get him more worked up. “I... I had this dream...” he began. “About you...”

Sebastian licked his lips. "You did?"

Jim’s mind flailed around for a scenario. “We were...” he gasped. “Soldiers. You were my officer and you were...” He tightened his grip. “You were disciplining me.”

Sebastian smirked. “I never made it to officer… But if I’d known disciplining you was on the cards, I’d have tried harder.” He hummed and thrust his hips a little.

“When I had done everything you ordered,” Jim whined, trying desperately not to picture it, “you rewarded me. By fucking me. In the barracks. While everyone was watching.”

"Hmmm..." Sebastian put his hands lightly on Jim's lower back. "And you want to re-enact that?"

“Not right now,” Jim huffed, pushing one of Sebastian’s hands away so that he could move better. “You couldn’t make up for the ten soldiers waiting their turn anyway.” He laughed breathlessly.

Sebastian grinned. “Is that a challenge?”

“No!” Jim snorted. “But maybe it could make a good movie?” He sped up again, not wanting Sebastian to get too many ideas.

“Yeah,” Sebastian moaned. “So you like that idea, huh? Ten guys looking on and drooling because they want their way with you?”

“I like the idea of you letting them have me,” Jim purred. “Of you passing me around.”

“As long as I can have you back,” Sebastian said, gasping as Jim squeezed around them just right. “As long as I can make sure they… treated you right…” He was cut off by a loud moan and his hand joined Jim’s.

"Always..." Jim cried. "I'll always come back to you." It was too much. He couldn't hold back anymore.

“Jim!” Sebastian groaned, pulling him in for another kiss as he stroked them fast. Then he stilled with a loud grunt and came.

Sobbing with relief, Jim came barely a second after. When they were both spent, he let himself slump down on Sebastian's chest, ignoring the sticky mess between them.

Sebastian moaned again. "Fuck... I know you love morning sex, but you still manage to surprise me."

"Always." Jim gave him a lazy kiss and then pulled away slowly. "I'll go clean up and then I'll make us breakfast, okay?"

Sebastian blinked. “Are you sure?”

Jim nodded. "Yeah. But don't expect much."

Before Sebastian could object, he jumped off the bed and ran to the bathroom.

While Sebastian showered, Jim got dressed and then prepared a breakfast of tea and toast with jam. It really wasn't up to standard, but he had the very convenient excuse that he had forgotten to do the shopping yesterday, being too caught up in his 'writing'. When Sebastian kept asking, he told him in detail about the garage-idea.

Sebastian chuckled. "No wonder you were dreaming about getting punished..."

“Yeah.” Jim blushed. “I guess there’s a common theme. But there’s a big market for that kind of film, right?”

"Yeah." Sebastian smiled. "I think Angelo will be cursing the day he quit when he sees how well we're going to do."

Jim beamed at him. “I’ve been thinking about a lot of themes we could work with. Like rivalry. Blackmail...”

"Oh yeah. I'd love some criminal theme," Sebastian said. "Maybe a fight getting out of hand... And maybe something about infidelity?"

Jim tensed for a second and his heart began racing. But he saw nothing in Sebastian’s eyes but eagerness, so he nodded. “We could definitely work with that,” he agreed.

After they had cleared the table, Sebastian left for the shops, promising that he would cook them a proper dinner tonight.

While Jim did the dishes, he hummed happily, finally letting himself believe that he might have gotten away with his stupid mistake. But never again!

When everything was put away, he went into the bedroom, where he stripped down. It took a lot of twisting and stretching in front of the large mirror, looking anything but dignified, but finally he felt he had examined his arse enough to be confident that there were no obvious signs of the harsh usage it had been put through. The skin around his hole was still a little tender when he poked it, but it was nothing he couldn't deal with.

He picked a medium plug from Sebastian's collection, coated it with plenty of lube and settled on hand and knees on the bed, reaching behind himself to slowly work the plug in. The first couple of minutes were rather unpleasant but then, as the muscles began relaxing, it became bearable and by the time he heard Sebastian's key in the lock, he was confident he could take him. Quickly he removed the plug and put it out of sight on the floor before laying down on his stomach, arranging the duvet so it only covered his bum partially, and pretended to be asleep.

He heard Sebastian put away the groceries before finally walking over to the bedroom door and opening it. However, after just a few seconds, he closed it again and walked back into the living room.

Jim sat up in bed, staring at the door. Seriously? What the hell was wrong with Sebastian? When had he ever been able to resist the sight of Jim naked?

He waited a while, figuring Sebastian would return. Eventually he got bored and after cleaning and putting away the plug, he pulled on pants and one of Sebastian’s shirts and walked into the living room, yawning and stretching.

"Hey." Sebastian smiled at him as he turned away from his cutting board, wearing a black apron. "Had a good nap?"

Jim nodded as he went over to hug Sebastian. “Can I help with anything?”

"Nah." Sebastian nuzzled the side of his neck and hummed. "I've almost finished chopping everything and then it just has to stew for a while."

“I’m sorry I fell asleep again,” Jim said. “I’m not much help around here.”

"That's okay." Sebastian kissed his cheek. "You did all the work this morning. I thought you could use some rest after being so active so early."

Jim giggled. “You helped too.”

"Well, I just can't resist. I'm such a helpful guy." Sebastian smirked and turned back to his cutting board.

Jim leaned on the counter and watched him work. “We need to talk to Angelo.”

"Today?" Sebastian asked, looking a little worried as he threw the last of the vegetables into the pot.

Jim shrugged. “Soon. Before he finds another buyer for all the gear. The cameras and lights and stuff.”

"Right..." Sebastian hesitated as he stirred the pot. "Do you think we'll be able to afford all that?"

“Probably not,” Jim said, trying not to sound too defeated. “But maybe we can get a loan or something. I just know that if we can’t make a deal with him it’s going to be hell finding all the stuff we’ll need.”

"True." Sebastian grimaced as he lifted the spoon to his lips. "And this needs more pepper."

“I’m gonna call him.” Jim pushed off the counter and went in search of his phone.

…

“Do you really think that will work?”

Jim somehow resisted rolling his eyes at Angelo. "I don't think we have a choice, really. What other studio would let Sebastian and me do the films we want to do? With that much creative control?"

“Maybe I could talk to some people for you. It’s just… This is a lot to handle on your own, Jimmy.”

Only Sebastian's arm around his shoulders prevented Jim from jumping to his feet. "No, thank you," he said, his voice only trembling a little. "That won't be necessary. Once you're out of the business, I'll be working for myself or not at all." He took a few deep breaths, determined to keep calm. "I have learned a lot from you. And from… others… What I don't know yet, I will find out along the way." He gave Sebastian's knee a soft squeeze. "We'll start out small anyways. Just some simple productions to get our name out there. But we need the equipment. And you have no use for it anymore."

Angelo sighed. “I suppose I can lower the price a little. But I do need to fund my restaurant. And I can’t be seen making grand gestures, or every other actor will be wanting their own studio next.”

Jim let himself relax a little. “I understand that,” he said. “But we need some kind of figure. So we’ll know how much money we need to raise.”

Angelo nodded. "And what about a location? A studio? Have you hired a lawyer yet?"

“I... We... What?” Jim suddenly felt faint.

"Jimmy," Angelo tutted. "You only know the easy part. The filming, the acting. But there's marketing and legal contracts and insurances to take care of. You need to keep track of who you need to pay and how much. You can't manage this with just the two of you."

“We’ll hire someone to do all that,” Jim said, raising his chin defiantly. “I’m not stupid.”

"I don't think Angelo thinks you're stupid," Sebastian said, squeezing his shoulder gently. "He's got experience with these things, so he can teach us a lot, right?"

Jim gritted his teeth but shrugged. "Then teach us instead of just lecturing us. Or better yet, make us an offer."

…

"Kitten! Come on. Calm down. Deep breaths." Sebastian wouldn't move his arms from around Jim's. He'd practically had to carry him to their dressing room and had only just managed to get the door closed when Jim exploded.

Thrashing and squirming to get loose, Jim stamped his feet and roared. “Let me go!” he cried, tears of rage streaming down his cheeks. Not only had Angelo treated him like a fucking child, but the ridiculously high price he demanded could only mean one thing: “It’s because of him. He only wants to sell to him. I know it!!!”

Sebastian's grip tightened. "Jim. Please. It will be fine. We'll find a way."

“It won’t be fine!” Jim tried to kick him. “It’s never fine! I can never... catch... a break.” Much to his own horror, Jim began sobbing.

"Hey. I've got you." Sebastian rocked him gently and kissed his hair. "We can do this. I know we'll come up with something. It's good that we at least know how much we’ll need, right?"

“It’s not good...” Jim thumped Sebastian’s chest feebly. “Nothing is ever good for me. Everything is always wrong...”

"So we'll make it right," Sebastian insisted. "You'll see. A couple of hours from now, we'll be working on some clever idea of yours that'll solve it all."

“We need to talk to the bank.” Sniffing, Jim pulled away from Sebastian. “And maybe find some investors.”

"Yeah. That sounds like a good start." Sebastian smiled and wiped away Jim's tears with his thumbs. "You see? We'll get there."

Chapter Text

“It was a fucking nightmare,” Jim groaned. “I swear they were laughing at me.”

Sebastian's sigh was audible over the phone. "I'm sorry. So... They said no?"

"Of course they said no," Jim huffed. "Why would they want to help someone like us? They think what we do is trash! They don't see it as an actual business. And you and I are just whores to them. One of them actually rolled his eyes when I talked about acting and writing..."  Jim took a deep breath. It wouldn't do to lose control right now. He was still in the lobby of the bank and people around him were starting to stare.

"Ugh," Sebastian said. "You bet those fucking pricks will be wanking to some bland porn tonight without ever thinking about the fact someone had to make it first."

“Yeah.” Jim scowled at the world in general as he walked out through the large double doors. “If they even remember how to.” He gasped and almost dropped his phone as someone tapped his shoulder lightly.

As he turned around, he found one of the bankers smiling shyly. Jim hadn’t paid him much attention before, since he hadn’t said much during the meeting. He was a bit younger than the others, mid-fifties probably, and his salt-and-pepper hair was cut very short.

“Yes?” Jim prompted as the man still seemed reluctant to speak. Was he actually blushing?

Then it dawned on him and Jim couldn’t help but grin. “You’ve seen my films?”

The man laughed nervously. “A few,” he said. “You’re very good.” He cleared his throat and offered his hand. “I’m Patrick Bryce. I just wanted to apologise for those stiffs in there. They don’t know anything that goes on outside in the real world. I... I think your idea is great. I believe you could really pull it off...” Blushing again, he stopped and looked down.

Jim pocketed his phone and got a notebook out of his bag. “I guess you have to get back to work,” he said, scribbling down his number. “But perhaps you’d like to meet for coffee sometime? Maybe you can give me some advice?”

As Patrick accepted the slip of paper, he grasped Jim’s hand for a second and looked him straight in the eyes. “It’s a date,” he said, winked and then hurried back inside.

Jim had to fight hard to wipe the foolish grin off his face as he got on the bus.

…

"Hey," Sebastian said when Jim finally entered the flat. "Everything okay? I suddenly couldn't hear more than distant noises, so I hung up..."

“Fuck, I’m sorry.” Jim cringed. “I had to run to catch the bus and forgot you were still on the line.”

"That's okay. I thought someone started talking to you." Sebastian came over to kiss him.

"Nah," Jim said, shrugging and putting his arms around Sebastian. "Just people on the street, I guess. I may have bumped someone. I was a bit... upset..."

Sebastian smiled. "A bit."

Jim glared up at him, but not very effectively. He was still thinking back on that unexpected encounter, recalling the details of Patrick’s polished look, his fancy shoes, the way his suit fit so effortlessly.

"Want to do anything special tonight?" Sebastian asked. "To cheer you up?"

“We need to plan a movie,” Jim said, nodding. “Something we can do on our own. Without the fancy studio and equipment. To prove we can. To show them all.”

"Are you sure that's the first thing we should do?" Sebastian frowned. "I mean, before all the legal stuff? And the finances?"

“We’re never going to get any money if we don’t prove we have what it takes. That we can plan, produce and sell a movie on our own. That we have the skills.” Jim pushed past Sebastian to go get his laptop. “It doesn’t have to be fancy sets or anything. Just really hot sex. And kink. Lots of it.”

"Okay." Sebastian sat down next to him. "So... What setting did you have in mind?"

“Dungeon!” Jim began typing. “Or something dark, at least. Dark and harsh. Chains and cuffs and... whips!” He grinned at Sebastian. “You get to break out all your toys. Even the nasty ones.”

"Right..." Sebastian didn't look quite as eager as Jim had hoped. "So... You're thinking about hiring another actor for that first one? I mean, I guess it makes sense if you're busy with everything else, but it will make the project a lot more expensive..."

“Of course not,” Jim said, shaking his head. “Just you and me and someone to hold the camera.”

"But I thought you weren't comfortable with whips. Or do you mean a soft flogger?"

“I can do it for a film.” Jim looked up from the screen. “I’ve done tons of stuff for your films that weren’t really my thing. We always made it look believable.”

"I guess..." Sebastian frowned. "So... Do you want me to write it?"

“Not sure it needs much writing.” Jim chuckled. “Just line up the toys and do your worst.”

"Okay. So chains, cuffs and whips. And fucking, probably."

“Of course,” Jim said. “And that gag we used once. A collar and... What do you think? You’re the expert?”

"Maybe I could cut your clothes off you. Like you did with me once," Sebastian suggested, his expression turning a little dreamy. "I know you're not into knives, but since it wouldn't touch you... It would sure look hot."

Jim grinned at the memory. “Oh yes. We’re definitely doing that.”

"Good." Sebastian chuckled. "Oh, and what about the wax play we did in Sensation? I think that could follow up on the cutting beautifully..."

Jim frowned, remembering the red letter on his chest. “As long as it doesn’t slow things down. Isn’t it a bit... tame?”

"I guess that depends on what exactly we do. And maybe the viewers would like a minute to catch their breath by then..."

“I suppose.” Jim shrugged. “How about those bars they have at the club? For keeping arms or legs spread out?”

"Well, we can't do that at the same time as tying you up like a sausage," Sebastian said, chuckling a little.

“A sausage?” Jim snorted. “Doesn’t sound very sexy. And kinda hard to get at with all the... stuff...”

"Depends on what kind of sausage." Sebastian winked.

“We shouldn’t focus too much on the ropes though.” Jim began typing a list. “That’s too narrow an audience. Sex and pain. That’s what sells.”

They spent most of the evening planning the movie, discussing toys and techniques. Jim tried not to get too annoyed with Sebastian, but he kept interjecting his own kinks rather than focusing on what would look good and what would sell. In the end Jim got sick of trying to explain that they weren't doing this for pleasure, especially considering that Jim himself would not be enjoying it one bit, but to save their careers. So he just put in Sebastian's ideas as suggestions, marking them so they would be easy to find and delete later.

It was not going to be a pleasant movie, but if they pulled it off, people would be talking about it for years to come. It was going to define the genre. To hell with Sherlock and all his touchy-feely storylines. This was what people wanted. A fantasy so extreme that they could never live it out in real life, yet so hot that they would forever desire it and thus be drawn back to watching it over and over again. Jim's face would be etched into their minds, his name forever on their lips.

It would be the ultimate triumph. If they could only find the right place to shoot. Somewhere they could have for free.

…

"I'm so glad you called me," Jim said, smiling over the rim of his teacup at Patrick, who still looked a bit starstruck. How many of Jim's films had he seen? He wouldn't ask. Not yet, anyway. No need to make the poor guy more uncomfortable than he already was.

"Of course," Patrick said. "How could I resist? It's not everyday I get to meet someone so… interesting."

Jim giggled and shook his head. "I'm not that interesting. Really. Sure, I may have an unusual job and be… pretty good at it, but at the end of the day, I'm just a regular bloke."

"A very attractive regular bloke." Patrick tried hiding his grin by taking a sip of his coffee.

"So," Jim said after a comfortable but rather blushy silence. "Do you really think you can help me? With financing my studio, I mean?"

Patrick cleared his throat and turned serious. "I think so," he said. "It's really not a bad idea you have. There's definitely a niche for your… your product. But the way you were presenting it... It's only too obvious that you don't have the knowledge and skills to start a business."

Jim bit his lip and looked down. It sounded a lot like what Angelo had been telling him. Was he really such a fool?

"But that can be easily remedied," Patrick said quickly, as if sensing Jim's dejection. "You just need a partner. Or someone to help you, at least. To draw up all the plans and projections that those old farts want to see. They want to hear about numbers, not dreams."

Jim sighed as he looked up again, going for a sad smile. "I guess I am just a dreamer. And I don't really know anyone who can do all that stuff. All my friends are actors and crew."

Patrick reached across the table and took Jim's hand in his. "Oh James, you silly boy. You do have someone to help you now. That's why I'm here."

Several emotions waged a vicious battle in Jim, but gratitude prevailed and he put his own hand over Patrick's. "Really?" he asked. "You’ll help me?"

…

“You look like you’re in a good mood.” Sebastian smiled and pulled Jim into a hug as soon as he walked into his flat.

Jim rested his cheek against Sebastian's shoulder. "Yeah," he said. "I've had some ideas for how we might get some financing after all. Nothing definite yet, but there's hope."

“That’s great!” Sebastian squeezed him. “We should celebrate. I can open a bottle of wine to go with dinner.”

"Sounds lovely," Jim said, pulling away so he could get his jacket off. "What are we having?"

“I put together a pasta with some leftovers. Mushrooms, sausages and bacon. Just as meaty as you like it.”

"You're the one who likes it meaty," Jim teased, poking Sebastian's side before walking over to flop down in the sofa. "I have to stay lean and cute, right?"

“Oh, I don’t think any amount of meat could make you less cute.” Sebastian chuckled and returned to the kitchen to fill their plates.

"Are you saying you'd like me chubby?" Jim called after him, turning on the telly and putting his feet up. "I'm not sure that would look good on camera."

“It would definitely be different from other companies,” Sebastian pointed out as he put two glasses of wine on the coffee table. “But I’m saying I can’t imagine you not looking good.”

"Forgive me if I don't consider you completely unbiased when it comes to that." Jim chuckled as he checked his phone. Patrick had already sent him three texts thanking him for a lovely time and hinting that he would get started on the plan soon.

“Fine, I’ll forgive you.” Sebastian handed him a plate and spoon and sat down next to him.

"You better." Jim pocketed his phone and reached for his wine.

“You know, I’ve had an idea too,” Sebastian said after a few bites.

"Oh?" Jim glanced over at him, biting back a teasing remark.

“Yeah. But I’m not 100% sure yet that I can pull it off, so I’m going to keep it a surprise for now.” Sebastian grinned.

"Oh, Tiger." Jim pouted. "You know I don't like surprises."

“You will like this one!” Sebastian squeezed his shoulder. “I just don’t want to disappoint you if I can’t make it happen.”

"When have you ever disappointed me?" Jim tried not to jump as his phone buzzed against his hip.

Sebastian frowned. “I guess I can think of a few times…”

"Never with anything serious," Jim pointed out and leaned over to kiss Sebastian's cheek. "Tell me your idea. Please."

Sebastian smiled. “Later! Your phone buzzed. You should check that!”

Tensing a little, Jim shook his head. "Not while we're eating," he said. "It's not important."

“Okay.” Sebastian chewed thoughtfully for a moment, then said: “Would you mind going home tonight?”

Jim almost spit out his pasta. "What!?"

“Wow, sorry! I’m not… I don’t mean anything by it.” Sebastian looked awkward. “I just thought… I mean, you’ve told me you sometimes need space. And we’ve been together all the time since I got back from that thing on location. So…”

"And now you need some space too?" Jim asked. Something was going on. Sebastian had been nothing but clingy since they got back together.

Sebastian shrugged with one shoulder. “I guess…”

"Fine!" Jim put his plate and glass on the table and stood up. "I'll just go gather my things then, shall I?"

Sebastian looked startled. “You don’t have to go right away! At least finish your food. And we can watch something before you go…”

"No, it's fine," Jim said, heading for the bedroom. "I don't want to be in your way. Unless you want me to do the dishes before I go."

“No…” Sebastian followed him. “I guess I was right then. That you need space too. If you’re in such a hurry.”

Jim stopped and stared Sebastian. Seriously? Was he trying to blame it on him now? But he couldn't even be bothered to get into that, so he just rolled his eyes. "Whatever!" he huffed as he put his bag on the bed and began flinging his clothes into it.

Chapter Text

His flat seemed so small and cold after practically living at Sebastian's place for the past month. There was dust on most surfaces and the fridge was empty except for a lonely-looking bottle of ketchup. Everything smelled strange. Jim supposed it smelled like him. Him without Sebastian. Which was supposed to be a good thing, but being tossed out like that just felt wrong. He had been waiting for Sebastian to wisen up. To end things. But he'd expected it to be a bit more dramatic. Emotional even.

Technically, Sebastian hadn't really broken up with him. Yet. But what else could it mean? Either Sebastian wanted some time away from Jim because he was starting to get sick of him or he wanted him gone so he could see somebody else.

Did he already have them there with him? Was he getting his brains fucked out right now? While Jim was sitting on his sofa staring blankly at his dark telly?

Probably.

And Jim could, honestly, not have cared less.

...

After a quick trip down to the shop for milk, toast and some other necessities, Jim took a long shower and then settled down to watch telly with a large pot of tea and a couple of sandwiches. He had just finished them off when he remembered Patrick's text. He got out his phone and smiled as he read the short message asking if they could meet tomorrow.

'Of course', he wrote back, adding a couple of x’s just for the hell of it. Why shouldn't he be nice to Patrick, who was doing him such a big favour? And who kept paying him all those sweet compliments?

…

As Jim was getting out his key, Patrick put a hand on his arm, stopping him.

"James," he said, his voice unusually serious. "I just want to make sure that you understand. I'm helping you because I want to. I don't expect anything in return. Except perhaps your delightful company."

Jim nodded, hoping the light from the narrow window was dim enough to hide the colour he felt rising in his cheeks. Somehow, Patrick's hesitancy to take things further was proving to be a bigger turn-on than the desperate groping and snogging Jim had gotten used to. There had only been a single kiss in the back of the cab, lingering and almost chaste while their fingers had tangled on the seat between them.

He'd invited Patrick home for a cuppa after their lunch-date had lasted through the entire afternoon, culminating in a leisurely stroll through St. James' Park while the sun set somewhere behind the clouds. Patrick had been reluctant to accept, but Jim had pouted a little and the man had given in.

He might say that he did not expect anything in return for his help, but Jim was damn well going to repay him for all the work he had already done for him. And what better way than to let him live out a few of his fantasies with his favourite porn star?

And Jim really wanted it too. Though he and Sebastian hadn't exactly been celibate, things had slowed down a bit lately and even when they did make it to bed, Jim just didn't get the rush out of it that he used to. Sebastian was clearly no longer as focused on Jim's pleasure as he had been at first and Jim didn't blame him. Things like that were bound to cool over time.

The only really good sex he'd had lately had been with Tony and Richard and then those times he'd been so worked up by the fear of getting caught that he'd taken it out on Sebastian. That had been pretty hot.

But that had been weeks ago and Jim was horny.

The lack of shoving and tearing off clothes was a bit confusing, but Patrick's hand low on Jim's back as he followed him into the flat left little doubt in Jim's mind that he was getting laid tonight.

After almost an hour on the sofa, with a lot of kissing and gentle touches, Patrick finally slipped his hand up under Jim's shirt, making him tremble and let out a whine that hopefully didn't sound as needy as he was feeling. Patrick stroked Jim's side and laughed, apparently finding his effect on Jim amusing. At the back of Jim's mind, a tiny part of him felt offended, but it was completely drowned out by all the other parts of him eagerly insisting that Patrick could laugh at him all he wanted as long as he kept kissing him so deeply, stroking his hair so softly and talking to him in that tone of voice that just did something to Jim. That made him feel like he might turn to jelly any second.

"You are so perfect," Patrick whispered against Jim's neck. There was no biting or sucking, just the gentle slide of lips and a hint of tongue.

"I... I'm not..." Jim gasped breathlessly, barely resisting the urge to palm himself through his all-too-tight jeans. Instead he clung to Patrick's arm, feeling the lean muscles move under the dark, soft fabric.

"Shush, you silly boy." Patrick straightened up so that he could look Jim straight in the eyes as he put a finger on his lips. "If I tell you that you are perfect, all I want to hear from you is 'thank you'."

Jim could no longer restrain himself and caught the tip of Patrick's finger between his lips, giving it a light suck before letting go and whispering a very cheeky: "Thank you."

Patrick laughed again, rolling his eyes. "Oh James. You're killing me here. How am I supposed to resist you?"

You're not supposed to resist me, Jim thought, but he just kept smiling, blinking a little more than strictly necessary.

To his surprise, Patrick stood up. Jim opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, but Patrick held out his hand to him, smiling.

"Fine," he said. "You'll get it your way tonight. Show me where the bedroom is."

Jim was almost sobbing with relief when Patrick finally knelt between his legs and let a well-lubed finger slide down to circle his hole. This man really took the concept of foreplay to a whole new level. And Jim was loving it. He'd gotten familiar with Patrick's cock as soon as he'd been allowed to touch it and knew that he could easily handle the size without preparation. But he was not going to point that out. If Patrick wanted to treat him like a precious, fragile thing, Jim had zero objections.

As the skilled, gentle fingers slowly opened him up, Jim clenched his hands in the sheets and moaned, earning himself a lot of kisses and whispered praise. Being adored so completely felt really really good.

So did Patrick's mouth on his cock. He was not as skilled as any of the actors Jim had received blowjobs from, but it hardly mattered since he definitely knew how to find Jim's prostate. It wasn't long before Jim came with a drawn-out keening that, to himself, sounded more like a wounded animal than a man in the grips of pleasure. But Patrick obviously liked it and looked almost unbearably smug as he disposed of Jim's condom and got one for himself.

"So beautiful," he said, positioning himself. Jim could do nothing but grin lazily up at him and pull his legs up to get the perfect angle as Patrick sank in slowly.

After another passionate kiss, they began moving together and soon found the perfect rhythm. It was total bliss and Jim was just starting to think that he might come a second time when they were both startled by a loud knock on the front door.

"Kitten! It's me!"

“Fuck!” Jim stared up at Patrick, who was gaping down at him.

“Kitten?” Patrick pulled out and ducked from under Jim’s leg that had been resting on his shoulder. “Is that... You have a boyfriend?” His usual soft deep voice faded into an incredulous hiss.

“No!” Jim whispered, sitting up too, pulling the sheet up to cover him. “It’s my ex. Sort of...”

“James!” Patrick’s brow furrowed. “Don’t lie to me.”

Jim shivered and looked away. “We’re kind of breaking up,” he muttered. “It’s just... not easy. Things are complicated.”

There was a moment of silence, broken by Sebastian rapping on the door again. Jim flinched.

With a sigh, Patrick got off the bed and retrieved his clothes from the chair where he had arranged them neatly. “You should have told me. But I won’t complicate matters more for you. Is there a way I can get out without him seeing me?”

Jim nodded and pointed to the door. “Backstairs,” he said. “The door next to the loo.”

Patrick stepped into his trousers and as he pulled them up, he leaned in to kiss Jim. “Do what you have to do,” he said. “And then call me when you can.”

When he was gone, Jim quickly checked the room for incriminating evidence, then pulled on pants and a t-shirt before hurrying out to unlock the door.

"Hey!" Sebastian beamed at him, lifting a large cardboard box. "Surprise!"

“Sebastian?” Jim frowned. “I... What?”

Sebastian blinked and put down the box. "Are you okay? You look a little... uh."

Jim almost staggered as it hit him. Stronger than ever. This time it had been too close. Sebastian had been right there while Patrick had been fucking him. If he’d still had his keys, he’d have walked in on them.

Reeling from the clash of icy terror and scorching lust, Jim did the only thing he could and launched himself at Sebastian, wrapping arms and legs around him, lifting himself up for a ferocious kiss.

"Hm-mmm-m-m!" Sebastian said, in something that might have been a protest but quickly turned into passionately answering the kiss while groping Jim's arse.

Jim gasped as he realised that he was not safe yet. If Sebastian got his hand down Jim’s pants, he’d find him slick and open from Patrick’s thorough attentions. Jim desperately wanted to be fucked, he was aching for it, but he couldn’t risk it. Sebastian wasn’t that stupid.

As he grabbed Sebastian’s wrist to pull his hand away, he got an idea. “Not today, Tiger,” he purred. “We’re gonna switch things up a bit.”

"Huh?" Sebastian was still looking dazed from the kiss.

Jim untangled himself and took a step back. “Go strip and get in my bed,” he ordered. “Hands and knees. And have the lube ready.” He gave Sebastian a quick kiss and then stepped aside to let him pass.

Sebastian stared at him for one more moment and then went, almost at a run.

Jim took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself, pushed Sebastian's box to the wall with his foot so he could close the door and then followed, pulling off his shirt.

By the time he got to the bedroom, Sebastian was naked on the bed, just like he’d asked. He looked over his shoulder at Jim and winked, but didn’t speak.

Jim couldn’t help but laugh at the sight. “I hope you won’t need too much preparation,” he said, kneeling behind Seb and reaching for the lube. “Because I’m dying to fuck you.”

Sebastian moaned and leaned back a little, getting his arse closer to Jim. "Did something happen? To change your mind?"

Groaning from the delicious pang of guilt, Jim slickened two fingers and began teasing Sebastian's hole. "I guess I just missed you," he hummed, pushing a tip inside and pulling it out again. "Missed you a lot." He pushed his finger in as deep as it could go. Now that he had him here, at his mercy, he really did want to fuck Sebastian. He could still feel the lube Patrick had used on him, his sheets were deliciously rumpled from their bodies and Sebastian didn't have a clue. Jim had literally been caught with his pants down and he'd still gotten away with it. He'd never felt so in control before. So powerful.

He twisted his finger around inside Sebastian. "Ready for more?

"Yes," Sebastian panted. "Please, yes."

Jim added a second finger and began thrusting fast. "You're so needy," he teased, giving Sebastian's arse a soft slap with his free hand before pushing his own pants down past his hips. He somehow managed to squeeze some lube into his hand and gave his cock a few strokes. It was good that Sebastian hadn't interrupted them sooner. Having come once already, he was going to be able to last longer. A lot longer. He was going to give Sebastian the fuck of his life.

"You're just so good," Sebastian replied with something close to a whimper.

Right, Jim thought, just a little bitterly. As good as that guy from the club? Well, he was going to give it his best go.

He pulled his fingers out and moved closer, then huffed. Sebastian was much too tall for this. Jim would have to balance on several pillows to get a decent angle. He almost asked Sebastian to turn around when he got his second idea of the evening.

He put his hand on Sebastian's back and pushed down, making him lower his bum to his heels as he leaned in to hiss into his ear: "Chest down. And put your hands behind your head."

Sebastian was down almost before Jim had stopped speaking. "Oh, fuck, Kitten," he moaned.

Jim was just about to push in when he noticed a patch of dark grey between his white sheets. Patrick's tie! He must have forgotten it in his hurry to leave. Or maybe left it on purpose. If Sebastian saw it, everything would be ruined. Dizzy with panic, Jim grabbed the slick fabric, grateful that Sebastian's face was currently pressed into his pillow.

He could of course have hidden it more carefully, but there was another option. An absolutely devilish option. So, leaning forward, he used the tie to secure Sebastian's hands behind his head. It wasn't a very good knot and Sebastian could probably have freed himself if he wanted to, but Jim knew he was too into playing the game. He was going to be an obedient little sub and let Jim use him as he pleased. He hoped.

Steadying his cock with one hand, the other one firmly placed on Sebastian's back, Jim began pressing in, stopping when just the head was inside. "How badly do you want this, Tiger?" he purred.

"Badly?" Sebastian replied, making a weak attempt to push back.

Jim put both hands on Sebastian's hips, holding him in place. "Bad enough to beg for it?"

"Please, Kitten. Don't keep me waiting now..."

Barely suppressing a triumphant giggle, Jim bucked his hips forward.

Chapter Text

"Holy fuck," Sebastian gasped as he stretched out on the bed. "I mean... Fuck. That was so hot, Kitten."

Jim flopped down next to him, struggling to catch his breath. “Yeah?” He giggled.

"I thought I was going to burst, holding back until you allowed me to come," Sebastian admitted. "Hell. I thought you didn't like doing this and yet here we are."

Jim shrugged before pulling the duvet over them both. He was exhausted. “I figured it was your turn to walk funny,” he muttered smugly.

Sebastian laughed. "It was definitely worth it. You really surprised me."

Not as much as you surprised me, Jim thought. Then he remembered the box. “You mentioned a surprise yourself?”

"Yeah..." Sebastian grinned. "I'm selling my flat. And my bike."

“You’re what!?” Jim was suddenly wide awake.

"Yeah. We need money for our studio, and out of two flats we've lately only been using one. And if I’m only living here, I hardly ever need the bike anyway. So I figured it was a fast way to make some money." Sebastian was beaming. "I've already started selling my stuff, too. The telly and some furniture and things. There isn't a buyer for the flat just yet, but the agent said it will be sold in no time, and for good money too."

Jim just shook his head. Sebastian couldn’t be serious. You didn’t just do stuff like that. Without... without talking about it?

Sebastian cupped his face and kissed him. "One step closer to our dream. I told you we'll make it. I'll do everything I can to make it happen."

Jim’s lip began trembling and he had to bite it hard to hold back tears of rage. How had he not seen this coming?

“So you’ll be living...” His voice cracked. “... here?”

"That would be the cheapest option." Sebastian smiled. "Looks like you are surprised."

“Yeah, I did... not expect this.” Jim clenched his hands in the sheets, barely resisting the urge to punch Sebastian.

"But it's good, right?"

Jim should shake his head now. He should tell Sebastian that they could not possibly live together, that he should not sell his home. Especially not for this. The studio was Jim’s idea. Jim’s dream. He no longer planned for Sebastian to have any part in it beyond that of any other actor. Sebastian should get out now, while he could. Before it was really, truly too late.

But if he said that now, it would be the end of it all. Jim couldn’t possibly make that film with anyone else. He would not trust anyone else to do those things to him and make it look just right. He needed Seb for the film and that meant indulging him. For now.

Jim didn’t know much about such things, but surely selling a flat, even in Central London, wasn’t something you did in a matter of days. It would take weeks, maybe months. Plenty of time to plan and shoot the film and then send Sebastian home.

Jim nodded. “Of course it is, Tiger. It’s brilliant.”

"Yeah." Sebastian kissed him again, clearly happy with himself. "I still need to go get some of my stuff, of course. But the flat's almost ready to be shown. That's why I had to start packing last night. And I didn't want to tell you before I knew how much it would earn us."

Resigned, Jim nodded. “So... you have a figure? How much is it worth?”

...

Jim had to make Sebastian repeat the number thrice before he was able to take it in. “But Seb... that’s a fortune...”

It still wasn’t close to what they’d need to get premises and staff for their studio, but they’d be able to buy all of Angelo’s old equipment, which was a very good start... Except that he wasn't going to let Sebastian actually go through with it, but still...

“How could you afford it in the first place?”

"I did some favours to some rich guy." Sebastian shrugged. "He was very grateful..."

Jim could feel his eyebrows shoot upwards. Seb had once had a sugar daddy? “Very grateful,” he said, smirking.

"Yeah." Sebastian chuckled. "I guess it was a big favour, too."

Torn between curiosity and his resolve not to get any more involved in Sebastian’s life, Jim grinned and poked Sebastian’s ribs teasingly. “I bet it was.”

For some reason, Patrick’s face popped up before Jim’s inner eye. He really should apologise to the man for chucking him out like that.

He stretched out on the bed and yawned. “Well, if you’re moving in, we should celebrate. And we both know who’s the better cook.”

Sebastian laughed. "Yes, yes, on my way. Just let me recover from that awesome fuck, okay? By the way, did you get a new tie?"

It took a second too long for Jim to catch up. Luckily he didn’t do anything stupid like trying to rip the tie out of Sebastian’s hands. “Uhm, yeah... It was a belated Christmas gift. From my aunt.”

He slipped off the bed, pulling his pants back up. “If you’re cooking, I guess I should do the shopping. Text me what you need.” He began gathering his clothes. “And then take a long, hot shower. You’ve earned it.”

"Yeah." Sebastian smiled and stretched. "I'll get on it, then. Showering is usually good for getting dinner ideas. And other ideas..." He chuckled and sat up.

…

Jim stopped in at a café on his way to Sainsbury's. He needed a moment of uninterrupted thought before contacting Patrick. Sure, the man had promised he would still help Jim with his plans, even though he hadn't been completely honest with him. But Jim wasn't entirely sure that would be enough. It wasn't that the sex had been overwhelming or anything like that. In fact, fucking Sebastian afterwards had all but put it out of his mind. But there was something in the way Patrick treated him that Jim really liked. The way he talked to him. His reaction when Sebastian had shown up had been almost as thrilling as the fear of being discovered. He had not been angry with Jim. Or hurt. He had seemed... disappointed... And for some bizarre reason, it made Jim want to make it up to him. To apologise. And, if possible, get him alone again and give him a blowjob that would leave him dizzy for days.

Jim grinned at the thought, feeling the familiar heat rise in his cheeks. Oh, yes, he was definitely going to give Patrick a blowjob he would never forget. And hopefully soon.

Except, he couldn't very well invite him over again. And if he tried to make other arrangements, Patrick would get suspicious. He would know it had something to do with the supposed ex.

As he sipped his tea, he slowly formulated a plan that might work.

'I'm so sorry about what happened. I never meant to put you in that position.'

He fiddled nervously with his phone, while waiting for a reply and then nearly had a heart attack when he instead received Sebastian's grocery list. He'd barely recovered when Patrick's answer did come.

'I know, James. But you still should have told me right away. It was an unpleasant surprise.'

Jim squirmed in his seat, wishing he could see Patrick's lightly furrowed brow.

'I'm so, so sorry. I really want to make it up to you, but I find myself in a bit of a bind. You see, the reason he came by was that he needed a place to crash.'

He sent the message and followed it quickly by a second one:

'It doesn't mean we're back together or anything. I just couldn't let him sleep on the street.'

It took even longer for Patrick to reply this time.

'I see. It's very generous to help him out, Jim, but I do understand how it makes it difficult for you to entertain guests.'

Jim didn't need his understanding, he needed an invitation. So he waited. It took almost five minutes but then Patrick wrote again.

'I'm sure we can find another solution, if you are serious about making it up to me. Meet me Friday. Russell Square.'

Jim pumped his fist in triumph.

Chapter Text

"Do you feel like going to the club tonight?" Sebastian asked suddenly Wednesday evening while they were doing the dishes.

“The club?” Jim stared blankly at him. “Why?”

"Why do people go to the club?" Sebastian chuckled.

“Oh, right.” Jim nodded. “Not sure I’m really in the mood.”

"Okay." Sebastian shrugged. "I was just thinking about our film. We need a location and... There's a completely furnished dungeon right there. We could ask if we'd be allowed to film there."

That got Jim’s interest. “Do you think they’d let us? That would look so much better than a made-up set. Especially if they’ll let us use the... stuff.” Jim realised that he’d never actually seen the place.

Sebastian nodded. "That's what I was thinking. We'll have to ask, but surely it'd be good for them too. If people see the dungeon and want to go there for real..."

Jim nodded eagerly. “I’ll go get changed,” he said, dropping his plate in the sink before heading for the bedroom.

…

It looked simultaneously exactly and nothing at all like Jim would have expected a dungeon to look. There definitely were a lot of chains and contraptions made of what looked to be wood, painted black and adorned with excessive amounts of polished rivets. There were cuffs and collars of leather and metal attached in any thinkable and unthinkable spot as well as more hooks and rings than he cared to count. But the strategically placed spotlights and the discreet but visible shelves with wet wipes, water bottles and large fluffy blankets hinted at a level of care he did not usually associate with the term.

There were stocks and cages as well as one of those x-shaped crosses and, of course, chains hanging from the ceilings and walls. But there were also other contraptions that Jim could not begin to guess the purpose off. And quite frankly, he didn't want to know.

“What do you think?” Sebastian asked eagerly.

“It’s... something...” Jim made a conscious effort to relax and not picture himself on that strange high-backed chair with the large hole in the seat. He definitely did not want to know what that was for.

"If there's anything you want to try, just tell me," Sebastian said. "I know we're just having a look to see if it fits the film, but since we're here anyway..."

Jim rolled his eyes, making sure Sebastian wouldn’t see. “I don’t think so,” he said. “It’s all a bit extreme for my taste, but I’m sure it will look great on film.”

"It will," Sebastian agreed. "So did you want to check if they have anything specific? Or should we just go up and ask the managers?"

Jim looked around again. He wouldn’t know what to look for. “Sure.”

As they headed for the stairs, they were met by Pete and an elderly man who looked both scared and eager. Pete was in his long kilt, carrying a coiled whip, two paddles and a set of clamps on chains.

He beamed at them. “Sebastian! Jimmy! Long time no see.”

"Not that long." Sebastian chuckled and embraced him. "How are you?"

“Too long, anyways,” Pete said, reaching out to stroke Jim’s cheek. “I’m good. How are you?”

"Pretty great," Sebastian replied, beaming. "We're planning to put the dungeon in one of our films!"

"Oh, wow! That's a brilliant idea." Pete turned to the man at his side. "Get over to the cage and strip down," he said, giving his bum a soft pat. "There's a good boy."

Jim barely repressed a giggle, earning himself a quick double glare.

But after a second, Sebastian looked back at Pete with a thoughtful expression. “Actually, Pete… Do you think your good boy would mind an audience?”

Grinning, Pete shook his head. "He loves being watched. Especially by someone younger and cuter." He winked at Jim.

“Great.” Sebastian leaned in and whispered something in Pete’s ear. As he straightened up, Pete nodded, looking delighted, and Sebastian turned back to Jim.

“I’ll go talk to the managers, okay? You stay here and enjoy yourself.”

Jim pouted a little, but it was just for show. He would much rather stay here with Pete than go watch Sebastian sucking up to his bosses. "If you insist," he said with a dramatic sigh.

At first, Jim found it hard not to smirk or giggle as Pete scolded the naked man, who crawled around on the floor, begging his forgiveness. And when Pete put the clamps on the man's nipples, Jim seriously considered going to search for Sebastian after all. But then Pete ordered the man to stand and led him over to the cross, securing his wrists and ankles to it. The man was facing away from the cross, which Jim found rather puzzling. Wasn't the whole purpose of the thing to leave the sub's backside bare for the Dom to beat and then fuck?

Apparently that wasn't the only option, because a moment later, Pete swung the whip, letting it cut across the man's thighs with a harsh snap. Jim winced. Either Pete had very good aim or he didn't care if he hit the man's genitals, which seemed to have almost retreated into his body at this point.

Jim kept his eyes on Pete for the next couple of strikes and realised that he wasn't putting a lot of force into it. It almost looked gentle, the way he swung the whip. But not that gentle, apparently, because when Jim looked back at the man, who had now closed his eyes, he could see faint red lines appearing on his legs and stomach. That would look awesome on film. Especially on somebody younger, whose skin was a lot smoother. And who could look pleadingly into the camera, begging for mercy, hungry for more.

It didn't last too long though, which, considering the man's age, was probably for the best. Pete released him from the cross, gave his cheek a small kiss and then told him to go lock himself in the cage. The man obeyed immediately and shortly after the lock clicked, Jim could hear the unmistakable sound of the guy having a very eager wank.

After rolling up the whip and hanging it on a peg on the wall, Pete came over to Jim and put an arm around his shoulders. "So," he said. "What do you think?"

This time, Jim couldn't hide his excitement. "This place is perfect for the film," he said. "I really hope Sebastian gets permission to use it."

Pete nodded, but then frowned. "Who'll be playing the sub?" he asked.

"I will, of course," Jim said, grinning eagerly. "After all those times you guys told me how perfect I look in that part, do you really think I would let someone else do it?"

Shaking his head slowly, Pete gave Jim's shoulder a squeeze. "But Jim… A film like that. If it's going to make any sense filming here, it has to be rough. Do you really think you’re up for that? I mean, you've never gone beyond spankings and rope, have you?"

Jim's flush was only partially from anger. "I've done… stuff!" he said. "And I'm an actor. I can handle whatever I need to and make it look good too."

"Easy there, Jim," Pete said, moving to stand in front of him, cupping his cheeks between his hands. "I didn't mean to put you down or anything, I just… I don't want you getting in over your head."

Jim deflated slightly. "I know," he said. "And it's not like I'm looking forward to it, but we really need to do this film. Angelo's closing down his studio and will be selling everything off soon. If we want to get our own business on its feet, we'll need to buy as much from him as we can. And we don't have much time. A film like this will be relatively easy to edit and is bound to make an impact."

Pete stroked Jim's cheekbones with his thumb. "I understand, Jimmy," he said softly. "But don't go rushing in, okay? Let me help you."

"Help me?" Jim cocked his head. "Help me, how?"

Pete let go of him to gesture at the room around them. "I can help you get acquainted with all this stuff. Let you know what to expect."

"You mean, do a scene with me?" It was Jim's turn to frown.

"More like a lesson?" Pete said, chuckling. "I could be your tutor. I won't be your Dom because you already have one, but since I'm experienced with both giving and receiving pain, I'm definitely qualified to introduce you to it."

Jim would rather not be introduced to anything this room had to offer, but Pete was making a lot of sense.

"Okay," he said hesitantly. "If we even get to use the room."

When Pete got the man out of the cage, he told him how disgusting he had been and then ordered him over to one of the tall benches, making him lie over it, his bum in his air. It wasn't exactly a pretty bum, but Jim still got a bit of a kick out of watching Pete use the paddle on him. He wouldn't mind doing that as part of his 'lesson'.

He almost jumped when the heavy door behind him clicked and Sebastian entered again. He came to stand next to Jim, clearly doing his best to be quiet so he wouldn’t disturb the scene.

"So?" Jim whispered, leaning a bit closer.

Sebastian looked him up and down and smirked. “You look like you’re having fun.”

Jim didn't even bother to roll his eyes this time. "I'm studying," he said.

“And what an apt pupil you are.” Sebastian grinned and pressed his hand against the bulge in Jim’s trousers.

Jim couldn't quite suppress his whine, but did manage not to press into Sebastian's touch. He huffed. "What did they say? Do we get to use it?"

“We do!” Sebastian beamed. “They just want clear advertising and crediting. We don’t even have to pay!”

Jim's squeak was luckily masked by a particularly loud smack and after a quick celebratory kiss, they withdrew from the room as discreetly as possible.

Outside, Sebastian leaned down to speak in Jim’s ear, even though there was no way they could still hear them through the padded door. “Should we get a room? To celebrate?”

Jim giggled and shook his head. "How about we start with a drink instead?" Inspiring as Pete had been, Jim really didn't feel like putting on a show right now. And much less like sharing a private room with Sebastian. Not when they had a perfectly good bed at home. And with any luck, they'd be too tired by the time they got to it.

“Champagne it is!” Sebastian declared.

…

Jim had underestimated Sebastian and had to resign to an underwhelming shag in the shower when they got home. But it was worth it. The dungeon was perfect for the film he had in mind and he was actually starting to look forward to working with Pete again. Not that they were going to shag or anything, but he did have a gentler touch than Sebastian and from what Jim had seen, a whip or paddle wielded by him couldn't be too bad.

Just as he was drifting off, his phone buzzed. It was Patrick, wishing him a good night. Smiling, Jim shoved his phone under his pillow. For once, things were looking up in his life.

Chapter Text

"James," Patrick said, sounding much too serious, as they sat down on a bench in the small park. "I need to ask you something."

Jim cringed. That never boded well. "Yes?" he muttered, looking down at his hands.

"Your ex," Patrick said, using a single finger to lift Jim's chin up so he could look him in the eyes. "The one who's currently 'crashing' at your place."

Jim nodded, biting his lip.

"Are you sleeping with him?"

Jim's stomach dropped and he felt dizzy. He could feel his cheeks heating up and was pretty sure he looked just like that proverbial deer caught in headlights. As his heart pounded in his chest, he nodded again. "I'm sorry." He was glad his hands were still in his lap, now hiding a rapidly swelling erection.

Patrick sighed and shook his head slowly. "Oh James, you foolish boy." He patted Jim's cheek. "Well, I guess I can't really hold it against you. There's bound to still be some unresolved feelings between you. And you are two young, virile men, sharing such a small space every day."

Jim wanted to look away, having never felt so ashamed in his whole life. Why did Patrick have to be so understanding? Couldn't he just yell at Jim and tell him what a dirty little whore he was?

But Patrick held his eyes with his calm gaze as he leaned closer. His frown gave way to a soft smile and then he kissed Jim, who was finally able to close his eyes.

"It's okay," Patrick whispered. "Just don't… don't let the poor man get his hopes up, okay?"

"I won't," Jim whispered, feeling tears begin to build behind his eyelids. He was so incredibly horny right now. If they hadn't been out in public, he'd have jumped Patrick.

To his great relief, Patrick stood up and offered Jim his hand. "Let's go," he said, his tone almost businesslike. "I would think you have even more you need to make up for now."

Jim had to bite his tongue to not shout an eager 'yes Sir!' as he leapt to his feet.

…

"This place looks so weird empty," Jim said, looking around the main area of Gomorrah, squinting a little at the harsh lights that had replaced the usual muted multi-coloured spots.

"Just be glad the cleaning crew’s been through already," Pete said, putting a companionable arm around Jim's shoulders as he led him towards the stairs to the dungeon.

Jim glanced at the toy-bar. "Don't we need some… stuff?" he asked, trying to mask his trepidation with a laugh.

Pete grinned, not fooled at all. "I've already brought a selection down there. Don't you worry about a thing." He kissed Jim's hair. "And try to relax. I know your safeword and I know you. I won't push you further than you can take."

Jim shivered at the thought of being 'pushed' at all. "It's just that usually when people do stuff like this, it's because they like it. Or at least think they might. I know it's going to hurt and that I won't like it."

"We'll see," Pete said smugly, pushing open the door and signalling for Jim to walk down.

Jim felt like he was being taken to the gallows as he descended to the lower level, all too aware of Pete watching him intently, making plans.

...

"Do I have to be naked?" Jim asked, standing in the middle of the dungeon, his arms wrapped around himself.

"You kinda do." Pete chuckled. "It's sort of the point of all this. Being exposed and vulnerable. Don't worry, I won't let you get cold."

"I wasn't worried about the temperature," Jim muttered under his breath as he began stripping, handing his clothes to Pete.

Pete put them away and then took a chair and placed it in the middle of the room, sitting down. He looked out of place, dressed in sweatpants and a tank top, and Jim allowed himself a little giggle, which earned him a wide smile from Pete.

"I thought we'd warm you up," he said, gesturing for Jim to get closer. "Starting out with something you know and actually like."

With a relieved sigh, Jim let himself be bent over Pete's knees. Maybe this wouldn't be quite as horrible as he had feared.

Pete stroked Jim's bum gently, and Jim was reminded forcefully of how Pete had fawned over him when they first started coming to the club. "Taking advantage of the situation?" he teased, and instantly regretted it as Pete withdrew his hand. It had felt nice. Naughty. Like this was more than just a friend giving helpful advice and instructions. Like they were doing something they shouldn't be.

"I'm not sure how Sebastian usually goes about this," Pete said, his voice sounding a bit strange. "Whether he starts out rough or builds it up gradually. And how much you can take."

It was a bit odd having a conversation from this position, but Jim knew Pete wouldn't go ahead before he felt confident he'd get things right.

"Most of the time he just flips me over and lets me have it. You were right about me being a bit of a brat, so when I feel needy, I provoke him until he gets the message and then it's swift justice." Or at least it used to be like that. Jim was glad Pete couldn't see his face right now. "But you don't have to do it like he does. I wouldn't mind trying something different. For comparison."

They both laughed and then Pete's warm hand was back on his naked arse, making Jim almost sigh in relief.

"I do like the more subtle approach," Pete said, rubbing the right cheek fondly. "Working up a nice pink colour."

"Go for it!" Jim said and let his head hang down.

When Pete began spanking him, Jim closed his eyes, giving in to the sensations. It was very gentle at first, just hard enough to make a delicious smack and leave a slight sting. It reminded him a bit of the velvet flogger Sebastian had used on him, especially as his skin began tingling and burning from the constant stimulation.

He recalled how worked up that sensation had gotten him and somewhere in the back of his mind a small voice was telling him that maybe this was enough of that particular activity and they should move on to what they were here for.

But Pete was really very good at this and now the smacks were coming harder and faster, sending jolts of pain/pleasure through Jim's entire body, making it impossible to form coherent thoughts.

He was growing hard against Pete's thigh, but it couldn't be helped. And considering how many times they'd fucked and more, there really was no point in being shy about it. If anything, it might serve as an indication to Pete that Jim could indeed handle this.

"Are you always this quiet?" Pete asked suddenly, his hand pausing.

"Huh?" Jim twisted his head to look up at him, almost losing his balance. "Oh, sorry. Usually not. I guess I was just enjoying it too much."

"Or maybe I'm not being strict enough with you." The hint of threat in Pete's voice almost did Jim in and when he began hitting again, much harder this time, Jim let go of his dignity and was soon yelping and pleading, rutting against Pete's thigh and squirming to get away. When he tried to catch a break by shielding his sore bum with his hand, Pete grabbed his wrist and twisted his arm upwards. Jim howled and then he was coming, spilling all over Pete's lap.

The silence was deafening, only broken by their panting breath.

"Sorry…" Jim muttered, hiding his face with his free hand.

"Don't be…" Pete let go of Jim's wrist and nudged him to get him to stand. "That was… impressive… I didn't think you'd be that into it. Considering…"

Jim's face was burning and he couldn't look at Pete. "It was the wrist." He sighed. "I really like being grabbed like that. And since you'd already gotten me pretty worked up, it just… happened…"

"Oh Jim." Pete got up and wrapped his arms around him, giving him a tight hug and then kissed his forehead. "You shouldn't be embarrassed by that. As I said, I'm impressed. Very few subs can come from so little. Especially when they're so new to the whole thing."

Jim couldn't resist leaning against him. "I'm not that new. I've had a lot of practice in a fairly short time."

"I believe you!" Pete snorted. "I can imagine Sebastian has been taking advantage of finding such a perfect sub."

Not wanting to be reminded of Sebastian right now, Jim looked up at Pete with a small smile. "You helped too. A lot."

They looked at each other for a long moment and then, looking slightly confused as he moved, Pete bent down and gave Jim a soft kiss.

Pete cleared his throat as he let go of him. "I better go change," he said, gesturing to the mess on his thighs, making Jim blush again. "Please, have a look around. Or maybe go through the toys over there, so we'll have an idea what to try next."

Jim didn't move until Pete had left the room. Then, walking carefully both from the pain in his rear and from feeling slightly lightheaded, Jim made his way over to the box Pete had indicated. Its contents were what nightmares were made of: whips, floggers, straps, paddles, switches, clamps, gags, restraints and even a pile of black-and-white latex that Jim seriously hoped was not a maid's uniform. There was also a selection of plugs and vibrators of various shapes and sizes. He'd just picked up a very flexible translucent purple dildo when he heard the door open behind him.

"We don't have to use all of it," Pete said, buttoning his jeans. "I just got some of everything, so we could get as creative as you want."

Jim held up the dildo. "I do know how these work," he said teasingly. "I thought this was about me learning new things."

It was Pete's turn to look sheepish. "Yeah… I guess I let myself get carried away a bit. I've always favoured that one."

Laughing, Jim put it down again and picked up one of the floggers. "I think my bum will need a break, but this can be used all over, right?"

Pete took the flogger and let it swing from his hand in a way that looked a lot more exciting that it should. "It can," he said. "But I must warn you, it stings."

"I can handle it," Jim said, defiantly raising his chin in the way that usually made Sebastian shove him up against the nearest wall and snog him senseless.

Pete just grinned and gestured for Jim to walk over to the cross. "Let's try it here," he said. "It's best if you’re kept in place so I don't hit anything I shouldn't."

Jim didn't last long this time. There was nothing pleasant about the sting of this flogger and being struck on the chest and thighs was freaking him out a bit. This was not sexy. He'd do it for the film, of course, and let Sebastian carry on a lot longer, but he had no desire to endure any more of it right now.

Pete suggested the clamps next and reluctantly Jim agreed to try. The howl he let out as the first one closed around his nipple was enough for Pete to remove it at once. Panting, Jim tried to laugh at himself. "I guess that won't be in the movie…"

Pete guided him over to sit for a while and threw a blanket over his shoulders. "I guess Seb could wear some," he said, handing Jim a bottle of water. "That would look cool."

Yeah, and Sebastian would probably love it. Love proving to Jim how he was so much tougher than him. So much more experienced. He shrugged.

"Do you need a break?" Pete asked. "Or do you want to try anything else? There's still plenty of stuff in the box."

Jim thought for a moment. "I've tried a paddle," he said. "So there's no reason to do that now. But maybe one of the straps." He put the cap back on the bottle and quickly added: "On my back. And I think my bum is recovered enough."

Pete didn't seem quite convinced about the last part, but after getting the strap he guided Jim over to one of the walls where several chains and cuffs were attached. While he was securing Jim's arms above his head, not so high that it became uncomfortable, he leaned in and gave Jim's cheek a kiss, waited a moment and then, when Jim didn't object, kissed his neck and shoulder too.

"I'm so glad you're trusting me with this," he whispered in Jim's ear. "It really means a lot to me."

Glancing over his shoulder, Jim smiled at Pete. "I wouldn't trust anybody else," he said. He licked his lips and Pete got the hint, surging in for an eager kiss. He was pressed flush against Jim's back, and as Jim wiggled his bum he got the proof he wanted. Pete wasn't completely unaffected by this either.

Breathless, Pete stepped back and let the strap slide slowly over Jim's skin. "Are you ready?" he asked. "You remember your word?"

Jim nodded, steeling himself.

At the first strike across his back he screamed, as much in surprise as in pain. This was a whole new level of unpleasant. Before he had really recovered, Pete hit his thighs and Jim jumped, trying to twist away. He was so close to crying colonel, but having just wimped out of the clamps, he didn't want to be a chicken again, so he bit his lip and waited, his whole body tense and trembling.

Pete aimed for his back again and then his thighs. There was a pause and then the strap whipped across his arse. "Holy, fucking hell!" Jim cried, almost banging his head against the wall as he jerked.

Pete paused again, probably giving him a chance to stop it. Then he hit again, almost in the same spot.

"Too… Too much…" Jim gasped. "Colonel! Colonel!"

And then Pete was right there behind him, wrapping one arm around Jim's chest while reaching up to free his hands. "I'm sorry, Jim," he whispered into his neck, peppering it with kisses. "I'm so sorry. I thought it was okay. I thought you were doing fine."

As soon as he was free, Jim turned around to hug Pete. "I am fine!" he gasped. "Just… It hurt too much. I didn't think I could handle another one."

Pete stroked his hair gently. "It was my fault," he grumbled. "I knew you were still too sore from the spanking but you just looked so good. You know how much I adore your arse and I couldn't help myself.”

Jim laughed, a little hysterically probably, and looked up at Pete. "Who could blame you?" he asked.

Pete did smile at this, but Jim could see that he was still beating himself up inside about having gone too far.

"Hey!" Jim moved his hand up to Pete's cheek. "It's okay. It really is. You did nothing wrong. I found one of my limits, that's all. Isn't it about time that happened?"

The smile was more genuine this time and Jim did not hesitate in pulling Pete down for a kiss.

…

Jim had definitely gotten a lot of ideas for the movie. It was surprising how many of the things in that dungeon could be used to shag on, against or even under. Pete really did have amazing stamina and Jim was absolutely exhausted when they finally broke apart, lying on the floor, panting.

"That was…" he gasped. "Very educational…"

They both snorted and Pete sat up, reaching out to push Jim's hair away from his eyes. "I'd say…"

Jim sat up too and leaned in for a sloppy, lazy kiss. "I'm sorry for ruining the fun earlier."

"You didn't ruin anything," Pete said, pulling Jim close. "You acted responsibly and… I mean… We still did have fun. A lot of it!" He gestured at the used condoms lying scattered around the room. "I don't think I've ever been that hard at work. At least not with a single client."

"Oh?" Jim raised an eyebrow. "I'm a client?"

"Of course not!" Pete kissed him again. "You know what I mean."

When they finally made it upstairs, a couple of bartenders and other staff were preparing the club for opening. Pete checked the time on his phone and gasped. "Holy fuck! That can't be right. No way were we down there 3 hours!"

Jim tensed at once. He'd told Sebastian it would be an hour tops. That Pete was just going to show him a few things and maybe try out some of it. "I should… I better go home."

He was ready to bolt for the exit when Pete pulled him into a final hug. "I'm so glad I have the night off," he said. "You've really worn me out."

"I aim to please." Jim gave Pete's bum a soft pat, making him giggle.

"You know what," Pete said, catching Jim's wrist. "Maybe I should make Sebastian an offer. From what I've seen today, there's no way he is able to keep you in line all by himself. Do you think he'd be up for… outsourcing some of your spankings?" When Jim just stared at him, he added quickly: "I know it won't be as sudden and spontaneous as what you guys usually do, but there can be excitement in anticipation too. In having to wait for it."

His head buzzing, Jim barely managed a nod. "Yeah, sure," he said, pulling away. "That would be great."

As soon as Pete let go of him, Jim turned and practically ran through the club. He needed to get out of here. He needed air.

Sitting on the curb outside Gomorrah, he buried his head in his hands, gasping with what he seriously hoped was not some kind of panic attack.

What had he done?

It was one thing sleeping around with random strangers. He was pretty sure Sebastian did that too. But Pete was their friend. Sebastian's friend! Maybe even his best friend?

This was not just about Jim cheating on Sebastian. If this got out, it could really fuck things up between them. All of them. Hell, if things got too bad between them, Pete might lose his job over this. All because Jim had lost his last remnants of self control.

He was so pathetic.

A few pats on the bum and some flattering words and he just dropped and spread. Worse than that, even. Pete had been interested, yes, but Jim did not doubt that, had he not made such a blatant move, nothing would have happened. Nothing beyond what they were supposed to be doing.

He hadn't even learned that much. He could handle the flogger, and probably the strap too if he wasn't too sore in advance, but that was it. They'd never even made it to the whip. And though he'd been bent over the stocks, he'd never been locked in them, so he neither knew how it felt nor had any idea how it would look.

Why was he such an idiot? Why couldn't he just keep it in his pants?

Well, he though with a weak laugh. Maybe if he had actually been wearing pants…

Chapter Text

“Hello, Kitten.” Beaming, Sebastian pulled him into a hug. “How did it go?”

Jim gritted his teeth silently and shifted a little. "Painfully," he said. "I'm kind of sore, so if you wouldn't mind…?"

"Oh! Sorry." Sebastian quickly let go of him. "I hope Pete didn't hurt you too much."

"Nothing I couldn't handle," Jim said, toeing off his shoes and heading for the sofa.

"Do you want me to have a look?" Sebastian gestured at Jim's chest as he sat down. "I can put some ointment on the bruises and stuff... Control the damage?"

Instantly on full alert, Jim shook his head. "No, that's not necessary. Pete already did that," he said quickly. If Seb saw how few bruises he actually had, he'd want to know what had taken them so long. Jim would have to find a way to keep his clothes on around Sebastian until it was plausible that it had all faded. He had no clue how long that would be. He was so screwed.

"Of course he did." Sebastian smiled. "So what did you two get up to? Which toys did he use?"

“All of it, I think.” Jim began listing the things he’d seen in Pete’s box.

"Wait," Sebastian interrupted him before he was even halfway through. "He used all of that? In one session?"

Jim felt all the blood rush from his head. “Yes...?” he squeaked, realising his blunder too late. “But like not a lot. Just to give me an idea how it felt. And how it looked.” He tried beaming at Sebastian. “That film is going to be so hot!”

"You bet it will be," Sebastian agreed. "So... Can I see you? The marks?" He licked his lips.

“Not right now.” Jim squirmed a little. “I know you guys get off on bruises and stuff, but to me it just feels like I’m... damaged. It makes me feel ugly.”

"Oh no. You could never be ugly." Sebastian leaned in to kiss his cheek. "But it's okay. Did you have a shower yet? Or do you want to eat something?"

“A shower would be nice,” Jim admitted. “I’m not really hungry.” The way his stomach was clenching, he doubted he’d ever want to eat again.

Jim fetched his baggiest pajamas and headed for the shower. He’d gotten away with it. He’d let Sebastian’s best friend fuck him six ways from Sunday. And then some. And Sebastian didn’t have a clue.

As he began stroking himself, Jim regretted that he couldn’t shag Sebastian too. That would have been the perfect way to complete this little adventure. But the lack of bruises on his body kind of ruled that out.

Except... Jim’s hand stilled as he realised that he did have some marks to show. And in a very convenient place, too.

Three minutes later, his wet hair dripping on the collar of his pajamas, Jim left the bathroom. “Sebastian?” he called. “I’ve changed my mind.”

"About?" Sebastian looked up from his phone.

Jim turned around and lifted up the shirt just enough to reveal his bum, still red from the spanking and with two darker, purpling lines across it, peeking out over the pyjama bottoms that he had pushed down before leaving the bathroom.

For a moment, Sebastian was so completely still he didn't even seem to breathe. Then Jim felt a couple of soft fingertips trace one of the lines.

Jim winced. “They look worse than they feel.”

"Do they?" Sebastian pressed, just a little.

Jim yelped. “Maybe...” He glanced over his shoulder. “You could kiss it and make it better?”

Sebastian smirked. "Yeah. I could do that." He put his hands on Jim's hips and pulled him closer, then licked a long stripe over one of the lines.

“Oh wow...” Jim moaned. “That feels good.”

"Yeah?" Sebastian chuckled and then applied a little more pressure on the next line.

Jim gasped and jumped a little. “Maybe we should move this to the bedroom?” he suggested, no longer trusting his knees to keep him up.

"Maybe." Sebastian stole one more lick before he gently pushed Jim forward and got to his feet.

“Just don’t peek, okay?” Jim said. “Let me keep the clothes on. Okay?”

"Okay." Sebastian kissed his neck as he herded him towards the bedroom.

“I hope I’ve shown you enough,” Jim said, deliberately stalling.

"You know you didn't have to. If it's uncomfortable..."

“It made you happy, didn’t it?” Jim asked. “And besides, it’s not like you haven’t seen me with a sore bottom before.”

"It's making me very happy," Sebastian purred. "Now move!" He lowered his hand to Jim's arse and applied some pressure.

With an undignified yip, Jim leapt into the room, seeking refuge on the bed.

Sebastian was right behind him, pulling him up by his hips so he had easy access to lick and nibble around the bruises.

Making himself as comfortable as possible with his arse in the air, Jim closed his eyes, enjoying Sebastian's attention for once.

Sebastian kept at it for a while, alternating pressure. Finally he spread Jim's arse cheeks, making sure to avoid the bruises, and started licking between them.

"Hmm," he said after a moment. "Pete had some fun with this too, then?"

Jim tensed up immediately. “He had some plugs,” he said quickly. “And this weird-looking purple thing.”

"Oh, the tentacle?" Sebastian asked.

“The what?!” Jim snorted, feeling very relieved that he had not let Pete use it on him.

"Didn't it remind you of one?" Sebastian sounded amused, and then made his tongue wriggle against Jim's arse.

“I... I must admit I’ve never had a tentacle up there, so I wouldn’t know.” He pushed back a little, wanting Sebastian to get on with it rather than making conversation.

"I bet you didn't let him use it for long," Sebastian said, sliding in two fingers. "You probably moved on straight to the big plugs. I can still feel it."

No wonder he could feel it. Jim squirmed at the memory of Pete slamming into him over and over again. “You know me too well, Tiger.”

"Maybe you should ride me," Sebastian suggested. "So you can back off when it hurts too much."

“Good idea,” Jim said. “Except... I can’t really do that, wearing these.” He tugged at his pyjama bottoms. “I’d rather not show you my legs. Yet.” He wondered if Sebastian had been trying to trick him into exposing his lies. Probably not. He was just being his usual thoughtful boring self.

"Right. I'll just be careful, then." Sebastian softly petted the lines and then grabbed the lube.

Finally! Jim breathed a sigh of relief.

It felt so good when Sebastian filled him, but then instead of fucking him senseless, he began moving in a slow rhythm, never going really deep. Jim huffed with frustration. “I’m sore,” he said, pushing back against Sebastian. “Not an invalid.” He wondered briefly if Sebastian would have been provoked into action if Jim told him that Pete had fucked him so thoroughly that he could barely feel Sebastian’s cock inside him. Better not risk it.

"But you didn't want pain..." Sebastian sounded worried.

Jim groaned. “I’ll let you know if it becomes too much.”

It struck him that Sebastian might be even more bothered by Jim having used the safeword with Pete than the actual sex. Somehow it seemed more intimate. The way Pete had rushed to him, making sure he was okay. He had praised Jim for it. Not been disappointed with him.

As they snuggled afterwards, Jim finally felt sated. Once Sebastian had been convinced that Jim could take it, he had relented and fucked him properly. Jim hadn’t come, but still enjoyed it immensely. Sebastian had accepted readily that it was due to fatigue, knowing nothing of the countless orgasms Pete had drawn from him.

Sebastian really was too trusting. Jim fervently hoped that his next lover would be someone deserving and not such a complete shit as Jim had turned out to be.

…

As bad as being with Sebastian made him feel, it was all but forgotten when Patrick treated him to a very lovely dinner two days later at one of those restaurants that were so expensive it almost seemed ridiculous.

After Patrick had scolded him mildly about his continued 'indiscretions' with his ex, he took Jim's hand and told him how precious he looked when he was blushing and how he just had to forgive him when he was so obviously repentant.

This made Jim feel good in all manner of ways and, since he couldn't let Patrick take him to bed with the bruises still clearly visible, he instead convinced him to let Jim treat him to a very thorough blowjob on a discreet bench in the park before saying goodnight.

The experience was only heightened by Patrick's obvious trepidation when they heard a group of people pass close by. But they weren't caught and Patrick's praise was still ringing in Jim's ears when he walked into the flat to find Sebastian folding laundry at the table.

“Hey there.” He smiled. “Did you have a good night?”

Jim shrugged. "Yeah. My aunts aren't exactly the most exciting conversational partners, but they're not too bad."

“What did you tell them you do for work?” Sebastian looked amused.

Jim grinned. "Oh, they know I'm an actor. They even saw me in a play once. Many years ago, of course."

“I hope they didn’t ask to see any of your newer work. They might be in for a shock.”

"I told them I'm taking a break to try my hand at writing," he said. "While my handsome boyfriend supports me." He winked at Sebastian and then went to help him with the sheets.

“Did you see the invitation from Mike yet?” Sebastian asked when they were done. “For Angelo’s surprise party?”

"Huh?" Jim frowned at him. "No. Are they really doing that?"

“Yeah. I got a text,” Sebastian said. “It’s on Friday, to celebrate his retirement and wish him good luck with the next job. To be honest, I think they all just hope they’ll get free meals. At least I do.”

"Right…" Jim considered for a moment. He really didn't feel like facing Angelo again after what he'd pulled on them. Even if their next film somehow became an instant success, the chances of raising that kind of money in time were minuscule. "I don't really feel like going. You can if you want to."

Sebastian frowned. “But you’ve been with the studio much longer than me. Don’t you want to see all the other actors together one last time?”

“Not really. Considering the way they all treated me.”

"Angelo was actually a pretty big help to us," Sebastian mused. "I mean... Okay, his stuff is expensive. But without him, I'd never have met you. So yeah, I think I'll go."

“Have fun!” Jim picked up a stack of t-shirts and carried them to the bedroom.

Sebastian followed him, frowning as Jim opened the wardrobe. He leaned against the doorpost but didn't say anything.

“What?” Jim asked, not looking at him.

"You've been home for what, twenty minutes?" Sebastian glanced at his watch. "Something like that. I didn't get as much as a kiss and now you seem all mad about the Angelo thing. I mean, I get that you wanted more of a discount, but he did start both our careers. So... Are you sure you didn't let your aunts get to you?"

“Don’t be an idiot,” Jim snarled before he could stop himself.

There was a moment of stunned silence before Sebastian asked: "What?"

Jim winced. “Fuck, no, sorry. I didn’t mean that. It’s just... Do you really have to look beyond our current situation to find a reason for me being upset? I mean, I lost my job, I can’t get a loan and, as good as I think it’s going to be, I’m not exactly looking forward to doing that film.”

Sebastian stepped closer and wrapped his arms around him. "We don't have to do it. We can do something else. Something that's just as hot and doesn't stress you out."

“We don’t have time for that,” Jim huffed. “Besides, we already got the dungeon, right?”

"Yeah, but... We don't have to use everything in it. We could surprise people who see the dungeon and expect certain things, doing something soft..."

“Disappoint them, you mean?” Jim rolled his eyes but smiled. “People who buy something like that expect certain things. Others who might enjoy softer things would never go for a dungeon setting. We might sell enough copies, but we’d ruin our reputation.”

Sebastian sighed. "You're right. I just don't want you to feel bad."

“I can handle it,” Jim said, looking up at Sebastian. “I’m sorry I snapped at you.” He sighed. “I just don’t feel like going to that party.”

"Then don't." Sebastian gave him a kiss. "I'll make your excuses."

Chapter Text

Over the next couple of days, things were pretty quiet around the flat. Jim found his thoughts shifting between the horrors that awaited him once they started shooting and the delicious guilt that Patrick could make him feel with a single frown or indulgent word. He couldn't quite understand how he'd developed that particular kink, but supposed it had all started with Tony.

At first it had been enough to know he was being bad. That feeling of going behind Sebastian's back and getting away with it. They'd had some amazing shags both after Tony and Richard. And after Patrick, for that matter. But it was no longer nearly enough. Sure, it had been nice after Pete too, but that might also be because he was hiding the bigger lie of having tried all the tools Sebastian would be using on him soon. And, of course, because Pete was Sebastian's friend.

Even then, it just didn't compare to how Patrick made him feel. The fact that Patrick knew Jim was letting another man have him and, rather than pushing Jim away or, even worse, just accepting it, he was making Jim pay for his transgressions. Who would have ever thought that trading sex for forgiveness could be so hot?

Simply thinking about it had Jim rush to the bathroom twice in a single day for a quick, flushed wank, and while Sebastian was out shopping, he even called Patrick, confessing to a fresh misdeed for which he was rewarded with a stern talking-to. Jim conveyed his gratitude by sending Patrick a series of pictures of him looking repentant and just a tiny bit naughty.

There was no doubt in Jim's mind. As soon as the film was done, he was kicking Seb out and getting Patrick back in his bed. And maybe calling Pete for a second go, if he wasn't too loyal to Seb to play.

Except for when they were shagging, which wasn't happening too frequently anymore, Sebastian left Jim pretty much to himself. Maybe he, too, was getting weary of it all. Was sensing that this thing they'd had had played itself out and it was time to move on. After filming, of course.

On Thursday morning, Sebastian joined him at the breakfast table, looking so serious that Jim was worried he’d worked it out.

“Jim,” Sebastian said, “I think we need to talk.”

No! Jim tried to fight the sudden wave of panic crashing over him. It was too soon.

“Oh?” he managed after swallowing hard and clearing his throat.

“Look, I’m… I’m not sure we should do the movie. I know you don’t want to disappoint the viewers. But… You’ve been so withdrawn. The thought is clearly haunting you and… I don’t think it’s worth it.”

This was even worse than Sebastian breaking up with him. What was the point of all this if they didn’t go through with it?

“It's fine, Sebastian,” Jim said quickly. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and... and trying things with Pete really helped too. I know I can handle it. I’m fine. Really.”

"Then what's going on?" Sebastian asked, still frowning. "I've tried to give you space, but... I'm worried about you, Kitten. You're not yourself these days."

“I’m sorry.” Jim got up and went around the table so he could hug Sebastian, leaning against his broad back. “Got lost in my head again, I guess.” He thought for a moment, then added: “Want to help me get out of it? I might even feel like going to that silly party afterwards.”

"Yeah," Sebastian said, reaching back to pet Jim's head. "I'd like that." He pushed Jim back and turned towards him, gesturing at his lap. "Right here? Or in the bedroom?"

“You decide,” Jim purred, running his fingers through Sebastian’s hair. “It’s more fun if you’re in charge.” It wasn’t just an act, Jim realised. He really could do with a nice rough spanking right now. To take his mind off things.

Sebastian smiled. "Then let's move. You go ahead and get undressed. I'll be right with you."

Jim practically ran to the bedroom, shedding his clothes on the way. If only they could make this good, everything might work out okay. He could even pretend that Sebastian had found out about the others and was punishing him. He giggled at the thought.

Sebastian's trademark predatory grin was back in place as he approached the bed. He immediately pulled Jim over his lap, but didn't touch him at first, leaving Jim to writhe in anticipation. And then his hand came down hard and Jim cried out, grabbing hold of Sebastian’s leg. “Don’t hold back,” he gasped. “Hit me like I deserve it.” He hid his face in the sheets, grinning eagerly.

After the way Sebastian had been treating him lately, it was almost a surprise that he did keep up his forceful hits. Now and then he paused to pet the reddened skin, but the short intervals only helped to make the next hit unexpected and more painful.

Jim was squirming and struggling. Pleading for mercy and begging for more. He imagined he was feeling Sebastian’s fury over Tony. Richard. Pete. It was perfect.

But it didn't last. Sebastian was petting his skin again, and then asked: "That should do it, right? You haven't been that bad."

'No!' Jim wanted to cry. 'I’ve been so so very bad. I deserve no mercy.'

He let out a huff, slipping off Sebastian’s lap onto his knees. “I suppose,” he muttered. “If you’re done...”

Sebastian frowned as he looked down at him. "Aren't you?"

Jim shrugged. “It was good...” He couldn’t meet Sebastian’s eyes. To have gotten so close and be let down was almost worse than getting nothing. He thought back to Pete twisting his arm and got an idea. “Maybe if you tie me up. Or use some kind of force.”

Sebastian smirked. "Okay." He got up and grabbed Jim's upper arm, flinging him onto the mattress. "So you do want more." He unbuckled his belt and then leaned over Jim, the grin back in place.

Jim whimpered at the sight. That was so much better. He tried scrambling away. “No... please... I didn’t mean it...” If there was one thing Sebastian was good at, it was keeping Jim in place. At least physically. He almost snorted at the pun.

Sebastian chuckled, pulled out his belt with a snap and was on him immediately to secure his wrists with it. "Oh no, you're not going anywhere. Not before I've taught you a lesson."

Once he'd tied Jim to the bed, he got up and pulled some soft rope out of the closet to tie both his feet to the foot of the bed, leaving his legs spread. "Actually..." Sebastian mused, looking down on him, "why should Pete be the only one to teach you?"

He turned and rummaged in the closet before pulling out a whip, showing it to Jim before stretching it between his hands.

The protests died in Jim’s throat. He had told Sebastian he could easily handle this, so he couldn’t chicken out before they’d even begun. And from what he’d heard, this was going to hurt like hell. He was completely exposed. Sebastian could hit him anywhere. And Jim couldn’t get away.

Of course, Sebastian would stop if Jim cried colonel. Except... What if he knew more than he’d been letting on? What if he really wanted to hurt Jim. What if he didn’t stop?

As terror washed over him, Jim closed his eyes.

But Sebastian didn't start hitting him right away. Jim felt his hands on his ankles, moving up his legs all the way to his hips and then smoothing over his stomach to his chest.

He opened one eye to see what Sebastian was up to.

Sebastian tweaked both Jim's nipples with his thumbs and then, still smirking, moved down to take Jim's cock in his mouth.

What fresh hell was this? The sight of the whip had effectively chased away the half-hearted erection brought on by the spanking and right now his cock felt embarrassingly small. It wasn’t that he objected to being taken advantage of while bound, but surely Sebastian could come up with something more exciting than a blowjob.

But Sebastian really did start licking and sucking and then even probing his arse with a finger.

After what felt like an eternity, he let go and looked up. "You're... not enjoying this." Sebastian gestured at Jim's still-soft cock.

Jim lifted his head up, smiling apologetically. “Sorry, it’s just... You kind of scared me with that whip. I can’t just switch that off.”

"I thought I'd surprise you by giving you a treat before I got to that," Sebastian explained. "Get you all worked up and then... I'm sorry."

“It’s okay,” Jim said. “I guess I’m just not quite there. Anticipating pain is really not a turn-on for me.”

"But... Experiencing it is?" Sebastian asked.

“Not exactly.” Jim tugged a bit at the belt around his wrists. “Not the pain, but... Sometimes the situation...” he shook his head, not knowing how to explain it. “Not what’s being done to me but how. Why.”

"Okay." Sebastian nodded thoughtfully. "Do you want to stop?"

Jim considered this carefully. He was still kind of worked up, but not in a sexy way. The moment of terror when he thought that Seb might not stop even if he used the safeword had drained him emotionally but left him with with enough adrenaline that he felt like he could run a marathon.

“I think that would be best.”

After Sebastian untied him, Jim got dressed again and went out for a walk. He would have preferred a jog, but his legs were too wobbly and his arse still sore.

He considered calling Patrick, but with the mood he was in, he couldn’t trust himself not to snap at the man if he didn’t give him exactly what he wanted. Instead he ended up in a small park, where he found a bench rough enough to create a delicious burn in his heated skin whenever he shifted.

He almost laughed at how pathetic he was being, but then it struck him. This might be the solution to all his most urgent problems.

Chapter Text

Sebastian pushed several people aside in his hurry to get to the bar. “So here you are!” he shouted, so loud that it was clearly audible over the music.

Jim cried out in surprise and nearly fell off the tall stool, spilling his drink all over his jeans. "What… What's wrong?" he croaked, staring up at Sebastian, fumbling for a napkin.

“Oh, drop the act. You know exactly what’s wrong,” Sebastian growled.

Jim's blood ran cold and he had to grab the bar for support. "Oh, I… I'm sorry?"

“Really? That’s all you have to say?”

"What else can I say?" Jim got off the stool, keeping his head down. "We should probably go home. Talk about this?"

“No fucking way. If you can come here to cheat on me, you can also take your punishment here.”

"I'm not here to..." Jim looked around, desperately. But nobody was coming to his aid. "I was just having a drink before going home."

“Of course. Loverboy’s already gone, right? So I guess I’ll just have to take it out on you.” There was no humour in Sebastian’s cruel grin.

"Please! I wasn't meeting anybody!" Jim tried backing away, but was trapped between Sebastian and the bar. "Can we just go? I'll make it up to you. Anything you want."

Sebastian grabbed the back of his neck and leaned in, their faces almost touching. “You’re coming down with me.”

"Down?" Jim tried swallowing. "You mean…? No! Please!"

Sebastian stepped aside and, pushing Jim in front of him, steered him towards the black door.

Jim ducked and tried to twist away, but Sebastian immediately flung an arm around his waist. "Oh no, you don't," he growled, hoisting Jim over his shoulder and carrying him the rest of the way.

Trying to bite back panicked tears, Jim grabbed hold of Sebastian’s shirt. He wanted to fight, but couldn’t risk being dropped as Sebastian descended the stairs.

Once they reached the dungeon, Sebastian threw him down on a padded wooden bench. For a long moment he just glared at him, and Jim was frozen in place. Then Sebastian pulled a long, coarse rope from a shelf and quickly tied Jim's wrists in front of him with it. He pulled him up roughly and pushed him forward until he stood under a hook, to which Sebastian attached the rope, leaving Jim to stand with his hands above his head.

Jim whimpered and looked pleadingly up at him, but Sebastian barely spared him a glance before grabbing the knife that lay on a small table next to him. He wasn’t nearly as careful as Jim had been when he’d cut Sebastian’s clothes, and simply ripped through the front of Jim’s black tank top in one swift motion, leaving his chest exposed.

Sebastian glared at him a few seconds longer, the tip of the knife dangerously close to Jim’s chest, but then seemed to reconsider and put it back on the table before quickly stripping the jeans off him. He tossed them aside and then slipped two fingers between Jim’s arse cheeks.

“There’s no denying it now, is there?” Sebastian said, pulling back his fingers and holding them up for Jim to see the glistening wetness of the lube.

Jim hung his head, not willing to meet Sebastian’s eyes. “It was just a toy,” he muttered. “To practise.”

"Oh yeah?" Sebastian scoffed. "And whose toy was it?"

Jim’s cheeks were burning. “I... I don’t... Mine?”

"Right." Sebastian scoffed. "If you can't be honest with me even now..." He grabbed a long, thin bar from the rack on the wall and Jim cringed, but Sebastian didn't hit him with it. Instead, he clasped two cuffs around Jim's ankles and clicked the bar into the appendages between them, spreading Jim's legs effectively. "The proof's right there," Sebastian said, walking around him. "Don't you think it hurts me that you're still denying it?" He was behind Jim now, and suddenly an awful pain shot across Jim's back.

Jim screamed and began sobbing. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

"What for? I thought you were only using your own toy." The whip came down again.

Trying to twist away, Jim screamed again. “I lied. It was... it was just some guy, it... It didn’t mean anything. I’m sorry.”

“Now we’re getting somewhere.” Sebastian moved in front of Jim again, stretching the whip between his hands. “Just some guy. Who was it?”

Jim could not take his eyes off the whip as he trembled and squirmed. “It was Martin. From work. He’s been...” Jim sniffed. “He’s been hitting on me and I was feeling lonely because you were busy and... It was just supposed to be a cup of coffee...” He whimpered. “It was just one time, I swear!”

“A cup of coffee?” Sebastian repeated. “And you came here for that?” He shook his head and put the whip back on the rack, but picked a flogger instead.

“No.” Jim bit his lip. “I came here afterwards. I felt so bad and wanted to be someplace familiar. Someplace safe.” He grimaced at the irony of it all.

“And did you have someone make you feel better here?”

“Not here!” Jim gasped. “Never here...”

"Never? So this wasn't the first time?" Sebastian moved behind him again and let the flogger come down on his back.

Jim flinched and gasped. “No!” he cried out when Sebastian struck again. “Not the first!”

"Who else?" Sebastian growled, barely giving him any reprieve between hits.

“Steve!” Jim cried. “I fucked him. In the showers at... at the gym!” He was sobbing again, trying to turn enough to see Sebastian.

Sebastian lowered the flogger. "Steve? The fucking prick. I should have known he couldn't keep his hands off you..."

“Don’t... Don’t blame him!” Jim pleaded, using the pause to try and get his breath back under control. “It wasn’t his fault. We’d been having fun and it just... It just happened.”

"You just happened to forget you had a boyfriend." Sebastian moved in front of him and reached up. For a moment it looked like he might caress Jim's cheek, but then he slapped him, hard.

Taking a moment to recover, Jim shook his head. “I’m disgusting,” he muttered. “I know. Sometimes I just can’t help myself... I don’t want to do it but...”

"But you're a little slut?" Sebastian said.

Jim’s trembling was not caused by fear alone now. “Yes!” he cried, arching his back. “Yes. I’m so bad.”

Sebastian grabbed the knife again. “You’re mine. Do you understand? Mine.”

“I am!” Jim confirmed, eyeing it nervously.

"Then act like it!" The knife flashed through the air and then Jim's wrists were no longer straining above his head, the slashed rope falling to his shoulders as Sebastian caught hold of him, preventing him from losing his balance.

Jim groaned at the ache in his arms. “I will.” He looked up at Sebastian. “I promise. I’ll never do it again.”

“But you said you couldn’t help it,” Sebastian pointed out. “That it all just happened. So how can you promise me?”

“I don’t know.” Jim slumped down. Defeated. “I’ll try to be good. To remember.” He held his hands out to Sebastian. “Or you can leave. You should leave me.”

Sebastian snorted. "Didn't we just establish you're mine? I'm not going anywhere. You'll just have to deal with the consequences of what you’ve done." He released the bar and pulled it from between Jim's ankles, then pushed him onto the bench, face-down.

Jim turned his head to hide a grin he couldn't hold back. “Consequences?” he whined.

“Oh yes.” Sebastian pulled Jim’s legs apart so they framed either side of the bench, exposing his arse. “You haven’t been punished nearly enough.”

This time, Jim recognised the feeling of the paddle coming down hard on his bum. His cry had a different note to it now and he tilted his hips, almost inviting the next blow. Soon he was rutting against the bench, his pleas becoming incoherent as Sebastian kept up the fast pace.

His skin felt like it was on fire when Sebastian finally stopped. Jim didn't dare turn his head to look up at him, knowing he could not mask the lust in his eyes. So instead he sniffled and muttered into the bench. "I'm so sorry. I… I'll tell you everything. Just don't leave me."

“So there’s more to tell?” Sebastian growled. “Is that why you’re writhing around like that? Has someone finally taught you to get off on this?” He grabbed Jim’s shoulder and roughly pulled him to his feet, gesturing at Jim’s leaking cock.

Jim hung his head, trying to hide his burning cheeks. "Yeah..." he muttered. "I did some stuff. With Paul. Just to try it. To see what I liked."

"With Paul?" Sebastian actually sounded shocked now. "As in... My best friend, Paul?"

Cringing, Jim nodded. "I'm sorry. We were just fooling around. It wasn't supposed to go further than a few taps of this and that. But he's really very good. You know he is."

"Yes..." Sebastian sighed. "If only you had told me. If only I didn't have to find out like this. But you really can't help yourself, can you?" He stepped aside to pick something from a side table. "You can't handle your own greed."

"I try..." Jim bit his lip as tears spilled from his eyes. "I just keep finding myself in these stupid situations where I can tell somebody wants me and it feels so good and..." He sniffed. "It's no excuse. I know that. Just... do whatever you want. I deserve it. All of it."

“Oh, I know you do.” Sebastian’s hand smacked the already-burning skin of Jim’s bum. “But if you’re so greedy, let’s do something about that first. Get back on your knees.” He pushed between Jim’s shoulder blades and then, once Jim was straddling the bench again, the cap of a lube bottle clicked and Sebastian started pushing something big between Jim’s arse cheeks.

Jim gasped at the sensation. "What is that?" After a moment he whined. "No, stop... That's too big. I can't take that."

"You'll have to. If you can take all those other guys, you can take this too."

Jim’s laugh sounded more than a little hysterical. “I didn’t take them all at the same time... Ow! That really hurts!”

Sebastian paused, not taking the toy away, but simply keeping it in place without applying any pressure.

Panting with relief, Jim somehow managed to relax. When Sebastian didn’t start pushing again, he took a deep breath and pressed back, groaning as the giant plug slipped a little further inside him.

Sebastian snorted. "So fucking greedy. Even now, you can’t hide how needy you really are."

“Shut up,” Jim spat, hissing as he was stretched beyond anything he’d felt before. “You wanted this thing inside me, right?” He huffed and tried arching his back to relieve some of the pressure.

"What did you just say to me?" Sebastian tugged the plug back.

"Fucking hell!" Jim roared, twisting to glare up at Sebastian. "Make up your mind!" At a stern look, he managed to control himself and looked abashed. "I'm sorry. It's not easy taking that thing but I really want to do it. For you." He settled down again. "I'll be good. I promise."

"I'd hope so," Sebastian said, pressing the plug back in. "You don't want me to start whipping you again, do you?"

"Well..." Jim managed a cheeky glance but then he was back to whining and squirming as he tried to accept the increasing intrusion. "Maybe later?"

"You know I'll keep you to it." Sebastian sounded more amused than angry now.

Jim's dignity was probably more bruised than his bottom by the time the plug was in place. There had been a lot of pleading and crying and a fair bit of cursing that had undoubtedly earned him even more of whatever Sebastian had in store for him next.

"I'm impressed," Sebastian said, walking around Jim to admire the sight from all angles. "No wonder you need to do all those guys if you can take this much. But that doesn't mean I've forgiven you."

Jim looked up at him, his eyes red from crying. "I know. I don't expect you to forgive me. Just... don't hate me?"

Sebastian unbuckled his belt and pulled it out of his jeans with a snap, making Jim flinch before he dropped it to the floor. Then he pushed down his trousers and pants and kicked them to the side.

Jim didn't take his eyes off him, but relaxed a little.

"I don't hate you," Sebastian said. "You're mine. Now get on your knees." He was actually quite gentle as he helped Jim move off the bench to kneel, facing Sebastian who sat down on it, his legs wide.

Jim licked his lips expectantly and looked up at Sebastian. “May I?”

"No. You must." Sebastian smirked.

With a grateful moan, Jim surged forward to catch Sebastian’s cock between his lips, sucking eagerly.

Sebastian started fucking his mouth right away, not holding back.

It was not easy getting comfortable with the giant plug inside him and Jim squirmed and shifted until he found the right angle. He closed his eyes and sucked hard, wanting to make it as good for Sebastian as he possibly could.

Sebastian’s moans grew louder and louder, but suddenly he tangled his hand in Jim's hair and pulled his head back.

"That's enough. Is there anything more you need to confess?"

“I... I...” Jim didn’t think he could take much more but this was his only chance. He needed to tell Sebastian the truth. All of it. “Just... just one more guy. You don’t know him... But... I brought him home. Had him in my bed...”

Sebastian raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

“Yes.” Jim looked away. “We were fighting. You and me. Sort of. I was upset.”

“That’s enough. I can’t hear any more of this.” Sebastian stepped aside to grab something and then pushed a ball gag into Jim’s mouth. “I can’t believe you.”

Jim hoped his eyes conveyed how sorry he was and how much he liked where this was going. His part in this was done. It was all up to Sebastian now.

“Over my lap,” Sebastian ordered as he sat down on the bench again. When Jim complied, he started working the toy out.

The plug hurt as much coming out as it did going in, but at least it went a lot faster. But it left Jim feeling empty and, for some reason, sad.

"It's a wonder it's not always as open and inviting as it is now," Sebastian commented, rubbing his arse cheek. "To show what you're really like."

Jim whined around the gag. If only he always could feel like this, maybe he wouldn’t...

He tried wriggling a little to show Sebastian that he agreed.

"Still," Sebastian snapped, smacking his hand against Jim's sore arse.

Jim grunted and obeyed.

"Good Kitten," Sebastian said. "I almost wish I didn't have a reason to punish you more." He gave Jim five more smacks in rapid succession and then paused.

Jim squirmed a little and moaned, trying to let Sebastian know that it was okay to continue.

He bore it for as long as he could. But the constant stimulation soon made him painfully hard and eventually he could no longer fight the urge to seek friction by rutting against Sebastian’s thigh. If it weren’t for the gag, he would have begged to be fucked.

"Now, Kitten," Sebastian said when he finally stopped spanking him, having ignored Jim's keening sounds around the gag for what felt like an eternity. "There is of course one more thing I need to do. One more thing to make you remember you're mine."

He threw a couple of pillows on the floor and put Jim on them, then lined up behind him.

Jim didn’t hold out for long, but Sebastian didn’t scold him for it. Instead he kept pounding into him until he reached his own orgasm, and then lowered them both to the floor, holding Jim tight.

“I can’t believe we got through the entire script,” Sebastian panted. “I thought we were just going to try two or three things. But you were amazing…”

“You too,” Jim gasped. “That was fucking incredible.”

"Yeah..." Sebastian gave him a soft kiss. "Are you okay?"

“Better than okay,” Jim purred. The relief of having told Sebastian everything, sort of, combined with the rush of finally getting the full punishment for his mistakes was so much better than he had dared hope. Maybe things were actually going to be okay.

Sebastian beamed. "Thank you, Kitten. Now let's get you cleaned up, hmm?"

He slowly sat up and got to his feet, and then lifted Jim in his arms and carried him to a door at the back of the dungeon.

Jim only vaguely registered Sebastian supporting him in the shower, gently cleaning him with some kind of soft sponge. Then he was wrapped in a large towel and allowed to rest his head against something warm.

Next thing he registered, he was lying on a large bed, burritoed in blankets with Sebastian next to him, stroking his hair and muttering praise about how well Jim had done and how proud he was.

Jim wanted to answer, but making words seemed too hard, so he just smiled up at him.

Sebastian kissed him softly and then reached over to take a tube from the bedside table. "Can I look at you? Put some cream on the bruises?"

“Will I have to move?” Jim muttered.

"Of course not." Sebastian smiled. "I'll just have to move those blankets."

“I don’t wanna be cold,” Jim whined, snuggling down further.

"I won't let you get cold," Sebastian promised. "But I also don't want you to be in pain tomorrow." He gently tugged on the top blanket.

“I don’t mind,” Jim huffed, but shifted a little to help ease the blankets off him.

"But I do." Sebastian softly stroked his cheek. "Angelo's party is tomorrow night and I don't want to leave you alone if you're hurting."

Jim had happily forgotten all about the party. It would be kinda nice to have an evening to himself. To recover and think. Well, maybe not think. That always got him in trouble.

Maybe if he hadn’t been thinking so much, he’d still be happy with Sebastian. He wouldn't have screwed everything up so badly that his only way out was to make Sebastian beat him up on film.

Tonight hadn’t been so bad, but that had only been a rehearsal. Still not convinced that Jim could handle the pain, Sebastian had been holding back. Hopefully Jim’s performance had been enough to assure him that it was safe to go all the way when it counted.

That was what really mattered. Making sure that Sebastian would come through for him. That the film would be so intense and unique that his name alone would open all the doors of the industry.

Keeping Sebastian happy until then shouldn’t be too hard. Lots of blowjobs and pretending to listen. And doing stuff he liked...

Jim sighed. “I’ll come too,” he said. “To the stupid party. So you won’t have to worry about me.”

"Hey, you don't have to," Sebastian said, opening the tube of cream. "You made it clear you don't want to. I'll make sure you're in good shape by then!" He started gently rubbing the cream into Jim's shoulders.

“I want to go with you,” Jim said, closing his eyes. “You and I met there. Had our first kiss there. Hell, I think we might have fucked more in that place than in both our flats combined.” He laughed before hissing as Sebastian’s hands reached a sore spot. “May... maybe we can even sneak off for a shag in Angelo’s office. Must be the only room we haven’t done it in.”

Sebastian chuckled. "Deal!"

…

Jim closed his eyes and, without waiting for Patrick to answer, continued: "I'm so sorry… It's just, everything's a real mess right now and I need time. To think and to sort it all out. Please don't be mad at me."

After a long pause, he could hear Patrick sigh. "It's okay, James," he said. "I'm not mad at you. Just sad, I guess. I really thought we had something, but..."

"We did!" Jim cut in. "I mean, we do. I hope we do. But this other thing wasn't as over as I wanted it to be and it's not fair to you that I can't give you the attention you deserve right now. But if you want to... I really really hope that we can get together again when this is over. See what happens."

Another pause, then: "I'd like that, James. I'd like that very much. Just..."

Jim waited for him to continue, hoping that he'd be able to keep this option open for after the movie. But he couldn't risk carrying on until then. Not just for fear of Sebastian finding out, but because of what it did to him. How it messed with his head. He needed to focus on what was important. Just a little longer.

"Be careful, James," Patrick said.

"What do you mean?"

"That ex of yours. You haven't really told me anything about him, but it's just the way you look when you've been with him. I don't think he's good for you, James."

Jim sighed. "It's fine... We're over. We really are."

"And yet I know he'll be back in your bed soon. Probably tonight. You are too kind, James. Too sweet for your own good. You need to learn how to say no. Before you get hurt."

Jim felt something sting at the corners of his eyes. "I can take care of myself, Patrick. I promise."

"I know you can, James." The warmth in Patrick's voice made Jim's breath hitch in his throat. "Be a good boy for me.”

Chapter Text

The place was packed. Jim thought that the studio had been crowded for the Christmas party, but this was ridiculous. Apparently everybody who'd ever worked for or with Angelo in any capacity had decided to show up. As well as many of their friends, people from other studios and a large group of what, judging from the way they were gawking and whispering about the actors, were little more than eager fans who had somehow gotten themselves invited.

As Sebastian led him over to the bar that had been put up, Jim spotted Tony near the stairs and quickly looked away when he tried to catch his eyes. He'd really been a dick to Tony, but he just couldn't deal with that right now. Before yesterday, Jim would probably have been planning to get Tony by himself for another go, but he couldn't risk the good place he and Sebastian were in. Not yet, anyway.

Maybe, when the film was done, Jim mused, Tony could even be useful in ending things with Sebastian. Surely he'd get the message and get lost if he walked in on Jim bending one of their friends over their own dining table. He giggled at the thought and wondered if Seb would hang around for one last punishment or just storm out.

Richard was, thankfully, nowhere in sight. He'd seemed as keen on the whole cheating idea as Jim, but he was also a bit of a wild card, and Jim couldn't be certain that he wouldn't start some kind of shit to try and get between him and Sebastian.

Sebastian tightened his arm a little around Jim’s shoulders to get his attention. “See those two guys there?” he said, pointing with his chin. “They’ve been staring at us for five minutes straight. Should we go say something? Tell them we’re not quitting?”

Jim didn't bother being discreet about checking them out. When the taller of the two, a pretty redhead, blushed, he even winked at him. "Sure," he said to Sebastian. "Gotta let our faithful fans know to keep an eye out for our work."

When the shorter of the two, who wore a rather wispy brown beard, saw them approach, he actually moved back and forth on his feet in excitement. "Oh my god, Larry," he squeaked. "It's actually them!"

Sebastian chuckled. "Hi. Guess we don't have to introduce ourselves, then?"

"No..." Larry said, wringing his hands. "We know who you are. We've watched all your movies. Many times!"

Jim giggled and offered him his hand. "Nice to meet you, Larry."

Larry seemed almost afraid for a second but then took Jim's hand, shaking it eagerly.

"I'm Harold," the other guy said, shaking hands with Sebastian. "Nice to meet you indeed! Billy invited us and we hoped we'd run into some stars, but we'd never thought it would be you guys!"

“I don’t know if I’d consider myself a star...” Jim began modestly but was cut off.

“Are you kidding?” Larry cried. “You guys are the hottest thing out there! We both bought tails and ears after watching Kitten. And all that rope stuff...” He squirmed a little. “Is it true you did a foursome? When will it be out?”

"I don't know the exact date, but it won't be long now," Sebastian said with a smile. "Maybe we could give you guys a preview..."

"Really?" Harold's eyes went comically wide. "Where can we watch it?"

Sebastian sent Jim a smirk. "In Angelo's office?"

It took Jim just a second to catch on. He grinned. “Oh yeah. A very special preview. For your eyes only.”

Larry looked like he might faint.

Sebastian glanced over at Angelo, who was still surrounded by a throng of people with gifts and glasses of champagne, and then grabbed Harold's hand. "Come along."

Jim had to actually push Larry into action, but soon they were all scrambling up the stairs, ignoring the questioning and knowing looks they were getting. Jim made a quick detour into a small stockroom to grab a handful of condoms and some lube before joining the others, locking the door behind him.

“So,” he said, stepping closer to Harold. “If you’re a real fan, I bet you’ve had all sorts of fantasies about us.”

Harold shivered. "I... I... Yes..."

"Well, why don't you tell us about them?" Sebastian prompted. "What if it inspires our next movie? Or... if you can actually live it?"

Harold whimpered, blushing fiercely.

“Can we see you kiss?” Larry blurted.

Sebastian chuckled. "Well, Jim... What do you think? Can they?"

Rather than answer, Jim pulled Sebastian close and kissed him deeply, making sure to angle their heads so the guys could see everything. There was some gasping and a soft curse, but neither of them moved.

“Surely that’s not all you want,” Jim purred when he broke the kiss.

"Can... Can we kiss you?" Harold asked a little breathlessly. "Either of you?"

Jim almost glanced at Sebastian for permission, but stopped himself. Sebastian had been the one to suggest this, so surely he’d intended for them to have some actual fun together.

Jim gestured for Harold to come closer. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

"Oh, fuck. I may melt as soon as you touch me..." Harold put an awkward hand on Jim's shoulder and leaned in for a brief touch of lips.

Jim obliged him at first but then, grabbing hold of Harold's shirt, pulled him in for a deep, hungry kiss.

Larry let out a very shaky moan. "Fuck..." he whispered. "That's so hot..."

"You don't have to just watch," Sebastian said, sounding amused as he stepped closer to Larry.

"Oh, I..." Larry looked back and forth between them. "I do kind of like to watch, but..." He licked his lips, looking nervously up at Sebastian. "I just... Are you like... Y'know... Like in the movies...?"

Jim barely repressed a snort but did pull back from Harold long enough to say: "He is. But don't worry. He won't bite without permission." Then he dove back in. Feeling Harold fall apart from nothing but Jim's tongue in his mouth was quite a rush.

"Come here," Sebastian said, cupping Larry's face for a gentle kiss.

Giggling, Jim closed his eyes and focused on Harold for a bit before gently pushing him back. "So... Was that as good as you imagined?"

"Better!" Harold panted. "I'm going to dream about this and wake up hard for weeks..."

"Just weeks?" Sebastian asked. "We should turn that into months, don't you think, Jim?"

“I think we can do that,” Jim said, running his fingers through Harold’s hair before resting his hands on his shoulders. “Want to show me what else your mouth is good for?”

“I do!” Larry cut in, nudging Harold to the side and dropping to his knees. “Please let me show you.”

Harold side-eyed Sebastian nervously before looking back at Jim. "Could we... both...?"

Sebastian chuckled. "Or I could show you what my mouth is good for, Harold."

Harold froze and stared at him. "You're kidding me. Would you... really?"

Jim felt an odd little twinge in his stomach, but hid it in a grin as he opened his jeans. “I must admit that having you both on your knees for me would be fulfilling one of my fantasies.” He reached for Sebastian. “Don’t worry, honey. I’ll keep your mouth busy.”

Sebastian smirked and handed him a condom. "I'm counting on it."

Jim freed his cock, pretending not to notice the sounds Harold and Larry were making, gave it a few strokes and then rolled the condom on. “Impress me, boys,” he said before pulling Sebastian to his side and kissing him hard.

At first he just felt some tentative touches, but finally one of them worked up the nerve to actually take Jim into his mouth and start sucking. He didn’t take him very deep, though, and Jim knew better than to thrust forward, so instead he focused on the delightful way Sebastian’s tongue was claiming his mouth.

The mouth on his cock was pulled away and replaced by another that took him deeper but with absolutely zero tongue action. Whoever it was began bobbing his head fast and if Jim hadn’t been determined to give these guys an experience worth talking about, he’d probably have told him to stop. But then there was a change again and this time they found a way to cooperate. One set of lips sucking on the head, another nibbling up and down the shaft, using tongue and teeth to tease him.

Jim groaned into Sebastian’s mouth and then moved his hand down the back of his loosened jeans.

Sebastian smiled, but there was a hint of worry in his eyes. Still, he stepped away for a moment to grab a tube of lube and then slowly pulled Jim's jeans further down, pinning his legs in place.

As Sebastian slipped a finger inside him, Jim almost cried out from the mixed pleasure and pain, but managed to turn it into a desperate groan, muffled as their lips crashed together again. Harold and Larry must have thought he was reacting to their ministrations, because both increased their efforts, now taking turns to suck him in as deep as they could, one of them going a bit too far judging by the gagging sound.

Jim was finding it harder to keep still as Sebastian began thrusting two well-lubed fingers into him, hitting him just right.

“Fuck...!” Jim gasped when he couldn’t bear it anymore. “You guys are too good at this.” He looked down just in time to see Harold sucking in half his length while Larry dove down to lick his balls, and then Sebastian hit his prostate, making him come with a strangled yelp.

Sebastian kept kissing him as the two backed off, giving each other dazed looks.

"I don't think I’m ever going to go soft again," Harold whispered.

“I hope not,” Larry panted. “Because I’m going to need someone to fuck me senseless tonight.”

Jim ignored them and clung to Sebastian for a bit longer before pulling back with a mischievous grin. “I’m sorry... I couldn’t help myself.” He winked at Sebastian.

Sebastian's smile remained soft for a moment, but then he caught on and withdrew his fingers. "Really, Kitten... We've talked about this." He shook his head, acting disappointed.

There was a double gasp beside them and someone, probably Larry, whispered an awed: “Kitten...?”

Jim giggled and bit his lip. “Whoops?” He squirmed as if trying to hide his softening cock from Sebastian.

"I know, I know, you can't help yourself," Sebastian said. "But I'll have to show both you and them that you're mine. Always mine."

“All yours,” Jim agreed, deftly disposing of the used condom. He glanced down at the two men on the floor who were both gaping at them. “I’m so sorry about this,” he told them. “Sebastian can be a bit... possessive.”

"But... He just suggested..." Harold started, but Larry elbowed him in the ribs.

"On the desk," Sebastian growled at Jim.

Jim made a show of scrambling to obey, arching his back just right as he bent over. Turning his face towards their audience, he closed his eyes and tried to picture Angelo’s reaction if he saw them.

Sebastian ripped another condom packet open with his teeth and when he'd rolled it on, Jim heard him pumping the lube bottle several times. Then he leaned over Jim and sank in at once.

"Tell them," he hissed. "Tell them what a bad boy you are."

“I’m sorry!” Jim cried. “I’m a dirty slut! I cannot help myself!” He pushed back against Sebastian. “You’re so good to me and still I fail you. Again and... again and... again.” Each hard thrust made him whimper. His arse was still sore from the beatings, his hole raw from the plug and the sex, but this... Being caught and immediately punished, even if it was just an act, was worth every twinge and burn. And being watched as he humiliated himself so completely... If he hadn’t just come, he’d have made a mess of Angelo’s desk.

Harold and Larry were both making small, needy sounds while Sebastian kept fucking Jim hard. When Sebastian was about to come he pulled out and apparently got rid of the condom, thoroughly marking Jim's backside.

Mildly annoyed at the mess he now had to deal with, Jim opened one eye and saw Harold, palming himself through his trousers, and Larry, shifting and rocking from side to side.

He cracked a smile. “You guys need a hand?”

Harold whimpered. "Oh, please..."

"Let me get you cleaned up first," Sebastian offered.

Jim gestured for Harold to approach. “I can jerk him off from here,” he said, staying down on the desk. “Besides, there’ll be more cleaning needed in a moment. Why don’t you take care of Larry instead?”

Sebastian chuckled. "Alright." He went over to Larry, who squeaked and almost jumped back. But then he seemed to pull himself together and nodded eagerly.

Neither of them lasted for more than a few touches, and Harold's knees actually gave out when he came.

Cleaning up took a bit longer, but Jim wasn’t too worried about leaving stains on the desk or floor. Angelo had already cleared out his things and probably wouldn’t be returning after tonight. While Harold and Larry were fixing their clothes, Jim slipped closer to Sebastian and whispered: “That was fun. Let’s do it again. Later.”

"So I'll have to punish you all over again?" Sebastian grinned.

“Would you mind?”

Sebastian's eyes gleamed impishly. "Never."

“Then we’re doing it again as soon as you’re ready.” Jim pulled him down for a quick but deep kiss.

When they pulled apart, Harold and Larry were staring at them again, flushed and starry-eyed. Larry cleared his throat. “Do you guys wanna... get a drink or something?”

Jim snorted.

Sebastian playfully smacked his bum. "Behave." Then he turned to the other two. "That's actually a great idea. I've gotten thirsty, haven't you, Jim?"

Rubbing his sore arse, Jim nodded. “Drinks sound good.”

As they reached the stairs, Jim remembered the pile of condoms he had left in Angelo's chair. "Go ahead without me," he called to the others and doubled back. They might need them later. The light in the corridor was dim and he almost crashed into the dark figure appearing before him. "Christ!" he gasped, laughing. "You startled me..."

"Oh?" Sherlock's calm voice made Jim's whole body tense up. "Did you think you'd gotten rid of me completely?"

Feeling panic rising in his chest, Jim looked back over his shoulder, only to see Sebastian and the others disappearing from view.

He caught a few words, sounding like "...get off with anybody he wants...", but then felt Sherlock stepping closer and turned back to look up at him.

"Wh... What do you want?" he squeaked.

Sherlock was quiet for a moment, considering. Jim still couldn't make his face out properly, but his eyes were sparkling with an unearthly glow.

"What do I want? I want what you stole from me. I want my career back." He took another step forward, but Jim fought the urge to retreat.

"I didn't take anything from you!" he snapped. "If your career is suffering, it's because you're such a dick. And not in the good way."

How was it that Sherlock's voice could still make him tremble? Why was this man, this freak, not out of his system yet?

"Don't lie to me, Moriarty." The way Sherlock spat out his name made Jim flinch. "I know what you did. I'm disgusted with myself that I didn't see it sooner, but I've wised up. You're not fooling me anymore."

"Me fooling you?" Jim huffed and stood his ground. "How dare you say that after what you did? You used me!"

"We used each other," Sherlock retorted. "Admit it, James. You just wanted part in my fame. You hoped my success would rub off on you. Why you thought you'd have to sleep with me to get that, I will never know, but I will always regret obliging you."

"I slept with you because I fancied you!" Jim cried. "And I thought you liked me too!"

"Bollocks! You never 'fancied' anyone, James. You've never liked anyone but yourself. Quite frankly, I doubt you're even capable of it. I mean, all that fuss about you and Sebastian being sooo close and all that time..."

"I hate you!" Jim launched himself at Sherlock and would probably have tried clawing his eyes out if Sherlock hadn't dodged and pushed him away. He turned to attack again, but then they both tensed, hearing footsteps coming up the stairs.

"I'm not done with you!" Sherlock said, before disappearing into a nearby office.

"I'll get you!" Jim hissed after him. "If you breathe a word to anyone, I'll destroy you!"

Jim barely made it to the bathroom before throwing up. His head was spinning and he could hardly breathe. How did Sherlock know? What did Sherlock know? Was it Tony? Richard? Was everybody talking about it? Did they all know?

As he sank down against the wall, hiding his head in his arms and sobbing, he thought back to how they had been greeted when they arrived. People had seemed pleased to see them. Friendly. There had been no furtive glances, no covered whispers. If the rumours were already buzzing, surely he would have sensed it.

Maybe this was just one more of Sherlock's freaky 'deductions'. He had done it a couple of times when they were working together. Figuring out stuff about the crew or other actors without anyone actually telling him. Maybe he didn't know anything specific. Maybe he had just been guessing.

Either way, Jim didn't feel like hanging around. And he had to get Sebastian out of here too, before Sherlock got to him.

After cleaning himself up, Jim put on his best eager grin and ventured back out into the throng, searching for Sebastian.

"Jim!" Sebastian beamed as he saw him. "So, who should we pick next?"

"A cab?" Jim asked with a shrug. "It's been great and all, but I'm feeling a bit funned out." He leaned closer. "I'm getting pretty sore. I guess we should have waited a little longer, but it was worth it."

Sebastian frowned. "You do look a little pale. But... We didn't even say hi to Angelo yet..."

Jim almost whined that he didn't want to, but knowing it would be easier to just comply, he scanned the room. "He's over there," he said, pointing.

Angelo saw him and waved enthusiastically, clearly already well on his way to drunk. "Jimmy! Jimmy, come here, my boy!"

Pulling Sebastian along, Jim pushed his way through the crowd. "Angelo!" he called. "So... This is really it, huh?"

"Yes!" Angelo laughed. "I'm going to miss you all so much. But know there's always room at my table for you guys!" Then he frowned. "To eat. Just to eat. You hear that?"

Sebastian chuckled. "Understood. You're lucky we can easily be bought with free food."

Angelo poked a finger in Sebastian's chest. "You take good care of this boy, you hear me? He's a gem. A true gem." His eyes filled with tears. "Oh Jimmy... Can we have a minute, Sebastian? I need to talk to Jimmy."

Jim frowned but let himself be led off to the side. "What's up, Angelo?" he asked. "You didn't change your mind, did you? About selling to us?"

Angelo's gaze softened. "My offer for the equipment still stands. But be quick, Jimmy. I'll be talking to more people tonight and if someone suggests a better price, I won't be able to say no."

Jim sighed. "I know, Angelo, I know. I'm talking to some banks, and we've got a project in the works. A bit of a rush-job, but with huge potential. Just give us a couple of weeks."

"Oh, my boy. You're really doing this." Angelo wiped away a tear. "You've come so far, Jimmy. Fond as I am of Sherlock, I'm glad you two realised you weren't right for each other. I may not always have supported your and Sebastian's plans, but... At least I know the big guy won't fail to you. He'll be there when it matters."

Jim almost flinched, but forced himself to smile and nod. “Sebastian is amazing,” he agreed. “I’m very lucky.”

"Yes." Angelo clapped a hand on Jim's shoulder. "I hope Sherlock will find that kind of luck too. You both deserve it."

Deciding to keep his opinion to himself, Jim patted Angelo’s arm. “You too. I really hope your restaurant will be a success.”

"Thank you, Jimmy." Angelo pulled him into a stifling bear hug.

Jim was saved coming up with more pleasantries by a sudden call for everyone to make it to one of the smaller stages where a compilation of Angelo’s greatest triumphs would premiere in a few minutes.

Knowing there’d be a lot of Sherlock’s work in there, and probably some of the stuff they’d done together, Jim fought against the current to get back to Sebastian. He passed Richard on the way, but thankfully he didn’t try to speak to Jim or even catch his eyes.

Sebastian was looking rather grim when Jim reached him. "So... A cab," he just stated, taking Jim's hand and all but dragging him out.

Jim stumbled after him, relieved that he wasn’t the only one in that place not eager to go fawn over old shots of Sherlock and him. There was a particular one he was desperate to avoid. One that was certain to be in there, since everybody was always talking about how hot, how beautiful, how believable it was. That brief glimpse, on the train, where the camera shifted from Sherlock pushing into him to Jim’s face, catching the widening of his eyes as he gasped in surprise/pleasure/pain.

If Jim never heard another person praise the acting skill evident in that scene, it would be too soon.

And Sherlock had known. How could he not have known? Being so observant? He had known what Jim was from the second he walked through the door to the studio. That was why he’d latched onto him immediately. Why he’d used him.

Sherlock had used him, not the other way around. What a load of bollocks. Sure, Jim had been a little starstruck around Sherlock. Had wanted to work with him and learn from him.

But that was not why he had slept with him. Been with him. They had been flirting since their first film had wrapped. Nothing serious, it was just a bit of fun. And it did wonders for their on-screen chemistry. He had been taken completely off guard when Sherlock had made his move. And incredibly flattered. Nobody else had, as far as Jim knew, gotten this close to the brilliant actor. Nobody he knew had ever truly had him.

Jim had revelled in the attention. The closeness. They were such a perfect match. Their minds, their talent, their looks. Together they’d be unstoppable.

When Sherlock declared his love for Jim, while rhapsodising about a particularly clever scene in his stupid movie, Jim had finally let himself believe he could have it all.

He had been an idiot. But had he been... had he been in love? With Sherlock? Or with the future he imagined for them? Could Sherlock have been right? Had he, without realising it, been using Sherlock too?

Just like he was now using Sebastian. Exactly like what Sherlock had done to him: keeping him trapped with sex and fake promises just so he could finish a bloody film. To further his career.

Jim felt shame and anger well up inside him. He really was no better than that selfish prick.

Not until the cab stopped outside his building did Jim realise that they had gone the whole ride without either of them speaking. It wasn't like Sebastian to remain silent for so long. Especially not when Jim had just been faced with something that reminded him of Sherlock. Usually Sebastian would be intent on making sure that Jim was okay. Or cursing about how horrible Sherlock was. But tonight he just stared out the window, seemingly as lost in thoughts as Jim had been.

"Hey," he said, nudging Sebastian gently. "We're home."

"Right." Sebastian shifted and as he looked at Jim, his expression was endlessly sad.

Trying to shake off the sudden sharp ache in his chest, Jim forced a smile and reached out to stroke Sebastian's cheek. "Hey, Tiger. What's wrong?"

Sebastian hesitated, but then looked away. "Nothing. I think... I think we're both tired. We should sleep, and we can talk later. Okay?"

"Okay," Jim echoed, giving Sebastian's hand a squeeze before getting out of the cab. "I sure am exhausted."

Chapter Text

Jim got very little sleep that night, his thoughts bouncing back and forth between the doubts Sherlock had instilled in him and concern about Sebastian’s odd behaviour. Whatever had gotten him so upset and why wouldn't he talk about it?

At first Jim feared that he had, after all, found out about his cheating, but then he dismissed it. Sebastian would be furious if he knew. Not sad. So it had to be something else. Something that could have happened in those few minutes that Jim had been talking to Angelo.

Whatever it was, he was going to make Sebastian tell him. He was going to make them breakfast and lots of coffee and then he was going to sit Sebastian down and not let him get up before he'd told Jim what was going on with him.

Just as Jim was putting the kettle on, his phone buzzed.

Five minutes later, he was shaking Sebastian awake. "Seb!" he cried. "He called! Frank! That camera guy I was telling you about! For our Dungeon film. He says he's in. He'll meet with us to look at the room! Today! Get up!"

Sebastian groaned. "I'm not even sure we can get the dungeon today... It's Saturday..."

“It’s early,” Jim pointed out. “Surely it won’t be used before lunch, right? Even deviants like to sleep in.”

"If it's already cleaned up..." Sebastian rubbed his eyes and sat up. "I'd better call before we go there."

“You do that.” Jim jumped off the bed. “I’ll go update the script. You gave me so many ideas the other day.”

Sebastian smirked. "I bet I did."

…

Frank immediately approved the dungeon but had some ideas for moving some of the larger pieces around to get better light and angles. While Sebastian checked with the manager if they were allowed to move stuff about, Jim went over the changes in the script.

"That's some pretty intense stuff," Frank said, frowning at Jim. "Are you guys sure you can handle this?"

Jim nodded eagerly. "We've already tried all of it. Right here actually, so we're both familiar with the place and all. It'll be perfectly safe."

"And very, very hot." Frank grinned. "I'm looking forward to working with you guys." He winked at Jim, who felt himself blushing and was finding it hard not to squirm at the attention.  Thankfully, he was saved by Sebastian's return.

They were shooting this thing in four days. Surely he could keep his pants on until then. There was no way he was messing this up now. Once the film had wrapped and he'd got Sebastian to move back to his own flat, Jim could get himself well and truly fucked. He could spend a week, a month on his back letting them all have a go at him. But not before then.

He could do this. He could wait…

…

Even if Jim had wanted to get laid, there wasn't much opportunity. Now that the date was set, there was so much to do. Even though the dungeon had seemed like the perfect setting, a lot of changes had to be made to make it work on camera. Lights were put up, stuff moved about and one of the walls even got a fresh coat of paint. Sebastian was in charge of that, assisted by a group of his friends, including Pete, which was only part of the reason why Jim stayed away as much as possible. He was revising and fixing the script over and over again, doing research on various forums online and even chatting with a couple of veteran Doms from around the world, trying to create the perfect fantasy.

There was also the question of wardrobe. Sebastian had some pretty daunting fetish-clothes, but Jim didn't want it to seem too cliché. And it needed to fit under normal clothes if they were doing the opening scene in the bar above. Jim himself was going for completely neutral. No collars or straps, not leather or latex. Just a regular guy finding himself in a very irregular but deserved predicament.

The fabric itself couldn't be too strong or Sebastian would have trouble cutting it, but it mustn't be torn too easily or it would ruin the tension of the scene.

Jim ended up buying several different t-shirts and cutting them up at home. As for his jeans, he couldn't afford doing that, so they would just have to hope that the thin ones he got cheap would do the trick.

Last but not least, all the toys and tools had to be selected, tested and placed carefully so they'd be at hand when Sebastian would need them.

Everything had to be perfect. Nothing could go wrong with this film.

...

“Turn the fucking camera back on!”

“Jim, I'm hurting you.”

“Yeah…” Jim was thrashing and tugging at the chains holding him up. “That’s kinda the whole point!” He clenched his teeth and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. “Can we please just do this? Now?”

“Not like this.” Sebastian shook his head. “The way you screamed… I can't do this to you.”

Jim glared at him, but it was Frank who spoke.

“He’s right,” he said, gesturing at the shallow cut on Jim’s hip. “The blood is starting to bead. If we don’t move on now, it’s going to show no matter how I edit it. Once it starts running it’s over. So if you’re gonna do this, you gotta do it now.”

“I can't. Not when Jim isn't okay,” Sebastian said.

“Fuck you! You don’t get to decide if I’m okay or not.” Jim gritted his teeth.

“He’s fine, Sebastian,” Frank insisted. “We talked it all through, remember? Jim suggested this.” He gestured at the knife in Sebastian’s hand. “Because you already did the hot wax in another film and this is going to look even better. And Jim swore he’d use your word if it was too much. He hasn’t used it. He’s fine. Trust him, Sebastian.” Frank raised the camera again.

Sebastian picked up the knife, but still looked hesitant as he met Jim's eyes.

Jim let out a shuddering breath, managed a quick smile and nod and then gave in to the pain as Sebastian made the second cut.

…

“Now everyone can see you're mine,” Sebastian growled as the M was finished and he ran his fingers along the thin lines.

Jim was supposed to agree with this. To look Sebastian in the eyes and beg forgiveness.

Easy.

Except he couldn’t get his head up and when he opened his mouth, all that came out was a broken sob. He frowned and shook his head, causing a violent shiver to spread through his entire body, making the chains rattle. The pain hadn't been as bad as he had expected. Not really. The beating that had gone before the cutting had been a lot worse. Sure, he'd tried that before, but never like this. Though both Pete and Sebastian had let him really feel the impact and sting of the tools, neither had carried on that long.

Frank needed to have choices when he edited the film. He needed multiple shots of each stage of the scene. So Sebastian had kept on going, encouraged by looks from Jim when he could get away with it and muttered praise from Frank.

The movie was going to be spectacular. It was all going to be worth it. As Jim lost count of the times he had been on the brink of calling it off, he kept reminding himself of that. It would all be over soon and then he could move on. On from Sebastian, on from Angelo, on from Sherlock's shadow. This was the end of all that shit and the beginning of his new life.

He found that giving in to the pain made it easier to bear so he let himself cry and scream. He had even begged. It was part of the script, after all. Part of the fantasy they were creating. Trust Sebastian to be oblivious and nearly ruin the whole thing. After that, Jim had pushed the pain away. Just a tiny bit more. Two shallow cuts and a couple of slaps and then they'd be done. Sebastian would finally take that fucking thing out of his arse and get him off these chains. Jim was exhausted. If it had been an option, he would have liked nothing better than to just curl up and sleep. But the movie was only halfway. And he couldn't even just lie there and let Sebastian handle it. The script called for his eager participation. To show his joy and relief at having earned forgiveness through accepting punishment. What a load of crap! Sure, he'd been getting off on the idea for months, but nothing was worth this. There was nothing sexy about this.

He had been so lost in thought that he had barely noticed the knife breaching his skin. Frank was completely zoomed in now, so Jim's reactions weren't important. There had been plenty of close-ups earlier that could be used here. Not before Sebastian spoke did Jim realise just how far he had withdrawn. Was he even breathing? He must be, because he hadn't passed out. Had he?

Sebastian frowned and leaned over him so he could whisper in his ear without it being visible on camera. “Jim?”

Why was he hesitating? This was the easy bit. A kiss and then sex. Surely Sebastian could manage that. Jim huffed. Or maybe it was a sniff?

Sebastian straightened up. “Cut.”

“No…” Jim whined, finally finding his voice. “Go… Go on…”

“No, Jim,” Sebastian said, lifting Jim’s chin and forcing him to look at him. “Colonel.”

“No!” Jim screamed at him. “You can’t do that! You don’t get to make that choice!”

“Uhm, Jim…” Frank lowered the camera, looking resigned. “That is his choice. It goes both ways, you know.”

Sebastian took the key from the side table and reached up to undo the cuffs.

“No!” Jim yelled again and twisted away, aiming a kick at Sebastian’s knee.

“Calm down, Kitten,” Sebastian snapped, standing even closer, trying to get a hold of him.

“I’ll get help,” Frank gasped, rushing to the door, just as Jim managed to sink his teeth into Sebastian’s arm.

Chapter Text

“Are you sure you don’t want me to do something about that?” Frank asked, pointing at the cut on Jim’s hip. The bleeding had stopped, but the skin around was red and tender.

“It’s fine,” Jim muttered, carefully pulling his sweatpants up. He glanced over to the corner where Pete and some other guy were huddled around Sebastian, urging him to drink some water and let them take care of the bruise on his arm.

“Stop fussing,” Sebastian insisted. “I'm not the one you should worry about. I need to talk to Jim.”

“In a second,” Pete said. “You need to calm down first, Sebastian. Jim is fine. Frank is looking after him.”

“Actually,” Jim said, smiling up at Frank, “I could use some water. Please?”

“Sure thing.”

As soon as Frank’s back was turned and Jim was sure that the others weren’t looking, he slipped out the door and hurried up the stairs to the club, pulling on his hoodie as he dashed for the exit.

…

When his feet hit the cold pavement, Jim realised that he'd run off without his shoes. And his jacket! His phone and wallet were still in there. Still down in the dungeon with Sebastian.

What was he going to do?

He felt tears of frustration sting his eyes but fought them back. Not now. He couldn't do that now. He had to think. Had to get out of here.

Spotting a cab down by the corner, he ran, waving to get the driver's attention before he could pull away.

"Are you okay, kid?" the man asked as Jim threw himself into the backseat. Most of the bruises were hidden under his clothes, but Jim did not doubt he still looked a mess.

"Sort of," he admitted. "At least, I will be if I can get home." He hesitated a moment before continuing, letting the fatigue and frustration seep into his voice, making himself sound pitiful. "I lost my wallet, but if you'll just get me there, I promise my… my boyfriend will pay you."

The cabbie frowned at Jim in the mirror, but then nodded. "Sure thing, kid. Where to?"

…

"James!" Patrick stared at Jim as he stood swaying slightly on his doormat.

"Hey," Jim said sheepishly. "I'm really sorry to ask this of you, but…" He gestured towards the cab parked down by the curb. "I don't have my wallet and… I'll pay you back."

"Of course," Patrick said, lowering the hand he had been raising to Jim's cheek. "Don't move. I'll be right back."

As Patrick hurried down the steps, Jim leaned against the doorframe. Getting out of the cab had been pure agony and he was pretty sure the cuts were bleeding again. But he had made it. To the one place where he could fall apart safely. He hoped.

Patrick's arm was around his shoulder, guiding him gently inside, down a wide corridor and into a large, beautiful sitting room. Everything was white or light grey with a few hints of lavender, making the room feel like a bright summer day. As Patrick eased him down on the soft sofa, Jim tried to protest. He didn't want to mess it up with sweat and blood. But Patrick ignored him and sat down beside him, taking his hands in his.

"James," he said, his voice soft but with a hint of anger underneath. "What happened?"

I lost everything, Jim's mind screamed. The movie is ruined. My career is over. They took everything from me. As the tears finally began spilling from his eyes, he hung his head. "It's over," he muttered.

Safe in Patrick's arms, Jim let himself go to pieces. He sobbed and wailed, screamed and shook, crying like he had never cried before. It lasted an eternity. As long as the nightmare in the dungeon. As long as the panicked cab ride through London. As long as there were tears left in Jim, he cried and cried and cried.

And Patrick just held him. He didn't ask any questions. He didn't offer any words of comfort. He just held Jim and it was enough. It was the anchor that Jim could cling to so he wouldn't get washed away and lose himself.

And when he was spent, when he just lay limply in Patrick's lap, too drained to even care that he was getting tears and snot all over Patrick's expensive suit, he felt a soft hand run through his hair.

"It's okay, James," Patrick whispered. "I'll take care of you now. You're safe here."

Jim didn't protest as Patrick eased him up from the sofa and half carried him to the bathroom. He would have preferred to just sleep, but it made sense to clean up first.

Only when Patrick had pulled off his hoodie and stepped back with a horrified gasp did Jim realise his mistake. His chest and back where covered with welts and marks from the whip and flogger, his neck bruised from a tight collar and his wrists red and raw from the cuffs that had been holding him up.

"Oh my god, James!" Patrick whispered, reaching out but not daring to touch him. "Who did this to you?"

Jim couldn't look at him. He shrugged, wincing at the stretch of his skin.

"Was it him?" Patrick asked. "Your ex? Did he beat you?"

Jim nodded, knowing there would be no way of explaining himself out of this except the truth. At least some of it.

"It’s not as bad as it sounds," he muttered. "It was a… a scene that got out of hand."

"A scene?" Patrick put his hand gently on Jim's shoulder. "As in a movie or… Or as in SM?"

Jim smiled wryly, remembering the jokes he'd made about Sebastian's initials. "Both," he said. "He's into that kind of thing and I… I thought it would make a good movie. Help us raise some cash."

"You let him do this to you for a movie?" Patrick sounded outraged. "Oh James. No film is worth this. If you needed money that bad, you know I would have loved to help you. I mean, I already am, I just didn't know you were this… desperate…"

"I needed money fast." Jim sighed. "But it's not going to happen now. He… I called it off. It was too much."

"Of course it was, honey." Patrick put one arm around Jim and turned him towards the sink to clean his face with a soft cotton washcloth.

Jim closed his eyes and let him work, smiling as he felt Patrick's lips on his cheek. He turned around within his arms to get a proper kiss and for a moment things were blissfully nice. Then, as Patrick moved closer, Jim took half a step back and his hip brushed against the edge of the counter, making him gasp from the sudden pain.

Before Jim could stop him, Patrick had gotten hold of Jim's sweatpants and pulled them down over his hip.

"I'm going to kill him," he growled, staring at the fresh blood that was trickling down from where the scabs had been rubbed off. "He'll regret this."

"No!" Jim cried, taking Patrick's face between his hands and making him look up. "I let him do this. I consented. And… It's not as bad as it looks. Really. He did all kinds of research on how to do it. It won't even leave much of a scar."

Patrick was still fuming but let Jim kiss him. But when he tried to move his hand away from his hip, Patrick pulled away.

"What else are you hiding, James?" he asked, sternly. "Show me everything."

…

Two hours later, Patrick finally led Jim to his bed. He had slathered all the bruises with expensive cream, cleaned and bandaged the cuts and, when he'd seen the stretch of Jim's hole, insisted he take painkillers and then helped relax the abused muscles with gentle, well-lubed fingers. Jim would have loved for Patrick to fuck him at that point, but had known better than to ask. Sebastian might get off on seeing his partner all banged up, but Patrick was only concerned with Jim's comfort. As far as Jim could tell, he never once got hard, even when bringing Jim to a gentle orgasm that left him as relaxed and content as a… a kitten.

Even though it was still early, Patrick undressed and got into bed with Jim, holding him tight as he drifted off. Jim could not remember the last time he felt this safe and cared for.

…

He slept almost through the night, only waking once to use the bathroom. When he returned to bed, Patrick was waiting for him with more pills and a glass of water. They kissed for a while, but when Jim tried to take things further, Patrick stopped him.

"I don't know what that bastard has put you through," he said, starting to tuck Jim in. "But I won't let you try to please me while you're still hurting. Sex and pain should not be mixed, James."

"Even when it sort of feels good?" Jim asked with his most innocent smile.

Patrick chuckled. "Oh, you're a bad boy, aren’t you?" he teased and kissed Jim's nose. "I suppose there can be exceptions, but… That's a conversation for another day, okay?"

Pouting a little, Jim nodded and let Patrick spoon him again.

…

It took a bit of snooping around, but Jim managed to find where Patrick kept his condoms without waking him up. He got back into the bed and then crept under the covers, pressing a few soft kisses to Patrick's chest before latching onto one of his nipples, sucking and licking it gently until he felt him beginning to stir.

"James…?"

Rather than answer, Jim moved on to the other nipple and let his hand start to travel down Patrick's body, pushing away the silk pyjama bottoms. He felt the covers being lifted off his head, but when he let out a protesting whine, Patrick laughed and put them down again, reaching under them to find Jim's cheek and stroke it before moving his hand up to run his fingers through Jim's hair.

"I guess there's no talking sense into you," Patrick mused, shifting to get more comfortable as Jim's fingers continued down to brush over his cock, which was already half hard. Jim hummed his agreement against Patrick's nipple before biting it gently.

"Fine…" Patrick let out a breathy moan, his fingers tightening slightly in Jim's hair. "Have your fun. But if anything starts hurting, tell me."

Jim nodded his head and then proceeded to kiss and lick his way down to where his hand was stroking Patrick, getting him ready. Putting on the condom under the covers was a bit tricky, but Jim managed and with a blissful moan he finally wrapped his lips around Patrick's cock, sucking him in.

He knew he wouldn't get a proper shag until Patrick was convinced he had completely recovered, but he was not planning on staying completely celibate until then. He'd not been with anyone but Sebastian for two weeks and was, quite frankly, getting so horny it was ridiculous.

At first he kept his movements languid, knowing that Patrick would prefer it gentle while he was still barely awake, but after a while, his own cock was throbbing so hard that he couldn't help but squirm and grind against the bed.

To his surprise, Patrick's grip on his hair tightened and his head was pulled up and away.

"That's it," Patrick said, flinging the covers aside. "Get your gorgeous bum to the bathroom and turn on the shower."

The water had just reached the right temperature when Patrick joined him, pushing Jim under the stream and kissing him deeply. After soaping his chest and back, Patrick cleaned Jim's arse gently and then turned him to face the wall, lifting Jim's hands up to brace against it.

"Let me know if this gets uncomfortable," he said, nudging Jim's feet to make him close his legs. He took position behind Jim and, after a bit of manoeuvring, slid his wet, hard cock between Jim's thighs, brushing it against the sensitive skin without getting too close to his hole. Patrick moaned and reached around to stroke Jim’s cock in time with the slow thrust of his hips.

"I know you're desperate for me, honey," he whispered in Jim's ear, "but I will not hurt you. I hope this will help a bit. A little taste of what's to come."

It should have felt ridiculous, Jim mused. So insanely tame considering what he was used to. He was a porn star. He'd been stretched by plugs so large they'd make weaker men faint. He'd been fucked and used by two and even three men at once and he'd handled it all. Loved it.

This was barely a step above wanking each other off, but somehow it worked. Maybe it was the knowledge that if anyone had been watching them, it would look like Patrick was indeed fucking him. Maybe it was the gentle slide against his perineum and occasional brush against his balls. Whatever it was, it felt hot. It made him feel wanted but also fragile. Cared for and taken care of.

He began rolling his hips in time with Patrick's thrusts and they found the perfect rhythm. Jim bent one of his arms against the wall so that he could rest his forehead against it and looked down at where Patrick's hand slid up and down his cock.

Patrick finished first, spilling between Jim's legs, his lips sucking gently on an unbruised patch on Jim's shoulder. When he had recovered, he spun Jim around and held him close as he continued to stroke him until Jim whimpered and came, trembling in Patrick's embrace.

Chapter Text

"So," Patrick began, piling more bacon onto Jim's plate. "This ex of yours… He's also an actor?"

Jim sighed and nodded. "Yeah. We met at work. Have done a couple of films together."

Patrick cocked his head expectantly, but Jim quickly changed the subject with an apologetic shrug. "Those guys you mentioned last time. The possible investors. Have you heard back from them?"

"I have," Patrick said, switching into professional mode as he put down his coffee. "They want to see a business plan. And some numbers from your previous films. I'll help you with that." Jim was about to thank him, but Patrick held up a hand to stop him. "You have to work too," he said. "They will need scripts or at least thorough summaries of five projects that you plan to do within the first year. Can you manage that?"

Jim searched his brain quickly, then nodded. He could spruce up some of the ideas Angelo had rejected and finish that cheating thing he had pitched to Richard.

"Nothing too complicated," Patrick cut in. "I know what you plan to do and it's going to be spectacular, but you have to start out small, James. Nothing longer than half an hour, no more than three actors per scene and no… no complex plots, okay?"

Jim barely resisted glaring at Patrick.

"So just basic, lousy porn?" he huffed. "Like everyone can make?"

"Not everyone," Patrick chided him. "And just because it's simple doesn't have to mean it's bad, does it? Not when you're behind it."

Jim had to fight the urge to preen. "I suppose not, but it's just not what I pictured doing."

"I know, darling." Patrick reached over to take his hand. "But it's just at first, okay? Just to get them on board and get things started. Once you're established we can do things your way. But you have to work up to it."

…

Jim spent a very happy day lounging on the soft sofa being pampered by Patrick, who'd taken the day off to take care of Jim and fed him so many delicious treats that he had to decline dinner.

But while Patrick was fixing himself a sandwich, Jim realised that the dull ache in his stomach was only partially caused by too much chocolate and ice cream.

"Can I borrow your phone?" he asked as Patrick returned, carrying a plate and a glass of wine.

His smile faltering a little, Patrick told Jim he could use the landline in the office and, only limping slightly, Jim made his way to the front of the house.

He sat staring at the phone for several minutes, then punched in one of the few numbers he had memorised.

The phone was answered almost immediately. "Pete here."

"Hi," Jim said and waited a second, half expecting Pete to hang up on him. "It's me. Jim."

"Yeah, so I gather." Pete sounded equal parts relieved and pissed off. "What the hell happened? Where are you?"

"I'm with a friend," Jim said. "I was feeling kinda weird and needed some time to… to get my head sorted."

"The hell you did!" Pete snapped. "Running out on Sebastian like that was a shitty thing to do. Yeah, I know you weren't feeling well after what happened, but neither was he. Honestly, how things ever got so far out of hand I'll never know."

"Nothing was out of hand," Jim snarled, sincerely regretting he'd called. "Everything was going just fine and the movie was gonna look awesome and then suddenly Sebastian decided to chicken out. So yeah, I may have gotten a little mad at him but he deserved it."

"You were unresponsive, Jim. You scared the shit out of Sebastian."

"I wasn't… I was just…" Jim closed his eyes, trying to think back. "I was just taking a break. The camera was off my face so I could relax. And I was focused on holding still so I wouldn't mess up the cuts. If Sebastian had given me a few seconds more, we could have carried on."

"Bullshit, Jim!" Pete was definitely furious now. "I know Sebastian and I know how well he knows you. If he said something was wrong, something was unquestionably wrong."

"Fine…" Jim could feel himself pouting. "Believe what you want."

They were both silent for a long moment.

"Sebastian's really worried," Pete said, making an effort to sound calm. "He's been waiting for you at home, debating whether to report you missing or not."

Jim sighed. "I'm not coming home," he said. "Not yet, anyway. Blowing this film has really set us back. I need time to figure out how to salvage this. And I need… I just need time…"

It was Pete's turn to sigh. "At least call him," he implored. "You owe him that."

"I don't owe him anything. In fact… Can you give him a message from me?"

"That depends on the message."

"Pete… Please… I can't deal with this right now. Please tell Seb that he should move back to his own place. We're not going to raise enough money anyway, so there's no point in him selling it.”

This time the silence was so long that Jim began wondering if they'd been cut off. "I'll tell him, Jim. But you gotta talk to him at some point. For both your sakes."

...

"Did you talk to him?" Patrick asked, not meeting Jim's eyes when he returned to the sofa.

"No!" Jim answered truthfully. "I called a mutual friend. Asking him to convey a message. That…" He paused, realising he had to modify a bit. "That he can no longer stay at my flat. That he needs to find another place to crash."

Patrick smiled and held his hand out to Jim. "Good for you," he said, pulling him close and kissing the top of his head. "That's the first step to getting rid of him."

Basking in the praise, Jim nuzzled Patrick's neck. "It's the second step. The first was realising where to go."

"Yes." Patrick laughed, tilting his head to let Jim suck gently on the skin. "That was a very good start. You are where you belong now and I'm going to take care of you."

…

Monday morning, Patrick had to go to work, reluctantly leaving a pouting Jim in the bed surrounded by books, snacks and a large thermos of his favourite tea.

But no sooner was Patrick out the door than Jim was on his feet, roaming the house restlessly, looking for something to do. Being pampered was very nice, but it did get a bit dull in the long run. Four days of it was just about what he could stand without needing some kind of diversion.

The best thing would have been to get started on those scripts that Patrick said they'd need for the investors. But even though Patrick had given Jim his passwords and granted him full use of his office, it just wasn't enough. All his drafts and ideas were on his laptop. Back at the flat.

He should have asked Patrick to go and get it for him, but Sebastian might still be there and he couldn't risk them running into each other. There were too many things they didn't know about Jim. About each other. But together, they more or less had the whole disgusting picture. And if they managed to piece it together, both would drop Jim like the miserable piece of shit he was.

He'd lose it all. Again.

He would have to risk going there himself. After all, what were the odds that Sebastian was still hanging around? Even with most of his stuff gone, Sebastian's flat was still a lot nicer than Jim's. He'd be able to refurnish it quickly and get his life back on track. Back to how it was before Jim fucked up everything.

Patrick had left Jim one of his cards in case he felt like ordering something in. Jim supposed he wouldn't mind him using it to pay for the cab. He'd pay it all back. Eventually.

Asking the driver to wait for him, Jim hurried up to his flat and spent a whole minute listening at the door for signs of movement inside. Nothing.

He retrieved his extra key from where it was taped to the top of the doorframe and let himself in, still stepping lightly, just in case. But after a quick inspection, he had confirmed that not only was Sebastian gone but all his things with him.

Jim had his home back!

But he didn't even consider hanging around. Not when he had a huge gorgeous house in Belgravia waiting for him with a fridge stocked with delicacies, a bed the size of his whole living room and a sweet, wealthy man, eager to give Jim anything he could possibly want.

He got out his small suitcase from under the bed and packed a few of his favourite outfits. Patrick had already supplied him with new underwear and pyjamas, but they hadn't had time for an actual shopping spree yet. Stuffing the most essential toiletries in a smaller bag, he proceeded to the living room in search of his laptop.

There, right on the table, were his keys, his wallet and his phone. The phone was off, of course. It had been days since he'd charged it. But when he pressed the button it came back to life. Somebody must have turned it off before leaving it there for him.

That was considerate. He shoved all three things into his pockets and then finally located his laptop on the floor next to the sofa. He squeaked in surprise and almost dropped it when his phone began buzzing in his pocket. Right where he was most ticklish.

Squirming, he managed to dig it out and then flumped down on the sofa when he saw more than 20 texts and voicemails from Pete. Most of them from within the last two days.

His first impulse was to just ignore them for now. Or maybe even delete them.

But he supposed he did kind of owe it to Pete to not just drop off the face of the earth. Even though he was Sebastian's friend first, he had been nice to Jim. They were kind of friends too, weren't they? That didn't have to go away now.

So, steeling himself for a flood of guilt, he opened the first voicemail.

"Where the hell are you, Jim?" Pete was almost screaming. "Call me! Like, right now! It's Sebastian!" There was a pause during which Jim could hear muffled voices in the background. "Fuck, Jim… This is bad. This is really bad. Call me!"

Jim's blood turned to ice. Sebastian? Was he hurt? Had he… had he hurt himself?

With numb fingers, Jim fumbled to scroll through the messages. They were all the same: Pete begging him to get in touch as quickly as possible. Whatever had happened, it was so horrible that he needed to tell Jim in person.

Chapter Text

Jim didn't remember the ride back to Patrick's place. Somehow he'd managed to get both his bag and laptop with him, but forgotten to bring the charger. But that hardly mattered. Something had happened to Sebastian. Something bad! And Jim had no doubt that it was all his fault.

Had Sebastian gotten hurt? Knowing his temper, Jim wouldn't put it past him to get himself into a drunken fight or some shit like that. Or maybe he'd even hurt himself on purpose. Maybe he had…

Jim pushed that thought away aggressively, cursing at the tears stinging his eyes.

He didn't dare call Pete. Not yet. Not while he was alone. Whatever the news was, he was going to need Patrick. To comfort him or calm him down. Or keep him from chasing down Sebastian and ripping his throat out if this was just a false alarm.

He watched the clock anxiously. Three hours until Patrick would be home. Two.

Jim tried eating something, but it came right back up. He tried sleeping, but every time he closed his eyes, his brain would assault him with the worst scenarios imaginable.

He finally ended up on the sofa, staring angrily at the hosts of some inane talkshow debating the merits of cinnamon scrubs.

Finally, he heard the front door open and raced out to launch himself at Patrick.

"James….?" Barely managing to stay on his feet, Patrick let go of his briefcase and wrapped his arms around the trembling Jim. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"I… I don't know…" Jim sobbed.

As Patrick steered him back to the sofa, Jim managed to convey the gist of Pete's messages, between sobs and sniffs.

"Oh darling…" Patrick held him close and stroked his back with one hand, the other cradling Jim's head. "You should have called me right away. What were you thinking, torturing yourself like this?"

"I… I didn't want to bother you." Jim sniffed. "You've already done so much for me."

"And I'll do anything it takes," Patrick said. "You can never ask too much of me, James. Especially not about something like this."

"You're not mad?" Jim whispered. "That I'm worried about him? That I still care?"

"Of course not, silly." Patrick pulled Jim closer to kiss the top of his head. "Just because you're with me now, doesn't mean you can just turn off whatever you two had. I know you still have feelings for him. Why else would you have had such a hard time letting go? I had accepted that long before you showed up on my doorstep. I'm just happy you chose me." He held Jim for a long moment. "You need to call your friend now. And whatever happens, I'm here for you. You're not alone. Okay?"

He made Jim look up at him and kissed his nose. "Now go on, darling. Call him."

As soon as he had selected Pete's number, Jim closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, holding it until the call was answered.

"Jim!" Pete cried, not giving him a chance to speak. "Thank god you called. I've been trying to get a hold of you for days, but that number you called me from was hidden and your own phone was turned off. What the hell is going on?"

"Never mind that, what happened to Sebastian? Is he okay?" Patrick took Jim's hand in his, giving it a soft squeeze.

"I suppose so…" Pete paused. "There's nothing physically wrong with him. Not really, but…" Another pause.

"For fuck’s sake!" Jim almost screamed, making Patrick jump in surprise. "Just tell me, Pete! What happened?"

Jim heard a sigh, then: "He's been arrested. Got caught trying to steal from the club. It's pretty bad, Jim. He'd taken a lot of money and there's little doubt that he'd have taken more if he hadn't been disturbed. And with his priors and all, they're not going to go easy on him. He's going to prison, Jim."

The phone almost slipped from Jim's hand. "Wha… What?" he managed to breathe, feeling Patrick move even closer. "Why would he do that?"

"I haven't had a chance to talk to him afterwards, but he mentioned something about buying some equipment from Angelo." Jim almost tossed the phone away. He didn't want to hear this. But Pete went on, starting to sound angry again. "Apparently the money from his flat wasn't enough."

"I told him not to sell it!" Jim said defensively. Next to him Patrick had sat up straight and was watching him intently.

"Well, it was too late, wasn't it?" Pete countered. "He was going to surprise you with the money after you were done filming. Except…"

"Except I'm the worst kind of scum there is…" Jim sighed.

"Exactly." Pete took a breath as if to continue, but Jim hung up on him and turned off his phone.

Patrick waited, but when Jim didn't move or speak, he finally reached up to stroke his cheek. "So?" he asked softly. "What happened?"

Jim sighed. "Seb… My ex… He's gone and gotten himself arrested. Apparently he was so desperate for a roof over his head that he tried to rob a club. Got caught with his hands in the safe."

"Serves him right," Patrick huffed. "After what he put you through."

Jim bit back his reply and nodded. "I'm sorry I got so worked up over this," he said. "And that I got you worried too. If I hadn't been such a coward and just called…"

"It's okay, darling," Patrick said, leaning in for a kiss. "You didn't know."

Jim tried to enjoy the kiss, but his mind kept turning back to what Pete had told him. Why would Sebastian do such a thing? It would sort of have made sense if they had still been in this together, but now? Surely Sebastian had understood that things were over between them. That they would not be starting the new studio together. Had he perhaps wanted to do it on his own? No, Jim didn't believe that. Seb did not have that kind of ambition. The studio had always been Jim's dream. Why, then? Had he really done something so profoundly stupid to help Jim? After everything Jim had done to him? Was he really that dumb?

"James?" Patrick asked, pulling back a little. "I sense you're not quite with me. Do you… Do you need some time alone?"

Jim almost said yes, but then realised that if Patrick left, there'd be even less to distract him from his raging thoughts. He shook his head.

"Not at all," he said, cocking his head and smiling sweetly. "I was just thinking that I'm really all better now. You know, I'm not hurting or anything and I was hoping that we could finally…"

"Oh James." Patrick rolled his eyes and laughed. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Take me to bed and make me scream?" Jim suggested, grinning eagerly.

Chapter Text

Having missed the opportunity to buy Angelo's equipment proved to be a blessing in disguise. After a bit of research, Patrick was able to convince Jim that it would make much more sense to rent cameras, filters, lights and all the other stuff he barely knew either the name or use of. First of all, he would be able to get started on a much smaller budget and secondly, and even more importantly, it would make it a lot easier to keep up with the developments in the field and switch to newer and better gear.

Frank had sent over the footage from the dungeon, but Jim had been reluctant to even watch it. He was trying to work himself up to finding someone to help him try and salvage it in editing, but Patrick convinced him to bury the project. He had found a handful of investors willing to take a risk on Jim and his studio, but neither of them would, Patrick assured Jim, have anything to do with him if he released something so hardcore and graphic.

After a day of pouting, Jim accepted their offers, Patrick drew up the contracts and then the real work began.

They found a studio that they could rent on a biannual basis with enough room and facilities that it allowed Jim to work on two films simultaneously. Then Jim interviewed and selected potential crew, all new to the business and eager to take a chance on something fresh and possibly unique. Actors were harder to find, since the few who could live up to Jim's—according to Patrick impossible—standards, were already well established with other studios.

Eventually he did manage to sign up a few inexperienced but talented young men. But they were all of the twink-variety and he really needed some strength and muscle for his first projects.

He'd set up the living room in his old flat as a makeshift office and writing studio, and for once Patrick hadn't objected. Jim supposed he did not want any part of Jim's profession inside his home, which suited Jim just fine. Despite lots of cuddling and sex, he was starting to get a bit restless. Patrick was generous, but sort of lacking when it came to variety and imagination. Jim’s bedroom was still fully furnished and he figured it was just a matter of time before someone with the right kind of chemistry would walk through the door and they could retire for some extra 'auditioning'.

…

He'd just finished the last rewrite on the script he was hoping to turn into his first film when his phone rang. Figuring it was Patrick wanting to know what to make for dinner, he answered without taking his eyes off the laptop. "Hey," he said, hitting save and closing down the document.

“Hello, Jim.” The voice sounded a little hesitant and Jim didn’t immediately recognise it. “It’s Tony. How are you doing?”

Resisting the urge to hang up, Jim forced a smile into his voice. "Tony? Wow, it's been a while. I'm doing great. How about you?"

“I’m fine, but… I heard about Sebastian. It can’t have been easy for you…”

Jim sighed. He should have hung up. "Yeah, it was... kind of rough… But to tell the truth, we’d already sort of broken up. Things just weren't working out between us."

“Yeah. I’m sorry…” Tony cleared his throat. “So… Did you go through with your studio, or did you put that idea on hold?”

"I am working on it," Jim said hesitantly, remembering Tony's enthusiasm for the idea. He'd been polite at the time, but Tony really wasn't what he was looking for. At all.

“Okay. It’s just, I’m kind of between jobs now, so if there’s anything I can do to help you… Or if there’s any role you have in mind for me…”

"We're starting out small," Jim said, a little too quickly. "Just a couple of guys and I think I've already found them, but I'll let you know if anything pops up later."

“Okay. That’s great!” Tony said. “How about we meet up sometime for a drink? To catch up?”

"I'd love that," Jim said. "When are you free?" No reason to burn all bridges. There may yet come a time where he would have to settle for Tony's aging twinkiness.

“Er, now? As I said, I don’t have much on these days…”

"Ehm… Sure?" Jim checked the time. Patrick might be home by now, but he liked spending at least an hour on the sofa watching the news to unwind, so he wouldn't be missing Jim just yet. "Where?"

…

The café was crowded with people desperate for a caffeinated reprieve before braving rush hour on the tube. Jim had to stand on tiptoes to look around the room, but he couldn’t see Tony anywhere.

"Hey! Jim!" A toned blond guy stood up and waved.

Jim gaped at him. “To... Tony?”

"Yeah?" Tony looked down at himself, a little puzzled. "Oh... I guess it has been a while."

“No shit!” Jim felt himself start to grin. “I guess I don’t have to ask you what you’ve been up to.” He gave Tony a tight hug before sitting down. “You look... Wow!”

Tony chuckled, blushing a little. "Thanks. I thought working out might give me more chances to find a new job... But I didn't realise it was that noticeable yet."

"It's kinda hard to miss." Jim reached over the table to feel Tony's arm. "I guess your kitten-days are over, huh?"

Tony chuckled. "Actually, our master helped me a lot. Richard, I mean. He made a whole training scheme for me."

Jim barely kept his smile in place, remembering the last time he had seen Richard. But he pushed it away. He’d already gone over that night a thousand times or more. If Richard had told Sebastian about the two of them, Sebastian would have said something. Done something.

“Yeah? Jim raised an eyebrow. “Has he been whipping you into shape?”

Tony snorted. "I wish. We've just been spending a lot of time at the gym together."

“Really?” Jim’s mind began racing. “You know what... I’ve got this script at home...”

…

"And cut!"

"Oh my god!" Tony laughed as he sat up on the exercise machine and pressed a kiss on Richard's cheek. "That was amazing!"

Richard turned to look at Jim. "Was it? I mean... Wasn't the dialogue a little too much?"

Jim ran a hand through his hair, his laugh only a little exasperated. “There sure was a lot of it,” he said, stepping aside as the sound guy who doubled as PA brought robes. “I guess we can trim it down in editing if necessary.”

"I thought it was pretty hot!" Tony said, hopping off the machine and giving Richard a quick hug before he put on his robe.

Jim looked back and forth between the two. That explained a lot...

“We’ll see,” he said. “I need to talk to the crew now, but how about we go celebrate afterwards? The first film of... of...” He shrugged.

Tony nodded eagerly. "Celebrating sounds great."

"And then maybe we can help you come up with a name for your company," Richard offered, smiling. "A good brand is important..."

“It’s a date!” Jim winked at them and then hurried over to the group gathered around one of the monitors.

…

“So... ‘Richie’...” Jim winked at Tony. “I think I may just have to get myself a membership to that gym of yours.”

Tony chuckled. "Yeah... You should. That Al is a pretty good trainer."

"But you won't achieve anything if you don't work for it yourself." Richard smirked over his glass of coke.

“Sure looked like you two achieved a lot today.”

"Oh no, that was done before today." Tony giggled and flexed to show off his biceps.

“Not what I meant, you goof.” Jim giggled, signalling the woman at the bar to bring them another round. “I’m not going to mess with perfection.” He gestured vaguely at his body. “But I wouldn’t object to a gym that allowed such ‘alternative’ exercises.”

"I bet you wouldn't," Richard said.

"It really is an honour," Tony said. "Being in the first production of your company."

"Which brings us back to the name issue. I want to be able to tell people where they need to look for my newest project!" Richard said. "Do you have anything in mind yet? Maybe just 'Moriarty'?"

“On paper I’m JM Entertainment, but it sounds awful,” Jim said. “Pat... My partner picked it. For all the business stuff.” He shrugged and nearly poured his pint into Tony’s lap. “Sorry... I just... I want a better name to put on the films. Something unique. That will let people know we’re not just selling sex...” He grinned at the group of women who had all gasped in unison, but did lower his voice a little. “Something about the stories...”

"Not that we had that much of a story in this one," Richard laughed.

Tony gasped in mock outrage. "What are you saying? That was a classic fairy tale if I ever saw one! With a very happy ending..."

“I know,” Jim could feel himself pout. “I’m not allowed to do real plots before I’ve proved I can make regular porn.”

"Hey, nothing wrong with a fairy tale plot!" Richard chuckled.

"Especially not when it involves fairy tails..." Tony grinned, gesturing behind his back. "Or Kitten tails!"

“No!” Jim spluttered. “No tails! Not again.”

"It could be a nice pun, though..." Tony said, grinning.

“What, fairy tail?” Jim emptied his beer. “It is kinda funny I guess.”

"So there's your name!" Tony beamed.

"Don't be silly." Richard giggled and also finished his coke, but he stopped Jim when he wanted to order another one. "I kinda need to go. I've got work tonight and I'd better not be late, or they might ask for an explanation..."

"Surely you’re not ashamed," Tony teased.

"No, but... you know..." Richard shrugged.

“They’ll find out eventually. When I make you famous.” Jim leaned over to give Richard a one-armed hug. “Thanks for doing this. It really means a lot.”

Richard only hesitated a moment before he hugged him back. "It was my pleasure. If there's anything else... just give me a call."

…

"Seriously, Tony," Jim said, stumbling off the pub’s doorstep and almost faceplanting on the pavement before Tony caught him. "You don't have to pay for a cab home. I'm telling you, my flat is only a short walk from here. Well… Shortish… And there's a place along the way that makes awesome kebabs."

“Isn’t it weird if I stay over at your place?” Tony asked. “I mean… You’re my boss now!”

"Not at all," Jim said, giggling. "I don't really live there anymore. I just use it for work and such. But there is still a fully functioning bed."

“But my place isn’t that far away… I can make it there. Probably…” Tony giggled too and bumped against Jim’s shoulder.

"Are you kidding me? Miles-from-everywhere End? You'll either blow everything you'll make on this movie paying for a ride or drop dead before you cross the water."

“I could always blow the cabbie.” Tony grinned.

"Or you could blow me?" Jim managed a straight face for all of two seconds, then snorted and doubled over.

“Oh, is that the cost for staying at your place? I knew there had to be something!”

"More like a… suggested donation…" Jim pulled himself upright again and took a firm hold on Tony's arm. "Come on. It's this way."

Jim quickly regretted his little joke as Tony cheerily began listing all the ways in which Jim was indeed like those plexi-glass containers at museum entrances. When he began comparing him to specific ones, debating whether he belonged at Natural History or the Horniman, Jim decided enough was enough, grabbed him by the collar, shoved him against the nearest wall and shut his mouth effectively. Unfortunately he had also shut his own eyes and that, combined with having to tilt his head up a little to reach Tony's lips, proved to be a bad combination. Tony had to catch him as he swayed backwards.

“Gee, Jim,” Tony laughed. “You must have missed me. One kiss and you’re swooning like a Victorian heroine…”

"I'm not swoom… swooning!" Jim huffed. "I'm just hungry. Haven't eaten since noon. Let's go find those kebabs."

Only, when they made their way down to Dulwich Road, Jim was sorely disappointed. "Closed? How can they be closed? I'm hungry!"

“It’s kinda late…” Tony pointed out. “Maybe we should see if we can find another place?”

"Late? How late?" Jim checked his phone. "Shit…! How did that happen?"

“Four pints and three cocktails…” Tony counted on his fingers. “Or was it only two cocktails?”

"Two cocktails and one fairy tail…" Jim sniggered. Then he groaned. "Oh no… Patrick will have gone to bed hours ago. Work in the morning and all that. He's going to be so pissed if I wake him up…"

“Didn’t you just say you have a functional bed at your place?” Tony asked. “So you can sleep there too?”

Jim frowned up at him. "You won't mind?" he asked. "I sorta already promised the bed to you."

Tony shrugged. “I didn’t pay you yet, so I may as well find a cab. Or just sleep on your sofa…”

"Or we can share the bed and you pay me in the morning?"

Tony nodded seriously. “Sensible.” He bent down for another kiss.

After a few failed attempts, Jim finally managed to get the door to his flat opened and they stumbled inside, reluctant to let go of each other. On the way to the bedroom, however, Tony insisted that they stop in the kitchen and drink some water. Jim almost rolled his eyes at this, but as the room began to tilt, he hesitantly agreed that Tony might have a point.

Their clothes were, mostly, discarded during the trip from the kitchen sink to the bed with only a modicum of stumbling, and finally they made it under the covers.

"I think I'm going to need the first instalment tonight," Jim insisted while Tony sucked on his earlobe. "In case you run off during the night or something."

“Can’t be too careful,” Tony agreed, catching his lips for a heated kiss, which Jim returned eagerly for a bit before taking hold of Tony's shoulders and trying to push him down.

“Greedy,” Tony remarked, but he obediently kissed and licked down his neck and chest.

"No… Just horny." Jim suppressed a yawn.

Chapter Text

Something was missing. As Jim shifted a little, trying to get Tony to continue his path down Jim's body, he suddenly realised what was wrong.

"Condom!" he gasped, pushing Tony away so he could sit up. His brain exploded with pain as the harsh morning light stabbed his eyes and he doubled over, moaning. "Fuck…"

“Huh?” Tony said, sounding muffled.

"My head…" Jim groaned, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes. "It's dying... "

“How… did we get here…?”

"More important…" Jim managed to look with one barely open eye and saw that Tony had fallen off him and was hazily looking up with his face mashed into the mattress. "Did you actually ever get started last night? With the… you know… payment?" In spite of the pain, he couldn't help grinning a little.

Tony blinked and pushed himself up onto his elbows, wincing. “Pay… Oh! I… I don’t think so?” He glanced in the direction of Jim’s cock. “I think I’d remember…”

Jim snorted and then groaned again. "I should hope so," he said, whimpering as he began worming his way to the edge of the bed. "But still… It's probably for the best, since we were both too stupid to be safe."

“Yeah…” Tony smacked his lips. “Ugh… I wish I had my toothbrush…”

"I might have a spare." Jim staggered to his feet. "And some ibuprofen. Want some?"

“Hell yeah.” Tony sat up slowly. “Oh fuck…”

"Breakfast first." Jim giggled as he made his way to the bathroom.

…

There wasn't much in the cupboards, but Jim found some cereal and luckily he always kept some milk in the fridge for tea. He'd much rather have had something greasy and salty, but neither of them felt up to going out. While they ate, he sent Patrick a text to say that time had gotten away from him, so he'd spent the night at his old flat, adding that he had missed both Patrick and his much nicer bed.

Then he looked up at Tony, who was staring blankly at his bowl. "Feeling better?" Jim asked.

Tony considered for a moment, then smiled. “Starting to.”

"Good." Jim smiled too. "I'm sorry I'm such a lousy host, but I wasn't expecting overnight company."

“Don’t worry,” Tony said. “I doubt I could stomach much more than this right now. Except, like, as much water as will come out of your tap…”

"Luckily, there's no shortage there," Jim said, getting up to go fetch them some glasses. It really was for the best that they'd never gotten around to that blowjob last night, he mused as he let the water run cold. It would have been really bad if they had engaged in any kind of unsafe sex. Patrick would have been furious and Tony would have had to get tested before he could film again. Which would be extremely inconvenient, since Jim had a couple of other ideas for him.

Tony finished his second large glass of water and sighed in relief. “Okay. Better. So…” He glanced at Jim. “Back to where we lost track?”

Jim cringed and put down his glass. "You do know I wasn't being serious, right? About you having to pay to sleep here?"

“No? That’s a shame…”

"I didn't mean we couldn't…" Jim spluttered. "Just… You don't have to. If you don't want to."

Tony stepped in close, lowering his face to Jim’s. “And what do you want?”

"Are you kidding me?" Jim ran a hand through his hair, hoping the colour of his cheeks wasn't too obvious. "After watching you do Richard yesterday? I've been dying for a go."

Tony chuckled. “Great. Where can we find those condoms you were dreaming about?”

"Top drawer of the dresser," Jim said, rushing to the bedroom.

...

Jim was right on the brink when Tony pulled off. “Actually…”

"Actually...?" Jim gasped, exasperated. "What's wrong? I was…" He tugged a little on Tony's hair, desperate for him to finish the job.

“Well…” Tony smiled apologetically. “Since I’m not ‘paying’ you… Maybe we can do something I haven’t been able to stop thinking about since… last time…”

"Oh?" Jim's frown melted into a grin. "What did you have in mind? Specifically?"

“Well, it’s not like Richard didn’t do a thorough job yesterday, but… I can always take more…” Tony answered his grin.

Trying not to smile too goofily, Jim nodded. "Sure… We can do that." He gave Tony's shoulder a soft shove. "Hands and knees. Please."

“Hell yes.” Tony moved over and obeyed.

Jim quickly got the lube and, slicking up his fingers, knelt behind Tony. "Are you sure you're not sore from yesterday?" he asked, circling his hole gently.

“Yes,” Tony said. “Please…”

Jim tested him with one finger, then pushed two inside, moving a little quicker than he had intended, but hell, he wanted this. So bad. "Seems like Richard really did do a good job yesterday," he commented. "Too bad we won’t be using that part in the film."

Tony moaned. “He did… Come on, Jim. Just fuck me…”

Not needing to be told twice, Jim pulled out his fingers, shifted closer and pushed in. "Holy fucking hell," he groaned. He'd almost forgotten how good it felt being inside Tony. So tight and hot. So good…

Taking hold of Tony's hips, he began thrusting, setting a brisk pace right from the start. Tony would let him know if it was too much and judging from the sounds he was making, Jim did not have to worry about that.

Unfortunately, Jim realised, he wouldn't be able to last long. Tony had done a really good job with his mouth and Jim had been so worked up since they left the pub last night that it was almost a miracle that he'd lasted this long. “Fuck… Sorry…” he whined. “I’m not gonna… I…”

“Yes, come on,” Tony urged, pushing back against him.

With a cry, Jim slammed his hips forward and came, digging his fingers hard into Tony’s hips. As he collapsed onto the bed, he nudged Tony. "Grab a condom," he gasped. "I'll finish you off. Hurry."

“Fuck, yes…” Tony moaned and scrambled to comply.

"On your side," Jim said, gesturing for Tony to lie down in the opposite direction with one hand while removing his own condom with the other. Then he rolled over to nuzzle Tony's cock and give it a slow, teasing lick. "I want you to fuck my mouth," he told Tony. "Will you do that?"

“Yes,” Tony panted. “Let me just…” He shifted to find a better position and then, as Jim caught the head of his cock between his lips, started thrusting.

…

Things had been a little awkward when he walked Tony to the station. The sex had been awesome, but rather rushed, and now Jim was going home to his boyfriend. Last time, he and Sebastian had been sort of broken up and Jim couldn't shake the feeling that Tony might have been hoping for more than a quick shag in the dressing room. This time there could be no doubt that it was just a casual thing. What exactly was the etiquette for something like this? Should he kiss him or shake his hand?

Tony solved his dilemma by pulling him into a hug and then giving him a gentle kiss on the lips. “Thanks for the job. And the bed. And, you know.” He winked. “Call me anytime. For either of those.”

Jim grinned with relief. "Hell. I should be thanking you. It was awesome. And I'm pretty sure I'll have another job for you soon. Probably not with Richard, though."

Tony’s smile faltered just a little. “Let’s hope there’ll be other projects for him, then. See you!”

Only once he was settled on the top deck of the bus did it truly register with Jim that he had cheated on Patrick. Really cheated. Patrick had been kind of okay with the Sebastian thing, understanding that there were some unresolved feelings involved. But this? He was living in Patrick's house, fucking him as much as possible and letting the man spoil and pamper him constantly. And how did Jim repay him? By going out and screwing around the first chance he got. And with one of his, hopefully steady, actors, which meant they'd be seeing a lot of each other. Getting a lot of opportunities to do it again.

And they would, if Tony really was interested. Jim knew himself well enough by now to admit that he would not be able to resist. That he'd be happily inviting it.

Could he keep that hidden from Patrick? The man was no Sebastian. He wasn't stupid. Considering the state of constant lowkey panic Jim had been living in when trying to hide Patrick from Sebastian, how would this be? Surely he'd break down within a week. Or less.

He had royally fucked up his life. Again.

By the time he walked up to the large white house, Jim decided that this time he'd do the right thing. Well, at least the only right thing that was left to do. He was going to tell Patrick the truth and hope he could forgive him.

...

"Wow…" Patrick said, pausing in the door to take in the sight. Jim was waiting for him on the sofa, wearing his nicest shirt and least faded jeans. On the table was a plate of assorted delicacies, those of Patrick's favourites he'd been able to round up in a hurry, along with an open bottle of wine and two glasses.

Jim held up a single red rose he'd been hiding behind his back. "Missed you," he said, smiling sweetly.

To his dismay, Patrick sighed. "Oh James," he said, setting down his briefcase and walking over to the sofa slowly. "What did you do this time?"

Cringing, Jim looked away. "I'm sorry," he muttered. "I didn't mean to. It just… it just happened."

He could feel Patrick sitting down next to him, but didn't move, even as Patrick gently took the rose from his hand. "James," he said, taking gentle hold of Jim's chin and making him face him. "Look at me."

Reluctantly, Jim obeyed, for once not bothering to fight the moisture rising in his eyes. "We… We went to celebrate our first film and things got out of hand. You know I'm not much of a drinker and…"

"And you slept with one of them?" Patrick finished, looking both tired and sad.

"A bit," Jim said, earning himself a small smile. "He needed a place to crash so we both went back to my flat and… we're good friends and we’ve done stuff before. Just for fun. It's nothing serious, it really isn't, and I'm so sorry. It will never ha…."

Patrick silenced Jim with a finger on his lips. "Shush, darling. Don't make promises you can't keep."

Jim nodded and felt his cheeks burn as tears spilled from his eyes. Patrick knew how things were too. And he still wanted Jim. In spite of his weakness.

Knowing he was pushing his luck, Jim opened his mouth a little and licked Patrick's finger. Then, when he got a nod of permission, he moved to take the finger into his mouth, sucking gently.

Patrick laughed. "Oh James. You really are impossible. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were enjoying the shame. Or maybe it's the forgiveness part? The making up?"

Jim smiled around Patrick's finger, letting his eyes sparkle with that hint of mischief that had gotten him in trouble so many times before.

"Fine," Patrick said with an indulgent eyeroll and began unbuttoning his pants with his free hand. "Come show me exactly how sorry you are."

Chapter Text

"So, as you can see," Jim told Richard, "I've changed a couple of things since I told you about the idea, but I really think this could make an awesome movie. It will be a pretty long one, of course. Like that ballet one I did before meeting Sebastian." He looked at Tony. "You remember that one, right?"

"Of course," Tony said. "Kind of hard not to, with... everything that was going on..." He cleared his throat. "At least according to the rumours."

Jim nodded. “It got kinda messy, but my point is, that film made a lot of money.” He reached across the table for another beer. “So clearly there’s a market for stuff like that. And I think we can make an even better one. Less ‘artistic’. More hot. That’s where the jealous boyfriend comes in. Dealing out sexy punishments and stuff like that.” He grinned at them both and leaned back in the chair. “What do you guys think? Are you in?”

"You know I am." Richard huffed out a laugh. "You wouldn't believe me if I said it didn't turn me on."

Tony frowned for a moment before he asked: "So I would be playing the jealous boyfriend?"

"No," Jim said, chuckling. "You're one of the lovers. I figure there'll be two main ones and a couple of one-nighters thrown in. I'm not sure who'll be playing the boyfriend yet. We'll need someone with SM experience. Who can make it look good." Before either of them could comment, he continued quickly. "I'll have several scenes with each of you and at least one with all three of us."

Tony nodded, looking a little relieved. "Sounds good."

"So does that mean all the business stuff is out of the way?" Richard asked, putting down his empty glass. "So we can properly celebrate our new job?"

“For now.” Jim giggled. “What did you have in mind?”

"Do you have any shot glasses?" Richard grinned.

"Oh no..." Tony hid his face in his hands. "Couldn't you have mentioned that before we started on the beer? Why do I always end up stupidly drunk when I meet up with you guys?"

“Because it’s fun?” Jim jumped to his feet and ran to the kitchen. The glasses, as well as everything else in the cupboards, had gotten rather dusty, so he gave them a quick rinse. “Should we order a pizza?” he called to the others.

"Yes!" Tony said immediately. "Maybe I'll be able to hold my liquor if I've got something in my stomach."

Richard chuckled. "I wouldn't count on it."

"Hey!" Tony swatted him playfully.

“Hey!” Jim pushed between them to put the glasses on the table. “Don’t start the fun without me.”

...

By the time the pizzas were delivered, they were already well on the way to emptying Richard's first bottle. Jim flirted with the geeky delivery guy and Richard tried to get the poor kid to join them before letting him go. After eating, they moved down to the sofa, opened a new bottle and somehow came up with the brilliant idea of playing truth or dare.

"I'll go first," Jim said, eagerly. "Truth. I have no secrets from you guys!"

Tony smirked at Richard. "Oh wow. I was wrong. Getting drunk with you guys is the best. Imagine what we can ask..."

"I'll do better than just imagine," Richard said. "Jim, what's the largest number of guys you've ever had at the same time?"

"Just guys?" Jim asked, smiling wickedly.

"Oooooh!" Tony said. "Tell us everything."

“Oh no,” Jim said, wagging his finger. “The question was about guys. That would be three. You were there, Richard. Remember?”

"As if I'll ever forget that shoot!"

“So who’s next?” Jim looked at Tony.

"Fine. I'll take truth, too." Tony emptied his glass in one swig.

Jim considered for a moment. “Best shag you’ve ever had?” he asked. “Off camera?”

Tony grinned. "Oh, that's not very difficult..." He gestured towards Jim's bedroom.

"Really?" Richard asked. "When did that happen?"

"Uh... A couple of times..."

Jim couldn’t help feeling more than a little smug. “Richard’s turn!”

"But you guys are not, like, a couple, right? Are you?" Richard asked.

"Ha, no." Tony smiled. "We were just having fun. So... Truth or dare?"

"Dare!"

Tony turned to Jim. "What should we let him sing? I think he needs to sing."

“He definitely does,” Jim agreed. “Sing us a song, Richard.”

Richard groaned. "Can't I do something fun? Like strip, or something?"

"Nope," Tony said gleefully. "Sing for us!"

"Urgh." Richard cleared his throat and then started on a somewhat glitchy version of You’re Beautiful .

Halfway through, Jim took pity on him. “Bravo!” he cried, clapping. “My turn. I’ll do another truth.”

"It really was beautiful," Tony said, grinning as he patted Richard's hand. "So, Jim... Tell us about the times with the not-only-guys!"

Jim rolled his eyes. “Fine, it was at New Year's. At this... club. There were a bunch of people. Performers. Guests. Probably some staff too. We all got together in this private room and went at it. I can’t tell you much about what actually happened but it was kind of awesome.” Except for the sight that met him afterwards, but they did not need to know about that.

"Wow," Richard said. "Which club was that? Maybe we should meet up there at some point..."

"I'm not sure I'm welcome there anymore," Jim said, reaching for the bottle to fill his glass again. "And I don't need that place to have fun anyways. Just the right kind of people."

Richard frowned. "Why..."

Tony kicked his shin and almost fell off the sofa in the process. "My turn!" he called out.

"Oh. Right." Richard shot Jim an apologetic look. "So, Tony, since we've established you're not with Jim... Is there someone you fancy?"

"Hey! I didn't say I wanted truth!" Tony's cheeks were decidedly redder than they'd been a few moments ago. "Find me a dare!"

Richard chuckled. "You do realise you've just answered that, right? But fine, just kiss Jim, then."

“Oh, dares can involve others?” Jim pretended to be shocked. “I’ll remember that.”

"Others are allowed to protest, of course. I'm listening." Richard tapped his ear.

"Come here," Tony said, leaning in to Jim.

Shooting Richard a not very convincing, filthy look, Jim turned to Tony. “Let’s give him a good show,” he whispered.

"Oh fuck..." Richard whimpered as Tony pulled Jim into his lap without ever breaking the deep kiss. "You guys look hot... Please tell me we'll get copies of the films we're in, Jim. I may need to watch you two more often."

Jim did a sort of wave in Richard’s direction. If he hadn’t been there too, Jim would probably just have ripped Tony’s clothes off and had him right then. Not that he thought Richard would mind, but still... It would be terribly rude, not to mention put an early end to a game that might yet prove... interesting... However, he let the kiss continue until they were both panting and he could feel Tony growing hard under him.

"So," Tony said breathlessly. "Should we find a new dare for you, Richard?"

"Hell, yes."

Getting off Tony's lap, Jim went over to get his laptop. "You wanted to strip for us, right?" he asked, looking through his music. "Let's see it then." With his most charmingly innocent smile, he put on Roxanne .

Jim snuggled up with Tony while watching, giggling but also getting even more turned on as Richard swayed to the music, slowly revealing more and more of his frankly quite impressive physique. When Richard turned his back to show off his arse as he pulled his boxers down, Jim leaned in to whisper in Tony's ear: "So I'm the best shag you've ever had?"

Tony licked his lips and didn't take his eyes off Richard. "Off camera..."

"Oh..." Jim was starting to pout when it hit him. "Oh!!!" He grinned. "You know... Maybe I can help you with that. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to try for some action myself tonight. If you don't object."

Now Tony did look at him, with a twinkle in his eyes. "That sounds like the best possible scenario."

"Yeah?" Jim ran a finger up Tony's thigh. "That's good, because I'm feeling a very powerful urge to bend you over and make you scream."

He returned his attention to Richard and clapped enthusiastically. "That was so hot. You should really consider going into that business. You'd make a fortune."

Richard snorted. "Guess I'll be getting a stripping scene in the next movie."

"Ooh, I hope you do!" Tony grinned. "Now whose turn was it? Do you care for a dare, Jim?"

Jim hesitated a moment, then shook his head. "Nah, I'm too lazy. Give me another truth."

Tony huffed, but Richard looked thoughtful as he put his boxers back on.

"What's the kinkiest thing you've ever done? In your opinion?" he asked.

Jim opened his mouth to reply, then closed it again. That was a real tough one. He wanted to impress them, but still... How much did he really want them to know?

“So much to choose from,” he teased, buying himself time to think.

"Oh, we're quite happy to listen to all of them," Tony said eagerly.

“Oh no, you asked for one thing.” Jim emptied his glass and gestured for Richard to pour him another one. “I guess it was during the first group thing I did.” He paused for effect. “I was freaking out a bit and turned bitchy. Like a proper diva, demanding that everything be about me. Well, the other three were all experienced with the BDSM scene and they’d set it up perfectly. I didn’t realise what was going on before it was too late. I mean, scary as it was, I was really turned on and then suddenly Sebastian told me that I could either let him ‘put me in my place’ or he’d call the whole thing off. I was furious, of course, but also really horny, so I accepted it.” Remembering how Pete and Ronald had looked at them, Jim shivered and took a large sip of his drink. “Well, Sebastian put me over his knee and gave me a good old-fashioned spanking, right there in front of his friends. It was so humiliating. But also incredibly hot, especially when it ended in all three of them fucking me senseless.”

"Wow," Tony said breathlessly.

"Wish I'd been there," Richard agreed.

Jim emptied his glass. “Whose turn is it?”

"Mine!" Tony said. "I want another dare."

“I think Richard deserves a kiss now,” Jim said.

Richard nodded solemnly. "After such a wonderful striptease, I should think so."

Tony moved to sit in Richard's lap, cupped his face and kissed him sweetly.

Jim let them carry on for a while, wondering if maybe he could sell a short, more romantic piece with those two. Not a big plot. Just some courting, pining and getting each other in the end. Would it be too boring?

Richard hummed against Tony's lips, grabbing his arse and pulling him closer to grind against him.

“Do you mind if I take a picture?” Jim asked. “For creative purposes.”

Tony let out a sort of moan that might mean 'fine'.

Jim took a couple of pictures and even recorded a short video. Then he nudged Richard’s shoulder. “Should I just leave you two to it or...?”

Richard pushed Tony a little back, panting. His boxers were looking uncomfortably tight. "Sorry, Jim. How about we dare Tony to lie on your bed so you can tie him up?"

Jim grinned. “Not a bad idea, but it’s your turn.”

"Can he suck you?" Tony asked Jim. "Just a bit?"

“If he wants a dare.” Jim stood up and began opening his jeans.

"I'll get some condoms," Tony said, getting off Richard's lap. "And get rid of these..." He quickly stepped out of his jeans.

Richard chuckled. "Yeah. Make yourself comfortable."

“I guess that means you take the dare?” Jim smirked at Richard, letting his own jeans fall to the floor.

"Can't go disappointing Tony, can I?" Richard chuckled and got to his knees.

Tony threw a wrapped condom against his head and giggled. "No, you can't!"

“Get over here,” Jim said, reaching for Tony. “You’ll want to watch up close, don’t you?”

Tony nodded eagerly and stood next to Jim, reaching out to brush a hand through Richard's hair.

"Ready?" Richard asked Jim, tearing the condom wrapper.

“Always,” Jim said, pushing his pants down to release his cock. He put an arm around Tony and pulled him closer so he could kiss him.

Once Richard had rolled the condom on and began teasing him with his tongue, Jim broke the kiss. “Look at him,” he told Tony. “Don’t take your eyes off him.”

When Tony obeyed, Jim tangled his fingers in Richard’s hair, tugging a bit. “Look up,” he ordered, his voice a little shaky as Richard chose that exact moment to take Jim’s cock in his mouth. “Look at Tony.”

Once their eyes were locked on each other, Jim let go of Tony long enough to suck on his fingers to get them wet, then reached behind Tony and slipped his hand down his pants.

Tony gasped. "Is that... still part of the game?"

“Do you want it to be?” Jim purred in his ear. Telling them about his first spanking had been embarrassing. And arousing. But most of all it had brought back the feeling of being controlled. Being weak. He didn’t want to feel like that anymore.

He let his finger circle Tony’s hole, waiting for permission.

"I'm just not sure whose dare it is..." Tony said breathlessly. "But I don't think I care..."

Richard chuckled around Jim's cock and then took him deeper.

With a broken moan, Jim pressed the tip of his finger in. “Richard wants me to tie you up, Tony. And I want to fuck you. Hard. We could make it a double dare?”

Tony whimpered and pushed back against Jim's fingers, his eyes fluttering closed. "Yes. I'm in."

Richard pulled off Jim's cock. "Eyes on me," he reminded Tony. "And actually, I think Jim's the one who's in ."

“Well, I’m not now!” Jim said, pulling Richard’s hair to get him back to work. “Tony decides when you can stop.”

With only spit for lubricant he couldn’t go deep, but judging from Tony’s squirming, the shallow thrusts were just fine for now.

However, barely a minute could have gone by when Tony groaned: "Okay, that's enough, Richard. I want more."

With a groan, Jim pushed Richard away. He had been right on the brink, his alcohol-weakened willpower barely holding him back. He pulled his hand out of Tony’s pants and gave his bum a gentle slap. “Go lie on my bed,” he said. “On your back. Naked.”

"Yes, sir!" Tony almost stumbled in his hurry to get to the bedroom.

"Anything you want me to do?" Richard asked as he got to his feet.

Jim considered the offer, then nodded. “I don’t usually do the tying up,” he said. “And I’m not exactly sober. Could you keep an eye on things? Make sure he’s comfortable?”

"Of course." Richard stole a quick kiss and then followed Tony.

Jim hesitated, not entirely sure he was up for this. But when he saw Tony spread out on his bed, his smile equal parts anticipation and trepidation, all doubts vanished.

With a smile he hoped looked predatory, he walked over to the dresser and got out some of Sebastian’s ropes. They’d only used them once, a long time ago, and Sebastian had probably forgotten about them.

“Hands above your head,” he told Tony as he knelt on the bed next to him. “And bend your knees.”

Tony obeyed immediately.

"He's such a good boy, isn't he?" Richard praised.

"He certainly is." Jim’s movements weren't as confident as he would have liked them to be and he did fumble a bit on the knots, but finally he managed to get Tony into the position he wanted: one end of the rope around his left thigh, running up to the headboard, around his wrists and then down to the right thigh. The more he pulled with his wrists, the more his legs were tugged up to his chest.

Jim sat back to admire his work. "Comfortable?" he asked.

Tony smiled. "Not the word I'd use, but it's good. Thanks."

"Awesome!" Without looking up at Richard, Jim pointed to the dresser. "Lube, please," he said.

"Can I use it on you, too?" Richard asked as he rummaged through the dresser.

Jim flashed him a quick grin and then shifted to get his boxers off. "Hell yes!" It took some shifting around but they were all professionals and soon Jim was kneeling between Tony's feet, leaning forward on one elbow while he slowly worked Tony open, moaning and cursing as Richard was pumping two fingers into him. "Take it easy, big boy," he gasped. "Or you're going to finish me off before we get started."

"Oh no, we don't want that," Richard said, slowing down. "No disappointing Tony, remember?"

Tony just gasped in response as Jim brushed his prostate.

"Well, I guess you could just fuck him instead," Jim said, clenching a little. "But I do really want to try this, so…" He pulled his fingers out and caught Tony's eyes. "You're good?"

"Yeah... " Tony panted. "Please… Jim…"

Waiting for Richard to give him space, Jim gave himself a few quick strokes, slicking up the condom, then settled down and sank into Tony with a satisfied grunt. "I'll never get used to this," he muttered. "You feel so good."

"He does, doesn't he?" Richard sounded fond as he put a condom on himself. "Ready, Jim?"

Jim rolled his hips a few times, making sure that Tony could handle it. "Yeah," he said, grinning. "Let's do this."

"Oh, fuck," Tony whined, closing his eyes. "I'm going to die. You guys are just too hot."

Richard chuckled and slowly pushed into Jim.

That was fucking intense! All Jim could do was focus on not coming right away as Richard drove him into Tony with every thrust. It was bearable as long as he went slow, but soon he began moving faster and, long before Jim would have preferred, he lost control and screamed out his orgasm, trapped between the two bodies.

"Oh, fuck!" Tony screamed, following suit.

Richard pulled out with a moan, tied his condom off and grabbed a new one. "One of you want to finish me off?"

"Give me a second," Tony gasped.

Jim was kind of proud that even in his shagged-out state, he managed to loosen one of the knots so Tony could wriggle free. Then he settled on his side and watched lazily as Tony sucked Richard off. He was definitely putting those two in more movies together.

But when Richard was finished too and the two curled up together, snogging, Jim realised that helping Tony hook up with Richard might be a bad idea if he wanted them to work together. Those things never went well. Hadn’t he been living proof of that? Twice?

"Hey," he said, throwing himself in between them. "Don't I get some of that?"

…

"Really, James? Again?" Patrick sounded sleepy and more than a little miffed when Jim woke him up by rolling a condom onto his cock under the duvet.

"It was for a film. Sort of," Jim muttered evasively. "Trying out some ideas."

"Fine." Patrick sighed. "Couldn't this have waited? It's Sunday…"

Jim gave his cock a quick suck, then pulled back. "Do you want me to stop?" he asked innocently.

Another sigh. "Just get on with it."

Chapter Text

"Not tales but tails... "

"No, Jim," Patrick said, putting down his coffee. "Absolutely not."

"But it's clever," Jim insisted. "It's fun!"

"You're not calling your company a… a pun !" Patrick shook his head and crossed his arms. "I forbid it."

Jim pouted while he buttered his toast. Then he lit up. "How about an acronym? Something with FT?"

Patrick sighed. "It will have to be more than that," he said. "Something you can actually pronounce without sounding like you’re passing wind."

…

"Gofft?" Tony frowned in confusion. "What does that mean?"

"It's an acronym," Patrick said, right at the same time as Jim muttered: "It's a compromise."

"You mean something to do with acrobatics? Because we get in creative positions?" Richard asked.

Jim barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "No, it means…"

"Jimmy!" Angelo came running out of the kitchen, wearing an apron and spreading his arms. "Oh, I'm so glad you guys came to visit! And with such a large group!" He pulled Jim to his feet and into a hug before looking around the table, beaming. "Tony, Richard, Ryan, hi!"

"Hello, Angelo," Tony said warmly, while Richard was too busy laughing at Jim's pained expression.

"Hi, Angelo," Jim gasped, trying to get some air back into his lungs. "This is Patrick. My… partner… We're here to celebrate my first film coming out."

"Really? Oh, that's wonderful!" Angelo squeezed him even more tightly.

"It's called Body Work and it's got Richard and me in it," Tony said proudly.

Angelo grabbed Jim's shoulders and pushed him back a little so he could look at him (and Jim could breathe). "You're not acting in it yourself?"

Jim shook his head. "Thought I'd have enough on my plate, directing and producing it. I am in some of the other stuff we've done, though. But that's still in editing." He beamed up at him. "I'll send you a copy if you like."

"Of course, Jimmy boy!" Angelo nodded, but then frowned. "It can't have been an easy time for you. With what happened to Sebastian… Is he okay?"

Jim's smile melted away and he just shrugged as he sat down again. "He's fine, I guess. We… We'd kind of broken up before then, so I don't really know much about it." He leaned against Patrick, who put an arm around his shoulders.

Angelo's eyes rested on them a moment longer. "I see…"

"How are you doing, Angelo?" Tony asked quickly. "Is it just as good as you'd dreamed?"

Still leaning on Patrick, Jim noticed that Angelo wasn’t the only one giving them funny looks. Richard kept frowning at them, then looking away quickly.

Angelo soon moved on to taking their orders and then disappeared into the kitchen again.

"I can't wait to find out if he's really a good cook," Tony said.

Jim nodded and then giggled as Patrick kissed behind his ear.

The talk turned to their next projects, earning them more than a few scandalised stares from the other diners, but even Patrick was in such high spirits that he didn’t seem to mind.

"Boys," Angelo scolded as he set down a plate of pasta in front of Ryan. "This is a respectable establishment! I understand you need to talk business, but please try to keep it down a little more."

Jim flashed him his best puppy eyes, but his pout vanished when he noticed the young waiter helping him carry the many dishes for their table. He was rather tall and definitely on the skinny side. His long blond hair was tied back and his cheeks dimpled from the shy smile with which he greeted them. He almost dropped a plate in Richard’s lap when Jim caught his eyes and winked. Yup. Definitely a fan.

They were done with their entrées and waiting for the plates to be cleared when Jim saw his chance and excused himself.

The restrooms were in the back through a small corridor that also led to the stairs. Jim slipped in just as the cute waiter was returning with a box of napkins under one arm.

“Hey.” He smiled up at him. “I’m Jim, but I think you already know that.”

“Uhm... oh... yes... I...”

He was even cuter when he blushed. “You are?” Jim prompted.

“Kev... Kevin,” he managed.

“Nice to meet you, Kevin,” Jim said, taking his hand. “You know Angelo is an old friend of mine, right?”

Kevin nodded, not able to take his eyes off Jim’s hand that was still holding his.

“He promised me a tour of this place, but he’s really busy right now.” Jim leaned a little closer. “I thought maybe you could show me around...”

...

As Jim returned from the basement, he ducked into the bathroom to fix his hair and straighten his clothes. He washed his hands, checked himself in the mirror and then went out to join the others just as the main course was being served.

“What took you so long?” Patrick asked in a low voice. “Are you okay?”

Having put down the first three plates, Angelo looked around, frowning. "Kevin? Where is that boy off to now?" He hurried back to the kitchen, cursing to himself.

There was a brief silence where it felt like the whole room was staring at Jim. Then Patrick stood up.

“I can’t believe you, James,” he said, throwing down the napkin that had covered his lap. “I was right here !”

Before Jim could respond, Patrick had stormed out of the restaurant.

“Wait,” Tony said. “Did you really…?”

Richard sighed. "Go after him, Jim. Fix this!"

His good mood thoroughly spoiled, Jim got up too. “Tell Angelo to send me the bill,” he said and then hurried outside. To his relief, Patrick was waiting by the car.

“Don’t speak!” he snapped, holding the door open for Jim to get in .

...

“Patrick,” Jim began as he followed him through the hall into the living room. “I’m sor...”

“No, you’re not!” Patrick whirled on him. “Stop apologising. We both know you don’t mean it.”

That hurt.

“But I do!” Jim insisted. “I should have realised I was going too far. I didn’t think...”

“You never think!” Tears welled up in Patrick’s eyes. “All you care about is getting off. Whenever and wherever you can. With whoever happens to be there and willing. I’ve accepted that, but James...”

"Tonight you were there." Jim wanted to die. "You were there with me."

"Exactly!" Patrick sighed. "And though I may not have been up for a quick fuck in the bathroom..."

"Stock room."

"It doesn't matter!"

Jim flinched but Patrick lowered his voice as he continued. "But... If you had let me know you were in that mood, we could have figured something out. Snuck outside for some heavy groping. A blowjob in the back of the car." He put his hands on Jim's shoulders, watched him for a second and then pulled him closer to kiss the top of his head. "Hell, James. For you, I'd have skipped the entire evening and gotten us a room somewhere."

Jim sniffed. “I would have liked that.”

To his surprise, Patrick laughed. “Liar.”

“No, I mean it.” Jim got his hands under Patrick’s jacket and began tugging his shirt up. “It was kind of rubbish. I just got caught up in him being so starstruck and all.”

“James...” Patrick pulled his hands away. “If you had to fuck all your fans, you’d never have time for making another movie. Or for me.”

“I’m not that popular,” Jim scoffed and reached up to kiss Patrick, but he leaned away.

“Yes, you are, James. And rightly so. I can’t fault any of them for wanting a piece of you.” Patrick lifted his hand to stroke Jim’s cheek. “But I’m not sure I’m cut out for this. I’ve never been good at sharing. Even watching you on film drives me crazy.”

"My films?" Jim gasped. "But that's my job. My dream. You can't ask me to…"

Patrick silenced him with two fingertips to his lips. "I won't," he said softly. "I knew what you did before I even met you. I can live with that. It's all the other stuff. The other men… I know that's also a part of who you are, and I'd be lying if I didn't sometimes enjoy you being all apologetic and eager to please, but… James… It's just not right. You know that, don't you? It's not how it's supposed to be when you're together."

Jim knew that. But that was for actual couples. People who were serious about each other. Not for someone like him. Except, the way Patrick was looking at him, his eyes red and almost spilling over…

"Is that really how you feel?" he asked.

Patrick nodded gravely. "Yes, James. I'm sorry. I really wanted this to work, but you deserve someone who…"

"No, silly." It was Jim's turn to interrupt. "I didn't know it was that important to you. I didn't know I was hurting you. I would never have done it, any of it, if I had known."

"You mean…?" Patrick shook his head, looking confused.

"I promise," Jim said, finally stealing the kiss he had been dying for. "I promise. Never again."

Chapter Text

There were some near misses. Especially during long writing sessions with Tony or that time an eager young actor had approached Jim at the pub when he was already several pints into a fun night with the sound guys. But he somehow managed to keep his promise to Patrick. Sure, there was the odd snog or two, but nothing ever got out of hand.

It wasn't easy, but it was worth it. Patrick was happy and he had never stopped spoiling Jim. Gifts and dinners were a regular occurrence and once Patrick had convinced Jim to try on a suit that actually fit him, he had eagerly agreed to accept a rather extensive wardrobe of some of the finest brands money could buy. When work allowed, Patrick would take him on small trips to the country and once even to Paris, where they'd taken in all the sights and then had marathon sex in a hotel suite that made Jim feel like royalty. All he needed was the crown.

His company was doing better than anyone had expected. The combination of quantity and quality seemed to be just what the market was ready for and GOFFT was becoming pretty much a household name in the kind of households interested in gay porn.

Life couldn't be better.

Except Jim was starting to get restless. A kind of restless he had hoped never to experience again.

Patrick would sometimes ask what was wrong, which only set Jim more on edge and the fights were growing frequent. Thankfully the make-ups were as good as ever. But when people at the studio began commenting on it, Jim knew that he had to do something.

That something might very well be Jimmy, a new, awfully pretty twink who'd be auditioning with Jacque that day. Being nervous about his first actual movie, having worked only as a model in the past, the kid had shown up much too early and was pacing the soundstage. So, being the nice and caring boss that he was, Jim invited him up to his office for a relaxing cup of tea.

He'd just gotten Jimmy eased into his lap when the door to his office swung open. He really should remember to lock it.

"Er…" Tony said. "Sorry…" He frowned.

Jim sighed and rolled his eyes. "Can I help you?"

Jimmy jumped to his feet. "I think it's almost time," he said, bolting for the door. "Thanks for the tea."

Jim didn't even bother answering him but just glared at Tony. "Thanks a fucking bunch."

"Maybe you should thank me," Tony said, putting his hands on his hips. "How's Patrick?"

"Patrick's none of your business," Jim said, leaning back in his chair. "What do you want?"

"I wanted to ask something about that script, but it's not that urgent. Jim… Does he know? I thought you two had an agreement?"

Jim sighed and gestured for Tony to close the door. "We have," he said. "But things are a bit rough right now. I thought a distraction might help."

"Or make it worse…" Tony shook his head. "Have you talked to him?"

"And say what? ‘You know, darling, I think what I need to get my head straight is some foreign dick’?"

Tony snorted. "As if you'd ever get your head straight ."

"True." Jim giggled.

"Maybe he'd rather know than have you fool around behind his back." Tony shrugged.

"Or maybe he would be happier not knowing…" Jim considered for a moment whether he could trust Tony. He probably could. "I'm scared," he admitted. "I've felt like this before and I tried to do the supposedly right thing. With Sebastian. And that's when it all went really wrong."

Tony sighed. "I understand. But Patrick isn't Sebastian. I think you should find a solution together."

"He's not Sebastian, but I'm still me." Jim stood up and began pacing the office. "Back when things were good, Sebastian would help me when I got… you know… jumpy…" He stopped and looked at Tony, hoping he didn't look as desperate as he felt. "He was good at that."

"How did he help you?" Tony asked. "Maybe you can explain to Patrick. Have him try the same thing?"

"He won't," Jim said, taking a hesitant step towards Tony. "I don't think he can, but maybe…" He felt a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "You're a good friend, Tony. How about you help a fella out?"

Tony frowned. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Come on, Tony." Jim practically pounced on him, shoving him up against the door. "Fuck me! Nice and hard. Like you do for the camera. Tie me up. Make me scream." He kissed him.

Tony softly pushed him away. "No, Jim. I can't do this anymore."

"Why not?" Jim purred, rubbing his palm over Tony's crotch. "I know you want me."

"No." Tony peeled his hand away. "I'm kind of seeing someone. Or at least I hope he sees it that way, but… I just don't want to do this anymore, okay?"

Jim couldn't help but pout. "Why not? If you're not really together yet, he won't mind."

"But I only want him. Off camera. So…" Tony shrugged. "How about I give you a ride home?"

"I don't wanna go home. I have work to do." Jim checked the watch on the wall. Jimmy would be done shooting in an hour or so. Maybe he'd agree to go out to celebrate.

Tony shook his head, but walked to the door. "I guess I can't make you talk to Patrick…"

"That's the only clever thing you've said today," Jim said, returning to his chair. "Don't let the door hit you."

He opened his laptop again and began working on a script that had been annoying him for almost a month. Maybe if he put in a part for Jimmy, he could get the story moving. And they'd have something to discuss. When enough time had passed, he saved the document, rummaged through his drawer for a condom and then grabbed his jacket. Time to go find Jimmy.

"Hey, Jim. Going home?" Richard was waiting in the corridor outside his office.

"What? Yeah." Jim tried to duck around him. He didn't want Jimmy to get away. Not when they'd made such a good start earlier, before they were interrupted by… "Tony? Are you still here?"

"Yeah." Tony pushed off from the wall he'd been leaning against. "I didn't want to disturb your work, but I figured I’d stick around and make sure you got home without distractions."

"Distractions?" Jim sneered at him. "What? Is Patrick paying you to keep an eye on me or something?"

Tony rolled his eyes. "This isn't about Patrick. This is about you!"

"Just be brave and go talk to him," Richard said, stepping up behind Jim. "It's not that hard."

"It isn't?" Jim asked, reaching back to grope Richard. "That can be helped."

"Very funny," Tony said. "Richard?"

"On it." Richard put his arms around Jim and for a moment he thought he'd won. And then he was hoisted over the large man's shoulder.

Not entirely sure if this was part of a game or not, Jim squirmed a little. "Hey! Don't drop me!" But when Richard carried him out to Tony's waiting car, he had to accept that he was not going to have the fun he'd been hoping for and began struggling in earnest. "Put me down!" he screamed. "You can't do this to me! You're fired. Both of you!"

"Good," Richard said. "Then we can finally start dating."

"Richard!" Tony gasped, pressing a hand to his heart.

Together they buckled Jim into the back seat and Tony slammed the door while Richard got in at the other side.

"It's on child lock, and I'll be keeping an eye on you," Richard said. "No way to escape."

Jim crossed his arms and scowled. "I hate you."

…

"James! What happened?" Patrick stepped aside so Richard could carry him into the house.

"Oh, he's fine," Tony said, following them. "We just thought he needed to see you."

"Make sure he doesn't run," Richard said as he put Jim down near the sofa. "We'll be off."

"Run?" Patrick looked back and forth between them. "What's going on? Is this some kind of joke?"

"Yes, they're real funny," Jim muttered, flinging himself down on the sofa in a full body-pout.

"Jim needs to tell you something," Tony said. "He almost made a big mistake. But he didn't go there, and Richard and I would prefer to keep it that way. Because we think you've been really good for him."

"So we brought him to you," Richard concluded.

"I thought you were off!" Jim snarled at them. "Go! Get lost!"

"Alright. Have a good talk." Tony shook Patrick's hand and then he and Richard let themselves out.

“James?” Patrick turned to him. “What’s going on?”

Jim avoided his eyes. “Nothing. I just had a bad day.”

“Bad enough that your friends found it necessary to actually carry you home?” Patrick pulled one of the chairs closer and sat down.

“They’re not my friends.”

“You don’t mean that, James.” Patrick reached out to stroke his hair, but Jim batted his hand away. “What did they mean about you almost making a big mistake?”

He could lie. Talk his way out of it somehow. But he wasn’t sure it was worth it anymore.

“I’ve been good,” he whined. “I’ve been so good. I really have. But I don’t feel good. I feel like shit.”

“James?” This time, Patrick didn’t let Jim push him away. “What do you…?”

“For you. I’ve been good for you. All this time. And you’re so wonderful to me. The things you give me. The things you do. But somehow it all just… it’s not enough.”

Patrick’s tone grew stern. “I’m already spoiling you, James. I can’t give you more.”

Jim shivered and clutched at Patrick’s hand. “This! This is what I want. I want you to be strict with me. I want your disapproval so I can try to do better. So I can ask for forgiveness.”

Patrick fell silent, but held Jim’s hand tight in his.

“Please,” Jim whispered when he couldn’t bear it anymore. “Say something.”

“I’m not sure I understand,” Patrick finally said. “But it sounds like all the cheating wasn’t as much about the sex you were having with them as about… apologising to me?”

Jim suspected that wasn’t the whole truth but it might work.

“Yes! Because right from the start, when I was still seeing him , every time you forgave me, it made me feel so good. Made me feel wanted. I also feel good when you take care of me. Give me stuff. Or when we’re just together. But it’s not the same. It’s not so… thrilling.”

“Is this about the SM stuff your ex made you do?” Scowling really was a good look on Patrick.

“Probably,” Jim admitted. “And he didn’t make me do it. Not all of it. Some of it I liked. A lot.”

“The punishment part?”

Jim nodded eagerly. “Not the actual pain, but the feelings. Getting caught being naughty and having to face the consequences. And then being told I was good when it was all over.”

“And that’s why you do stuff like this? To make me punish you?” Patrick didn’t sound entirely disgusted. Maybe it was worth a try.

“Maybe?” Jim said, aiming for vulnerably mischievous. “A bit.”

Patrick let out a deep sigh. “Come here,” he said, gesturing to Jim who scrambled over to sit in his lap, snuggling into his embrace.

“I’m willing to give it a try,” Patrick said to Jim’s delight. “For you. But I would prefer if we could just pretend you’d been bad. Or maybe it could be about smaller things?”

“Like leaving dirty clothes lying around?” They’d had their fair share of tiffs about that.

Patrick laughed. “Yes. Things like that.”

They shared a long kiss and Jim found himself finally starting to relax for the first time in weeks.

Patrick ordered food in from one of Jim’s favourite restaurants and they spent the evening watching telly and occasionally snogging lazily.

As they were getting ready for bed, Patrick suddenly asked: “What kind of punishment?”

“Oh, uhm…” Jim hesitated. Sebastian had always been the one to suggest things. To define them. “Well, as I said, I like the way you talk to me when you’re disappointed. I wouldn’t mind if you go even further in telling me off. Making me kneel is good too. And of course letting me give you a blowjob to show I’m sorry. I like that.”

Patrick nodded. “That sounds good.”

“There’s one more thing,” Jim said, figuring he might as well try. “I would really really love it if you would spank me. It doesn’t have to be hard!” he added quickly when Patrick looked startled. “Just… bend me over the bed or your knees or… whatever you want, and give me a couple of slaps.”

Patrick didn’t look convinced, so Jim raised a teasing eyebrow. “But I must warn you. It makes me really horny, so you will have to fuck me afterwards.”

“Oh, in that case.” Patrick pulled him close. “You better start picking up after yourself or face the consequences."

Chapter Text

The consequences came three days later, when Patrick returned from work to find a pair of Jim’s socks in the sofa.

“James?” he called as he walked up the stairs.

Jim was waiting on the bed, pretending to read. He’d spent the last half hour preparing himself so they wouldn’t have to waste any time, and was only wearing a t-shirt and pants. Might as well make things easy.

Patrick stopped in the door and watched him for a few seconds. Then, obviously trying to sound angry, he ordered: “Get over here, James.”

Jim put his book down and got slowly off the bed. "Is something wrong, darling?"

"You know there is," Patrick said, crossing his arms. "I told you to get over here."

Barely suppressing an eager grin, Jim sauntered over to him. "Have a good day, darling?" he asked, kissing Patrick's cheek.

"Better than you're about to have." Patrick grabbed Jim's wrist, not too tightly but firm enough to drag him back over to the bed.

Jim's heart almost skipped a beat when Patrick sat down on the edge. Finally!

"I think you know what to do," Patrick said, doing a pretty convincing job of pretending to be the one in charge of the situation.

Jim played his part flawlessly, squirming a bit as if trying to get out of it but then meekly settling down over Patrick's knees, his bum in the air.

He had kept his pants on, preferring to have them pulled off him, but he'd forgotten to tell Patrick about this detail. The first couple of slaps were dulled in both sound and impact by the clothes, and Jim was about to protest when Patrick, thankfully, paused and pulled the pants down, just enough to expose his bum. That was kind of sexy. Efficient.

Unfortunately, that was the only exciting thing about it. The spanking was barely more than a few playful pats on his cheeks, nowhere near enough to heat up his skin or give it any kind of colour.

But Jim kept on hoping that Patrick was only warming up, right until he felt a probing finger against his hole.

"All ready for me, I see," Patrick purred. "Such a good boy."

Patrick came first and had to finish him off with his hand. All in all a thoroughly underwhelming experience.

Jim didn't feel the least bit guilty when he logged onto Gomorrah's website. He clearly had some needs that Patrick couldn't fulfil. He would have to find some other way to take care of it, if they were going to get through this.

Booking a session proved surprisingly easy. He didn't even have to provide his real name to create a profile, as long as he selected to pay on arrival. That was fine with him. He didn't want to risk Pete cancelling on him.

Which he definitely would have, judging from the disgusted look he gave Jim when he walked into the room and saw who his client was.

"How dare you show your face here?" he snapped. "After what you did to Sebastian. And you haven't even been to see him, have you? It's been six months and he hasn't heard a word from you."

"Like he'd want to hear from me." Jim rolled his eyes. "Surely he hates me. After everything that happened."

"He should," Pete huffed. "I can't believe all the stuff you put him through. And then you just ran off with some rich sugar daddy."

"He's not my sugar daddy!" Jim cried. "He's my… my partner. And he's good to me. But not like that!"

"Whatever you say, Jim. But if he's so good to you, what are you even doing here? Surely you didn't just come to talk." Pete gestured around the room which Jim had picked specifically for the chains attached to both the wall and the ceiling over the bed. "But you're kidding yourself if you think I'm going to scene with you. Or fuck you, or whatever it is you had in mind."

"Oh yes, you are!" Jim practically charged Pete, actually managing to drive him back a few steps. "I already paid for this. It's your job!"

"Get a refund," Pete snapped, pushing him back. "I'm not a whore."

"You fuck people for money. That's the very definition of a whore."

"Well, if that isn't the dirty little pot calling the kettle black."

"I'm an actor!" Jim almost took a swing at him but stopped himself in time. "It's not the same thing."

"No, it's not," Pete countered. "I make people feel good. Or bad, if that's what they want. You just lie back and let the whole world watch you get fucked over and over again."

"People enjoy watching me." Jim pressed closer again. "You enjoy watching me. I haven't forgotten the first time we met, you know." He tried to kiss Pete, but was pushed away again.

"Well, that was obviously before I knew you, wasn't it?"

"How about that time in the dungeon? You knew me well by then and you still had no trouble sticking your dick in me. Over and over again ."

Pete winced and Jim couldn't help but grin.

"You never told him, did you? You're playing all high and mighty with me, but you never told your best friend that you fucked his boyfriend, did you?"

"I fucked you many times. Most of them right in front of him."

"Yeah, but it wasn't the same."

Something was clearly bothering Pete. Jim just needed to figure out exactly what. "Because we were alone or…" Oh! "Because you made me use my safeword. Because you were taking care of me and he couldn't…" Jim laughed in triumph.

"Shut up!" Pete grabbed Jim by the collar, spun him around and slammed him up against the wall. "Shut the fuck up!"

"Oohhh…" Jim giggled. "Hit a nerve there, didn't I?" He squirmed a little, not really trying to get free, but Pete still tightened his grip.

"What happened during that film was not my fault," Pete spat. "That was between you and Sebastian. That was him being too weak to defy you and you being too bloody stubborn and selfish to see what you were doing to him."

Now it was Jim's turn to glare. "Are you saying it was my fault? I wasn't the one who caved. Who ruined the whole thing."

"Yes you were, you little shit!" Pete raged, practically lifting Jim off the floor. "You never learned your own limits, so you thought you didn't have any. You stupid, arrogant prick!"

"I want to know my limits," Jim gasped, surprising himself. "Why do you think I'm here?"

"Oh you do, do you?" Pete was practically snarling now, but he did loosen his grip a little.

Jim didn't realise what was happening before he was picked up, for the second time that week, and carried over to the bed.

He'd brought down a couple of different floggers and paddles but Pete brushed them all aside and flung Jim down, face first, and then pulled him by the ankles until only his chest was on the bed.

Jim whimpered as his hands were forced behind his back and kept in place with a firm grip around his wrists. He was glad he'd chosen to wear loose trousers when they were yanked roughly past his hips and pushed down to his knees.

"Don't forget your word," Pete hissed in his ear and then he began.

It wasn't the harshest spanking Jim had ever had, but it was pretty close. Still, as the smacks kept coming down fast and hard and Jim's skin felt like it was on fire, he realised that something was very different. This wasn't going to stop. It was not a prelude to sex. It was not leading to anything. Just more and more pain and the agonising feeling that it was all his own fault.

He gasped and almost cried colonel, but stopped himself. Not yet! Maybe he really did deserve this. For what he'd put Sebastian through. And Patrick. And Richard and Tony. Maybe even Sherlock. Could Pete be right? Had Jim always been too caught up in himself to see what he was doing to the people around him? Had he been too selfish to care? Was he really that bad?

"Tiger!" he gasped.

Pete paused. "What was that?" he asked, his tone still hard, but no longer angry.

"Nothing," Jim muttered, turning his face into the bed to hide the tears in his eyes. "Go on."

Pete didn't hesitate, but perhaps he slowed down a bit. Jim couldn't be sure, because by now his whole body was trembling with violent sobs.

He never did say colonel, but eventually he was crying so hard that Pete stopped and instead pulled him up into a fierce hug. "You bloody idiot," he muttered in Jim's ear. "Aren't you ever going to learn?"

"Maybe," Jim sniffed, clinging to him.

Pete laughed. "We can only hope," he said and then turned Jim back to the bed. "Lie down on your stomach. I'm going to get something to ease that burn, okay?"

"Thanks…" Jim climbed carefully up to the middle of the bed and settled down. "How much of my hour is left?"

"As much as you need." Pete knelt next to him and began spreading a cool, soothing cream on his tender skin.

Jim smiled into the pillow. "Can you hold me? Just for a bit?"

"Of course I can, Jim." Pete put away the cream and lay down. "But don't try anything, okay?"

"I wouldn't dream of it."

Chapter Text

"What do you mean, they were 'polite'?" Jim had jumped up from the sofa and was glaring at Patrick.

"Well…" Patrick couldn't quite meet his eyes. "They understood that it was still only a rough cut and that music would be added and all that, but they…"

"They didn't like it?" Jim barely kept from stomping his feet in frustration. "How could they not like it? It's a masterpiece!"

"It's very unique, James, but…"

"Unique?" He looked around for something to throw, but before he could grab the heavy vase off the mantle, Patrick caught his wrist and pulled him into a crushing hug.

"The idea is not bad," he said softly in Jim's ear, ignoring the curses and attempts to bite him. "It's just not… It doesn't quite work."

"How could it not work?" Jim demanded. "That part was written for me! And I got the best actor available for the other lead."

"I know, honey, I know." Patrick kissed the top of his head. "It just… They said there was too much sex for the story to ever really take off and too much story for the sex to get really… Well… sexy…." He sighed as Jim deflated in his arms.

"You're saying I can't write," he sniffed, hiding his face in Patrick's chest. "That my script sucked."

"Not sucked, James. It just… Maybe it needed a little more work. You've never written something this long before, have you?"

"No…" Jim let himself be led over to the sofa and slumped down.

"See?" Patrick pulled back so that he could wipe the angry tears off Jim's cheeks. "You can't expect to do perfect on your first try, James."

Jim had expected to be perfect, though. To be better than… better than others.

"It's not a total loss," Patrick said after giving him a moment. "I talked to Chris and she's pretty sure we can save it. If we lose most of the talking and just make it about two guys shagging at work wherever they can get away with it."

Jim giggled in spite of himself. "Sounds like fun."

"Exactly," Patrick said. "And then we'll cut the last bit about them starting their own business and just have the climax be the confrontation with the boss."

"Maybe…" Jim beamed up at him. "Maybe we could shoot a new scene. Where they get their revenge in the conference room. Right before a meeting, so everybody walks in to find them shagging on the big table. Right between all their biscuits and buns."

Patrick snorted. "You'd like that, would you?"

Jim nodded eagerly. "Only, I've never done it on a table that large, so I may need to do some research before I can write it." He glanced through the open door to the dining room.

"No, James! We're not doing it on that table. We're having a dinner party tomorrow."

"But Patrick!!!"

…

"We're not trying to find your limits today," Pete announced.

Jim wanted to protest, but that was against the rules Pete had set down before they started. He was naked and kneeling on the floor in front of Pete, who was sitting, fully clothed, on a wooden chair in the middle of the room. Jim had never been in this one before and had, at first, been surprised by the lack of a bed. But it made sense. Pete had been very firm about sex not being a part of their arrangement.

In fact, Jim wasn't entirely sure what that arrangement did entail, but he was glad that Pete had agreed to see him again. Professionally.

Jim had insisted on one rule: no marks. Patrick couldn't know he was visiting the club.

Other than that, Pete was in complete control.

"Last time was very educational," Pete continued. "You let me take you right past your breaking point and then, instead of breaking down, you somehow used it to… I'm not sure… unlock some stuff that you've been bottling up inside, I guess. Your feelings about what happened."

Jim bit his lip and kept his head down, but Pete reached forward and took hold of his chin, forcing him to look up.

"Am I right, Jim? Were you crying for Sebastian?"

It wasn't just for Sebastian, he supposed, but he didn't know how to explain it so he just nodded.

"You’ll have to talk to him eventually, Jim." Pete let go again. "But I don't think you're ready yet." He straightened up in the chair and patted his thigh. "Hop on. Face down, arse up."

Not bothering to hide his grin, Jim quickly got to his feet and then draped himself over Pete's lap, holding onto the leg of the chair to keep his balance.

"Let's see if we can quiet that busy head of yours." Without further ado, Pete began spanking him.

At first Jim let himself just enjoy the familiar sensation, stifling his moans as he began growing hard against Pete's thigh. Eventually, though, the burn of his skin and the steady rhythm of Pete's hand became a source of frustration rather than lust and he began squirming and whining.

"That's it," Pete said, hitting just a bit harder. "You are always so impatient, Jim. Wanting to move on to the next thing. Except when there's a camera on you, then you can go on forever. Even when the pain is driving you crazy."

"I was fine, it was Sebastian who…" Jim squealed as Pete landed an extra hard blow on his abused skin. "No marks!"

"Sorry…" Pete stopped spanking and rubbed Jim's cheeks gently. "But I wasn't talking about the thing in the dungeon. Sebastian told me what happened. With your first film."

Jim tensed, feeling his eyes begin to sting.

"I think that’s what lies at the root of your problem, Jim." Pete pulled him up and made him sit in his lap instead, wrapping his arms around him. "You've been pushing your own feelings and needs aside so completely that I think you might not even know them anymore."

"Wait a minute!" Jim said, trying to pull away. "Last time you said I was selfish! How can I both be selfish and not know what I want?"

"Oh, you know what you want, alright," Pete said, laughing. "It's knowing what you need that's the problem. You'll happily ignore your own well-being as well as that of those around you if it gets you closer to your goal. Sounds familiar?"

Jim pouted and shook his head, but Pete just laughed. "I might know exactly what you need. Next time." He gave Jim's bum a soft pat to make him stand up.

"What? Are we done already?" Jim stood, but crossed his arms and stared down at Pete. "That was not a whole hour."

"I'll give you a discount," Pete said, getting up too. "Get dressed and go home, Jim. Your… boyfriend probably misses you."

…

There was a knock before Tony stuck his head around the door of Jim's office for the first time in almost three weeks. "Jim? Do you have time?"

“Sure.” Jim closed his laptop. “What’s up?”

Tony opened the door further and gestured next to him with his arm. A moment later, Richard followed him into the office.

"Hey," Richard said, looking slightly nervous. "How are you doing?"

"Did you get in trouble?" Tony asked. "You know, for us... getting you home?"

“No, it’s fine,” Jim said. “We had a talk.” He waited for them to close the door. “But you kind of overreacted. I was just having a bit of fun.”

Tony frowned. "Did Patrick think we'd overreacted?"

“He was concerned,” Jim said. “But we cleared things up.”

“That's good," Richard said. "So... you're not mad at us?"

“Not about that,” Jim said, frowning sternly at them. “But you know my policy about dating colleagues.”

Tony and Richard glanced at each other.

"We aren't..."

"Look, we can't just deny..."

They halted, both blushing and looking away.

Jim looked back and forth between them, dragging it out for as long as he could. He giggled. “You’re adorable together.”

"Wait, what?" Richard looked at him sharply, while Tony muttered: "We are..."

“I only regret that I’m not in a position to celebrate with you.” He winked at Tony. “Or don’t you play like that anymore?”

Tony shuffled his feet. "Not really. Only on screen..."

"We’re just too busy to involve other people." Richard grinned.

“Well, I guess I don’t have to worry about anyone taking my place,” he teased them. “And I do still get to enjoy you at work.”

Richard chuckled. "So you've been missing us already?"

“Of course,” Jim said. “We did some awesome stuff together. Didn’t we?”

"We sure did," Tony said, smiling.

Richard turned to him and gave him a small nod.

"Oh, right," Tony said. "I just remembered I have this thing I need to do. See you in a bit, Richard." He gave him a quick hug and whispered something in his ear that sounded suspiciously like: "good luck", then left the office again.

Jim raised a questioning eyebrow. “What’s up?”

"I kinda need to talk to you. You know, about your 'rule'..." Richard sat down with a sigh. "I really do like Tony. And being with him."

“I’m not going to split you two up,” Jim said. “Or fire either of you. I may put you in fewer movies together. I hope you understand.”

"Yeah, I do," Richard said. "But... I don't know if I should keep doing this. It's... it's been different. Since I'm with him. And combining it with a day job has been pretty tough, so... Yeah."

“Oh...” Jim felt himself nodding. “I see. How about Tony? Does he feel the same way? About work?”

"No." Richard smiled. "He still really loves it. And I still really love seeing him do it. So... It's not like us getting together will ruin your business." He winked. "Besides, you might want to fire me anyway."

"Oh?" Jim got to his feet and walked around his desk. "Why?"

Richard looked down at his hands. "I... I've been keeping something from you."

Jim tried to keep his face blank in spite of a rising sense of panic.

"Something about Sebastian," Richard continued. "And about Patrick."

“Wha...what?”

"I only knew how badly I'd fucked up when you took us for dinner at Angelo's," Richard said. "I saw Patrick and... It was him, wasn't it? The guy I'd seen you with at the park. When you were still with Seb."

“Fuck...” Jim thought back to that day so long ago when he’d offered Patrick the first of many apologies. Of course they’d been seen. Wasn’t it just his luck that it was by one of the few people in the city who’d recognise him? “Yes, It was Patrick. Our second... date...”

"I... thought something else was going on." Richard was still looking at the desk as he spoke. "The way it looked... With him being an older rich-looking guy, and you so determined to start a studio... I thought it was about money. I thought you'd started working the streets. And I was worried about you, so... I told Sebastian at Angelo's farewell party.”

“You told him...?” That was right before… before everything had gone to hell.

"Yeah. What I thought I'd seen." Richard looked up and bit his lip.

“That I was a... prostitute?” Jim could feel himself bristling.

Richard got up from the chair and took a step away from Jim. "Look, I'm sorry. It was stupid. I should have talked to you first, but you were so intense... I thought you'd just deny it. And Seb always looked out for you. It seemed the best thing to do."

“You were concerned?” Jim cocked his head, still approaching slowly. “Or possibly jealous that you weren’t the only one I was fucking on the side?”

"Sebastian was the only one who had any right to be jealous," Richard said, frowning. "And even then, I doubt he ever was."

“Then what was the point?” Jim snapped. “Why tell him anything at all?”

"Because he would keep you safe!" Richard shook his head. "It's my fault he's in prison. I didn't think he'd go that far. But I'm sure he just wanted to get the money because he wanted you to live your dream."

“Keep me safe? Because I’m incapable of taking care of myself? Which is also the reason why you saw it necessary to carry me kicking and screaming home to my boyfriend, because heaven forbid that silly little Jim make any decisions for himself!”

"We were just-"

“Get out!”

Richard's eyes widened in fear, and he left the room almost at a run.

After slamming the door shut, Jim collapsed against the wall, panting. Was everyone convinced he was that useless? That he’d be a danger to himself if left unsupervised?

He gritted his teeth and clenched his fists so hard he could feel his nails cutting into his palms. Was there no one he could trust?

Chapter Text

"Do you want to talk about it?" Pete hesitated in the middle of pushing Jim's shirt off his shoulders.

"Talk about what?" Jim asked. He probably sounded defensive, but there wasn't much he could do about it right now. Since Richard's confession, his mind had been racing at what must surely be astronomical speed. It explained so much. Sebastian being tense on the way home from Angelo’s party. Keeping his distance while they were preparing for the movie and—Jim could hardly think about it without cringing—why he had let Jim push him so far in the dungeon. Yes, Jim had been desperate for the movie to succeed, but not anywhere near as much as Seb would have thought. He had been trying to protect Jim. To save him. And Jim had used him. Broken him.

"Are you going to hurt me today?" he asked Pete eagerly. He needed it. Needed to be punished.

"No," Pete said, and laughed at Jim's expression. "I have something else in mind. Something that might fit your current mood a lot better."

Jim frowned but didn't protest as Pete continued undressing him. When he was completely naked, he let himself be led over to the bed where Pete made him sit down, his hands folded in his lap.

"Don't move," he said, and went over to the bag he had left by the door.

Jim almost groaned when he saw the lengths of rope. Being restrained while fucking was fun, but Pete had made it abundantly clear that they were not doing anything remotely sexual. So what was the point?

But he had agreed not to protest or ask questions unless he wanted to stop. And it wasn't like the ropes were going to hurt him or cause him any discomfort beyond boredom and mild irritation, so he followed Pete's directions to move his arms closer so they were touching from elbow to wrists. As Pete tied them together with a lot of knots and patterns, Jim had to admit that it looked sort of pretty.

Then Pete bent his arms up so that his folded hands were just under his chin and secured them in place with the ropes passing numerous times around his sides and lacing together in the back. Jim wished he could see what it looked like, but figured it might ruin the mood if he asked Pete to take pictures.

When he was done, Jim could not move any muscles in his arms or shoulders without the ropes straining against his skin. It was vaguely claustrophobic but nothing he couldn't handle. He tried helping as much as he could when Pete moved him up to lie on the bed, but there wasn't a lot he could do.

Once Jim was settled on his back, Pete first covered his soft cock with a pattern of ropes that probably looked almosts like panties and then began tying his legs together with the same technique as his arms. Jim resisted the urge to wriggle his toes just to prove that he still had some control over his own body. For the final touch, Pete shifted him onto his side and bent his legs up behind him, securing them to the rope around his hips. Jim was completely helpless.

But he wasn't exposed. His arms and the ropes were covering his nipples and his bum was pretty inaccessible too. Even his cock was shielded from view and would probably not have room to get hard if it had been so inclined. But there was nothing arousing about this. Nor was it as uncomfortable as he had feared. In fact it was almost… peaceful?

As Pete stood back to admire his work, Jim looked up at him and broke the rule.

"What happens now?"

Rather than scold him, Pete laughed again. "Oh Jim, this is the best part. You're going to love it."

"Love what?" Jim asked, unable to imagine what Pete could do to him in this position.

"You lie there, Jim," Pete said. "Just lie there and feel."

He walked over to his bag, got out a book and then moved out of Jim's line of sight.

"Seriously?" Jim called after him. "You're just going to read? Is that what I'm paying you for?"

No answer came and for a brief moment of blinding panic, Jim thought that Pete had just left him there. But no, he wouldn't. And he couldn't have. Jim could see the only door to the room. He would see if Pete left.

So he was playing some kind of game with him. Just sitting there, waiting. And it was pretty obvious what he was waiting for. He was waiting for Jim to crack. For Jim to cry colonel. To show him that he did indeed have limits and that Pete could take him to them.

Well, Pete obviously didn't know Jim as well as he thought he did. Jim had only booked him for an hour and with all the time he had spent on the fancy rope-work, there couldn't be more than 30 minutes left before he'd have to go meet his next client. Jim could handle 30 minutes easily.

Except, he realised, he didn't actually know if Pete did have another appointment after him. It was pretty early in the afternoon and he seemed to remember Sebastian telling him that they did most of their work at night. And there was also that time, the first time Jim had hired Pete, when he had cancelled another client to stay with him and hold him. Would he do that again if Jim hadn't given in before his time was up? Would he outwait Jim no matter how long it took? Eventually, Jim would need to get free. He would need a bathroom. He would have to get home to Patrick. Pete would win. Though was it really that much of a win if Jim just told him he didn't have time to play anymore? Probably. Jim had never understood all these rules.

Sebastian had insisted that it wasn't about winning or losing. But that was between partners, wasn't it? The sub did what he could to please and obey his Dom, who in turn gave him pleasure and protection. They worked together. But this wasn't like that at all. It was a business arrangement. Pete was providing him with a service, but it was Pete who had total control over what that service was. In a way, Jim supposed, it was a lot like therapy. He had some issues and Pete, who arguably knew a lot more about this sort of thing, was helping him through them using various techniques.

The spankings had been very helpful. He had somehow used them to drive Jim beyond the walls that he used to keep his mind in check and discover some of the things that had been hiding there. Discover feelings he didn't know he was capable of. And they had helped him relax. He'd been feeling a lot better afterwards, going home to give Patrick some of that slow, tender sex that he seemed to favour. And Jim had enjoyed it. A lot.

But what was the point of this, if it wasn't about limits? Pete had said that he should lie there and feel. Feel what? The ropes? Sure, it was a unique feeling, but there was nothing that special about it. Or did he mean feeling how helpless he was? How restricted. Well, that in itself wasn't entirely novel to Jim. He might not have been tied up so completely before, but Sebastian had been pretty good at immobilising him. Jim smiled at the memory of how it felt when he had lain completely trapped under Sebastian's body, a hand around his wrists and Sebastian's feet somehow pinning Jim's legs to the mattress as he pounded into him.

Jim almost whimpered as his cock stirred against the ropes. This was not what he should be thinking about right now. At all.

He giggled softly. That was actually quite impressive. Not only had Pete bound his body, but to some extent also his thoughts. There were certain things Jim couldn't let himself think about, no matter how tempting it was.

And it was a shame, really. It had been a long time since he'd let himself linger on the pleasant memories of Sebastian. And there really were a lot of them, if he were honest. More pleasant than bad, at least from the first many months they had been together.

Such a shame it had all gone wrong.

In spite of himself, he recalled what he had seen at New Year’s. How painful it had been. At least Pete hadn't taken him to that room yet. Could he even make himself go in there?

The way Sebastian had moved. The sounds he had made. Jim could never have given him that. He was right to seek it from another guy. Maybe more than one? Had Sebastian been doing his own exploring while Jim was messing around with Tony? With Richard?

The pang of jealousy utterly failed to present itself.

Of course it did. They were no longer together. Why should he care who Sebastian had slept with back then? Jim could hardly expect him to be faithful when he himself had been fucking around.

They'd even talked about it once, he remembered. How Sebastian liked the idea of Jim being with others. How he didn't see the need for them to be sexually exclusive. Jim had been the hesitant one, so Sebastian had suggested they only play with others together. But he had made it quite clear that he wouldn't mind if Jim had fun on his own. They'd never really talked about it again, and Jim had, he supposed, figured that the original rule still held: that they could only sleep with others when together or for a film. He had just assumed…

Would Seb have minded if he knew Jim was sleeping with others? Would he have been jealous?

"I doubt he ever was." Richard's voice sounded so clearly in Jim’s mind that he almost thought he was somehow there in the room. Had he been right? Had Sebastian been okay with Jim's affairs? Had he always known?

Jim tried to take a deep breath to steady himself, but the ropes wouldn't let him. His pulse was pounding in his ears and his throat was feeling tight and sore.

Had it all been in his own head? The hiding and the guilt? The resentment? Would Sebastian have been happy to be with Jim and just go out and let some other guy fuck him when the need arose? Would that have been enough for him?

Of course it would have. Sebastian had never, in any way, as much as hinted that he wanted anyone but Jim. That he wasn't perfectly content with what they had.

Jim gasped through his tears, his chest aching. He had had it all. Life had been perfect. And he had ruined it. Him and him alone. There was nobody else to blame but Jim and his fucking messed-up brain, refusing to let him feel happy and safe.

"Sebastian!" he cried, shaking and straining against the ropes.

In a flash, Pete was at his side and with a few careful snips of a large pair of scissors he had Jim's legs and torso free. Leaving his arms still bound, Pete pulled him into a tight hug and Jim buried his face in the broad chest, sobbing. "It's all my fault," he gasped. "I pushed him away. I drove him to… oh god, Pete… I ruined him."

"Shush," Pete said, caressing his hair and back in long smooth strokes. "Seb is fine. You didn't ruin him. He's in prison and he's missing you terribly but… Nothing is broken that can't be fixed."

Jim didn't believe that last part, but he was glad to hear that Sebastian was okay.

"There's nothing left to fix," he said. "I made quite sure of that with the way I treated him. And even if we were to try, who's to say I wouldn't just mess it all up again?"

"We all mess up," Pete said, placing a soft kiss on top of Jim's head. "That's no reason for not trying again. And again. And who knows, maybe you've learned something from all this? Maybe you won't make the same mistakes?"

"No," Jim let out a small laugh. "I'll make new ones."

"And so will he," Pete said. "And you'll scream and fight. You'll cry and then you'll make up."

"I like making up."

"See? Don't give up yet, Jim."

There was a long silence during which Jim's tears dried and Pete kept rubbing him soothingly.

"I'll think about it," Jim said finally.

"Good.” Pete pulled away and tugged at a knot by Jim's wrists that made the final rope fall away. "You do that and then meet me back here in four days. Our work is not done."

Chapter Text

"Come on, Jim, be reasonable. How did you think it all happened? Magic?"

Jim glared up at Patrick, almost stamping his foot in frustration. "I know it's not magic. I'm not stupid," he said. "I just don't see why I have to waste my time on it. It's so boring!"

"I'm not asking you to take over," Patrick said, rolling his eyes. "Heaven knows that would be a total disaster. I just want you to take an actual interest. It is, after all, your company. Don't you even care how it's doing? What kind of money you’re making? How the brand is evolving?"

Jim glanced over at the dark-skinned woman in the short cream-coloured skirt suit who sat on their sofa, looking more than a little amused. "I guess…" he huffed, crossing his arms and sinking down into one of the soft armchairs.

Relieved, Patrick turned to smile at their guest. "So, Alice. You've met Jim now. Do you think you can work with him?"

“Of course,” she said, tilting her head and smiling at Jim. “He’s far from the only one who thinks accounting is boring. He’s never immersed himself in the intricacies of the numbers before, after all.”

"Why should I?" Jim countered, definitely not pouting.

“Fair point,” she said, smiling. “You’re an artist. This isn’t what it’s all about for you. But it can still be useful to know what’s going on.”

"I just need to know if people like my movies," Jim said. "And if they pay me enough that I can make more. I need to know how many projects to line up, when to play it safe and when to take a risk on something big."

Patrick stroked his hair and smiled down at him. "Don't worry, Jim. You'll get to make a long film. It's just not time for it yet. Isn't that right, Alice?"

“Correct,” she said, “and being here while we talk it through will actually answer all of those questions.”

"If I haven't fallen asleep by then." Jim had to keep himself from pushing Patrick's hand away as it settled on his shoulder. He was not in the mood for this right now. He had an appointment with Pete tomorrow and his mind just wouldn't focus on anything else. What did Pete have in mind this time? What was Jim going to learn?

He was vaguely aware that Patrick and Alice had gotten out a couple of laptops and were comparing spreadsheets or something, Patrick occasionally inviting him to take a look at some of the numbers. Jim couldn't care less and could hardly be arsed to smile and nod, pretending that he understood whatever they were trying to explain to him. He just wanted this to be over so he could be alone and actually devote his mind to something useful.

When Alice had finally left, Patrick came over and pulled Jim up from his chair, giving him a long soft kiss.

"I know that wasn't easy for you," he said, stroking Jim's cheek. "But you were very patient. I'm so proud of you."

Jim hoped his smile was convincing. He did not feel particularly proud right now. Just exhausted.

Patrick didn't seem to notice because he kissed him again and then took his hand, leading him towards the stairs. "Somebody has earned a reward, I think."

Jim tried to look thrilled at the prospect.

Half an hour later, he escaped to the bathroom and locked the door. That was, beyond a doubt, the most boring sex he'd ever had! On and off camera. Was Patrick losing interest in him? Or was it the other way around?

Not wanting to go back in just yet, he decided to run a bath. With any luck, Patrick would be asleep by the time he returned to the bed.

…

Jim paused in the door, reluctant to get any closer to the large bed where an intimidating selection of whips, floggers and paddles were laid out as if on display.

"What is this?" he squeaked, suspecting that he looked very much like a rabbit trapped by a pack of savage dogs. "I thought we weren't doing pain stuff."

Pete kept a straight face for a few seconds, then laughed. "Sorry for not warning you," he said. "I just really wanted to see your face. Priceless!"

Jim huffed. "You did all this for a joke?" he asked, scowling up at him.

"No," Pete said, gesturing for Jim to get in so that he could close the door. "Tonight you're getting to know some of these. But not on the receiving end. I'm going to teach you how to use them."

"To use them?" Jim could feel himself tensing up again. "On whom?"

"On me, eventually," Pete said, smiling. "But for starters, we'll just be hitting pillows."

"Why pillows?"

"Because they won't take any real damage if you mess up?"

"Damage?" Jim eyed the tools apprehensively. "I didn't think it was actually dangerous."

"Oh yes, Jim." Pete went over and picked up a whip, slowly uncoiling it. "If you don't know what you're doing, you can really hurt somebody with this stuff." He caught Jim's eyes and lowered his voice a little. "Even experts can go too far. As you should know by now."

Not wanting to dwell on that particular thought, Jim went over to the bed and picked up one of the lighter floggers. "Even with this?"

Pete nodded. "If you don't have control over it, you could hit someone in the face. Or genitals." Jim winced. "But even when aiming for the torso there are dangers. You need to know where everything is and how much force you can use."

Jim almost snorted as Pete turned one of the pillows over to reveal a very detailed print of a man's naked bum and back. "Now look here," Pete said, taking the flogger from Jim. "This is where you'll want to concentrate your efforts."

...

Panting, Jim dropped the whip and then reached up to rub his shoulder. "When do I get to have a go at you, then?"

Pete laughed and picked up the pillow, shaking it back into shape. "Not tonight," he said. "Though you're definitely making progress."

Pouting a little, Jim sat down on the edge of the bed. "Not even a little tap?" he begged.

"Not even that," Pete said, sitting down next to him and reaching for his shoulder. "If you turn a little, I can help you with that. I've never seen anybody be so enthusiastic their first time. I thought you would have given up an hour ago."

Jim closed his eyes and moaned as Pete began massaging the sore muscles. "I was having way too much fun to give up."

"Oh yeah? Imagining the pillow was somebody specific?"

"Perhaps…" Jim let out a deep groan. "Fuck, that feels good. Don't stop."

When Jim was feeling close to melting, Pete loosened his grip a little, just rubbing gently. "Have you talked to him?"

Jim didn't even have to ask. "Not yet," he said. "I needed time to think. And I'm still not convinced that he will want to talk to me. I mean, it's not like he has tried calling me or anything."

"Jim… You changed your number."

"Right… But you might have given it to him." Jim turned around to look at Pete accusingly.

He shook his head. "Not without your permission, Jim. What do you take me for?"

Abashed, Jim lowered his head. "Sebastian's friend?"

After a pause, Pete nudged his shoulder. "I'm your friend too, Jim. Don't you know that by now?"

"I guess…"

…

If Jim had known Sebastian would actually agree to see him, he probably wouldn't have put in the request. It had seemed like the easiest way to appease Pete. And his own guilty conscience. But now here he was, going through a cursory security check along with all the other friends and relatives here to visit the inmates.

He was assigned one of the small tables in the visiting room and took his seat, surrounded by eager girlfriends, sobbing mothers and apprehensive children. As the door at the other end of the room opened, he looked down. He wasn't ready to see Sebastian again. Not like this.

"You're really here." Sebastian's voice sounded a little hoarse, but it was unmistakably him.

Jim nodded and waited for Sebastian to sit. “It’s... been a while.” Jim hated how flat his voice sounded. This was his Tiger. Sure, a lot of shit had happened, but he was still Sebastian. The first man to ever truly hold him and make him feel safe.

Sebastian nodded, frowning a little as he sat down and studied Jim's face. "Are you okay? Do you need something?"

Jim made himself meet Sebastian’s eyes and smile. “Pete thinks we need to talk,” he said, ignoring the sudden tightness of his chest.

Sebastian shook his head. "It's not Pete's decision. What do you think?"

“I think there were a lot of misunderstandings. Unsaid things.” He looked away again. “I heard about what... what Richard told you.”

"Richard?" Sebastian looked confused for a moment, but then he winced. "Right. Back at Angelo's party. Yeah." He looked away. "I... I was going to talk to you about that. What he saw. But then Frank called and everything went so quickly... If you were desperate enough to sell yourself, there was no way I could let that conversation get between us and the film." He swallowed. "I'd say I regret that now, but... The studio is doing well, right? Pete told me..."

“Sebastian.” Jim sighed. “I wasn’t selling myself. I was screwing around. Because I was horny and desperate. Not for money, just... just to get off.”

"But... In a park? With some old bloke? You could have had anyone!"

“He’s not that old.” Jim couldn’t help squirming a little. “And he’s been really good to me.”

Sebastian snorted. "What? You're in love with him now?"

“No!” Jim scoffed. “I’ve just been staying with him. I’m using my old flat as a sort of workshop. For writing and... research.”

"Oh, research? Is that what we're calling it these days?" Sebastian smirked.

“Some of it.” Jim relaxed as he grinned and winked at Sebastian. “Some of it is just fun.”

"Prison has been surprisingly much fun , too." Sebastian grinned and leaned back in his chair, winking at a dark-haired guy a few tables away.

“Oh?” Jim leaned forward, his eyes gleaming. “Should I be taking notes? Our next big movie: When the Jailhouse is Rocking ?”

Sebastian snorted, but then looked Jim in the eyes. " Our next big movie? You mean... As in your company's. Right?"

Jim hesitated, then shrugged. “Yeah. Of course.” He had no right even hoping Sebastian would ever want to work with him again.

"It's okay, Jim. I understand you don’t want to work with me again. I... really fucked up." Sebastian sighed. "I'm surprised you’re even talking to me."

“No, wait!” Jim reached for Sebastian’s hand before remembering he wasn’t supposed to touch him. “You didn’t fuck up. I did. I pushed you too far and didn’t even...” He had to swallow before continuing. “I didn’t care. Then.”

Sebastian looked at Jim's hand as though it was a particularly venomous spider. "You don't have to say that. I know what I did."

“You did what I told you to do,” Jim said. “Pete helped me realise that. How often I was actually the one in charge. We’re... exploring that. Professionally.”

"I see. With more research," Sebastian deadpanned.

“More like tutoring,” Jim said. “Showing me the ropes.” He lowered his voice. “And whips. And paddles.”

Sebastian raised his eyebrows. "You've seen them before..."

“But I haven’t used them.” Jim mimicked his expression. “Not actively.”

"So you're going with our old film idea?" Sebastian asked. "Dominating a larger guy? Or... did the old guy want it?"

Jim winced. “He’s not into any of that. Neither giving nor receiving. I’d forgotten how boring sex can be.”

"Yeah. There are some guys like that in here too." Sebastian smirked. "Fortunately also plenty of others..."

“So you’re shagging your way through half the prison population?”

"Maybe not quite half ," Sebastian said thoughtfully. "But there's definitely fewer Absolutely Straight guys than I thought."

“Especially when they see you?” Jim teased. “I can imagine you’ve had a lot of them begging for it.”

Sebastian shrugged. "They know I'm available for all kinds of fun. I've actually had help advertising that by some homophobic bastard who tried making a fuss. There hasn't been a peep out of anyone since I wiped the floor with him. Word travels fast in here."

“You got into a fight?” Jim asked, frowning. “Did he hurt you?”

Sebastian snorted. "What do you think? He didn't get the chance."

To his dying day Jim would deny the wave of relief that washed over him. “I know you’re strong and good at being in control,” he said softly. “But some of these guys in here must be dangerous. Vicious.”

Sebastian shrugged. "Most of them have just been stupid. Like me."

“You’re not stupid,” Jim said, reaching out for him again. “I’m sorry if I ever made you think that.”

"Jim." This time, Sebastian let him take his hand. "I tried robbing the club where I'd worked for years. And I got caught. Which part of that story is not stupid?"

“Compared to the stuff I got up to?” Jim asked. “I’d rate it as a bit daft.”

"But it got you what you wanted," Sebastian pointed out. "What I did cost me everything I ever wanted."

“It got me my studio,” Jim said, looking away. “Which is awesome. But... I lost stuff too.”

"It didn't have to be like that," Sebastian said, with a sigh.

Jim turned the words over in his mind. In a way, Sebastian was right. Jim didn’t have to give up anything he didn’t want to. He’d tried changing himself for Patrick, but it obviously wasn’t working. They weren’t working. And GOFFT was doing better than he had dared hope. Surely some of it had to do with his own talent and definitely a fair share of luck. But he had also come to realise that Alice had a large part in it.

Would she continue to work with him if he and Patrick split up? Where did her loyalties lie?

If he left Patrick, he could start taking lovers again. Engage in some proper kink. Maybe even find a sub willing to let him practice on them. And maybe in time, when Sebastian was released...

"Visiting hours are almost over!" one of the guards announced, startling both Jim and Sebastian.

"Fuck," Sebastian muttered. "Will... Will you be back?"

“Of course I will... Tiger...” Jim grinned, feeling himself blush.

Sebastian's eyes widened and he swallowed. "They'll allow us to hug. Now. If we want."

He did hesitate a second, but then Jim nodded and got to his feet, stepping to the side of the table.

Sebastian almost pounced on him, crushing him against his chest. "I missed you, Kitten. So much."

“Missed you too, Tiger,” Jim whispered. When Sebastian loosened his grip, Jim pulled back, just enough to look up at him. Their eyes met and then Sebastian bent down. But their lips had only barely touched when they were driven apart by a harsh: “All right, that’s it, Moran. Break it up. Visiting hour is over.”

Chapter Text

"So how do I find a sub?" Jim asked, putting down the paddle and sitting on the bed next to Pete.

"Aw, honey," Pete said teasingly, making puppy eyes at him. "Are you saying I'm not enough for you?"

Laughing, Jim gave him a soft shove. "You have been an excellent teacher, but that's all this is. Training. I think it's time I try the real thing. The negotiations. Taking control…"

"Having sex?"

"Yeah, that too."

Jim waited while Pete got go his feet and, wincing slightly, walked over to study himself in the mirror. "Nice colour. I think there may even be a little bruising this time. You're a quick study."

"You're a good teacher," Jim said, lying down on his back, hands behind his head. "But seriously… I can't just roam the club, propositioning anybody I think might be a sub. I mean, not only am I bound to offend someone and step on a lot of toes, but if you're right, many of these people actually know who I am. It would be very awkward."

Pete picked up his kilt and began fastening it. "Well, there are various places online," he said. "Sort of like dating services but more specific. You could try there. Make a profile."

Jim considered, then shook his head. "I don't want them to come to me. I don't want someone to pursue me. I've had enough of that."

Pete came over to join him. "That makes sense, I guess. Considering how we've all been fawning over you."

Jim nodded. "I want to pick him. To approach him. To be the one in charge of things, right from the start."

Pete snorted and Jim glared at him.

"What?"

"Don't get ahead of yourself, Jim. You may be good with whips and paddles, but it's still all very new to you. If you try to seem more experienced than you are, you're bound to screw up."

"So be honest?" Jim asked. "Something like: 'Hi, I'm a total noob at this, but would you like to be my guinea pig? I promise I will do my best not to put you in the hospital'?"

"Maybe not that honest…"

…

You: Hello there, I'm James. I saw your profile on TieMe and it sounded interesting. I would really like to get to know you better and see if we are compatible.