Chapter Text
"Bbin-ah what do you want to do when you are older?" Shotaro asks, as he helps Wonbin, who may be mobile enough at 5 years old, but still struggles a little with big puffy jackets, get into his jacket. They are about to go outside and play in the snow.
Wonbin hums loudly, pulls up the zipper all the way, looks up at Shotaro who just got up and held his hand out, waiting for Wonbin to grab it. Instantly, Wonbin's lips curl into a bright, gummy smile, as he grabs Shotaro's hand and holds it tight.
“I want to marry Taro Onii-san!”
Shotaro laughs warmly, gently squeezes Wonbin's hand and leaves the house with him without replying.
On this day, they spent the whole day outside having fun, laughing and playing until the sun set. When they returned in the evening, Shotaro’s mother had been in the kitchen, talking to Wonbin's mother, looking anything but happy.
“Sho-chan, welcome back. Did you have fun?” She smiles, but Shotaro can see it's forced, her brows still furrowed and looking worried. “Yeah, Bbini and I practiced snowboarding. He did so well, I fell down more often than him, right?” Wonbin laughs happily as he runs to his mother, hugging her warm body as she reheats Wonbin's red cheeks with her hands. “Taro Onii-san is not so good at snowboarding. I had to hold his hands almost the eeeeentire time~”
Shotaro’s mother reaches up, gently strokes over Shotaro's cold cheek and brushes his unkempt hair to the back. “Sho-chan, I want to talk to you. We should go home early today,” she says in Japanese, knowing that no one will understand her. Shotaro suspected that something is wrong, so he simply nods.
“Bbin-ah, do you mind bathing together some other time?” Shotaro turns to Wonbin who is still being coddled by his mother and trying hard to push her away from trying to fix his hair.
He understands Wonbin's mother’s feelings all too well, Wonbin is a really cute kid. Smart for his age, so talented at sports and just really really cute. Thankfully, Wonbin almost never pushes him away when he squishes and kisses his round and soft cheeks. This time, when Shotaro suddenly talks about postponing their little night ritual, his round cheeks puff up even more.
“Why? Nande?” Wonbin pouts cutely as the corners of his eyes turn down sadly. Shotaro crouches down and hugs Wonbin. “We will bathe tomorrow, okay? I have to help Okaa-san with something. You can bathe with your brother today, hm?” Wonbin immediately makes a sour face and looks up at Shotaro's mother instead, trying to charm her by blinking prettily. “Okaa-san~ Please!! Can Taro Onii-san stay? Pleaaaase~” Shotaro's mother laughs heartily and leans down, taking Wonbin from Shotaro's arms and lifting him up onto her lap. Although Wonbin's cheeks were round puffy, he is very light and skinny and easy to carry around, even for someone older.
“Bin-chan, I know you had plans. I’m really sorry. But you have to learn to bathe without Sho-chan, too. He won't be here to do that with you forever,” She says gently while pressing her cheek against Wonbin's. Wonbin frowns. “Of course he will. We will get married when I’m older, then we will always be together. Right, Onii-san?”
Again, Shotaro smiles, just like he did earlier when Wonbin said the same thing. Shotaro's mother, however, seems not so amused by Wonbin's child-like thoughts.
“Bin-chan, when you are older, Sho-chan will already be 30. He will-”
“Okaa-san, it’s okay. I will just get Bbini ready and come back, okay?” Shotaro quickly lifts Wonbin out of his mother’s embrace and flees upstairs towards the bathroom. Inside the bathroom, Shotaro helps Wonbin get out of the many layers of winter clothes, as the hot water fills the bathtub.
“I’m really sorry Bbin-ah. But you know, if you go to bed quickly we will see each other sooner. I don't have to take any extra lessons tomorrow, so I will be a bit early, too. We can practice snowboarding again or do whatever else you want to do.”
Wonbin stands there obediently, allowing Shotaro to do his duty as his borrowed ‘older brother’ (no way would he let his real stupid brother bathe him.), but it doesn't stop him from pouting. “Okay… but you promise we bathe tomorrow, right?”
“I promise.”
Shotaro links his pinky finger with Wonbin's, leans in to kiss his cheek, turning his cheek so Wonbin can kiss his back and then helps Wonbin get into the bathtub. Once he leaves, Wonbin's mother enters the room, asking Wonbin if he had fun today, probably to take his mind off the disappointment. Shotaro’s smile disappears as he faces his mother again downstairs.
The next day, Shotaro does not go to school. Instead, he spends the day packing, wondering if he will be allowed to say goodbye to Wonbin.
He couldn't even say anything to his friends in school, only send them messages that he is leaving Korea and he doesn't know when he will come back. He was close to starting university and probably would have parted ways with some of them anyway, but Wonbin being only five and having known Shotaro all his life and being closer to him than his real siblings, Shotaro knows he will be heartbroken. Frankly, so is he. Wonbin is like his real brother, he can't imagine not seeing him every day anymore.
This is not fair.
“Sho-chan, the taxi is here. Your brother is already in the car, so please get in, too.” Shotaro nods and grabs his two suitcases. On his way through the hallway, he still sees the photos of his family hung up to the wall. Photos of his parents alone, photos of him with his brother. Photos of him with Wonbin. His eyes sting, as he tries to blink away the tears threatening to spill. It's no use anyway, he knows he has to leave. He passes the suitcases to the taxi driver, who immediately turns to lift them neatly into the car. Shotaro turns to the house across the street; Wonbin's house.
Did Wonbin's mother tell him? Is he crying right now? Did he fall asleep crying?
Shotaro feels sick just thinking of Wonbin crying and wishes he could take him with him- or stay in Korea. But he can't. He just stares at the door as one tear slowly rolls down his cheek. As the tear rolls off his chin, the door suddenly opens and Wonbin is there, hiding halfway behind the door, crying miserably while looking at Shotaro.
“Bbini-” Shotaro chokes up. He can't help himself, runs towards Wonbin and hugs him tightly who immediately wraps his small arms around Shotaro.
“Please don't go. Onii-san, please don't go. Ikanaide!” He sobs uncontrollably, mixing the few words of Japanese he knows into his desperate pleas. Shotaro can only hug Wonbin closer.
“I’m sorry Bbin-ah… I’m really sorry…” Shotaro knows he can't tell Wonbin the reasons, he wouldn't understand anyway, so all he can do is apologize while his heart aches for having to leave Wonbin behind. “Onii-san- Hyung-” Wonbin sobs, trying to hold onto Shotaro with all the strength in his small hands. “I will- I will come to Japan!! I will study hard!! I will marry you. You have to marry me, okay?” Shotaro doesn't understand why Wonbin is talking about marriage again, but he nods anyway, even if he knows it will never happen. Maybe because he knows it will never happen, it's easy for him to nod and just agree to whatever Wonbin is saying. “Okay??” Wonbin asks again, almost yells at him from being unable to control his emotions.
“Okay, Bbini… Okay. It’s okay. It will be okay.”
Wonbin's mother finally grabs Wonbin, lifts him into her arms so Shotaro can leave and even though he is crying himself, he does as his parents demanded.
He gets into the car and leaves his life in Korea behind.
***
It’s now been about two weeks since Wonbin has landed in Japan. 15 years have passed and he is now 20 years old. He has finished the first week of introductions, student parties and meeting the people in his dorm. Everyone is nice and interested in hearing about why he is studying in Japan, if he likes Anime and Manga. The only ones Wonbin knows are the ones he has watched with Shotaro growing up, but he knows he can’t talk so much about Shotaro.
He remembers his family reacting nicely at first, always pinching his cheeks, stroking his hair and tell him, ‘Silly Bbin-ah.’ Wonbin never understood until he got older and realized that marrying a boy is not so easy and that more than ‘just love’ is needed. Laws, for example, which Korea is lacking in. Japan as well, he has learned shortly after. Aside from the fact that not many people seem to have a good impression of same-sex relationships.
Wonbin remembers a big fight he had with his mother when he turned 14 and started taking Japanese classes in school. When his mother had bragged to family friends about how smart he is and that he will have it easy joining the top universities in Korea later. That his extra classes in Japanese will put him at an advantage. Wonbin, when he overheard that conversation, had told her that he was learning Japanese to study in Japan. He wanted to graduate in Japan. Live there. Find Shotaro. And marry him. That was the first time ever she yelled at him and told him to stop saying childish things. To grow up. He can’t marry Shotaro and Shotaro is gone.
At that time, Wonbin cried so much. It was the first time his mother told him he couldn't be with Shotaro. It was the first time Wonbin came across the laws after trying to find comfort online and realized that his mother might be right.
But it didn’t stop him. Since that day, six years have passed and Wonbin is now standing here, in Japan. Looking at the ceiling of his small room, thinking about if this is what Shotaro saw, too, when he joined university. Wondering how long it will take to find him. Compared to the 9.6 million people living in Seoul, Tokyo is filled with over 14 million people. Over 14 million people, who are unaware that the most precious person, Wonbin’s soulmate and destined partner, is among them.
Usually, Wonbin spends his time at home, reading, learning or working out. But he knows, in order to find Shotaro, he needs to step outside. He is still naturally more quiet and shy, nothing compared to lively, curious Shotaro, but Wonbin is determined and strong-willed. So when his dorm mates ask him to go out together, he immediately says yes.
This is how Wonbin ends up in his first club in his life. He did drink with friends in Korea, but he never visited a club before. Being in one in Japan was a whole different experience as well. It didn’t seem wild, like what he expected, most people just dancing nicely, drinking and laughing loudly. He looks around curiously, surprised to see so many different people being close. Not just boys and girls, but he sees girls kissing girls, boys touching boys. Something he would probably not find in a regular club in Korea.
“Hey, Wonbin, do you dance?” One of his dorm mates asks. Wonbin hides behind his glass of sake - surprisingly soft in taste but stronger than one might think, Wonbin has learned - and shakes his head. “Are you sure? Why don’t you try?” Someone else asks, but Wonbin shakes his head again. “Maybe later. I think I just want to stay here.” And it’s true, Wonbin hasn’t scanned through all the people yet to make sure Shotaro isn’t among them. Ever since arriving, Wonbin has been hyperfocused on every person he passes, trying to make sure not one person passes by unnoticed. In a dark club like this with people moving around so much and the lights flashing, it’s a little harder than in broad daylight.
“Alright. Just watch us then. And when you get lonely, join us!” One of his newfound friends says, as all three he came with get up. As they walk away, Wonbin can hear one of them saying ‘I thought Koreans are womanizers.’ Wonbin just sighs, takes another sip of his drink and watches the group of boys have fun together, flirt with some girls. Wonbin, on the other hand, is back to his mission. He scans through every face on the left side, one by one, even the girls he makes sure to look at closely - just in case Shotaro is dressed up for whatever reason. When he finds no one, he focuses on the people in the middle, mentally leaving a red mark on every person that is not Shotaro.
As his eyes move further to the right, they come to a halt when he notices something. Pretty, bow-like lips, flashy ear rings, black hair partially styled back with gel, a mole right underneath the right eye and when their eyes meet, Wonbin's heart stops for a moment.
“Shotaro…” He mumbles, the loud music swallowing his soft words and the shock they carry. Wonbin blinks, scans the person’s face from the chin up to their eyes again, but there is no doubt. This is him. This is Shotaro.
Wonbin can't believe this is happening, can't believe he is finally seeing Shotaro again after 15 years. He is wearing tight clothes, pants ripped around the thighs, shirt ripped around the arms and stomach, not revealing anything, yet making him look incredibly sexy. The grin on his pretty lips dizzyingly attractive, Wonbin isn't sure he is still breathing. He sees him turn his face, lean close to a woman, and although Wonbin can't fully make it out because of the lighting, he is sure he saw him kiss her neck. But right after he sees him pull a man close with one hand on his ass. Wonbin watches Shotaro grind against him, very obviously flirting, whispering something into his ear.
Although none of what he is seeing is similar to the image he had of Shotaro, similar to the Shotaro who used to play with him all day from the moment he came from school until Wonbin fell asleep in his arms, Wonbin can't help thinking that Shotaro is the most beautiful person he has ever laid his eyes on. Compared to everyone else, he is sparkling. Shining. Lighting up the room. Wonbin's heart is pounding against his chest and he knows he is falling in love with Shotaro all over again.
Wonbin wonders if he should walk up to him, casually hug him and tell him he has been looking for him. Or should he flirt with him like the others are? Should he grab him the way Shotaro grabbed that man and kiss him?
Wonbin is so caught up in his deep thoughts trying to figure out how to approach Shotaro that he doesn't realize Shotaro has noticed him staring; until he is in front of him smiling sweetly.
“What’s up, pretty boy?” Shotaro says with a flirty raise of his eyebrows, completely catching Wonbin off-guard who almost drops his glass. Thankfully, he manages to catch it again and holds onto it tightly. “E-Excuse me?” Wonbin replies, overwhelmed by Shotaro suddenly standing right in front of him, flirting with him and calling him pretty.
There is no way Shotaro would not recognize him, right?
“You have been staring at me for at least 100 hours instead of dancing, so I wondered if that's your way of asking me if I wanna dance with you. What do you say, pretty boy?”
Shotaro holds up his hand and Wonbin stares at it as if he had never seen a hand before, eyes wide and in shock. Shotaro is, undoubtedly, flirting with him and is, shockingly, not recognizing him.
Wonbin is confused.
“I-” Wonbin stutters, but closes his mouth again when he notices it's shaking too much. It's the first time he is talking to Shotaro in 15 years, he didn't practice being more confident only to stutter like an inexperienced teenager (that he technically is inexperienced even if no longer a teenager didn't matter).
“My name is Shotaro. What about you, pretty boy?”
When Wonbin doesn’t take his hand, Shotaro takes his drink out of his hand and finishes it in one go, the grin on his lips suggestive and playful. Wonbin swallows hard.
“My name is Wo-” Again, Wonbin just barely stops himself, feeling like maybe he should not tell Shotaro right away that he is his childhood friend when he is flirting with him. “Tsubasa, my name is Tsubasa,” He finally introduces himself and smiles a little awkwardly. “Tsubasa?” Shotaro asks back, looking visibly surprised. “You look Korean. Are you mixed? Raised in Japan?” Wonbin quickly shakes his head. “I’m just a student. My- My grandmother gave me this name. She was married to a Japanese man.” Wonbin doesn't know where this sudden story came from, but he is glad that he seems to have sounded convincing as Shotaro simply nods.
As Shotaro had just finished Wonbin's drink, he offers to buy Wonbin a new one and Wonbin considers declining at first, but keeps quiet instead. This may not exactly be how he planned to meet Shotaro, but it didn't matter. Shotaro's attention is on him and Wonbin can't help being a little excited that Shotaro is even flirting with him.
Wonbin has worked hard on being less shy because he knew he needed to look hard to find Shotaro (who would have thought he would find him so quickly haha....), but now he can put all his work into practice. He swallows down his nervosity, looking around the club demonstratively, before speaking up: "How come someone like you is flirting with people below your level?" Shotaro laughs, visibly amused. "You think so? Who in your opinion would match my level more?" Wonbin swallows hard again, hoping his voice will not tremble. He steps one step closer towards the other, invading Shotaro's space, thinking of the past few years that built on today, the reason why he moved to Japan. Reminded of his purpose, Wonbin finds it easier to find his confidence and manages to say confidently, "Me," as he waits for Shotaro to make the next step. With their bodies now so close, the next step should be them kissing. Wonbin hopes it will be them kissing.
Shotaro laughs softly and tilts his head a little. He could kiss Wonbin so easily now, but he decides not to...yet. "You are really cute, Tsubasa-kun," Shotaro says in perfect Korean and Wonbin is startled at first. He hasn’t heard Shotaro speaking in Korean in so long that he feels all of his self restraint crumbling as he wishes he could just throw himself at him. But somehow, he manages to hold back. "If I’m cute then kiss me," Wonbin challenges the other back in Korean, hoping that his shameless flirting will come to fruition.
Shotaro seems convinced; he doesn't hesitate and leans right in, his lips pressing hungrily against Wonbin's in the next second. The alcohol they both had mixing together immediately as Shotaro pushes his tongue right into Wonbin's mouth. Wonbin had hoped his first real kiss with Shotaro would be slower and more romantic, but he can't object the way Shotaro is hungrily exploring his mouth either. He tells himself to be more confident, too, and presses into Shotaro's body in return, can't help placing his hands on Shotaro's cheeks right after and holding them gently while returning every movement of his tongue. Wonbin explores and tastes every corner inside Shotaro's mouth, sucking up all of the remains of alcohol until all that is left is Shotaro and nothing but Shotaro.
Wonbin’s other hand naturally finds its way to Shotaro’s hip, holding him in place while pressing further into him. He pushes Shotaro against the table and rubs his bulge against Shotaro’s. In height, Wonbin is a little smaller than Shotaro, but it's no problem as Shotaro bends down for him so readily, gasping in surprise from the sudden friction. He gasps into the kiss and tries to say something, but Wonbin doesn't let him. Instead, he shushes him gently and pushes his tongue back into Shotaro's mouth, pulling him closer with his hand by Shotaro's cheek. With their hips pressed against each other, Wonbin rolling his, Shotaro lets out his first soft moan: "Tsubasa…”
Shotaro is the one to break the kiss, already half hard, as he is looking deeply into Wonbin's eyes that seem so familiar and warm, looking at him like he has waited for him forever. Maybe Shotaro had waited for him, too, and it's why the next words come out of him a little too easily.
"Do you want to go somewhere more... private?" Shotaro asks, surprising himself with how his voice is trembling a little from excitement. Usually, he would ask if the other person has condoms, maybe even offer a quickie in the bathroom, but none of his usual thoughts come to his mind. Something about this boy was so magnetic that he hopes to spend more than just 10 or 15 minutes with him.
Wonbin is ecstatic when Shotaro asks him to leave. With him! But then remembers he still lives in the student dorms and can't bring in guests. "I... don't have my own place yet," Wonbin says, disappointed and scared of losing Shotaro. Shotaro, on the other hand, grins and reaches down, grabbing Wonbin's hand on his hip and pushes it to his back pocket where he keeps his keys. "I do," He explains with a smile. Wonbin doesn't know where he gets the courage to return Shotaro's confident flirting, but he squeezes Shotaro's butt and then replies: “Then let's go.”
Shotaro doesn't even say bye to his friends, they're used to Shotaro disappearing with a hook-up after all, so he just grabs Wonbin's hand and pulls him out of the club towards the subway. They can't kiss no matter how much Wonbin hates not touching and kissing Shotaro, telling himself to stay calm no matter how excited he is to be with Shotaro after so many years. Thankfully, they're holding hands and feeling Shotaro's warm fingers intertwined with his own gives Wonbin a warm, reassuring feeling. It reminds him of when he was younger when Shotaro would always hold his hand so warmly and securely. He has not changed at all, he thinks and smiles to himself. Even if he seemed like he had changed at first glance, since Wonbin definitely didn't expect Shotaro to be so flirty with so many people, but no, the way he is holding his hand is the exact same.
"Is your place far?" Wonbin asks in Korean out of habit as they get into the subway, speaking to the elder just how he used to without realizing it. He looks around curiously, noticing mostly drunk people around them sleeping on the seats or laughing loudly, though all Wonbin can see and hear is Shotaro. "Not so far, just 4 stations and we have to walk a little bit," Shotaro replies in Korean just as naturally and holds Wonbin's hand a little tighter. The feeling, once again, weirdly familiar.
"You’re a student, right?" Shotaro asks back and Wonbin confirms with a slight nod. "First year" He adds. "How lucky that I found you right after you came here," Shotaro says nonchalantly, but his words make Wonbin’s heart skip a beat as he remembers his own thoughts when he first laid his eyes upon Shotaro in the club.
"Found..." Wonbin repeats, once again thinking of how lucky he is to have finally found Shotaro after so many years of being separated from him.
"Oh sorry, did I use the wrong word? I didn't speak Korean in a very long time," Shotaro quickly apologizes; Wonbin realizes only then that he has not been speaking Japanese at all. "No, no, I'm sorry for talking in Korean, I didn't even realize." But Shotaro just laughs. "Actually, I didn't realize either until now, it came out so naturally." Wonbin can't help laughing too hearing that.
"Is your university far?" Shotaro suddenly asks back. Wonbin shakes his head. "I study in...Setagaya..." He answers with a quiet voice, worried about Shotaro's reaction. Shotaro blinks quickly several times before smiling excitedly. "Really? That's so funny, my university was there too!" Wonbin bites on his tongue to hold himself back from saying I know, and just nods instead.
"I studied economics. It was quite tough, but it helped me get a job at a really big company and now I'm basically providing for my whole family. My father got sick when I entered university and had to stop working, so we ended up having quite a hard time, but things are better now." Wonbin just nods as he listens to Shotaro's story, acting like he is hearing this for the first time and like he doesn't know that this is why they never managed to meet again after he grew older. Knowing that this is the reason his family lost contact with Shotaro's family as well.
"Oh god, I'm so sorry for telling you such a boring story," Shotaro apologizes quickly when he realizes what he just said to someone he doesn’t even know, let alone taking home only for a night of fun, but Wonbin just squeezes his hand gently. "It wasn't boring. It must have been hard for you. I'm really sorry." Wonbin says with a serious expression, but Shotaro tries to change the topic again. "No, no, it's really okay! I’m sorry, I think I drank a little too much," Shotaro apologizes while waving with one hand in front of his face to dismiss the topic. Luckily for him, his station is announced right after and he pulls Wonbin out of the subway quickly.
It doesn't take long from the subway until they reach Shotaro’s place and as soon as they get inside and Shotaro drops his keys off inside a tiny tray, Wonbin notices a little photo of Shotaro with...him. When he was little. It's the same picture Wonbin has put up in his room at the dorm, too. Wonbin didn't expect Shotaro to keep a memory of him right near the entrance and couldn't help staring at it, wondering if Shotaro says hello and goodbye to him every day.
Shotaro notices Wonbin standing at the entrance and not coming in and turns around. When he notices Wonbin stare at the picture near the doorway, he smiles. "That’s my brother," Shotaro says and Wonbin turns towards him with a shocked expression, eyes wide. Shotaro laughs. "I usually say that when other people visit me, but he is not really. He is a boy who lived in my neighborhood when I was still living in Korea. He was kind of like my little brother, we would do everything together. We moved back to Japan before I started university and then I sadly lost all contact with him, but that doesn't mean I can't put his photos up, right?" Shotaro says with a wide smile, eyes curled into his usual pretty crescents.
Wonbin can’t believe that Shotaro has kept this picture with him all this time, thinking of him, remembering him, just like Wonbin never stopped thinking of him. He thinks of the little photo he keeps in his wallet of him with Shotaro, one of the last ones they took together with Shotaro's arm around him while Wonbin squished their cheeks together happily. Wonbin remembers that day as clearly as he remembers the day Shotaro left. And every day after.
For a moment, Wonbin thinks of telling Shotaro that he is the little boy from that picture, but before he can speak up, Shotaro had already pulled him inside the apartment and pressed him against the door of his bedroom.
"Let’s stop talking and have some fun, hm~"
The moment Shotaro pushes him against the door and kisses him, Wonbin decides he can spill the truth later and gives in instead. He pushes his tongue back into Shotaro's willing mouth like he did before in the club, but this time, Wonbin’s hands go right for Shotaro's butt and squeeze both cheeks before picking Shotaro up from there. Shotaro quickly wraps his legs around Wonbin's waist for stability as Wonbin carries him over to his bed where he carefully lays the other down.
Wonbin, now on top of Shotaro on the bed, devouring his mouth the way he has imagined so often, finally able to properly taste him, can't help wanting to touch more of Shotaro. That’s when he pulls Shotaro’s shirt up. Shotaro doesn't seem to mind as he holds his arms up for Wonbin to take off his shirt next. Once off, Wonbin pulls away, looking down at Shotaro, seeing soft skin, faint outlines of muscles here and there, he realizes once again that Shotaro is perfect. Ever better than he had imagined. Like he should belong to him.
"Do you like what you see, Tsubasa-kun?" Shotaro asks with a smug grin. He has never heard anyone say something bad, but of course he likes being complimented and hopes for the pretty stranger to do so. "You look perfect," Wonbin says without hesitation and from the way Wonbin is looking at him, Shotaro knows he means it. His gaze filled with a type of sincerity he might have never seen before in someone else's eyes. Shotaro is surprised, but also feels encouraged by Wonbin's suggestive stare, looking at him like he can't believe he is real. Like he is in awe.
Wonbin has prepared himself for this situation plenty, has read about it, practiced on himself, spoken to people online, he did everything he could so that when he is with Shotaro, finally married, they can do all the things a married couple does. He wants nothing more than to take care of him like a good husband. Wonbin has always seen himself as Shotaro’s husband. He doesn't know what Shotaro likes, but he knows he wants to take care of him and finding out what Shotaro is into is part of all that. He isn't scared, maybe a little nervous, but more than anything excited. Excited to finally be with the person he has waited so long to find and be with.
Although he thought their first time would be after they get married, Wonbin knows that it technically doesn't matter. He is Shotaro’s husband no matter the order they do things. So he leans back down and kisses Shotaro again, this time more gently than in the club, but not any less passionately. His hands find Shotaro's hips easily, his fingers stroking gently over soft skin, the outlines of his muscles, the outlines of his body. Swiftly, they reach Shotaro's nipples and Wonbin doesn't hesitate as he gently nudges and tickles both with each hand, enjoying the way Shotaro is panting softly into the kiss. Shotaro seems sensitive there, Wonbin notes happily and makes sure to play with them a little more.
Wonbin tweaks both at the same time with a little bit of pressure and notes the way Shotaro's body squirms underneath him as he lets out a slightly louder sound closer to a moan. With a small smile on his lips, Wonbin tries to swallow each of Shotaro's sounds, as he experiments with the amount of pressure he puts in every tweak to Shotaro's nipples. Then, he pulls back, but only to kiss down his jaw, to his neck, humming softly when Shotaro’s scent fills his nose, and continues kissing downwards until he reaches Shotaro's nipple.
"I’m going to lick, okay," He warns and waits just a little so Shotaro has the chance to decline, but when he doesn't, Wonbin finally leans in and licks over one nipple carefully. Shotaro's body twitches lightly, a small pant leaving his lips once more. Wonbin feels encouraged to go further and licks again, this time more confidently and bravely, pushing his tongue against the little nob, moving it in small circles, letting the tip of his tongue touch the sensitive area around it before closing his lips on them as well and sucking softly.
"Tsubasa-kun..." Shotaro pants and presses his chest up against the other. "If you want, you can try biting," He suddenly says and Wonbin stops for a moment, looks up at Shotaro to make sure he didn't mishear, but ends up nodding. Pleasing Shotaro is all Wonbin cares about and he is happy that the other is telling him so readily what he likes, so Wonbin doesn't waste another second and pulls his lips back. Gently, as carefully as he can, he catches the same nipple he has been licking on with his teeth. Shotaro lets out a very audible moan this time as Wonbin bites down slightly harder and additionally uses his tongue to lick over the abused skin. Wonbin feels playful when he hears Shotaro making the most beautiful sounds he has ever heard and carefully pulls on the nipple until it slips out of in between his teeth. The sharper pain seems to be exactly what Shotaro had been looking for as his body trembles underneath Wonbin while moaning again.
Wonbin pulls back a little more and looks at the other nipple that is graced by a piercing with a short chain hanging below it. Although Wonbin knows they exist and has seen pictures, he has never seen one with his own eyes. Shotaro looks good no matter what, but he does wonder why he would pierce a hole into his body. He reaches over with his hand again and gently touches the chain, pulling on it carefully.
"Why did you do this?" Wonbin asks with a gentle voice, he hopes Shotaro can hear he is only curious and not put off by it. Shotaro licks his lips and grins. "Because it's sexy," He simply replies while pushing his left chest a little up so it's closer to Wonbin’s touch. "I have different ones," Shotaro adds and Wonbin looks down, noticing only now that there are tiny holes in his other nipple as well, even though it’s currently piercing-free.
"My favorite is the one that comes with a long chain that connects both piercings. But don't worry about that, Tsubasa-kun, you're still young and will see more of these in the future. Don't worry about thinking they're weird," Shotaro reassures him, but Wonbin shakes his head. "This is not new to me," Wonbin gently pulls on the little chain again to emphasize his words. "I just thought it's sad you put permanent marks on your beautiful body like this."
Shotaro is a little taken aback when the other refers to him as "beautiful" while looking at him with a soft gaze that reminds him of his ex who has once looked at him like this. Eyes filled with love and care, something he hasn't seen in years and didn't expect to see in someone he literally just met.
"Do you not think I’m beautiful anymore because of the piercings?" Shotaro asks with a laugh, trying to ease the slight awkwardness coming up. Wonbin quickly shakes his head and can't help leaning in to give the elder a reassuring kiss. "No, you are the most beautiful. Like this. Always," Wonbin says as if it's a promise and smiles a little. "I want to play with the other piercing. Where do you store it?" Wonbin looks around for the first time, realizing just now how Shotaro's room looks so similar to when he was 17. Which means…
Wonbin reaches for the drawers next to the bed, opens the upper one, sees a little jewelry box, the exact same one he already had when he was 17, and takes it out. Upon opening it, he sees exactly what Shotaro had described; a piercing and a long chain attached to it.
"How did you know-" Shotaro asks, surprised seeing Wonbin go through his things so confidently and finding the piercing so quickly. But Wonbin doesn't answer, instead he wordlessly takes the piercing and chain out before putting the box neatly back into the drawer.
“Do you mind if I put it on?" Wonbin asks without hesitation. Shotaro thinks for a moment, but decides to nod and just let him. "Do you know how?" He asks anyway, but Wonbin chuckles. "I have ear piercings. It's the same thing, right?" After checking all sides, Wonbin easily finds where to open the piercing. Without saying anything, Wonbin leans down and licks over the slightly softened nub, purposely nudging it more harshly with his tongue which is making shotaro gasp quickly again. "This should be hard enough," Wonbin decides and carefully yet easily manages to put the piercing on. Once done, Wonbin attaches the long chain, removes the small chain on the other and attaches the long chain to the left piercing as well. Wonbin leans back a little and finally takes a good look at Shotaro, his heart skipping a beat. Shotaro looks stunning, with or without piercing, but knowing he put them on makes them special.
"How do I look, Tsubasa-kun?"
Wonbin bites on his lower lip at the question, one hand silently reaching for the long chain that is comfortably sitting across Shotaro's chest.
"Amazing," Wonbin finally says out loud and begins to gently pull on the chain.
As Wonbin pulls on the chain, both of Shotaro’s nipples are stimulated at the same time. A delicious sensation mixed of pain and pleasure running through Shotaro's body and making him moan while also pushing out his chest. Mesmerized, Wonbin watches Shotaro slowly letting go a little more, writhing underneath him, making small pretty sounds that show he is enjoying himself and Wonbin wants nothing more than for Shotaro to keep having fun.
"How much pain do you like?" Wonbin asks while still having a firm grip on the chain. "Mm..." Shotaro hums, licking over his lips. "This is good." Wonbin nods and makes a mental note to not pull stronger than this. "But I need more when I’m more turned on," Shotaro adds with a breathy voice. Wonbin looks down and realizes he has not yet undressed Shotaro's lower body.
Wonbin lets go of the chain and places both of his hands on Shotaro's pants' waistband. "Can I take them off?" Wonbin asks gently with his fingers already curled underneath. He knows why Shotaro invited him to his place, nothing they have been doing so far has been innocent or just a casual hangout with a potential friend, yet he doesn't want to do anything without explicit permission. Permission that quickly follows in the form of a soft, "Go on," followed by the lifting of Shotaro's hips. Wonbin doesn't hesitate and pulls down Shotaro's stretchy pants easily, leaving him with only his underwear on at first. Here as well, Wonbin doesn't waste any further time and pulls them off quickly. With Shotaro's body now fully naked in front of him, Wonbin suddenly realizes again that this is the person he hasn't seen in too long and has been looking for so desperately. And now he is here, underneath him, stark naked and his legs spread for him and, oh, a hard dick. Of course.
Wonbin's hand naturally starts touching Shotaro's thighs, stroking gently up and down near his dick, touching all the spots covered by thin and sensitive skin. Shotaro's thighs quiver with every touch, his dick twitching lightly as well. Although Wonbin has never done this with someone, he is not afraid. He is not afraid and moves Shotaro’s body lower on the bed until he can lie down onto his back and positions himself in between Shotaro's legs. Right after, he helps Shotaro lift his legs over his shoulders and rest on his back. At the same time, Wonbin curls his arms underneath Shotaro's thighs and leans in.
"I'm going to put it in, Shotaro-san."
Wonbin opens his mouth and is about to take Shotaro's hard length into his mouth, when the other suddenly speaks up: "Hyung."
Shotaro's voice is heavy and weak.
"You can say hyung," He adds, making Wonbin lick his lips in anticipation. He hasn't called Shotaro like this in years and being able to do it now before getting even closer to him; saying Wonbin is excited would be an understatement.
"Shotaro hyung," Wonbin repeats, his eyes slightly sparkling up, and then finally takes the tip of Shotaro's dick into his mouth.
The moment Shotaro's dick enters Wonbin's mouth, the other lets out a loud sigh of relief. Wonbin keeps his eyes on Shotaro as he begins to bob his head a few times before stopping at the tip and using only his tongue, swirling it around the length and tasting Shotaro's precum as well as his very own unique taste. Wonbin's hands naturally begin stroking Shotaro's hips and thighs lovingly, matching the pace of his gentle touches with the slow bobbing of his head. It doesn't seem to take long until Shotaro struggles to keep his voice down as soft moans leave his slightly parted lips.
"Tsubasa-kun," Shotaro moans, his hands reaching down to grab Wonbin's that are caressing his body too preciously and holds onto them. "This feels so good."
Wonbin doesn't know why Shotaro suddenly reached for his hands, but he takes advantage of it and immediately intertwines his fingers with Shotaro’s. While holding onto his hands gently, he pushes down carefully and takes a little bit more of Shotaro's length into his mouth, loving the way Shotaro's hands squeeze his while moaning for him so sweetly.
"Fuck," Shotaro curses in Japanese after letting out another loud moan. Wonbin watches the contractions of Shotaro's abs, probably induced by the effort to hold himself back from coming, but knowing that he is making the other feel so good only makes Wonbin want to try harder. Makes him want to see Shotaro unable to hold back and let go. So, without letting go of Shotaro's hands, Wonbin extends one finger and reaches for the chain attached to Shotaro's nipples and pulls on both piercings at the same time.
The moment Wonbin pulls on the chain, Shotaro's hips squirm underneath him and all he can do is let out a cry before he suddenly comes undone and releases inside Wonbin's mouth. Wonbin doesn't wince and patiently waits for Shotaro's dick to stop twitching inside his mouth, sucking very carefully until he catches the last drop and then finally lets go of the chain and removes his mouth from Shotaro's now half-hard and spent dick.
"You don't have to-" Shotaro mumbles breathlessly to let Wonbin know he can spit it out, but before he can finish speaking, Wonbin has already swallowed without saying anything. Shotaro's eyes widen and his dick suddenly twitches again.
"I'm sorry, you didn't have to swallow, Tsubasa-kun. You shouldn't do that with someone you just met."
"I wanted to, Shotaro hyung."
Wonbin leans in and kisses Shotaro's length, then a little higher on the smooth skin where usually pubic hair would be growing, then plants another kiss right below Shotaro's belly button and places one last kiss in between Shotaro's abs.
"I want to taste all of you," Wonbin adds right after his last kiss to Shotaro's body and props himself up after.
Wonbin's unexpected words make Shotaro's heart skip a beat as a faintly familiar warm feeling spreads all over his body. To quickly combat the sudden rise of fluttery feelings, Shotaro grabs Wonbin by his shirt and pulls him up for a deep kiss. As quick as the kiss starts, Shotaro ends it again and pushes Wonbin on his spot on the bed this time.
"Let me repay you, then," Shotaro announces and grabs the edge of Wonbin's shirt to pull it up.
Wonbin watches with curious eyes as Shotaro exposes his body, pulling the shirt up until his upper body is revealed up to his chest. He has imagined something like this before, Shotaro kissing him, Shotaro kissing his body, Shotaro being intimate with him. Yet he wasn’t prepared for how watching and feeling it happen would have his head spinning.
“Wow, I didn’t expect abs like this,” Shotaro says in awe upon catching Wonbin’s well-toned body. “I was fine with just your cute face, but I guess today is my lucky day,” He adds and licks over his lips. With no further hesitation, Shotaro sticks out his tongue widely, keeps his eyes upward to look at Wonbin and then begins to lick.
Shotaro wants to create a show, licks around Wonbin's belly button, along the lines of his deeply formed abs and up towards his chest, all while smiling constantly. He desires to let Wonbin know he is having fun, he is enjoying this and if the smile isn't enough, Shotaro adds little moans to his licks to emphasize how good Wonbin tastes.
In none of Wonbin’s fantasies did Shotaro treat him like this, lick his body with such a satisfactory and wide smile on his lips. The fact that this isn’t a fantasy and, in fact, really happening, is making it harder for Wonbin to keep his voice down. He bites onto his lower lip, his hips twitching a little whenever Shotaro’s curious tongue touches a particularly sensitive spot.
Shotaro’s tongue travels further down Wonbin’s body. His hands curl into Wonbin’s pants and pull on them bit by bit, exposing new skin to taste gradually. It doesn't take long for him to take Wonbin's pants off completely, leaning his cheek on Wonbin's thigh as he gently touches over the outlines of Wonbin's erect dick.
“How far do you want to go, Tsubasa-kun?” Shotaro asks, his eyes fixated on the other’s length and the way it twitches so cutely underneath his gentle touches. “I’m fine if you just want a blowjob. But I’d be happy to do… more.”
The possibility of ‘more’ is all Wonbin needs to hear for his dick to twitch strongly underneath Shotaro's palm and the first dark spot to build. Shotaro giggles, slowly props himself up and looks at Wonbin while grinning. “I like your enthusiasm. Let’s get you ready then, shall we?”
Shotaro doesn't waste any further time and pulls on Wonbin's underwear, removing it in one swift motion and revealing his hard, leaking length. He licks over his lips again, getting his plump lips wet first before leaning down and taking all of Wonbin into his mouth in one go.
“Ngh…” Wonbin whimpers instantly, his legs quivering when he feels Shotaro’s mouth engulf him fully, swallowing around his sensitive length and staying there for what feels like an eternity. Feeling something so warm and wet for the first time, Wonbin doesn’t know what to do with his hands, his hips or his legs. He wants to move, wants to moan, wants to hold Shotaro, wants to say something. But in the end, he just whimpers again and opts for grabbing onto the bed sheets as he looks deeply into Shotaro’s eyes.
When Shotaro finally pulls back, the view is more obscene than Wonbin could have ever imagined. Shotaro’s tongue out wide, saliva dripping down from the tip, streaks of saliva still connecting them.
“Pretty face, hot abs, nice dick, I really had a lucky day, huh,” without taking his eyes off, Shotaro begins to use his saliva as lube, rubbing the wetness all over the hard length while pumping Wonbin’s dick at the same time. “I wonder where the catch is, hm~”
Wonbin’s dick twitches in Shotaro’s hand, he pants softly as his brain repeats Shotaro’s words over and over. The catch, Wonbin repeats in his head and wonders if this would be a good time to tell Shotaro that he has been looking for him. Before he can speak up, Shotaro is suddenly on his feet and walking to his closet, only to come back with a bottle and a small pack which can only be a condom.
Shotaro sits back down between Wonbin’s legs and takes the pack of condom into his hands first, his eyes always on Wonbin. “Tsubasa-kun, are you really 20?” Without waiting for an answer, he opens the pack and takes out the condom, grabbing it by the tip and then stopping.
“I really am.”
“Good.”
Confidently, Shotaro holds onto Wonbin's hard length, keeping it upward as he places the condom on top, putting it on with skilful fingers. Once done, he opens the bottle and squeezes some of the clear substance in his fingers. With his lubricated fingers, Shotaro quickly spreads the slick liquid all over Wonbin's dick and then uses the remains to push two fingers inside himself.
Wonbin watches Shotaro's skilled hands, using things he has read about - condoms, lube - but never touched, seeing Shotaro use the same warm fingers that had just touched him to open himself up. He is mesmerized. To him, Shotaro looks beautiful, ethereal, like a celestial being that is granting him the honor to experience a human’s most natural instinct with him; next to food and water. In just a few minutes, he will finally become one with the person he has loved all his life, finally confess his feelings in a way words keep failing him since meeting Shotaro in the club. But then, Wonbin sees Shotaro take his fingers out after meager three thrusts and climb on top of him, his fingers holding onto Wonbin's dick by the base.
“Hyung, wait. Are you already prepared? You barely-”
Shotaro giggles, still playful and amused. He puts one hand on Wonbin's chest and stabilizes his body like this as he squats right above Wonbin's hardness. “It’s better if it hurts a bit.” Without explaining more, Shotaro already lowers his body weight, ready to take Wonbin in, but is suddenly stopped by Wonbin's firm grip on his hips.
“You prepared me. I would like to do the same with you. Would you let me?” Wonbin doesn't know if he is biting off more with this offer than he can chew, but he wants to learn about Shotaro's body. No matter how long it will take, even if transferring his feelings has to be postponed a little longer, it’s worth it.
Shotaro's playful smirk slowly fades and his lips curl into a gentle smile instead. Wonbin’s grip is not painful, yet firm enough to make it clear he will stop him if he tries to force himself down further.
“Tsubasa-kun, have you ever had a one-night-stand?” Shotaro suddenly asks, still remaining in the same position. He can see from the other’s stare that he hasn't, it's clear from how gentle, almost loving he is anyway.
“It's a fuck. A quick fuck. No need for many words, explanations, or even much preparation. I want you. You want me. Are you not dying to be inside me?”
Wonbin opens his mouth, his eyes traveling down between Shotaro's legs where his dick is still held up by the elder, so close to entering him. And while being inside Shotaro is his wish, what his body desires the most, his heart that is warmly beating against his ribcage to remind him of his love for Shotaro, his heart is making it easy for him to pull Shotaro a little higher up so he can make him sit on his abs.
“I want to be inside you so much,” Wonbin finally says truthfully, his gaze back up so he can look into Shotaro's beautifully twinkling brown eyes again. “But I don’t want this to be tainted by memories of pain.”
Again, there is this gentle, loving gaze in Wonbin’s eyes that confuses Shotaro and, once more, makes his heart skip a bit. No one he has ever taken home has looked at him like this or cared about preparing him. They wanted it done quick and practical, simply relieve themselves and if Shotaro doesn’t come, that's on him for taking too long. He doesn’t know how to interpret Wonbin’s behavior, but he decides to give in. Maybe if he doesn’t fight it his heart will stop behaving so embarrassingly.
“Fine,” Shotaro says and gets up. He turns around, grabs the bottle of lube and as he positions himself with his legs still on either side of Wonbin’s body but this time with his butt facing the other, he holds the lube up behind him. “But hurry up~ I’m getting impatient~” Shotaro gently moves his hips in a swaying motion and grins back at Wonbin.
Wonbin takes the bottle in his hand, swallowing down the nervous feeling because he has never prepared anyone before, Shotaro is trusting him, and, oh my god, his butt is so round and soft-looking, he feels like he is losing his mind the more he sees of Shotaro’s body. He knows he can’t let his excitement and nervosity get the better of him, so he takes one quiet, deep breath, and squeezes a generous amount of the lube in his hand.
With one hand, he grabs one cheek, ignoring the urge to just squeeze it endlessly and focuses on pulling it to the side, revealing Shotaro’s hole that still looks very tight and like it barely had any lube on it. This definitely would have hurt a lot, Wonbin thinks to himself, glad that he stopped Shotaro. Shotaro begins to move his hips again, seemingly trying to tell Wonbin to hurry up without using his words, so Wonbin pushes all his thoughts to the back of his mind and directs his full attention to the person right in front of him.
First, he spreads the lube generously around the area, going up and down, before stopping at the puckered entrance. Wonbin presses one finger against it, a little surprised by how quickly the muscles give in and pushes his finger in. Yet, he feels like it’s not wet enough and pulls his finger back out quickly, scoops up a bit more lube from nearby and pushes back in again, this time going all the way. He moves his finger in gentle circles, pressing against the ring of muscle from all directions.
Wonbin keeps repeating the same motion until he feels Shotaro’s inner walls relaxing and pulls his finger all the way out. Once he squeezed out more lube from the bottle, Wonbin uses two fingers this time, pushing them carefully against the tight hole. He manages to push them in to the first knuckle, but stops when he feels Shotaro suddenly tighten up around him.
“Does it hurt?”
Shotaro lets out a small hum and pushes his butt back towards Wonbin. At the same time, he lowers his upper body further until he can lean and hold onto Wonbin’s leg. “Feels really good. Your fingers are so long,” Shotaro finally explains and closes his eyes.
Wonbin smiles, relieved that he didn't hurt Shotaro despite his lack of practical experience. Before pushing his fingers deeper, he curls them instead. Wonbin remembers reading about the prostate being somewhere near the entrance, so he feels around the softness, determined to learn about all the places in and on Shotaro's body that make him feel good. As he feels Shotaro loosen up even more, he slowly reaches deeper, curls his fingers again, moving them in careful circles until, all of a sudden, Shotaro winces and whimpers.
“Tsubasa-kun…” Shotaro moans, Wonbin instantly feeling encouraged to go for the same spot again. Carefully, he massages the area, his fingers touching on the spot around it. It doesn't take long until Shotaro begins to tremble, his whimpers growing louder.
“Tsubasa-kun,” Shotaro moans again, his voice breathless and urgent. “This feels so good, oh my god…” Wonbin's cheeks are burning. Compared to before when he kept himself busy with sucking on Shotaro's dick, fingering him wasn't even half as consuming. He feels too aware of everything, Shotaro's body, how it feels, how warm it is, his voice sweeter than honey calling his name again and again.
Wonbin is determined to continue and make Shotaro come. He can feel his own dick aching from wanting the other, but he doesn't mind missing out on it as long as Shotaro feels good. But Shotaro seems to have other thoughts as he suddenly grabs Wonbin's hand and stops him. “I can't believe I’m saying this, but,” Shotaro sighs loudly, trying to calm himself down. “I don't want to come like this.”
Shotaro doesn't wait any longer and gets up, Wonbin's fingers automatically slipping out of him. Despite whimpering at the empty feeling and no longer having his prostrate played with, Shotaro turns around again, positioning himself on top of Wonbin's length once more. His breath is heavy, his limbs still trembling a little from pleasure. Wordlessly, Shotaro puts one hand on top of Wonbin's abs this time and then, finally, lowers his body on Wonbin's hard dick.
Wonbin watches with big eyes, unable to say anything as Shotaro seemingly impatiently hurries on top of him. Within what felt like seconds, he feels Shotaro’s tight hole swallow him whole. Shotaro doesn't waste any time and sits down so quickly that Wonbin can't do anything but groan as Shotaro's warmth engulfs him fully.
Overwhelmed, Wonbin reaches for Shotaro's hips, wanting to just hold him for a moment, wanting to take a moment to understand he is finally united with the person of his desires, of his dreams, but Shotaro doesn’t seem to want to take it slow. Almost as soon as Wonbin is fully inside, Shotaro begins to move his hips and rides him with ease.
“Hyung-” Wonbin tries to say, but all he can do is moan. He is completely overwhelmed by all of his senses. As his eyes take in the breathtaking view of Shotaro on top of him, his hands feel his warm, soft skin, his ears are indulging in Shotaro’s beautiful voice, as his nose is fully enveloped by Shotaro’s scent. All he can do is surrender to everything that is Shotaro and allow the elder to take up all of him.
Wonbin remembers the days before leaving for Japan, when he daydreamed about finding Shotaro. In his daydreams he declared his love to him, his devotion, got on his knees and pulled out the ring he had prepared, proposing to him on the spot. Shotaro had, of course, accepted. They kissed each other and, just like here, ended up having their first time together. But his daydream couldn't be compared to the real thing. No matter how often he imagined touching, kissing or feeling Shotaro, nothing came close to how it is to actually have him.
I love you so much, Wonbin thinks as he watches Shotaro move on top of him quickly. Shotaro’s eyes are closed, he is panting and moaning softly, enjoying himself fully while allowing Wonbin to experience this magical moment with him. Although Wonbin feels thankful, so grateful that Shotaro allows him to be inside him, he thinks it's not enough to show his undying love for the other.
“Hyung,” Wonbin speaks up, his voice weak and trembling. He tightens his grip on Shotaro's hips and makes him stop. “Can we change the position? I… I want to… I want to do it.” Shotaro grins, doesn’t reply and simply gets up. As soon as Wonbin’s dick slides out of him, both let out a small whimper, eliciting a shy giggle from each of them.
“I’m honored you are enjoying being inside me so much, Tsubasa-kun.” Shotaro sits back, waits for Wonbin to prop himself up and direct the position he wants. Wonbin quickly gets close to him again, pecking Shotaro’s lips once before helping Shotaro lie back on his bed and get comfortable. At the same time, he positions himself in between Shotaro’s legs, holding them up and lines his dick up against his hole again. “Please tell me if I hurt you,” Wonbin says first, waits for Shotaro to nod and then, without using his hands, pushes back inside.
As soon as Wonbin is in full control, he feels himself crumble and lose to his intense desire for Shotaro. He leans in close, rests his forehead against Shotaro’s and carefully pushes all the way in. After thrusting in slowly a few times, Wonbin quickly finds his rhythm and speeds up. He notices that whenever he snaps his hips the last few inches, Shotaro winces underneath him and focuses on repeating that as often as he can. At the same time, Wonbin begins to nuzzle against Shotaro’s cheek, repeating ‘I love you’ in his head again and again like a mantra.
“Tsubasa-kun… I’m close…” Shotaro doesn't know why Wonbin is suddenly so close, but he doesn't dislike it. Wonbin feels warm, gentle, hard only where he needs to be, dependable and… loving? Shotaro feels so indescribably close to Wonbin that he instinctively wraps his arms around Wonbin's neck. One hand starts to caress the back of Wonbin's neck all on its own, as he moans against Wonbin's lips.
Their eyes meet for an intense gaze, every movement of Wonbin's hips turning sharper, as Shotaro's voice grows louder. Wonbin's lips move, just like Shotaro's, but no words come out. Caught in their throats are emotions too intense and heavy to be voiced out.
Wonbin is the first to lose control; he tightens his hold on Shotaro’s legs as he thrusts harder into Shotaro’s body. He just barely manages to moan out, “Hyung,” before kissing the other deeply and coming. Shotaro gives in right after, relaxes with the passionate kiss and lets go, allowing his body to succumb to the pleasure as he comes as well.
Wonbin’s hips halt shortly after releasing into the condom, but he doesn’t move and simply continues kissing Shotaro. Every time their lips meet, Wonbin hopes that Shotaro can feel him silently saying ‘I love you’, only wanting the other to know that he is everything to Wonbin. Shotaro, however, is exhausted and has to turn his face to the side for Wonbin to stop.
“You should pull out before you get soft,” Shotaro tells him, pulling Wonbin out of his fantasy world and back into reality. “O-oh, yeah. Sorry.” Wonbin quickly grabs the condom and then pulls out, feeling strangely empty despite being the one who penetrated Shotaro. No longer being connected to Shotaro leaves behind a painful feeling, almost as if Shotaro could disappear again.
“That was nice, thank you,” Shotaro says, pulling Wonbin out of his thoughts. Wonbin looks into Shotaro's face, mesmerized by his content, warm smile, but notices quickly that he seems thirsty. “Can I get you some water?” Wonbin asks, gently stroking through Shotaro's hair. “Still a gentleman even though you already had me.” Shotaro can't help leaning a bit into Wonbin's gentle hand as he laughs softly. “My kitchen is down the hall, you can get some from the fridge for yourself, too. And…” Without saying anything, Shotaro reaches down and removes Wonbin's condom for him. After wrapping it in some tissues he grabbed from the nightstand, he throws it in the small bin next to it and smiles at Wonbin.
“Sorry, it was a bit obvious you have never used a condom, so I just wanted to help,” Shotaro explains, gently pinching Wonbin’s cheek when he sees him blushing. “Don’t worry. I’m honored to be your first adventure. I think it’s cute you have never done this outside of a relationship.”
With Shotaro’s warm hand on Wonbin’s cheek, Wonbin, again, considers telling Shotaro the truth. Maybe now would be the best time to confess that Shotaro is Wonbin’s first time. Not only that, but also confess his real name and tell him who he is, but before he can speak up, Shotaro begins to cough. “I’ll get you water!” Wonbin says quickly and jumps out of the bed. Shotaro’s health is more important than confessing.
Wonbin comes back with a small bottle of water, handing it to Shotaro as if he was a plant about to dry out. Shotaro laughs that Wonbin even removed the lid for him, surprised that Wonbin treats him like a prince, but thanks him anyway before finally drinking.
“Tomorrow is Saturday. Do you have any classes or club activities?” Shotaro takes the lid of his bottle back and puts the closed bottle next to his side on the nightstand. After that, he grabs more tissues and starts cleaning his body. “No, I’m off. Orientation starts on Monday.” Shotaro hums, grabs more tissues and hands them to Wonbin to clean himself as well.
“Usually I wouldn’t offer this, but it’s really late and there are no more trains until the morning. If you want, you can sleep here. I can take you back to your dorm tomorrow. I have to go to the office in the afternoon.” Shotaro throws his tissues into the bin and then takes Wonbin’s to throw them away as well. “Are you sure it’s okay?” Wonbin asks carefully, secretly hoping that Shotaro will want him with him. If it was up to Wonbin, he would move in with Shotaro right away. But he knows he needs to propose first.
He knows the correct order is confessing his love, propose to him, get engaged and once they get married, he can move in and live with Shotaro forever. The fact that they had their first time together before everything else shouldn’t affect the rest of the order or hinder them from living their happily ever after. Nothing will be able to separate them again.
Shotaro smiles at him as warmly and prettily as always, pulls up his blanket and pats the empty space next to him. “Come. Let’s rest.” Wonbin doesn’t hesitate, can’t help letting out his true feelings of excitement in the form of a wide, happy smile before crawling into bed right next to Shotaro.
As soon as Wonbin finishes getting comfortable, he turns towards Shotaro with a smile. “Hyung… Thank you. It was amazing.” Shotaro gets comfortable next to Wonbin right after, turns towards the other, gently strokes his cheek and smiles. “I had fun, too, Tsubasa-kun. Now close your eyes and rest.”
Despite usually treating his one-night-stands as a practical, short-term transaction, it feels easy for Shotaro to wrap one warm arm around Wonbin, who has treated him lovingly all night as well. Shotaro leans in, kisses the younger one more time and then closes his eyes.
Wonbin returns the kiss happily, logging this in as one step closer to his forever with Shotaro. “Good night, Shotaro hyung,” he says and finally closes his eyes as well.
Tomorrow, Wonbin decides, he will make Shotaro his.