Chapter Text
Regina George
The party smelled like ass, everyone smelled like ass, the lights were in her eyes in all the wrong places, it was literally the most annoying night in Regina’s entire life. Not ever did she think she’d be ditched by her friends like this, with not even a mention of wanting to leave, she cannot believe things turned out this way.
-
”Oh em gee! We totes forgot! Forgive us Reg, we—“
”Don’t call me that!” She snapped back, clearly pissed.
”SORRRY! We just heard there was another party dow—Sorry, we’re just sorry, just try finding some sorry loser to take you here! I’ll send you the deets.” Gretchen says, almost too cheerily, hanging up. Not soon after, Regina receives a text from Gretchen, detailing exactly where the party was being held.
-
So there she was, standing, arms crossed, people watching to find her perfect target. She didn’t think she’d find anyone worthy, but it was worth a shot, especially since there was no longer anyone she knew at the party. There were a few other North Shore students, but no one worthy of her presence, especially considering all there was left were a bunch of losers with little to no respect for themselves.
No, looks like he’d try something…
They definitely don’t have a car.
Ugh. Can this night get any worse?
Regina got tired of people watching quickly, storming her way up the stairs to find a bathroom. A few tries later, she finally finds the door. Unfortunately for her, the door refused to budge, indicating a likely scene she’d have to storm into. She shoved her entire body weight onto the door until it finally busted open. There was a very audible “what the fuck” as she does. Inside there was a messy-haired brunette entangled with an all too familiar blonde.
Heather Hills? What the fuck was she doing here.
They were clearly in the middle of something, judging from the mess that surrounded them. “Do you fucking mind.” The boy suddenly says, shaking Regina out of her trance. He had lipstick smudged all over his lips, neck, and face, the faint, musty stench of B.O and cheap cologne accompanied. He had smudged eyeliner around his eyes—which he definitely stole from his mother—and eyes that were so clearly crossed with alcohol and some type of nicotine
He waved a hand, “hello, can you fucking leave plea—“ Heather gets up suddenly, shoving the guy off of her, fixing her clothes before rushing out the door. “Oh come on, you’ve got to be kidding me.” He got up begrudgingly, brushing against Regina as he does, quickly following after the girl.
Regina, still frozen, observed the destroyed bathroom, soap bottles askew, the shower curtains ripped, along with a belt that one of them left. Whatever they did in here, it was very serious. She shrugged it off, whatever, losers like that don’t deserve to get anything, she thought as she reapplied her lipstick and touched up her lashes. The door suddenly opened, presenting the same brunette boy from before, looking absolutely furious. “You.”
He marched over, shutting the door behind him, “you! You ruined everything! I can’t believe this, do you understand what you—“
Regina scowled at him as she put a hand over his mouth, shutting him up. “Who the hell are you? How fucking dare you.”
He pushed her hand off him, wiping his lips as he did. “No, who the hell are you, do you know what you just fucking did?! Are you absolutely out of your fucking mind?!” He screamed at her, jamming his pointer fingers at his temples. Does he know who she is?
“Stop yelling at me, asshole! I don’t care that you got buzzed off by that bitch Heather! You should actually thank me, for saving your sorry ass.” She bites back, harder and harsher. No one talked to Regina George like that, especially if they were expecting to be let off easy.
He slapped a hand to his forehead, rolling his eyes as he lazily slammed a fist onto the porcelain sink. “Heather? A bitch. What the hell are you talking about.” He finally says, looking up from the sink at her, eyes staring intensely.
Does this guy live under a rock? “She’s like the biggest whore around, just save losing your virginity to someone else—“ she says as she eyes him up and down, hmm dirty shoes, sorry looking face—
“That’s exactly why I was basically balls deep in her, dumbass. Of course I know what she’s like!” She looked back up at his face, really taking in his almost scarily pale face in this light, “and for your information, I’m not a virgin.” He added, huffing as he does.
Maybe she can pull some strings with this loser.
She rolled her eyes, preparing herself to say what she was going to say next, “listen. If you take me to this party a few downtown, I promise I can set you up with the town whore.” Regina says slyly, making sure that she batted her eyes at him in the process.
This doesn’t seem to shake him, though, still staring daggers at her. “No.” Was all he said as he turned around and took out a pack of cigarettes, putting one in his mouth and walked away, lighter in hand.
She rushed to the doorway, yelling, “you can’t do that inside—“
”Buzz off Barbie.” He says, barrelling down the stairs and into the party below. Regina stumbled out of the bathroom, scanning the living room to find him again. She caught him exiting through the back door, looking behind his back before he ducks into the darkness.
Got you.
She quickly rushed to the same door, now scanning the dark backyard for a lick of information of where he could have gone. She finally spots a dim light from behind the pool shed. As she neared, she found him spaced out, taking in a long puff of his cigarette as he lazily looked at his phone before scoffing and taking in another puff.
“Think about my offer.” Regina broke the silence, clearly bewildering the boy. He turned around and the second he made eye contact with her, rolled his eyes and turned back around, doing a shooing motion at her.
“That’s enough, I heard enough.” He says, taking yet another puff. He didn’t seem like he was going to budge, looking at his watch and biting his lip as he seemingly read the time. He groans, realizing she’d taken the empty spot beside him. “My God, what do you want?” He says, finally looking at her, giving her a dead stare, the cigarette hanging on the corner of his lips, waiting to be puffed on once more.
She did her best puppy dog eyes at him, preparing to use her tears as a final resort. “Please? Can you please take me to this party tonight,” she stared down at her legs for a few seconds before she looked back up at him, trying her best to be pitiful, “I’ll do anything.” It wasn’t true, there were things she would definitely not do for the freak, but she had to say it to get her way and to get him to finally fall.
He looked away from her, taking in long puffs, blowing them out before looking at her. “Listen. If I drive you to this party, promise I can get in and you buzz off.” He finally says after waiting for a moment of silence to pass.
Her eyes lit up, finally! I knew you’d fall. “Fine, sure. I’ll tell them you’re with me. Just don’t linger around me too long.” She says, preparing to get going.
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He led the way, his lengthy frame barely visible in the dark due to the mainly black clothes he was wearing. In this light, he was almost pretty. But, he was definitely wayyy below Regina’s standards, nor would she ever go for a total loser like him.
As if.
They walked a few blocks out to a dingy-looking van with a Löded Diper logo on its side. She grimaced, no way is she pulling up in this sorry excuse of a vehicle. If anyone saw her in this thing, it would definitely ruin her. But the situation is dire, she can’t be too picky. Plus, she was already here. He didn’t bother to open the door for her, and instead opted to hop inside, turned the van on, and blasted the most obnoxious noise pollution he could muster.
Regina opened the door of the van cautiously, half expecting something to jump up at her. “Can you hurry up? Do you want to go to this party or not.” The brunette asks, taking one last puff of his cigarette before pinching the end and letting it fall onto the road below them. He looked bored waiting for Regina, which only pissed her off even more.
How dare he.
Regina finally finds her seat, making sure she dusted it before she sat down, which elicited an eye roll from the brunette boy behind the wheel, which elicited an icy glare by Regina.
Can’t believe I’m actually going through with this.
Regina refused to think about it any deeper, afraid that she’d lose respect for herself. The engine hummed as he changed the gear to drive. As he began to drive, he sang the song unapologetically. “So here’s another day, I’ll spend away from you.” Regina took this time to survey her surroundings. The tin can is by no means clean, but it was better than some other cars she’shad to deal with before.
She spots a red lace bra in the corner of the van which makes her look at the boy behind the wheel, wondering how he of all people was able to convince a girl to actually strip naked for him.
No way this guy actually gets past first base.
She continues looking around, taking in her surroundings, half curious and half making sure she’d be able to describe the crime scene if anything went down. Come to think of it, she didn’t think they even introduced each other—
“What’s your name anyway?” He spoke, now just chewing on a piece of gum which he probably found under a piece of lint. “Never seen you at school before.” He quickly added, taking his eyes off of the road to quickly steal a glance at her, before he peeled his eyes away back onto the road, chewing obnoxiously loud.
She scoffed, “as if you’ve never heard of me.” Silence was what she was met with. She straightens in her seat, “you’re kidding.” She says, but still, the boy said nothing. She quickly regains her composure, now sitting up straighter than she’s ever sat, making sure he could see her face in his peripheral vision. “Regina George, here in the flesh. Right in your dweebie presence.”
“Oh that’s your name?” He says, nodding his head like he was talking to himself, “yeah okay I’ve heard of you. Didn’t take you as a desperate type.” He says which only intensified Regina’s glare towards him.
“I am NOT desperate you dweeb! How dare you!” She yelled back, holding back the urge to hit him.
He’s driving, calm down.
He backed away from her, sensing the hostility. “Chill Barbie. I just didn’t think from all the stories about you I’ve heard, you’d beg for a ride to this lame party.” He says, not urgently as though he didn’t actually care if her feelings were hurt or not.
“And who even are you? I’ve never even seen your face in be halls—“
“Wait, this part is really good. Hush.” He says, wagging a finger in her face before breaking into song, “Take me with you, I start to miss you. Take me home I don’t wanna be alone toniiight.” His voice cracked a few times between the verses, but continued to sing until the very end, much to Regina’s dismay.
Baffled, she coughs, getting his attention once more. “Are you done, loser?” She says, turning the music off, crossing her arms. She did not like being interrupted—which he’s already done countless times already, only fueling her rage toward him.
“Rodrick Heffley.” Is all he said. When the silence and her confused face lingers, he elaborates. “I go to Plainview. You don’t.” He adds, letting out a yawn before taking a sharp right turn throwing Regina towards him. “Oops.”
She glared at him once more, clearly getting under her skin. She dusted herself off, scared he got his weird germs on her. “No wonder you’re such a freak. Only wannabe’s go to Planview.” She laughed, of course, it all makes sense now.
“Which explains why you were at a Planview party, of course.” He added smugly, smirking—which angered Regina even more, finally breaking her. She would no longer play nice with this guy, and since he was basically asking for it, why should she hold back?
“You know what, asshole? I only went because my stupid friends wanted to see what a loser party was like. Hence why, they fucking left.” She huffed out. Sensing that he didn’t care, she added. “And for your fucking information, I only asked you because you look so sorry that you’d be easy to manipulate.” He looked at her, clearly unphased. “I guess I’m right, cause you just look so pathetic right now. Ugh, stop looking at me, you freak.”
It was silent for longer than Regina bargained for. He didn’t add anything, nor continued to smirk, instead it was replaced with an unreadable expression, focused on driving rather than biting back at her. He sighed as he turned a corner, “we’re almost there.”
They arrived at the party. Regina softened, relieved to see that the party was still going strong. She hastily unbuckled her seatbelt, gathered her things and walked towards the building. Trailing behind her was the loser Rodrick, who dragged his feet and looked even more bored than he was at the last party. Regina reached the door, surprised to see a bouncer. Was this party seriously age restricted? She flashed him her best smile and waited for clearance into the party.
This time though, it didn't work and she was refused entrance, only greeted by the guy motioning for her ID. What a night to forget her fake. Rodrick finally caught up, witnessing the scene before him. “Sam?” Was all he said. Regina turned to him, catching a hint of familiarity in both Rodrick’s and the bouncer’s eyes.
The bouncer instantly softened at the sight of the boy, dapping him up. “Bro! What are you doing here? Thought you said you were going to be at Nick’s.” The bouncer, Sam, questions Rodrick, raising a brow at him as if he was unsure whether he was really there.
He shrugged, “Barbie wanted to party.” He says, motioning to Regina. She gave a small wave. “Listen, can you just let her in? You owe me, remember?” He whispered loudly. Sam looked at Regina, rolling his eyes at Rodrick and letting her pass through. She turned back to Rodrick, watching him as he continued to talk to Sam, passing him a joint, offering his lighter, to which Sam declined.
Whatever, I’m here. That’s all that matters.
It didn’t take long for Regina to regroup with her friends, finding them at the spiked punch pressed against three hunky football players. “Regina!” Gretchen called as soon as their eyes met each other. She quickly squeezed out the grasp of the boys, giving Regina a small side hug. “Listen, we’re so sorry we left you! These guys,” she motioned to the three hunks now ogling Karen, who couldn’t care less, “said they had another party to attend and kind of just took us with!” For someone as smart as Gretchen makes herself out to be, a lick of alcohol sure does rot her brain and common sense.
Regina brushed off the fact that they left her, instead, trying to squeeze out any information to make her night somewhat redeemable, “Whatever, save your excuses for someone who cares.” She yawned, rolling her eyes before looking back at Gretchen’s wary face, “see anyone I can sink my teeth in tonight? After the hassle I just went through, I totes need a distraction.”
Gretchen gave her a few names to ask around about and sent her off. Knowing Regina, she would never go for a hunky jock ever again after Aaron. Aaron Samuels absolutely destroyed the fantasy of athletes after not being able to make her finish even once. She needed a step below, maybe Shane was here tonight?
She walked around, realizing after speaking to a few people that her targets were already spoken for, dampening her mood. As she heads back into the kitchen to get a drink, she spots Rodrick there with a new chick, sliding a hand up and down her body, squeezing all the right places. He caresses her face with the other, deepening the kiss when he could. Regina couldn’t take her eyes off of him.
Maybe he wasn’t so—
No. Absolutely not.
It did bother her though. How was he able to get with someone when she wasn’t able to. She had to do something, “Rodrick? Can you take me home.” She whines, approaching the two. They pulled away from each other and looked at her. The girl looked mortified after seeing Regina’s face. “Oh my god. I’m so sorry!” The girl squeaked, untangling herself from Rodrick and ran off into the noise of the party, not looking back even once at the pair.
Rodrick looked even more pissed than the first time she did this. “Are you serious?” He deadpanned, “are you that desperate to get with me—“
She psh’ed, “you wish—“
“Then why do you keep getting in my way? The deal was, I take you here and you buzz off.” He started, as he ran a hand through his messy, tousled hair.
Then the next thing, Regina didn’t even know why she did it. She pushed herself onto him, kissing him.