Chapter Text
Your body didn't feel like yours. Not when burnt flesh and smoke were the only things you could smell and everywhere you looked was littered with corpses—all from your doing.
One of the men in white coats whispered to another frantically, "This isn't worth it! She's the reason why our world has been infested with those monsters for a fucking year!"
"Dimitri, you know EVER is the whole reason why we can even be here. We can't just get rid of their prized test subject."
"To hell with them! You've seen what it's like now outside this facility. A fucking lawless—"
An older woman interjected, "This is a child we're talking about. We're not killing her."
"Child? She's a monster!" He finally turned to look at you, and the dark look in his eyes made you tremble.
Next to you, the young woman who had put in all the tubes and wires in your arms looked at one of the glowing screens and said, "He's bringing her heart rate up. Get him out of here, or we risk triggering her protocore syndrome again."
Before you could watch him get pulled out of the room, something was injected into your neck, making your vision fade to black.
The sound of your door creaking open brought you out of your dreamless sleep with a gasp bursting from your lips. You quickly blinked your eyes open, and you let out a startled scream at the man—Dimitri?—who was now walking towards you. With a knife.
You hated the sound of your timid voice. "What…what are you…"
"Doing what needs to be done," he gritted out, raising his knife above you—ready to strike.
But before he could, fear set your body alight, and a rising, unnatural heat started to burn in your chest. Then, all of a sudden, it grew to be too much, and with an anguished cry, it burst from you. His pained scream and skin melting off his body was the last thing you saw before your body gave out on you.
When you woke, you almost didn't recognize where you were. You stumbled through the rubble, and as you made your way through the facility—the only place you could ever remember being in—tears flowed down your cheeks at the pure destruction you had caused. When you came across a group of lifeless, scorched bodies, you couldn't take it anymore and collapsed to the ground with heaving sobs. You hadn't meant for this to happen. You hadn't meant to kill anyone. But you had, and you only proved that man right; you were a monster.
You don't know how long you laid there, crying, begging for it all to have been a dream. There were no signs of life, no sounds other than the blaring alarm, the flicker of dying flames, and your rapid heartbeat. Until you heard the crunch of footsteps on the broken glass that littered the floor.
Your head snapped up to see who could have possibly survived, but who you saw was a man you didn't recognize. And by his attire—black leather pants and jacket—you knew he was an outsider. You had never been allowed contact with one. Until now.
"I…I didn't mean to," you whimpered. You don't know why you pleaded with him. Maybe you just wanted someone else to hear the thoughts that had been in your mind on repeat. "I didn't mean to..."
His guarded expression didn't falter as he took in the pathetic sight of you, and slowly, he knelt down in front of you. His crimson eyes pierced yours, but for some odd reason…you weren't afraid. Something about him…something about him felt familiar. And as you stared up into those fierce irises, his right eye started to glow. Your surroundings started to fade to a blur. All you could see was him, and a voice similar to your own started to speak inside your head.
Possess him…
Devour him…
…He's yours.
More sobs burst from your chest. No, no! was all you could think. You didn't want to hurt anyone else. You didn't want to be this…this curse! No, you wanted…you just wanted to be safe, to not have those people in white coats prod at your skin with needles and do things to you that made your memories fuzzy. You just wanted to be…
You lurched towards him, wrapping your arms around his torso and burying your face in his chest as you continued to cry.
…to be held.
Above you, you heard his breath hitch, and at first you were worried he'd push you away—because who would want a sniveling child clinging to them like this?—but instead, you felt a warm hand rest on your back. A surprisingly gentle gesture for such an intimidating figure.
"He…he was going to kill me. But I didn't mean…" you tried to catch your breath, "I didn't mean for this to happen." Your small fists dug into his leather jacket. "I'm a monster…"
You heard a soft sigh before he finally spoke, "…So am I."
The shock of finally hearing his low, deep voice was enough to temporarily bring you out of your cries. He didn't push you away at your admission. He didn't seem disgusted or horrified at what you were. Instead, you were lifted off the ground as he gently carried you away from the source of your anguish. You nestled your head in the crook of his neck and kept your arms wrapped around it tightly.
You never wanted to let go.
You fell asleep at one point in his arms and didn't stir awake until you were being laid down on a bed you didn't recognize. While rubbing your eyes as you sat up, you heard the sound of a drawer opening and closing. He walked back over to the bed and handed you a plain, black t-shirt. "Are you able to dress yourself?" he asked.
You nodded, and with that, he grabbed his own clothes to change into and headed into the bathroom. Once the door clicked shut, you started to fumble with the string on the gown you had always worn. Eventually, you managed to change into the shirt he gave you. It was quite oversized on your small frame, coming down to your knees, and it was so much softer than anything you had been allowed to wear before.
While you waited for him to come back out of the bathroom, your eyes wandered around the room. It was a similar size to the one they had kept you in, but that was where the similarities ended. Instead of white, pristine walls, they were a dull cream color with pieces of paint peeling off in some areas. The full-sized bed had worn sheets, and there was a simple wooden desk across from it. A black, mechanical box sat on top of it along with a mess of papers beside it. Occasionally, the light fixtures would flicker.
The bathroom door creaked open, and the man walked out dressed in more simple, black clothes. "Hungry?" he asked.
You gave him a timid nod, and he started looking through a cabinet. He pulled out some sort of paper cup with a black and orange label. He opened the mechanical box to put it in, and you watched, fascinated, as he hit a few buttons to turn it on. While you watched what you assumed was your food, you took the opportunity to ask in a small voice, "…What's your name, sir?"
Based on his eyes, you almost felt like that question alone was painful for him to hear. "Sylus," he said.
You fiddled with the edge of the shirt he gave you. "Thank you…for saving me, um, Mr. Sylus. Sir."
The machine beeped, and as he pulled out the cup, you thought he wasn't going to acknowledge what you said. But, then he said, "Just Sylus." He brought the steaming cup over to you along with a fork, and you peered inside it curiously to see noodles covered in a sauce with an orange tint to it. When you looked back up at him, he nodded towards it. "Go on. Eat."
You followed his instructions obediently. As soon as the first noodle touched your tongue, your eyes widened at the flavor. It was unlike any of the food you had been given to eat. Almost like colors were bursting in your mouth. You couldn't hold back a delighted hum, and with each bite, you were immediately digging back in for more.
For the first time since you had met Sylus, you saw the faintest hint of amusement in his eyes. "I take it you've never had instant noodles before?"
You shook your head, eyes still wide and full of wonder. "'S good," you mumbled around the food in your mouth.
He huffed out what could have been a laugh. "I don't know whether I should feel jealous or sad for you."
You didn't exactly understand what he meant, so you just continued eating until there was nothing left.
A yawn started to escape you, and with it you faced just how exhausted you felt. Sylus nudged you so you'd lay down on the bed. You curled up under the sheets and were ready to let sleep take you, but then he started to walk away. "Where are you sleeping?" you asked.
He paused and turned back towards you. "I'll figure something out."
You despised that idea. The thought of sleeping alone made fear start to sprout inside your chest, so you scooted over to the edge of the bed, giving him room. "…Stay? Please."
He gave you a weary look. "Are you sure?"
You nodded. Why wouldn't you be?
With a deep sigh, he moved back over to the bed and laid down beside you. The fear dissipated, replaced with the warmth that his body gave off, and it was easy to finally let yourself sleep.
The vivid image of the other children in the facility that had died because of you was all you could see as you screamed awake. When a hand clasped over your mouth, your instinct was to flinch and push away, but then you saw those bright, red eyes in the darkness, and reality became a little clearer.
Sylus shushed you gently, and once he was sure you had calmed a little, he pulled his hand away. Tears flowed down your cheeks as you cried silently. "Was just a dream. You're okay, now. Just go back to sleep."
You didn't know how you'd fall asleep again after what you saw in that hellish nightmare. "But it wasn't," you said quietly. "The other kids…like me…I killed them. I…"
"No you didn't."
"But—"
His voice grew firmer. "They killed them. You, on the other hand, survived. Alright?"
You didn't want to argue with the man that had rescued you, so you nodded. Even though, deep down, the guilt was festering in ways you didn't know how to deal with.
Sudden, loud popping noises echoed down the street outside the window that was covered with blinds. They happened in quick succession again, but this time followed by…people screaming? You looked to Sylus with fearful eyes.
He sighed softly. "Ignore it. It's not affecting us. Now, sleep."
You closed your eyes obediently, and while the scary noises outside took awhile to get used to, you finally managed to fall asleep a second time. All thanks to his presence.
Over the next few days, you stayed in that small room with him. While he sat at his desk with his computer, you watched what he put on for you on the TV. So far, it had been a lot of nature documentaries, and you learned just how much about the world had been kept from you. Once, you built enough courage to ask him, "…Mr. Sylus? Have you ever seen a pink dolphin?"
He didn't look up from whatever he was working on. "I haven't seen much of this world yet besides the N109 Zone. So…no."
"Maybe…we could see them someday?"
He didn't say anything back.
You didn't know where the food that got delivered to your door came from, and while it was still much better than anything you had ate in the facility, the strange noodles in the paper cups were your favorite. And you learned that the machine he put them in to cook was called a microwave. You had tried all the flavors he had, and the one with the bright pink label was the one you ended up liking the most. You also learned that Sylus wasn't the biggest fan of them; he only had them for just in case.
Then, on the fourth day, while you were eating some crackers as a snack and watching a documentary on the desert, you noticed that Sylus was packing various thing into a black bag.
"Are you…leaving?"
He didn't meet your eyes. "Just for a few hours, and then I'll be back."
"…Oh." The idea of being alone left an unpleasant feeling in your stomach.
After he zipped it up, he pulled a small, black device out of the desk drawer and started to walk towards you.
Apparently the device was a type of phone with a touch screen, and he spent the next half hour showing you how it worked. Once you had proved to him that you knew how to operate it on your own, he said in a serious tone, "While I'm gone, if you're worried about something, I want you to text me. And if you're in danger, I want you to call me. Understand?"
At your nod, he said, "Good. Like I said, I'll be back in just a few hours."
"What are you doing?"
He hesitated for a few seconds. "…Work. Don't worry about it." With that, he gathered what he needed before leaving. You tried to let the information on how rattlesnakes hunt distract you from the fear that was pressing on your chest.
What if he's lying?
What if he doesn't come back?
He knows what I've done…
He knows I'm a monster…
"If you're worried about something, I want you to text me."
With shaky hands and through blurry vision, you turned on the phone he gave you and started typing out a text just like he showed you how. While you had tutors who had helped you learn a few words, the speech-to-text feature filled in the gaps you were missing.
You: Promise you're coming back?
You stared at the messaging app—the documentary now merely background noise—while you waited for his reply. Before your anxiety made you spiral even more, a message from him popped up.
Sylus: I promise.
The tension bled out of you at that, soon replaced with curiosity with his next text.
Sylus: Pick a color.
So many options flew through your mind. You never had an opportunity to contemplate something like that, but you thought back to the color of the label of your favorite noodles and the dolphins you wished you could see someday.
You: Pink.
Your attention settled back on the TV while you wondered why he asked you that…
A few hours later, the door to the room opened. You sat up on the bed out of anticipation and watched Sylus carry a few bags over to his desk. One of the black ones that he didn't have before caught your eye. "What's that?"
He slightly raised an eyebrow at you and unzipped it, giving you a glimpse of its contents: piles of cash. "The thing that buys you your instant noodles," he teased. You had learned that he liked to do that. "And now—" he tossed some plastic bags towards you on the bed, "—Things like this."
Hesitantly, you peaked inside them, and at his encouraging nod, you started to pull the stuff out of them—and you realized why he had asked you to pick a color. There was a pink backpack, a pink brush, pink hair ties…you were surprised that the clothes and boots weren't pink as well, but instead they were all black. Though, it meant you matched him, so you couldn't complain.
He gestured to the bathroom. "Why don't you take a shower, so you can try them on?"
You did as he suggested and didn't waste much time under the water since you were too excited to put on your new clothes. The slim-cut pants ended up fitting fine while the shirt was a little loose, but you couldn't complain; you finally had things to call your own…you didn't remember ever having that before.
When you exited the bathroom, Sylus didn't look up from his desk. You could tell by the furrow of his brow that he was too focused at whatever task he was doing. Your footsteps were soft as you walked over to him, and you peered curiously at what he was working on. He was attaching…some sort of tiny device in a pink, glittering bead on a bracelet. One of the doctors the looked after you often wore one, and you had always wanted one for yourself.
When he was done sealing it, he gently grabbed your wrist with his hand—his warmth made you shiver a little—and slipped it on. You shook your arm, and the sound of the plastic beads jiggling and clacking together made a smile full of wonder spread across your face. You looked back over at Sylus, and you were surprised to see his usual tension and guarded expression had softened. But he recovered quickly and said with a firm tone, "You don't go anywhere without wearing this. Do you understand?"
You nodded timidly, and he let his thumb rub over your wrist before letting go. "Good. Now, why don't we do something about that hair of yours?"
The caretakers at the facility had made sure to take care of your hair, but you always had found yourself dreading it because of how it hurt. And yet, now, as the intimidating man that saved you—and who you should have been scared of but weren't—combed through the wet strands, it was quite…soothing. Especially while you got to eat a sweet tasting candy and watch something about temperate forests.
Despite this peace, a fearful voice in your head wouldn't quit. "…Sylus?" you asked softly.
"Hm?"
"Is this…forever? Or…" You didn't have the courage to finish the question aloud.
Or are you going to leave a monster like me?
He paused the attention he was giving your hair and maneuvered you so you were turned around, facing him.
"I don't give up precious things easily." He brushed a knuckle down your cheek. "And that includes you. Especially you."
You couldn't believe what you were hearing. He thought you were precious.
You.
Your eyes started to burn, and you threw your body towards his chest, wrapping him in a tight hug. "Thank you…" you whispered through your tears. And besides the small gasp he let out when you collapsed into him, he stayed quiet, just gently rubbing your back with his hand.
As sleep started to come for you, you made a vow to yourself. You would do anything to keep this. To keep him. Anything.
Many days had passed since then. You still hadn't left the room, but Sylus had. Many times. He never gave up much info on what he was doing, but you also didn't ask much either. You were just happy to not be hooked up to a machine and being monitored every hour of every day. But one day, he came back, and you noticed the splatters of blood on his shirt.
"Are you okay?" you asked, watching him with wide eyes. You couldn't lose him. You couldn't.
He gave you a reassuring smile. "I'm not the one who you should be asking that—since it's not mine, sweetie."
Sweetie—a new nickname he had started calling you that made a funny feeling in your chest bloom that you couldn't put a name to.
"Oh…"
While you still didn't actually know how he made his money, the picture was getting a little clearer. Though…it didn't make you afraid—just terribly curious.
Today was another day of him being gone and you watching nature documentaries. You also had the new games he had put on your phone. Just simple things, like a solo card game and a puzzle game with numbers one through nine. Your anxieties had been kept at bay all day; it was quite peaceful, actually.
Until there was a harsh banging at the door.
"Sylus, you motherfucker! We know you're in there!"
Men. Strangers. And by the sound of it, they weren't exactly friends of Sylus.
Your hands were shaking as you immediately turned off the TV. Then, you called him. And it barely rung once before he picked up.
You never heard his voice so tense before. "What's wrong?"
You kept your words to a faint whisper, just enough for him to hear. "There's—"
Another bang on the door, followed by, "Open the fucking door!" The many locks on the door still held, but you didn't know how long that would be the case.
Sylus' commanding voice kept you grounded. "Sweetie, I need you to listen to me. Crawl under the bed, and don't make a sound. Okay?"
"O…okay." You did as he instructed, trying to be as quiet as possible.
On the other end of the line, you heard the sound of gunshots and people screaming. "I know you're scared, but you have to stay quiet. Okay? I'll be there as soon as possible."
You knew why he had to hang up, but that didn't stop you from gripping your phone so tight that you were afraid your little hands would somehow break it.
The pounding at the door continued until finally, it swung open with a loud bang. Multiple pairs of feet stomped across the floor and a voice gritted out, "Where is that son of a bitch?"
"I don't see him…"
Suddenly, a shot fired out into the air, and in order to stop yourself from crying out, you bit down hard enough on your lip to draw blood.
"If he's not here to pay, then we're taking his shit instead."
You heard them shuffle around the room, stuffing things into bags, but they didn't gather very much before they started gasping for air.
"What the f—!" the man cut himself off with a scream, followed by silence.
Your heart dropped to your stomach as the sheets that were draped over the side of the bed were lifted up, but you let out a breath of relief when you saw those piercing red eyes. You crawled towards him, sobs tumbling from your lips, as he pulled you out from underneath the bed and into his embrace. "It's okay. It's okay. You're safe now…"
He pulled away slightly, so he could examine your face. When his eyes landed on the bleeding wound on your bottom lip, his face became pinched with worry. He lifted you up to sit you on the bed before leaving to grab something from the bathroom. As he did that, you looked around the room to see…nothing. No bodies. No blood…
He came back with a soapy washcloth and started dabbing your lip. When he finished, he acknowledge your confused expression. "Did they…ever explain to you what evols are?"
You answered with a slow nod. That was why you and all the other children had been experimented on. You didn't know much about your own besides that it was supposed to be powerful when paired with others.
With a sigh, he flicked his wrist, and red mist appeared from thin air. At first, you flinched, but then you reached out towards it. It curled around your hand like it was caressing it, and it was surprisingly…gentle. It was hard to believe this was the same evol that erased those men from existence.
Sylus was watching you carefully, and soon the mist disappeared. "Come on," he said, "It's not safe here anymore. I have another place we can go to for the time being."
With that, you started packing your things, and you understood why he had bought you a backpack. Your chest ached at the fact that you were leaving this place so soon after adapting to it, but you told yourself that as long as you had Sylus, you didn't care where you went.
It was the first time you had left to see the outside world. Though, you didn't exactly see much of it as you zoomed across the dark city on his motorcycle. The red mist of his evol kept you safe on the seat behind him while you wore a helmet that was way too big for your head. You ended up arriving at what looked like a small warehouse.
Inside, it looked more like a messy museum collection. One of the documentaries you watched had been about a rare jewel collection, and it wasn't that different than what you saw collected in front of you. Glittering rubies, pearl necklaces, fancy weaponry, glowing cores of energy that you could feel across the room—none of it was what you'd call cohesive, nor did it fit the image of Sylus that you had built in your mind. What use did he have for half of these things?
But again, you didn't ask any questions. Just stared in awe. And now, you were curled up on the leather couch—the only furniture in this place besides the steel table in front of it—using your phone that was propped up to watch a documentary on cats. Sylus sat next to you, typing away at his computer, and you wondered if he was listening to the woman's soothing voice, too.
"Kittens often will knead with their paws to show they feel comfortable and happy—"
You heard him chuckle, and you shot him a curious look. Then, you followed where his eyes were looking, and it was at how you were squeezing and rubbing the pillow underneath you without realizing it.
Okay…so maybe he was listening to it.
You ignored him and turned your attention back to the screen as your face started to grow warm. After the woman continued on describing common behaviors of kittens as they grew older, Sylus finally spoke, "You know, I feel that might be a fitting name for you."
"…What?"
He smirked. "Kitten."
You huffed, mumbling, "Whatever." You let your eyes wander around the room to avoid his gaze as your blush deepened, and as you took in his collection again, you came to a realization.
"If I'm a kitten, then…you're a crow."
He raised a brow. "Oh? And why's that?"
You gestured to the room around you since you felt that was explanation enough. "I would say a dragon, maybe, but those aren't real. So. Crow."
His smile went from amused to something more…soft. "I'll take your word for it, then."
Despite your earlier embarrassment, you felt happiness bubble up in your chest, and you experimentally stretched out your legs a little, letting your feet gently knead his thigh. You heard him laugh quietly, and then his hand was resting on your ankle, rubbing a soothing pattern into your skin with his thumb.
Just a few hours ago, you had been terrified. Anxious. Unable to control your tears. But now? Now…all you felt was the safety his presence wrapped you in. You didn't know what the future held with him, but you did know you could certainly get used to this.