Archive of Our Own ^beta

Reggie is standing in line for the self checkout at the grocery store, back in Chicago. He is in street clothes, waiting. It’s been a while since he had to wait in lines. Reggie doesn’t wear his costume out anymore, and that feels weird at first. He’s been wearing it for years. The people in the neighborhood know who he is, or most of them he thinks, but they don't make a big deal out of it. He is dressed like a civilian now and most of them know him, knew his family. 

He’s just Reggie, to them. 

Reggie gets home at a normal pace and puts his groceries away. He sends yet another text to his brother’s phone. Above it are the last several messages he has sent, unanswered. Reggie knows he doesn’t deserve Nathan’s time. He misses his nephews. He just wants to be a good uncle. 

Nathan was appreciative of Reggie saving them for the whole of the journey out of the country. Then, he reminded Reggie that on top of being the reason Nathan was in a wheelchair, he is also the reason he cannot continue to live his life. Pointed out that Reggie makes the decisions but Nathan and his boys seem to be the ones paying the price. 

Reggie moved them back here when Homelander and Vought went down and Nathan, once again, turned and thanked him for bringing them back. Then, once again, he turned around and walked away from him. Khamari and Desean both gave him a long hug, at least, before following their father away from him.  

It has been six months since Vought went down. Since Homelander. 

The anxiety of those final days had Reggie wondering if his heart was giving out again. There were a lot of near misses, so many moments of him just barely getting out alive. And now here he is, at home, in a regular house, trying very hard to be normal. Trying very hard to be extraordinary, in the way heroes are supposed to be. 

Reggie has mostly kept to himself. That final day, Hughie and Annie had looked over at him, all of them covered in blood and in shock that they made it out alive. Hughie asked him if he wanted to stay with them. 

Be one of the Boys. 

Reggie had scoffed right away. A level of instinct kicking in, of course he wouldn’t want to do that. Hughie didn’t look surprised. He shook his head and said, “If you ever change your mind, you know where to find us.” 

Reggie gave him a sarcastic salute and then he was out of there before anyone could blink.

Reggie couldn’t really leave just yet, not the city. He had to sit down with the DOJ and plead his case. M.M. showed up, in a suit and everything, and told them all the help A-train provided. He listed all the operations that could be counted as a success because of him. 

He tells them that A-train helped exonerate those two men who were being framed before anyone even asked. 

M.M. is the only one of the Boys there. Reggie tells himself he's not disappointed. Why would he want to see the rest of them anyway?

Reggie gets a very surprising clean slate from the government. 

With his suit stuffed in the bottom drawer in his new house in Chicago, Reggie is home. A-train is just a name in the wind. A closed chapter. 

It has been six months since the incident. He only made it three months before he started checking in on the Boys. 

That’s what it is. Checking in. Sure, they have Kimiko and Starlight but they are still more mortal than not. He’s maybe curious, too. They are still rounding up supes, the ones who were lost in Homelander’s vision or who refuse to give up their power. A couple who are too dangerous to be left unchecked. Things had gotten so dark at the end, it is so hard for the public to trust any of them any more. 

When Vought went down and Congress started passing a stack of superhero related bills, it tipped the scales on a lot of the lower level heroes, too. Shitbags who were using and abusing the trust they’d been given by their cities. The news was a fucking nightmare for weeks. Reggie had read about a couple in the paper, talk of supes who went down kicking and screaming and he couldn’t help but consider Hughie and M.M. chasing down supes with no powers of their own. 

They’re stupid and reckless, Reggie saw that shit first hand. 

So, he goes to see. 

Reggie keeps his distance. He doesn’t want to talk to them, he just has to see it for himself. These assholes had fucked up every mission he was ever near them for, he just had to see if they finally figured out their jobs. 

Reggie watches as they rack up some property damage subduing this supe and laughs. 

Messy as always. 

Reggie turns and heads home. 

Reggie has trouble sleeping. 

He has been having trouble for a while. 

The stress of spying on the Seven was an incredibly valid cause of insomnia. After that was over, he’s left with enough nightmare material to last a lifetime. 

With time, it’ll get better. 

Reggie tells himself this every night; and tonight, as he stares at the ceiling. 

After flipping through every channel at least four times, Reggie pulls himself out of bed. 

Out on the streets, he isn’t the only one still awake. There is something soothing to it, the noise. The tower was always so quiet. Eerie, especially after Homelander really cracked. He is just wandering around and he isn’t moving particularly fast, but that's not the point. Reggie is taking in the neighborhood the way he would without powers. His body doesn’t need to be worn out, that's not what's giving him problems. 

It’s his head. 

Reggie did a lot of fucking shit there at the end. He does have a lot to make up for but he put his neck way out on the line and he does feel like he shifted his scales a decent chunk. 

It wasn’t enough. 

There is still so much guilt in him. He thinks of all the people he hurt. Thinks of the people he has lost. His parents. Nathan and the boys.

Charlotte. 

And now in the dead of night, those are not the only things he feels itching at him. Walking the streets he thinks of Hughie's girlfriend, Robin. He thinks of looking back at Hughie, before he knew who he was. The horror on his face. The blood and gore all over him. 

Reggie thinks of Hughie shaking his hand, <em>We’re good</em>.

He shakes his head. He doesn’t deserve that. Hughie had posters of him in his room. Had figures on his shelves. He loved A-train.

And then A-train ruined his life. 

He has not earned that forgiveness. He didn’t even earn the truce they had. Reggie thinks maybe he will never earn it, but he wants to try. Reggie is trying to figure out if he can weigh acts against each other in any way that matters when he hears a scream. 

It’s close and Reggie starts looking in between buildings as he walks. He isn’t really sure if that scream was… bad. Reggie is still going to double check, but he doesn’t have enough experience out like this and he feels unsure. He’s never heard a cry for help that wasn’t being acted out for the benefit of the audience, not out here in the street anyway. He’s heard his fair share of concerned screaming when he was the one causing the hurt.

Finally, Reggie looks down an alley and he sees a couple of guys rounding on a girl. 

He freezes, first. He doesn’t have his suit on, but that’s the point, right? Reggie has this weird moment of nerves, like he isn’t sure he can actually do this, before he remembers that he’s strong and he’s fast. The horrible things he has done are also a testament to what he is capable of. He thinks of Blue Hawk smeared across the pavement. 

He does know how to do this he realizes. In fact, he knows how to do much worse. 

“Now, what’s going on over here?” He calls over to the guys. 

They turn around, but don't react. 

Reggie smiles. It’s sort of fun to do this out of the suit. 

“Mind your business. Keep walking.” One of them says. 

Reggie locks eyes with the woman behind them. She is scared. 

He can <em>do</em> this. 

In the blink of an eye, the woman is gone from the alley, dropped at a busy intersection. The twenty-four hour Walgreens sign lighting up her face. Another blink and the men in the alley are dropped at the front steps of the police station, unconscious. Reggie goes back for the girl and runs her home. 

When Reggie finally gets home, it's late. Early, more like. Three in the morning and Reggie closes his eyes. 

Within minutes, he is asleep. 

Reggie didn't register A-train with the city when he moved, which is technically part of the new protocol. He can do hero things, in a more real way than previously, but he has to register. The police and local governments want to keep track of their local supes. Reggie had told the DOJ he was retiring. He meant that, when he said it. He isn’t even sure if you could call what he’s doing coming out of retirement completely. 

It isn’t every night. And even on the nights he is out, he isn’t wearing his A-train suit. Something about it feels tainted. Like A-train was the one who did all those awful things and now Reggie is trying to start new. 

There has started to be some more talk about the saves in the city but Reggie keeps his head down. Being the fastest person alive means he can avoid any reporters or anyone else who is looking to pick at a former member of the seven. 

When he isn't out on the streets at night, he is checking on the Boys. 

He’s checking on Hughie. 

M.M can take care of himself, he’s tough. Some crazy military background and then all the C.I.A. shit he was involved in after. He doesn’t need to worry as much about him.

Hughie though… 

Hughie is tough, Reggie knows that; has seen it over the years. Got some serious balls for a scrawny guy like him. 

Still, Reggie worries about him. He isn’t invulnerable and Reggie is all too aware of how fragile regular people are. 

They don't need his help. He can see it. He hadn’t really thought about it when he told Hughie no, it was a reflex. Seeing them now, he is glad he did. They are fine without him. And now Hughie doesn’t have to work shoulder to shoulder with him. It’s not that he didn’t buy the forgiveness Hughie offered, he did. Hughie is a genuine guy. 

It’s that he doesn’t think he really earned it, yet.

It’s up to Hughie of course, if he says they’re good, then that's that. But Reggie would be lying if he said that the Robin thing didn’t consume a lot of his waking hours. 

He isn’t sure if he was hoping that they would be a mess without him and so he could run over and save the day, but they don't seem to need his particular talents. 

Until the day they do. 

Reggie has run to Santa Fe, following the Boys again. Hughie. He is watching from across a park, sitting on a bench as Hughie and M.M. walk up to some supe Reggie’s never heard of. He’s got his hands shoved in his pockets as he watches Hughie walk up to him. There is something charmingly disarming about him. Sticks out with guys like Butcher and M.M. around. Well, just M.M. now. 

Reggie is sort of lost just watching Hughie’s mannerisms, the way he leans and sort of crouches, trying to make himself shorter. Can tell by the way his hip is sticking out exactly what kind of smile is on his face. Reggie is wondering when he started to be able to line up Hughie’s body language with his smiles when the supe reacts to them. 

Badly, he is reacting badly. 

The ground starts to shake and Reggie sees that the supe is crumbling the ground in front of him, going for the ground that Hughie is standing on. M.M. had stepped to the side quick enough to miss it. Frenchie was behind the supe with a gun full of something useful, he hoped at least, and so Reggie ran straight for Hughie. 

He gets there just before the ground gives out under Hughie and has him twenty feet back before the supe can comprehend what happened.  

When he stops, Hughie is panting. His arms reach out to stabilize himself and one of them ends up fisted in Reggie’s hoodie. When Hughie has his bearing again, he looks over at Reggie and seems to freeze.

“A-train?” 

“Nah, not anymore. Reggie.” He says, shrugging. When was the last time he told someone to call him that?

Hughie tilts his head and lets out a breath. “Reggie.”

One of Reggie’s eyebrows goes up and when he goes to tease Hughie for his reaction to being saved like a damsel, he watches the gears start to turn in Hughie’s head. 

“Wait, what are you doing here?” He closes his eyes and shakes his head, “How did you… I mean <em>thank you</em>, of course. Like wow, the timing but uh… why are you… here?”

Reggie did not think this far. He swallows. 

“I was just uh, nearby. Y’know.”

“Nearby? In New Mexico?” There is the start of a smile on Hughie’s face. 

Reggie shrugs, “Well when someone like me goes on a walk it isn’t just around the block y'know? Gotta… run.” He finishes lamely. Gotta run? What the fuck does that mean?

Reggie is looking up into Hughie’s eyes and he sees that head tilt again. It makes him feel like Hughie is looking straight into him. Like he can see straight down to his core with just a little concentration. 

Reggie has to get out of here. 

He takes a step back, “Well, speaking of that run, gotta go.” 

He doesn’t wait long enough for a response, he just runs. He doesn’t go home, not straight away. He now feels like he has to take the scenic route home so that he can try to be more convincing when saying that he goes on leisurely runs across the country. 

When Reggie finally gets home, he is exhausted, having run himself more today than he has in a while. It felt good to get it all out for once. Maybe he was telling the truth earlier. Gotta run. 

Reggie lets out a sigh and shakes his head at himself. He only ends up thinking about what an idiot he was for a few minutes before sleep drags him under. 

Reggie keeps his distance for a bit after that. 

He keeps thinking of Hughie’s face when he looked over to find Reggie there. Something about the shock is poking at him. He’s saved Hughie plenty of times, at this point, but he still couldn’t believe Reggie was there. 

That shock has been on his face every single time.

Maybe it’s the way he’s started to romanticize being a hero again or maybe it’s the old school comics he used to read as a kid. Reggie wants Hughie to expect him. He wants to be that hero that they know is nearby, the hero that will come help even if no one asks. 

He wants to be what Hughie thought he was, before. 

Eventually, he can’t stay away anymore and he finds himself watching Hughie and M.M. and the gang from afar. He follows them on four missions to four different places before something happens again. 

Reggie is leaning on a fire escape of a building, watching Hughie and Kimiko in the distance. The conversation they are having seems friendly enough and Reggie finds himself looking around at the buildings instead of watching the meeting. Another easy one today. 

Reggie is only looking away for a couple minutes, focusing in on some voices yelling behind him before deciding it isn’t anything dangerous he needs to intervene with. Reggie turns back and they’re gone. Reggie straightens up, looking around. He doesn’t have super hearing, exactly, but he would have heard if something happened. 

He runs to the bottom of the fire escape and pauses. He doesn’t really want anyone to know he’s here. He slows down and just starts walking out of the alley towards where Kimiko and Hughie were. No need to draw unnecessary attention. They must be fine, Kimiko wouldn’t let anything happen to Hughie, she’d kill a lot of people before she let any of them get hurt. But Hughie, he’s too trusting sometimes. Too forgiving. Reggie knows that shit first hand. He is still catastrophizing when he rounds another corner and bumps into someone. 

Hughie. 

Reggie freezes and he must be off his game for the fact that he hasn’t already run. Hughie reaches out and grabs his wrist.

”Don’t. I’m not letting go and you’ll rip my hand off.”

Reggie shakes his head and looks away, “What makes you think I give a shit about your hand? <em>You</em> are the one who grabbed me.”

Hughie smiles, that stupid little half smile he always does. 

“Well, you haven’t run yet so,” he shrugs, “I’m guessing you’re gonna let me keep my hand attached.”

Reggie licks his bottom lip into his mouth and looks away. Hughie is good at his job. Sneakin’ up on him like this. 

“Yeah, look, I was just out on a stroll and saw you guys. Just took a second to look, y'know, last time I ran by you guys you were about to get buried, so.” He shrugs, sort of trailing off. Hughie is looking at him and he can tell he isn’t buying it. 

“Sure, yeah. I remember. Gotta run, right?” He’s smiling at Reggie and it’s like he is off balance all of a sudden. There used to be so much fear, so much anger in Hughie’s eyes. Reggie wanted that forgiveness so badly, before, but a part of him didn’t believe that it would be real. That it would last. But here is Hughie Campbell, standing in front of him, smiling at him like they’re friends. 

Reggie doesn’t deserve this. 

“Well, since you guys are good, I’m gonna keep on.” He’s pointing a thumb over his shoulder. Hughie is still holding his other wrist. 

“Wait, gimme your phone.”

Reggie stops, “What?”

Hughie smiles, like Reggie is the one being weird, “Let me see your phone?” 

Reggie cannot think of any good reason why he shouldn’t and with Hughie still hanging onto him, he can’t leave. He could get Hughie’s hand off of him, if he wanted to run. He could pull his fingers off fast enough to get out without hurting him. 

He doesn’t.

Reggie reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. He hands it to Hughie without a word and watches as he enters his own number, then presses the call button so that he has Reggie’s number too. 

“I’m not… I still don’t want to join up. You know that right?”

Hughie looks at him, that sarcastic smile going soft. He shakes his head. 

“I’m not recruiting, I just… want to be able to, like, say hi. Check in. Y’know?”

Reggie doesn’t know. 

His own brother still isn’t returning his phone calls. The idea that Hughie just wants to… say hi? Sometimes? Reggie feels a lump in his throat. He has to leave. 

He takes a step back and this time Hughie lets go of his wrist. He’s still smiling in a way that Reggie definitely doesn’t deserve but he does not want to give it up. Won’t give it up.

”See ya around,” Hughie says, waving a little, “Reggie.”

Reggie runs. 

He keeps his distance for a while… again. 

It only half works because Hughie has his number now, and he is not letting Reggie forget it. 

Hughie texts a lot. 

First, it's just a quick, <em>’Good to see you the other day, if you ever spot us on one of your runs again, maybe come closer to say hi?’</em>

Reggie types out about fifteen different responses, unable to find the balance between playful and earnest that comes so naturally to Hughie. He doesn’t know how to be friends with him, even though he wants to. At the end of the day he still killed Hughie’s girlfriend, almost hurt his dad. Mocked him and laughed at him. He remembers every single time Hughie has gotten in his face over the years and he doesn’t know how to move past that, even if Hughie apparently has. 

In the end he just sends a thumbs up emoji. 

Hughie isn’t deterred. He sends memes, gifs, updates on when they leave town. Reggie wants to tell him he doesn’t care where they are going but he’s been caught twice now and he thinks Hughie is actually trying to casually tell him so he doesn’t have to go running to find them.

It's considerate, is the thing. Reggie wonders if he will ever feel like he deserves whatever it is Hughie is trying to offer him. 

Hughie calls him one night and Reggie almost doesn’t pick up. He watches Hughie's name flash across the screen and at the last second, he swipes to answer. 

“What’s up, Hughie?”

“Hey! Wow, hey, I wasn't sure you were going to pick up.” 

Reggie doesn’t know what that’s supposed to mean. He hears a loud noise from Hughie’s end, followed up by a whispered, <em>fuck</em>.

”You okay Hughie? You aren’t out on supe duty right now are you?” He didn’t think about it right away but they were in California a few days ago, he is suddenly concerned that something happened during the <em>one</em> time he didn’t follow them and now-

“Yeah, shit, sorry. No I walked into the…” he laughs, “I walked into the doorframe… that’s embarrassing. You ever walk into door frames? Probably not huh, I guess you mostly know where you’re running.”

Reggie freezes. He sort of thinks Hughie is drunk, sounds like it anyway. He doesn’t know how to respond to that. This must be it. The moment he has been waiting for since Hughie shook his hand and told him he was forgiven. Of course it wouldn’t last. Of course, underneath that little smile of his and behind that happy demeanor was the real anger Reggie had been waiting for. 

“Fuck, A-train, I’m so sorry. I didnt mean it like, fuck, I mean that was. Of course you-” He lets out a sigh, “Sorry.”

Reggie’s mouth is hanging open. Hughie just apologized to him… for bringing up his own dead girlfriend?

”Hughie.” 

A beat. “Yeah…?” He sounds nervous. Like he fucked something up. 

“It’s Reggie now. You can…,” he takes a breath “I’d like it if you called me Reggie.”

He hears the breath Hughie was holding come rushing out. 

“Okay. Reggie.” He swears he can hear a smile in Hughie’s voice as he says it; a wistful sigh on the end of his name. 

“You at home?” He asks. He doesn’t know what he needs that information for, he supposes it would make him feel better if Hughie was safe at home in his apartment. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m… just me in the ol’ apartment.” 

Reggie smiles. Nerd. 

“Sounds like it might be past your bedtime, man. And your alcohol tolerance.” Reggie can’t help the laugh that comes out with that sentence. He wonders if Hughie is a lightweight. Everyone is a lightweight to him, with how his body metabolizes things, but Hughie seems like a lightweight, even by regular standards. 

“God, yeah, it is. This is what they mean about drinking alone, huh?” He laughs and Reggie laughs with him but it sticks in his mind. Alone? Where’s Annie? Reggie never really considered where any of them live. He sort of thought they lived in that stupid tower office they worked out of. 

Reggie doesn’t know where Hughie’s apartment is and he is going to fix that, he decides. 

“Sorry to, sorry I called you so uh,” he hears a hiccup, “late? I don't actually know what time it is.”

”You need something Hughie?” He hears the fondness in his own voice and hopes Hughie is too tipsy to hear it. 

“No, nope. I mean yeah, well. I don't know? I hadn’t um, I haven’t seen you out on one of your… runs.” Reggie looks up at his ceiling. It sounds so stupid when they are both pretending that he runs into them by accident. 

“Aw, you miss me Hughie?” He means for it to be teasing, sarcastic. Means for Hughie to stutter and deny it. 

That isn’t what he gets. 

“Yeah, sort of.” Hughie says, earnestly. “That’s weird, right? We don’t even know each other all that well outside of life threatening horrors but…” Reggie hears him shifting around on the other end of the phone. “I don't know, I guess I got sort of used to seeing you and then we kept running into you and it's uh, it’s been a while.” 

Reggie doesn’t know what to say. 

Hughie sighs down the phone, “I’m gonna fall asleep, Reggie.” 

For years, the only person he really ever heard call him Reggie was Nathan and Charlotte. Everyone else calls him A-train. Nathan is pissed at him and Charlotte is…gone. He didn’t really think he’d ever hear his name said like that again. Without the anger or the disappointment. 

“Talk to you tomorrow, Hughie. Get some sleep.”

Hughie doesn’t say anything back, just makes some sort of vague noise. Probably already asleep. Reggie ends the call. 

The next day Reggie finds himself running to New York. 

He knows where Hughie's dad’s house was but that’s not where he’s been living. Not for a while. 

Reggie can’t bring himself to just ask Hughie for his address for whatever reason. Feels like he’s… showing his hand maybe? He doesn’t know what the difference is because he is going to show up there but he can maybe shrug and blame his superpowers on why he knows where Hughie lives.

It just feels embarrassing. 

So Reggie doesn’t ask. 

Standing outside Hughie’s apartment he has a new concern, which is that showing up unannounced will be weird either way and maybe MORE weird that he didn’t ask but he doesn’t get the chance to second guess himself when Hughie’s door opens. 

There’s a woman, fifties maybe, with brown hair. Reggie is still staring when Hughie comes up behind her. 

“A-,” Hughie cuts himself off, “uh, Reggie. Hi.” 

He lifts a hand at Hughie. 

The woman in front of him tilts her head up at Reggie. It’s the same one Hughie does when he’s working something out in his head. The same look in her eye. 

Fuck. Hughie’s mom…

“Aren’t you-“ 

Hughie cuts in, loudly, “Okay, bye, Mom. Reggie and I have a work thing to-“ 

Hughie is gently pushing his mom with one hand while he pulls Reggie into his apartment by the shirt. 

“Call you later bye!” 

Hughie closes the door and locks it. He turns to look at Reggie. 

Reggie didn’t think this far. 

“I was in the neighborhood?” His heart is quick and he is glad that Hughie doesn’t know that. 

Hughie lets out a laugh. 

“Yeah. You normally are.” 

After that, he isn’t covering his tracks so much. He will just knock on Hughie’s door instead of leaving after he follows him home from work. Reggie makes himself known when he follows along on a mission and in fact has started riding in the van with them sometimes. 

No one has asked him to join the team again. They let him tag along when he shows up. Invite him for drinks when they go. They let him go home when he turns them down. 

He isn’t sure what he’s doing with all this shit, just that he needs to do some good in this world while he still can. These assholes are hardly the worst coworkers he’s ever had. 

And then there’s Hughie. 

Tagging along means he gets to see Hughie smile. Hear him laugh. It means instead of texting the memes, he leans over into Reggie’s space and shows him his phone screen. 

It means he gets to hear Hughie give him nicknames. 

He goes from Reggie to Reggie Tales to Reginator. Hughie is flipping through every possible syllable combo he can and it leads him to once calling him, Regicide. It comes out slow, like he heard it halfway through but couldn’t get the message to his mouth in time. 

He freezes like maybe calling him a killer was a sore subject they weren’t supposed to touch but… Reggie thinks of stealing Compound V for Hughie and saving Hughie, more than once. He thinks of the day they took down Homelander.

King killer. 

Reggie starts laughing. 

Like full on belly laughing, harder than he has laughed in a long fucking time. Hughie starts to smile but he is looking at Reggie like he isn’t sure if the joke landed or if he’s having a psychotic break. 

Reggie leans over into Hughie as he keeps laughing.

“You’re so fucking stupid, Hughie.” His hand lands on Hughie’s leg as he keeps laughing and finally Hughie lets go of the laugh he was holding. He shoves his weight into Reggie a little, not pushing, but an answer to the way Reggie is leaning. 

They are giggling like idiots, still, when M.M. asks them if they’re done. 

They both sit up as the laughter starts to fade. Reggie looks over at Hughie and Hughie's face is red. Smile still there. 

Reggie thinks he might have miscalculated a few steps here. Not the first time it’s happened near Hughie. 

He should maybe be worried about that. 

Reggie doesn’t really plan to do it. He’s hanging around with Hughie in the tower office. Everyone else has gone home, Reggie told them he’d protect Hughie from any bad guys while he finished up some things. 

“They really got you writing the reports for everybody, huh.” 

“Yeah, but it’s, trust me? This is faster. And more efficient. And less graphic.” 

Reggie snorts. 

“Whatever you say, man.” 

He lets Hughie work for a bit before deciding they both need food. Despite the months that have passed Hughie still has stars in his eyes for Reggie’s superpower. 

“God, delivery service supes. That’s it, that would solve all our problems.” 

Reggie holds his drink out of reach, “Excuse you, I run my own food and yours because I have manners. I’m not a fucking doordasher.” 

“If you weren’t already rich, you could monopolize the whole industry.” 

Reggie shakes his head, “White people want to turn everything into a business. Why don’t we monetize your nerd knowledge while we’re at it?” 

“Man, if there was a way, please know I’d be all over that.” 

Reggie smiles and gives Hughie his drink. 

He turns back to his laptop for a few minutes before he is turning back to Reggie with that calculating look. 

“You can go anywhere right? Like, on earth.” 

Reggie tilts his head back and forth, “In theory, yeah.” 

Hughie chews on the inside of his lip, “Is there anywhere you wanted to go but haven’t gone?” 

Reggie looks off to the side, he’s been almost everywhere that he could legally go and a few other places he couldn’t. Though a lot of stuff was PR events and staged saves. 

Reggie shrugs, “What about you?” 

“Me?” 

“Yeah, if you had super speed, where would you go?” 

Hughie stops and thinks. He looks so concentrated, it’s making Reggie smile a little. 

“I guess I’d run to the nearest Billy Joel concert?”

Reggie stares. 

“Are you kidding me?” 

Hughie looks back up at him, shoulders already coming up to defend himself “You asked, I don’t know there’s too many options, I don’t know where to start-“ 

Reggie laughs and then, quickly, he does several things. 

He pulls his phone out while Hughie is still going on about how he’s bad at making quick decisions and he finds what he needs. Takes a quick look at a map, before slowing back down to match Hughie. 

“Stand up.” 

Hughie stops talking. “What?” 

Reggie gestures at him, “Stand up, c’mon.” 

When Hughie is up and Reggie has him pulled out from behind his desk, he reaches down and grabs Hughie sunglasses. He places them on Hughie’s face and before he can ask, 

“For the bugs.” 

There is just a millisecond of Hughie’s confusion before Reggie grabs onto him, and runs. 

When they stop, he keeps hold of Hughie, it’s harder for regular people to find their footing right after he runs them somewhere and so he keeps an arm around Hughie’s waist. 

Hughie’s hands are twisted in Reggie’s shirt, like they are every time he grabs him and runs. Reggie likes the way Hughie hangs onto him when he runs with him. It is clenched and tight, probably because running scares the shit out of Hughie but he’s never asked Reggie to stop. 

He just clings to him. 

Reggie swallows, puts a hand on top of Hughie’s. 

“Sorry, I thought it would be funnier to not warn you but,-“ 

“Holy fuck.” 

Hughie pushes his sunglasses up off his face into his hair, making it stick up all crazy. He looks at the stage, realizing where Reggie has run them. A Billy Joel concert. They are up on the balcony seats, the easiest place to run them with a good view. 

The music is loud and the crowd is screaming. The people near them are staring, a little, trying to remember if Hughie and Reggie were standing there before they last blinked, probably. 

“Reggie…” Hughie’s voice is too soft to hear at a concert but Reggie hears him. He looks back at him and the intensity of the look he is getting starts to make him squirm. 

Reggie looks away, biting at his lip, “Look, I was just-“ 

He doesn’t get to finish that sentence. Hughie uses the grip on Reggie’s shirt to pull him closer, steps in to meet him halfway. 

Everything slows down. 

Hughie tilts his head down, pulls Reggie in and nudges at him his nose until there are lips on his. 

Reggie hasn’t kissed anyone since Charlotte died. 

Hughie’s lips move against his own, softly, pressing another kiss to him, and then he is gone. Too quick Reggie thinks, for the first time maybe in his life. 

Hughie is looking at him like he surprised himself with that kiss as much as he surprised Reggie. 

“Thank you.” Hughie whispers. Reggie feels it on his lips. 

They stand there, close and still, for another… minute? Reggie isn’t sure. He’s looking up into Hughie’s eyes, such a pretty blue-green. He can smell Hughie's cologne. The noise around them seems distant, all his focus right here. 

Someone knocks into Hughie and it knocks him into Reggie.

And just like that, the moment is over. The roar of the crowd and the music is back, Reggie grabs Hughie’s arm and moves him over a few seats so they can get up to the railing. Another song starts and Reggie watches Hughie turn towards the stage. 

“You like this one?”

Hughie nods, then looks back at Reggie. “It was uh, it was my dad’s favorite.” 

Reggie looks down at the stage. He doesn’t know what fucking song is playing, but he thinks he doesn’t really need to. He knocks his shoulder into Hughie’s before throwing an arm over his shoulders, dragging Hughie down and screaming with the crowd. 

Hughie’s laugh is louder than everything around them.

They don’t talk about it. 

Reggie has no idea what to fucking say. In the week that’s passed he has convinced himself that it was just like, Billy Joel induced temporary insanity. He was just… really thankful. When he saw Hughie the day after their impromptu concert, he tried to be as normal as possible and Hughie did the same thing. In fact, he was telling everyone in the office about it. He leaves his reactionary kiss out but still gushes about Reggie’s gift to him. 

Reggie tries to ignore the look that M.M. is giving him. 

Things don’t change, not immediately, but something has started to shift. Hughie leans into him when they are sitting next to each other, he shoves Reggie when he laughs. Reggie thinks this is just what it’s like to be Hughie’s friend. He sees the way Frenchie is with all of them, maybe some of that French bullshit rubbed off on the rest of them. 

Things don’t change but that doesn’t mean that Reggie isn’t thinking about it. Being a homewrecker is pretty low on his list of concerns, especially since Hughie is the one who kissed him, but he’s curious about this shit with Annie. He’s seen her around and they don’t… seem like they hate each other. Reggie can’t imagine they broke up that easily and then just continued to hang around each other? He can even see some of the affection still there between them. 

Reggie is with Hughie on a reconnaissance mission, he still doesn’t work with them but he wasn’t about to let Hughie go alone. They are in that stupid van that M.M refuses to get rid of or upgrade. Reggie complains about it constantly and that's about when M.M reminds him that he isn’t officially part of the team and that the CIA budget isn’t covering their stupid van. 

So, here he sits, with Hughie. They are sweating in the back of the van while they watch a tiny screen for any sign of someone who is seemingly selling stolen V on the streets. Reggie has already left twice for snacks and he is still antsy. About the third time Hughie sighs while he’s staring at the screen, Reggie decides he might as well make use of the alone time.

”So what's up between you and Annie? Trouble in paradise?”

That isn’t exactly what he meant to say but sometimes Reggie doesn’t know how to <em>not</em> be an asshole. It doesn’t help that he can feel his own heartbeat pick up at the thought that Hughie is about to tell him they are engaged or something and Reggie has spent weeks thinking about Hughie's lips on his. 

Hughie looks at him, surprise on his face. 

“Well, I thought we were doing a better job of hiding it…” he says, a rueful smile on his face. 

Shit. 

“Shit, Hughie, I was… I mean I didn’t-“

Hughie is waving a hand, cutting him off, “Stop, it’s fine. I know what you meant.” Reggie closes his mouth. “Things have just been… I don't know, kind of off? We aren’t. We aren’t <em>not</em> together? But also, we are…” he trails off thinking. 

Reggie is holding his breath. If only he could make other people faster. 

“Man, I haven't had to say this out loud yet so I don't really know what to say? But the easiest way seems to be that, um, we still love each other, a lot. So much happened before, um, before we got arrested? Stuff that I hadn’t even had time to process really with everything else going on and Vicki dying and then Vought picked us up and,” he trails off. Reggie just stares. Realizes now that Hughie has never really talked about the time Reggie was gone with his family after he outed himself in front of Deep and Noir. 

“Annie moved in with  Kimiko and Frenchie…” Hughie looks over at Reggie, looks him in the eye. “We just both have some stuff to work out? Different… areas and ways but, yeah. We’re on a not-break and she’s sort of dating Kimiko?”

Reggie just stares. 

“Oh.” 

Hughie is looking at him and for the first time, he feels the tension he felt that night at the concert. They’re alone this time, enclosed in this smelly ass van, looking at each other. Reggie doesn’t really know what they are fucking doing, cannot believe they are even friends most of the time. 

This… this doesn’t feel like friends. 

Reggie swears they are closer now than they were when he brought Annie up, but he doesn’t remember moving. Doesn’t really remember Hughie moving. He is looking for anything to say that isn’t another <em>’Oh’</em> that lets Hughie know he gets it or that even if he doesn’t get it, he’s here for him. He breathes in, ready to do something… anything about whatever this is between them. 

Movement out of the corner of his eye. 

Their target has finally left his house. 

“Fuck,” Reggie sighs out, “he’s moving.”

Hughie whips around to the screen and then scrambles up to the front to start driving. It rattles to life and everything in the back shakes until Reggie reaches out to stabilize the equipment while Hughie follows this guy. 

Reggie hates this fucking van. 

M.M. has been kind enough to not bring up whatever his thoughts are about what is going on between him and Hughie. It’s either he thinks they have just found their way to friends, or he just doesn't give a shit what everyone gets up to as long as the job gets done. 

Annie, when she finally notices, does not have the same outlook. 

Reggie <em>was</em> dialing it in when Annie was around, before. He didn’t understand where they stood with each other let alone what the fuck was going on between her and Hughie, but he didn’t want to get Hughie in any trouble just because Reggie found himself with a crush on the person who’s life he ruined. 

The only person who’s ever <em>really</em> forgiven him for it. 

Once he found out that they are apparently only half together or whatever the fuck you want to call it, he didn’t pay as much attention. They might be stumbling in the dark with each other and not saying anything they need to out loud, but Reggie took Hughie’s explanation for what he thought it was. 

Hughie isn’t… unavailable. Not anymore. 

Reggie is kicking himself mentally for not being more prepared when Annie has him cornered in his own house, all the lights off because she has taken every last speck of power out of them and is holding it in her body. 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

”I have no idea how to answer that-“

”With <em>Hughie</em>.”

Reggie sighs, looks away. That’s the goddamn question isn’t it? What the fuck is he doing?

”He…” Reggie starts and he has to pause. He’s never said any of the things he thinks or feels for Hughie out loud, and he realizes now that he is scared to. Like giving voice to these feelings means that Homelander is around a corner waiting to take it from him. 

Reggie shakes his head, trying to clear it. 

“I just… I like him, Annie. He’s… a good guy. Like a disgustingly good guy and I know I don’t deserve fucking anything from him but he… he is the first friend I’ve had in a long time.”

The light in her eyes starts to dim a little, calming down. 

“Friend?” She asks and her tone suggests that she knows damn well how he feels about Hughie. 

“Right now, yeah. But,” Reggie takes a breath, “I’ll take whatever he wants to give me. Whatever he… wants. That’s what I want.”

Reggie swallows, his throat tight. God, this is embarrassing. He should’ve just run when he noticed her here. Let her burn his fucking house down. 

Annie doesn’t say anything for a few minutes. Just staring at him. Reggie looks back as long as he can before he looks away. Out the window, down at the floor, anywhere but into Annie’s eyes. 

“If you hurt him, even in the <em>slightest</em> of ways,” Reggie is already nodding, “I will tear you apart and you will <em>wish</em> that you’d gone down with Homelander.”

Reggie huffs out a laugh. “Y’know, Annie,” he looks back into her eyes, “I believe you.”

She nods once before the lights in his house flicker back to life. She walks past him and out of his house without a word. It makes sense that she would still feel the need to protect Hughie from him. In a weird way, Reggie is glad. He’s never really been <em>trying</em> to hurt anyone, and he did anyway. He doesn’t want to hurt Hughie. Not ever again. 

It’s good to have someone willing to stop him this time.

For a while, things stay the same. There are missions and Reggie is still wandering the streets at home in plain clothes, running interference where he can. He’s playing vigilante instead of hero. There are a few people who see him a lot that have noticed. Neighbors catching on to who he is, or was, and what he is up to now. They don’t make a big deal out of it, like they can tell that the last thing he wants is more attention, and he is so thankful. 

Things are good. 

Up until one of those people he saves is a tourist. He doesn’t wear a mask because he’s never been like that, and this neighborhood is his, he doesn't need to hide. But the person he sweeps out of harm’s way has his phone recording the whole time and as soon as Reggie stops moving, he gets clocked. 

“Oh my God, A-train?!”

Reggie tries to be cool about it,  “Me? Nah, I heard A-train retired.”

Not convinced. “Holy <em>shit</em>, no you are A-train I can't believe I was just saved by you. Are you back?”

The phone comes up in a more direct way, and Reggie does what he does best. 

He runs. 

Reggie is at home praying that whoever that dude was just pockets the video or takes it home and shows his friends but doesn’t try to make a big <em>deal</em> out of it. After pacing so much he really does wear down the carpet in his living room, he opens up his laptop and does something he hasn’t done in a long fucking time. 

He googles his own name. 

It hasn’t made it far yet, but that guy did definitely post the video and he also has a wall of fucking hashtags underneath it, trying to get it to as many people as possible. 

Reggie helped take Vought down, at the end. He helped take Homelander down. There are people who commend him for that. There are people who are upset about it. 

There are people who think he still needs to pay for the things he did when he was in The Seven. 

Reggie doesn’t want… anything really, except to be left alone. He is trying so hard to atone and he is helping, in the ways he can, while staying out of the spotlight. 

He cannot have this ruin it for him. He can’t have this ruin it for the people in his neighborhood. 

Reggie picks up his phone and it isn’t really a conscious decision, calling Hughie, but who else would he be calling?

”Hey! I was just thinking about-“

”Hughie I’m fucked, there’s a video and this guy, God, I should’ve just left him there, huh? Or stolen his phone. How the fuck did I not realize he was recording?”

”Woah Reggie, slow down.”

”It's not just about me! Okay, maybe I dont deserve the peace I found but, fuck, the old guy down the street doesn’t deserve to have his life mobbed because I live here and everyone fucking hates me.”

”Reggie, hey, what are you talking about?”

”I’m gonna have to start running to fucking, Wisconsin, for my goddamn groceries- oh my God, fuck… I’m going to get arrested. I said I was retiring!”

”Reginald!”

Reggie stops talking. He opens his mouth again, pauses. “Did you just full name me?”

”Sorry! Sorry, I just, you weren’t stopping and I have no idea what you are saying because you are talking SO fast, could you slow down and also start at the beginning?”

Reggie takes a deep breath.

”I… I helped some guy, he was fucking… he was near a robbery and I moved him away and when I went back to make sure he was okay or that I didn’t accidentally run him three miles the wrong fucking direction y’know? Because I have fucking manners and I am helpful but he was fucking recording it and he posted it and everyone is going to know I live here and I have to move I guess I dont even know where to fucking go-“

”Okay, okay, hey, I need to interrupt again, send it to me.”

”What?”

”Reg, send me the video, the link, whatever you have. I work for the C.I.A, gimme a couple hours, we can do something about it.”

Reggie tries to breathe, “You’re gonna help?”

It sounds like Hughie maybe laughs a little on the other end of the phone, “Uhh, yeah? Of course I am.”

He says it so casually. 

He texts the video link to Hughie and then Hughie tells him to turn his shit on Do Not Disturb and to stay out of sight for the day. Hughie stops him before he hangs up. 

“Hey, Reggie.”

Silence. He’s waiting for an answer, “Yeah?”

”It’ll be okay. Trust me.”

”I do.” It’s out of his mouth before he really even thinks about it. Of course he trusts Hughie. He might be the most trustworthy person he’s ever met, aside from Nathan. 

“Oh. Okay,” he can hear that goofy smile in his voice. “I’ll call you back later okay?”

”Yeah. Yeah alright.”

Hughie doesn’t call back. He shows up on Reggie’s doorstep. 

The knock on the door jolts him and he doesn’t think twice before speeding to see who it is. When he sees it's just Hughie, he sighs. 

“Dude, you gotta warn me, I’m all fuckin’ high strung.” Reggie says as he opens the door to Hughie who is carrying several bags. 

“Uh, what the fuck?” he asks, not unkindly.

Hughie is already shoving his way through the door when he starts to respond, “Okay, so I stopped at the store and then I remembered several things in a row about the running and your metabolism,” Hughie sets all the bags down on the coffee table and straightens back up, “Is that weird? I shouldn't know about your metabolism.”

Reggie can feel a smile already, “Dude, everything about me has been public information for a long time. It’s not that weird.”

Hughie smiles and swallows, going back to his several bags. 

Reggie smiles, he likes the reminders of how much Hughie used to love him, even if he was a piece of shit at the time. He wanted A-train to mean more than he did, and sometimes, like this, there is proof that he did. Even a tiny bit. 

“Well, so I was like, we should totally drink to shake off today but that's where the metabolism thought came in and so I grabbed like, a bunch of snacks because at least I know you need the calories?” Hughie turns away and Reggie can hear him mutter <em>’that was a weird thing to say, too’</em>, before he barrels on. 

“Anyway, then I was thinking of things that don't necessarily get metabolized and so I went home and grabbed my weed but then I realized that I didn’t ask if you smoke, and, fuck,” Hughie’s eyes go big, looking at Reggie, “I didn’t even think. Shit, Reggie, I’m sorry, the fucking V, God I’m so stupid let me just-“ Hughie looks like he is going to have a heart attack as he reaches for all the bags again, like he has to take it all and run. 

Reggie steps in close and grabs Hughie by the shoulders, stopping any movement and talking he was doing. 

“I appreciate the sentiment but me using V was pretty different from weed, as far as drugs go.” He watches the tension drop out of Hughie’s shoulders. He really wears every fucking emotion on the outside. “I haven’t smoked in a while but you're right, I’ll metabolize the alcohol too fast and it would just be a very drunk you and a very sober me.” Reggie looks down at the bags shrugging, “and snacks are always good. I'm glad you’re a creep who knows all about my superpowers.”

Reggie is trying to joke with him to lighten the mood and it does sort of work except it also makes Hughie blush. He's rubbing the back of his neck and he’s doing that <em>stupid</em> smile and he is blushing, all the way down his neck. 

Reggie wants to touch it. Could touch it, before Hughie even noticed the movement. 

He doesn’t move. He doesn’t want to try and steal any affection from Hughie. Not when there is a chance he could have it, freely given. 

Stepping back from Hughie, Reggie gestures at the couch. “Make yourself at home, lemme grab some shit and then we can smoke one of those joints, watch a movie and eat every last one of those snacks.”

Hughie smiles and it is the goofiest thing Reggie has ever seen. Always this soft, off to the side thing, that makes Reggie want. 

He walks away. 

Reggie comes back with blankets, a used candle to be their ashtray and a couple bottles of water.

He throws the remote at Hughie, who catches it and asks, “Is it too soon to watch all the A-Train movies?” 

Reggie takes the remote back and smacks Hughie with a pillow. 

Reggie doesn’t know what time it is but they’ve made it through… at least two movies. He isn’t counting. Hughie has good weed and Reggie is about to ask about it before he realizes that it definitely came from Frenchie. 

Hughie is telling him about seeing the first Homelander movie in theaters with his dad and his best friend at the time. Reggie is watching him gesture with those big fucking hands and he feels a warmth start to spread through him. Reggie was sure he was going to be mostly alone on the other side of all the Vought bullshit. It was the best case scenario because the alternative was him in jail. 

He isn’t alone. Reggie wouldn’t say it where they can hear but M.M and Frenchie, Kimiko and even Annie. They’ve become like acquaintances at least. Hughie has become so much more than that. 

Reggie really would have been happy with just Hughie’s forgiveness. Forgiveness and indifference are all he wanted. He’s got a lot more than that, here, with Hughie. 

Reggie thinks of Hughie making him stop running to get his phone number. Who texts Reggie at all hours with all sorts of dumb shit, even if Reggie wasn’t answering in the beginning. Hughie who didn’t think twice to help him and used government fucking dollars to do it. 

Hughie, thinking about his fucking metabolism at the grocery store. 

Reggie shifts so he’s facing Hughie, leg folded up on the couch. Hughie sees him move and starts to trail off. 

“What?” Hughie asks, when Reggie does nothing but stare. 

He’s doing that stupid smile again. His eyes are so pretty. So full of life even after all that’s happened to him. Reggie grabs the front of Hughie’s shirt and pulls him in. 

It’s different this time, mostly because Reggie knows it’s happening and so he has the awareness to get Hughie’s top lip in between his. To lick gently at Hughie’s lip and feel him gasp against his mouth. Reggie digs the hand not twisted in Hughie’s shirt into his hair. Threads his fingers through soft brown curls and holds on. 

Hughie makes a soft, eager noise in his throat. 

Reggie pulls back but doesn’t move his hands. Keeps Hughie in his hold. He opens his eyes and remembers what he meant to say to Hughie before. 

“Thank you.” He whispers. 

“For what?” Hughie asks, eyes on Reggie’s mouth. 

“Today. You’re… you’re so nice to me.” 

Hughie’s eyes flick up to his, “So, is this… how we say thank you or do you maybe want to kiss me again?” 

It is the first time Hughie has ever brought up the kiss at the concert. A thank you. And here Reggie is, saying thank you. He laughs. 

“Both. This is how I take my thank you’s.” 

Reggie leans back in as he says it which means he gets to press his lips to Hughie’s answering smile. Gets to feel the little laugh leave his mouth. Reggie tilts his head, takes the hand off Hughie’s shirt and presses a thumb into his jaw instead, digs into the hinge of his jaw so he can lick into Hughie’s mouth. 

Hughie whimpers and Reggie feels hot. He can’t remember the last time he was this turned on. The last time it felt like this, to kiss someone. Hughie has his hand on Reggie’s wrist, just hanging onto him. 

Reggie is trying, really he is, to not move too fast. This is new and delicate, especially between them. He doesn’t want to mess this up. 

A picture flashes in Reggie’s mind. Hughie, naked in a house full of supes, minutes before Reggie ran Bluehawk into the ground. The first time he apologized to Hughie and meant it. He wasn’t blushing then. Hughie was angry and sneering at Reggie and it was one of his worst days for more than one reason.

Reggie shoves that away because this Hughie, he keeps whining and squirming on the couch and Reggie isn’t thinking anymore when he pushes up on his knees and swings a leg over Hughie. He feels hands push up from his knees to his hips. Then up his stomach to his chest. 

Pushing Reggie away. 

He pulls back, breathing heavy, “Sorry, sorry. Too fast?” 

Hughie’s head is hanging down between them. 

Reggie swings himself back off Hughie’s lap, down onto the couch beside him. He reaches for Hughie’s hands, he still hasn’t looked up. 

“Hughie?” 

He swallows. “Sorry.” He says. It’s so small. 

“For what? It’s okay, it’s fine. I was pushing-” 

“No, no, Reg. It’s not you.” He is looking at Reggie again. He lets out a breath. 

“God, it’s not you. Really and that’s… crazy, right?” 

Reggie stills.  

“No, sorry that came out wrong but I mean it Reggie it’s… I <em>want</em> this.” 

“Okay. It seems like maybe you don’t totally want this.” 

Hughie breathes in and out. 

“Do you think we could talk about this when I’m less high?” 

Reggie snorts. “Yeah, you fuckin’ lightweight.” 

Hughie smiles at him, happy to be back to joking. Letting whatever that was go for the moment. Reggie scoots closer to him. 

“You sure you’re good?” 

Hughie nods, “We can… I, uhm, we can do what we were doing I just uh, maybe just that?” 

Reggie is nodding, “We can go back to shitty movies.” He offers, the last thing he wants to do is make Hughie uncomfortable. 

Hughie shakes his head, smiles at him, “Such a gentleman, Reginald.” 

Reggie shoves his face into the back of the couch, “Oh my GOD, stop.” 

Hughie puts a hand on the side of his neck, thumb brushing his jaw. Reggie turns his face out of the cushion and looks up at Hughie. 

“What?” Reggie asks when Hughie does nothing but stare with a dopey grin. 

“Look, this is like, fucked up maybe on some level but, “ he bites his lip, “there is a teenage version of me who very much wanted to kiss you and… here we are.” 

Reggie sits up and kisses him again and again and again. If this is all he can give Hughie in this life than he will do it as long as he is allowed. 

The next morning isn’t as weird as Reggie worried it would be. He wakes up with Hughie's head on his chest and a lanky arm across his waist. They fell asleep on the floor in a mess of blankets, relocating there after they made out on the couch until Hughie had a neck cramp and then they laid down to finish their awful movie. 

Now, with the sun coming in, and sober, Reggie’s nerves kick in. 

He wants this, he realizes now, in a desperate way. Getting to put his hands on Hughie and pull all those noises from him, Reggie realizes he has it much worse than he thought. 

Reggie is so scared to fuck this up. Again. More than he already has before. 

He lays there, hand in Hughie’s hair, until Hughie finally stirs. 

Hughie digs his face into Reggie’s chest like it's a pillow and some of his nerves already feel less now with Hughie nuzzling into him. He pulls his head back, laying on Reggie’s arm instead of his chest so he can look at him. 

“Hi.”

It’s scratchy. Reggie wants to kiss him. 

He stays back, trying to pretend he has any self control to work with. 

“Hey.”

Hughie licks his lips, eyes darting all over Reggie’s face. Reggie doesn’t know what he’s looking for but he lets him look, rolls towards Hughie wrapping an arm around his waist. Hughie seems to relax.

”You good?” Reggie asks. Not sure what that moment was. 

“I just… wanted to make sure there wasn’t any regret or anything.”

Reggie shakes his head, “No. No regrets yet.”

Hughie scoffs, “Yet?” 

Reggie huffs out a breath, “No, not…,” Reggie swallows, “I’m not any fucking good at this Hughie. You know, intimately, how my last relationship ended.”

Hughie’s mouth snaps shut. 

“I just don’t want to fuck this up.” 

Hughie scoots closer, wraps himself around Reggie, tucking his face into his neck. Reggie hugs him back, nose tucked into his throat. He breathes him in, wondering if this is where Hughie rips the band-aid off, to save them the pain of it later. Maybe he is the one who was feeling regretful and he was hoping Reggie would meet him there. Maybe he-

“Reggie, the ‘i don’t want to fuck this up’ is just what you feel with something new, that you want and, and I’m sorry in advance because of how fucked up this sentence I’m about to say is, but we did sort of start with the awful fucked up things and worked our way backwards, right?”

Reggie’s mouth is hanging open. 

What a fucking insane thing to say. 

He’s sort of right. 

Reggie pulls back, just enough to look at Hughie’s face. He looks nervous, like he thinks that was the moment he pushed too far. 

He pulls his arms free and gets a hand on each of Hughie’s cheeks. He stares into Hughie’s eyes. He wants to look at him enough to replace the memory of that first time. 

Reggie leans in and presses his lips to Hughie’s. He turns his head as he kisses each cheek, under his eyes, his forehead, his nose. 

“That’s a crazy ass thing to base a fucking relationship off of,” Reggie starts, laughing through it, “but it’s sort of true, so.” He just shrugs. 

Hughie is smiling so big at him, “Oh, he said relationship. You gonna be my boyfriend, Reggie?”

The question hits him in the chest. It is what he wanted, obviously, but it felt like an idea. Like he wanted it in some abstract way where he knew he could never have it. Even after spending half their night making out in his living room, Reggie feels winded at the idea that it could be real. Something he gets to have in the light of day, like a regular person. 

He stares long enough that Hughie starts to doubt himself, he can see it on his face. Reggie pushes himself up on his elbow, shoving Hughie gently onto his back.

”Baby, I am going to be THE boyfriend, you have no idea.”

Hughie laughs and Reggie breathes it in.

Hughie has to go to work, and Reggie is going to run him there, when he’s ready. But until then, it is too hard to resist getting his hands on Hughie, touching him, kissing him. He’s blushing and Reggie can touch it now. Can press his mouth to it to feel how warm his skin is. It takes them so long to get through breakfast and then through two showers and then out the door. 

Reggie stops at the bottom floor of the tower. Wants to be able to say goodbye to Hughie without the other four just staring. 

“See you later?” 

“Yeah,” Hughie breathes out, “yeah, I’ll call you when I’m off.”

Reggie tilts his head up towards Hughie, “C’mere.”

He could get addicted to this, the look in Hughie’s eye, the way he leans in to kiss him. It is addicting and that is dangerous, but this is the best vice he’s ever had. Being addicted to this might be the best thing that could happen to him.

His only addiction that won’t fuck up anything.

He doesn’t take it too far, they are in an office building after all, but he kisses Hughie slowly, if not deep. A kiss with some promise behind it, something to leave him with until later. 

The peace, of course, is short lived. 

Apparently everyone is late today because with them in the lobby, is Frenchie, Kimiko and Annie. They don't see them until after they pull apart and Frenchie’s voice rings through the lobby. 

“Are you kidding me?!”

They both turn and Reggie wants to take Hughie and run back home. He knew they’d find out and he doesn't care, but he had hoped for maybe the rest of the day in peace. 

“Okay, Frenchie, look, I know we have a complicated background-“

”I cannot believe you would kiss him before you kiss me?!”

Hughie stops. “Wait, what?” 

“You and Annie and then me and of course, Kimiko, and then Annie and Kimiko even, have their time together but you pass directly over me and go to A-train?!”

Hughie’s mouth is hanging open and Reggie decides that Frenchie is Hughie’s friend, so he’s going to leave him in charge of this one. He kisses Hughie on the cheek too quick for anyone to see and almost too quick for Hughie to feel, and then he’s gone. 

The next couple of weeks consist of them going on the world’s most normal dates. Dates you wouldn’t expect for someone who was in the Seven as long as Reggie was, or for someone who has taken down half the Vought supes in the country. 

They get dinner, they go to the movies. They go sightseeing. Reggie remembers what it feels like to flirt and the way Hughie blushes and flusters is like blood in the water. They’ve ended up at each other’s apartments most nights, wrapped in one another. 

Reggie hasn’t asked about Hughie throwing on the brakes, physically. 

He is fine waiting, actually. He doesn’t know what is going on with Hughie, but he told Reggie that it isn’t him, and so he is ready to leave that ball in Hughie’s court. 

He <em>is</em> leaving that ball in Hughie’s court, but the problem is, Hughie keeps pushing before he tears himself away, looking uncomfortable and like he’s done something wrong. He won’t let Reggie apologize, insisting it isn’t him, and he keeps telling him they’ll talk about it later, but he doesn't bring it back up. 

But here they are again, Hughie whining into his mouth, his hands clutching onto Reggie like he thinks he might lose him if he lets go. 

He loves the way Hughie touches him. It’s desperate. His big hands all over him like he can’t decide where he wants to put them, trying to touch all of Reggie at once. 

In between Charlotte, all he ever had was flings, people in Supe bars who wanted him for his suit, his name. Hughie knows the darkest parts of him, has seen him at his worst, and is still kissing him like he is worth something. 

It makes Reggie’s brain melt. He was so sure he wouldn’t have the chance for this again. To have someone who wants him, wants Reggie and not A-train. He is sure he is coming across as just as desperate. He wants to climb Hughie, wants to see him come. Wants to show him what his refractory period is like.

And so here they are again, on the edge of it. Reggie is keeping his hands above the waist, making sure there isn’t even the notion of him pushing any farther. But it’s Hughie. Hughie is squirming, inching closer, whimpering into Reggie’s mouth. Reggie bites at his lip, trying to keep his head above water. 

Hughie stops kissing him enough to speak, “Touch me?”

It’s a whisper but it is so loud in Reggie’s ears. “Yeah?” 

He has to be sure, won’t do anything Hughie doesn’t want. 

Hughie is nodding, determination on his face. Reggie wants him to let go, stop thinking so hard, let Reggie take care of him. 

Reggie kisses him again, licking into his mouth. He doesn’t know what is making Hughie so nervous but he can distract him. He slides a hand, slow, just under the hem of his shirt, gets his hand around Hughie’s hip and tugs. He seems to shut down fast when Reggie pins him in any way, so he pulls at Hughie, dragging him into his lap. 

Hughie gasps, hands on Reggie’s shoulders. He’s got his hands under Hughie’s shirt, rubbing soothingly up his back, “I’ve got you.” A breath shudders out of Hughie and he sinks down a little, getting his mouth back on Reggie’s. Reggie tries to get him back to where he had him, desperate and noisy and not thinking so much. He feels the goosebumps under his hands. 

Hughie is starting to melt under his hands and so Reggie pushes, just a little. Hughie said to touch him, he won’t jump straight there, but he grabs Hughie’s hips, pulls him down. Hughie gasps, hands clinging at Reggie’s shoulders. Reggie’s eyes are open, watching Hughie’s face, watching his mouth hang open, feeling the way he shudders. 

For a moment, it’s perfect. Reggie loses his own breath looking up at Hughie. 

Then, Hughie’s face crumbles, he is scrambling out of Reggie’s lap and Reggie is trying to help him get there without him falling off the couch. As soon as Hughie is back on the couch, Reggie pulls back. 

He doesn’t say anything for a moment, lets Hughie breathe. 

“Sorry.” It is small and broken and Reggie feels sick. 

“Hughie, <em>don’t</em> apologize, Jesus Christ.”

Hughie’s shoulders start to shake. 

“Hughie, can I…?” 

He doesn’t need to finish because Hughie is already tipping himself back into Reggie’s arms, letting Reggie hold him. 

Reggie is rubbing his hands soothingly all over Hughie, his back, his arms. He keeps pressing kisses into Hughie’s hair. 

He isn’t going to <em>make</em> Hughie talk, even though he is dying to know what happened so he can do his best not to add to it. Instead, he lets Hughie cry it out, and then he pulls him up off the couch and drags him into the kitchen. He sits Hughie down on a stool at his kitchen island and he goes to make them some coffee. The only reason he has it in his house is for Hughie when he stays over. 

Reggie puts the mug down in front of Hughie and drags his chair closer so their knees are touching. 

In the end, he doesn’t have to ask. 

Hughie starts talking and it’s like he is trying to rip a band aid off. Some of the things he says, Reggie had an idea about. He knows Tek Knight was a freak but he didn’t realize how far things went that night. Reggie did not know about the shapeshifter or the proposal gone horribly wrong. Hughie is saying all of it with his face pointed down at the mug in his hands. 

Reggie feels angrier than he’s been in a while but with nowhere to put it. Tek Knight is dead. The shapeshifter is dead. Homelander is dead. 

“I don’t know, my wires are all crossed and I have these nightmares about,” he pauses, swallows, “about you and me. And it isn’t ever you, after. It’s someone wearing your face and then I’m back in that camp, alone and fucking scared.” 

Reggie watches the tears spill over and run down Hughie’s cheeks. He feels sick. 

“It’s like, when it gets too heated, my body starts to panic. I know that you are <em>you</em>, Reggie, but I was sure that Annie was Annie too, until it was too late.”

Reggie doesn’t know what to say. His chest hurts. Not for the first time, Reggie thinks about how Hughie wasn’t anywhere near any of this. Not until he ran through Hughie’s girlfriend. Reggie doesn’t say anything out loud, he won’t make this moment about him and his guilt. 

Eventually he pulls his chair closer to Hughie and does the only thing he can think to do, he wraps his arms around Hughie and holds him tight. Hughie clings to the back of his shirt and Reggie has to blink back his own tears. 

“Uh, I know that was a lot, but the silence is sort of making me nervous…” Hughie says to the floor. 

“God, Hughie, I’m sorry. I don’t… know what to say.” Reggie pauses to take a deep breath, “to be honest, I’m wrestling with how glad I am that the people who hurt you are dead and how pissed I am that I didn't get to kill any of them.”

Hughie snorts at him. That’s a good sign. 

“I’m so fucking bad at this, man, but…” he pulls his hands back so he can get them on Hughie’s face, pulling so they can look at each other. Hughie’s eyes are bloodshot and wet. Reggie swallows. 

“I want you, a lot okay? This fuckin’ nerd thing you got goin’ really works for me,” There’s a smile starting on Hughie’s face, “But to be clear, I’ll run myself into the fucking ocean before I ever hurt you again.”

Hughie’s mouth opens but Reggie cuts him off.

”No, listen to me, don’t you ever make excuses for me or act like it’s not so bad just because of what we are now.” Reggie shakes his head, “Listen, just please don’t push yourself because of me. If you never want to do more than make out then I won’t have any complaints, because this is already so much more than I ever thought I’d have.”

Hughie reaches for him again, arms wrapping around Reggie’s neck as he scrambles out of his chair and into his lap. Reggie wraps around Hughie’s waist and holds him tight. <em>I love him</em> Reggie thinks, and he feels nauseous with it. He tucks his head down, pressing his mouth into Hughie’s shoulder before any of the thoughts he’s having start to spill out. 

They stay like that until Hughie’s back starts to hurt from the way he is hunched over. The coffee didn’t do anything for the emotional exhaustion of this conversation so he stands up, Hughie still wrapped around him. He carries him upstairs to his bedroom while Hughie giggles at the fact that he’s getting carried around. 

“Not a lot of people carrying me around.” Hughie says, with a nervous laugh. 

“Get used to it, princess.” 

Hughie turns away, laughing. Face red and smiling. 

Reggie wants him so badly, but if he can keep making Hughie smile, that would be enough for him. 

Things don’t change. They talk on the phone, they go on dates. Reggie runs him places just to hear that breathless laugh he does. He counts every moment he and Hughie have as the blessing it is. He’s on borrowed time, a second chance he plans to make the best of. 

Hughie has a toothbrush at his house. Clothes in the drawer. He works from there sometimes. Reggie is trying to work up the courage to just tell him to leave the rest of his stuff there and to get rid of the apartment, Chicago is better anyway. He thinks about just handing him a key and not saying anything and then running. 

He hasn’t done either yet. 

With Reggie able to go anywhere, anytime, and with Hughie sleeping at his house so often, they actually don’t talk on the phone much anymore. Every once in a while, Hughie ends up on some errand for the C.I.A and Reggie can’t just run to where he is. So they are on the phone, in their respective beds, laughing together like teenagers. 

Reggie didn’t have this when he was a teenager. Too busy training and worrying about his numbers so he could apply to be in the Seven. 

Hughie doesn’t even know all the firsts he’s given him. 

Reggie is staring up at the ceiling, listening to Hughie talk about how M.M. and Frenchie were yelling at each other earlier that day. 

“At a certain point, he switches completely over to French to argue and, I know what you’re thinking, that's when it must end, right? Wrong. M.M keeps yelling his own arguments over the french for the next five minutes.”

Reggie laughs, “Man, it’s a wonder you guys have lasted this long with all this dumbass behavior.” 

“The dysfunction is where we get our power.” Hughie says. Reggie can hear the smile. 

“Don’t I fuckin’ know it.” 

He hears Hughie’s soft laugh and then he hears him moving around. He closes his eyes, thinks of Hughie trying to get comfortable in the bed of whatever hotel they’re at. 

Hughie clears his throat, “Can I ask you something?”

”’Course.”

Reggie still has his eyes closed, thinking of the way Hughie tucks his face into Reggie’s shoulder, when he sleeps. 

“Um, do you remember the… the night we talked about um, the night I told you about the stuff? From, from before? Like the um, physical stuff?”

Reggie could never forget. It took him weeks to stop thinking about it so constantly. 

“Yeah.” Reggie says, slowly. He’s nervous, why is he bringing this up? His heart skips. 

“Uh,” he hears Hughie swallow, “I was wondering, like if, if we hadn’t stopped, on the couch, what uh… what were you… gonna do?”

Reggie’s breath gets stuck in his throat. 

“What… Hughie. What was I gonna do?” 

“Like, if I didn’t stop you, and like if I didn’t have a freak out to worry about, what… were you gonna do with me?”

Reggie feels hot, he sits up. 

“Why are you asking me that?”

”Because I… have been working on some things and I… want to know.”

“Are you… sure?”

”Yeah, I…” Hughie sighs, “I’m asking, I want you to… tell me. Please.”

Reggie swallows. He scoots back to lean against the headboard. He hasn’t said anything yet but he can feel himself already starting to get hard at just the thought of getting to tell Hughie how fucking badly he wants him. 

“I… I wanted you in my lap so I could feel you, feel how bad you wanted it.” Reggie closes his eyes, thinks back to that night. 

“I wanted to feel you, grinding in my lap, desperate in that way you get when you’re really turned on.” 

Reggie has to force himself to let up some of the pressure he’s putting on his phone, loosen his grip. His other hand is digging into the blanket under him. Hughie asked for this and Reggie is trusting him but he doesn’t want to take advantage and Hughie didn’t…. Tell him they were having phone sex tonight and so he doesn’t touch himself. Hughie is asking him for this and Reggie is going to give it to him. Prove he can be trusted with this. 

“I uh… I wanted to feel you come against me. I wanted to <em>hear</em> you.”

”Yeah?” Hughie says and it’s breathless. Reggie tilts his head back into the headboard. 

“God, Hughie, you’re so noisy. Even when we’re just kissing, you <em>whine</em> and it’s, I love it. I wanted to hear it, wanted to hear that punched out noise you make again and again, every time I pull your hips down.”

Reggie hears that whine, now. Hughie is making that noise just from Reggie talking. 

“Yeah, yeah just like that. There it is. You gonna make some noise for me, baby?” 

“Fuck, Reggie…”

He hears the blanket start to tear under his fingers. Hughie whimpering his name is too much. Reggie isn’t going to be able to think about anything else ever again. 

“Yeah, baby, I’m here. Where’s your hand?”

“It’s… It’s just, in my lap.” 

“You gonna let me hear you touch yourself, sweetheart?”

Hughie gasps in a breath. 

“I… yeah. Yeah.” 

Reggie hears the sound of clothes moving and he bites his lip. He wants this so bad. Wants to make Hughie feel good. 

Hughie groans, loud, and Reggie knocks his head into his headboard, trying to stay focused. 

“Yeah, there it is, that’s what I want to hear.” Reggie says. He still isn’t touching himself, but his hips are twitchy. Looking for friction that isn’t there. 

“Reggie…”

He tears a chunk out of the blanket as his fist closes. 

“God, you sound good. That night, I wanted so much, I wanted you to grind on me but I wanted to touch you too, get my hand around you and watch you fall apart. Trace how far that blush goes.”

He could hear Hughie’s breathing pick up, he was getting close. 

“You gonna come for me now, baby? I can hear how close you are, please Hughie, please let me hear it?”

Reggie’s never been one for begging but it doesn’t even feel like begging right then, he isn’t asking just because he wants it, he needs it. He needs to be the reason Hughie spills over his own hand, needs to hear it, even if this is the only time he ever does. 

“God, Reggie-“

Reggie has to get up. His name tearing out of Hughie’s chest while he comes is too much. He can hear the breath shuddering out of him. Reggie starts pacing in his room, panting while he listens to Hughie breathe through his orgasm and come down. 

“Holy shit.” He says. 

“Yeah,” Reggie agrees, but it’s thin. His muscles all feel pulled too tight. 

“Did… did you… finish?” 

Reggie blinks.

”No…?”

”What… why not?”

Reggie opens his mouth. Closes it. Tries again. 

“Well, you didn’t say… I didn’t want to, like, get off about you if you didn’t… say?”

Hughie is silent for a moment and Reggie is confused. 

“You didn’t get off with me because I didn’t… say you could?”

”Well, yeah.” Reggie says it like it's obvious, because it is to him. Hughie had been taken advantage of more than once. He was trusting Reggie when he asked him to talk him through this. He would never treat that lightly, even if he did ruin his comforter over it.

”God, Reggie, that’s…” Hughie pauses, “you’re incredible.” 

Reggie can hear that smile again. 

“Reggie, will you… will you let me listen to you?”

Reggie swallows. “What?”

“Reg, can I hear you… get off?”

He says these things like he’s nervous about it, just a hint of apprehension mixed in with the need and it makes Reggie feel insane. 

“Yeah, fucking holy shit, yeah Hughie, whatever you want.” 

His hand is in his sweatpants between breaths, wrapping around himself as he leans back against his wall. Too amped up to even think about moving back to his bed. 

“Don’t… don’t go too fast.” Hughie says, voice quiet like he isn’t sure he’s allowed to ask for things. 

Reggie makes himself slow down, Hughie’s right, his speed was about to get the best of him given the edge he’s been on since Hughie first asked him to talk about this. 

He groans as he tries to stay at a steady pace. The thought that Hughie wants him to last a little longer, to draw it out for him even though he’s already come. Reggie knocks his head into the wall. He feels hot in a way he doesn’t think he ever has. 

“Maybe,” Hughie starts, “Maybe next time, I could watch you. Would you let me watch you?”

Reggie has to slow down even more to stop himself from finishing, Hughie watching him. Hughie wants to see him, turned on and thinking of him and desperately trying to hold on. 

“Yeah, yeah, ‘course.” 

He keeps his pace even, making some noise of his own down the phone. He hasn’t been this turned on in… years. 

“Hughie, Can I?”

”…You’re asking?” He asks, surprised. 

Reggie didn’t even realize he’d done it. It wasn’t a decision, it's just, Hughie said not too fast and he wants this to be for him. He feels the embarrassment start to creep up but he’s too close right this second to care, he just needs to <em>come</em>.

”Y-yeah, baby, I’m asking.”

”Jesus fucking Christ, yeah, Reg, come on.”

Reggie’s hand speeds up, as fast as he can go and as fast as he can take it and before he knows it, his knees hit the floor and he’s coming, hunched over himself.

Reggie is still trying to catch his breath and decides to just tip over to the side and lay on the floor. 

They’re just breathing with each other on the phone for a few minutes. 

“You alright?” Reggie asks.

”Yeah… yeah, I’m great,” Hughie says, the smile back in his voice, “and, um, I miss you.”

Reggie blinks his eyes open. He misses Hughie. Really, truly, misses him. If someone had told him, what, five years ago, that he would be missing Hughie Campbell…

He holds in a laugh. 

“I miss you too, baby.”