Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

     Rumi’s been planning this scenario for weeks, months even. Today’s the day she’ll tell Mira how she feels. No running, no excuses, just pouring her heart out to the woman she loves. She won’t think about all the things that could go wrong because that would weaken the resolve she spent hours building.

     “Heyyyyyy Mira! No that’s lame. Hey there gorgeous…” She rehearses in the mirror, watching herself shoot finger guns while sporting a lame smirk. She sighs. No this wouldn’t work. Maybe she needs another day to prepare. Or week. Or month. Or a year wouldn’t hurt maybe…. No! She can’t give up this time.

     Over the years she’s tried to confess to Mira but whenever she opened her mouth the sentence that came out wasn’t what she intended. She tried telling Mira how she felt once, and Mira gave her that soft smile and her undivided attention and it made her stomach explode with butterflies. She opened her mouth and nothing but a small squeak came out before she rushed away to her room, leaving Mira bewildered and staring after her.

     Alas, this time won’t be anything like the other times! She’s brave! She’s strong! She’s terrified! She takes a long deep breath to steady herself before standing and throwing her door open triumphantly. She steps out and promptly comes face to face with Mira with one hand raised to knock on the door. She has a look of quiet surprise on her face before lowering her hand.

     Rumi freezes, one leg up in an exaggerated march forward. Being caught off guard was NOT the way she wanted this to begin. Her breath freezes in her lungs as she stares at Mira, plastering a smile on her face to feign nonchalance.

     “Rumi..! I wanted to check on you. You hadn’t come out of your room for a while…” Mira says gently, her gaze turning questioning as she takes in Rumi’s stiff posture and too big smile.

     “Oh! I was actually coming out now…haha…to talk to you.” Rumi chuckles with no humor, nerves making her hands fidget uneasily. Mira raises a perfectly sculpted eyebrow in question. Perfectly sculpted eyebrow on a perfectly sculpted face. Rumi wishes she were Mira’s eyebrows so she could be on her fac-

     “Talk to me about what? Is it bad? Do I need to get Zoey?” Mira asks with a twinge of worry, already turning towards Zoey’s room.

     “NO! I mean- no. I wanted to talk to just you. It’s not bad.” Rumi takes a deep breath through her nose before she continues.

     “I just wanted to talk to you about…how I feel about somebody. I really really like this person. But this person doesn’t know I like them. I’ve known them for a while, and we’ve grown very close. I care about them a lot and I would love to be more than friends with them.” Rumi exhales, carefully gauging Mira’s reaction.

     Her face is blank. No expression giving away how she feels or what she’s thinking. There’s a beat of silence before Mira opens her mouth.

     “You’ve known them a while? Who is it?” Mira questions with no more than a slight twitch in her eyebrow.

     “You know them very well.” Rumi says, leaning forward slightly, tingling with anticipation and fear.

     Mira’s face remains a painfully blank canvas. She doesn’t move and neither does Rumi. The air feels like it’s getting heavier and heavier with each second that goes by.

     “Oh. Alright. Hope it goes well.” Mira utters in an incredible even tone, before turning abruptly and walking away briskly, leaving Rumi standing in her doorway with a confused expression plastered on her face.

     Rumi closes her door and sits on the edge of her bed berating herself immediately. You know them very well???? How lame could she be? No wonder Mira walked away, she sounded like a 12 year old boy trying to confess to his friend who clearly isn’t interested. She groans, running her hands down her face.

     Maybe she just needs to try a different method. Yeah, that’s it, because clearly this one was too lame for Mira. If she wants Mira to know she’s serious about this she needs to try harder. Rumi stands up with a grin and begins pacing as she rubs her hands together like a fly, methodically planning her next move. She’d have to get Zoey in on her foolproof plan for operation confess to Mira.

***

     Mira storms to her room, slamming the door behind her. What was her problem? Why would she come to Mira about that? Mira of all people???? She’s spent the last few years dropping hints and subtly flirting with Rumi and none of it was reciprocated. Mira had finally begun to accept that maybe she just didn’t feel the same towards her and that hurt. It hurt more than anything. But she had begun to make her peace with the unrequited love that she was forced to endure. But now? Now Rumi comes to her to confess how she feels about Jinu?!

     To be quite honest she thought Jinu was out of the picture. Gone, a relic of the past even. Mira knows she should be supportive of her, that she should be a good friend and help her emotionally with her feelings. It shouldn’t matter if those feelings aren’t directed towards her. If it’s not Mira that she’s thinking about. Not Mira that she loves. Not Mira that she wants to hold her, to kiss her, to fu-

     She shakes her head. Point being, she should have been more supportive. She knows that. But when the words came out of Rumi’s mouth, she didn’t know what to do but leave. I mean, there’s no one else she could be talking about but Jinu. Known for a long time? She’s known Jinu long enough to count as a long time maybe. Someone Mira knows very well? Well, she doesn’t know Jinu all that well but maybe she’s referring to the fact that Mira knows Jinu’s stupid backstory and past. That's close enough really. All the signs point towards Jinu as much as she doesn't want to admit it. God, she hates Jinu with his stupid face and stupid hair. Rumi deserves better than that slimy cornball. A better person who would do any and everything for her, that would cater to her every whim and give her the love she deserves. A person like me. She wipes that thought from her head before it can fully formulate and strengthen the vice grip on her heart. 

     Anyways, once she realized Rumi was talking about Jinu, she felt overwhelmed by the disappointment and hurt that washed over her in chilling waves. It was too much to bear. Too much of a stark confirmation of Rumi's lack of feelings for her after all these years. A clear indicator that Mira had no chance and never did. Mira sighs, leaning against her wall before sliding down in a heap on the floor. She wants nothing more than to blast corny heartbreak music. Maybe sit in the shower with her clothes on to really up the dramaticism. She feels jealous and that makes her chest burn with shame. Rumi isn't hers to be jealous or protective over. Zoey would probably know what to do. She thinks forlornly, gathering herself up from the floor to make her way to Zoey’s room.

Chapter Text

     Zoey lay on her bed regarding Mira with quiet contemplation, nodding eagerly to show her undivided attention as Mira paces her bedroom and speaks fervently. She’s surprised the carpet hasn’t been rubbed clean off the floor from the way Mira’s feet are assaulting it.

     “And it’s insane that this is even happening now!” Mira finishes, raising her arms dramatically to emphasize her point. She looks at Zoey as she nods sympathetically. Zoey rests her head on her hand and yawns before she opens her mouth to respond.

     “I understand the timing seems a little late and all but to be honest, you should just be honest with your feelings man.” Zoey shrugs and lets her eyes follow Mira’s consistent and repetitive path.

     “Yeah, but how can I possibly be honest? It would be selfish of me to be honest. Really this seems like a perfect time to NOT be honest. I would be jeopardizing our friendship.” Mira shakes her head, brows wrinkling as she lets a small frown grace her otherwise perfect features.

     Zoey raises an eyebrow in confusion. She sits up and reaches a hand out to grab Mira’s arm, effectively stopping her march of madness. Seriously, her carpet is screaming for help.

     “Mira, how exactly would that be selfish? I’m sure that’s what she wants.” She speaks softly with care in her voice.

     “Zoey how can I tell her that I’m upset she’s in love with Jinu?” Mira exhales exasperatedly.

     “That would be unfair to her. My feelings shouldn’t get in the way of what she actually wants. That’s not fair.” She shakes her head and collapses on Zoey’s bed, covering her face in her hands.

     Zoey freezes. Her brows knit even further in confusion.

     “In love with-“She murmurs before she cuts herself off.

     “What was that?” Mira says, looking up at her.

     “Nothing! Nothing! Just…a lyric I remembered.” Zoey quickly mutters, offering a nervous chuckle and an even more nervous smile.

     “Just…did she say she was in love with Jinu? What happened?”

     “Well, she didn’t explicitly say Jinu, but the implication is clear as day. She told me she had feelings for someone, and it was someone she knew for a while and it’s someone I know really well.” Mira sighs as she recalls the conversation from hours ago.

     Zoey’s face falls into a disbelieving stare. There’s no way. She pinches the bridge of her nose and inhales sharply. If there was a camera to look into, she’d definitely be looking into it right now. She shakes her head before she responds again.

     “I really think you should just tell her how you feel. But if you really don’t want to, I think you should hear Rumi out. Give her a chance to explain herself. You never know what she’s going to say.” Zoey finishes with a soothing pat on Mira’s back. She snorts.

     “Yeah right. Like I’m going to just sit and listen to how much she loves Jinu. Maybe if it was her talking about how she threw him off a building I’d listen.” Mira’s lips curve into a menacing grin at the thought of Jinu soaring from 100 feet in the air. Zoey rolls her eyes with no real malice.

     “Whatever. Now go do something instead of sitting in my room sulking.” She accentuates her words with a light push against Mira’s back.

     “Fine, fine! I’m going.” Mira jumps to her feet and makes her way to Zoey’s door.

     “It’s your fault though if I turn up missing.” Mira laughs and ducks out of the way of a turtle plushie hurling towards her face.

***

     “And that’s why I need to confess to her in a better way. A more direct way. Maybe dancing around the subject is why it didn’t work.” Rumi muses with her head tilted back, gazing up at the ceiling, sitting on the side of Zoey’s bed. Zoey is lying on the bed with her head hanging over the side to dangle near Rumi’s.

     “Yeah, maybe you should have actually said ‘you’ instead of tiptoeing around it. ‘It’s someone you know really well’ is bad, even for you.” Zoey laughs heartily as Rumi turns her head to the side, letting out a long and drawn-out groan.

     “Don’t remind me. She caught me off guard, ok?! I swear I had something better planned.” She pouts as she recalls her embarrassingly terrible fail at a confession.

     “Something better? Like what, flying in on a magic carpet and whisking her away on a magical ride?”

     “Oh, I could show her a magical ride alright-" Her words are interrupted by a quick and calculated chop to the throat.

     “You’re disgusting, get it together.” Zoey giggles as she watches Rumi fall to the floor trying to recover.

     “But seriously though, I think if you just try again and be clearer about how you feel and what you want, things will go well. Communication is key.” Zoey nods with her eyes closed and a semi-serious deep look on her face and one finger raised in the air. Rumi sits up, grasping her throat gingerly as she glares at Zoey.

     “Totally, and I agree with you 100%. I’ve got an idea and there’s no way it can fail.” She nods with a satisfied look on her face. Yes, she has an idea alright. Not too extravagant and not too boring, albeit a bit old fashioned. Well, if you count a giant demon cat old fashioned. He’s old enough, it counts.  Plus, this plan makes it so that she doesn’t have to face the crippling agony of rejection face to face (if there is a rejection to be had.)

     “Can you tell me the plan at least?” Zoey waggles her eyebrows at Rumi and pokes her in her shoulder.

      “No, I can’t. You’ll hear about it when it succeeds. For now, it’ll just have to be shrouded in mystery.” Rumi shrugs with a sly grin.

       Truth be told, Rumi is a nervous wreck. Is this direct enough? Should she do something more? Should she just march over to Mira’s room right now and just blurt out years’ worth of feelings? She’s terrified that Mira will think all this is stupid and any miniscule chance she possibly could have had with Mira would be squashed. Even worse, she’s afraid she’ll ruin their friendship. Not having Mira the way she wants to have Mira would hurt sure, but losing her completely? That’s something she wouldn’t be able to handle. Not at all. The mere thought of Mira no longer looking at her with that soft look in her eye, like Rumi is the only important thing in the room, fills her with such sudden fear that it’s almost animalistic in its ferocity.

       She wouldn’t tell Zoey any of this though. She wants to keep this confident image, not for the sake of lies, but for the sake of her own sanity. Fake it till you make it. It’s not like she even has to tell her though; she’s sure Zoey can read the anxiety all over her face and in the stiff set of her jaw. After all, her girls know her better than anyone walking this planet. Almost as if she’s reading her thoughts, Zoey softens her gaze and lays a gentle hand on her shoulder in reassurance.

       “It’ll be fine. I’m sure it will. You know Mira has a hard time seeing things outside of her own head though, so be patient with her. It’ll all work out.” Zoey smiles gently at her and squeezes her shoulder. Rumi nods at her with a thankful smile.

        “Ok, I’ve gotta get started on this now or it’ll never get done.” Rumi slaps her legs like a grandpa ready to leave a family function and stands up to make her way towards the door.

        “I’ll see you when I have a girlfriend!” Rumi shoots Zoey finger guns and an exaggerated wink as the sound of a loud groan follows her out of the door.

***

        Mira startled awake to a scratching sound at her door. What the hell? She reached over to her bedside table to grab her glasses, squinting at the low light. Do I need to defend myself? She glanced over at her bedside table once again, making eye contact with the blue lamp that rests there.

        A couple of moments later, she’s standing beside her door clutching her table lamp with both hands, lamp raised above her shoulders protectively. The scratching sounds persisted. She briefly considered the possibility of it being Zoey just trying to fuck with her, but it was eleven-Ish at night, and Zoey would definitely be knocked out in the living room or her bedroom with some random YouTube video playing at an unhealthy volume.

        I have to open the door. I can’t get punked by a mystery sound. She jumped up and down, shaking her arms out at the elbow to loosen them up while maintaining an iron grip on the lamp. She drew in a long breath, then exhaled it steadily. “Alright, I’m gonna open the do- “

        Her jaw dropped as an abnormally large, blue tiger teleported through the door and appeared in front of her. Derpy. Of course it was Derpy. Mira sighed heavily and let her arms fall, finally releasing the poor lamp.

        “I love you, but you can’t scare me like that big guy. What are you even doing here? Shouldn’t you be with Rumi? Or Jinu? (Gag).” Mira wondered aloud, dropping down to watch him roll on his back to present his belly for rubbing. She scratched his stomach while he stared at her creepily. As she made to stand back up, she noticed something in his mouth, held gently between his gargantuan teeth. An envelope was clasped there, growing slightly damp from Derpy’s mouth. Mira reached a hand forward and gently plucked it from his mouth while he nudged her hand with his head for more pats.

        She rubbed a hand on her sleep shorts which left a trail of blue fur as she flipped the envelope to the other side to read what was written on the front in a delicate scrawl. “For you, my love.” A heart was drawn over the words, written in pink ink.

        Mira scowled at the piece of paper in her hands. This must be Rumi’s love note to Jinu. It’s in his tiger’s mouth, who else could it be for? She shook her head in disbelief. How did he manage to deliver this to the wrong person? No, maybe he didn’t. He was most likely just stopping by to get pats because Rumi wouldn’t. In too much of a rush to confer with her future lover Mira supposed.

        Mira tucked the envelope back between Derpy’s cartoonishly arranged teeth, making sure it was in there properly. At this he tilted his head in confusion, wide yellow eyes boring into her irritated brown ones.

        “You got what you wanted, now take this to who it belongs to.” She says, shuffling back to her bed to sit. He rolls his large body around until he’s on his feet and approaches her once more. He stares at her for a few seconds before opening his mouth and letting the envelope fall at her feet. Her eye twitches in annoyance.

        “Come on, I’m not doing it for you.” She picks the envelope up and manually opens his mouth, pushing it open from his teeth so she can put the letter back between his jaws. Once situated, he promptly releases his jaws again so it can fall out. She lets out a groan.

        “Derpy come on!” She looks around her room in exasperation before her eyes rest on her desk. Her lips curl into a grin as she gets a splendid idea.

        30 minutes and a lot of fur later, she has the envelope duct taped to Derpy’s back, situated in just the right way so he can’t pull it off or rub his back against the floor to scrape it off. She dusts her hands off as if she’s actually completed something difficult as she admires her handiwork.

        “Ok now off you go!” She says as she lightly pushes him towards the door. He turns back to give her a single dismayed look before stepping through the door. It’ll always be freaky how he can do that. With that handled, she lays on her bed again to glower about the most recent development of her unrequited love.

         Is Rumi going to get a boyfriend now? A small spiteful part of Mira hopes that Jinu rejects her. Crushes her even so that Mira can be the supportive person, show Rumi that she’s who she really wants and not that slimeball. It’s selfish and a little cruel but she can’t help it. Every fiber of her being wants him to be a stupid jerk so that Rumi’s attraction to him can fizzle out like a wet firework.

         She can’t help but imagine herself with Rumi, can’t help but imagine being her knight in shining armor. Being the one to soothe her and kiss her forehead, hold her until she falls asleep in her loving embrace. Be surrounded in Rumi, in Rumi’s scent, in Rumi’s arms, in Rumi, Rumi, Rumi, Rumi.

         She rolls over on her stomach and buries her face in her pillow, closing her eyes and letting the coolness of the bed and her longing fantasies lull her to sleep.

***

         Rumi sat on the edge of her bed with her elbows on her knees, nervously tapping her foot. What’s taking so long? Are things going bad? Did Derpy get lost? Maybe “my love” was too much. She mentally facepalms herself, cursing every decision she made that led up to this point. I should go to sleep, so the time goes by faster. A nice idea, but that wouldn’t work. She’s so keyed up she could run a marathon around the block four times over.

         The sound of Zoey’s music blasting through the walls reaches her ears, enthusiastic singing to accompany it. It only accentuates the daunting silence from Mira’s room. Nothing. No music, no TV, no singing. Nothing at all. Is that a bad sign? Rumi chooses to believe that it’s a sign that she’s sitting in quiet contemplation about how much she loves Rumi. Totally. Yeah right.

          Just as she begins to ramp up her solitary pity party, a flash of blue appears to her left. She jumps up so quickly she nearly trips over her own feet. She notices an envelope clutched between his teeth. Mira wrote back? Please God let it be a proclamation of undying love. I mean, she wouldn’t write back a rejection, would she? She would do it in person. Mira’s usually upfront about her feelings. Then again, she also would talk to her face to face if it was a reciprocation.

          Derpy is looking at her with an almost guilty expression. She wonders what that’s about. She mentally shrugs it off as she pulls the envelope from his mouth and he sits down to watch her quietly. She takes a deep breath and turns the envelope around to read what’s on the front.

          “For you, my love.” What the hell? It’s her own letter. She lets a shocked look pass over her features and set up camp there. Her own letter?! What does this even mean? Is it a rejection? There’s no way Mira wouldn’t just tell her outright if that was the case. Sending her own letter back to her is crazy. Her chest begins to fill with that drowning, hopeless feeling.

          Maybe Mira didn’t even care enough to respond. Maybe she thought the mere idea of entertaining Rumi’s confession was absurd and didn’t even need a response. As Rumi inspected the envelope again with a wary eye, she noticed it wasn’t even open. What?!  Did she not care enough to even read it? Why not?

          Rumi’s wracks her brain for any reason why she possibly wouldn’t even read the letter. Did she know it was from Rumi? Did she know it was for her? Maybe Derpy didn’t even bring it to the right place. She looks at Derpy out of the corner of her eyes and receives nothing but a blank look and a lolling tongue in return.

           If she’s going to win Mira over it seems she’s going to have to take more drastic measures. Bring out the big guns if you will. She didn’t get any response at all from this, but no response isn’t a rejection, so she must still have a chance. After all, the letter is unopened, she still hasn’t technically confessed. An unread confession isn’t really a confession at all.

          She puts the note under her pillows, not wanting to throw it away or discard it. She’s going to have to plot something that can’t possibly go wrong, misinterpreted, or otherwise derailed. This is way harder than she thought, I mean, they make it look so easy in the fanfiction. At least that’s what Zoey says. She doesn’t read it. Well, maybe a little. Perks of being an idol means there’s plenty of x reader fics of her and her fellow groupmate. If you find a Rumira fic or two in her history disregard that.

          She has to cook something up that’s so clear, so in Mira’s face that she can’t ignore it or read it the wrong way. Rumi lays on her bed and contemplates both attempts so far and what her future attempt is going to be. She feels the bed dip heavily to the side as Derpy climbs up and plops himself on her legs. It’s a little harder to think with the feeling in her legs slowly ebbing away, but she stays focused on the goal.

          Her face brightens as an idea formulates in her head. An idea that’s better than the rest. Like Zoey said, she has to communicate clearly, and using indirect methods clearly isn’t working. Rumi reaches over to grab her phone (being mindful of the sleeping giant on her legs) and texts Zoey her idea. She lays out the plan and how it’ll involve Zoey and receives an instant and enthusiastic reply of confirmation, eager to be a participant in Rumi’s shenanigans. Honestly, she’s the biggest Rumira shipper that Rumi knows. Besides herself of course.

          Yes, it’s all coming together. She’s finally going to tell Mira how she feels. Clearly and in her face. And if she gets rejected, well at least she told her. It would hurt a lot sure, but it’s better to do something than nothing at all. Of course, she really hopes that she doesn’t get rejected. She wants Mira to love her as much she loves Mira. She hopes that Mira thinks about her the way she thinks about Mira.

          Her thoughts are consumed by pink, like flower petals in the spring. Pink hair, soft pink lips, a smile, a brush of hands. It’s easy to entertain the idea that Mira would like her back. The way Mira looks at her when she talks, an easy smile adorning her gentle features. The small things Mira does when she thinks Rumi isn’t paying attention. Adjusting her seatbelt for her or boiling just enough water for her own tea and Rumi’s. A light hand on her back when they’re walking together or a food already prepared and plated for her after a long day.

          Then again, it could just be wishful thinking. Right now, though, Rumi is satisfied with that as she falls deep in thought entertaining the idea, the sounds of Derpy purring away gently at her feet.

Chapter Text

     Rumi can admit her previous attempts at heartfelt transparency were.... less than direct. Sure, she was taking the easy way out a couple of times, sue her! Who can blame her. Not everyone can profess their undying love to a pink haired goddess. Anyone else would do the same if they were her. Maybe. Or she's just a wuss. This time, though, this time would be different. She said that last time, but this time would actually be different. She's confident this time, she won't run away, and she won't let Mira either. For better or for worse, everything will be put in the air tonight.

     Days were spent in preparation, carefully avoiding the suspicious gaze of Mira the entire time. Days spent shuffling past Mira with a tight grin and various items hidden behind her back. There were a few close calls. Like when Zoey dropped a handful of confetti (a rejected idea, nobody wanted to handle that mess afterwards) as she tried to tiptoe behind Mira as she ate her breakfast. Easily explained away as another part of Zoey’s bizarre behavior, some scheme or something similar. There was a time Mira walked in on Rumi and Zoey discussing various ideas and their effectiveness and Rumi hurriedly clapped a hand over Zoey’s mouth, forcing a loud laugh and some hardly functional excuse. Mira merely gave a questioning look, before walking away with a shrug, muttering something quiet that sounded suspiciously like “weirdos...”

     All in all, it was difficult. Difficult to come up with an idea (quite frankly her mind was wrung dry) and difficult to begin the execution of the idea. Zoey was a large help and contributed a lot. Well, after picking apart every flaw and detail about her plan with Derpy and how they absolutely should not listen to Rumi when it came to romantic endeavors. Although, she had this odd look on her face when Rumi wondered aloud why Mira might not have read the letter. Rumi had just chalked it up to her grimacing in sympathy for her yearning plight. A ping from her phone interrupted her train of thought.

Zdawg: Plan stopbeingaloser still in motion for tomorrow?

Rumi rolled her eyes in exasperation. She wants to change that contact name so badly, but Zoey will pout and hound her about it for days. She makes it even though with a contact photo of Zoey passed out on a rollercoaster that she forced Rumi and Mira to ride. 

Rumination: Plan make Mira my girlfriend is in fact still on for tomorrow.

Zdawg: That’s not what I said Rumi.

Rumination: ... plan “stopbeingaloser” is still in motion.

She hears a howl of laughter from the side of her room. Fine, laugh at her struggle, that’s fine.

Zdawg: Have you talked to her at all the past few days?

Rumination: Yeah, but it’s been short conversations. She seems like she’s got something on her mind tbh. You don’t think I’m upsetting her with all this do you?

Zdawg: No, I don’t think so. She’s probably just thinking about other stuff.

     Rumi hums in thought as she reads Zoey’s message. She heart reacts to the text and sets her phone back down. She’s filled with nerves about tomorrow. You would think that after attempting to confess two separate other times she would be over the getting nervous about confessing part, but alas, she is deliriously afraid. The same worries play over in her mind over and over again, with futile attempts on her behalf to drown them out.

***

     Mira has noticed the air in the house has been…. Off. Rumi and Zoey were scattering around like two little kids doing something they aren’t supposed to be doing. Having little meetings in the dead of night, huddling together on the couch whispering together, or talking in the living room and walking off more briskly than what can be considered casual when Mira walks through the door. Safe to say, they were definitely hiding something.

     Any other time she would have pressed to see what was going on. It wouldn’t have been difficult to corner Zoey during one of her late-night snack runs, mouth full, and interrogate her about whatever her and Rumi were up to. Whether it was something serious or some silly little game they were playing.

     Lately though, Mira has been distracted. Not too distracted to notice the behavior, but too distracted to act or look deeper into it. It’s hard not to be distracted when the woman you’ve loved for years has been ramping up in her affections for a man.

A stupid, idiotic man who hasn’t and wouldn’t do half the things I’ve done for her.

     Mira can’t shake the thoughts surrounding her romantic impending doom. Not to say there was any romance to begin with, but you know it’s a nice thought. There had always been a part of her that didn’t tell Rumi how she felt all these years because for as long as she kept it to herself, there was always the “maybe she’d like me back.” There was a 50-50 chance of a downright dismissal or reciprocity. But if she told her, if she laid her heart bare and Rumi discarded it, then that was it. There was no more, maybe no more hope. No chance at all. It was easier to keep it to herself and imagine what possibly could be then to risk it and have her heart crushed.

     Despite her reasoning for this cowardly route of action, she was beginning to regret it severely. If she had just come clean about how she felt then she wouldn’t be in this situation right now, regardless of whether the answer was a yes or a no. If Rumi declined, then she could have begun the process of getting over her right then and there. Would her feelings have dissipated? Of course not, but by now she could have been well practiced in accepting those feelings as a part of her while simultaneously having them packed away neatly and discarded in the closet of her mental.

     If Rumi had said yes, well then, she could be in the happiest situation she could ever even think of. She would never know now though. Even if, IF, Rumi felt the same towards her, she waited far too long. That’s evident in her active pursual of Jinu now. If there was a chance at her happily ever after with Rumi, she ruined it. All this to say, she probably would do the exact same thing again because while she can acknowledge in her own mind that there’s definitely a large chance Rumi doesn’t feel the same, hearing those damning words come out of her mouth would be completely different and completely heart-shattering. The fear of that alone is enough for her to keep her mouth shut and her feelings quietly locked away behind a schooled expression.

     “Shit.” She murmured to herself as her hand shook slightly, messing up the eyeliner that she was carefully applying. She was supposed to be going to a shoot today, something small that shouldn’t take up her entire day.  

     She planned on coming home and enjoying the rest of her day, keeping it quiet and uneventful. Maybe watch a movie with the girls and keep it lowkey. Anything to distract her from her ever worsening spiral of thoughts.

     She stood up with a sigh, grabbing her bag and leaving her room. She walks into the living room to exit the building and comes face to face with Zoey and Rumi yet again. Everyone freezes for a moment and looks at each other. Mira looks at Zoey, who looks at Rumi, who looks at Mira.

    “Why are you guys being so weird?” Mira finally breaks the silence with a question asked calmly and without judgement.

    “My parrot died-“

     “I dropped my favorite antique mug-“ Rumi and Zoey both say at the same time, looking at the other in bewilderment the moment the lies leave their mouths. Zoey shoves Rumi lightly, with a “dude what the hell? Antique mug?” leaving her mouth in shrill tones. Rumi only shrugs helplessly.

“Yours was no better! A parrot? You can’t take care of a parrot!” All this earns her is a scoff and a roll of the eyes from Zoey as she crosses her arms defensively.

She mutters, “I can too…” Rumi snorts at this.

“Can too. Toucan. Ha.” Rumi laughs at her own lame joke, while Zoey maintains a deadpan expression.

     All Mira can do is stare at them disbelievingly while they admonish each other and make painfully terrible jokes.  

     “Ok, I’m going to pretend either of those blatant lies made sense for your own sakes. I’m going to be out for a while, so get it together while I’m gone.” Mira scoffs when they both offer her a salute and stupid smiles, backs as straight as poles.

     “Have a good shoot Mir!” Zoey yells sincerely as Mira opens the door, beaming at her with a smile big enough to blind her.

     “Yeah, have a good shoot. You’ll do great.” Rumi says much more gently, looking into her eyes with a soft smile and an even softer look. One that could almost mean what Mira wants it to mean if she doesn’t think too hard about it. Her chest aches.

      She nods and smiles at the both of them before stepping outside and closing the door.

***

      It had been several long, long hours. The shoot clearly was running later than any of them had anticipated. Rumi was anxiously perched on the kitchen counter, while Zoey laid on the couch aimlessly scrolling on her phone. There hadn’t been much conversation between the two up until this point, although Zoey did send her a couple of videos despite being less than ten feet away.

     They spent the first two hours of Mira’s absence setting up their “genius” plan. Operation “stopbeingaloser” if you wanted to go by Zoey’s words. The setup being making the whole place look like a valentine’s day commercial had taken up residence there.

     There were rose petals strewn about the floor, the couch, and the kitchen counters. The usual pillows that adorned the couch had been replaced with heart shaped pillows with cheesy sayings on them. There was a speaker playing romantic music at a low, gentle volume.

     Handcrafted heart streamers hung from the walls (made by Zoey of course because each “heart” that Rumi made looked more like the feeling of when you bump your hip on the corner of a table) in different shades of reds and pinks. The hearts were connected by thin ribbon and had been intricately woven into holes punched in the tops of the hearts. Zoey was rather proud of her handiwork here, lamenting how it took days to get just right.

     The overhead lights were disregarded and instead the whole place was lit with warm, low light lamps. Rumi didn’t really think this was an integral part of the plan, but Zoey argued that you can’t have any kind of romantic setting with the big lights on. There were candles lit on various surfaces that contributed to the lowlight setting as well as emitting a pleasant aroma that was supposed to be relaxing.

     In the kitchen a heart shaped platter of chocolate covered strawberries rested on the island, surrounded by various other fruits, although not also dipped in chocolate. There were little notes folded into silly shapes all over the table, each one containing something different.

     All in all, the plan wasn’t showy or costly. It wasn’t flashy or something that made a huge statement, like buying a football stadium and putting Mira’s face on a blimp with a banner saying “I’m in love with you! -Rumi” and having it fly overhead with Mira in the stadium. No, nothing like that, but both Rumi and Zoey agreed that this was more intimate and more personal. Something that Mira might be a bit more receptive to.

     Suddenly they heard the creak of a door. Zoey’s head shot up so fast Rumi could have sworn she heard her neck snap. Rumi jumped off the counter and rushed around to the door while Zoey fumbled for something that had fallen between the cushions.

     Rumi approached the door with a huge grin on her face. Filled with nerves and yet somehow even more excited about what she was about to do than she was scared. She was terrified of course, but excited to see the result of her endeavors. I mean, this could end in a crushing, debilitating way for her, but that’s if you wanted to be a pessimist. Rumi was going to try to be a bit more positive.

     One look at Mira however, wiped the smile clean from her face. She looked absolutely ragged. Her meticulously applied makeup was smudged and not at all in the same place it was when she had left. Her face was borderline devoid of life, seemingly having it stolen by whatever devilish creature she encountered while outside during her shoot. Her hair was standing out in odd angles where it was usually well contained in her signature ponytails, and she made no effort to correct the misbehaving strands. She looked disheveled and exhausted. It made Rumi’s heart feel like a tube of toothpaste under a hydraulic press.

     Mira’s brows knitted together as she glanced behind Rumi to see the scene laid out before her before flicking back to Rumi’s face which was now frowning. Her face went from confusion to realization to hurt all in the span of a couple of seconds. Rumi’s mouth opened to say something, anything, but before she could get anything out, Mira had spun around and walked out, slamming the door behind her.

     Rumi gaped for a second at the closed door, confusion once again spreading throughout her body. She turned around to look at Zoey who had finally found what she was looking for. She sat on the couch still with an equally confused expression, holding up a little sign with a photoshopped picture of Rumi and Mira kissing, the words “go Rumira!” handwritten on the bottom.

     “Well so much for those relaxing candles.” Zoey deadpanned with a humorless chuckle.