Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

CHAPTER 1: A LONELY MOON

A lonely moon beamed throughout the late friday evening, cold wind biting into anyone who dared step outside of their comforts.

Satoru Gojo wasn't one for comforts. Never was, never would be. Unfortunately, he'd have to get used to it eventually. There would always be more curses to fight, more spirits to save, but the fulfillment of those also had an end to it, turning from adrenaline to average, daily tasks.

The only thing truly left for Satoru Gojo were his students, whom were scattered somewhere in the confines of this unnecessarily gigantic campus.

But the students also required breaks, and when students got breaks, so did Gojo. Gojo hated breaks.

With a deep sigh, he sunk into the soft cushions of his living room couch, groggily reaching to slip his blindfold off, letting those crystal blue six-eyes breathe.
*What the hell am I here for?*

Eyes on the ceiling, he blindly fumbled for the tv remote before beginning to mindlessly sift through channels, a hole in his chest as tv programmes danced before him.
And there it was again. That gut-wrenching loneliness that appeared at the end of every day, no matter how much or how little Gojo had accomplished in said day. Whether he'd lazed around or bested the very king of curses, at the end of the day he'd find himself back here, on this large couch with no one to occupy it. In this cold apartment with no one to warm it. In this huge, encompassing dorm he used to dream during in highschool.

*Highschool.. Me and Suguru would've killed to stay here.*
*We could still stay here.*
*Stupid, stupid thought.*

And the cycle continued. During this endless loop of loneliness and emptiness, it always spiraled back to Suguru. His one and only.

*I miss him.*
The thought crossed his mind at least a dozen times per day, but during the daytime, when people talked and curses fought, Satoru could very well ignore it.
Here, there were no distractions. Just him and the moon.

*I wish you would've stayed.*
*Why didn't you stay?*
Satoru sighed shakily, a lump welling in his throat once again. He stood from his couch, mindlessly beginning to sift through his fridge and cupboards in search of something to eat, despite the fact he felt no need to.

*Suguru..*
*I should check on Shoko soon.*
*Does Shoko care as much as me?*
*Does Suguru care as much as me?*

*Enough.*

As Satoru sunk into his couch again, somber thoughts came in a spiral. No matter how loud he turned the TV, no matter how loud he obnoxiously chewed, nothing would be loud enough to drown out that deafening pit in his stomach.

As the lonely moon dipped behind the clouds, so did Satoru, seeking the sweet embrace of sleep and sinking beneath it, his loneliness quieting in favour of ignorant bliss. That blissful cloud of fog soothed him during his dreams of a past life, where he could forget about responsibilities and titles and simply live, laughing at a lunch table with his best friends.

In his sleep he was unaware that the blissful cloud of mist was but an illusion. The haze accompanied the moon in its solitude, only for it to awaken and realize clouds of mist were merely fog, and stars were millions of miles away, so distant you could consider their dreamful existence as merely another life, lost to time yet continuing to shine like gold, in his memories.

A knock at the door jolted him upright.

In an instant, Satoru was up on his feet and ready to pounce, defensive instincts having his mind shifting gears into focus mode.

His eyes quickly flicked over to the clock.
*3:25am.*
Another dozen knocks pounded against the wood, hectic and desperate.

With careful steps and arms raised in attack he approached the door and pulled it open.

He froze.

A choked voice called out to him through the sound of bloody coughs.
“Satoru..”

Shattered brown eyes met shining blue in the darkness, as they had so many times before.
“Please..”

*Is this a dream..?*
Satoru's guard had fallen, pupils blown wide, infinity clinging onto him out of sheer instinct. A wave of cold fear crashed into him.
“Suguru..?”

The curse user was limping, slumped against a wall that was now smeared with crimson. He clutched his bleeding side, his kesa soaked in red.
His eyes were dark with desperation, blood dripping from his mouth as he pleaded.

Gojo was glued to the spot, his shock temporarily overcome by mind-numbing fear, which he did his best to keep in check.
“What the hell happened to you!?”

“I-” The figure shook with coughs. “-please just let me in Satoru, just this once..”

A fresh anger bubbled in him.
“Why would I do that!? Why shouldn't I just kill you on the spot!?” He shouted.

With great difficulty, the figure raised his head to offer him a weak, broken smile.
“I don't know..”
And with that, Geto collapsed.

Satoru watched his splayed out body with wide eyes, unable to breathe.
*Is this a dream?*
*What do I do?*
He did his best to remind himself of who the man crumpled before him was, of what he'd done. The deadliest curse user. The curse user whose goal was to abominate all non-jujutsu users on this earth. The curse user who was so filthfully power hungry, so filthfully evil.

The curse user who was Suguru Geto.

Satoru pulled him into the apartment.

Chapter Text

CHAPTER 2: A STARLIT SKY

*The fuck..?*
Geto stirred awake, eyelids glued shut. The world spun around him as he opened them, everything nothing more than a blob of colour twirling before his eyes. A salty taste lingered on his tongue, downright disgusting.
Numbness was all he could feel for a few blissful seconds as his brain registered the situation, before being stabbed by a wave of sharp, biting pain.
Geto bit his lip to hold back a yell, a strangled yelp of pain escaping him instead. A figure moved at his side, hands roaming across his abdomen.

"You're awake." The blurry figure shifted, now directly before Geto. The surroundings still danced in some nauseating waltz before Geto’s eyes, but that voice was more than enough for Suguru to identify him.
*Satoru..*

His eyes widened, breath hitching as the previous events of the night returned to him.
*He actually let me in..*

As Geto's vision finally focused, he was met with a sight that made him physically jerk away.
“Stay still.” A stern voice bit out, yanking him back in place.

Geto swallowed, nervous for the first time in years, the touch so familiar yet so foreign.
He didn't utter a word, simply staring at the other, dumbfounded watching him work. Satoru's eyes were half lidded and cold, not even a hint of the love he *used* to look at Suguru with left along those lonely irises. Only a hollow look remained in the sorcerer's eyes, one of something Suguru assumed was regret.

A pang of hurt shot through him, an old and dusty guilt that had haunted him for all these years since his betrayal.
*I'm sorry Satoru.*
But his mouth didn't move, only his eyes.

The sorcerer didn't greet his eyes, instead focused on the wound at Geto’s side, sliding his cold hands professionally across the gash, disinfecting it. Suguru didn't dare make a noise, even as the burning pain amplified ten-fold, too busy following the ridiculously gentle movements of Gojo's hands.
*He's..*

Satoru raised his head, eyes finally meeting Sugurus. Their sparkle was gone, those shimmering blues which had long ago shined like the waves of the ocean had now darkened, shadowed by years of solitude and pressure.

Geto drank them in, the sight he'd longed for for years. The sight he'd been deprived of for years.
*Because of me.*
*I chose to leave.*
*I had to leave.*

Despite the coldness in Gojo's gaze, Suguru was able read the intent behind it. He'd always be able to. Behind the facade of coldness was a sharp, biting hurt, one only Geto could recognize, even after all these years.

A shaky sigh left him, side still burning and head still pounding.
"Satoru.." His hand twitched at his bloody side, desperate to reach out and touch what he hadn't for so excruciatingly long.

“Why did you come here?”
The six-eyes scanned his beat up face, as if searching for something.

Geto smiled weakly at the question, eyes welling with tears at the sound of his voice.
"Because I needed help."
Gojo sneered at that, laughing bitterly.
"And why would you think I'd ever help YOU, after everything you've done?"

A beat of silence passed between them. Geto's mouth opened to utter a lie, but his eyes spoke the truth.
"I didn't."

Gojo’s eyes softened at the corners as they bore into Geto's for a moment, effortlessly catching the unspoken words in them, an unused skill he'd carried for many years.
*I knew you'd help me.*

The soft look in his eyes broke, a snarl creeping onto his face.
“Why me? You could've gone to one of your sick fuck friends.”

Geto chuckled weakly, the action sending jolts of pain shooting down his spine.
His eyes lock with Satoru's again, tired rage burning in those crystal blues.
"Because you were closest.."

“You're an idiot for coming here. We're done. You made that clear long ago.”
Satoru released his waist, carelessly tossing aside the bloody towel, cold gaze wordlessly speaking threats. Threats Geto was certain Satoru would never follow through with.

“Maybe I am.”
Geto smiled weakly, almost tauntingly, dried blood in the cracks of his lips and everywhere on the body that Satoru had so carefully scanned. It was a ridiculous position to be in.

One he'd been in so many times.

The bitter, angry adult Gojo seemed to fade, replaced by the warm sight of that loving young Satoru, gently scolding him as his fingers wrapped his scars and gashes in gauze.
*My Satoru..*

"Look at you.." Biting back a yelp of pain, Geto reached out, hand cupping Satoru's cheek, fingers gently brushing against the scarred skin. "...You haven't changed.”

The warmth of his hand had Gojo’s body instantly succumbing to it, and his brain warring to suppress the overwhelming urge to lean into that marked palm, to fall back into Suguru's arms after having been deprived of his touch for so long.

But Suguru was wrong. He *had* changed.
Gojo sneered, a bitter huff of laughter leaving him.
“You don't get to say that.” His fingers wrapped around Geto's wrist, yanking it away. “You don't even know me.”

Geto's smile turned sad, the taunting tone in it faltering.
"Yet you still let me in here." Gojo’s jaw clenched at that.

"You still patched me up on this bathroom floor. You still slid my bloody shirt off to bandage me, just like before. Do you remember our missions, Satoru? Do you remember how exhausted we'd be after them? How we'd stay in your dorm in this exact building, crying in each other's arms when no eyes were on us?"
The taunt in his voice had faded entirely by the end of his speech, a quiet tear slipping down his bloody cheek, catching on his busted lip, mingling with the crimson residing there.

“Shut up!” Gojo snapped, voice breaking as his eyes welled with tears. He inhaled shakily, attempting to keep his cold facade up.
*He doesn't deserve my feelings.*

“You left, Suguru. You *chose* this path.”

"And if I could go back, I'd leave again." Geto said, watching Gojo's sneer fall into a broken look of pure hurt. The six-eyes turned his back.

“I know you would.”

"I'd do it all again." Geto chuckled sadly, voice cracking as more tears rolled down his cheeks. "I'd do it all again, but I'd make it so you'd have never known me. I'd make it so you'd have never met me, so you'd have never cried in my arms, so you'd have never been my best friend."

Geto leaned forward, exhaling sharply in pain, watching the angry tears slide down Satoru's cheeks, wiping at them with his marked thumb.
"I don't regret anything except what I did to you, Satoru.”

Gojo stiffened fully under his touch. For an indulgent, selfish moment, he allowed his eyes to drink in Suguru's words, to drink in the starlight that were his irises.

His tears ceased for but a moment, only to resurface tenfold.

"I hate you so much. I hate every part of you." Gojo swatted his hand away, snarling in exhausted anger.

"I should've killed you the moment you showed up on this fucking doorstep!" He stood, but Geto didn't react, merely smiling weakly.
He watched with no fear as Satoru's hands twisted as they had so many years ago, pointed directly between Geto's eyes. A defeated sigh left his lips as he slumped against the cold tile once again.
"If someone has the right to kill me, it's you.”

Gojo’s entire soul shook along with his hands. He called every bit of buried anger to duty, but every fragment of frustration in the world wouldn't be enough to overcome that look in Suguru's eyes. The look that had been the same since they were kids. The look that made the cruel curse-user disappear, leaving only a naive high school boy in his wake.

“..I can't!” He spat, hands dropping limply at his sides.

Suguru’s eyes followed the six-eyes as he began mindlessly pacing, eyes faraway, mumbling incoherently to himself.
“I can't I can't I can't I cant-”

Suguru frowned, chest aching at the sight of his best friend's distress, as it always would.
"Kill me all you want, Satoru. If it helps you, then go ahead." Geto spoke, the words an offer. An offer of peace, for both of them.
An offer they both knew damn well Satoru would never take.

A torturous cycle of lonely starless nights looped over and over behind Gojo’s eyes. The amount of nights he’d spent cold and alone, warm only in the dreamy, starlit presence of Suguru. A presence which only served as a temporary embrace of comfort, before it was ripped away from him again as the morning sun befell his eyelids.

*I can't kill him.*
*I'll never live again.*

“Fucking hell, Suguru! Why must you make this so difficult!”
A broken sob tore out of his throat, his composure spent.
“I hate you! I hate you so much-”
And with that, the strongest sorcerer fell to his knees, jumping into his worst enemy's arms, relishing in that presence. That presence which was for once real, palpable. Starlight that wasn't merely a dream, but continued on during the early morning and afternoon.

Geto froze, his entire wounded body suddenly paralyzing in disbelief.
"You.."

For the first time in years, Suguru Geto felt true fear. Not for himself, but for the man clinging to him and sobbing into his shoulder. For the man of his unfinished plans. For the man of his dreams.
Guilt he'd buried for years rose to the surface, guiding Geto's arms to wrap around the six-eyes.

Satoru clung to him, sobbing into his bare shoulder, forming a cocktail of cool blood and burning tears on his skin as sobs racked his body.
“Why did you leave me..? Why did you..?”

Geto sighed, holding him tighter despite the crushing pain on his ribs. "Satoru..”

A burning sensation filled Satoru's body, his nervous system close to collapse. The amount of times he'd dreamed of this moment. The amount of times he'd scolded himself for dreaming of it.
And now, Satoru couldn't care less about consequences. He couldn't care less about anything other than the fact that Suguru was *here*, *alive*.

Geto struggled to remind himself of whom it was he was holding. Satoru Gojo. The strongest sorcerer. The six-eyes. The man who could crush his entire cursed soul in a mere second, whether that be through jujutsu or words.

But that's not who he saw. No. In that moment, all Geto saw was that same highschool boy who'd spent so many nights like this, in his arms, the same tears which stained the fabric of his shoulder. The same sobs which ruffled his hair.
And the same words Geto always uttered.
"Shh.. You'll be fine."

A tear slid down his cheek, his mortal enemy nothing more than a broken boy.
"You'll be fine..”

“I won't be! I never have been!”

"Shhh.. I'm sorry, Satoru." He speaks, pressing his bloody lips against the other's hair, rubbing his back in a soothing manner.

In that moment, Geto couldn't care less about their opposite moral standing, about their fights or about their betrayals. All he could care about was comforting the breaking boy in his arms, the one he was responsible for. The ruthless, cruel curse user softened in a way only Satoru could make him soften, his words turning from cruel taunts to warm comforts, all in a dire attempt to ease the six-eyes pain.

“I can't do this again! I can't watch you leave again!”

Geto sighed softly, pushing his bangs back to press a kiss to his forehead.
“Satoru..”

His fingers tilted Satoru's chin up. Their eyes locked, icy wind meeting biting amber

“I'm not staying.”