Chapter Text
It seemed like a dream come true, didn't it? Follo really felt like he must be dreaming or hallucinating, because he believes that anyone who manages to stay calm and continue with life normally, knowing that they're now not only a giver, but also currently belong to the same team as the person who indirectly gave them the "push" to fight for their true goals, had to be a psychopath.
The most peaceful thing he could do right now with that in his mind was smoke, smoke in one of the corridors windows, now that there was nobody passing through there at this time of day. Smoking isn't something he does often, really; he only does it when something's bothering him and also when no one's watching. Even though smoking is "a habit" for many of the Cleaners, Follo feels uncomfortable being seen doing it.
He never thought that one day he would be closer to Zanka than he ever imagined, and that couldn't make him any more nervous right now. Wait, nervous? Yes, that's a very mild word to describe the butterflies in the stomach he was feeling at that very moment, but it's the one that fits best.
Follo vividly remembers the first time he saw Zanka, as if it were yesterday. That day in North Ward, he had gone to confirm whether the young cleaner with the "long cane" who was going to confront that trash beast was Alan; HE WANTED TO BE SURE that his friend had finally achieved that dream that seemed impossible for both of them, that he had managed to awaken his jinki. He didn't find Alan, but instead he found him. Instead, Follo found Zanka Nijiku.
He was someone surprisingly two years younger than him, with a more mature appearance, an imposing character and presence and with a long blue cane in his hand that seemed to be his vital instrument. Was that guy really a novice? He didn't seem like it; it couldn't be true after he had defeated such a beast with such skill and professionalism, as if he were taking candy from a child or putting the result of 2+2; something inside Follo, as he watched in amazement, made him erase those thoughts from his mind, something that somehow took away from his mind the idea that that boy could be "a genius"... and so... there may have been several reasons for joining The Cleaners, but something that is deeply undeniable is that one of the key figures was "this", the inspiration that someone like Zanka generated in him was the one that triggered everything. If Follo found the courage to join The Cleaners today it's thanks to that person... and he always wanted to find out why.
It was only after joining The Cleaners that Follo discovered it: Zanka was actually just an "average joe", without any natural talent. Everything he had achieved was through hard work and dedication, something a genius might not have known; he was just someone who wanted to prove what ordinary people like him can do. Oh, so that was it... He was inspired by him because he was someone just like him, with the same goal and objective in life. That was something that didn't surprised Follo, strangely, but it also caused something to begin growing within him that had been forming since the first time he saw him: admiration.
"Just... only admiration?"
This sudden thought made him want to smoke more, if only to forget about any possibility of "something else" happening between them, something quite far removed from reality for him. To begin with, they have never spoken to each other in their lives; in fact, Follo doubts that Zanka has ever even looked at him, and it was now that, now that they would belong to the same team, that things would be different. That was in fact what was worrying him: he was very scared that he wouldn't make a good impression on him.
Why did he think in that in the first place? He felt nothing for this another average joe other than admiration, his feeling of idolatry was completely unmistakable from anything else Follo thought he felt; that much was clear to him. Finding peace in that thought made Follo exhale the smoke he had been holding in, visibly experiencing the relaxation he had been seeking since he started standing there getting high (or rather, since this whole thing began).
The butterflies in his stomach seemed to finally subside, and with them, any anxiety he might've been experiencing also subsided; and so he remained all day, undisturbed by the nervousness and anxiety of working with the person who has been a great inspiration to him since he started working at The Cleaners and truly calm despite the worry that he might not like him with his first impression... Perhaps this is what would've happened if, in the first place, that two words of amazement wouldn't have existed.
"YOU SMOKE?!" That voice. Follo knew THAT VOICE perfectly, even in a tone of astonishment. This had to be some cruel twist of fate, but a truly cruel one, being caught smoking by one of his colleagues, and not just any colleague, but Zanka. ZANKA. The very person "responsible" for him doing this to calm down.
He threw the cigarette out the window and quickly "composed himself" to pretend that nothing was wrong, although he was a terrible faker right now. Zanka's surprised expression only worsened his desire for the earth to swallow him up at that damned precise moment.
"ZANKA! N-no, it's not what you think!" Follo answered, smiling in a noticeably akward way. His voice was slightly trembling, and the sweat typical of the anxiety of lying was betraying him in the worst way. If he was lucky, Zanka might not make a big deal of it and leave as if he hadn't seen anything, in fact he hoped he wouldn't take it seriously, but the probability of that happening was almost 0, and that was what his idol's still perplexed expression told him.
"DON'T LIE, I LITERALLY SAW YOU SMOKING!" Zanka shouted, surprised but quite sure of what he had just seen. Follo didn't know what else say. He felt something inside him, like a fervent inner desire to die, seeing that expression of disbelief on his face, which only made him think the worst; as his nervousness increased, Follo's mind began to cloud over with slightly "destructive" thoughts and questions about what might be going through Zanka's mind. What if he just killed his "chance" of please him? What if he tells someone that he smokes too? At this point a truly awkward silence fell over them, but was it more awkward than they were now, just staring at each other without knowing what to do? Doubtful.
Zanka sighed, perhaps in a grimace to end that awkward situation. "Look, if you're worried that I might tell someone, relax, I won't. I'm not a snitch."
Those words felt like lullaby music to Follo's ears. To be honest, that wasn't the only thing worrying him right now, but that didn't take away any of the relief he immediately began to feel. He sighed calmed, with the hand on his chest and the anxiety fading away, like a bad ghost leaving his body and that mental storm he had was disappearing, allowing his thoughts to flow better now. He didn't care right now if it was Zanka who was looking at him, apparently serious as he almost always is.
"Oh God, thank you. I thought the worst." He said, grateful. He never lost his smile, nor did the "joy" evaporate from his words, although Follo suddenly remembered that Zanka might be thinking that he did this often. Of course, he had to clarify things to avoid misunderstandings, he didn't want Zanka to have a wrong impression about the situation. "By the way, don't think I do this often. I only do it occasionally to relax, that's all."
Perhaps everything would have ended in a completely ordinary way between them, especially with Zanka, and after this situation he would have continued with his life normally, according to what Follo believed, that's why the fact that the average joe suddenly "froze" after his thanks seemed really confusing to him, not to mention disconcerting. He couldn't tell exactly how Zanka was feeling, but he really looked tense, as if he had just remembered or done something "embarrassing" and to be honest, it was the first time he'd seen him that way. Follo was starting to get a little worried, and some concerns were beginning to form even in his face. Had he said something wrong? His concern made Follo move a little closer to him, who took a step back, and it was noticeable that his current tension was increasing somewhat, it seemed that now the anxious one was someone else; a situation that might amuse any spectator or perhaps pique their curiosity, but in reality it was just a rather silly situation.
"Zanka...? W-what's wrong?" Follo asked, confused, while his eyes in an actually innocent way remained fixed on the face of his idol, whose immobility and silence only confirmed that he was definitely anxious for something; his gaze also remained fixed on Follo's face. Despite not being focused on it, he couldn't help but think that it was always beautiful to see his blue eyes, especially when he was so close to him; they were worthy of the owner they had.
"I-I have to go!" Finally the silence was broken, and it was only for Zanka to say that and then hurry past a more confused Follo, without turning around or saying anything else, he simply headed to his room. Follo just watched, wondering to himself why that reaction. Once again, thoughts about the impression he might have of him surfaced in his mind. Had he said something he didn't like? Had his gratitude made him uncomfortable? Perhaps showing concern had scared him away? Or did he simply not like him? There was no answer for that right now, he didn't know if there would be one later.
Follo sighed, and then, taking advantage of the fact that he was "alone with himself again," he took another cigarette from his cigarette box and lit it with his lighter. Wow, he really didn't expect to find it, much less that he would catch him smoking, but now that he thinks about it... he didn't really have any complaints about it. Zanka spoke to him for the first time, that was reason enough not to do it, and even had the opportunity to see his eyes up close.
"His eyes are so beautiful."
When Follo thought about this, he couldn't help but smile in a way that could only be described as cheesy, while blushing slightly. Perhaps, just perhaps, he finally realized that this wasn't just simple "admiration" , but would he ever speak to him again?