Chapter Text
In hindsight, Roy probably should’ve known this encounter with Fullmetal wasn’t going to go well. In the weeks since the now-Brigadier-General Hughes had been murdered he had tirelessly thrown himself into finding the killer, not uncommonly staying up with piles of books and old cases into the early hours of the morning. Eating got thrown to the wayside, Roy stubbornly refusing to leave his work until the hunger pains got so bad he couldn’t focus any longer or Riza gave him the “Go eat or I will shoot you” look. He knew he couldn’t function like this for much longer, but at the same time he couldn’t bring himself to stop. The worried glances he caught his team giving each other behind his back were only increasing as time went on, and Roy knew it was only a matter of time before his lieutenant knocked him unconscious, dragged him back to his apartment, and tied him to his bed until he got enough sleep. Well, maybe not quite that, but whatever it was it wasn’t going to end well for him.
The day had been going normally enough, him diving into his work and barely noticing as the sunlight waned and one-by-one his team packed up and went home. After long the only person left was the lieutenant, and Roy didn’t miss the glances she kept sending his way. I should go home...no, I can go a little longer. I’m not getting anywhere, and I won’t if I give up now. I won’t- The frustration simmering inside him was starting to be unbearable, but he couldn’t rest, couldn’t sleep, not when he thought about the three year old girl left to grow up without a father. Not when every time he slept he heard the gunshot go off through the phone receiver at his ear; whatever Hughes had needed to tell him lost forever.
His inner monologue was interrupted by the door rather suddenly swinging open, accompanied by a flash of red and an energetic “Heya, Colonel!”
Roy groaned. “What do you want, Elric. It's so late.”
“Pfft, late? You're one to talk. And do I need to want something for me to show up? Maybe I just wanted to see you,” Ed replied, grinning.
“Just wanted to annoy me, more like.”
“Hi Edward, didn’t expect to see you today,” Riza greeted him warmly. “Is Alphonse with you?”
“Nah, he stayed back at the hotel,” Ed responded, “Found another stray cat.”
Riza laughed. “It seems to be a talent of his.”
“Tell me about it.”
“You walked all the way from the hotel?” Roy asked. “I was going to head home pretty soon anyway, I can drop you off there if you want.”
“I mean, that’s not exactly on your way, but alright,” Ed accepted. “Just let me go grab some research stuff first, it should only take a couple minutes.” He walked out of the room and Roy sighed, rubbing his temples to try and ease the headache that had manifested a few weeks ago and never really went away.
“Colonel?” Riza asked softly as she walked closer. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah...I’ll be fine,” Roy replied. He was lying, and both of them knew it.
“I want you to actually sleep tonight,” she told him, her eyes telling him there was no room for argument. Roy saw her hand drift down the gun at her hip and stiffened, a healthy amount of fear running through him.
“Alright,” he nodded quickly, his voice a bit higher than normal in a way he was sure Ed would've found hilarious.
“Good. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said, pulling on her coat before heading for the door. She stopped with her hand on the knob and turned back towards him, expression softening slightly. “Have a good night, sir.”
“You too, Lieutenant.” Roy relaxed a few seconds later when the door shut, letting out a relieved breath. That woman could be downright terrifying sometimes. He had every intention of sleeping, just maybe farther into the night than his lieutenant would have liked.
Sure enough, about ten minutes later Ed came back into Roy’s office, books and various papers tucked under his arm haphazardly. They made their way down the hallways of Central Command, the normally-bustling building now quiet in the early hours of the night. It started as some little thing, Ed poking fun at Roy like he always did, but with everything that had been happening it rubbed Roy the wrong way and his response to the boy had more edge to it than normal. Roy hoped Ed would back down, but he must have been in a good mood because he kept at it, pushing all the little buttons he knew Roy had after years of practice.
“Hey, once I get my arm and leg back I want a rematch. I can’t wait to see everyone’s faces when I take down the ‘War Hero of Ishval’ even without my automail!” Ed teased, throwing a fair amount of condensation in with the challenge.
Something inside Roy snapped, all the anger that had been building up inside of him for the past month coming out in one burst. “Yeah, well maybe I hope you don’t get your bodies back!” Roy froze, his eyes going wide as he realized what he had just said. He didn’t mean it - of course he didn’t mean it - but the damage was done. Ed slowly looked up at him, anger and betrayal written all over his face.
“Oh,” he said quietly, his voice laced with anger, “So that’s how it is. You never cared, you just wanted to use us for your own benefit!” He stood there for a second, his small frame shaking with rage before stalking off down the hallway. Ed stopped just before the door to the outside, turning back towards him. “Have a good night, Colonel Mustang,” he spat, slamming the door open and disappearing into the night.
Roy stood frozen in the seconds after the door slammed shut. He wanted to call out to Ed and tell him to stop, but knew it wouldn’t have mattered. He’d said something horrible, and Ed wasn’t one to forgive and forget with just a simple apology. A full minute passed before he forced his feet to move, walking out of the building and to his car so he could head home. He slid into the driver’s seat, laying his arms on top of the steering wheel and resting his head on top of them. He felt...numb, too tired and sleep-deprived to really do anything more than just sit for a few minutes. After a little while he pulled a picture out of his jacket, faded slightly and worn at the edges. He held it out in front of him and let it catch in the moonlight, even if he knew the contents better than the back of his hand. It was a picture of him and Hughes from just after their graduation from the military academy - arms thrown around each other and smiling brightly.
“I messed up real bad,” Roy admitted, as if his friend was right there with him. “You’d probably say something like ‘Well if you didn’t mean it, then just go apologize!’. And you’re right...I guess I’ll go tomorrow, if they haven’t cleared out by then.” He chuckled slightly before continuing; the sound filled with more guilt than humor, “Fullmetal's probably going to punch me for it, but I suppose that’s what I deserve.” He let out a long sigh, letting the hand holding the photo drop to the dash as he buried his face into the arm still resting on the steering wheel. His eyes started to fill with tears, and he let out a choked up “...miss you, you idiot.” Roy let himself have a few moments of weakness before he steeled himself, forcing the tears back down. He hadn’t cried since Hughes’ funeral and he wasn’t going to start now, not when the person responsible for his death was still on the loose.
Soon enough he ended up back at his apartment, barely registering anything until he got inside and practically collapsed onto the couch, throwing his uniform jacket onto the back of a nearby chair. With a groan he rolled to the side, grabbed some files from the top of a nearby stack and started to read through them. Within a few minutes Roy realized his mind had wandered and he hadn't actually been processing any of the information on the paper in front of him. His eyes started to feel heavy, and he knew he wasn't going to be able to hold out much longer before he fell asleep. He glanced over at the clock.
"Eleven, huh," he said, to no one in particular. "I should probably call Alphonse and let him know Fullmetal's going to be back late so he won't worry." It's the least I can do. He walked over to the phone and picked up the receiver, not having to wait long before the younger Elric’s voice echoed over the line.
“Colonel?” Al asked, surprise quickly turning to suspicion. “Wait, did Brother get himself into trouble again?”
Roy chuckled slightly. “No, not this time.” His tone got more guilty and he continued with a sigh, “As it happens, it was my fault. I snapped at him and said something I shouldn’t have and he stormed off. I was going to drive him back but he didn’t really want to be in my company after that, and I don’t blame him. Anyway, I just wanted to warn you he might not be back for a while…you know how he gets when he’s angry.”
“Boy do I,” Al replied, with the amount of tired exhaustion that came with having to talk his brother down at least three times a day.
“I don’t know if he’ll forgive me,” Roy admitted, eyes fixed on the ground from where he was leaning against the counter.
“Well, what did you say?” Al asked with curiosity before quickly backtracking. “I mean, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, obvi-”
“No, it’s alright,” Roy interrupted, a small smile making it’s way onto his face for a moment at the youngster’s nervous rambling. “I’m sure Ed’ll tell you if I don’t. I said...” he sighed again, running a hand over his face with regret and exhaustion. “I said I hoped you didn’t get your bodies back.” Boy, it sounded worse the second time, I’m a monster. But hey, I already knew that much. Roy heard Al’s sharp intake of breath on the other side of the phone and winced slightly, bracing for an abrupt hangup. It’s going to be worse for him, Ed’s at least got two limbs left. He doesn’t have anything.
Several tense seconds passed before Al spoke again. “You didn’t mean it though, right?” he asked, voice tense with a mix of sadness and anger.
“No, of course I didn’t mean it. And...I’m really sorry, Alphonse.”
“Well then you don’t have to worry, it’s alright,” he reassured him softly, the brief traces of anger in his voice gone.
“What?” Roy replied, startled at being forgiven so quickly. “You’re not mad?”
“I would be if you had meant it, sure! But you said you didn’t, and so there’s nothing to be mad about. Everyone says stuff they don’t mean. Just after the Fifth Laboratory explosion when me and Brother were in the hospital, I said something stupid to him and we got into a fight. He knew I hadn’t been doing well and we got over it pretty quickly. So I don’t think he’ll be mad at you for too long.”
Roy had to take several seconds before responding, still processing Al's forgiveness. “I just hope you’re right.”
“Thank you for telling me, Colonel.”
“Yeah, you’re welcome.”
“Have a good night,” Al told him. Roy heard the click of the call ending and stared at the phone in his hand for several seconds before shaking his head softly.
“That kid is way too sweet,” he said in wonder, a yawn interrupting his thoughts and reminding him how exhausted he was. He made his way back over to the couch and promptly fell into a much-overdue sleep, not even bothering to walk down the hallway to his room.
The next thing Roy knew, he was suddenly jolted awake from his sleep by the sound of the phone ringing. Glancing at the clock he saw it was only four in the morning and quickly stumbled over to pick it up, knowing any call at this hour must be something urgent.
“Colonel Roy Mustang speaki-”
“I think something bad’s happened to Ed,” Al blurted out frantically, “He still isn’t back and he hasn’t called or anything, he wouldn’t be gone for this long without telling me first!”
“He hasn’t showed back up yet?” Roy asked slowly, worry starting to gnaw at his chest. Al was right, it wasn’t like Ed to disappear for hours without telling anyone, even if he was worked up. As the youngest State Alchemist ever and a person who couldn’t walk away if he sensed wrongdoing of any kind, he was bound to have made quite a few enemies. Even if he was a skilled fighter and light on his feet, that didn’t mean there weren’t plenty of ways to take him down. And if he was distracted, and not paying attention to his surroundings...
“No, I even went out to look after a couple hours and didn’t see him anywhere. I’m really worried, Colonel,” Al replied, thinly masked panic clouding his young voice.
“Don’t worry Al,” Roy interrupted gently, trying his best to calm the anxious boy on the other side of the phone. “I’ll go look for him and let you know as soon as I find something, alright?”
“I’ll go with you!”
“Sorry, but not this time. If there’s someone that’s after your brother, there’s a good chance they’ll be after you as well.”
“But-”
“I know you want to go after him, but I need you to stay put for a few hours. It won’t help him if you go rushing in and something happens to you, too.” Roy knew the younger Elric could hold his own in battle, but it wasn’t worth the cost of possibly losing both of them.
A defeated “Okay,” came over the line and Roy felt something inside his gut twist painfully.
“I’ll go out right now and see what I can find,” he reassured Al. “Try not to worry about Ed too much, you know he can take care of himself.”
...at least, that’s what he was trying to tell himself. He ended the call, rubbing his eyes for a moment before worry overpowered his tiredness and he started to move, grabbing his uniform jacket and coat and heading out onto the streets.